


The Pilot Purgatory Program

by Sharkeygirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Books, Cooking Lessons, Dogma (1999) References, F/M, La Divina Commedia | The Divine Comedy References, Potions, Purgatory, Redemption, Severus Snape Dies, Sexual Harassment, Spirit Guides, Spirits, greek philosophy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 111
Words: 199,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24493372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharkeygirl/pseuds/Sharkeygirl
Summary: Even in death, Severus Snape is not guaranteed peace. In order to reach heaven, he must complete the task of helping a former acquaintance find a sense of well being. The catch? This former acquaintance is Hermione Granger. The bigger catch? He must work with a former tormenter to accomplish his goal.Can Severus succeed in his mission, or will the afterlife prove even more difficult to navigate than his earthly life?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Luna Lovegood/Harry Potter
Comments: 926
Kudos: 265





	1. Chapter 1

Severus Snape had never been defended by anyone, much less a talking dove.

The dove sat atop a golden perch to Severus’ left. His tone was even, his words clear.

“Let us not forget how many lives would have been lost had he not given so much intel to the Gryffindor side. By our estimates, thousands of non-magical lives were saved by his actions not only in Britain, but all around the world.”

The glow around Severus’ body intensified.

He glanced around. Across the silver table from him sat a woman in a white dress. Her hair was stringy and long, yet her brown eyes were bright, almost crystalline. She reminded Severus of a muggle pop star he had seen on a poster a few years ago. The first name was Alanis, though for the life of him he couldn’t remember her last name.

“Let us not ignore the good he did for his own house. We cannot forget how many Slytherins he persuaded to not longer use such despicable language as ‘mudblood.’ For many, this was the first step on their road to a more tolerant worldview. At this very moment, those lessons are bearing fruit.”

Severus’ eyes fell on the man to the right of the woman. Scars dotted his forehead like freckles. He was dressed in a white gown, though his sleeves could not cover the round scars on each of his wrists. Still, when he looked into the man’s eyes, he gained a peace he did not know was possible, a peace he hoped to maintain for all eternity.

“This is why I suggest we grant Severus Tobias Snape immediate entry into heaven.”

“Thank you, Paraclete,” the woman turned to her left. “Do you have anything to say, Anubis.”

At the end of the table, a man with a Doberman’s head stood. “I certainly do.”

“Very well, state your case.”

The man straightened his gray business suit as his ears perked up. He pointed to Severus. “Fourteen lives, most sacred Trinity, fourteen lives all brutally cut down by this man.”

Severus couldn’t help but shrink under the dog’s snarl.

“We judged all of them prematurely, a fact you acknowledged at each of their trials. All of them described the absolute terror they felt at the end of their lives, Albus Dumbledore excluded of course.”

Albus Dumbledore. That was the first time the name had come up, and Severus didn't think it would be the last

What had happened to the old man anyway? When Severus drew his last breath, he had expected someone to escort him into the bright light. Lily may not have met him, but if not her Dumbledore seemed the next logical choice.

Severus had never considered nobody would greet him in the afterlife.Instead, he was thrown into this stark conference room, asked if he was comfortable by a man with scars similar to the man with soft eyes. After answering, "yes," the woman, the soft-eyed man, and Paraclete appeared. Soon Anubis took his place. Nobody had told him anything. They had ceased with introductions millennia ago.

Either way, they made Severus wish he’d paid more attention during Mass. He wondered if Anubis would bring up his lack of attendance at some point.

“I would also like to point out all the grade deduction he gave his students,” Anubis paused, “The unjust grade deductions.”

The woman frowned. Even the scarred man’s expression had hardened. Paraclete cocked his head.

“For centuries we’ve been sorting out these house rivalry wars, and the case load is only getting bigger. We need to maintain some type of consistency amidst it all. If we are going to throw the book at Albus and Sirius, we need to do the same to Severus.”

Severus’ glow dimmed. What did 'throw the book' entail?

"You know what their judgments were...."

Severus slumped further into his chair, wondering what hope was there for him if even Albus couldn't make it to heaven.

“Do not be fooled by his humble attitude. He has been just as prejudiced towards his house as anyone else we’ve denied entry into heaven. No matter how much he has suffered, he made sure those around him suffered just as much, in some cases more. I have yet to see any evidence that he has repented of these sins.”

Severus looked at the dove, wondering if he’d object. Paraclete fluffed his feathers.

“This man is not worthy of heaven!”

“Are you telling us we should hand him over to Belial?” The scarred man asked.

“That is for you three to decide. All I can do is give my humble suggestion.”

If Anubis said anything more, Severus didn’t hear it. He bowed his head and began to count the golden floor tiles.

“Thank you,” the woman announced after Severus reached seventy-seven tiles. “You have given us much to meditate upon.”

“Indeed you have,” the man echoed.

Severus raised his head.

“Dismas,” the man to the woman’s right called.

The man sitting beside Anubis rose.

“Please escort Severus Tobias Snape out into the waiting room. We will begin our deliberations now.”

The man nodded and approached Severus. The former potions professor tensed, half expecting to be restrained by handcuffs. Instead, Dismas held out his hand. With some reluctance, Severus took it.

Together, they left the room.

***

There was no room starker than the waiting room.

The black chair Severus sat upon was made of onyx. Had he been able to feel pain, it may have been uncomfortable. The coloring of the chair stood in contrast to the walls, which were all bleached white. They clashed with the glistening golden ground. Nothing else was in the room. No magazines, no newspapers, not even a stray toy with which to amuse oneself. Severus was alone with him mind, and the man leaning against the metal door.

Severus fidgeted with the hem of his black gown. When he returned to the room, he should thank the Trinity for dressing him in his favorite color, assuming they would allow him to speak.

Silence reigned.

Had it been minutes, months, years? It was so easy to lose time in a place such as this. He wondered if he should be tired, or if fatigue was a nasty habit his soul would break itself of. All his life Severus had struggled to sleep every day of his life, yet he almost missed the relaxation which could come with closed eyes.

He attempted to shut his eyes, but everything remained just as clear. Despite the welling fear, his stomach was not churning, nor could he sense the beating of his heart. His body was nothing more than a hazy memory.

More silence.

Severus scowled and turned to Dismas. “What is taking them so long in there?”

“They are still judging you.”

“When will they finish?”

“Whenever they see it fit to do so.”

Severus grumbled, “It is already taking them too long.”

The man gave him a half grin. “You haven’t been out here as long as you think.”

“How long have I been in here?”

“I can’t honestly say. It’s difficult to tell time as a saint."

Severus twisted his mouth.

"I know what a century feels like though. It hasn’t been nearly that long.”

Severus released the hem of his robe.

“I would look at a clock for you, but they get angry when I leave my post.”

“That is fine, uh, Dismas?”

“Yes.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what role do you play in all of this?"

"I'm the bailiff, more or less."

"I know, but I don't recognize your name."

“That's a shame given that my story is one of the most famous in all of Christianity. The only problem is that in most retellings I am unnamed.”

Severus cocked his head.

“Most people know me as the Good Thief.”

Severus’ glow grew. “I thought you were just a myth invented by Saint Luke.”

“No, he’s the only one who got the story right.”

“Why did Mark and Matthew say you jeered at Christ if you are a saint?”

Dismas shrugged. “I murdered and stole. If I was so sinful that I was crucified, then I must have been too sinful to recognize Christ, much less make it to heaven. It only made sense for me to be a monster regardless of the truth.”

Severus nodded.

“Anyway, it is great to meet you.” Dismas extended his hand.

Severus took it. “It is a pleasure to meet you as well.”

The door creaked open.

“We’re ready.”

Dismas helped Severus out of his chair. “I’d wish you good luck, but I doubt you’ll need it.”

Severus wandered inside, hoping Dismas was correct in his assessment.

***

Once Severus returned to his seat, he eyed the Trinity. The woman was as emotionless while the man still maintained his gentle expression. Paraclete’s feathers were smooth, so perhaps he had not become too ruffled by the conversation. He scanned the room for Anubis, but he had disappeared.

“We apologize for taking some time to deliberate,” the man began. “There were a few details we needed to iron out.”

Severus knew better than to say a word.

“It is clear to us that over the last eighteen years you have fought for what was right, even at great personal cost. All of us agree you are a hero,” the man began.

Severus pursed his lips.

“We have reservations about allowing you into heaven though,” the woman added.

Severus’ glow lessened.

“There are certain deficiencies you possess, certain actions we cannot overlook,” the woman continued. “It would not be fair or consistent with our previous rulings to allow you into heaven with no purgation.”

Dismas shot Severus a look of sympathy.

“This puts us in a precarious position though,” the woman continued.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Under normal circumstances, we would put someone such as you in purgatory for a certain amount of time. Once we determined you were ready for heaven, we'd let you go through the pearly gates,” the scarred man added. “Yet you have experienced more purification in the last eighteen years than most souls will endure after eight centuries in Purgatory.”

“So we needed to get creative,” Paraclete chimed in.

Severus’ glow brightened

“There is a program we've been meaning to try out. See, our older methods of purgation are proving ineffective. People are staying in Purgatory longer and not learning the lessons we hoped they would. This is lengthening the sentences, and is leading to overcrowding. In light of this we’ve decided upon some more hands on purgation.”

They stared at Severus.

“What kind of program do you have in mind?” Severus asked.

“You are to perform a good deed for a soul who has lost hope, one who is in desperate need of guidance,” the woman explained.

“It will be like divine intervention,” Paraclete replied. “Only we will not be directly involved.”

“What would the specifics of this good deed entail?” Severus asked.

“That will be up for Saint Peter and Saint Dismas to decide,” the scarred man answered.

Severus turned to the man in brown. The saint flashed him a smile.

“In order to perform this good deed, you will need to work with a partner who is seeking to reduce his purgatory sentence."

“So we are in similar positions?”

“Yes,” Paraclete answered. “You will be working together towards achieving purification.”

“What happens if I refuse to enter this Purgatory Program?”

“Then we will need to send you to the actual Purgatory for a century.”

“What awaits me there?”

“For someone like you, we would put you in a room with a television. There you would watch your entire life for a century, perhaps more if enough purification has not occurred.”

Severus’ eyes grew.

“The good deed should not take a century, at least not in a perfect world.”

“If the good deed is shorter, why would you substitute that for the century in a room?”

“If you do the good deed your mind will be off of yourself and will be focused upon improving the world in a way you could not do while still alive,” the scarred man explained. "It will purify you while helping another. It's perfect for everyone involved."

Severus tilted his head upwards. Another century reliving his miserable life was hellish enough, but the last thing he wanted to do was work with another dunderhead. Then again, how long could this mission take? Surely it couldn't take that long to perform a good deed. 

What was the catch in all this?

“What is your decision?” The woman asked. “Do you want to go to Purgatory, or to be one of the first participants in the Pilot Purgatory Program?”


	2. Chapter 2

He regretted agreeing to the Pilot Purgatory Program the second he heard his partner’s voice.

“Come on St. Pete, I think it’s a more than fair trade off! I do this good deed, teach you how to ride a motorcycle, and you help me reduce my purgatory sentence. Everyone wins.”

St. Pete shook his head. “The goal of purgatory is to repentant of your sins, not pay your way out of purification.”

“But it worked for people in the Middle Ages. They paid an indulgence and left purgatory.”

“Actually they just paid to build churches. Their monetary contributions had no effect on their sentences.”

“They were onto something though. If you agree to my terms, we both get what we want. Isn’t that what heaven is all about: getting everything you want?”

“No, it isn’t.”

Severus and Dismas stepped over a tall cumulus cloud, exposing the view of two men standing before a shimmering golden gate. St. Pete was dressed in a red cossack, with golden stitching. His silver sandals exposed a knotted scar on each of his feet. His well trimmed beard went down to his chin, and his eyes were coffee brown.

The other man was Sirius Black in a white robe.

“My offer still stands. You don’t know what you’re missing,” Sirius continued. “Riding a motorcycle was one of the great joys of my life. It could be the great joy of your afterlife too if you try it.”

“I am sure that I will find time to ride a motorcycle between now and the end of eternity with or without your help.”

“Oh you want my help. I know the best motorcycle to ride and how to dress so everyone will notice you.”

“Everyone notices me just fine.”

Severus stopped. Dismas took two steps ahead of him before pausing.

“They notice you for all the wrong reasons. They think you look…”

St. Peter gave him a look.

“Interesting." Sirius drawled. "You look very interesting, but you could look even more so.'”

St. Pete rolled his eyes.

Dismas approached Severus. “Is everything okay?”

“What is Sirius doing here?” Severus hissed.

Dismas gestured for him to follow. Severus stayed in place.

“You look nice, but there’s always room to improve one’s appearance. I can help update your style so you look like you’re from the last century.”

St. Pete groaned.

“Just think about it,” Sirius gave him a look that made most used car sales people appear honest. “I think we’d make a great team.”

“Speaking of team!” Dismas took Severus’ hand and thrust him forward. “I found your partner for the Purgatory Program.”

Sirius’ grin evaporated.

Severus scowled as his glow became a dull red.

Dismas stopped when he and Severus were only two meters from the other men. “Sirius, you and Severus will be working together to perform a good deed and reduce your purgatory time.”

“Reduce?” Severus barked. “I thought I was getting out of purgatory altogether.”

“You are,” Dismas replied. “This good deed is worth a hundred years. Your sentence is only one hundred years so you won't need to do anything else once this is done.”

Severus crossed his arms over his chest.

“Sirius’ was a bit longer. He’s going to need a few more good deeds before he’s allowed to enter the pearly gates.”

“And one of these good deeds will not consist of him teaching me how to ride a motorcycle," St. Pete cut in.

Severus’ scowl became a smirk.

Now Sirius was red. “How can he only have a century when I have a millennium? He’s killed people! I fought for the Light! I deserve heaven more than he does!”

“First of all, nobody deserves heaven more than another person. Second of all, he hasn’t spent the afternoon trying to bribe saints into getting out of purgatory,” St. Pete answered.

“I wasn’t bribing you. I was just trying to find a way where we could both get what we wanted.”

“Which is, for lack of a better term, a bribe.”

“I do not care how long Black’s sentence is,” Severus cut in. “I’m not helping him.”

“Then you want to go to Purgatory?” Dismas asked.

“If it means avoiding Black, yes.”

“I want another partner too!”

St Pete glared at Sirius. “This is the only one we’re giving you.”

“What?”

“Neither of you is getting another partner. Either you work together or you go to the actual Purgatory.”

“When can I leave?” Severus asked.

“As soon as you make your final decision.”

“Well then…”

Now Sirius’ eyes were big. “You can’t be serious. I just got out of that cage. You want to put me back in there because Snivellus won’t work with me?”

“First of all, you have just tacked on ten more years of purgatory with that petty display of name calling,” St. Pete answered. “Second of all, Severus’ refusal to help you may prompt you to engage in some much needed self-reflection. For that alone, this program may have proven successful.”

“I agree,” Dismas chimed in. “But it does make me wonder if perhaps Severus’ purgatory punishment will be amended.”

“Oh?” St. Pete asked.

“Right now his purgatory is watching his life for the next century, but I do not believe the Trinity would find that appropriate when they learn why he's refusing their offer.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“I get no say in Purgatory sentences, but I know wrath when I see it. Now if word were to get back to the Trinity about this little spat, they may decide that a little Dante’s Purgatorio is in order.”

“Dante?” Severus drawled.

“Yes.”

“I thought that was just a fictional poem.”

“Some parts of _The Divine Comedy_ are less than factual but others are fairly accurate. You have read it correct?”

“Yes, but it’s been awhile.”

“If you remember the third terrace of purgatory, it is full of acrid, blinding smoke. The wrathful stroll around in it, suffocating on their own anger.”

“If I cannot breathe how can I suffocate?”

“We have ways of simulating breathing.” From the look on Dismas’ eyes. Severus did not want to know more.

“Wait,” Sirius cut in. “There are different layers of Purgatory?”

“Yes, each person’s purgatory is different. Being in solitary confinement and suffocating smoke have been proven to be effective forms of purgation over the centuries.” Dismas explained. “We have other methods of purification though, some which may prove more than appropriate in your cases.”

Severus’ glow pulsated as his mind wandered to an incident in his teens.

_The smoke was smothering. The odor clung to the furniture, walls, and most pungently, on the man himself. Even the walls and the man’s shirt was gray from the ashes._

_He’d been holding a cigarette when Severus burst into his house. It was still in his hand when Severus cast the killing curse. Still in his blue plaid bathrobe, the man had collapsed without a word, his wide eyes staring into Severus’ soul._

_From behind the mask, Severus had grinned, taking pride in the fact that he had proven himself a worthy Death Eater. At the time, the scent of smoke had been a pleasing aroma. A few years later though, his stomach churned at the memory of that cigarette._

Purgatory would force him to remember that man, to meditate upon the wail from his wife just before she too was struck down. Was this a portion of his life he needed to relive? Wasn’t every day for the last eighteen years making up for the sin of his murder? Hadn’t he had enough guilt and purgation for one life? Did he need to torture himself for a century just so Sirius could receive the justice he deserved?

“Would you two like to hear what your good deed is before I tell the Trinity that you two refuse to be our first participants?” Dismas asked.

Sirius’ glow was dim, and his voice was weak. “I’m willing to listen to whatever offer you have.”

“Severus?”

“There are worse things in the universe than ensuring Black’s salvation.” Severus’ expression softened. “I suppose it would not hurt to hear out what this mission is before refusing it.”

“Good,” Dismas' smile returned. “Your task will be to help Hermione Granger discover eudaimonia.”

“Hermione Granger!” Sirius and Severus shouted.

Dismas nodded.

“You want us to give eudaemonia to the third member of the Golden Trio?” Severus snapped.

“No, I want you to help her find her sense of eudaimonia.”

Sirius tilted his head. “What on earth is that?”

“Eudaimonia is the ancient Greek word for happiness…”

“Oh you want us to make her happy!”

“No, it's deeper than that. You need to help her discover an overall sense of well-being.”

Severus’s eyes flickered in understanding. “Is this similar to what Aristotle discussed in Nicomachean Ethics?”

Dismas snapped his fingers. “Exactly.”

“I’m sorry, but who’s Aristotle?” Sirius asked.

“I’m Severus would be happy to tell you all about him.”

Severus’ frown returned. Perhaps reliving the memory of the fallen muggle would prove more pleasant than teaching Greek philosophy to a dog.

“Ms. Granger is in need of divine assistance which both you are in a perfect position to give.”

Sirius folded his hands. “Will I get to see Harry again?”

“You will get to seehim again, yet you won’t be able to interact with him.”

“Oh,” Sirius’ glow turned yellow. “Just seeing him will be enough.”

Severus twisted his lips. Oh joy, more time with Potter.

“Here is how the mission is set up,” Dismas explained. “Sirius will be allowed to travel whichever part of the world pertains to his mission. The only caveat is nobody will see or hear him. He can only observe others, not interact with his surroundings.”

“Will they feel my presence?”

“It depends on how spiritually in tune they are with the world.”

Sirius’ glow intensified. “At least I get to see Harry again. That’s worth almost anything.”

“Indeed.” Dismas turned to Severus. “Your role is different. For the entirety of the mission, you will only be allowed to visit Ms. Granger’s house.”

“How scenic.”

“Only she will be able to see and hear you. You can touch whatever she asks you to touch, but otherwise you will have no power over physical objects. You may stay at her house as long as you deem it necessary, but we would prefer weekly check ins. This way we can judge how effective our program is.”

“I can manage that.”

“Good,” Dismas turned to Sirius. “You can observe Hermione from outside and report to Severus what you feel is necessary for him to know. He will deal with Ms. Granger from there.”

“I believe the roles should be reversed. I am the superior spy.”

“You are an amazing spy. Still, Sirius needs to be more focused on considering the needs of others, and you need to be more focused on improving one on one relationships. Given that purgatory is about self-improvement, I think the current roles suit each of you perfectly.”

Severus couldn’t find an argument against that logic.

“The only question which remains now if whether or not you two agree to these terms.”

“I think I could work with Sni…”

St. Pete glared at Sirius.

“Sni..eape! I could work with Snape for a time.”

The spirits turned to Severus.

“I suppose this will be a relatively short mission,” Severus replied. “I cannot imagine it taking longer than a few months. That is preferable to a century in a smoky room. There is only one request I have.”

“Yes?”

“If Sirius becomes too obstinate…”

“You can call me,” Dismas replied.

“I can?”

“Yes, and I will rectify the situation.” Dismas locked eyes with Sirius. “Even if that means calling Metatron.”

“Metatron?”

“Yes,” Dismas kept his gaze on Sirius. “That was the angel who prosecuted him, and who is still a bit touchy that his suggested punishments were not chosen.”

Sirius shrank as his glow dimmed.

“All that being said,” Dismas’ glow brightened as his expression became more pleasant. “Are you two ready to work together to help Ms. Hermione Jean Granger?”

Sirius extended his hand. “I think I can try to work with Snape.”

All eyes fell on the man in a black robe.

He stared at the outstretched hand. Part of the reason he did not want to relive his life was due in large part to the dog’s mistreatment of him. It would serve him right to do more purgatory time.

Then again Severus had had enough of purification. He deserved peace, which was something he would not receive if he was forced to relive every vile memory he’d endured. This mission could not be as unpleasant as purgatory. Judging from the size of the gate, heaven was huge. There was a good chance he would never see Sirius again once this was done.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

Severus shook Sirius’ hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

The second Severus shook Sirius’ hand, he was transported to a room with stark bleached walls. The carpet was scarlet, but the suede couch to his right was a deep emerald. Clearly there were no favorite houses in the afterlife, nor was house rivalry tolerated. It forced Severus to wonder why anyone ever cared about winning the house cup.

“So, I guess I’m supposed to go down and spy on Hermione now,” Sirius began.

“Do you even know how to spy?”

“If you could do it so could anyone.” Sirius laughed at his own joke.

Severus scowled. “Spying is far more involved than simply watching someone from afar.”

“I know, you’re supposed to stay hidden while you do it. Don’t worry! Being noticed isn’t a concern given our rules.”

“Spying is much more complicated than sneaking around unnoticed. It involves careful observation.”

“I can observe things carefully.”

“You can?”

“Sure. Again, I’ll just watch what’s happening and that’ll be enough.”

“Are you so dense you cannot grasp the simplest concept? Spying is not just about watching people. You need to take into account what is said as well as what is unsaid. You need to take into account your surroundings as well as the context of conversations. Most importantly, you need to keep your mission in mind without becoming distracted.”

“Our goal is clear in my mind. The second we give Hermione euro…eurapa…domia…”

“Eudaimonia.”

“Right, eudaimonia. The second we give her that is the second we can be free of each other.” Sirius lowered his voice. “Which is exactly what both of us wants.”

Severus shook his head. “It will probably take you a century for you to collect any intelligence that’s worth acting upon.”

“Sorry I’m not a super spy like you were.”

“In the name of staying out of Purgatory, I will forgive you for that fault.”

Sirius glow became neon red. “If you’re so smart why don’t you do this mission alone? Just ask Hermione what she needs, give it to her, and then we both go our separate ways.”

“Because it’s doubtful Hermione will be completely upfront with me.”

“I wonder why Hermione isn’t eager to tell you everything. You were such a nice, supportive professor who never insulted her. It just doesn’t make sense why she wouldn't confide her deepest desires to you.”

Severus glared at Sirius. “I had my reasons for acting as I did.”

“So did I, but nobody up here will give me a bloody break. In the meantime Death Eaters apparently only get one century in Purgatory while people who fought for the light are lucky if anyone listens to their appeals.”

“Aw, are you hurt because nobody is bowing to your greatness?”

“It would be nice to have my good deeds taken into account every once in a while! Do you have any idea what it’s like for everyone to focus on the things you did wrong and never look at the things you got right?”

“It’s tragic, isn’t it?”

“It is. I’m still trying to figure out what I did that was so wrong compared to you. I was as nice as I could be to those who deserved my kindness….”

“Are you planning on spending our entire mission whining about how the Trinity is not catering to your every whim, or are you actually going to do some spying?”

“So now you trust me to spy?”

“No, a three year old could collect more valuable information than you could. Still, if I had a body you would be giving me a migraine.”

“If I had a body I would be on the verge of vomiting.”

“That would be rather unfortunate given that I see no entrance to a bathroom or trash can.”

Sirius glanced around the room. “Yes, I guess those don’t exist here.”

“Why would they? We have no use of them.”

“No, we don’t but,” Sirius scratched his chin. “You’d think the afterlife would have more to look at.”

“Perhaps all the scenic areas are in heaven or hell,” Severus replied.

“I’d prefer not to know about the landscape of hell,” Sirius answered. “Anyway, I have some spying to do. Have fun staring at the wall thinking about how wonderful a professor you were. Everyone’s kissing your arse around here. Might as well enjoy it! ”

With that Sirius disappeared.

After a few moments, Severus strolled towards the couch. Under most circumstances, he would search for a book, yet none could be found. Taking a nap had already proven to be futile, so all he could do was wait for Sirius to return and hopefully provide anything useful.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

Severus startled.

“Sorry,” Dismas gave him a small grin. “I’m so used to dropping in on people without knocking that I forget the newer souls aren’t used to it yet.”

“I suppose I will get used to it.” Severus moved to his right.

“You will.” The Good Thief sat beside him. “In time, you’ll adjust.”

“I will have all the time in the universe to do so.”

Dismas’ glow brightened. “Now you’re understanding how things work.”

“Indeed.”

Silence fell between them.

“May I ask you a few questions?” Severus asked.

“Ask away.”

Severus’ glow turned blue. In a voice barely above a whisper, he asked, “What happened to Lily?”

“She’s in heaven now.”

“Now?”

“Yep. She finished her decade long stint in Purgatory about fifteen years ago.”

“She spent time in Purgatory?”

“Yes.”

“For what?”

“Wrath.”

“Wrath?”

Dismas nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, the sacrifice for her son left a wonderful impression on the Trinity. Still, in life she refused to forgive you, something she made all too clear during her trial.”

Severus’ glow was almost extinguished.

“We sent her to a smoky room for a decade. Then we let her ascend to heaven. I don’t think she was fully done being purified until she watched your final years though. It hurt her to see the consequences of her uncharity. By the time you died, she was more than repentant.”

“I forgave her for being upset with me. I deserved to be discarded.”

“No, you did not. Deep down inside, she knew it too.”

“She was too good for me.”

“If she was here right now, I’m sure she’d disagree.”

“Will I get to see her once I arrive in heaven?”

“I’m sure she’d love the company. Remus and Nymphadora are great companions, but I’m sure she would not mind speaking with another person.”

“So Remus made it to heaven?”

“He and his wife were what we call straight shots. The Trinity had no reservations about sending them to heaven immediately after their deaths.”

“What about James?”

“Let’s just say the Trinity agreed with your assertion that James was lazy and petty.”

Severus smirked.

“He is working Purgatory’s intake for the next half millennium. His duties include filling out massive amounts of paperwork and listening to complaints, despite the fact that he has no power to resolve anything. There will be endless work, no breaks, and nobody who thinks his pranks are the least bit entertaining.”

“That sounds like hell for him.”

“Nobody said Purgatory was supposed to be fun.”

“Assuming this program is successful though, won’t it decrease his workload?”

“Trust me, there's always a bit of paperwork to do.”

“And here I thought God was above bureaucracy.”

“The Trinity is above meaningless paperwork, but some of the angels and saints feel the need to justify their positions.”

“So the afterlife is not all that different from earth?”

“Let’s just say old habits die hard, and some bad ones are picked up through observation.”

“I can believe that.” Severus eyes became distant.

“Do you have another question?”

“Yes, what happened to Albus?”

Dismas furrowed his eyebrows. “Let’s just say when he realized the Trinity were more concerned with how he used people like puppets than the magic tricks he could perform, things went downhill for him…quite literally.”

“But Albus was supposed to be one of the greatest wizards of all time.”

“The first shall become the last.”

"Still, he fought for the light."

"No, he fought for himself."

"But so many people looked up to him."

"Then they looked down on you for allegedly murdering him."

"True."

A reflective silence fell between them.

“May I ask one favor?”

“Go ahead.”

Severus ran his hands along his black robe, “Could I please have some reading material? There is little to do in this room other than sit and think.”

“The goal of Purgatory is to make people sit and think.”

“I know, but would you not agree that I have been alone with my thoughts enough?”

“I’ll see what I can arrange.”

“Thank you.”

“In fact,” there was a spark in Dismas’ eyes. “I think some Plato and Aristotle would be great to have on hand. It would help Sirius understand better what the mission is.”

“It would be better than explaining everything to him.”

“I will obtain some Aristotle, and perhaps some Plato so he can educate himself while he isn’t working.”

“Thank you.”

“No thanks are necessary.” The Good Thief stood.

“Also,” Severus’ voice softened. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to avoid a century of Purgatory. I do appreciate the opportunity to reduce my sentence.”

“Don’t thank me yet. By the time you’re finished you may wish you had never heard of this program”

The saint disappeared, leaving Severus to contemplate his words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

I’ll be an even better spy than Severus Snape could ever hope to be!

Sirius stormed down Diagon Alley, not bothering to avoid the pedestrians scattered about. What good was the ability to walk through someone if you dodged them?

How hard could spying be? Despite what everyone in the afterlife says, Severus Snape was not that special. If he can spy then so can I!

Sirius stopped in front of a store. This was the place he was to meet Hermione, though how he knew that was unclear. Afterlife intuition he supposed.

Looking up, he read the overhead sign.

_Paradisio Books_

Sirius hummed. He’d never heard of this store. Then again judging from the building’s fresh coat of white paint and the unchipped letters on the sign it was a new establishment.

“That dunderhead!”

A woman plowed through Sirius. He opened his mouth to shout at her, only to remember that he could not interact with anyone. Frown deepening, he straightened his white robe. 

She grabbed a key from her pants pocket and flung open the door. Still grumbling under her breath she stormed inside.

Sirius blinked. That couldn’t have been her. Sure, the hair was bushy enough to be hers, and her voice was the same. Still, her pissy attitude rivaled Severus’.

Could that really be Hermione?

Sirius darted into the store and took his place behind a dustless bookshelf.

“Of all the times to be late on a delivery, he picked today?” The woman threw up her hands. “Why not? It isn’t as if that book isn’t destined to fly off the shelves!”

His eyes grew. It was Hermione all right. Although she had grown into her body, there were lines from where her scowl had been etched upon her face. Her eyes were much harder as well, as if she had discarded any hope of optimism.

What had gone wrong?

The door behind him chimed.

“Oh good, you’re here,” Hermione began. “I need to make a few floo calls, so please run the register while I’m gone.”

“Yes,” the other woman replied, unfazed by her employer’s attitude.

Hermione went into a back room and slammed the door. Sirius followed.

Hermione threw her coat onto a black padded chair. Then she began to brew a cup of coffee on a device he had never seen before. She tapped her feet as she waited, still muttering obscenities under her breath.

Piles of parchments cluttered her desk. While there was a white cup for the quills, a few were strewn around about. Still, the edge of a calendar hung over the edge.

March 2006.

His eyes grew. I’ve been dead a few months short of a decade? It feels as if I’ve been dead for a century. If I’ve only been dead for a decade though, I’m not even a tenth of the way through my purgatory sentence!

Before Sirius could meditate on the situation further, he heard a hiss. Hermione shut off the machine before taking a sip of coffee. After inhaling the aroma, she took a deep breath.

For a moment Sirius wondered what it would be like to drink again. Coffee had never been his favorite beverage, but he missed tasting anything. Come to think of it, he missed touching anything. So many times he’d taken his body for granted. Even in the afterlife, he hadn’t considered the implications of being disembodied. Within the stark space of purgatory there was little to experience other than sight and sound. Being on earth again reminded him of all that he had once loved, and what he was beginning to miss.

“Mr. Wilson?”

Sirius startled.

An ashen head appeared on the other end of the fireplace. “Oh Ms. Granger. How great to see you again.”

“It is great to see you again, though I wish the circumstances were more pleasant.”

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s a shipment which seems to have been lost.”

He sighed.

“Why hasn’t _Snape” Scoundrel or Saint_ come in yet?” 

“We told you, demand is great. It’s been difficult to ship it out to all the bookstores which need it.”

“Do you realize how foolish I will look if I do not have that book in stock tomorrow?”

“It should come in by the end of the week…”

“By then people will have already bought it,” Hermione emphasize the last phrase, “At other stores.”

“I’m sorry Ms. Granger, but I can only print so many copies.”

“And I’m sure Rita Skeeter had no influence on where you shipped the books.”

Mr. Wilson swallowed.

“I thought you were more professional than this.”

“She’s the author of the book. I thought she should have some say in which stores receive it.”

“Tell me, does she pay you a small fortune each month to have books in stock?”

“No.”

“Then when can I have my shipment of books?”

“I suppose I can redirect some of the shipments from the bigger stores to give you fifty copies.”

“Make it seventy-five and I will be satisfied.”

“Seventy-five it is then.”

“Thank you,” Hermione took a sip of coffee. “I truly do appreciate your cooperation.”

“I appreciate your business.”

“May I ask for one more thing.”

“Yes?”

The edge was gone from her voice. “Do you have the latest edition of _The Advanced Healers Guide to Potions_?”

“It won’t come out for another week, but if you want I can sell you fifty copies.”

“I will only need twenty for my store, at least at first. Still, my customers would appreciate having it in stock.”

“I am happy to help you in any way I can.”

“I know. Thank you.”

With that, the floo died.

Hermione exhaled before taking another sip of coffee. Then she returned to her desk and turned her attention to the documents on her desk.

Sirius made a fist. Of course they would write a book on Severus Snape! Nobody remembered him, but they were crawling all over themselves to read about Severus Snape! Why was he so amazing anyway? Granted, knowing Rita Skeeter, the book would more than likely belong in the fiction aisle. No doubt she would accentuate his worst aspects of Severus’ life and make him out to be the git he was. The book could forever tarnish Snape’s not so great name.

Sirius smirked. Perhaps there was justice in the universe after all.

Interrupting Sirius’ thoughts was a knock on the door.

Sirius glanced up at a clock on the wall. His eyes grew. How could I almost be noon?

Hermione glanced up from the parchment she’d been signing. “Who is it?”

“The Easter bunny.”

Hermione set her quill into her ink pot. “It’s a little early for egg hunting.”

“Maybe, but it’s never too early for chocolate.”

Hermione laughed and opened the door. “True.”

The person on the other side of the door embraced her. “Beatrice said you weren’t having the best day.”

“You know how it is, Harry. I hate Rita Skeeter yet the store loses its reputation if I don’t sell her latest book. It’s just another day in my life.”

Harry put a hand on her shoulder. “I can only imagine your frustration.”

Sirius glow intensified as he stared at his former godson. He wore an auror’s uniform, his badge displayed above his heart. Gone was the awkwardness of adolescence. In its place was a muscular man who carried himself with dignity.

If Sirius could have embraced him, he would have.

“It’s life anyway.” Hermione sighed. “What do you need?”

“Luna and I just finished lunch. I have a few minutes before my shift starts so I decided to drop in and say hi.”

“Slacker.” She gave him a playful punch on the shoulder.

“Workaholic.” Harry glanced at her desk.

“I’m not a workaholic, just always busy.”

“Shouldn’t you be taking a lunch break right about now?”

“Who says I haven’t already?”

“There isn’t so much as a crumb on your desk, nor do I see any food discarded in the trash can.”

“I don’t like eating at my desk and I incinerate my food.”

“Since when?”

“Since today.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’ll eat soon.”

“How soon is soon?”

“When I get around to it.”

“Which means not until nine tonight.”

“That isn’t true. I will find time to eat eventually.”

“That time is now.” Harry reached into his coat pocket and enlarged a bag.

Hermione’s voice softened. “You didn’t have to get anything for me.”

“Of course I did. How could I go to _L’Italia_ without picking up one of your favorite sausage flatbeds?”

Hermione took the bag from him. “Thank you so much. I just wish I had the time to enjoy it."

“Of course you have the time.”

She pointed to her desk. “Do you not see how many orders I have to make out and fill?”

“Between your project and the store you’re running yourself ragged. You need to take some time for yourself and eat."

“I will.”

“You'll eat now.”

Hermione sat. “Will you force feed me if I refuse?”

“I will.” It was difficult to tell if he was teasing.

She removed the food from it’s package. “It’s still warm.”

“I ordered it right before we left.”

“You really didn’t need to do any of this for me.”

“Someone needs to take care of you when you get like this. If it isn’t me then who will it be?”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Which is why you were planning to skip lunch.”

She undid the wrapper over the food.

“That being said,” his voice was quieter. “How is your dad doing?”

“Better,” she looked up at him. “They think he’ll be well enough to leave the hospital sometime this week.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Me too. He gave us quite a scare.”

“He did.”

She stared at her food.

“If you need anything at all, please call me. I will do whatever I can.”

“You’ve already done more than enough.”

“I don’t know about that.” His grin returned. “That being said, eat lunch every once in a while. You’re useless to us when you’re hungry.”

“Useless?” There was a spark in her eyes. “How dare you call me useless.”

“Okay, maybe useless is a bad word, but you aren’t at your best.”

“I’m always at my very best because I am the very best.”

“Yes,” He answered. “You are.”

She leapt up and embraced him. “Thank you again for the lunch. I’ll pay you back when I next go to the bank to pick up some galleons, or we can go out to lunch sometime, my treat.”

Harry returned the embrace. “Even if I choose to go to _Burger World._ ”

She moaned.

“Okay, no _Burger World_.”

“No, we can do _Burger World.”_ Hermione replied. “Just don’t expect me to have anything more than a salad.”

“Deal.” Harry glanced at a clock. “Sadly, my shift begins in five minutes. Hang in there and remember, if you need anything…”

“I’ll call you.”

“Great.” He gave her one last hug. “Take care of yourself.”

“Take care of yourself.” She waved. “And tell Luna I said hi.”

“Will do.” Harry exited the room.

Sirius’ glow was a warm yellow as he watched his godson leave.

Harry had turned into the kind of man he could be proud of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is deeply appreciated!


	5. Chapter 5

“Who is writing a book about me?”

Sirius smirked. The expression on his companion's face was enough for Sirius to find joy in agreeing to this program.

“How would she even obtain enough information about me to write a book?” Severus shouted. “More importantly, who would care enough to read it?”

“Hermione didn’t say how Skeeter got her information, but I’m sure she found some old school mates or some memories. I mean it isn’t like you to leave a pensieve around, unless you grew careless.”

Severus became white.

“As for who cares enough to read about you, I’m just as lost as you are. Perhaps her book is a perfect solution to a toilet paper shortage.”

“Everything that woman writes is trash, with the exception of her articles on you. Those were worth reading.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re as loathsome as she made you out to be during your trial."

Sirius snarled.“Nothing she wrote about me was true and you know it.”

“Now I do, but at the time it all seemed accurate.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Perhaps the part about betraying Lily and James was less than factual, but the part about you having a crush on Peter was intriguing.”

His glow was neon red. “I would never have such low standards as to fall for Peter!”

“True. After all having low standards implies you have standards to begin with.”

“At least people looked in my direction! Women weren't exactly throwing themselves at you.”

“I preferred it that way. The last thing I wanted was a clingy dunderhead.”

“In other words, every woman is a dunderhead compared to you.”

“I did not say that.”

“Then where is she?" Sirius’ glow returned to its yellow hue. "Where is this amazing woman you were holding out for?”

Severus’ glow dimmed.

“Oh I forgot, she married another man.”

Now Severus was rouge.

“I do wonder if Skeeter will write about that. I may actually read her book if your hopeless crush was discussed, if only for something to laugh about in the afterlife. There’s so little to laugh about in Purgatory after all.”

“You can only read about me if you are literate, which I highly doubt.”

“There it is! That famous Snape arrogance!” Sirius threw up his hands. “You are smarter than everyone in the room! Nobody could ever be half as competent at anything as you are!”

“I’m certainly better at spying than you are.”

“How can you make that claim?”

“I am a superior spy to you given that I actually give people the intel they want instead of prattling on about books that shouldn’t have been written."

“Don’t look at me like I’m the only reason you haven’t heard anything you deem useful,” Sirius argued. “You were engaged in this conversation too.”

Severus’ glow returned to yellow. “Just tell me what you found out about Ms. Granger.”

“First of all she’s as pissy as you are.”

“Truly?”

“Yes.”

Severus grinned. “I suppose there is hope for her yet.”

“No, being pissy isn’t progress. It’s terrible to see her acting like you. It’s…”

Severus furrowed his eyebrows.

“Never mind! Her father is sick.”

Now Severus stood at attention.

“She didn’t tell Harry what the disease was, so I don’t know the specifics of it. All I know is if we want to help make her happy we should probably help him as much as we can.”

“Sadly given the limits imposed by the afterlife and the International Statue of Wizarding Secrecy there may not be much we can do to aid him.”

“We’re dead and we’re still honoring the International Statue of Wizarding Secrecy?”

“Why wouldn’t we?”

“Because nobody around here cares.”

Severus tilted his head.

“I’m not sure how the afterlife works or what counts as justice around here, but I am certain that nobody cares about magic vs muggle.”

“No, they don’t.”

“If they don’t care about the differences between wizards and muggles, then I don’t think they are overly concerned with us following earthly rules.”

Severus hummed.

“So we have to keep all options open, even if it violates something which seemed important in life.”

Severus twisted his lips, in an attempt to prevent himself from admitting the truth in Sirius’ words.

“Now if we cure her dad we will bring her happiness and we can move onto heaven.”

“That’s too simple.”

“What do you mean?”

“Eudaimonia is more complicated than saving one person’s life.”

“How would you know?”

Severus pointed to the pile of books on the sofa. “Because I’ve read Aristotle.”

“Well, good for you,” Sirius grumbled.

“Still, it’s a better start than I thought I’d have.”

“Is that a compliment?” Sirius' glow was brighter.

“No, a three year old would have given me much more intel, but considering that I thought I’d have nothing to work with at all, I suppose I can give you a modicum of credit.”

“You are oh so gracious.”

“Do not forget it.” Severus glanced at the ground. “I suppose I should go down and pay Ms. Granger a visit.”

“Just like that?”

Severus frowned. “Yes, unlike you who gets distracted by Rita Skeeter’s latest smear campaigns, I am going to do my job.”

“I know you need to go down at some point, but wouldn’t you like a plan first?”

“Perhaps I already have one.”

“It’s the ‘perhaps’ that makes me nervous.”

Severus locked eyes with Sirius. “Unlike you, I have been in situations where I needed to think before speaking. I did quite well in them.”

“So well that you got bitten by a snake.”

“That had less to do with how I spoke and more to do with a case of being mistaken as the owner of the Elder Wand.”

“Regardless of why you died, you were speaking with Dumbledore and You Know Who, two people trying to win a war. Hermione is a little different.”

“How? She’s a person just as they were.”

“You aren’t dealing with tyrants. You’re dealing with a woman who has real feelings and just wants to be happy.”

“And I want to make her happy.”

“No, you want to make her happy while looking down upon her.”

“I won’t call her a dunderhead. Does that satisfy you?”

“Not even close,” Sirius answered.

“Then what will make you happy?” Severus demanded.

“Treat her like a human being who deserves respect, and not the means to some end. If you do that I will feel much better about you interacting with her.”

“I will not insult her or intentionally make her uncomfortable,” Severus answered. “Still, I will also keep in mind that she’s our assignment, not our new best friend.”

“She is one of my best friends.” Sirius’ voice was low.

“She is a client.”

“You know, you might have had more friends if you’d treated them like people instead of inconveniences.”

“You are more than an inconvenience, and Ms. Granger was my know-it-all student. Forgive me if I am not more enthused about interacting with either of you.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that we may fail due to your poor people skills?”

“Has it ever occurred to you that if you do not stop speaking with me, I won’t be able to descend until well past Ms. Granger’s bedtime?”

“Fine, good night. Have fun being a git. Maybe then people around here will understand that you aren’t the hero you’re made out to be.”

Without another word, Severus disappeared from sight.

***

Hermione sipped her peppermint tea as she flipped through the pages of her four hundred page book. Every few lines, she would underline a phrase or promising equation. Although her markings appeared chaotic to the average reader, to her there was a logic to the scribbles on the margins, or so she told herself.

The room warmed.

“Mrow.”

She frowned as Crookshanks pawed into the air. “Not now. We can play with the yarn later.”

The half-kneazle continued to meow.

“I said no.” Hermione returned her attention to her book. “Perhaps we can play in an hour.”

Crookshanks huffed, knowing full well that, ‘perhaps’ meant ‘I’m too nice to say no.’

Hermione took another sip of tea before leaning back further into her leather sofa. She underlined another sentence before biting the tip of the quill. These were all promising theories, but something was missing, something she could not put her finger upon.

Crookshanks let out a yowl before darting across the room. His hair was raised, making him appear more like a fur ball than any distinguishable animal. Hermione shook her head. She would never understand the antics of her feline.

Before she could bury her head back into her book, a light flickered across the room. At first it was a glimmer, but soon it grew.

Hermione set the book and the quill on her coffee table, her eyes growing wider by the second. The temperature in the room was rising, though not uncomfortably warm. Whatever was in front of her couldn’t be a ghost since they froze rooms. It seemed too real to be a hallucination. Still, knowing what it wasn’t didn’t mean she knew what it was.

As the figure took on a humanoid shape, Hermione’s heart slowed. She felt the breath leave her body as the color left her face. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind, yet only two words escaped her mouth.

“Professor Snape.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support! It is deeply appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

Severus hadn’t meditated for long on how Ms. Granger would appear. It was hard to deny that she was a woman though. Her bushy hair had been tamed into curls which framed her face. Despite her two sizes too large maroon nightshirt and baggy sweatpants, there was a hint of a woman’s figure. Still, what demanded his attention were her wide caramel eyes.

“Harry’s right, I’ve been working too hard.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

With trembling hands, she placed her book onto the table and set her quill on top of it. Then, she stood.

“Ms. Granger!”

She backed towards the hallway.

“Ms. Granger stop!”

She gulped.

“Ms. Granger.” He approached her. “I need you to listen to me.”

She darted down the hallway into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Severus scowled. Did she really think a spirit couldn’t go through a closed door?

She dove under her purple duvet. “I’ve finally gone mad. I’ve worked myself half to death and I’ve gone crazy.”

“You have not gone mad.”

She threw off the covers and screamed.

“Would you be quiet for once in your life and listen to me?”

“Go away!”

“Not until you listen to me.”

“No! You aren’t real!”

“I most certainly am real.”

“Oh Merlin, if you’re real then why are you here?” She gasped. “It’s about the book isn’t it?”

His frown deepened.

“I’m sorry Rita wrote it. I’m sure it’s nothing more than libel, but it’s already a best seller. Customers have been lining up to buy it. If I want to stay in business I have to sell it.”

“Why would I be haunting you over selling a blasted book?”

“Because you wanted to prevent it from being published, but couldn't do so because you're dead.”

“Why would a dead person care about its publication?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps you need everyone to know who you really were in order to obtain eternal rest.”

She had a point. It would make things easier if he didn’t spend his entire eternity answering twenty thousand questions about himself.

“You must need my help for something. Perhaps you want me to put Rita in a bottle.”

Now there was an idea.

“I’m sorry. I would do it if I knew where she was and I thought I could get away with it. Still, it doesn’t solve your problem. You’re going to have to haunt Rita if you want revenge.”

“Who said I was here for revenge?”

She was shaking. “Why else would you be here?”

“Because I need to help you.”

She stilled before giving him a frown which was as dour as his own. “You think I need to change my life somehow.”

“I suppose that’s one way of putting it.”

“Is this the part you show me the past, present, and then a future where everyone is happier without me?”

“Don’t be daft. Those types of hauntings do not occur outside of Christmas.”

“Good.” She sat up straighter. “I have no interest in seeing everyone cheering over my grave.”

“Nobody will be cheering if you die.”

“How do you know?”

“Because that isn’t how heaven works.”

She lowered the sheets, exposing the black satin sheets. “So you made it to heaven?”

“No, not quite,” his glow diminished. "I only made it to Purgatory." 

“That’s awful.” She lowered her head. “After everything you’ve sacrificed you deserve some peace.”

“I will have some peace soon enough if you listen to me.”

She bit her lower lip.

“It is a long and complicated story, but in short, Dante was correct in asserting there are three levels of the afterlife: heaven, Purgatory, and hell,” he began.

“Wait, things are just like _The Divine Comedy_?”

“Somewhat, only Purgatory has an overcrowding problem. Thus they’ve had to get…creative with their punishments.”

“I thought Purgatory had less to do with punishments and more to do with purgation.”

“Trust me, the new process has far more to do with punishment.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in her voice, or deception in her eyes.

He snarled. “Don’t pity me.”

“I don’t pity you,” she replied. “I just wish the good you’ve done would finally be acknowledged.”

“In other words, you pity me.”

“No, I just wish people could see you as a good person who spent his life repenting of some very terrible mistakes.”

He looked at her as if she had just announced that she was a Quidditch star.

“I wish you’d been able to make it to heaven.” She threw herself back into her pillow. “Assuming you even exist.”

“I am as real as you are.”

“Or you could be the consequence of me not heating up my TV dinner properly or the stress of the last few weeks. Perhaps I’m having a psychotic break.”

Severus loomed over her. “Tell me to lift your pillow.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

She shrugged. “Fine, lift my pillow.”

Severus grabbed the pillow from under her. He expected to feel the smooth of the satin. Instead, he felt nothing. Never in his life did he think he’d be nostalgic for the feel of a pillow. Touch was just another thing he’d taken for granted in the land of the living.

“How are you doing that?” She whispered.

“I can life whatever you want me to lift.”

“What if I do not want you to lift something?”

“Then I cannot do so.”

“Why?”

“I do not know, but it is one of the rule I must abide by in order to complete my mission.”

She took the pillow from him. “What would that mission be?”

“I need to help you find a sense of eudaimonia.”

She cocked her head. “You want me to learn more about Ancient Greek philosophy?”

“Oh thank Merlin you are somewhat aware of what eudaimonia is,” he replied. “I thought I’d have to spend all night explaining it to you.”

“Of course I know what it is. I took four philosophy classes at university.”

“I took five.”

“You did?”

“Yes, I needed the credits.”

“Oh.”

“That being said, you are in desperate need of eudaimonia, and I need to help you find it so I can move onto heaven and avoid a century in Purgatory.”

“So you aren’t in Purgatory, but you aren’t quite in heaven?”

“And here I thought the title of ‘brightest witch of her age’ was in jeopardy.”

She glared at him. “I understand perfectly well what is going on.”

“Great,” he answered. “Now you need to tell me what you think will give you a sense of eudaimonia so I can go about helping you obtain it.”

She grinned and put the pillow down. “I know exactly what will bring me eudaimonia.”

“What?”

She lay down and threw the blankets over her head. “Sleep.”

His glow became red.

“It’s obvious that I feel guilty about profiting off of your death and I have been working too hard lately. My mind is playing tricks upon me. After some sleep I will feel refreshed and ready to face my issues head on.”

Severus picked the pillow up from under her head. She grabbed it and returned it to its place.

“Now do you believe I’m real?”

“I believe my magic is misfiring.”

“You are quite healthy, your magic is perfectly fine, and talking to a spirit.”

“I am overtired and spending too much time meditating upon death and my old professors.”

“What is it going to take to convince you that I am real?”

Hermione smirked. “You let me go to sleep.”

“Not until you tell me what will help you find eudaimonia.”

“I just told you: sleep is going to give me eudaimonia.”

“We both know that sleep is only a temporary pleasure which has little to do with an overall sense of one’s well-being.”

“There is a hierarchy of needs, the bottom of which is physical. Unless I get some sleep I won’t be able to meet any of my other needs.”

“You can sleep as much as you want once I enter into paradise.”

“How long do you have until you need to go to heaven?”

“I do not know. Since eudaimonia takes time to develop I’d imagine the afterlife is willing to accommodate a reasonable time frame.”

“Yes,” she yawned. “You can wait until tomorrow.”

Severus snarled and grabbed the sheets. No matter how hard he tried to grip them, his hands went right through them.

She smirked. “I knew you were just an illusion.”

He grabbed her pillow and threw it across the room. Eyes aflame, she pulled out her wand and snapped, “accio pillow.”

The pillow went through him. “Stop being a stubborn child and listen to what I’m saying!”

“You need to go now!” Hermione grabbed her pillow. 

“Not until you tell me what you need to have an overall sense of well-being, and say something other than sleep!”

“I need,” Hermione scratched the bed. “I need time to think this through.”

“What is there to think through? I am real and ready to aid in your quest for eudaimonia. Tell me how to give it to you so we can move on with our lives, or in my case, afterlife.”

“First of all, I’m not on a quest for anything. Second of all, if you really are a spirit, you can meet me in my office at noon tomorrow.”

“I can only appear in your house.”

“Why?”

“The rules demand it.”

“Who makes the rules?”

“The Trinity.”

“The Trinity?”

“Yes. They are somewhat different than one would expect, but they seem to be the ones in charge.”

Hermione’s face lost what little color it had. “They’re real then?”

“Yes.”

She took a shaky breath. “I knew I should’ve paid more attention in Sunday school.”

“The impression I’ve gotten from the afterlife is that reading Dante is more conducive to understanding what is going on than listening to some priest every Sunday.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“In the meantime, how do I prove I exist?”

Hermione scratched the sheets. “Come into my bedroom at eight tomorrow night.” 

“Fine.”

“Also, be ready to bring Harry some closure. If you can see me….”

“Actually you will need to be alone.”

“Why?”

“Because you are the only one who will be able to see me.”

“Let me guess, the rules.”

“Yes.”

“Fine,” she replied. “Be in my bedroom at eight tomorrow night. We can talk then about eudaimonia then.”

“Very well.”

With that he vanished, leaving a fatigued and baffled Hermione in his wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

“I’m impressed.” Sirius doubled over in laughter. “You’ve made great strides in picking up women since your time on earth!”

Severus pursed his lips together.

“I didn’t think any woman would ever invite you back to her house, much less her bedroom.”

He kept his mouth quiet.

“I worry for Hermione though. She’s lowered her standards. Then again,” his eyes were agleam. “You may have picked up on a new strategy. Haunt someone until they agree to have dinner with you! Genius!”

Severus glowed a dull red as Sirius resumed laughing.

“No, this could work for you. I really think it could. If you’re lucky with this strategy maybe in heaven an angel won’t turn green when you ask her out for a joyride on the clouds. Oh wait!” Sirius chuckled. “You couldn’t ride a motorcycle if your life depended on it! Guess that angel will just have to see me if she wants some fun.”

“If you are quite done you can sit down and shut up while I consider a strategy for proving my existence to Hermione.”

Sirius’ humor evaporated. “We do need to think of something.”

“No, you need to read Aristotle while I think of a solution to this problem.”

“First of all, this is our mission. I’m just as much a part of this as you are.”

“There is no need to remind me of that sad fact.”

“I want to do something to help.”

“And here I thought you’d enjoy a chance to relax.”

“Not if it means I’m sitting and staring at a wall.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“I sat for years in a cage, and then I spent the last year of my life in a mansion staring at a wall.” Sirius stretched. “I want to do something, not just spend more time sitting.”

“I thought you liked getting out of work.”

“When I was younger, I thought I would love a life of relaxation, but after doing nothing for so long I want to do more than sit in a room. I need to spy or ride a motorcycle, or pester St. Pete into letting me past the pearly gates. Anything other than sitting and staring at a wall all day works for me.”

Severus’ glow flickered. Truth be told, he’d never considered all the years Sirius had been penned up like a caged animal in Azkaban. For someone like him, it must have been torture. Although Severus wouldn’t say that Black didn’t deserve some kind of punishment for being such an arse, he couldn’t help but have a spark of sympathy for the dog. 

“Have you tried reading Aristotle to pass the time? It will be easier for you to help Hermione find eudaimonia if you know what it is.”

“I tried, but I couldn’t get past the part about every art and every inquiry leading to happiness.”

“That’s the first page.”

“I know, but it was so dry I put it down. Couldn’t Aristotle have tried to be more entertaining?”

“In his defense, there are reports that he was a fascinating teacher. Sadly, we only have the lecture notes taken by his students, hence the reason his writing is so dry.”

“Great.” Sirius groaned. “I never took notes in class, but now I have to read them.”

“You wanted something to do, and I’ve suggested something to do. You should stop complaining and start reading.”

“Couldn’t they have given us something less boring to read?”

“Considering that we’re outside of Purgatory, I do not think they would want us to read adventure novels."

"I know, but anything is more pleasant than Aristotle."

"Nobody said Purgatory was supposed to be pleasant.”

“I’m not in Purgatory though. I’m in the program to avoid Purgatory.”

“We are still supposed to be undergoing some sort of purification, at least in theory.”

Sirius slumped onto the couch.

Severus scanned the title of the books beside Sirius. “If you want something more entertaining, you can try reading Plato’s _Republic_.”

“I tried that too, but I can’t keep track of everyone’s names.”

Severus frowned. “Then I suppose you could try something simpler like _The Euthyphro._ There are only two characters. Even a simpleton like you should be able to keep track of them.”

“Simpleton! I was wondering when you’d use a term like that.”

“I will use much more colorful terms if you do not stop talking and start reading.”

Sirius snarled before shifting through the books. From the bottom of the pile he pulled out _The Euthyphro_.

Severus paced the room as his mind returned to his meeting with Hermione.

How could the antics with the pillow not have worked? She felt it be snatched from under her head, and watched it fly across the room. Of all people, she should’ve known how unlikely it is that magic misfires in such a benign manner Why was lifting the pillow not enough?

Perhaps he wasn’t thinking enough like Granger. What would be proof enough for a know-it-all like Ms. Granger? After all, she had interacted with ghosts, so she knew there were things such as spirits existed. Still, she may not believe in an afterlife, which complicated matters.

Sometimes in these situations, people appealed to those at the top. He could plead with the Trinity to appear to her, yet it was unlikely they would want to get involved. In fact, they may tack on twenty more purgatory years for distracting them from their busy tasks of judging souls and running the universe.

“I think I have a solution to your problem.”

Severus stopped and rolled his eyes.

“You should tell her something only I would know," Sirius continued.

“Excuse me?”

“Tell her something only I would know.”

“Why would I tell her anything about you?”

“Think about it: if you tell her something only you would know then she will believe its her imagination. If you tell her something only I would know it lends credibility to the idea that we are in the afterlife together.”

“She’ll think I escaped from hell, not Purgatory.”

“That isn’t too far from the truth.”

“True.”

Sirius set the book beside him on the couch. “Do you want to hear something only I would know?”

“Fine, what do only you know about Granger?”

“First, I’ll tell you some things only she and her close friends know. For a time I was in hiding on Martinique,” his glow intensified. “The sand was so white, and the people were some of the most attractive on earth. More than one night was spent wildly flirting with them and dancing until the sun came up.”

Severus turned green. “I do not want to hear about your time in the tropics, nor does Ms. Granger.”

“Fine, but I returned in the middle of Harry’s fourth year and hid in a cave near Hogwarts. Once again, I was resigned to doing nothing, but I was willing to do it out of love for my godson.”

“You were near Hogwarts for at least part of Potter’s fourth year?”

He grinned. “You didn’t know that, did you?”

“I had no idea.”

“Great, so you also wouldn’t know that Hermione has a deep fear of riding motorcycles.”

“She does?”

“Yes. I told her about my love of riding once when we were alone at 12 Grimmauld Place. She was as white as Paraclete the entire time. When I finished, she looked at me and said, ‘you may ride as much as you like. I will stand in the driveway and wave.’”

“Those were her exact words?”

He nodded. “I remember them quite vividly. It’s easy what you remember when you’re forced to relive your life every day.”

“You know,” Severus’ glow brightened. “You may not be as much of a simpleton as I initially believed.”

Sirius grinned. “Is that a compliment?”

“By no means was it one. I had simply given up hope of you having any degree of intelligence when you couldn’t finish the first page of _Nicomachean Ethics._ ”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t understand it. It's just too boring.”

“I found the style refreshing. I like how straightforward he is.”

“You like people who sound intelligent.”

“That does go far with me yes.”

“Maybe, but you also don’t care if the intelligent person is right or behaving ethically.”

“That is not true.”

“How do you explain joining the Death Eaters?” Sirius asked.

“There was more to my joining them than their alleged intelligence. They impressed me in other ways.”

“What impresses you about a person?”

“To begin with, they do not act like you.”

Sirius smirked. “Touché.”

“They must also posses some sense, which you often lack," Severus continued.

“I possess more sense than you think.”

“Your life story suggests otherwise.”

“I just helped you prove your existence to Hermione. You should give me at least a little credit for that.”

“Perhaps you have milliliter of sense, which I will admit is more than I ever suspected you possessed.”

Sirius picked up the book. “You’re welcome.”

Severus rolled his eyes. Then he looked at the wall, hoping that Sirius’ plan was crazy enough to work.

Then again, if it did not work he could throw it in Sirius’ face.

Severus’ glow became a warm yellow. Either way he would win, which alone was enough to make him look forward to his next meeting with Ms. Granger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It really keeps me going!


	8. Chapter 8

Sleep eluded Hermione.

She could still see Professor Snape's closed silver casket. It was both a curse and a blessing. On the one hand she would have liked her last memory of Severus to be less bloody, but on the other she didn't have to gaze upon the gaping wound in his neck. It may have been for the best to keep the casket closed.

A closed casket also protected the body from any potential protesters. Although Harry pleaded Professor Snape's case and managed to get him exonerated, skepticism abounded. Several nasty opinion pieces ran denouncing his crimes and rumors abounded that Harry only defended him because he was Professor Snape’s illegitimate child. After the fist person who dared tell that lie to Harry’s face was hexed, the whispers quieted.

How many of Professor Snape’s detractors had Rita spoken to in order to write her book? Harry had never mentioned an interview with her, so he was more than likely not a source. It was doubtful she had looked at Professor Snape’s memories either. Even in death he could not obtain peace or understanding.

Yet Hermione was all too eager to profit off of Rita’s book.

After a few hours of restless sleep, she decided that research into her situation was in order. The logical place to start would be a book on delusional disorders. If she was going insane from the guilt of Professor Snape’s death she wanted to know what to expect before her sanity disappeared.

Wand lit, she entered her sitting room and scanned two of her four bookshelves for any book on abnormal psychology. Over half the rows were double stacked, meaning she needed to set some books onto the floor just to get a better glimpse of the titles she sought. 

On the third row of the second bookshelf, she grabbed a book to put on the floor. Yet she paused. The book’s cover was a stenciled illustration of humanoid trees being plucked by vultures with human heads. It had nothing to do with psychology, yet it spoke to her problem more than she cared to admit.

If she wanted to know about the afterlife, why not start with Dante’s _Divine Comedy_?

As she clung to the book, she considered the possibility that Severus had run into trouble during his time in the afterlife. Perhaps the angels had been just as merciless in their assessment of him as human beings had been. If Purgatory existed and he was reaching out to her to help him avoid being trapped there, didn’t he deserve her aid?

Hermione frowned. This whole thing was ridiculous. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she needed to understand what Severus could be going through, if only to silence the lingering notion that this may not be just another dream.

Releasing a breath, she decided to read. At the very least, it could make her drowsy and give her some much needed sleep.

***

The sun peeked through the windows of her apartment, illuminating the shine of the leather couch. Still, her entire attention was on the souls sitting on the shores of Purgatory, awaiting entry so they could fulfill their centuries long sentences.

Down the hallway, her alarm rang. She set the book and shook her head. This was madness. If anyone deserved to be in heaven, it was Severus Snape.

She trudged down the hallway, her mind swimming with images of divine punishments and souls.

Hermione needed to consult an expert on matters such as this.

***

“Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

Luna entered into Hermione’s office. “It was no trouble at all. I was going to be here anyway. Harry wanted a copy of _Severus Snape: Saint or Scoundrel?_ We wouldn’t dream of buying it from anywhere else.”

“Yes,” Hermione drawled. “About that book. There may be a few inaccuracies.”

“Oh I know the whole thing is rubbish,” Luna closed the door behind her and put a hand on her swollen stomach. “Harry only wanted to know what kind of lies Rita was telling so he could defend Severus if he needed to.”

“I know, and I shouldn’t be selling it.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Why not? It’s a best seller.”

“Yes, but I may have been so overeager to sell it that I didn’t consider what I was doing to Professor Snape's reputation.”

“He’s dead, so his reputation may not matter to him, unless you are worried about a harpy attacking you.”

“I actually have been thinking about harpies quite a bit lately.”

Luna held up her hand. “Say no more. I have a harpy repellent at home I can loan you. If you need me to I can brew some for both of us.”

Hermione sat at her desk. “I don’t need a harpy repellent.”

“You might if you feel what you’re doing is unjust, although I think they’d be more interested in attacked Rita. Guilt alone is a good harpy repellent.”

“I don’t need to know about harpies.” Hermione gestured towards the wooden chair across from her. “Though I do need your help with another type of creature.”

Luna’s eyes lit up.

“What do you know about spirits?”

Luna sat, doing her best to find a comfortable position despite her enlarged abdomen. “What kind of spirit?”

“The kind that belongs in the afterlife but for some reason can't make it to heaven.”

"Like a ghost?"

"No, they aren't tied to the earth, but they can't make it into heaven either. They're stuck in Purgatory, only not really."

"Oh, they must've missed the train."

"What train?"

“Harry said there’s some type of train that takes one to the afterlife, they must have missed it.”

“I know he said that, but let's say one didn't miss the train but got off at the wrong stop. Do you know about that kind of spirit?”

“I don’t know," Luna admitted. "I never took a theology class, though you might have.”

“Actually I replaced my theology credit with another philosophy one.”

“Oh.” Luna tapped her finger on her belly. “Well, I’m sure you could find some books on it.”

“Perhaps, but you know all about magical creatures. I was hoping you could tell me everything you know about spirits that go to the afterlife.”

Luna hummed. “I know they don’t work like ghosts.”

“How are they different?”

“There are only rumors, but I hear they make the room warmer.”

Hermione remembered the warmth of the room despite thinking she needed to add more wood to the fireplace.

“They have a different glow to them as well. They aren’t always blue, but can change colors based on their emotions.. Still, spirits have found the afterlife. They want to stay there, and they have no reason to return to earth.”

“What if the Trinity wants them to return to earth?”

Luna cocked her head. “The Trinity?”

“Yes, the Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier.”

“Oh that Trinity.”

“Yes, the Christian one.”

“Why would God want spirits back on earth?”

“I don’t know, but let’s just say that for some reason, the Trinity wants spirits to return to earth to accomplish some mission. Would that be out of the realm of possibility?”

“It could. There are accounts of it happening like in _The Christmas Carol.”_

“I’m pretty sure that’s fiction.”

“It may have been based on true events though.”

Hermione opened her mouth, only to close it. At this juncture, logic had to be discarded in favor of any explanation which could enlighten her on her predicament.

“I suppose if they return to earth there must be a good reason for it," Luna concluded. 

“What would that be?”

“I don’t know. It may depend on the spirit.”

“Should we help the spirit?”

“Probably. We should at the very least stay out of its way and let it do what it needs to do.”

“Can it have a peaceful afterlife once it accomplishes its mission?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“A spirit would not want anything bad, would it? It wouldn’t be after revenge for some wrong.”

“I think you should help your spirit accomplish whatever it wants to do.”

“What?” Hermione forced herself to laugh. “I don’t have a spirit. I’ve never even seen a spirit.”

“Yes, you have seen a spirit, and it’s asking you to do something.”

“No, no spirit is asking me for anything. I was only asking because I read Dante’s _The Divine Comedy._ Since you know about magical creatures, I thought you might know about spirits.”

“I knew the second I walked in that you’d had a magical creature experience. It wasn’t until you began asking about spirits when I put the pieces together.”

“There is not spirit! I just wanted to ask just because I was reading about them.”

“You need to help Professor Snape find peace.”

“No, Severus Snape is at peace.”

“Obviously not if he’s visiting you.”

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. “I am not being visited by Professor Snape’s ghost.”

“Spirit. He’s a spirit.”

“Yes, he’s a spirit in the afterlife. He is not on earth.”

“No, he’s visiting you for help in accomplishing some task.”

Hermione glared at Luna.

“It’s okay to admit it. I think it’s nice that he’s visiting you.”

“Professor Snape is not visiting me, but in a hypothetical world where he is, what should I do?”

“Listen and do what he says.”

“Then he’ll depart and I can live my life.”

“Maybe, though it might be more complicated than that.”

“How?”

Luna lowered her voice. “Spirits are weirder than any creature I’ve ever encountered. They can’t be reasoned with, and they can’t be deterred from their goals. It’s best just to listen to them and appease them however you can.”

“And if you just want the spirit to depart?”

“They’ll find a way to come back until you do what they believe you were decreed to do.”

Hermione slumped in hr chair.

“Make Professor Snape a friendly spirit. You may finally find peace.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Luna stood. “You know exactly what I mean.”

“No, because I am very much at peace," Hermione argued. 

“Then why are you seeing people from the afterlife?”

“I’m not seeing anyone from the afterlife!”

“Then why are you asking about spirits?”

“I told you, I’ve been reading too much Dante.”

“Is that the case, or are you in such turmoil you refuse to believe you could ever find peace, even from on high?”

Before Hermione could answer, Luna breezed out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9

Heaven had better be worth this wait.

Standing on the edge of Ms. Granger’s bed, Severus glanced over at the clock on the wall. Four minutes after eight. He wondered if he should search the apartment for her and give her a proper haunting for his troubles. Then he considered that if she found him in another room, she may believe he was a figment of his imagination, making his already difficult job even more so. Best to sit tight and hope she came at some point.

Footsteps echoed from down the hallway. Severus crossed his arms over his chest and scowled.

“You’re late, Ms. Granger.”

She rubbed her eyes.

“I would appreciate it if you were punctual in the future.”

She blinked.

“Now let’s get down to the business of why I’m here.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” She blinked.

“I need to help you…”

She took a step backwards.

“Before you flee again, I ask you to hear me out.”

She stopped.

“I know you are having difficulty believing that I am real, so I will offer you a bit of proof of my existence,” Severus answered. “Before I returned, I spoke with Sirius Black.”

Her eyes were wider than a bludger. “You saw Sirius?”

“Against my will, yes. He has a message for you.”

“Does he want to haunt me now too?”

“No, but he does need you to understand that I’m real.”

“Why?”

“Because we are working on a project together which involves you.”

Hermione closed her eyes and reopened them.

Severus rolled his eyes. “I’m still here.”

“I can see that.”

“Do you want to hear his message or not?”

She gave him a small nod.

“He says he was hiding on Martinique at one point after escaping Azkaban, and then he traveled to some cave outside of Hogwarts.”

Her eyes flickered, as if to confirm the account.

“Sirius also told me you have a deathly fear of motorcycles. He said that he wanted to take you on a motorcycle ride, but you said you would only watch from the driveway and wave at him.”

Her voice was barely audible. “Oh my God.”

“You did say that, did you not?”

“Yes, but nobody else was around, not even you.”

“Then it would imply that I have spoken with him, would it not?”

She shook. “Yes, it would.”

“I’ll bet you could not imagine me speaking with him either,” he continued.

“You might if you were looked in hell with him.”

“That is not the case,” his voice was lower, “though that feels like that most days.”

“No, I just can’t believe you're here and that you've been speaking with Sirius.”

“If you are honest with yourself, you’d know that this story is too fantastical to be a figment of your imagination.”

“You’re right,” she walked to the bed. “I never would’ve dreamed up such an afterlife for you.”

“Then there is a good chance this is real,” he replied.

She sat beside him on the bed. “Yes, it would appear that I am being haunted by a spirit.”

“I prefer the term visited by a spirit considering that I have no intention of frightening you.”

“Fine, you’re visiting me.”

His glow softened.

“I’m so sorry you’re here though.”

He quirked an eyebrow.

“I had hoped you’d found some peace in the afterlife. Once you got on the train to depart for the afterlife I thought you wouldn’t look back.”

“What train?”

“Harry said there was a train which took one to the afterlife.”

“Perhaps for some there is a train, but in my case I only appeared in a boardroom and went straight to trial.”

“Have you seen anyone other than Sirius?”

“I have not seen anyone you would know.”

“Did you see,” Ms. Granger gulped. “Lily?”

Severus’ glow dimmed. “Why do you think I would see Lily?”

“Harry showed us the memories of you two together.”

“What did you just say?”

“Harry showed us the memories of you and her.”

“Who is us?”

“In private he showed Ron and me.”

“What does ‘in private’ mean? Did he show anyone else the memories?”

“When it was time for your trial,” Ms. Granger glanced away. “He showed the court your memories. It was picked up by the media.”

Severus turned red. “Everyone saw them?”

“Yes.”

His glow flared. It was as orange as that of a fire, and his eyes were as black as two pieces of coal. “He showed my most personal memories to the entire Wizarding World?”

Hermione leapt off the bed.

“What would possess Potter to do that?”

“He wanted to clear your name.”

“I didn’t care about that!” Severus shouted. “I would have much preferred my privacy!”

“We didn’t think you’d come back!” Ms. Granger argued.

The spirit was inflamed. “Potter had no right! He had no right to make my personal life public!”

Ms. Granger fled the room as the room temperature skyrocketed.

Severus’ gritted his teeth together. Potter was just as terrible as his father! He should be haunting Potter, not helping one of his best friends! His reputation had been ruined! Everyone would think he was some lovesick, pathetic puppy now! His whole life was on display! He would never find peace, unless there was a prohibition against spreading rumors in heaven!

Speaking of heaven, he was further away from it then when he’d agreed to take this mission.

His glow returned to its normal hue. Ms. Granger had vanished.

He groaned and glided out of the room.

“Ms. Granger?”

No answer.

Once he reached the sitting room he glanced around. It took him a few moments, but he found a trembling under bundle of blankets. “Ms. Granger, I mean you no harm.”

She squeaked.

“Ms. Granger,” he grabbed the blankets, but his hand went right through them. “I am not going to hurt you.”

She squeaked.

“Please, say something to me.”

Her muffled voice replied. “I wasn’t trying to upset you.”

“I know you were not, and I appreciate you warning me about it. At least I know what they will ask in heaven, assuming I ever get there.”

“You’ll get there.”

He slumped onto her couch. “If I continue to have eruptions like that it is doubtful I will ever leave this program, much less Purgatory.”

“After everything good you’ve done, you deserve some peace. Surely God sees that.” She poked her head out from under the blankets.

“I don’t know what the Trinity sees anymore,” he confessed. “Every time I think I have them figured out the Almighty does something against my expectations. I think the Trinity prefers to keep everyone on their toes.”

“What kinds of things do they do?”

“Let’s just say there are a few judgment calls they’ve made which cause me to question their sanity.”

“They’re unjust if they do not allow you into heaven at some point.” She gave him a small smile.

“They put me into a Pilot Purgatory Program anyway. Given all I’ve done I suppose getting time off a century long Purgatory sentence is more than I deserve,” he replied.

“You mentioned that you needed my help.”

“Yes,” he replied. “I need to give you a sense of eudaimonia.”

Ms. Granger’s grin widened. “That should be easy enough given that I am content with my life, or as content as I’ve ever been.”

“Apparently you are not content or I wouldn’t be here.”

“I am fine except.” Ms. Granger allowed the blanket to fall onto her lap. “My father is deathly ill. If you could cure him that would be amazing.”

“Sadly I do not have any power to go anywhere else on earth except in this apartment or interact with anyone except for you.”

“I suppose that rules out bringing him here then.”

“Yes, which may be for the best since I do not have healing powers either, at least not as far as I know.”

“Then perhaps you could help me find a cure for him.”

“What is ailing him?”

“He just had his second heart attack.”

“That is unfortunate.”

“It is.” Ms. Granger took a shaky breath. “Which is why I’m creating a potion which will strengthen the heart after an attack. It could give him some strength back at the very least.”

“It could,” Severus hummed.

“If we could help him and others like him it would give me a sense of peace, which may be enough to get you into heaven,” Ms. Granger replied.

“It might be,” there was a hint of a grin on his face.

“Except,” Ms. Granger swallowed. “Do you want credit for the project?”

“Heaven should be enough of a reward, though if you name your potion after me that would be much appreciated.”

Ms. Granger extended her hand. “Then it’s a deal.”

Severus attempted to shake her hand, but his went right through hers.

“I forgot about the touch thing,” Ms. Granger muttered.

“If you tell me to touch your hand I can do so.”

“No,” she pointed to a purple pillow on the end of the sofa. “Just grab that pillow and allow me to shake it.”

He frowned before obeying her. She shook the pillow and chuckled.

“I must say that is the oddest handshake I have ever had,” he admitted.

“It is for me too,” Ms. Granger was still grinning. “Still, I would like you to pick up my notes and sort through them. Feel free to pick up any book you would like too.”

“Please hand them over and I will do as you say, Ms. Granger.”

“You should call me Hermione.”

“I hardly think that would be appropriate.”

“Why not? We aren’t student and professor anymore, and we’re partners on a project. That would make us equals, so we should use each other’s names.”

He examined her once more. Underneath her baggy t-shirt and sweat pants was a woman’s figure. Her expression was not that of a naive girl, but of a woman who had been forced to grown up before her time. Still, he couldn't let go of the student she had once been.

"I would still prefer to call you Ms. Granger."

"I will respect that then."

“I would prefer to be called Mister Snape.”

“Why?”

“Because this situation is odd for me, and I do not want my name to be misused.”

“I suppose I can understand that.” She slipped off the couch and strolled towards her kitchen table.

His eyes fell upon the dying embers in her fireplace. “You may want to rekindle the fire. It will be getting cold soon.”

She collected the parchments from atop the table. “Actually it’s quite warm with you in the room. I don’t want to waste firewood on a warming room.”

Severus returned the pillow to its proper place. “Suit yourself.”

“Here are a few of my notes,” she walked in carrying five rolls of parchment. “I have more, but I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Trust me, you won’t overwhelm me,” Severus answered. “After all, I have at least a century to work this out.”

Hermione grinned. “I suppose you do.”

Severus furrowed his eyebrows, hoping it would take much less than a century to resolve Ms. Granger's issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	10. Chapter 10

“My plan worked, didn't it?”

If Severus had a wand and wasn’t staring down a century long purgatory sentence, he would hex that smirk off of Sirius’ face.

“Ha!” Sirius shut his book. “I was right.”

Severus scowled.

“You have to admit I’m right now, which must kill you,” Sirius paused. "At least it would if you weren't already dead."

“Well, the afterlife is the place for miracles. I was bound to see one at some point.”

Sirius’ glow brightened. “It must be horrible to admit that someone other than you is competent.”

“I am more than capable of admitting someone is competent. You are usually less than capable of any task.”

“So now I’m only usually incompetent instead of always.”

“Resume reading your book!”

“Why would I stop talking when the conversation is going so well?”

“Because I need to think of a formula to strengthen a heart, and I can’t do that with you yammering away.”

“Is Hermione’s dad’s heart bad?”

“If you were a competent spy you would know the answer to that.”

“She didn’t mention anything about his heart when I was watching her.”

“If you’d been able to read between the lines you would probably have figured it out.”

“Oh because if you were spying on Hermione you’d know everything about her in five minutes, wouldn’t you?”

“I would know more than you do.”

“I’m a good spy.”

“That is debatable. You have yet to prove yourself a good spy”

“You can’t prove I’m a bad spy though.”

“Sirius, just read _The Euthyphro_ so I can think.”

“I already finished it.”

“So the words weren’t too big for you?”

Sirius frowned. “No.”

“Then why do you look so confused?” Severus smirked.

“Because I don’t think I have any clue what piety is now. Socrates destroyed any definition Euthyphro offered.”

“An unfortunate aspect of reading a Socratic dialogue is that you are rarely left with a concrete answer.”

“I don’t know why I read it. It didn’t tell me anything about eudaimonia, though it did teach me that Socrates likes to annoy people with questions.”

“He always was a little too much like Ms. Granger for my liking.”

Sirius frowned. “You don’t like anybody, do you?”

“I like Socrates just fine. He is even more enjoyable when you don’t have someone babbling about him,” Severus replied.

Sirius’ glow became a dim red.

“Now please be silent so I can think of a solution to Ms. Granger’s problem. Then we can both leave and never interact with each other again.”

“Fine,” Sirius shifted through the stack of books. “Do you have any other ideas for a simple Plato play?”

“You can read _The Trial and Death of Socrates._ ”

“Isn’t that a bit of a spoiler though? I would prefer not to know the whole story of his life, especially how it ended.”

“If you care more about philosophy than you do about creating a narrative then it’s fine to read _The Trial_ first.”

“I care about having something to do,” Sirius muttered before searching through the books for the title.

Severus paced from one end of the room to the other. Ms. Granger’s notes had been more detailed than he’d expected. It was only a pity she had fallen asleep in an armchair before he could finish reading them. Tomorrow night would be dedicated to finishing them.

“Hello again.”

Sirius startled as Severus stopped.

“Sorry,” Dismas gave them a soft smile. “I suppose I should have knocked before coming in. I’ll try to remember that in the future.”

“No, you are fine,” Severus relaxed.

"Yes, but you tow look busy, and I didn't want to interrupt anything."

“You are not interrupting a thing. I was only meditating upon a problem.”

“What would that be?”

“This mission is too simple,” Severus replied. “All Ms. Granger needs to do is cure her father and she will be content with life. I fail to see how two souls in Purgatory are needed for this task.”

Dismas turned to Sirius. “Do you think all Hermione needs is to be cured”

Sirius shrugged. “If it is then I won’t complain. Shaving a few centuries off Purgatory and reading some Greek philosophy isn’t the worst thing that could happen to me.”

“Do you enjoy reading Greek philosophy?”

“I do,” Sirius’ glow intensified. “ _The Euthyphro_ was more interesting than I thought it would be.”

Severus rolled his eyes. Either Sirius was a bigger teacher’s pet than he remembered, or he thought feigning an interest in philosophy would shave off even more time.

“I would continue read Plato, and try to work your way up to _Nicomachean Ethics_. It really is the book that will make your mission the clearest.”

“I will once I read about Socrates’ trial,” Sirius replied. “Unless I get distracted by something more interesting like _The Gorgias_.”

“I’ll let you read then.” Dismas turned to Severus. “Can I speak with you outside?”

Sirius’ eyes grew. “He gets to go outside?”

“For a moment, yes.”

“He’s isn’t going to the pearly gates, is he?”

“No, we’ll be just outside.”

“Can I step outside for a second too?”

“No, in a few hours Ms. Granger will be awake, meaning you have more spying to do.”

Sirius groaned before picking his book back up.

Dismas held out his hand to Severus. “Would you mind coming with me?”

Severus stared at his hand. What possible reason could Dismas have for wanting to go outside with him? There wasn’t much to report, other than he was gaining Ms. Granger’s trust.

The memory of the saint warning him about wrath popped into his mind.

Severus’ glow pulsated. Dismas must know about the flare up! Severus may have just jeopardized his chance at a happy afterlife because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check!

Would he ever not have a mistake held against him?

“Are you coming?”

He took the saint’s hand. Without a sound they appeared upon the clouds.

Severus stabilized his glow. “What did you need to speak with me about?”

“Anything you’d like,” Dismas flicked his wrist. A nearby cloud twirled until it took on the shape of a chair. “I just thought you would want a debriefing.”

Yep, he knew.

“Saint Peter is going to speak with Sirius about being down on earth again, but I thought you might like someone to talk to so you could work through your emotions about being on the surface again,” Dismas took a seat.

“It went about as well as could be expected.” Severus’ eyes fell on the cloud chair.

“Sorry again, for being so rude. Would you like a chair of your own?”

Severus nodded.

Dismas waved his hand, creating another cloud chair. “I can show you how to make one for yourself later."

“I would like that.”

There was silence for a moment.

“I’m sorry," Severus began.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Most spirits don’t know they can create shapes out of clouds.”

“No, I mean I flared up at Ms. Granger.”

Dismas cocked his head.

“I know it was wrong and I displayed wrath. It was a mistake.”

“It’s good for you to acknowledge that anger can get out of control. That's some progress right there.”

Severus knelt before him. “I know wrath is a sin and…”

Dismas became orange. “Stand up! I am not a member of the Trinity!”

Severus leapt and collapsed on the ground.

“First of all,” Dismas’ voice was softer. “I’m not the dark lord. I have no intention of beating you if you make a mistake.”

Severus kept his eyes on the saint.

“Second of all, flare ups happen, even in heaven.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Granted, in heaven, flare ups are rare given that we usually don’t have any unpleasant emotion which would necessitate them. In Purgatory they are common, though, and are part of the process of purgation.”

“How does anger help with purgation?”

“You have to work through certain emotions. Many of them are intense. There is no sin in feeling them though, and if handled properly they can lead to spiritual growth.”

“I still should not have become as angry as I did with Ms. Granger.”

“Did you reconcile with her?”

“Yes.”

“Is she afraid of you?”

“I do not believe she is.”

“Then it’s a nonissue.”

“I won’t get any additional Purgatory time for it?”

“No,” Dismas’ glow softened. “Flare ups are normal. As long as nobody was injured there is no reason to think twice about it.”

Severus’ glow returned to its yellow hue.

“Out of curiosity though, why did you have a flare up?”

“Ms. Granger told me someone had published a book on me which was full of false accusations and outright slander.”

Dismas burst out laughing.

Severus pursed his lips.

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you.” Dismas calmed himself. “I’m laughing because I’ve only had two flare ups; once during St. Mark’s trial and another during St. Matthew’s.”

Severus’ lips curled up. “Because they said you’d insulted Jesus upon the cross.”

“Exactly. They may have both been straight shots, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to let them know exactly how I felt.”

Severus chuckled before sitting down.

“Now, you mentioned your mission being too simple.”

“Indeed,” Severus scratched his chin. “It seems all I need to do is find a heart strengthening potion and use it on Hermione’s dad. Still, that seems so straightforward, and quite frankly, something she could do herself given enough time.”

“You’re correct. Achieving eudaimonia is not as simple as a single accomplishment.”

“Then what is this mission actually about?”

“That’s for you to figure out. I cannot do it for you.”

“Could you at least put in a request that the Trinity give me this cure so we can move onto the actual reason you sent me to her?”

“This is your Purgatory sentence, not theirs. You need to help her in the way only you can, and let Sirius help her as best he knows how.”

Severus groaned. “I was afraid you’d tell me to put more trust in him.”

“It’s all part of the process.”

“I wish it was not.”

“If it makes you feel better, every soul in Purgatory is groaning because the purification process is difficult.”

“It gives me little comfort, though I appreciate knowing others are going through this unpleasant process.”

“Believe me, you are far from alone.”

A comfortable silence fell between them.

“If you want a hint,” Dismas began. “I can give you one.”

“Any help would be appreciated.”

“When I was twenty-one I believed that riches would give me true happiness. If I could steal more I could become richer. If I became richer I would gain more power. If I had to take a few lives because they wouldn’t give me wealth, then it was a small price to pay.”

“I can relate to that thirst for power.”

“Indeed you can,” Dismas brightened. "Barabbas, Gestas, and I used to tell each other what we’d do with the gold we’d robbed. After each raid the stories became more outlandish, but those nights were some of the happiest in my life.”

“I take it Gestas the other thief who hung with you.”

“He was.”

“Also, I thought Barabbas was a revolutionary, not a thief.”

Dismas shook his head. “He was about as revolutionary as Pontius Pilate. We were nothing more than a band of exceptional thieves.”

“What did you do once you got the money?”

“It depended on our mood. Sometimes we spent it on food, other times we threw lavish parties for other bandits we knew, other days we bought jewels we would give to the women we flirted with. Still, it was never enough. We always wanted more.”

“In other words, your accomplishments were never enough. You needed something deeper, something more sustainable.”

Dismas turned a dark blue as his eyes grew distant.

Severus ran his hand the armrest of his chair. A piece of the cloud disintegrated at his touch.

“We often don’t know what we want,” Dismas’ voice was quiet as his glow darkened. “It can sometimes take others to see what we need.”

Severus bowed his head. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

Another moment passed.

Dismas put his hand on Severus’ shoulder. “Do you want to see how to make a shape out of a cloud?”

The saint’s hue had returned to yellow. Severus gave him a small grin.

“Here.” Dismas stood. “All you have to do is think of the shape you want to create, flicker your wrist a few times, and that’s all there is to it.”

Severus stood. “Do you have to move a certain way?”

“No, just wave it and have the will to transform the cloud.”

Severus shrugged and envisioned a butterfly. He waved his hand. A fluffy butterfly emerged from the clouds.

“There you go!”

Severus’ glow brightened as the cloud flew away.

If this was a foretaste of heaven, then Severus was now very interested in devouring it for all of eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	11. Chapter 11

Why was Severus so suspicious of this mission?

Sirius wandered into _Paradisio Books._ He was greeted by a table of ten books, each with Severus’ scowling face. Still, Sirius could only imagine the salacious contents. Perhaps if he persuaded Dismas and St. Pete the book was vital for his mission they would let him read it.

Speaking of the mission, why did Severus think more needed to be done than finding a cure? If it was as straightforward as Sirius thought it was, then why couldn’t Severus just shut up and do his job?

When he got back, he’d need to remind Severus that as long as he didn’t complicate things by doing too much, they could both get what they wanted. Sirius got time to explore earth, a change of scenery and an opportunity to spend more time with Harry. Severus got to work with potions again. Everyone was getting what he wanted! Why was Severus convinced there was a catch?

Perhaps the issue was that Severus couldn’t find the proper ingredients. Was Sirius’ mission to help him find it by listening to clues from Hermione?

Sirius’ glow intensified at the thought of Severus having to admit that he could not have created a potion without him. It would almost be as sweet as the moment he entered the pearly gates.

Hermione burst into the store and stared at the front table. She collected the books and darted over to her right. Once she was in the back of the store, she began to put them on a top shelf. The door chimed.

“Hello Beatrice!”

“Hello,” The blond woman’s eyes fell on the now empty front table. “Where are the copies of _Severus Snape: Saint or Scoundrel_?”

“They’re right here.” Hermione shoved the fifth copy onto the shelf.

“Why are you putting them under the ‘Science Fiction’ section?”

“It’s a marketing strategy.” Hermione put another up. “Most people only want to buy this book, so they just go to the front table and never look around the store. If it isn’t in such an obvious location though then people will have to hunt around. If we’re lucky they’ll discover another title and buy that as well. If we’re really lucky they’ll find an expensive book and buy that instead.”

“That makes sense, but why put them on the top shelf?”

Hermione placed the last book in its now proper place. “If it’s here, then they have to hunt around even more for it.”

Beatrice cocked her head.

“You’ll see,” Hermione emerged from the bookshelves. “This strategy will work.”

“What if its clear they only want that book and are getting frustrated with not finding it?”

“If that’s the case, then you can show them where it is, or better yet, suggest another book.”

“What if they think we’re out of copies and just leave?”

“Perhaps they’ll preorder or decide since they’re already here so they should look around.”

“From the way you're acting, you don’t seem interested in selling this book.”

“Of course I’m interested in selling this book,” Hermione gave her a forced grin. “I think this strategy will work though.”

Beatrice raised an eyebrow.

“Besides, the book belongs in the science fiction aisle, don’t you agree?”

“It is closer to Star Trek than reality anyway.”

“Exactly! It belongs in the science fiction where nobody will read the lies Rita has published-I mean where they’ll have to look at some of our other titles and take an interest in them.”

Beatrice nodded as her eyes flashed in understanding. “Got it.”

Sirius glanced at the empty front table. At least he wouldn’t have to look at Severus’ face when he entered the store. The day was already improving.

The door rang again.

“Hermione!”

Hermione’s smile evaporated as Beatrice took her place at the register.

The man gave her a smile which would make a muggle game show host blush. “How have you been?”

“Fine Cormac.” She strolled over to the counter. “I’ve been just fine.”

“Good. I’ve been worried about you. You seem so busy and exhausted. I’m worried that you’ll wear yourself out.”

“I appreciate your thinking about me.” She shifted her glance towards the Biography aisle to her right. “It’s nice to know you care.” 

“I always think about you,” Cormac pinned her between him and the counter.

Sirius frowned.

“I really need to get in the back…”

“Hear me out first.”

Hermione gulped.

“I know you were busy last weekend, but I was hoping sometime this week we could get together for dinner.”

“I wish I could,” she pushed him aside. “Sadly, this week appears to be busy for me as well.”

“Lunch then?”

“That won’t work either. With Rita’s latest books coming out I’ve been struggling to keep up with orders.”

“I’d imagine you’re busy.” Cormac glanced back at the empty table. “You appear to be sold out.”

“Yes, I’ve been very busy filling orders and hoping they come in.”

“When do you see yourself becoming less busy?”

“I don’t know. It seems as if something always comes up.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Yes, it does.”

“I would love to chat more, but there are things which must get done.” Hermione rushed towards her office.

“What is it going to take to get your attention?”

“Oh trust me, you have my attention.”

“Then have dinner with me.”

“I told you, I would love to, but it just isn’t going to work this week.”

Something told Sirius that dinner with Cormac wasn’t going to work for any week.

“Then next week?”

“Maybe.”

His lips curled up in an expression reminiscent of a snake which had discovered an obese mouse.

“In the meantime, I need to go. It was great to see you though. Feel free to show yourself out or better yet, buy a book and leave.”

“You know I’m not interested in books.”

“Perhaps you could develop an interest in them.”

Before he could answer, she slammed the back door behind her.

Cormac snarled and turned to Beatrice. “Can’t you pick up more of the slack so she’s not as busy?”

Beatrice rolled her eyes. “I’m doing everything she needs me to do already.”

“Do more. I refuse to rest until she has dinner with me.”

Sirius turned a dull red.

“Do you think that perhaps she is trying to let you down nicely?” Beatrice asked.

“She wants me, even if she doesn’t admit it.”

“Sure she does.”

Cormac glared at her.

The cashier huffed. “Are you going to buy something or are you going to stand around all day?”

“I have important Ministry business to attend to,” Cormac began to leave. “Tell Hermione my offer for dinner still stands.”

From the expression on Beatrice’s face, it was clear that she had no intention of saying anything to her employer.

Once the door shut behind Cormac, Sirius breezed into Hermione’s office.

“Why do I always pick up the narcissists?” Hermione muttered as she pulled out several parchments from her desk. “Why does every man think I’m so desperate for a kiss I’d tolerate boorish behavior?”

Sirius leaned against the wall.

Hermione groaned and slumped into her chair. “Why can’t I be left alone so I can be happy with my life?”

Sirius smirked.

Severus could deal with the potion. He would deal with Cormac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	12. Chapter 12

Sirius was frightening when he had a brilliant idea.

He didn’t say much about his latest scheme. The only hints he gave were that Severus should focus on the potion while he discussed the specifics of whatever he had in mind with St. Pete. Severus didn’t have enough time to argue with the dog. If this plan was as idiotic as Severus believed it was, then St. Pete would prevent it from bring implemented. If somehow Black still managed to pull it off, Severus would either reap the benefits, or make it clear that he had little to do with his partner’s actions. If the Trinity had any intelligence at all, they would assign him a new partner and let Black rot where he belonged.

Whatever Black’s plan was, Severus still had a mission to fulfill. That, and not the dog, deserved his undivided attention.

As Severus continued to scour through Ms. Granger’s notes, his mind returned to Dismas’ story. This mission was bound to get more complicated, though it was unclear what further action Severus should take. She needed something from him other than this potion, though what this was remained unclear. There was a catch, and it was his job to discover it before it jeopardized his future.

How did getting into heaven become more complex than being a double agent?

“Crookshanks!”

The door clicked shut behind her. The half-kneazle let out a “meow” before jumping off a leather chair and racing to the door.

“Hello there,” Ms. Granger cooed. “Did you miss me?”

Crookshanks let out another meow.

“Yes, I missed you too! Yes, I did!”

Severus rolled his eyes. Speaking in a tone of voice that sickeningly sweet should be illegal, especially for someone with someone of Ms. Granger’s alleged intelligence.

“The day was hell.” Dry cat food was poured into a ceramic cat food dish. “I swear the customers become more idiotic by the day.”

Severus stood. Welcome to what was once my world.

“At least it’s over now, thank God.”

Severus strolled into the kitchen.

Hermione massaged Crookshanks’ back as he ate. “I think I may skip research for tonight in favor of a hot bath or reading another mystery...”

“That would be inadvisable.”

Hermione leapt and gasped.

“You may want a relaxing evening, but I would appreciate getting out of Purgatory sometime before the next century. In order to accomplish that mission, you need to work.”

“You’re still here?”

“I thought we established that I existed and I was sent to help you.”

“Yes, but I didn’t think you would become a nightly visitor.”

“I was growing bored listening to Black go on about some scheme he has in mind to escape Purgatory. The only place I can go unsupervised other than my room is here, hence my presence.”

“Sirius is scheming again?”

“Sadly, yes, and if I was alive he would be giving me a migraine.”

“What does he have planned?”

“I do not know, and quite frankly do not care. It is bound to fail, so I found it unworthy of my attention.”

“Is he in Purgatory proper then, or in the same program you’re in?”

“Sadly we are in the same program, and are forced to share a room.”

Ms. Granger’s voice softened. “That sounds like hell.”

“It is less than pleasant, but if it only lasts a few more months I will manage.”

“Do you think we can find a cure that quickly?”

“We will try anyway.”

The color returned to her face. “I’d be more than happy to show you my notes, but I would like some dinner first.”

“Be my guest.”

She strolled over to her refrigerator. “Would you like something?”

“Even if I did, I could not consume it.”

“True.” Ms. Granger stared at him, her eyes soft and her lips were cast downwards. 

He scowled. “There is no need to pity me.”

“I don’t pity you.”

“Then stop looking at me like that.”

She turned away. “I’m sorry. I was only thinking you should not be treated than you are.”

“It matters little how I should be treated. I have to make the most of my situation.”

“You should be doing more than surviving the afterlife.”

“If we find this cure then I will be much better off.”

True."

She began scouring her fridge. Settling on some leftover Chinese, she put it onto a plate and into the microwave.

After the microwave beep, she carried the food to the table. “It really does feel odd to eat in front of you.”

“Do not think too deeply about it.”

“I know, but you must want some food. It's right in front of you, Surely you at least smell it.”

“I cannot so much as smell your food, nor do I feel any hunger pangs.”

“Still it must be odd for you to see me eating.”

“Eating is a normal part of earthly life. It does not bother me to see people acting like people, especially given how differently everyone else behaves.”

He watched her as she ate. Judging from its appearance her meal consisted of General Tso’s chicken on a steamy plate of rice. It brought back more than a few memories.

During the summer vacation he enjoyed the occasional takeout meal. It was one of his few joys amidst the chaos of the situations he was involved in. Now, it seemed as if eating had only been a way to avoid a painful death.

When had a good meal become pointless?

“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you last night.” She wiped a bit of sauce off of her mouth. “I was more exhausted than I realized.”

“Have you been sleeping well lately?”

“Usually I sleep just fine, but after seeing you the first time, I decided some research into spirits was in order.”

Severus shook his head. Of course the first thing she would do was dive into a book. “What did you discover?”

“I know you’re different than a ghost, and what you describe as Purgatory is different than what Dante said it was. Other than that, I couldn’t find anything else.”

“Dante's description of Purgatory was somewhat inaccurate. From what I understand, Purgatory can be very much what Dante wrote about, but the old methods are not working. They are trying new programs because it’s getting overcrowded.”

“I didn’t know spirits could be overcrowded given that you are non-corporeal beings.”

“Apparently space is still at a premium, even in the afterlife.”

“Do you think heaven will ever be overcrowded?”

“Let’s just say nobody has expressed such a concern in my presence. Perhaps the Trinity underestimated how many people would fail to live up to their standards.”

She grinned. “Perhaps.”

Silence fell between them as she continued to eat.

“If you know about the existence of ghosts, why were you so alarmed to see me?” He finally asked.

“I didn’t know the ghosts I me while they were alive, but I knew you. When you died I knew you wouldn’t stay on earth, so to see you again was terrifying.”

“You need to get used to my presence. If I am to go through your notes I will need to be here for extended periods of time.”

“Fine.” She swallowed her last bite of food. “I only ask that you not be here when I’m not around.”

“I need time to look over your notes, and the more time I have pouring over them the less time I’ll need to complete this mission.”

“I know, but I do not appreciate people, uh, spirits, coming in here without my permission. I value my privacy, and would appreciate you respecting it.”

His glow dimmed. “Fine, I will wait for you to be here before I arrive. Still, it is going to be difficult to know when we can meet without a set time.”

“I usually finish eating around seven. Would it be appropriate for us to meet then?”

“My entire schedule is dictated by helping you. Whenever you want to come I am available.”

“Great. I am free most weekends, except for this Saturday. I’m going to visit my parents.”

“Very well, I will not appear until Sunday.”

“You can meet me around noon. I should be ready by then."

"That will be fine. Dismas may want to speak with me over the weekend anyway, so that will give us some time."

“Who’s Dismas?”

“In short, he’s the Good Thief, and the only sane person in this entire situation.”

“The good thief is real?”

“If Dismas is to be believed, and I have no reason to doubt him, then yes.”

Ms. Granger exhaled. “I had no clue.”

“For the record, Anubis is real too.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but do not ask me how he related to the Trinity. I only saw him as the prosecutor in my judgment. He was not there when the final verdict was announced.”

“Are there any other Egyptian gods?”

“If they exist nobody has mentioned them.”

“The afterlife sounds strange.”

“It is different than what I expected.”

She took a few more bites. Severus rapped his fingers of the table, somewhat disheartened that they made no sound.

“Back to the topic at hand,” She began to collect her dishes. “Go ahead and meet me at noon on Sunday. That will work fine."

“I will be there then.”

“Good,” she touched the plate with her wand. It was as clean as when she’d pulled it out.

For a moment, Severus wondered what had become of his wand. Given that he couldn’t touch anything, it was doubtful that it would respond to him. Still, he turned a light shade of blue when he considered that it had just been discarded in his grave along with him, as if it was a piece of trash.

“How should I contact you if I won’t be present for one of our meetings?”

Severus’ glow brightened. “I will wait in your sitting room for ten minutes. If you do not come then I will search your apartment. If you still are not there then I will depart.”

“That’s fair, although I would hate for you to waste your time waiting for me.”

“It’s either sit alone in your apartment or sit in a stark room listening to Black rattle on about something insipid. It’s a favor to allow me into your apartment at all.”

She smiled.

“That being said, when should I leave?”

“Either when I ask you to, or if I fall asleep again.”

“I would strongly suggest telling me if you grow too fatigued. It is rude to fall asleep on a guest, and it is terrible for a woman’s back if she sleeps on a recliner.”

“I’ll remember that.”

He turned to the hallway. “We should probably begin…”

“How is Sirius?”

Severus shrugged. “He is well given the circumstances, though he is as eager to get out of this situation as I am.”

“I would imagine.”

“Now, as for the notes…”

“Did he find any peace at all in the afterlife?”

His glow became a dull red. “Let’s just say that he is closer to Harry now than he was in life. That is bringing him great comfort.”

“I’m glad,” she whispered.

“Indeed.” He breezed into the sitting room. “Now, I have only made it through your preliminary notes, but they are more promising than I thought they would be.”

“Is that some type of compliment?”

“It’s a statement of relief that I’m not working with a dunderhead.”

She laughed.

“What is so amusing?”

“You,” she took a deep breath. “You haven’t changed at all. It’s nice to know some things stay the same.”

“There are certain things about me which will never change, for better or worse.”

“I would say it's for the better.”

“Indeed,” Severus’ hue was a bright yellow. “Now, I like the idea of using strands of hair from a unicorn’s tail. It’s a promising angle I had not considered.”

“I actually discarded that idea when I realized unicorn tail hair might not interact well with some of the other ingredients I was planning to use.”

“What would those be?”

Ms. Granger strolled across the room to her cluttered desk and began pulling out more parchments. “I was hoping to use fangs from a Brazilian pit viper since muggle use their venom in heart medication already, but they didn’t interact well with each other.”

“What happened?”

“The cauldron exploded.”

“You may need a third ingredient to stabilize them.”

“What would that be?”

Severus picked up a parchment. “Once I read your notes and consider some of my own research we should be able to discover it.”

“We?”

“Yes, you did most of the work, I’m only lending my expertise in exchange for reaching heaven. I’d say that qualifies as a team.”

“I know, but I never thought I’d ever hear you refer to us as a team.”

“I never thought I’d refer to us as a team either.”

“Well,” her face lit up. “I’m glad to be on your team.”

His glow intensified.

“Anyway,” we should get back to the notes.”

“Indeed,” Severus answered, grateful that at least his client wasn't a complete dunderhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	13. Chapter 13

Peter swore Jesus had never fully forgiven him for denying him three times. What other explanation was there for being roped into dealing with Sirius Black?

“I don’t know much about Cormac, but I know he needs to be stopped!” Sirius exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, but there's little we can do."

"Maybe you can't do anything, but I can!"

“True, you could give Hermione advice on how to handle this situation and have Severus relay it.”

“No! I need to haunt him until he regrets ever laying eyes on her!”

“Your job is to help, not haunt, people.”

“I am going to help Hermione by haunting Cormac.”

“You will do no such thing.”

“But if I haunt Cormac until he leaves Hermione alone, she will be happy. Isn’t my mission to make her happy?”

“Her happiness will not be gained if you intimidate everyone who harasses her, regardless of how abhorrently they are behaving.”

“I disagree. I think keeping Cormac away from Hermione would contribute to her well-being.”

“While I agree that he is troubling her and he is a creep…”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

“We do not interfere in such matters."

"Can't we make an exception?"

"No, it is not our job to do things for the living.”

“Why not?”

“Because then they would become dependent upon our powers for every aspect of their life. They would never learn to resolve their own problems, which would cause them to miss out on some of the triumphs in life. This could negatively affect their experience of heaven.”

“How?”

“To begin with, they would not appreciate eternal peace if they got everything they ever wanted with the snap of their fingers. Heaven would be the same as earth.”

“True, but that shouldn’t be a big of a problem.”

“It wouldn’t be if that didn’t affect how they interact with each other too.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Most souls past a certain age want to feel as if their lives had meaning. This meaning is often found by overcoming obstacles and creating good from the evil they’ve been given. It is through overcoming obstacles that they can relate and respect each other. If this is taken away, they won’t be able to build these important relationships.”

“I’ll relate much better to other souls if I can get Cormac to leave Hermione alone! I could solve all her problems if I could just get rid of him!”

“I know, but the Pilot Purgatory Program was not designed to solve all her problems, only give her the tools to find her own sense of eudaimonia.”

Sirius scowled. “I still think this is the best way to do it.”

“Okay,” Peter gripped his golden staff tighter. “Let’s pretend that souls have always had the ability to interfere in earthly matters and could intimidate anyone who is behaving immorally.”

"That would be a perfect world."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

“How exactly would you have felt if Severus cried to one of us when he was hanging from that tree, knowing that once he did so we would wreak havoc upon your life?”

Sirius’ eyes widened as his glow went white.

“I do not believe you would have appreciated our interference.”

“This is completely different.”

“How? Cormac is harassing Hermione, and you were bullying Severus. Why should we ignore him and help her?”

“Because he was,” Sirius’ glow pulsated. “Because he was into the dark arts, a Slytherin, and very unpleasant. He deserved everything I gave him!”

Peter pointed his staff at Sirius and turned orange. “It is this exact reasoning and self-righteousness which has earned you a millennium in purgatory!”

Sirius cowered.

The saint’s glow returned to its regular hue. “It is painful to watch a loved one suffer. Every soul in heaven knows that. There is so much evil in the world, many of which we wish we could prevent, and would if it were permitted. Still, we have rules which must be followed. If we begin to allow exceptions, then the system falls apart. As unjust as it seems, the system must be maintained.”

“So it’s fine to allow people to suffer for your precious system to work?”

“You weren’t complaining about our system when you were calling Severus, ‘Snivellus’ and firing hexes at him. Why is it so abhorrent to you now?”

Sirius snarled as he became red. Peter’s expression did not change.

“St. Peter, what an unexpected surprise.”

Both spirits’ eyes fell on the newcomer. Severus strolled over to the couch and took his seat.

“You have a partner,” Peter returned his attention to Sirius. “Work on this problem together.”

“What problem?” Severus groaned.

“I am certain that Sirius will be more than happy to explain.”

Before either of the spirits could respond, St. Peter raised his cane and disappeared.

After a moment of silence, Severus shook his head. “What have you done now?”

“I tried to make Hermione’s life perfect, but St. Pete wants me to follow some stupid rules,” Sirius snapped.

“Please tell me you did not do anything to jeopardize our mission.”

“How can I? All I can do is sit back and watch Hermione. I can’t interfere or even talk to her!”

Severus leaned against the arm rest of the sofa.

“I can’t protect her or haunt those who want to hurt her.”

Severus’ eyes widened. “Someone wants to hurt Ms. Granger?”

“Yes.”

“What is that supposed to mean?

“There is an absolute bastard, Cormac, who is harassing Hermione.”

“Cormac McLaggen?”

“Maybe, I don’t know his last name.”

“I'm sure it's him. Mr. McLaggen had quite the crush on Ms. Granger.”

“For how long?”

“I am not entirely sure. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“And here I thought you were a super spy.”

“Honestly my most vivid memory of Mr. McLaggen is him vomiting on my best pair of shoes.”

Sirius smiled. “Really?”

“Yes,” Severus replied. “He got a month’s worth of detention for ruining them.”

Sirius smirked. “Usually, I’d yell at you for being an unjust professor, but Cormac is such an arse I am fine with you giving him a detention for any reason.”

“He must have been quite the threat to Ms. Granger if he has you agreeing with my teaching methods.”

“Believe me, I still think you’re the most unjust professor who’s ever walked the halls of Hogwarts.”

“And I think you’re among the most dunderheaded students who ever graced its halls.”

“Then we’re even.”

“Indeed.”

Sirius’ glow dimmed. “In all seriousness, he is harassing her, and I cannot haunt him away.”

“You were going to haunt someone for harassing Ms. Granger?”

“If it got him to stay away from her, it might have brought her some happiness.”

“I will admit that would improve her overall contentment with life.”

“In other words, she’ll achieve eudaimonia if we get her away from Cormac?”

“It could get her closer to it,” Severus scratched his chin. “Though I’m still suspicious with how straightforward this mission is.”

“Would you stop worrying?” Sirius replied. “All we need to do is figure out to get rid of Cormac, make her potion, and then we’ll be in heaven.”

“I will be in heaven. You just get a few years shaved from your sentence, and then it’s right back to Purgatory.”

“That’s a technicality. Once they see how well we achieved our mission they’ll beg us to walk through the pearly gates.”

“That’s assume you don’t muck this up.”

“I figured out the Cormac part of the equation. That’s already some progress.”

“True.”

“Now all we have to do is figure out how to get rid of him without haunting him.”

“I will admit to being at a loss for how to help.” Severus slumped. 

“I suppose you would have difficulty since you’ve never had a suitor, much less an unwanted one.”

Severus furrowed his eyebrows.

“In my experience, the best way to get rid of an unwanted advance is to fight back or find someone else who will fight back for you.”

“It’s been made clear that we can’t fight for her, and I am certain Ms. Granger is more than capable of fighting him off if things become too out of control.”

“She seemed meeker when he was speaking with her, like she was less sure of herself then she was before we died.”

“Why would she be unsure of herself?”

“I don’t know.” Sirius mused aloud. “I suppose it’s our job to find out.”

“Which means that since I can talk to her, that task falls to me.”

“Pretty much.”

“Do you want me to begin counseling Ms. Granger to get to the root of her alleged deep seated pain? I’ll ask her to lie on a couch while I sit on her armchair. I’ll write some notes on a clipboard while she talks about how her dad did not love her enough.” Severus asked

Sirius’ eyes bulged. “Please tell me that is a joke.”

“Partially, though if you think that would work…”

“No, no, no. We need a new plan.”

“What would you propose?”

“I don’t know.”

Severus tapped the armrest. “I propose that we analyze the situation more carefully before making a final decision, unless you feel Cormac is an immediate threat.”

“No, she's probably not in any physical danger.”

“Then observe how she interacts with people and any clues she can give as to why she feels inadequate. In the meantime I will help her with the potion and if the conversation allows me to, I will ask her if there is anything else I can do for her in addition to this potion.”

“That could work.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Did you just agree with me without a hint of sarcasm?”

“No, I’m just too tired to argue.”

“How can you be tired? Spirits cannot grow weary.”

“I’m a special spirit who gets tired.”

“Of course you’e special. How could you be anything else?”

“I couldn’t be.”

Severus sneered and turned from Sirius.

“Before St. Pete came, I was reading _The Trial of Socrates._ Can I have it?”

“You are more than capable of coming over here and picking up a book, though I may give you the one you desire.”

“Seriously? You’re going to give me a grammar lesson?”

“Proper grammar is a virtue.”

“Maybe to a stuffy professor like you,” Sirius muttered.

Severus handed the book to the other spirit.

“It actually isn’t as boring as I thought it would be.” Sirius opened the book. 

Severus grunted and picked up a red book entitled, _The Timaeus_.

“I still don’t know what any of this has to do with eudaimonia, but at least it’s something to do.”

“If it keeps your mouth shut for a few minutes then I am eternally grateful for your newfound interest in Greek philosophy.”

“You know what I think?”

“You are capable of thinking?”

“I think you like talking to me more than you let on.” Sirius grinned. 

“I think you make Dante's Purgatory look downright pleasant.”

“You can always quit the program.”

“I do not like leaving projects undone.”

Sirius’ voice was quieter. “Is that all this is to you, a project?”

"What do you think?" Severus turned the page.

Sirius’ glow brightened as he began to read. Although it was unlikely Plato would offer him any clues on how to handle Cormac, it was a nice diversion. Sometimes, that was the sweetest thing one could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	14. Chapter 14

Of course the day she began working with Severus was the day she spilled ketchup all over her powdered gray skirt. Despite the various cleaning spells, an oily vestige remained. So, at a quarter to seven she was scouring her closet for something to wear.

Hermione scowled. The only acceptable options were the coal gray business suit she had planned to wear the next day or her small sleeveless black dress which she had no plans to wear in the near future. Deciding on the latter, she changed.

After spending a few moments becoming presentable, she marched into the sitting room. It was odd to sit barefoot around in such a nice outfit, but she was not wearing high heels to impress a spirit who wore only a black tunic.

“Hermione?”

She startled.

“Hermione? Are you there?”

She rushed to the fireplace. “Harry?”

“Hey I just wanted to see if…” his eyes grew. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“You aren’t interrupting anything.”

“No, I can call back," his ashen eyes gleamed. "I understand if you need to be somewhere soon.”

“I have nowhere to be.”

“Oh sure, you just like dressing up when you’re lounging around the house.”

She glanced at her dress and laughed. “Oh this, it’s nothing really.”

“It’s pretty fancy for nothing.”

“It isn’t what you think anyway,” she took a deep breath. “I have someone coming over to discuss my father’s potion with me.”

“So you wore that?”

“I didn’t have a choice. Laundry day is tomorrow, and this was the only presentable thing I had left.”

“Sure,” he drawled.

“Honestly, our relationship is strictly professional.”

“You don’t need to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Then don’t lie to yourself.”

She closed her mouth.

“It's good that you're finally moving on.”

Hermione shook her head.

“I was going to invite you over for dinner on Sunday, but if you’re busy I understand.”

“No, Sunday works great for me. Just tell me when to come and I’ll be there.”

“Be here by five. Bring your friend if you’d like. I’d love to meet him.”

“For the last time, I do not have a friend," she argued.

“So it isn’t serious yet?” He asked.

“It isn’t serious at all and it never will be.”

“That’s fine. Starting slow is a good thing.”

She sighed. “How many people are going to be at your dinner?”

“You’ll be the only guest in attendance.”

“You could’ve invited other people.”

“No, we thought you needed a distraction from everything. Besides, I’m sure it’s been awhile since you’ve had a dinner that didn’t come from a restaurant.”

“I don’t always eat out.”

“I forgot, you sometimes make sandwiches and warm up a can of soup.”

Hermione grinned. “They are good sandwiches.”

“Oh yes, you should open your own deli.”

“I should.”

“In all seriousness,” Harry cleared his throat. “It’ll be good to see you again. Luna has some ultrasound pictures she wants you to see.”

“I’d love to see them,” she answered.

“Good.”

From the corner of Hermione’s eye, she saw a yellow glow. The room temperature increased.

“Anyway, I should let you return to your evening.”

“Yes, my guest has arrived.”

“Go knock his socks off!”

“Harry!”

"What? I'm just encouraging you."

She groaned.

“You deserve some happiness. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I won’t.”

With that, the fire died.

“Did you tell Potter about us?”

She turned towards the spirit. “Hello Hermione, how are you? Oh I’m fine, thank you for asking.”

“Did you tell Potter about us?”

“For a spirit trying to get into heaven you certainly are being rude now.”

“Fine,” Severus’ frown deepened. “How are you doing, Ms. Granger?”

“I am fine.” She put some wood into the fireplace. “Work was chaos as always, but I think things are under control, at least for the moment.”

“That is great to hear.” Severus sat on her sofa. “Now, did you tell Potter about us?”

“I told him I had a guest coming to discuss my dad’s potion with me. He might have extrapolated more than I meant for him too.”

“Have you mentioned anything about me to him?”

“Yes, Severus, I spend my entire day discussing you with everyone I meet. In fact, I plan to floo Rita tomorrow asking her to run a story on my new supernatural visitor.”

Severus suppressed the smile tugging at his lips.

“I have been too unsettled by you to tell anyone about you,” she pulled out her wand, pointed it at the fireplace and muttered. “Incendio.”

“That is probably for the best.”

“I did ask Luna about spirits though.” She strolled towards the sofa.

“Why would you ask her about spirits?"

“She was the only magical creature expert I knew.”

“You have a point there."

“Given that Harry hasn’t asked about you I doubt she told him anything," She sat beside him.

“Why would Luna tell Potter anything?”

“They’ve been married for four years with their first child on the way.”

“Oh,” he drawled. “How lovely for them.”

“They make an amazing couple,” she answered.

“Though a surprising one. I thought he was in love with Ginevra Malfoy.”

“He was until she ran off with Draco.”

“Lucius must’ve been thrilled.”

She smirked. “He about had a stroke.”

“I would image."

"He threatened to disinherit Draco over it, until Narcissa threatened to divorce him if he did so," Hermione chuckled. 

"She always did take Draco's side."

"Everyone is glad she did. Even Lucius admits Ginny isn't the worst daughter-in-law he could have."

"The poor man must feel as if he's being tortured every day if he's admitting such things."

"Undoubtedly."

"All that being said, Potter does not need to know of my existence. It would make things too,” Severus paused. “Complicated.”

“I respect your privacy, but I’m sure he’d love to speak with you," she replied.

“Even if I wanted to speak with him, which I do not, I cannot do so as long as I stay in this form.”

“If he hears about your afterlife, it won’t be from me.”

“I would prefer it that way.”

“Me too. My life is complicated enough without you in it.”

“Indeed it is.”

Hermione picked up a parchment and placed it in his arms. “Here is are my latest calculations. I finished them last week.”

He unfurled it. “I still say you gave up on mixing the unicorn hair and snake venom too soon.”

“I considered that while at work today, but I’m still at a loss as to what the third stabilizing ingredient would be.”

“Hopefully we can find it in time for your father.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

He gazed into her wide, caramel eyes. “It means I cannot make any promises of success. Nobody has told me whether or not I was destined to cure your father, only that I should help you create this potion.”

“Oh.”

He kept his eyes on her.

“I guess I thought when you came here that maybe Dad was meant to live. It gave me hope.” The tear on her cheek glistened in the firelight.

“If I could make promises of success, I would. All I know is I am meant to give you a sense of eudaimonia, which can take a lifetime to achieve.”

“Do you think you’ll be here my entire life?”

“Actually I think this will only take a few months, or so I hope.”

“That’s probably for the best.”

“It is,” he replied. “In the meantime, I don’t want you to have any false hope.”

“No, you’re right.” She sniffed. “I shouldn’t have false hope.”

“Yet you care for your father.”

“I do.”

His glow dulled. “I cannot say that I can relate to your sentiments, but I understand how important this mission must be to you. For that reason alone, I will do everything within my power to help.”

“Thank you, I do appreciate that.”

“Do not thank me yet. You may decide by tomorrow that you want little to do with me.”

“Honestly, it’s nice to be around you again.”

“Why would you say that?”

She shrugged. “You are familiar without knowing too much about me.”

“So you want to remain somewhat mysterious?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“No, I just do not want someone judging me for being in the Golden Trio, or from whatever they’ve read in the tabloids.”

“Understandable.”

He began to examine the parchment.

“I stopped selling Rita’s book.”

He glanced up.

“I realized it was wrong to make a profit off of her. I know what it’s like to be the victim of her lies. Even though you were dead, I should’ve remembered that feeling and done more to protect your reputation, not profit from your death.”

“I appreciate the apology, but think nothing of it. There is no reason to be upset over it considering that nobody can do a thing about it now.”

“I know but.” She attempted to take his hand, but she could not touch his body.

“If you want to atone from your perceived wrongdoings, please allow me to return to my work.”

She smoothed out her dress. “Yes.”

Instead of reading her notes, Severus took note of her expression. Her eyes were pleading with him for any kind of encouragement, even if it was laced in sarcasm. When he was teaching, that look had been grating. As an equal who was attempting to earn his respect, it was important that he give her at least some hint that he did not believe she was a dunderhead.

“Aren’t you going to read any more of my notes?” She rubbed her arms.

“Yes.” He returned his attention to her work.

Had he not known the woman behind this writing was Ms. Granger, he would have called her a great potions mistress. He may have even been tempted to agree to mentor him, assuming it did not interfere with his spying duties. Since it was Ms. Granger’s work though, he couldn’t help but feel a mixture of pride that she had learned so much from him, and regret that he had never encouraged her to dedicate her life to potions. Was he really so terrible a teacher that he had squashed instead of nurtured her potential?

“What did you think?” She shivered.

He set the parchment onto his lap. “I have two main thoughts”

“Yes?” She smoothed her dress again.

“These formulas are well-researched and logical. There is more creativity contained in these five parchments than in all your course work over at Hogwarts.”

Her eyes glistened.

“I also think we will have a more productive conversation if you wear more appropriate clothing.”

“Oh,” she blushed. “I told you, I have nothing else to wear.”

“What about your sweatpants and shirt?”

“Those are night clothes, not research clothes.”

“You will focus better if you are comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable.”

“As long I think you are uncomfortable I will be too distracted by your fidgeting to be of much use. Please change.”

“Fine.” She stood. “But you did like my research?”

“It gives us a good starting point. There is potential here.”

“Thank you!”

If she was a spirit, she would have glowed the brightest yellow Severus had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	15. Chapter 15

The quickest way to a girl’s heart was through her best friend.

Cormac plastered on a smile as he knocked upon Harry’s door.

“Come in!”

Cormac stepped inside. The parchments cluttered on Potter’s desk were so cluttered it was difficult to see any of the tan oak underneath. Still, there was space for a picture of a four month pregnant Luna winking at her husband.

Harry continued scribbling on his parchment. “What can I do for you?”

“I just needed to drop off some reports.”

Harry glanced up. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.” Cormac set them down. “How are you today?”

“Very well.”

“Work hasn’t been too overwhelming for you lately?”

“No, in fact it has calmed down.” Harry set down his quill. “Once we captured Rakh Zoatham things really settled down.”

“That’s so great to hear.” Cormac leaned onto his desk.

“Yes, it should be an open and shut case. We’re just getting the last of the evidence processed.”

“I look forward to prosecuting it then.” He glanced at the photograph. “Has Luna been doing well?”

“Indeed she is." Harry’s face lit up. "She’s in her seventh month of pregnancy, and as beautiful as ever.”

“Oh I’m so happy for you. It must be so exciting to have a little one on the way.”

“It is.” Harry sighed.

“It’s so nice that you’re doing well.” Cormac frowned. “I only wish I could say the same about Hermione.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“I don’t know. I went into her bookstore a few days ago, but she was too busy to speak to me for long.”

“She’s been swamped ever since that Severus Snape book came out.”

“I know. I tried to ask her for dinner, but she claimed she was too busy for me.”

“Oh, she did,” Harry paled.

“Yes, I’m really getting worried for her.”

“I’m glad you’re concerned, but there’s no reason to be.”

Cormac raised an eyebrow.

“She’s been really busy with the store and the potion. It may be difficult for her to have dinner with anyone.”

“She needs to relax though. I don’t know why she won’t allow me to wine and dine her for an evening.”

“I don’t think she has her eyes on you.”

“She hasn’t had her eyes set on anyone.”

“Nobody that we know of anyway.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Harry shifted his gaze to the side.

Cormac furrowed his eyebrows. “Is someone else wining and dining her?”

Harry bowed his head.

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t give me any details.”

Cormac gritted his teeth.

Harry turned to him. “I’m sorry. I know you have a crush on her, but I don’t think she feels the same way.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, but clearly she doesn’t feel the way about you that you do about her.”

“So she’s dating another man?”

“I don’t know that for certain. All I know is she was dressed up for someone yesterday evening.”

Cormac’s eyes hardened.

“Look.” Harry exhaled. “I’m sorry to break the news to you. Knowing how you feel about her I thought you deserved to know.”

“No, I was going to find out sometime. Better to hear it from you then from some tabloid.”

“This doesn’t have to be terrible news though. Perhaps you could give her some space and perhaps focus on another woman. That may be in the best interest for everyone.”

“How am I supposed to prove to her that I’m a changed man if she’s snogging someone else?”

“You could start by just being a friend, and perhaps not pushing her so hard. Some space could really help her see that you’ve changed from your time at Hogwarts.”

“I’ve given her plenty of space. So far, it isn’t working.”

“Give her more space. Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all.”

“Or it could make her forget about me.”

“Trust me, nobody who meets you would ever forget about you.”

“Very true.” Cormac smirked. 

An owl pecked upon the dirt encrusted window.

Harry raised a finger and strolled over to the sound. “Excuse me.”

“Sure,” Cormac muttered.

Harry pushed the window open, allowing the grey owl to perch upon the ledge. Then, he tore the letter from its leg.

“You have a good point about me being memorable. The first time we went out she was enraptured by me. If it hadn’t been for…”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt.” Harry’s eyes were wide. “But I need to leave.”

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, but forensics had a breakthrough on the Aurelius murder. I need to get over there immediately.”

“Oh certainly. I wouldn’t want to prevent you from doing your job.”

“Thank you.” Harry took the coat from the back of his chair and through it over his shoulder. “Sorry about Hermione. Just give her some time. If it’s meant to work out it will, and if not then you can set your sights on someone else.”

“That’s easier said than done, given how special Hermione is.”

“I know.” Harry rushed to the door. “Still, things have a way of working out for the best. You just have to believe that.”

Before Cormac could answer, Harry scurried down the hallway.

Cormac huffed before stomping out of the office. What was Hermione thinking even looking at another man? Didn’t she know they would be perfect together?

He flung open the door to his office and sneered.

Two could play at this game! Cormac was going to find this mysterious suitor and make sure he regretted ever looking at her! It wouldn’t be difficult either.

After all, there were perks to being next in line for Chief Warlock.

***

Dismas appeared in the room.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Severus replied.

“Sorry it took me a couple of hours. When Gabriel wants to put on a concert everyone is expected to listen regardless of how convenient it is.”

Severus frowned, 

“Don’t get me wrong, he really is kind, but sometimes archangels forget that other spirits have afterlives and,” Dismas’ glow brightened. “Never mind. What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if I could have a parchment and some quills.”

Dismas cocked his head.

“I finished looking over Ms. Granger’s notes, and I think I have some ideas on how to stabilize her potions. Still, I would like something to record my ideas.”

“Is there not parchment at Hermione’s house?”

“There is, but I would like to work on this problem while she is not around and when Sirius isn’t whining in my ear.”

“I’m sorry, but you need to work on this project with her.”

“I will, but when I’m alone I would like to do some calculations.”

“You can do them in your head, but cannot write them down.”

“Why not?”

“To start with, we use only special materials for any kind of item a spirit can touch. A mortal couldn’t see them.”

“I had not considered that.”

“More importantly though, Hermione needs to work on this project with you. If you discover all the answers and give them to her, then it is no longer her project.”

“Why is that important? Was I not sent to help her?”

“In order to achieve eudaimonia, do you think it would be better to accomplish a task on your own, or to have the answers handed to you by a supernatural force?”

“From that perspective I can understand your point,” Severus answered. “Still, I fear forgetting something between the time I leave her apartment and come here.”

“Spirits don’t forget anything,” Dismas replied.

“They don’t?”

“No. That is why hell is so horrendous and Purgatory is so difficult. Every mistake and thing we could have done differently flashes before our eyes. No matter how hard we try, we cannot forget anything.”

Severus’ eyes widened. “What about heaven? Do we forget things there?”

“No, the spirits in heaven remember everything too. Yet, we have peace with their memories.” His glow lessened. “At least as much peace as we can.”

“I would not mind being at peace.”

“At the rate you’re going, I am confident you will be joining me in heaven in no time.”

“Are you simply saying that to give me hope?”

“I’m a heavenly spirit. There is no inclination in me to give false hope.”

“Why?”

“Because I fully understand the effects a lie would have on you.”

“So heavenly spirits are all-knowing?”

“No, only the Trinity can claim to be omniscient. Still, we have a fairly good grasp of how our actions affect each other, at least more so than souls in hell and Purgatory do.”

“So heaven is a type of spiritual maturity?”

“I guess you could call it that.” Dismas’ glow brightened. “Back to your original point though; you will forget nothing you see or think of, so there is no need to worry.”

“That is good to know,” Severus replied. “Yet I may think of something while I am here. Is that in violation of the rules?”

“Of course not,” Dismas answered. “Still, you need to discuss your findings with Hermione before creating any concrete calculation.”

“I see.”

“Good.” The saint glanced up.

“Wait.”

Dismas returned his attention to Severus.

“Would you please explain a few portions of _The Timaeus_? It is such an odd view of the physical universe and I would like to know if there’s any truth to it,” Severus replied.

“Wouldn’t it be better to discuss this with Sirius when he returns from spying?”

“Do you think he can grasp something this complex?”

“I do, but I also know he hasn’t read enough philosophy to fully comprehend what is Plato is arguing in this particular piece.”

“If you could discuss it with me I would appreciate the company.”

Dismas shrugged. “I have nowhere else to be at the moment. I’d be more than happy to discuss Plato with you.”

Severus smiled, thankful to receive some intellectual stimulation other than that which came from Ms. Granger in an inappropriately short dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	16. Chapter 16

Once again, Ms. Granger could not be bothered to appear in her sitting room on time.

Severus sat upon the couch, a scowl etched onto his face. Crookshanks glanced up from the chair across from him and growled. The spirit glared at him. After yawning, the half-kneazle closed his eyes and relaxed.

“Mister Snape?” A voice called down the hallway. “Are you here yet?”

“Yes, and you are late once again.”

“Sorry, I’ll be out with you in a moment!”

“Fine,” he grumbled before picking up a scroll of her notes.

Within a few minutes, he heard footsteps draw near. “I apologize for not being in the sitting room, but the shirts took longer than I expected. I may need to stop and take out the jeans as well.”

“Your attention is divided then.”

“I know, but you have an eternity to help me with my potion. I only have until Friday morning to get my laundry done.”

“I may have an eternity, but some punctuality would be appreciated,” he snapped.

“I know, but in my defense you were five minutes early.”

“So I was.” Severus’ eyes fell upon the black lacy underwear atop the t-shirts.

“Don’t stare at that,” She put the basket behind her back.

“I won’t stare at it if you don’t shove it in my face.”

“I didn’t shove it in your face. I just had it at an odd angle.”

“You mean you weren’t attempting to display your panties for me?”

“No.”

“At least you have some sense of propriety remaining.”

She huffed. “I have plenty of propriety. You on the other hand are spending your afterlife sneaking peeks at women’s panties.”

“Only when they are displayed prominently for me to see.”

“Pervert.”

He smirked.

“Could I have a minute to fold my clothes?” She asked. “I don’t want them to get wrinkled.”

“Could you not use an ironing spell on them when we finish with this meeting?”

“I could, but I don’t like casting it."

"Why not?"

"I have a nasty habit of singeing my clothes..”

“I used to have that problem.”

“Oh?” She picked up the basket.

“Yes,” he answered. “I found an upwards motion was less likely to ruin the clothing than a downward motion.”

“I thought that wouldn’t get the wrinkles out as effectively.” She made her way to the bedroom.

He floated behind her. “Not if you wave your wand slowly enough.”

“You aren’t supposed to linger on the clothes though.”

“True, but taking a half second to run your wand over a particularly difficult area should do the trick.”

She put the basket on the bed.

“If you allow me to take your wand I could show you how to do it.”

She pulled her wand out of the right pocket of her gray sweatpants. He attempted to grasp it, but his hands went right through.

“Please touch my wand.”

He grabbed it, but felt neither the smoothness of the wood nor the crackle of magic. There was no energy coursing through his veins, nor was there the adrenaline of preparing to cast the first spell in years. What he held was nothing more than a stick of wood. It was disconcerting, yet unsurprising given his new reality.

She set a turquoise t-shirt on the bed. He raised an eyebrow. “Angel Cake Bakeoff?”

“It was something from my mother.”

“I suspected as much, given that you do not seem like the type of person who would participate in a bakeoff for your own pleasure.”

“I don’t have the time or the patience for cooking.”

“Understandable. Cooking takes a certain temperament to enjoy, one which you seem to lack.”

“I take it you had the perfect temperament to be a chef.”

“It was one of the few things I could do to relax during the war.”

She burst out laughing. He frowned.

“I’m sorry,” she caught her breath. “I am trying to imagine you ironing out your black clothing while your cookies are baking in the oven.”

“I will have you know that I made amazing cookies.”

She laughed harder.

He crossed his arms over his shoulders. “You would have killed for my sugar cookies.”

“Did you put little sprinkles on them?”

“Of course not. I put a special lemon frosting upon them.”

She silenced herself.

“Then I put the sprinkles on them.”

She covered her mouth, hoping he wouldn’t hear her giggles.

“I had a secret recipe for the icing which I suppose died with me.”

Her humor evaporated.

His glow dulled. “It was quite good, something which in retrospect would’ve benefited a few people had I shared it.”

“Who would you have shared it with?”

He shrugged. “Draco I suppose, though he probably hasn’t so much as seen an oven. Still, he loved my cookies. Every time I visited he would beg me for them.”

“Ginny would have made the cookies. She's an amazing cook.”

“Why would I have given her my recipe? I thought she would marry Potter.”

“A lot has changed since you died.”

“Apparently.”

Silence fell between them.

“Is Draco doing well?” Severus finally whispered.

“He’s doing great,” Ms. Granger answered. “He and Ginny have been married for five years. They have two children, Scorpius and Cassie.”

“Cassie?”

“Her full name is Cassiopeia, but I don’t have enough time in my life to pronounce her name every time I see her.”

Severus couldn’t help but chuckle.

“If you want, I can ask them over sometime,” she offered.

“Why? I cannot interact with them.”

“So? I can talk and play with their kids. You’ll at least see that they’re doing well.

He twisted his lower lip.

"Who knows? They may feel your presence.”

His glow brightened. “I would like that.”

“I haven’t spoken to them in a while anyway. It might be nice to have them over, even if Scorpius isn’t happy that he can’t read what he calls ‘the pwetty wooks.”

Severus smiled. “How old are Scorpius and Cassie?”

“Scorpius turned three last January, and Cassie will turn two in July.”

“I’m happy for him.” Severus’ expression was distant. “He always wanted to be a father. I am glad he finally got the chance to do so.”

“He’s an amazing dad,” Ms. Granger replied. “I feel bad for ever doubting him.”

“Did you oppose him having children?”

“I never said anything to Ginny, but at times I wondered if she knew what she was doing when she announced her pregnancy.”

He shook his head. “I have difficulty seeing him and Ginevra together.”

“At first I did too, but now I think they were destined for each other.”

“That is doubtful. Soulmates are fictitious.”

“I think they are too, but if they exist, Draco and Ginny would be it. They know what the other is thinking before it comes out. Sometimes I don’t think they even use words to communicate.”

Severus hummed.

“Harry and Luna are the same way. They are perfect together.”

“They are an odd couple too.”

“They fit though. Some people are meant for that connection and others…” Ms. Granger sighed. “Others are meant to iron clothes in an upward motion.”

"Yes, I suppose we do need to get on with this ironing," he muttered.

“We do.” She smiled. “I’m beginning to fear it will acknowledge you as its owner instead of me.”

“We can’t have that, now can we.” He purred.

“No, we cannot, so please show me how to iron out my shirt so we can move into research.”

Severus focused on the shirt in front of him and waved the wand upwards. “Calca ridurile.”

Nothing.

He said the phrase again and moved the wand upwards. The shirt remained as it was.

He turned red. “Calca ridurile!”

No change.

"Calca ridurile!"

There was no magic coursing through his body, no power emitting from his essence, or even a twinge of change. Her wand was just another stick in his hands. 

His magic was no more.

He slumped. “Apparently spirits lack magic.”

“Oh.”

“I had hoped there would be at least some magic left.” His glow was blue. "I had hoped something I loved from my earthly life would have remained. Apparently I was mistaken."

“There’s no need to feel bad.” She took the wand from him. “I can learn how to cast the spell myself if you guide me.”

“It isn't your ability to learn that I question," he answered. "I wanted my magic to remain, if only so I could remain myself. All my life I was defined by magic. Without it, who am I?”

"Your Severus Snape, someone who is undergoing a transition but will come out of it stronger than before."

His glow was a dark blue.

“You shouldn't be upset about all this. The afterlife may not be concerned with magic, which may not wholly be a bad thing.”

"I can make shapes out of clouds," he noted. “Then again, Dismas can do that, and I’m certain he was a muggle in life.”

“Maybe spirits have a different kind of magic.”

“True. I can walk through walls and appear anywhere at will. I suppose that’s a type of magic.”

“Who needs magic anyway?”

His glow turned white. “Excuse me?”

“Perhaps I like having magic, but why would you need magic anyway? It isn’t like your robe is in need of cleaning or ironing.”

Severus’ hue lightened. “It is odd to think I have not changed clothing since the day I died.”

“Yet even in death you wear a black tunic.”

“Would I be in any other color?”

“I couldn’t envision you in anything but black. Then again I always thought angels wore white.”

“Everyone else wears white.”

Ms. Granger grinned.

His glow returned to its usual hue. “I suppose even in death one is only themselves. Magic must not have been as big a part of my essence as I had initially believed.”

“Even if you only have spirit magic, you’re still Severus Snape, one of the most brilliant men I’ve ever met, and the best person to help me make a potion.”

“I hope to live up to those statements.”

“You do.”

His glow brightened.

“Who needs laundry anyway?” Hermione strolled to the door. “It can wait.”

“Perhaps I could teach you the motion another way.”

“How?”

“I will watch you do it and critique your technique.”

“I really don’t need to iron now.”

“I beg to differ.”

“You won’t get to heaven until I create a potion and now you want to do laundry?”

“No, I want to be an actual teacher.”

She blinked.

“I demeaned you as a student and squelched any potential you could have had in creating potions. Had it not been for your dad, you never would have come within ten meters of a cauldron after Hogwarts.”

“You were trying to wear a mask to protect us. I understand why you couldn’t be kind to us.”

“Yet I am not wearing a mask now,” he argued. “If Purgatory is meant to help me repair the damage I’ve done, then I should teach you how to iron your clothing and create potions.”

“You don’t need to…”

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay.” She pulled out her wand.

“Now, do an upwards motion from the lower hem of the shirt right up to the neck.”

“Is it diagonal?”

“No, just a straight line.”

She took a deep breath.

“Anytime you are ready, just say the words.”

“Calca ridurile.”

She raised her wand over the shirt and waved it from bottom to top. One by one, the wrinkles straightened.

“Very well done Ms. Granger.” Severus began. “Very well done.”

Ms. Granger’s eyes gleamed. “Thank you, Mr. Snape.”

His glow warmed.

She was an outstanding student.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this early since it'll be a busy afternoon. Still, I thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	17. Chapter 17

While the afterlife improved one’s memory, it did little to improve one’s concentration.

Severus stared at the page. Every time he read the first sentence, his mind wandered to the expression on Ms. Granger’s face after she completed ironing her outfits. He knew she’d been eager to please him, but he had never grasped the full extent of her need for approval. Could he have afforded to give her the attention she so richly deserved during his lifetime though? While she was his student, he needed to project an image and focus upon his spying, yet could he have at least written an encouraging note on her parchments every now and then?

“I still can’t memorize all these names.”

Severus rolled his eyes.

“I have no idea why Plato has so many characters in _The Republic,_ " Sirius whined.

“He created most of them for the sole purpose of confusing you.”

“And I suppose you could name them all.”

“Yes, there’s Socrates of course, Thrasymachus, Polemarcus…”

“Alright I get the point. No need to be a know-it-all show off.”

His mind wandered back to teaching Ms. Granger and the times he’d insulted her. Perhaps he had taken it too far at certain points…

“ _The Republic_ is too long anyway.”

Severus' mind returned to the present. “Then you could do your homework and read _Nicomachean Ethics._ ”

“I would rather watch paint dry.”

“Then ask St. Peter for a coloring book if Greek philosophy is proving too difficult for you.”

“No, I just need another Plato play, one that's easier to read.”

Severus turned the page.

“I said, ‘I need another Plato play.’”

Severus glanced up from his reading. “Are you implying that you want to read _The Timaeus?_ ”

“Is it interesting at all?”

“Only if you like complicated metaphysical systems.”

“I don’t want a book about metaphysical systems, simple or complex.”

“Then you should ask for a coloring book.”

“I don’t need to color, but I would like something simple like _The Trial of Socrates._ At least that was easy to understand.”

“Might I suggest _The Gorgias?_ ”

Sirius’ glow brightened. “Is that the name of a mythical monster? I could really go for an action story right about now.”

“No, he’s a sophist.”

“A what?”

“A rhetorician.”

Sirius scowled. “You don’t need to prove you’re smarter than anyone by using technical terms.”

“I am not. I’m simply defining his profession.”

“What is his profession?”

“You truly don’t know what a rhetorician does?”

Sirius’ glow became a dull red. “No you perfect one, I do not.”

Severus closed his book. “A rhetorician is someone who argues for a living. They are unconcerned with the truth, only in what they can convince people of.”

“So they’re like politicians?”

“The most successful politicians are rhetoricians anyway.”

Sirius’ glow returned to its normal hue.

“If you want to understand fully the setup to _The Republic,_ you should read _The Gorgias._ It discusses the themes Socrates will tackle. Plus there aren’t too many characters to keep track of."

“Where is it?”

Severus grabbed a green book and gave it to Sirius.

“Thank you.”

Severus’ glow intensified. “Did I just hear you using manners?”

“Why are you so surprised?" Sirius asked. "I know how to use manners.”

“You could have fooled me.”

“I’m no more impolite than you are.”

“I would beg to differ.”

Sirius picked up the book and frowned. “At least I’m not an arrogant arse.”

“Careful Black. You could succeed in our mission and still get purgatory time because you cannot refrain from snide comments.”

Sirius muttered something, but Severus thought it wise not to ask what it was. Instead he opened his book again.

“Your glow is duller than usual.”

Severus looked up and raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve noticed since you came back Friday night that your glow is duller. I was wondering if there’s a reason for it.”

“I do not understand how glows work, so I couldn’t tell you what is affecting it.”

“So there is something you don’t know.”

Severus glared at him.

“I never thought I’d see the day Severus Snape admitted he was ignorant of anything." Sirius sneered.

“I will propose a hypothesis though."

"Oh this'll be good."

"Perhaps I am more relaxed than I have been all week. It is quite pleasant to read without Ms. Granger yapping in my ear, though my stress levels do rise every time you start to whine.”

“Is there a reason you are always short with me?”

“If you expect me to be short with you then why do you continue to speak to me?”

“Because Purgatory is boring, and I’m desperate for anything interesting, even if it involves being insulted.”

“Reading is just as entertaining as speaking with me. Why don’t you engage in that?”

Sirius held up his book. “You’re right, I would rather wade through these names than deal with you.”

Severus returned his attention to his book, hoping to distract himself from the memories of his week with Ms. Granger.

He was failing.

***

Hermione panted as she appeared before her parents’ house. When she’d sent them to Australia without their memories, she never considered that they would enjoy the warmer climate enough to stay. The distance may have kept them safe during the war, but it was hell apparating across several continents.

The white screen door opened. “Hermione?”

She caught her breath and trudged over to the entrance. “Hello Mum.”

“Oh dear.” Her mother stepped onto the concrete deck. “Did you overexert yourself again?”

“No,” Hermione gasped. “I’m just not used to apparating that long of a distance.”

“You’ve been saying that for six years now.” Her mother embraced her.

Hermione returned the hug. “In six more maybe I’ll be used to it.”

Her mother rubbed her back.

“Where is Dad?”

“Your father is in the bedroom. He was trying to stay awake for you, though I don’t know if he’s succeeded.”

“How is he doing?”

“He’s just as ornery as usual.” The women broke apart. “Most days he has energy, but he slows down in the evenings.”

“Is he taking his medication?”

Her mother led her inside. “He does, though he makes it clear he doesn’t like it.”

“That’s Dad.” The door clicked behind them.

“Hermione?”

Her mother’s lips curled up. “At least his hearing isn’t impaired.”

“Thank goodness.”

“I don’t know if he’ll consider it good news given that now I know he’s not going deaf but ignoring me.”

“I can hear both of you.”

The clacking of a walker echoed throughout the room. Her mother gasped. “Wilford, you need to rest.”

“I’m fine, Muriel.” He huffed. “I need to see my baby girl more than I need sleep.”

Hermione grinned as her father hobbled out. “Hello Dad.”

He outstretched his arms. “Come here.”

“I shouldn’t hug you so soon after a surgery.”

“Pat me on the shoulder then.”

Her face lit up as she did so.

“You must be hungry after your journey,” Muriel noted. “I can make us some sandwiches.”

“Actually I’d like some leftover pizza,” Wilford cut in.

“We don’t have any leftover pizza.”

“Don’t we have some left in the fridge?”

“It was a week ago. I threw it out.”

“I’ll settle for some fish sticks, then.”

“Do you realize how much salt and fat those contain?”

“Do you realize I want to eat food instead of grass?”

Muriel sighed. “I’ll make you a salad.”

“Fine, but after that I’m taking Hermione to the store so we can pick up some actual food.” He winked at his daughter.

She giggled.

“The doctors don’t want you driving for another week.”

“She can drive me.”

“I don’t know how to drive,” Hermione argued.

“It’s an easy enough skill to pick up on,” Wilford answered.

Muriel shook her head.

“Come on.” Wilford made his way into the living room. “I’ll explain how to start a car. You can take it from there.”

“Aren’t you going to teach her how to use a steering wheel?”

“She’s the brightest witch of her age. She can drive a car.”

Muriel threw up her hands before strolling into the kitchen.

Wilford chuckled. “I love your mother, but I swear she is taking this health food thing too far.”

“She has every reason to worry.” Hermione lowered her voice.

“I know.” He exhaled.

“We want you to stay with us for a while.”

“I suppose I do want to stick around for a little while longer too, if only to keep your and your mother’s lives interesting.”

“You should.” Hermione held out her hands. “Do you need help…”

“No,” Wilford maneuvered himself into the blue recliner. “I’ve got it.”

She stood over him until she was certain he was comfortable. Then she moved his walker just enough to keep it from hitting his legs.

“Thank you, sweetie.” He took a deep breath.

“Be honest with me,” Hermione swallowed. “How are you doing?”

“Much better now that I’m out of that hospital,” he admitted. “I was getting sick of being woken up every three hours, and the food left something to be desired.”

“I would imagine.”

“Still, your mother was great company, and she always made sure I had a good book to read.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you more.”

“No, you needed to live your own life and run your bookstore.”

Hermione sat in the whicker rocking chair across from him. “I know, but I should’ve done more.”

“I want you to live your life, not put it on hold for me.”

“I’ve been living my life anyway.”

Wilford cocked his head. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means.” She squirmed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, except,” her voice was softer. “I have a new partner in my heart strengthening potion.”

“That’s great news, though I’m sure you were capable of finding it on your own.”

“Yes, but he’s a little uh, unorthodox.”

“Aren’t all academics a little unusual?”

“Yes, but he’s a little otherworldly.”

“There’s nothing wrong with someone spiritual.”

“No, I mean he’s _extremely_ spiritual.” She drawled.

“Is he half insane?” Wilford twisted his lower lip.

“No, he’s another kind of spiritual.”

“Is he a ghost?”

“More or less.”

He shook his head. “I swear every time I think I have the Wizarding World figured out you throw another curve ball at me.”

“In my defense, I wasn’t expecting to work with a spirit," she argued.

“They don’t tend to help the living with their problems, but as long as the task gets done then who am I to complain?”

“Don’t you think it’s weird that I’m working with a spirit?” She lowered her voice.

“I thought it was weird when you were levitating books at the age of four." He shrugged. "This is mild by comparison.”

“I know, but it’s odd to think I’m working with him.”

“Does he know what he’s doing?”

“Yes.”

“Is he pleasant enough to be around?”

“More pleasant than I thought he’d be.”

“Then keep working with him." Wilford replied. "Who knows? He could be good for you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Wilford leaned closer to her. “It means you’re never nervous about telling me about someone unless you like them.”

Hermione burst out laughing. “Oh no, I would never be interested in this spirit.”

“Why not?”

“He is my former potions professor, Severus Snape.”

Wilford's eyes grew. “The professor who used to call you an ‘Insufferable Know-It-All?’”

“Yes.”

“Is he still insulting you?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“No, he’s much better behaved now.”

“Tell him if he mistreats you, I know where to get holy water."

"Holy water?" Hermione choked back a giggle.

"Yes," Wilford's expression betrayed no playfulness. "I may be a muggle, but I’m certain I can take him on.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know that you’ll sprinkle holy water on him and whack him with your walker if he mistreats me.”

“If he knows what’s best for him that will be enough incentive to treat you like a princess.”

“I’m sure it will be.”

“Wilford! Hermione! Dinner is ready.”

She stood. “Do you need any help?”

“No, I’m fine.”

After a few moments of struggle, he stood.

“If you need any help, don’t hesitate to call me. I will do whatever I can." She smiled.

He touched his daughter’s cheek. “Just be happy. That’s all I want for you.”

“I am happy.”

“Good.” He removed his hands from her. “Now, let’s go eat some grass.”

Hermione’s eyes glistened. “Sure.”

Together, they made their way to the kitchen, where Muriel had a meal of salad and sandwiches prepared.

It was more delicious than Wilford cared to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	18. Chapter 18

The Trinity was unfair.

Sirius threw _The Gorgias_ across the room _._ His glow was bright orange.

Plato argued that the judges of the dead were supposed to be impartial. Defendants stood naked before them. That should have allowed the character of the defendant to remain the focus. Every deed would be discussed, and balanced against each other. The judges were supposed to be appalled by terrible behavior such as pureblood supremacy and murder. The promise of an afterlife was supposed to deter bad behavior, not overlook it.

Instead, Sirius, and presumably Severus, had been clothed during the trial, as had the Trinity. They went over every mistake Sirius had ever made, but didn’t take the beauty of his soul into account. His soul had to be more attractive than Severus’. Why couldn’t the Trinity behave more like Plato’s judges?

Why were they so unfair?

Sirius glowered at the couch.

Why was everyone in the afterlife taking the side of an ex-Death Eater?

***

It was still odd to eat in front of a spirit.

Hermione took a bite of her leftover red chicken curry while Mr. Snape reread her notes. He scratched his chin before crossing his legs.

As she took a bite, Hermione remembered all the times her mother had told her how rude it was to snack in front of others. If one had food, she needed to offer it to others, not eat as if the other person did not exist. Still, the man across the table from her couldn’t even smell her meal, nor did his mouth water at the memory of its taste. It was as if the food wasn’t in the room.

“I think dittany may be part of our solution, though I hesitate to say that it is the only ingredient we will need,” he did not look up from the parchment.

“After listening to you, I agree it holds promise.” She took another bite.

“We may need another ingredient though.”

“We could try leeches.”

“Why would we do that?” He set her notes on the table.

“Leeches release peptides which help prevent blood clots. That could prove useful.”

“That is an intriguing concept.”

She took a sip of milk.

“Of course dittany and leeches can make the potion too acidic.”

“Shouldn’t the antimony help stabilize the Ph level?”

“In theory yes, though if we put too much in we risk weakening the properties of the unicorn hair.”

“And if we use too much unicorn hair, then we risk outpouring the venom.”

“You are a quick study.”

“I’ve studied under one of the best potions masters in the world.”

His glow brightened. “You truly believe that.”

“Why would I not believe it?” She stabbed her chicken with her fork. “Your credentials speak for themselves.”

“There is more to being a great teacher than academic achievements.”

“You’re right. In your case you also needed to save our lives on an almost daily basis. That you excelled at, which made you an excellent professor.”

His lips curled up. “I suppose I did save you more than a few times.”

“You saved me more often than I count.”

“I believe I saved you nine hundred ninty-nine times.”

“How did you reach that number?”

“I have my ways.”

“Care to explain them?”

“They’re a spiritual secret.”

“Sure,” she drawled.

His glow became a warm yellow as she ate in silence.

“Why do you run a bookstore?”

She glanced up from her plate.

“When Dismas announced that I was to visit your house, I thought you were teaching at Hogwarts. I never expected you to be running a bookstore.”

“I’ve always loved books. It seemed natural for me to own my own bookstore.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

She set down her fork.

“Many people like books, me being one of them. Still, most of us do not so much as consider owning a bookstore.”

“I’m different. I love books enough to sell them.”

“You have the potential to be so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

"I give myself plenty of credit." She frowned. "My store is one of the most profitable in Hogsmeade. I run things very well."

“Of course you do. I did not mean it the way it came out.” His glow dimmed. “I only meant that I expected your name to be in academic journals, for you to be famous for creating new spells and proposing new theories. Why can you not run a successful bookstore and create academic theories in your spare time?”

She snorted. “Because I’m sick of being famous. If I see my name in one more publication I'm going to scream.”

He closed his mouth.

“That’s one reason I like being behind a desk, I don’t need to face anyone. I can run my business as I see fit and not have to interact with anyone except for Beatrice and maybe a few books sellers. Otherwise I’m alone, which is the way I like it.”

“I never suspected you would enjoy a solitary life.”

“I enjoy my privacy. If I must be alone to maintain it then so be it.”

“I had the same reasoning in life.”

“I’d imagine you miss your solitude being locked in with Sirius when I am not around.”

“You haven’t the foggiest clue.”

She took another sip of milk. “Perhaps in heaven you’ll finally be left alone.”

“I do not know if that will be the case. From everything I’ve heard, spirits enjoy their time together. The second I pass the pearly gates is the second I will be swarmed by others eager to give me a tour of the place.”

“Perhaps you won’t miss you privacy then.”

“I think I’ll miss it more than ever. Then again," he paused. "If I’m supposed to be in eternal bliss then I should be able to wander off on my own every once in awhile.”

She smiled. “I could almost see you sitting alone on some cloud, meditating on some potion, enjoying your solitude.”

“When you put it that way, that would be akin to hell."

“How?”

“I could think of every potential potion in existence, perhaps even know how to brew them. Yet I won’t have anyone to share my knowledge with.”

“Heaven probably doesn’t need many potions.”

“No, but earth does. I will know all the answers, yet the knowledge would be useless since I cannot help anyone.”

Her voice softened. “Perhaps that’s why you came down here; to give the world one last gift.”

“It seems so small now.” His glow grew dimmer. “When I think of what I could have done had I not joined the Death Eaters, it makes me wonder if I squandered my life.”

“If you hadn’t joined them, there would’ve been nobody to spy for us. Had there been no spy, then we never would have defeated Voldemort.”

“Perhaps there is some accuracy in that statement.”

“It is a very accurate assessment and you know it.”

His eyes betrayed his doubt.

“I know from Dante and the little Catholic theology I took that Purgatory is a place to rethink one’s life, but it shouldn’t be a place to beat yourself up. You should be preparing to release your pain so you can join heaven.”

“That’s much easier said than done.”

“You’ve beaten yourself up so much in your life. In some ways, your whole life has been Purgatory.”

“Jesus said as much during my trial. He said I had been more purified than many souls who’d spent eight centuries in Purgatory.”

“Then release your pain and allow yourself to be happy.”

Mr. Snape twisted his lower lip.

“I mean it. Stop thinking about what you didn’t do and focus on the peace you deserve.”

“I will, provided you do a favor for me.”

“What?”

“Stop settling.”

“I’m not settling.”

“Yes, you are.”

She swallowed.

“You could accomplish so much more than you are now. If you wanted, you could be the greatest researcher the Wizarding World has ever seen, along with selling the textbooks others use to make their own great discoveries. Stop doubting yourself and start living your life.”

“I am living my life.”

“You’re surviving your life, not living it.”

She took another bite of her curry.

“One day you will be in my position, and the Trinity is going to ask you how you lived your life. Do you want to spend even a moment of your afterlife considering all you’ve done with some obnoxious dog barking in your ear?”

“Does Sirius still become a dog?”

“No, though he’d be quieter if he did. At least then I could make a muzzle out of the clouds and put it on him.”

Hermione covered her mouth and laughed.

Mr. Snape’s glow brightened.

“I am sorry they put you in a room with him. I can only imagine what he’s putting you through.”

“I regret being placed with him but,” he grinned. “I do not regret being tasked with helping you.”

“Really?”

He shrugged. “You are an adequate companion.”

She burst out laughing. “I love it when you use that word. It’s so you.”

His glow softened.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you were tasked with helping me too. It’s made my life much more interesting.”

“Be careful Ms. Granger. I could make your life more interesting than you might like.”

She sat up straighter. “I think I can manage it.”

“I suppose you can.”

Hermione took a sip of her milk, confident that she could handle whatever Mr. Snape and the Trinity had in store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	19. Chapter 19

Severus’ glow was brighter than it had been for the last few days. He was not walking, but floating a few centimeters off the ground. There was even a hint of a smile on his face.

If Sirius could have vomited, he would have done so.

Severus sat upon the couch and glanced at Sirius. “What is upsetting you?"

Sirius glowered at him.

"Were the words too big in _The Gorgias_?”

“Everyone’s an idiot compared to you, aren’t they?” Sirius growled.

“Not everyone is an idiot, only people on your intellectual level.”

Sirius’ glow was a dark red.

Severus picked up his copy of Aristotle’s _Metaphysics._

“You don’t care about me, do you?”

“I thought we established that fact many years ago.”

“Why don’t you admit that you hate me?”

“Why should I tell you things you already know?”

“Just dismiss me again! That’s what you do to everyone around you!” Sirius threw up his hands.

“From what I understand, you don’t have fond feelings towards me," Severus muttered.

“You’re right, I can’t stand the sight of you.”

“Then why don’t you close your mouth and read, or better yet, think of ways to improve your spying techniques?”

Sirius folded his hands over his chest.

Severus rolled his eyes before refocusing his attention on his book.

“I’m done reading _The Gorgias."_

“That was fast.” Severus glanced up.

“It was an interesting read.”

“It was one of my favorite Platonic dialogues too.”

“Oh so now you want to be friendly.”

“I am so confused." Severus set the book down. "Do you want to be my friend or berate me?”

“I want to discuss _The Gorgias.”_

“Then do so in a civilized manner.”

“Do you want to know what I learned from it?”

“Do I have a choice but to listen to your analysis?”

“I learned that the afterlife is the most unjust system imaginable!”

“Why would that be?” Severus’ tone was that of pure boredom.

“Because horrible people like you get only a century in Purgatory whereas good people like me are left in purgatory for a millennium, and are constantly threatened with more Purgatory time!" Sirius argued. "Everyone kisses your arse, but nobody ever gives me credit for the things I did right!”

“This sounds like a problem best taken up with St. Peter or the Trinity.”

“I will take it up with them as soon as I’m done with you!”

Severus slid the book away from him.

Sirius stood and pointed to Severus. “It’s your fault that I’m here! Everything that’s happened to me is your fault!”

“You’re right. If I hadn’t agreed to be in this program with you, then you would be rotting in Purgatory watching your life play before your eyes for a millennium.” Severus smirked. "Truly I am a horrible person for helping you escape that situation."

“Oh yes, Severus the savior, Severus the saint, Severus the greatest man who’s ever lived, second only to the Trinity themselves!”

“Is there a point to this rant?”

“You need to be brought to justice!”

“I am being brought to justice.”

“No you aren’t!” Sirius shouted. “Your victims are as dead as we are, and you’ve left a trail of broken hearted students in your wake! Still, I’m the evil one!”

“I swear if I was alive you would be giving me such a migraine right now.”

“You deserve much more than a headache!”

Severus glared at Sirius. “If you don’t want to work on this mission anymore you know how to call St. Peter or Dismas. I’m sure they can have a room in Purgatory ready for you by tomorrow morning.”

“No, because then I’d get no time off Purgatory, and they may add more time for refusing to work with you." Sirius' glow intensified. "I am not going back there for a millennium!”

“Then I’d suggest you shut your mouth and find something more productive to do than yell at me.”

“This isn’t yelling, it’s academic conversation. I’m expressing my thoughts on _The Gorgias!”_

“So far all you’ve done is shout about how unfair you think our sentences are.”

“Yes,” Sirius snarled. “If I had been judged by Plato’s judges, if they could only look at the beauty of my soul, and the things I did, at the way people felt about me, then I would be in heaven.”

“Actually, I think the Trinity was an excellent judge of your character," Severus replied. "The only question I have for them is why you aren’t damned.”

“They said there was just enough love in me not to be damned, but I needed to learn atonement for my actions.”

“Once again, I agree with them wholeheartedly. You are an unrepentant asshole who throws temper tantrums as if he was a toddler.”

"Unrepentant?

"Yes, I have yet to hear you apologize for any of your past mistakes."

“What do I have to be sorry for compared to you?" Sirius snapped. "I never killed, I never stole, I never said a bad thing against muggleborns. The only thing I ever did was wrong was say a few mean things to you.”

Severus snorted. “In other words, you’re angry because someone finally called you out on your behavior, and Dumbledore wasn’t there to bail you out.”

“Everything I did was so minor compared to you.”

Severus’ glow became neon red. “Your treatment of me was not minor, and you know it.”

“I never bought into pureblood supremacy. I defended muggleborns, at least when it was convenient for me. Did that not count for anything?”

“Doing the bare minimum is not enough in the afterlife.”

“I never killed!”

“You attempted to murder me!”

Sirius closed his mouth.

Severus stood. “You accuse me of arrogance, yet you take no time to reflect upon yourself! Yes, I murdered, but I never considered using an unwitting friend to do the deed for me.”

Sirius’ glow became orange.

“You were more than wiling to have Lupin kill me that night in the shack.”

“That was just a prank!”

“Would you have minded if I died at his hands?”

Sirius’ glow lessened.

“Lupin trusted you to care for him during his episodes. You were willing to betray that trust in one of the most heinous ways possible, yet you are so self-righteous you cannot admit that what you did may have been even slightly unethical.”

“Fine,” Sirius argued. “The Trinity didn’t like that. I will admit that it might not have been my finest moment."

"That's putting it mildly."

"But that isn’t the only reason they sent me to purgatory. In fact, I don’t even think that’s the main reason.”

“What was the main reason?”

“They couldn’t take a joke!”

“You were dumb enough to joke with them during the trial?” Severus raised an eyebrow.

“No, I laughed when Metatron brought up hanging you from the tree.”

Severus’ eyes grew.

“When Metatron mentioned that I hung you upside, all I could think of was your expression and your filthy underpants.” Sirius snickered. “I know you won’t agree with me, but it was hilarious.”

Severus’ voice was soft. “You are the biggest dunderhead alive.”

“Oh there’s a shocking opinion coming from you.”

“Do you have any idea who you were talking to?”

“Yeah, the Trinity.”

"Do you know who makes up the Trinity?"

"The creator, redeemer, and sanctifier?"

"What is the redeemer's name?"

"Jesus," Sirius was red again. "You don't have to treat me like I'm three." 

“Jesus died by crucifixion!”

Sirius gave him a blank look.

“He was hung from a tree while people mocked him. Don’t you think my situation resonated with him?”

“Yeah, but they were trying to kill him. I wasn’t trying to kill you.”

"Not that day anyway."

"Fine, I tried to kill you. Still, there's a difference between what happened to him and you."

“What is the difference?” Severus snapped. “You still hung someone, stripped him, and mocked him! At heart, it's the same action.”

“I was just joking.”

“I’m sure the centurions told him they were just joking when they scourged him and gambled away his clothes.”

“I,” Sirius’ glow dimmed. “I’m nothing like them.”

“How?”

"I didn't want to kill anyone."

"That day you didn't mean to kill anyone, but given the chance you would have had me dead," Severus argued. "At heart, you are no different than the centurions who hung him."

“I…” Sirius’ glow pulsated. “I’m not like them.”

“How?”

“I’m not like them!”

“How?” Severus yelled. “How are you not like them?”

Sirius opened his mouth, but no words came.

“If I was confronted with someone who used a snake to kill another I would damn them because I know how painful the experience is! You only got one millennium in Purgatory, yet you behave as if all your sins should be ignored!”

“They were jokes,” Sirius squeaked. “They were just jokes.”

“Nobody up here finds them funny.” Severus sat.

Sirius’ glow was almost nonexistent.

“You were praised all your life for being a Gryffindor and doing the bare minimum to be a decent person. Now you’re somewhere where none of it matters. The Trinity doesn’t care about one’s house, and they sure as hell don’t think the bare minimum is enough when you strip, hang and mock someone then laugh about doing so.”

Sirius bowed his head.

“I’m sure everything I say will go over your head, but as far as I’m concerned, one millennium is not enough time. You deserved a couple more, or eternal damnation.”

Sirius shrank.

“I’m going to read. I’d suggest you consider how to improve your spying skills in the meantime, or at least keep quiet.” Severus picked up his book and removed his eyes from the other spirit.

Sirius did not say another word all night. Instead he stared into space, wondering who he truly was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	20. Chapter 20

No restaurant could compare with Luna’s fajitas. None of them were even close. The steak was rubbed with the right amount and mixture of spices, and the tabasco made from scratch was peppery without inflaming one’s mouth. Only the freshest vegetables were used, a rare staple of Hermione’s diet.

Hermione made sure Luna was aware of her appreciation.

“I’m just glad I could fix you something fresh,” Luna took a spoonful of fajita mix onto her tortilla.

“Yes,” Harry added. “I was telling Luna yesterday that I don’t know what you’ll do once we have James. You’ll probably forget what vegetables taste like.”

“That’s not true,” Hermione answered. “I order a salad every now and then.”

“How often is ‘every now and then?’”

“Whenever I’m in the mood.”

“Which is about once a month.”

Hermione gave him a playful pout. He chuckled before taking a bite of his fajita.

Luna gazed at Hermione. “Maybe someone will come along and teach Hermione how to cook.”

She blushed. “Perhaps someone will.”

“Oh yes.” Harry swallowed. “Like your gentleman friend.”

Hermione shook her head.

“You never did tell me his name.”

“I didn’t find it important. You wouldn’t know him anyway.”

“I know more people than you realize.”

“Believe me, you wouldn’t know him.”

“The only way we’ll find out if I know him or not is if you give me his name.”

Hermione felt the color drain from her face.

“Leave her alone, Harry,” Luna gazed at Hermione. “He may wish to remain anonymous for his own reasons.”

“Maybe he has his reasons, but I’m Hermione’s best friend. I should know who this bloke it. She doesn’t wear that little black dress for just anyone.”

“Wearing it for him was nothing special.”

“Are you certain of that?”

“Yes.”

Harry stared at her.

“I told you, it was laundry day. I didn’t have anything else presentable, so I wore that.”

“Sure,” Harry drawled before taking another bite.

Hermione resumed eating.

“Can you at least tell me what he’s like?” Harry asked.

“Are you sure you want to know the answer ?” Luna warned.

“Why wouldn’t I want to about the new man in Hermione's life?”

“There are some things which should remain private.”

Harry cocked his head. “Why should this remain private?”

“Because nothing is happening between him and me!”

The Potters turned their attention to her.

“Fine, I admit it, I may have been interested in him on some level."

"On what level?" Luna raised an eyebrow.

"Not a deep one."

"Sure," Mrs. Potter drawled.

"Look, the truth is so embarrassing I don't want to talk about it."

"What is the truth?" Harry asked.

"The truth is that I’m embarrassed about wearing the black dress because I read the situation wrong. My research partner is unavailable.”

“Oh?” Luna asked.

“Yes, he’s only living here temporarily. The second he can go home is the second he is out of my life.”

“I’m sure you can stay in touch,” Luna noted. 

“Trust me, he wants nothing to do with anything involving Britain once he leaves. In fact, I'm certain he hates it here.”

“Why does he hate Britain?” Harry asked.

“It’s a complicated story, but he does not want to stay here for long.”

“If he’s so eager to leave, why is he helping you?”

“He feels strongly about my project, and decided to help.”

“How did he find out about it? You haven’t exactly been soliciting people’s help.”

“He came into my bookshop buying a potions book when I just so happened to be organizing shelves. We got talking about new theories, one thing led to another, and now he’s helping me.”

“And you unsuccessfully tried to seduce him.”

“No! I was just trying to impress him.” She groaned. “Looking back it was stupid. He’s distant by nature, and I’m pretty sure he’s in love with someone else.”

Harry’s eyes softened. “I’m sorry. I should’ve known more before pushing you to tell me about him.”

She shrugged. “You were only curious and trying to be a good friend.”

“Yes, but sometimes I forget about how sensitive your personal life is, and I push too hard. I’m sorry.”

“Really it’s no big deal,” Hermione grinned. “It was quite hilarious when he told me to stop trying so hard and put on more comfortable clothing.”

“He told you to change clothes?”

“Yes, but he seemed to like the t-shirt and sweatpants. He likes it when I’m comfortable.”

“That’s an interesting statement.”

“Indeed it is,” Luna hummed.

Hermione glanced at the pregnant woman. From her expression, it was clear she was only playing along. It made Hermione wonder if she felt more uncomfortable lying to Harry, or knowing Luna had no intention of revealing the truth.

“Anyway with that misunderstanding out of the way, we’re working with each other very professionally.”

“Has he treated you well?” Luna asked.

“Very well. He’s more pleasant to work with that any other man has ever been.”

“That’s so great to hear,” Harry replied.

Hermione relaxed.

“It’s great to have other friends, even if it won’t develop into anything more. I would never want you to be alone.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Harry put his fajita down. “For years you’ve practically had a ‘fuck off world’ tattoo on your face. Other than us, Beatrice, and the Malfoys, you don’t open up to anyone.”

“I have my reasons for that.”

“I know, and they’re good ones. Still, you shut others out who may not have the terrible intentions you accuse them of having.”

“If this is about Cormac…”

“No, I’m talking about other men who find you fascinating.”

“What other men?”

“People who tell me how much they’d like to get to know you, and the men who try to flirt with you in the store."

"You mean the ones who distract me from my job?" She rolled her eyes.

"They're trying to be friendly," Harry argued.

"They're trying to distract me."

"True, but not the way you think."

She suppressed a groan.

"They find you fascinating, but you slam the door in their face before they can get to know you.”

“First of all, they find me fascinating because I’m a member of the Golden Trio. As far as Hermione the person, they couldn’t care less.”

“I don’t think that’s true of all of them.”

“It’s true for most of them though.”

“Even if that is true, it doesn’t change my concerns.”

“What would those be?” 

Luna shifted in her seat and folded her hands. Harry pursed his lips.

"What concerns do you have about me?" Hermione asked.

“I worry about you being alone," Harry's voice was soft.

“Why would you worry about that?”

Harry put a hand on his wife’s abdomen. “Luna and I are having a baby soon.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“James isn’t just going to change our lives, but yours as well.”

“Of course he is. I get to play the role of fun godmother to him.”

“Yes,” Luna cut in as Harry removed his hand from her. “But we will no longer be able to be your social life, at least not like we have been.”

Hermione frowned.

“You don’t need to be married or have children,” Luna continued. “Still, you need to consider that some people are an unexpected gift from above. You shouldn’t take them for granted.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Hermione replied.

“You should,” Harry replied.

“I know my life will change after James is born, but it’s still surreal to think about you two having a baby.”

“Trust me, it is for us too.”

“Yes,” Luna put a napkin over her sauce filled plate.

Hermione sighed. "I know things are going to change, but I don't know what to do once it happens."

“I’ve found that when I need to make a change, a list helps," Luna offered.

“Okay,” Hermione drawled.

“If you could have the ideal person in your life, what would it look like?”

“Are you talking friend or lover?”

“You brought up lover, not me.”

“But you were thinking it.”

“Harry may have been, but I still never said that.”

Harry smirked and held his wife’s hand.

“Fine,” Hermione took a sip of her beer. “I would like a friend who accepts me for who I am without caring about my past. Well, that isn’t entirely accurate. I want him to appreciate me as a survivor without becoming enamored with the potential fame I could bring him. He needs to be a support system, but not someone who is overly dependent on me. At times, he needs to open himself up to me, so I have a chance to reciprocate his affections. I want him to have his own life and interests, yet still take interest in mine. I want him to be a partner in every sense of the word.”

“That sounds like what Luna and I have,” Harry replied.

“I envy you two, I really do,” Hermione exhaled.

“Do you have any other ideas for the ideal man?” Luna asked.

“He also needs to have a mind, and must enjoy reading. I want someone I could read with beside a fireplace in silence for hours, just taking comfort in his presence.”

“If he was a lover your could read and let the tension build until it bursts,” Harry teased.

Hermione’s eyes gleamed. “Now there’s an idea.”

Luna hummed.

Hermione took a deep breath. “It's too bad that man doesn’t exist.”

“I don’t know,” Luna gave her a small smile. “I think there’s someone out there who is perfect for you. All you have to do is find a way to be with him.”

Hermione swallowed

The peck of an owl sounded from the sitting room.

Harry rose. “Excuse me, ladies.”

“You’re excused,” Luna replied.

He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Be back soon.”

“Okay,” Hermione muttered.

The owl pecked again.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” Harry muttered as he rushed to the window.

Hermione leaned across the table and whispered, “Why haven’t you told him aboutSeverus Snape?”

“It isn’t my truth to tell,” Luna whispered back.

“Well, thank you. He doesn’t need to know.”

“I would disagree with that, but I know you’ll tell him in your own time.”

“No, it’s for the best that he doesn’t know.”

“It’s for the best he doesn’t know now, but that will not always be the case.”

Hermione blinked.

“Sorry about that.” Harry reentered the room. “Somebody had a question about handling some evidence.”

“If I need to leave…”

“No, it can wait. He told me as much, but wanted to write the letter while it was on his mind.”

“I don’t want to keep you from your work.” She stood.

“I think you’re just chickening out because you know I’ll beat you at poker again.”

She turned around. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“I’ve beaten you four out of the last five times we’ve played.”

“And you’re afraid your luck is going to run out.”

Hermione grinned. “Get out the cards.”

Harry laughed as he stood. Luna massaged her stomach.

Perhaps James would change their lives, but for now, she would cherish all the time she could spend with the Potters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	21. Chapter 21

Sirius was still dark blue when he returned. He was hunched over, and did not make contact with Severus, instead choosing to stand in the corner of the room.

“How is Ms. Granger?” Severus asked.

“Fine.”

“Is she just fine?”

"I guess so."

"You guess so?"

Sirius shrugged. “She had a typical day at work. All she did was fill out paperwork and restock some shelves. The only interesting thing she did was explain to an angry customer why she wasn’t selling _Severus Snape: Saint or Scoundrel?_ anymore.”

“Did she give the real reason she feels as if she cannot sell the book?”

“Not entirely. She just that you were a hero and she didn’t feel comfortable desecrating your name for a galleon.”

Severus braced himself for the inevitable tirade against his alleged perfection.

“Can I have _Nicomachean Ethics_?” Sirius’ glow did not change color.

Between his wording and the quiet tone of voice, Severus wasn’t quite sure he’d heard him right.

"I said," Sirius glanced up. “Can I please have _Nicomachean Ethics_?”

“Certainly.” Severus picked it up from the bottom of the book pile. “Hopefully the concepts will not prove too complex for you.”

Sirius took the book.

Severus watched as he turned to the first page. “Is that it? No snide comment, no little jab at me?”

Sirius didn’t look up.

“You’re hiding something from me," Severus lowered his voice.

He kept his eyes on the book.

“What happened to Ms. Granger?” Severus demanded. “What are you not telling me?”

“Nothing happened.” Sirius looked up. “Hermione had a good, uneventful day.”

From his expression, it was clear that the dog was telling the truth. That did not explain why he was so quiet though.

“Are you feeling well?” Severus asked.

“What kind of question is that?” Sirius’ frown deepened. “I’m a spirit, I can’t feel unwell.”

“I am aware of how spirits function.”

Sirius’ glow dulled.

“Still I have never been in a room with you for longer than two minutes without you babbling incessantly about some asinine topic.”

“Perhaps it’s time for a change.”

Severus' eyebrow was raised almost to his hairline.

Sirius glanced at the wall. “It’s almost seven. You wouldn’t want to miss your appointment with Ms. Granger.”

“Indeed,” Severus stood.

“Good luck. I hope things go well.”

Severus stared at him.

Sirius returned his attention to the book.

“Yes, well good luck with reading.”

“Thanks.”

With that, Severus disappeared.

***

For the first time since they’d begun meeting, Ms. Granger was in her living room at the proper time wearing the proper attire of jeans and a burgundy sweater.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked.

“No reason.” He sat beside her. “I’m just surprised you are ready for our meeting on time.”

“We’ve been doing this long enough that I know the routine by now.”

“True."

"Is there something wrong with being on time?"

"No." He shook his head. "I've just had an odd day."

“What is an odd day in Purgatory?”

“It looks the same as a normal day, but much quieter.”

She blinked.

“Sirius has been quiet and is taking an actual interest in performing his mission.”

“What exactly is Sirius’ mission?”

Before Severus could answer, a knock resounded throughout the house.

“I'll get it,” She muttered before standing.

Severus followed a few steps behind.

She peeked through the small hole. Her skin lost its color as she shook.

“What’s wrong?” Severus asked.

“It’s a complicated situation, one I really don’t wish to explain.”

“Open up Hermione! I see you in there!”

She gulped.

“Let me in.”

Hermione did not touch the doorknob.

“I’ll start singing unless you open the door.”

She groaned.

“Oh my love! My darling! I've hungered for your touch!”

Ms. Granger flung open the door. “What do you want?”

Severus had never noticed how oily Mr. McLaggen’s smile was until that moment. The fact that he’d used too much grease on his perfectly parted hair wasn’t helping dispel the image of a used car salesman.

“I wanted to say hello.” He pulled out a bouquet of red roses from behind his back. “And give you these.”

“Thank you,” she drawled.

Severus craned his neck to get a better view. He had to give Mr. McLaggen credit, they were quite fresh.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was in the neighborhood and thought, ‘why not pay Hermione a visit? She may be busy, but why not see her anyway?’”

She frowned. “I’m actually quite busy.”

“With what?”

“With various things.”

“Like what?”

“Right now, I am cooking, dusting, amongst other things It's very time consuming.”

“That’s unfortunate,” he pushed himself past her. “Of course if you need someone to help you, I’m free.”

“I find it difficult to envision you using a vacuum.”

“Oh you’ll find that I am quite a good cleaner.”

Severus suppressed a chuckle at the image of McLaggen in a French maid’s uniform using a feather duster on an old vase.

“I also clean up well.” McLaggen purred.

“Oh?” She squeaked.

Mr. McLaggen drew closer to her. “I do.”

“That sounds amazing, but I need to return to my sweeping. I cannot allow my floors to get too dirty.”

“Why don’t you allow me to sweep you off your feet?” Before she could respond, McLaggen embraced her. “I think you’d find that we could have a most pleasant evening.”

She pushed him into the wall and glared at him.

“Why are you fighting me so hard?” McLaggen asked. “Haven’t you always felt a pull towards me?”

“No.”

“Oh yes you have, but you’re stubborn and feisty.” He gave her a predatory smile. “I like that in a woman.”

She gulped.

“Think about us together. We could be the ultimate power couple. I could be Minister of Magic, and you would be the woman at my side.”

“What exactly am I supposed to do at your side?”

“Look gorgeous of course!”

Hermione’s mouth hung open.

Severus began to glow red.

“Think about us, at Ministry Balls, dancing in each other’s arms. I would be making speeches while the fashion magazines copied your every outfit. The population would adore us.”

“Do I get to have a career in the midst of all this media attention?”

“Being my wife should keep you busy enough.”

“It’s a tempting offer, but I need to think about it. Marriage is a big commitment.”

“It is, but it’s one I know you’d take seriously. That’s why you’d make an excellent wife.”

She shook.

McLaggen leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, “Just think about that the next time a man comes knocking on your door.”

She gasped as he broke away.

“Anyway I wanted to see how you were doing and tell you that I cared. Have a wonderful evening. I promise to see you soon.”

“Sure,” she whispered.

McLaggen gave her one last smirk before strutting out the door.

Once it shut, Severus asked, “How long has he been harassing you?”

Hermione spun around.

“How long has he been behaving this way?”

“It really isn’t a big deal.”

“Isn’t a big deal?” Severus snapped. “He was practically manhandling you!”

“Look, he’s been overenthusiastic about me for a few years, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“You shouldn’t need have to handle anything. He should respect your boundaries.”

“He’s a little pushy, but aren’t all men?”

“No! At least they shouldn’t be.”

Ms. Granger swallowed.

“I despise Black, but I think such behavior is even below him. I cannot even envision James behaving like this. You need to stand up to him.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried?”

“I’m sure you have at times, but you could at least threaten to press charges if he barges into your house again.”

“He’s the second in line to become Chief Warlock.”

“So? That does not justify his behavior.”

“No, but that makes it hard to call the aurors and tell them what’s going on.”

“Can’t Potter help you?”

“Not if he wants to keep his job.”

Severus shook his head.

“I’m sure McLaggen will get bored with me and take the hint eventually.” She turned around. “We should just resume our evening.”

“Has he ever come to your house before?”

“He was here for a party I threw for the members of Dumbledore’s Army once.”

“Other than that, has he ever appeared uninvited?”

She took a deep breath. “No.”

“You need to tell Potter what he’s doing immediately.”

“No!”

“This is serious…”

“It’s nothing I cannot handle. Just let it go.”

“Please…”

“I know you’re trying to help,” she replied. “But I don’t need you to help with this! I’m fine.”

“My goal is to make you happy though,” he answered. “Ending this harassment will make you more than happy.”

“Just, please.” Hermione sighed. “Let’s return to the potion.”

“But…”

“Please,” she held up her hand. “Please return to the research or go back to Purgatory.”

“Very well then,” Severus’ glow dimmed. “We will resume our research.”

She nodded before leading him to the sitting room.

They were both too lost in their own thoughts for it to be a productive meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	22. Chapter 22

“What do you mean Cormac barged into her house?”

Sirius’ glow was bright and red. If Severus were not upset himself he may have felt a small sense of relief that the dog was no longer moping. Granted, it would've been nice if he'd gotten out of his funk without Hermione being in danger.

“Cormac came to her house, and practically manhandled her. He was in her personal space and making inappropriate comments. She was all but cowering in his presence," Severus continued.

“Do you think she’s in danger?”

“No, but I fear this will escalate unless someone steps in.”

Sirius stood and shook his head.

“I suggested she tell Potter what is occurring, but she fears his job is in danger if he goes up against Mr. McLaggen.”

“If Cormac is breaking into her apartment though, she could sue him for trespassing.”

“Assuming they take her side over his.”

“Why wouldn’t they? Hermione is a member of the Golden Trio. Shouldn’t that give her any clout in the Ministry?”

“Not against the second in line to become Chief Warlock.”

Sirius’ glow dimmed. “That would explain why she is behaving so meekly around him.”

“Perhaps.”

“I’m sensing a but.”

Severus tapped his foot. “There’s something else troubling her, though for the life of me I don’t know what.”

“Has she given you any clue as to what that would be?”

“No, we discuss little else other than our potion and her utter inability to maintain a tidy house.”

Sirius cocked his head. “Hermione is a questionable housekeeper?”

“She is more than questionable. While I would not call her horrid, I am convinced even you could keep things more organized than she does.”

“Of course I could.” Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "I was very well-organized."

"Since when?"

"Since always."

“Sure," Severus drawled. "But back to the issue at hand, I have no idea how she finds half her parchments, and she refuses to step within two meters of her oven.”

“I thought she would keep a tidier house.”

Severus’ foot stilled. He’d never thought of what kind of house Hermione would keep. If the place was going to be like a second home to him though, the least he could do was teach her how to do chores in addition to ironing.

“You’re a former spy, and supposedly the greatest one alive. Surely you’ve picked up on something which could help her get away from this guy.”

Severus reviewed every interaction with her in his mind. Although she had alluded to feeling as if she was unloveable, there was no reason given for her newfound meekness.

“I mean, she’s mentioned Harry. Where is Ron?”

Severus’ eyes widened. “She has not mentioned him.”

“She hasn’t?”

“No, not once.”

Sirius’ glow intensified.

“We haven’t had a chance to discuss him…”

“That’s her problem!”

Severus shut his mouth.

“She’s meek because she’s missing Ron!”

“Excuse me?” Severus exclaimed.

Sirius was a bright yellow. “Before I died, she and Ron were developing feelings for each other.”

“I always knew Ms. Granger would develop horrendous taste in men.”

“She could do worse than Ron.”

“Other than Mr. McLaggen I fail to see how.”

“She and Ron were cute together. Who doesn’t love a story about two school-aged sweethearts who fall in love and start a family together?”

Severus turned a light blue. 

“Something must have happened which broke them apart.”

“Perhaps that is for the best.”

“No, it is not for the best, but who cares about your pissy attitude.” Sirius clasped his hands together. “I know exactly what we need to do to complete this mission!”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Our mission wasn’t just to help her create her potion, but to help her reunite with Ron!”

Severus burst out laughing.

Sirius frowned.

“I am sorry, but that has to be one of the least intelligent things you have ever said.” Severus stopped laughing.

“Why?”

“Ronald does not deserve someone like Ms. Granger.”

“You haven’t seen them together like I have. They were made for each other.”

“What on earth would give you that idea?”

“For one, they have so much in common.”

“Like what?”

“Like.” Sirius scratched his beard. “Like…”

“Hermione is intellectual, resourceful, and underneath that hardened exterior, kind. Ronald is boorish, lazy, and rude.”

“Yet they care deeply for each other.”

“That is doubtful given that all they ever did was argue.”

“So? Arguments can lead to passionate nights.” Sirius smirked. “Trust me, I’d know.”

Severus’ glow was pea soup green. He could’ve gone an entire afterlife without certain images in his head.

“She and Ron have clearly had a falling out, and need to reunite.”

“No!”

Sirius frowned.

Severus’ glow intensified. “I am not going to aid in your quest to reunite an intelligent young lady with a Quidditch playing dunderhead.”

“It’s not my quest, it’s our quest.”

“I refuse to aid in Ms. Granger settling for the least satisfying life possible.”

“It’s out of our hands. The Trinity wants this, I just know it.”

“If this is the Trinity’s will then they are even more twisted than I could have ever imagined.”

“It’s true love Severus! Don’t you want to help someone find true love?”

“First of all I don’t believe in true love.”

“Really?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Give me one reason I should.”

“Well,” Sirius shrugged. “I guess you wouldn’t know it until you felt it.”

“See, if I have not felt true love then I have never experienced true love. If I've never experienced true love then not everyone has one. Thus true love does not exist."

"You sure are romantic."

"I am realistic."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"The relationship between Ms. Granger and Ronald is lust at best. If I wanted her to have a good lay I would find someone much more handsome with much more intelligence than him.”

“Look, I know you spent time with them, but you didn’t see them like I did. I watched them play Wizarding chess against each other, spar over certain war strategies, and laugh at each other’s jokes. They were cute together.”

“I heard Ron whine until Ms. Grange did his work, call her names on numerous occasions, and throw his latest fling in her face. I cannot think of anything less cute.”

“Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but no love story is.”

“They don’t have a love story.”

“They’re two members of the Golden Trio. They belong together!”

“No, they do not.”

Sirius’ glow turned a dull red. “You know, for someone who wants out of Purgatory, you are sure quick to dismiss this idea.”

“You’re right, I would love nothing more than to be out of this situation, which is why I don’t want to waste my time reuniting the Golden Trio.”

“You told me once to note the things I didn’t see.”

“Oh so you are capable of listening.”

“Yes, I am. Right now, I don’t see Ron, and I think Hermione needs him.”

“No, she does not. He will only make things worse.”

“Why are you so opposed to this plan?” Sirius asked.

“Because it will not work.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“Of course it is,” Severus replied. “I want out of here as soon as possible, and this plan will only waste time.”

“Is that the only reason?” Sirius' glow returned to its regular hue. 

“Yes.”

Sirius stared at him.

“How is your Aristotle reading coming along?”

“Fine,” Sirius drawled. “I’m learning the virtues make one happy.”

“So you actually made it past Book I?”

“I did. I’m at the beginning of Book II.”

“Perhaps you won’t prove so useless after all.”

“I’m not useless at all, I have a plan.”

“One which will fail.”

Sirius scowled.

“Should you not resume your reading?”

“Sure,” Sirius sat and picked up his book.

Severus took his place at the couch and grabbed a book of his own.

Sirius stared at him, wondering what Severus’ actual reason for opposing his plan actually was.

***

Hermione stroked Crookshanks’ back. Although she was in her bed, she was sitting upright. There were too many questions in her mind to allow her to consider sleeping.

Why had Mr. Snape been so upset about the harassment? Anybody with a conscience would be irate with a woman being disrespected the way she had, yet for Mr. Snape it seemed personal. It was as if he cared about her well-being, as if he saw her as a person instead of a project.

She groaned and tilted her head. No, she was a mission to him and nothing more. The second she found whatever happiness she was meant to find, he would be gone. He was probably counting the minutes when he could go to heaven.

Crookshanks purred louder.

She scratched his ears, thinking that if Mr. Snape considered her a friend, she would be very happy indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	23. Chapter 23

Perhaps if Severus ignored Black long enough, he would discard the notion of a Golden Trio reunion.

After their conversation, Black had vowed to ask St. Peter about visiting Ronald. So far heaven’s gatekeeper had yet to make an appearance. Perhaps even he foresaw the futility of the dog’s mission.

Ron Weasley was a complication Severus didn’t need. With some luck, others would agree with his position.

Unaware of any spiritual drama, Ms. Granger was seated at her kitchen table, jotting down her final notes. After dotting the last i she grinned. “There.”

Severus stood over her and hummed. “If my calculations are correct, which they usually are, this should serve as a nice base for our potion, if not be the cure itself.”

“If you say this is the base, then it must be so."

“There was a reason I was called a potions master anyway.”

She glanced up. “Doesn’t it feel weird to be standing in the middle of a table?”

He took note of his position in the center of the table. His lower robe was obscured by the wood, while he was chest deep in piled parchments.

“I barley notice where I am it to be honest.”

“So you can’t feel anything?”

“I thought I made it clear earlier that was the case.”

“I know, but I thought you’d at least be able to sense when you walked through something like a table.”

“No, there is no difference between standing here and sitting on your couch.”

“Is it ever disconcerting not to feel anything?”

“It was at first, but at this point I am accustomed to my existence as a spirit.”

“How long did it take for you to get used to it?”

“It was much less time than you’d think.”

She cocked her head.

“I haven’t felt any kind of touch in years. After a certain period of time I forgot what it felt like.”

“I guess after so much time has passed it would become normal," She replied. "Yet, how much time passed before not touching things felt normal?"

“I am unsure,” he replied. “After death I was in a white waiting room for what could have been years, though for me it only seemed to be a moment. Time becomes contorted in the spiritual realm.”

“You are supposed to be eternal, so I guess in that respect time would lose its meaning.”

“Yet it holds some importance.”

“Oh?”

“Sometimes it seems as if I only have a few minutes between our meetings, yet recently the hours when we are apart drag on. That part baffles me.”

“When you’re in heaven I suppose things will be more consistent.”

“Perhaps.”

“Still, being timeless is hard for me to imagine.”

“This whole thing is beyond my wildest imagination. Nothing could have prepared me for it.”

“Are you at least happy?”

“I’m content enough anyway.”

"You should be more than content."

"Contentment is more than I have felt in years. I am already enjoying the afterlife much more than I did my earthly one."

Silence filled the room.

Ms. Granger rolled up the parchment. “If I go ahead and purchase the ingredients tomorrow I will be later than usual, assuming the stores are still open when I get off of work.”

“That is fine. I can come later.”

“No, just come at seven and be aware that I may be in by 7:30. I will return though, so feel free to sit and wait for me.”

“Very well then.”

She exhaled. “I just hope I can pick everything up in time.”

“If you must wait until the weekend to get some of them I will not be too inconvenienced.”

“Perhaps, but then what will you do in the days between now and then?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you aren’t helping me with the potion then you’ll be in Purgatory, which would upset me greatly.”

“Why?”

“I quite like having you around in the evenings. As entertaining as Crookshanks is, I’ve enjoyed carrying on a two way conversation.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never been accused of being a good conversationalist.”

“When you’re relaxed you are a quite pleasant conversationalist.”

Severus twisted his lower lip. He could concede that he was more relaxed than he had been in decades. Now that there was no spying to be done, no facade to maintain, and no unstable masters to please, he could let his guard down. That realization stirred up some emotion in him, something which could be best defined as peace.

It was an unfamiliar emotion.

“Still, if you can only communicate with me when it’s a part of your mission, I wouldn’t want to waste your time.”

“I’ve told you, there’s more to this mission than helping you with the potion, though for the love of me I cannot figure it out.” He strolled away from the table.

“I suppose we can talk about anything else then.”

“We could do that.” Severus’ glow intensified. “Or we can go over a few recipes.”

Ms. Granger frowned. “I don’t like to cook.”

“Do you not like cooking, or did you give up on learning the skill?”

“I didn’t give up. I just know my limits, cooking being one of them.”

“Were those limits set by your abilities, or by you giving up on learning how to cook?”

“They are based on reality. I’m so bad at cooking I burned a baloney sandwich.”

“That’s possible to do if you’re making a panini…”

“Oh no, I did not intend to heat it at all," she shook her head. "I was boiling up some chicken noodle soup from a can on the stove. Crookshanks knocked over a few of my books, startled me, and the sandwich flew into the fire. It was a total loss.”

Severus couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Laugh now, but the reality remains, how can someone who cannot even make a sandwich learn how to cook?”

“If I can learn how to cook you can as well.”

“I would beg to differ.”

“Then perhaps you should prove me wrong.”

“By failing to cook?”

“Yes.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Aren’t I doing that already by not cooking?”

“No, you are proving to me that you lack any Gryffindor courage, and that you give up on tasks too quickly.”

She stood. “Excuse me?”

He smirked. “Go ahead, prove to me you cannot cook.”

“Fine.” She marched over to the fridge. “What am I supposed to cook?”

“Do you have any eggs?”

She opened the fridge and turned to the door. “I have a carton Luna gave me a week ago.”

“It seems she has faith that you can cook.”

“She’s delusional.” Ms. Granger pulled out the egg carton and set it onto the counter.

“We'll see about that," Severus' glow brightened. "Now get out a pan.”

She walked through him in order to reach into a cupboard. Once she pulled the pan out, she set it onto the stove.

“Go ahead and heat the pan.”

A flame leapt out as she turned it onto the highest setting

“It does not need to be set that high.”

“It’ll get done faster if it’s that hot though.”

“This is not always the case.” Severus floated beside her. “Sometimes the outside of something will be hot almost to the point of burning, but the inside is not heated evenly. Medium heat is usually better, unless the recipe calls for high heat.”

“Whatever you say,” she turned a knob. The flame lessened.

“Now do you know how to crack an egg?”

“Believe it or not, I am quite experienced in that part.”

“Then prove it.”

She pulled out an egg and cracked it on the edge of the pan. Then she ensured the insides landed where they were meant to be.

“Very well done.”

“Glad this meets your approval.” She began to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Severus barked.

“To get some plates. I am going to eat this, aren’t I?”

“You need to attend to your food.”

She blinked.

“I cannot pick up your egg if it burns. You need to ensure it is heated without being burned.”

“When I was on the run I walked away from frying eggs all the time. They were fine.”

“Those fires were not nearly as hot as this one.”

“I was quite good at making fires.”

“I have no doubt that you made due with what you could, but right now we are learning to cook in a way that doesn’t burns your food. Attend to your egg.”

Ms. Granger mumbled something under her breath before stomping over towards the egg. “Okay, I’m watching my egg. It’s sizzling. What do I do?”

“Make sure the egg consistency is correct,” he answered.

“How do I determine that?”

“You want the edges white while the yolk is firm.”

She looked at the pan. “How do I tell if the yolk is firm?”

“It stays in place.”

A few moments passed.

“Okay, I think it looks good,” Ms. Granger announced.

“Then turn off the stove and put the pan off the burner.”

She did so.

“Now, you may get your plate and eating utensils. It may also be wise to put the egg carton away.”

Ms. Granger followed his directions. Once she got the plate she slid the egg from the pan onto it.

“Now, clear off a space at the table so you can eat.”

She took some parchments and piled them across the table.

Severus rolled his eyes. He considered lecturing her about keeping a clean table, but there was only so much he could accomplish in one night.

“Am I done?” She asked.

“Yes, you may now eat.”

Ms. Granger sat at the table and cut her egg. She took a bite. Her eyes grew. “This is actually good.”

Severus’ glow brightened. “Is it not much better than the greasy eggs you eat.”

“My restaurant food isn't always greasy,” she pointed her fork at him. 

"Some of it is greasier than my hair was."

"Your hair wasn't that bad."

"Even I can admit my hair was far from my most attractive feature."

"I don't know." Hermione shrugged. "It was nicer than mine anyway. At least you could brush it without pulling half of it out. I feel so vain sometimes because it takes me a good ten minutes just to get most of the tangles out in the morning."

Severus chuckled as she gave him a small grin.

"All that being said," The humor evaporated from Severus' eyes. “Poor eating habits affect your health severely in the long run. Your poor diet could already be affecting you in ways you are unaware of.”

She cut her egg. “How?”

“A poor diet can cause one to become tired more easily, as well as more irritable.”

“You were irritable, but your diet was fine.”

“I had much to be irritable about though.”

“So do I. Perhaps not as much as you did, but there’s a reason I am who I am,” She took another bite of her egg.

“All I am saying is that you will be happier if your diet improves," he continued.

“Yes, but cooking takes time.”

“Indeed, but the benefits outweigh the costs.”

“Oh?”

“If you cook enough you will have nutritious leftovers. You can eat those for days, or freeze them and eat them later.”

“I suppose that makes a certain amount of sense, but the same can be said of restaurant food.”

“True, but you have to wait for them to prepare it, do you not?”

“Yes.”

“Then consider cooking every once in a while. It takes much less time overall, it is healthier, and you will ultimately save money.”

“Perhaps.” She looked at her half eaten egg. “Still an egg isn’t as exotic as tikka masala.”

“It’s like learning a language. You need to build up to cooking exotic meals, but you can learn to do so,” Severus replied.

Ms. Granger glanced at him.

Severus leaned closer to her. “You’ve always been a good student who was eager to learn. Isn’t cooking a skill worth learning?”

“Well,” she smiled “It would give you a reason to come down here until I can get the potions ingredients I need.”

“It would,” he answered.

“So.” She sat up straight. “Grab a pillow and we’ll shake on it.”

“Must I grab the pillow?”

“Yes,” she laughed. “You need to grab the pillow so we can have a proper shake.”

Severus groaned before gliding into the living room and grabbing the pillow. Once he returned, he grabbed one end of it and allowed her to shake the other.

Once again, Ms. Granger was his student.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is deeply appreciated!


	24. Chapter 24

“Let me get this straight." Saint Peter furrowed his eyebrows. "Ten years ago Hermione was developing a crush on a boy, and now he’s her true love despite the fact that she rarely mentions him?”

“He isn’t just any boy,” Sirius argued. “He’s Ron Wealsey, the second part of the Golden Trio.”

St. Pete leaned against his golden cane. “I have no idea who the Golden Trio are.”

“The Golden Trio consist of Hermione, Ron, and Harry. They were inseparable as they fought he-who-must-not-be-named…”

“Who?”

“You know, he-who-must-not-be-named.”

St. Pete cocked his head. “Everyone is named, even the demons. Who are you referring to?”

“Voldemort.” Sirius turned white.

“Why can’t he be named?” St. Pete asked.

“Because he appears when you say his name.”

“He isn’t here now.”

Sirius glanced around. “No, I guess he isn’t.”

“So if Voldemort isn’t the all powerful force you make him out to be, then what makes you think the Golden Trio's love is all powerful?”

“You have to believe me. Ron and Hermione are perfect for each other.”

“Perhaps they were perfect for each other ten years ago, but much can change in the span of a decade. There is no guarantee they are perfect for each other now.”

“Yes, there is,” Sirius replied. “If you’ve been through the kinds of things Hermione and Ron have, then you couldn’t help but love each other.”

“If being a part of a Golden Trio ensures you are each other’s true love, then what makes you so sure her true love isn’t Harry?”

Sirius laughed. St. Pete's frown deepened.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius calmed himself. “But they love each other only as siblings. I know what true love looks like though.”

“Have you ever experienced it?”

“No, but still you have to trust me. What she and Ron have is the real deal.”

“In other words, you don’t know what true love looks like, yetyou are convinced that Ron and Hermione have it?”

“When you put it the way, yes.” Sirius’ glow became a bright yellow.

Before St. Pete could respond, Severus appeared. His glow was brighter than usual, and there was a hint of a smile on his face.

“You appear content,” Sirius noted.

“I have no reason not to be,” Severus' feet were off the ground. “Ms. Granger and I had a productive meeting.”

“Oh?”

“Indeed, she is learning how to cook. Within no time, she will begin caring for herself better.”

“I’m sure you’re were such an amazing professor too.”

“Between that fact and that Ms. Granger is a quick study, I would say we work well together.”

“Wait,” Sirius’ glow brightened. “Are you actually saying you enjoy working together?”

“There are worse people to aid in the name of a heavenly mission.” Severus hovered towards the sofa. 

Sirius stared at Severus. “Are you floating?”

“Why would I not float?” Severus sat. “I am a spirit after all.”

Sirius jumped, but could only float a few centimeters off the ground, whereas Severus had been at least a meter from it.

“Pity you haven’t mastered floating,” Severus drawled.

“How did you master floating?” Sirius snapped.

“It came naturally.”

“How?”

“Spirits naturally float when they are happy,” St. Pete cut in.

Severus' glow lessened. “I am not happy, merely content.”

“There’s no shame in admitting you are happy,” St. Pete replied.

“Happiness is a strong word for how I feel,” Severus replied. “Still, I am content.”

“Great,” Sirius replied. “Perhaps you can spread some of your contentment with Hermione by helping me reunite her with Ron.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is a fool’s errand that will only waste our time.”

“Everything that isn’t your idea is a waste of time.”

“No, everything which is a plan of yours is a waste of time.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because my plans are more sensible than yours.”

Sirius rolled his eyes.

“I would like to get to heaven sometime before the end of my century long sentence," Severus snapped. "I assume you want the same.”

“Yes.”

“Then stop wasting our time with nonsensical reunions and start thinking of sensible solutions.”

Sirius opened his mouth.

“If you believe Sirius’ plan is nonsensical, then perhaps you could come up with a better one,” St. Pete cut in.

“Right now, my plan is to help her with her potion and help her learn to fend for herself better. Cooking and organizing her house will go a long way towards that.”

“Aren’t we supposed to bring her happiness, not carnal pleasures?” Sirius asked.

“You actually know what carnal means?”

“I read about it in Plato.”

“Impressive.”

“You should be impressed. I just proved I'm as smart as you.”

Severus rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, how is helping her physically going to help bring her happiness?” Sirius asked.

“If she learns to cook her nutrition will improve. When her nutrition improves she will be healthier. That alone will bring her some joy.”

“What exactly are you teaching her to cook?”

“Right now we are learning how to fry eggs, but we will move onto something more advanced shortly.”

“In other words, we have a plan that will bring her the true love she so desperately wants, and we have a plan that will teach her how to fry eggs.” Sirius scratched his chin. “I wonder which one will bring her more happiness?”

“If it is between Ron and the eggs, I would say the latter.”

“I still say you’re opposing this plan because you did not consider it yourself." Sirius was becoming red.

“I still say you’re living in the past and cannot admit that Hermione is too good for Mr. Weasley.” Severus' glow matched his.

“I suppose we’ll soon see,” St. Pete replied.

The spirits turned to the saint. 

“I don’t think either of you can afford to discard any plan, no matter how crazy the other may find it,” St. Pete replied.

“You’re kidding,” Severus drawled.

“No.” St. Pete stood up straighter. “I think checking up on Ronald wouldn’t hurt. He could prove more useful than either of you realize.”

“Yes!” Sirius raised a fist.

St. Pete snapped his fingers. A parchment appeared.

“How did you do that?” Sirius asked.

“The physics are unclear, but if a spirit desires an object which can be found in the spiritual realm, all they need to do is snap their fingers. This will not work if the spirit is in the earthly realm or if they desire an earthly object though.”

Severus snapped his finger. The copy of _Nicomachean Ethics_ from across the room appeared in his hand.

Scowling, Sirius snapped his hands. The book appeared in his hands. Severus glared at him while he gave him an innocent grin.

“Now,” St. Pete gave him the parchment. “Here is the address where Mr. Weasley is staying. Tomorrow you may want to visit him.”

“Don’t worry,” Sirius’ glow returned to the normal hue. “I will.”

“Perhaps once you see him you will see how futile all of this is,” Severus replied.

“Or you’ll see how brilliant this plan is.”

“Doubtful.”

“I’ll let you two discuss this issue. In the meantime, I have some new spirits coming up from Purgatory who I must admit into heaven,” St. Pete announced.

“Don’t worry, soon you’ll be admitting us past the pearly gates as well,” Sirius replied.

“I look forward to the day when you the Trinity’s problem and no longer mine.”

With that, St. Peter disappeared.

Sirius smirked. “I think he likes me, though he won’t admit it.”

“He likes you about as much as I do," Severus grumbled.

“You’ll love me once this plan works.”

“We shall see about that,” Severus replied, wondering why his glow was turning a light shade of blue at the thought of Ms. Granger in the arms of another man.

***

Hermione heard an unfamiliar clanking of pots and pans. She rose from her bed and strolled towards the sound.

“You were not supposed to be awake yet,” a low silky voice purred from within the kitchen.

“You were making so much noise I couldn’t help but be curious as to what you were doing.”

“You always were too curious for your own good.”

“Perhaps.” Hermione poked her head inside the kitchen.

Severus turned to her. “That being said, I made your favorite, sunny side up eggs.”

“You no longer trust me to fry them myself?”

“I trust you completely, or at least in my ability to teach you something.”

She chuckled.

“Still, it is well within my right to spoil you every once in a while.”

She took a long look at him. There was no glow present. Instead of a simple black tunic, he was dressed in the robes he had worn as a professor. The lines on his face had faded, as if he smiled more often thane frowned. 

“Mr. Snape.” She swallowed.

His lips curled up. “I thought we had moved past that.”

“So we have.” She glided towards him.

He removed the frying pan from the burner. His onyx eyes gazed upon hers.

Before a word could be uttered, the alarm spell blasted throughout the room.

Hermione jerked up and took a deep breath. There was no scent of breakfast. Not a sound came from the kitchen.

She undid the alarm spell and rushed into the kitchen. No sign of Mr. Snape.

How disappointing. She could’ve used someone to cook her breakfast.

Then again, why did that man need to be Mr. Snape? Why did it need to be anyone? Since when were microwavable sausage bacon biscuits a poor breakfast?

She huffed. Why was she dreaming of Mr. Snape anyway? Within a few months he would be in heaven, and she could continue her solitary life. It’s what both of them wanted. Before he began visiting her she was content alone, and she would remain content with solitude long after he was gone.

That being said, she would never be opposed to a free breakfast, should he ever decide to treat her to one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	25. Chapter 25

It made sense that St. Pete would send him to a Quidditch pitch. Granted, he hadn’t expected it to be on the outskirts of Paris. Why would Ron be here? Perhaps he was preparing to play in the Quidditch World Cup, or the French wanted to beat up on an English team.

Men on blindingly orange uniforms whirled by Sirius in the sky. They shouted as kludgers flew dangerously close to their heads and the golden snitch fluttered about.

If the French wanted to beat up on a team, they could not have picked a better one. There was no direction to anyone’s flight pattern, and the seeker couldn’t have caught the snitch if his life depended upon it. Even when it was a few centimeters in front of him, he found a way to allow it to slip from his hands.

The only player worse than the seeker was the keeper, who happened to be Ron. Every time the blunger approached him, he found a way to let it slip through his hands. At times he went so far as to dodge it, allowing it to go through the hoops. The spectacle would have made Sirius laugh had he not been so focused on his mission.

A man in a bright orange polo shirt and khaki pants ran to the middle of the field and blew a shrill whistle. The flyers stopped.

“Great practice everyone!” From the tone of his voice, Sirius could not tell if the coach was ignorant of how a competent Quidditch team appeared, or if he was so used to lying it was now second nature. “I think we have half a chance of beating Bayonne tomorrow.”

Sirius shook his head. They’d be lucky if they could defeat Beauxbatons.

“I suggest we rest up. Tomorrow we have another long day of practice before our big game on Saturday.”

The players descended, congratulating themselves on not being knocked off their brooms this practice. A few laughed while others collected the equipment.

Sirius thanked the Trinity that his mission did not involve helping the Cannons become a championship team. Even they would struggle to do that.

“Do you really think we have a chance against Bayonne?” A beater asked.

“Sure,” the coach replied. “All we need to do is remember the basics and we should have no problem with them.”

“I agree.” Ron stepped beside them. “They may be a decent collegiate team, but they don’t stand a chance against professionals.”

“Yeah.” The beater gave him a high five.

Sirius’ glow dimmed. Ron wasn’t the brightest student to grace the halls of Hogwarts, but he hadn’t been the most delusional. The years had not been kind to him.

“Come on, let’s go to L’Enfer, my treat,” Ron replied.

His teammates cheered as they marched off the field.

Sirius followed them into the locker room. The dingy, gray tinted floors and the glisten of sweat on the men’s foreheads made him happy he could no longer smell. The smudged lockers were dented, and a few of them could be pulled open with no effort despite the locks.

The seeker pulled out his grey duffle bag, “So have you made up with Poopsiekins yet?”

A few of the players snickered. Even Sirius rolled his eyes. Even in life, it was difficult enough to wrap his mind around Hermione consenting to ‘Mione. How did he come up with the nickname Poopsiekins?

“Not yet," Ron took off his shirt. "And I honestly see no reason to.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s being unreasonable, and she knows it.”

“I agree she’s overreacting, but you could cut her some slack given everything that’s happened,” a beater cut in.

“I’ve tried, but she keeps coming up with more unreasonable demands.” Ron took off his shoes. “First she wants me helping around the house more, and then I’m supposed to help her mow the lawn. All I want to do is go home and listen to a good Quidditch game on the radio. I swear the woman is just as big a whiner as she was at Hogwarts.”

“You do love her though, don’t you?” Another beater asked.

“Of course I do,” Ron took off his pants and pulled out an orange duffle bag from the locker. “Still, she knows who I am. If she cannot accept me, then perhaps this isn’t going to work out.”

“That would be sad,” the seeker cut in. “You were so close to getting engaged to her as well.”

Ron bowed his head and took a deep breath. “I would love to get engaged to her, but if all we’re going to do is fight…”

The seeker put his hand on Ron’s shoulder. “You don’t want a repeat of four years ago.”

“No,” Ron’s voice was softer. “I don’t.”

Sirius’ eyes grew. Four years ago?

“Perhaps you can avoid another argument by apologizing,” a beater replied.

“Why would I apologize when I am in the right?” Ron put on his shirt and scowled.

“Because 'I’m sorry' is one of the most important phrases in a relationship.”

“I don’t want to say something I don’t mean.”

“I know, but perhaps it is time to look at things from her perspective.”

Ron put on his pants. “What do you mean?”

“You’re gone quite a bit, and when you come home she wants to spend time with you. Sure, she expects too much help around the house, but perhaps pitching in every once in a while will put her mind at ease. At the very least it will show her you care.”

“Maybe,” Ron muttered.

Sirius’ glow brightened. Of course! Ron is capable of great love, but he can be clueless as well. He may not understand how inept Hermione was at keeping a house organized and cooking! Still, Ron was capable of growth. If Hermione could understand that, they could be in wedded bliss before the end of the year!

“I’m just sick of the nagging, that’s all,” Ron continued.

Sirius couldn’t argue that point. Hermione could be a nag. When she became tunnel visioned she sometimes ignored how others felt. If she could learn to accept Ron as he was, both of them would be much happier.

Sirius twisted his lower lip. While he could not change Ron’s behavior, he could persuade Severus to help Hermione be a better communicator.

His glow lessened. The day Severus taught anyone to communicate was the day Sirius took up sewing. Still, the saints had said they needed to help cover each other’s weaknesses and to stretch themselves to make up for the deficiencies they had in life. Perhaps this is what they meant. Sirius needed to learn to be kinder to Severus, and Severus needed to learn to communicate with someone without being condescending. 

“I love her, but I just don’t know if I can be with her." Ron sighed.

Don’t worry Ron. Sirius was a bright yellow. You will be reunited with your true love soon enough.

With that, Sirius disappeared.

***

“I got most of the ingredients we’ll need.” Ms. Granger cut a piece of her teriyaki steak. “Though I couldn’t find the toad’s tongue. I suspect it’s at one of the apothecaries which closes around the time my bookstore does.”

“We will have to wait for the weekend then,” Severus replied.

“Exactly.” She took a bite.

“Very well,” Severus folded his hands and put them on the table. “In the meantime, I cannot help but notice you ordered this meal from a restaurant.”

She swallowed. “I was hungry and I didn’t want to wait for you.”

“Indeed, but if the goal is to teach you how to cook I cannot have you eating before our lessons.”

“What do you propose we do then?”

“I propose coming here at six so we can cook together.”

“Are you sure you want to spend another hour with me?” She cut another piece of steak.

“If the choice is between spending time with you or Black, I will choose you every time.”

She smirked. “I’d be more flattered if I didn’t understand the situation.”

“Actually you should be somewhat flattered. There are few people I would rather spend time with than you.”

She glanced up. Instead of sarcasm or boredom, she noted sincerity in his eyes. The fact that his glow was a soft yellow only added to her comfort level.

“The feeling is mutual,” she whispered.

“You do not need to lie to me.”

“No, I mean it,” her voice was stronger. “I haven’t had many people grace my house every evening. It’s been nice to have the company.”

“Just nice?”

“No, it’s more than nice.” She set down her fork.

“Pleasant?”

“It’s more than pleasant. I just don’t know how to define it.”

“We don’t need to define what we have.” He leaned closer to her.“We can be content with each other’s companionship for as long as it lasts.”

She gave him a soft smile. “I like that.”

He put a hand over hers. Although it went through it, he could feel a warmth radiate up his body.Ms. Granger blushed.

“That being said, we are still professor in student, at least in regards to cooking.”

“Agreed.”

He removed his hand from hers. “Do not eat dinner tomorrow. You are to cook it.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re expecting me to cook an entire meal?”

“Don’t tell me you aren’t up for the challenge.”

“Of course I am.” She held up her head. “I’ll prove to be one of the most outstanding students you’ve ever had.”

“I have no doubt you will,” Severus purred. "I don't have a single doubt in my mind that you will make me very proud indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	26. Chapter 26

Hermione was in no mood to endure a scowling Mr. Snape. If she got one lecture on punctuality, she may take her father up on sprinkling the spirit with holy water.

She slammed her three overflowing paper grocery bags onto the counter. Then she allowed the three floating around her to descend at her feet.

Severus glided towards her. He opened his mouth, but seemed to think better of speaking after she glowered at him.

“You never told me that grocery stores would be hell in the evening,” she growled.

“I thought you were familiar with the concept of not shopping during the busiest time,” he noted.

“I shop for cat food, ice cream, and TV dinners on the weekends, usually in the early morning when I’m up and few other people are awake.” She began unloading the bags. “I’ve never had to shop for large quantities of food on a Tuesday evening.”

“You could have gone during your lunch break. It would not have been such a large crowd.”

She opened her freezer and shoved the ice cream inside. “I barely get a lunch break.”

“Don’t you set your own hours?”

“I decide when I eat. Sometimes I don’t have much time to do so.”

“In other words, you are skipping meals.”

“I call it delaying a meal until the evening.” She jammed a TV dinner atop the ones she had already placed inside.

“Proper nutrition entails that you eat at the proper times.”

“Sometimes that isn’t feasible.”

“It is if you decide to allocate your time wisely.”

“You know, that’s easy for someone in the afterlife to say ‘allocate your time wisely’ given you have an eternity to accomplish what you need to do, but the living are not so lucky.”

“Fair enough.”

She held up a bag of carrots. “Are these fresh?”

He examined them. “They look fine to me.”

“Good.” Hermione opened her refrigerator. “I have no idea what a fresh vegetable looks like, which is partly what took so long. At one point I was looking at onions, and these ladies were just staring at me like I was the most incompetent woman on the face of the earth. I didn’t know if I wanted to hex them or curl up in a ball and forget buying anything.”

His glow softened. “I wish I could have been there to guide you.”

“Perhaps next time you can come with me.”

“I would, but the program would not allow me to leave your house.”

“Why?”

“Their reasoning isn’t clear.”

“They better have good reasons for not allowing you to help me.” She pulled out some yogurt and set it onto a shelf. “I am starved, and I am putting my foot down on eating leftover Japanese tonight.”

“It is useless to try and teach someone how to cook if they have no patience.”

“Usually I have patience, but today it is spent.”

“I cannot blame you," Severus replied. "That being said, you did shop successfully, so I suppose that will constitute our lesson for today.”

“Thank you.” She shut the refrigerator and opened a top cabinet.

Across the room, Crookshanks let out a small meow.

“Yes, I’ll take care of you soon,” She called before putting the bread and rice away.

Crookshanks glared at her before lying down on the floor.

“It was difficult not to shop while in the freezer aisle. Everything looked so good I wanted to buy it all.”

“I should have probably mentioned that one should not shop while famished.”

“Aside from a few TV dinners, I only bought what was on the list.”

“How many TV dinners did you buy?”

She blushed. “Four.”

“That is not completely terrible.”

“Perhaps, but I also bought some mini tacos, some microwavable egg rolls, and some potstickers.”

He shook his head. “Your grade has fallen from an Outstanding to an Exceeded Expectations.”

“That isn’t such a terrible grade given the circumstances.”

“That is just my first impulse. Upon careful consideration though…”

She furrowed her eyebrows.

His expression remained impassive. “You could have done worse.”

“Yes.” She sighed before opening the fridge again. “Next time, I will schedule my shopping trip for when it is less busy, and research how to tell if a fruit of vegetable is fresh.”

“I can help you with the latter. If you can give me a list of fruits and vegetables I can explain how to determine their ripeness,” he replied as she pulled out some leftover teriyaki steak.

“I would like that very much.”

Crookshanks let out another meow.

“I’m coming,” Hermione ran across the room and pulled the cat food out. “I didn’t forget about you.”

As she poured the food into a bowl, the cat purred.

“There.” Hermione put the bag away. “Feel better?”

The half-kneazle continued to eat.

“If it makes you feel better, I detested shopping when I was alive too,” he began.

“I can understand why now.” She replied.“I used to wonder why you were so irritable when I was a teenager. Now I understand and can relate.”

“I was irritable because I was a double spy who had to deal with dunderheaded students. I can only hope your life is not as horrid as mine was.”

“No.” She exhaled. “My life is more pleasant than yours was.”

The fireplace erupted.

“Sometimes I feel like my current problems are petty complaints. After going through a war, I understand what horrid prejudice is. Yet I am upset about some kid throwing a tantrum in aisle three?”

“Temper tantrums are horrid to witness though,” Severus replied. "Especially when the child starts screaming and tossing items."

“Exactly. Still, they aren’t a war.”

“True, but I always did have a degree of sympathy for the hapless parent. Merlin knows if I couldn’t control an unruly adolescent it must be all that much harder to silence a toddler.”

Her voice grew softer. “I suppose I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“Hermione!”

She groaned before strolling over to the fireplace. Judging by the warmth in the room Severus was close behind.

“Yes, Harry?” She looked over the hearth into the flames.

“Can I stop by for a second?”

“Why?”

“I need to talk to you about something.”

She glanced at Severus.

“I can go if you need me to,” the spirit began.

“Why can’t you stay and listen in?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Hermione, are you there?”

“Yes, I do,” Hermione replied.

“Fine, but I will not be in the living room. It could prove distracting if I was staring you down.”

“Okay.”

Severus floated into the kitchen.

“Alright, you can come in.” She replied before backing away.

Harry stepped across the hearth, a book in his hand. “Thank you.”

“That’s fine, but I am need to make you aware that I’m eating dinner soon, so I may need to eat in front of you.”

Harry brushed himself off. “I thought you’d already eaten.”

“Usually I’ve eaten by now, but tonight I went grocery shopping.”

His eyes bulged. “Since when did you go grocery shopping?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t stay long if you need to eat." He took a deep breath. "I just needed to talk to someone.”

“Sure,” she answered. “Is there a problem with Luna?”

“Oh no, she’s perfectly fine, as is James.” His voice grew softer. “Still, this is a problem she wouldn’t fully understand.”

“I mean you no offense, but what makes you think I’d understand it any better?”

“Because you were there for this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Have you read this?” Harry held up the book he’d been carrying. 

Her stomach sank upon reading the cover. “I don’t read trash written by Rita Skeeter.”

“I know, but I wanted to see what they said about Professor Snape in case I needed to defend him, so I decided to check it out.”

“What did you discover?”

“I wish he had an estate so they could sue her for slander.”

“I’m sure a lot of people wish they could sue her for slander.”

“This is beyond anything she’s ever written though.” He trudged towards her sofa. “There isn’t a word of this which is true.”

“What did she say?” She sat beside him.

“First she said that he lost his virginity to my mother, then it said they were carrying on an affair up to the day she died. She even implied that I might have been his.”

“It sounds like you could sue for slander then, if not for yourself, for your mum.”

“I’m not bothered by that honestly. Anyone who’s taken one look at me knows who my father is.”

“True.”

“What upset me the most was how he is was painted as needlessly cruel and not as a man trying to protect as many students as he could. She painted him as someone who had no feelings, no heart, and no soul. He was painted as an opportunist who only wanted to be on the winning side of the war, hence the reason he was a double spy.”

“I thought that described Lucius.”

“It does, but none of that applies to Professor Snape.” He hung his head. “He was a hero, not some fiend like this book portrays him as. She said nothing about the abuse he endured as a child or the way he saved Draco from killing Dumbledore. She implied he killed Dumbledore because he was jealous and wanted to be headmaster. That isn’t what happened at all.”

“I know.” She put a hand on his back.

“He’s a hero.” Harry’s voice cracked. “He needs to be honored as one, not denounced as some semi-traitor. He needs to be allowed to rest in peace, not have his name dragged through the mud.”

She began to rub his back.

“I feel like I need to do something to clear his name, but I don’t know what that is.”

“I don’t know either.”

“I just want him to have the respect he deserves.” A tear fell from Harry’s eyes. “Is that too much to ask?”

“Apparently.”

Harry put his hands in his face.

“I’m leaving.”

She glanced up.

“You and Potter are having a deep discussion, and I do not want to interrupt. I should leave and allow you to continue on with your evening.”

She turned to Harry, whose body was now shaking. Then she turned to Severus, whose glow was dull. All she could do was mouth “okay.”

With that, Severus disappeared, leaving a grieving Harry in his wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	27. Chapter 27

If there was one thing that went right, it was that the dog had not returned from his mission. The last thing Severus needed was to deal with him yapping about some plan doomed to failure, or hear his complaints that he couldn’t understand the simplest philosophical concept. Some days Severus swore he took a wrong turn and wound up in hell, not Purgatory.

He sat upon the couch and picked up Aristotle’s _Metaphysics_ from the top of the pile _._ He stared at the title, as if it would offer some answer to the questions he dared not to ask.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

Severus glanced up and gave the intruder a small smile. “Hello, Dismas. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“It’s about time for your weekly update. Since Sirius is gone I thought this would be the perfect time to do it.”

“Indeed it is,” Severus replied. “Where is Black anyway?”

“He’s in France monitoring Mr. Weasley.” Dismas glanced at the sofa.

“He has been there for quite some time.” Severus slid over and set the books onto the floor. “I thought he’d be finished with that by now.”

“I have a feeling he finished spying hours ago, but he’s decided to enjoy some of the scenery.”

“Doesn’t wandering the earth go against the spirit of the program?”

“It does,” Dismas sat beside Severus. “But he’s been working hard at his mission, so a little leisure time may not be out of order. Besides, if he gets too out of line Metatron will deal with him.”

"His prosecutor?"

"Yes."

"Isn't he busy prosecuting other cases?"

"Trust me, he's never too busy to intervene in the affairs of mortals, even if he is a little..." Dismiss hummed. "Zealous about it."

“It may be best not to call in Metatron then. The last thing I need to Sirius whining about how mean he was to him."

Dismas suppressed a laugh.

"Besides, St. Peter seems capable of handling Black on his own.”

“He is, but at some point somebody needs to admit the souls into heaven.” The thief straightened out his robe. “Besides, Metatron has been itching for a chance to return to earth since his little excursion in the United States.”

“What did he do there?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but he seems proud of whatever he accomplished.”

“Hopefully if it is necessary to call Metatron, he will get Black back on the straight and narrow. If we’re lucky he may even talk him out of his latest harebrained scheme.”

“What is Black's latest idea?”

“He is convinced that Ms. Granger should reunite with her alleged true love, Ronald Weasley.”

“You don’t seem enthused about the plan.”

“You are more perceptive than he is.”

“Why aren’t you in favor of his plan?”

“It won’t work.”

“Why are you convinced of that?”

“Ms. Granger can do so much better than Mr. Weasley," Severus answered. "He is rude, lazy, dunderheaded, and all around unworthy of her.”

“That is a very unflattering description." Dismas scratched his chin. 

“It is accurate though.”

“It’s interesting that you have such an unflattering description of almost everyone you met,” Dismas crossed his legs. "Which makes me wonder what you think of Ms. Granger."

“She is compassionate, hard-working, intelligent, and worthy of so much more than Mr. Weasley could ever provide.”

“You may very well be right, but that only begs the question of who you think she deserves.”

Severus frowned. “You cannot seriously be going down this line of inquiry.”

“All I’m saying is that Black seems to have a decent idea in focusing in on Ms. Granger’s personal life. Aristotle did discuss the benefit of human relationships in achieving eudaimonia after all.”

“He discusses friendship, not true love.”

“No, but Plato discusses love in _The Symposium._ If I recall he goes in depth with love and makes some beautiful points about it.”

“He’s discussing sleeping with teenagers.”

“True. Still, I think the same lessons could apply to relationships where everyone is of age.”

Severus scowled.

“What’s the actual issue?” Dismas asked. “Are you opposed to the idea, or are you opposed to anything Sirius proposes?”

“If he proposed any good ideas I would be in favor of them. This is not a good idea.”

“How do you know it’s not a good idea if you haven’t tried it?”

“There are some things of which I am certain. This is one of them.”

Dismas’ glow became a light yellow.

“Don’t look at me like that. I am not opposed to trying new ideas…”

“So long as you come up with them.”

Severus closed his mouth.

“I sense this has as much to do with pride as anything else.”

“How can thinking something through be prideful?”

“From what I understand from St. Peter, you refuse to give this idea a second thought.”

“I know Ron Weasley, and this will not work. I also know Ms. Granger, and she does not want to be with him.”

“Did you ask her this?” Dismas asked.

“I didn’t need to. Some simple spying revealed the truth," Severus explained.

“Interesting. What did you find?”

“When I was last in her apartment, I scoured the place for any sign of Mr. Weasley. I found photographs of Potter, Draco, Ginevra, and even a few of her bloody cat. What I did not find was any sign that she even knew Mr. Weasley.”

“Have you told Sirius this?”

“I haven’t had time since I explored her house tonight.”

“When he returns that should be the first thing you tell him.”

“Fine.” Severus’ glow lessened.

“Then I would explaining to him what kind of person you believe should be in Hermione’s life.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Unlike Sirius, you’ve read through _Nicomachean Ethics._ You know what Aristotle proposes as the friend who helps one grow in virtue. Hermione has friends, but they are drifting in directions which she may not be able to follow.”

“I’ve noticed as much.”

“So then, what could a virtuous friend for her look like?”

Severus’ glow intensified. “He would need to be intelligent, someone who could keep up with her mind. She would need to be challenged without being pushed into doing things she is uncomfortable with. It would be nice for her to banter with someone since she enjoys intelligent conversation. Her new friend would need to be attentive to her needs without being overbearing. If he could do household chores that would be nice. She’s hopeless when it comes to cooking, though I’m trying to aid her in that.”

Dismas’ lips curled up. “It sounds like you’ve just described yourself.”

Severus’ glow went a stark white. “I am none of those things.”

“Oh?”

“No, I could not be a virtuous friend.”

“You’re learning virtue, as is she. That seems to be a good foundation for a relationship.

“Relationship?” Severus sputtered. “We have no relationship other than client and aid.”

“Is that all she is to you, a client?”

“How could she be anything more? I’m trying to get to heaven by helping her. Once I achieve that task, the next time we’ll see each other is there.”

“So you plant to see her in the afterlife.”

“Why wouldn’t I? She is…”

There was a twinkle in Dismas’ eyes.

“This is irrelevant." Severus frowned. "She needs to find a friend who is not me.”

“I’ll let you and Sirius discuss the friend then.”

Severus’ glow went a light red.

“Now, I couldn’t help but notice your glow was blue when I entered.” The playfulness evaporated from Dismas’ expression. “Did anything happen down there?”

“Nothing of note happened."

Dismas folded his hands.

“Fine, I saw Potter.”

The former thief hummed.

“He was upset because someone had slandered me.” Severus’ glow went to a light shade of blue. "Far more upset than I expected him to be."

“I’m so sorry to hear that. What exactly is being said about you?”

“This person is painting me to be a power-obsessed opportunist who committed adultery and was incapable of love.”

“That must be very upsetting.”

“I don’t know if I’m upset honestly.”

Dismas cocked his head.

“Part of me doesn’t care what others think of me, yet another part of me is beyond infuriated.” His glow grew a bright red. “I don’t need to be acknowledged as a hero, but why can’t anyone allow me to rest in peace?”

Dismas bit his lower lip.

“I never wanted Potter to release my memories.” Severus’ glow was becoming orange. “I wanted those memories to remain private, yet he took it upon himself to advertise my most intimate moments to the entire world.”

The saint stood.

“He knew people hated me. What did he think would happen when he made my entire life public? Someone was bound to twist everything I’d done! How could anything else have happened?”

Dismas backed away from the couch.

“I wanted to be left alone!” Flames engulfed Severus’ body. . “I just wanted some peace, yet Potter made me out to be a hero! Why did he need to save me? Couldn’t he have left me alone like I wanted?”

The good thief’s gaze was upon the fire.

“I just want peace! Is that too much to ask?”

“No.”

The flames were extinguished.

“It isn’t too much to ask for peace.”

Severus’ glow dimmed.

“One of the most difficult pats of being dead is that we don’t get the final say.”

Severus kept his eyes on the ground.

The saint put a hand on his shoulder. “It isn’t fair that we don’t get to write our own stories after our death.”

“You had someone stand up for you though.” Severus slumped. “St. Luke told your story correctly. You became a beacon of hope for all those in need of salvation. What have I become?”

“You will become who you were meant to be.”

“I know, but you became who you were immediately. Everyone knows your story!”

“It took almost a century for my story to be told correctly.”

“I didn’t want my story told at all!”

“I know. Sometimes the living don’t know what will give us peace, so they make decisions which would have upset us in life.”

Severus’ glow returned to its blue hue. “What will bring me peace?”

“I cannot answer that. You must find your own peace.”

“Sometimes I despair of that happening.”

“It’s hard to have hope, but you have an opportunity almost no other soul in Purgatory has. You have a chance to rewrite your story, to show at least one person who you truly were.”

Severus looked at Dismas.

“I cannot tell you how your journey will conclude or what will bring you peace. All I can say is that you have a beautiful chance to write your own story. You should not squander it with pride and wrath.”

Severus relaxed.

“You have very strong emotions surrounding Potter.” Dismas returned to his place beside him. “I would imagine it was difficult to see him again.”

“He came unexpectedly. I thought I could handle it, but I was mistaken.”

“It must have been hard to be taken off guard.”

“What is most upsetting is that he is grieving me, and I am still unclear why. I was nothing but cruel to him, and I have no fondness for him. Why would he mourn me?”

“I don’t know. All I know is you’re not the first soul to be surprised at the people who grieved them.”

Severus’ glow became a dull yellow.

“Sometimes souls are surprised that mortal enemies attended their funeral to pay their respects, or that loved ones danced upon their graves. We don’t know what impression we leave on others until well after our death.”

“I am certain you didn’t expect to be portrayed in several Hollywood films as comforting Jesus anyway.”

“I couldn’t have even imagined what Hollywood was. I mean, moving pictures which record everything? How could anyone from the first century imagine it?” The saint chuckled.

Severus grinned. “I suppose they couldn’t.”

“It is clear you have unfinished business with Potter.” Dismas settled himself. “Obviously you cannot resolve it with him, at least not at this moment. Still, you can help his best friend. Perhaps as you do so you’ll understand his thought process better and why he felt the need to exonerate you.”

“I understand his thought process perfectly. He’s a Gryffindor who fails to grasp the nuances of the world and has a massive savior complex.”

“You seem to think you have everyone figured out.”

“I taught Potter for years. It isn’t hard to figure him out.”

“Seven years have passed since then.”

“So? Some facts will never change.”

“You’d be surprised how quickly things change. If you had asked anyone a week before my execution what my last moments would be, they would not have imagined I would have repented of my sins. Yet look what became of me.”

“You’re different though.”

“How? I was a human being, just like Sirius was and Potter is.”

“You aren’t like them.”

“How would you know? We never met in life.”

“I can tell from our conversations that you were never anything like them.”

“You only say that because you know how my story ends. You don’t know how Sirius or Potter’s story will end. Perhaps it’s time to help right those stories instead of critiquing their even move.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know exactly what it means.”

Severus buried his face in his hands.

“All that being said.” Dismas rose. “You look as if you could use a distraction.”

“It has been a difficult day.” He raised his head.

“It wouldn’t hurt for you to spend some time outside in the clouds.”

“You would allow me to do that?”

“Sure. You need to regroup before seeing Ms. Granger. It’ll do you some good to walk around the outskirts of heaven. There are some places I haven’t visited in awhile I wouldn’t mind showing someone.”

“Thank you,” Severus’ glow had returned to its usual hue. “From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all you’ve done.”

“I haven’t done much for you other than give you some food for thought. You’re the one who needs to put whatever plan you have in motion.”

“I think I can do that.”

“I know you can.”

With that, the two spirits left for the clouds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	28. Chapter 28

Somehow, Black had managed to return to the room before Metatron’s wrath could be ignited. For once, Severus was pleased nothing had happened to the dog. Sirius needed to be as clearheaded as possible when discussing potential strategies, not ranting about the afterlife’s alleged latest injustice.

“You seem happy,” Black noted before sitting on the floor.

“I am not happy so much as I am refreshed.” Severus sat on the couch.

"Where were you anyway?"

"Strolling along the clouds and enjoying the view."

“Getting out really does help. I was going stir crazy until I went to France." Sirius' eyes gleamed. "I forgot how beautiful the beaches of Marseilles were.”

“I didn’t know you’d ever been.”

“I went there when I was a child with my family. They spent most of the time complaining about how many muggle were around, but I had fun.”

“I’d imagine those are fond memories.”

“Yes,” Sirius drawled as he eyed Severus with suspicion. “They are.”

“Did you learn anything during your latest French excursion?" Severus asked.

“I learned that Ron misses Hermione.”

“Did he specifically say he missed her?”

Sirius twisted his lips. “Not necessarily.”

Severus frowned.

“But he’s gotten into a fight with a woman. He’s devastated over it, but he's too stubborn to apologize.”

“Did he ever say her name?”

“The only name I got was ‘poopsiekins.’”

Severus smirked.

Sirius let out a small chuckle. “I thought it was silly too.”

“I cannot imagine Ms. Granger consenting to using that pet name.”

“Here we go again.” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“We need to rethink our strategy.”

“Of course we do.” Sirius threw up his hands. “If it’s not your idea then it’s automatically wrong. I’m getting a little tired of…”

Severus held up a hand. Sirius closed his mouth as his glow grew red.

“I amonly going to say this once, so I want you to listen very carefully.”

Sirius nodded.

Severus lowered his hand. “You are right that Ms. Granger needs a friend who can help her grow in virtue.”

“What?”

“You are correct in saying she needs someone else in her life.”

Black’s glow returned to its usual hue.

“I am not certain that Ron is that person. In fact, I am quite certain he is not given she doesn’t have a single picture of him in her house.”

“She doesn’t have any pictures of Ron?”

“Not one.”

“Wow,” Sirius shook his head. “It must’ve been a bad fight.”

“I cannot say what transpired between Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley, but what I can tell you is that she needs a special kind of friend in her life, one who can assist her once we depart.”

“I still think she needs a true love.”

“Perhaps that person is her true love. I cannot say for certain if they would be a potential lover or not.”

“I’m positive we can find a woman such as Hermione a soulmate.”

“Soulmate may be too lofty of a goal, but the idea of finding a certain person to make her life easier is not a bad one. I would even venture to say it’s great.”

“Of course it’s great." Sirius groaned. "You thought of it, so it must be the most amazing plan in existence.”

“Technically, you thought of it," Severus noted.

“I said that she needed Ron in her life.”

“I’m taking your decent idea and modifying it. Still, the original idea was yours, and it is worth trying.”

“You actually mean that, don’t you?” Sirius' voice was soft.

“I see no reason to be dishonest with you," Severus admitted.

“In other words," Sirius' eyes glistened. "I finally did something right in your eyes.”

“Don’t be too proud of yourself." Severus scowled. "Even Neville Longbottom could go a few class periods without exploding his cauldron.”

“You thought I had a good idea!”

“I thought we established that.”

Sirius’ glow brightened.

“That being said, if you continue to pursue this true love angle, you should at least be aware of what that entails.”

Sirius burst out laughing.

Severus scowled.

“I’m sorry.” Sirius settled himself. “But the idea of you knowing anything about true love is laughable.”

“You should be thankful you aren’t taking lessons from me then. Instead, you will read Plato’s _Symposium_.”

“Great.” Sirius’ glow dimmed. “More homework.”

“You may actually enjoy this piece. It discusses the ideal version of love.”

“What does love look like?”

“It’s difficult to explain, but after reading _The Symposium_ you should have a clear enough idea.”

“Something tells me I don’t have any choice but to read it.”

“You always have a choice, but if you want to be taken seriously I’d suggest educating yourself. At least then we can have an informed conversation about our next course of action.”

“Fine.”

Severus took a thin white book from the middle of the pile and handed it to him. Sirius opened the book and thumbed through it. “There are a lot of characters.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t like it when I can’t keep track of people.”

“Given that most of them make uninterrupted speeches, it should be easy enough to keep track of them.”

“It’s short anyway."

“You should be able to get through it in a couple days at most.”

“Let’s hope so.” From Sirius' expression it was clear his expectations were low.

“Don’t look at it like I’m torturing you. I quite enjoyed it.”

“Which means it’ll be so dry I’ll wish I could fall asleep.”

“Either that, or you’ll enjoy it because it’s about a drinking party.”

There was a spark in Sirius’ eyes. “Really?”

“Yes, there is much drinking, and much talk of sex. You should be warned though, it is sex between an adolescent boy and a grown man.”

“And the Trinity is fine with us reading this?”

“Apparently.”

Sirius looked at the book with renewed interest. 

“For context, the Greeks believed the best way for a youth to learn how to be a citizen was to be mentored by an older man. This often involved carnal relations.”

“Ooh.”

“By today’s standards, their methods of educating the youth were questionable. Still, that is the context for the play.”

“Sex, drugs…if only they had rock and roll.”

“There are a few musicians in there if I recall correctly.”

“So it does have rock and roll?”

“The Ancient Greek equivalent anyway.”

Sirius’ smile grew.

“Anyway, if you want to implement your idea, you should know what kind of goal you are striving for,” Severus replied. “If you have any questions, I remember reading this. I am more than happy to answer them.”

“Thanks.” Sirius replied.

“Indeed.”

Sirius opened the book while Severus picked up _Metaphysics._

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Sirius locked eyes with him. “Why are you suddenly treating me like a person?”

“Would you rather I treat you like a dog?”

“No," He answered. "But I appreciate getting some credit for my intelligence. It’s been awhile since anyone has treated me like I’m anything more than an overgrown adolescent.”

“They had good reason for doing so,” Severus muttered.

“I knew the insults would come back.”

“You set yourself up for that one.”

“True. Still, it’s nice to be taken seriously.”

Severus was silent.

“So, what changed?”

He scratched the couch.

“If you don’t want to tell me…”

“Let’s just say that I was told not to dismiss any idea which has the potential to procure my eternal salvation.”

“Whoever said that was very wise.”

“Indeed.”

Sirius’ glow was a deep yellow before he turned to the first page. Severus stared at his book title, trying to dispel the image of Hermione in another man’s arms from his mind.

***

It never occurred to her that Severus would be doing this all for Lily.

Hermione stroked Crookshanks as she stared out into at the starless night. Bedtime had long since passed, but her eyes refused to close. After a half hour of tossing and turning, she sat upright in her bed and allowed Crookshanks to claim her lap. His purring did nothing to quell her gnawing insecurities.

Severus was working not only for his own salvation, but for the chance to see Lily again. She was the Beatrice to his Dante, whereas Hermione was an obstacle to be overcome. It must frustrate him to no end that he spent his time interacting with her and not his beloved fellow spirit.

Hermione shifted position. Crookshanks opened one sleepy eye to glare at her before falling asleep.

She should find it romantic that he would go such lengths to be with the woman he loved. There was a pang of envy too great to ignore though. Nobody would ever be as passionate about her. Merlin knew Hermione was a terrible cook, too absorbed in her work to eat lunch, had a man who was borderline stalking her, and spent all her free time in a lab searching for a cure which may prove impossible. Her own deficiencies may thwart Severus’ mission, and prevent anyone from ever having any type of romantic sentiment towards her.

Was it such a bad thing if he spent years trying to achieve his mission? His company was more enjoyable than she’d ever expected. Didn’t she deserve a chance to be happy for a few evenings?

She shuddered. No, she shouldn’t have such thoughts. Her goal was to help him become a saint, not keep him on earth. He only saw her as a client, a fact she needed to respect.

It did not prevent her from wishing he would see her as more though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	29. Chapter 29

“Tonight we will be preparing what will more than likely serve as the base for many of your meals,” Severus strolled into the kitchen with his hands behind his back. “Rice.”

Hermione looked at him as if he’d just ordered her to speak Mandarin Chinese.

“Is there a problem?”

“No,” she replied. "But making rice is a little too advanced for me.”

“Who told you that?”

“Classmates, Molly…”

“Molly thinks making rice is difficult?”

“Perhaps she doesn’t,” Hermione leaned against her counter. “But she did say it was beyond my capabilities.”

“That has to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“She may have a point.”

“No, she does not. If she had any patience at all she could’ve taught you how to make rice.”

“There were very few times she was patient with me.”

“That is unfortunate. I expected better from her.”

“Who am I to question her?" She shrugged. "She can cook, I can’t.”

“No.” He pointed to her. “You do not know how to cook yet. That does not mean you cannot cook.”

“I’d like to think so.”

“Stop thinking and start believing in your capabilities.”

“I will,” she replied. “I’ll try to believe that Molly just lost her temper with me.”

“What exactly was she upset about?”

“I had just burned a piece of toast in Arthur’s new toaster.”

“That is nothing to be upset about. Anyone could burn toast if they had it on the wrong setting.”

“There are settings on a toaster?”

Severus’ eyes grew.

Hermione laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m well aware of the settings. If I remember right, Ron thought it would get done faster if he turned it up.”

"So she blamed you?"

"Of course." Hermione sighed. "I was the screw up, not her little baby Ron."

"That is far from true."

She shrugged.

Severus floated closer to her. "You are not a screw up."

She gave him a small smile.

He relaxed. "You should never have been subjected to such insults."

"Perhaps,' Hermione exhaled. “Anyway she said I would be hopeless making rice, so I should step out of the way and allow her to make it."

“You are not hopeless,” he answered. “All you need is precision and patience.”

“That doesn’t sound too difficult.”

“It isn’t. If you can demonstrate those qualities when brewing you can do so in the kitchen.”

“Hopefully.”

“There is no ‘hopefully.’ You will do it. Now,” He pointed to a bottom cupboard. “Pull out a pot that will hold up to 500 mL.”

Cookware clanked together as she shifted through her cupboard. She pulled out a pot and sneezed. With a slight chuckle, she showed it to him.

“I did not think pots could get dusty,” he noted.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever used it.”

“Go ahead and wash it out. Then we can begin.”

Hermione did as she was told.

“After this is done we should go about dusting your other pots and pans. Something tells me their condition is not much better," Severus continued.

“You would be correct.”

“Then we can work on clearing off a spot on the table for you to eat. The way you balance your food over the edge fascinates me, and not in a pleasant way.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She shut off the sink.

“Now, I need you to cast a drying spell so there is no water left at all in it.”

“None?”

“No, we need to be precise in our measurements.”

She tapped the pot with her wand. The water evaporated.

“Now, you need to get out a measuring cup.”

She blinked.

“If we are being precise, we need measuring cups.”

“Can’t we just guess how much we need?”

“In this case, no. It will ruin the rice if we do.”

She bowed her head.

“You don’t have measuring cups, do you?”

She shook her head.

If he’d had lungs, she knew she would’ve heard him sigh. “Very well, pick them up tomorrow, preferably over your lunch break or just before I come. We can make the rice then.”

“I’m sorry.” She muttered.

“No, the fault is mine. If I’d realized how hopeless your situation was I would’ve told you to buy measuring cups.”

Hot tears welled in her eyes. “I’m sorry this is such a setback.”

“No, we can cook something else.”

“But you needed me to fix rice, and I can’t even fix that right.” The tears trickled down her face. “You’re relying on a woman who doesn’t even have measuring cups to help you get into heaven.”

“I have a century to try and leave the program. One day is not a horrible setback.”

“Stop!” She crumpled onto the floor. “Stop being nice to me.”

“Fine! Stop being hysterical and cook!”

“I can’t!”

“There is no reason to begin weeping.”

“Yes, there is.” Hermione glanced up at him. “All you want to do is see Lily, and instead you’re helping a woman who can’t even buy measuring cups!”

“Lily?” His glow lessened.

She curled into a ball.

“How in Merlin’s name did Lily get involved in all of this?” He asked.

Her breaths were uneven and punctuated by gasps. Still, she could feel the temperature rise as he drew closer.

“What exactly did Potter tell you about Lily?”

“He showed me the memories.” She looked at him through her misty eyes. “I know everything you did was for her, the spying, the harsh teaching methods, the not allowing anyone to use the word ‘mudblood’. All of it.”

He twisted his lower lip.

“Even now, you are tolerating me in order to see her again," she cried.

“You think this whole mission is about getting to her?”

She sniffed.

He attempted to raise her chin, but his hands went right through her, leaving only warmth.

“I feel like I’m interfering with one of Britain’s greatest love stories. If I wasn’t so hopeless you’d be with the woman you loved, not dealing with a screw up like me.”

“That is more than enough.”

“Tell me I’m wrong!” Hermione gasped. “Tell me you don’t love her!”

“I don’t love her.”

“Liar,” she hissed.

“Why would I lie about something such as this when lying will only get me more time in Purgatory?” 

She took a deep breath.

"Did Potter mention anything about my relationship with Lily last night?"

She nodded.

His voice softened. “Do you truly think Lily and I had an affair?”

“No.” Hermione wiped a tear away. “I don’t believe a thing Rita writes. When Harry brought up the memories though, I couldn’t help but think about how far you went for her, even putting up with me.”

“First of all, I thought we’d established that my mission was more pleasant than I thought it would be.”

She took a deep breath.

“Second, I am trying to get into heaven because I want peace, not because I want to be with any specific person.”

“You mean you aren’t doing this for her?” She squeaked.

“No.”

She shook.

He knelt until he was on eye level with her. “Any love I had for Lily died the day I found out she’d spent a decade in Purgatory because she refused to forgive me from my mistake.”

“She never forgave you?”

He shook his head.

“What a bitch." Her eyes were now dry.

“That’s a bit of a strong word for her.”

“No, that’s the perfect word for her,” Hermione’s voice was stronger. “You were being tortured when you said those words. You were humiliated, yet she couldn’t look past that.”

“Do not justify what I said.”

“I’m not, but at the end of the day, it’s just a word, not a reason to end a friendship.”

“With all due respect, you…” his voice faded as he considered the woman before him.

“What, I wouldn’t understand the harm of that word, despite the fact that I’m a muggleborn?"

He knew better than to answer her.

"Let me tell you something," She sat up straighter. "Draco’s called me ‘mudblood,’ yet I am friends with him.”

“Would you have been friends with him if Ginevra hadn’t married him?”

“Who do you think brought them together?”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Ginny and Harry realized within a year of datingthey were going in different directions Their breakup was amicable, and they were much happier as friends. At the time, I was taking an advanced potions class in the university with Draco. We were working on a project together. Over time, we became friendly enough to start drinking together.”

“Please tell me your relationship ended at friendship.”

“Oh Merlin yes.” Hermione laughed. “I never saw him as anything other than a friend.”

“Thank Merlin.” 

“Still, we liked to hang out around campus, especially at the bars. One night we got plastered, and he admitted that he had loved Ginny since the day she stood up for Harry against him. If he wasn’t contracted to kill Dumbledore he would have asked her out, but he believed he was too tainted for her.”

“I remember him casting a few glances her way. At the time I thought he was afraid to be her friend for fear of upsetting his father.”

“No, he wanted her as more. I knew he wouldn’t do anything about it, so I took matters into my own hands. The next day I told Harry what I had heard and asked if it was okay if I encouraged Draco to ask Ginny out. I don’t think he’d ever been as supportive of one of my plans.”

“That was nice of you to ask.”

“I didn’t want him to think I was going behind his back, but it was clear he had moved on with Luna.”

“It did not take him long to move on.”

“Not really. Anyway, I gave Draco a few pep talks, got his courage up, and encouraged Ginny to open herself up to him. Thanks to my encouragement they have two beautiful children.”

“I am happy that Draco befriended you then.”

“I think he is too,” she sat up straighter. “My point is though, if I could forgive Draco, build a relationship wth him, and help him ask out the love of his life, there is no reason Lily couldn’t forgive you.”

“You are much more forgiving than most though.” His glow brightened.

“No.” She exhaled. “I’m just someone who didn’t see the point in fighting anymore.”

“I had hoped Draco would find a friend like you. I am glad he did.”

“I don’t know if I’m always the best friend. Still, I do my best to show that I care.”

“I like that about you.” His voice was soft. “With the right people, you aren’t afraid to show you care.”

“You like me?” She cracked a smile.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” His glow intensified. “I like things about you. That is different from liking you.”

She giggled. He raised an eyebrow.

“For the record, I like you too." She grinned.

“I swear you are the worst judge of character imaginable," he muttered.

“No, I’m the best. Your problem is that you don’t understand how valuable you are.” She stood.

“I am worth very little.” His glow turned blue.

“That is not true. You are worth more than you could ever imagine.”

“If this deteriorates into one of those you should feel valuable because the Trinity loves you speeches I am going to turn green.”

“I’m not thinking about them. All I’m thinking about is you and your worth independent of anything anyone says or does. It’s just sad that no one has explained this to you.”

“Nobody has ever found me worthy of such a speech.” His glow turned yellow.

“They should have though.”

“Perhaps.”

A comfortable silence overtook the room.

“It would be inadvisable for you to cook rice without measuring cups.” Severus turned his attention to the stove. “I propose we make spaghetti instead.”

“I don’t need measuring cups for that?”

“No, I can usually tell how much water is needed for it. Due to that alone, you can make spaghetti without incident.”

“Okay.” She put the pot under the sink.

“Now,” he began over the running water. “The key is to let the water boil before putting the pasta in. You also need to have an idea of how soft you want to pasta so you know how long to leave it in.”

“I want it as soft as _Giovanni’s_ makes it.”

“You want it al dente then.”

“You know about how _Giovanni’s_ cooks their pasta?”

“I was one of their regulars. They knew me by name and my order.”

“What would that order be?”

“I always had spaghetti and a Sangiovese.”

“I can almost see you sitting on a bar stool, wine glass in one hand and twirling spaghetti in another.”

He leaned over her. “That’s enough water.”

She turned it off.

“What is your favorite order?”

“I can eat almost anything from there, but I always liked their chicken alfredo.”

“When we’re through, you will be able a chicken alfredo which will make them plead for the recipe.”

“Really?” She set the pot on the stove.

“Indeed. They do a decent job with the recipe, but I devised my own which even Lucius admits he adores.”

“Then I cannot wait until I present you with my measuring cups so we can continue our lessons.”

“I look forward to each and every cooking lesson we have.”

Had Hermione not been turning on the stove, she would have seen that for a second, his glow turned pink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	30. Chapter 30

“What do you mean you didn’t ask her about Ron?”

Severus put his hands behind his back and scowled. “It didn’t come up, and she was too upset about Lily for me to ask.”

“How did Lily come into this?” Sirius was red. 

“She and Potter discussed my memories last night, so she was afraid that she was preventing me from reach heaven and being with my beloved or some other nonsense such as that.”

"You aren't doing this for Lily?"

"No!" Severus snapped. "I'm doing this so I find peace. The only way I was going to have any peace last night though is if I did not bring Ron up."

Sirius groaned. 

“What was I supposed to do?” Severus threw up his hands. “She was on the floor weeping. Was I supposed to yell at her, ‘Stop crying and tell me what you’re fighting with Ron?’”

“Yeah,” Sirius drawled as his hue returned to normal. “Even you’re socially intelligent enough not to say that.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you wouldn’t know how to talk to a woman if your life depended upon it, although you were smart enough to allow Hermione to cry.”

“I had little choice in the matter," Severus replied. "I cannot touch her, nor can I start banging pans to divert her attention from whatever is upsetting her.”

“You would actually bang pots together to make a woman stop crying?”

“If that’s what it took to dry her eyes, then yes.”

“No wonder the ladies flocked towards you," Sirius lowered his voice. 

"Fine, it may be an exaggeration to say I would bang pots and pans, but I have little idea of what else I could do. Usually I leave when a woman becomes hysterical, though in this circumstance that would have been unwise.”

“It would’ve been," Sirius confirmed. "Still, I have to give you credit, you’re learning how to talk to Hermione. At least you aren’t completely hopeless.”

Severus pursed his lips together.

“That being said, you can’t wait much longer on this. There are some beautiful groupies looking in Ron’s direction. You need to make it clear to Hermione that she has something to lose if she does not give him another chance.”

“If he’s looking at groupies then don’t you think that would indicate he is unworthy of her?”

“If he think there’s no hope for them, could you blame him for looking at groupies?”

“I can.”

Sirius cocked his head.

“If his only interest in her is because she is attractive then we should be helping her find someone who cares about her on a deeper level."

“True.” Sirius’ glow dulled. “Pausanius does talk about two types of love, the base and the noble. Our only problem is that he thought the noble love was only reserved for an adolescent male and an older man.”

“So you have been reading _The Symposium_.”

“I’m on Aristophanes’ speech, but I haven’t begun to read it.”

“That’s the best part in my opinion.”

“In other words, the most boring part.” Sirius shook his head.

“Why do you think everything I like is boring?” Severus furrowed his eyebrows.

“Because it is.”

Severus' frown deepened.

“Anyway, I liked how Eryximachus said love governed all things. Under the right circumstances, he claimed it could even cure disease.”

“I have yet to see love cure anything.”

“Of course you haven’t. You’ve never experienced true love, and you’re too cynical to see the effect it could have on anyone’s life.”

Severus’ glow turned blue.

“Anyway, I’m convinced that Hermione’s heart is sick, and the sooner you give her the medicine that is Ron Weasley, the sooner we can reach heaven," Sirius concluded.

“If Ron is looking at groupies, why does Hermione need to be the one to reconcile with him?”

“Because we’re helping her, not him.”

“I know, but asking her to grovel at the feet of a dunderhead seems to go against the spirit of the program.”

“There we go.” Sirius’ glow brightened. “You didn’t come up with this idea so it’s inherently terrible.”

“I’m trying to act in Hermione’s best interests,” Severus argued.

“Can’t you act in your best interests for once and help me implement a plan that will make Hermione happy? You’ll leave Purgatory much faster.”

“I don’t want to leave Purgatory if Hermione isn’t happy!”

Sirius’ eyes grew.

“I don’t want to leave Hermione in the arms of a dunderhead!" Severus continued, his glow more intense than the morning star. "I don’t want her to fit into some mold someone else created for her! I don’t want her to suppress her feelings. That isn’t true happiness, and we both know it.”

“You care for her, don’t you?”

Severus turned white as his glow faded.

“You do.” Sirius pointed at him. “You genuinely care about her.”

“I just want to accomplish this mission, that is all.” If Severus could've huffed he would have.

“How much?”

“Excuse me?”

“How much do you care for her?”

“Enough to know your plan will never work.”

“Prove it.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Talk to her about Ron. Figure out what’s going on. If you’re right, we can focus on finding her virtuous friend. If you’re wrong then we reunite her with Ron," Sirius replied.

Severus turned his back to the other spirit.

“We both know that’s the only way to get what we want.”

“What about what Hermione wants?”

“Neither of us will know what she wants until this Ron thing is out in the open.”

Severus glanced back.

“Ron was a major part of her life. It doesn’t make sense for him to be absent from her. At least help her make peace with whatever happened.”

Severus hung his head.

“Care enough about her to help her through this Ron thing, even if that means you don’t get what you want.”

“What would you know about what I want?”

“More than you think.”

Without a word, Severus took his place on the sofa and put a book in front of him, his glow becoming bluer by the second.

Sirius stared at the man black, realizing that this mission was becoming more complicated by the day.

***

“Auntie Hermione!”

Before Hermione could react, two blond haired children burst into her office and hugged her, one on each leg.

“I’m so sorry,” Draco chuckled. “I told them we would knock on your door to see if you were busy, but apparently I needed to make it clearer that they needed to wait for you to answer it before barging in.”

“No, that’s fine.” Hermione embraced the children. “It’s always great to see all of you again.”

“We like seeing you too,” the child on the right replied.

“Scorpius, Cassiopeia,” Draco closed the door behind him. “Let’s give Auntie Hermione some space before you knock her over.”

The children backed away from her, both wearing sheepish grins.

Hermione knelt until she was eyes level with them. “What brings you here?”

“Daddy said we could buy a book,” Scorpius replied.

“I good,” Cassiopeia answered.

“That’s so great to hear! I love it when you two are good.”

“Indeed, they are doing an amazing job of learning how to feed and care for Bandit,” Draco began.

“Good fewet,” Cassie cut in.

“Yeah, except he ate my socks,” Scorpius complained.

“I told you not to put them near his cage,” Draco replied.

“I didn’t like them anyway.” Scorpius admitted.

“Why not?” Hermione asked.

“They were blue.”

“You don’t like blue?”

“I like blue, but socks are supposed to be white.”

“No blue!” Cassie giggled.

Hermione glanced up at Draco. He exhaled.

“What’s that?” Scorpius broke away from Hermione and darted towards her desk.

“Don’t touch her desk.”

The child pointed to a brown paper bag. “What is that?”

“I went to the store.” Hermione took it down. “You can see what’s in it.”

Scorpius pulled out a yellow item. Cassie approached him and glanced at it.

“Measuring cups?” Draco asked.

“Oh yeah, Mummy has some." Scorpius examined them. "I can’t play with them.”

“You aren’t allowed to play with these either.” Draco took them from his hand and put them back onto Hermione’s desk. “No offense, but why do you need these?”

“I’m learning how to cook.”

Draco stared at her as if she’d just announced she was going to become a professional Quidditch player.

“Need coo book?” Cassie asked.

“Maybe,” Hermione replied. “But right now I’m taking lessons from a teacher.”

“Who?”

“He’s uh,” Hermione bit her lower lip. “His name is Dante Alighieri.”

“He’s named after an Italian poet from the 1300’s?” Draco asked.

“That’s what I said too when he introduced himself, but it’s true. He showed me his ID, and it is in fact his name.”

“Did he write a book?” Scorpius asked.

“The person who lived in the 1300’s did, but my Dante has not.”

“I’m sure he gets quite a few comments about his name,” Draco noted.

“He does, which is why he likes to keep things secretive.”

“I take it there’s no chance of meeting him.”

“Not in person.”

Draco hummed.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Draco replied. “It’s just that you seem happy.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you have a gleam in your eyes when you mention his name.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hermione put the measuring cups back in her bag.

“No, you’d probably be the last know if you felt this way about anyone.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means.” Draco glanced at his children. “We need to pick up your books before your mother gets worried about how late we’re staying out.”

“Books!” The children ran to the door.

“Stop!”

They both froze.

Draco approached Hermione and lowered his voice. “Thank you for not selling Rita’s book. It was a relief to see you weren’t participating in her smear campaign.”

“I will admit to selling the first seventy-five copies I got, but I haven’t ordered anymore. There’s no room for that kind of shoddy journalism in a bookstore as respectable as mine.”

“Thank you.”

“There's no need to thank me,” Hermione replied. "It was time I did the right thing."

"You are an amazing woman," Draco replied.

"I wouldn't say that." she sighed. "But I try to be."

"All that being said," Draco glanced down. “Children, say goodbye to Auntie Hermione.”

They rushed over and embraced her again.

“Bye Auntie Hermione,” Cassie began.

“Bye,” Scorpius echoed.

She returned the embrace. “Goodbye. It is always so nice to see you both.”

“Me too,” Cassie answered.

“Me too,” Scorpius echoed.

“Now.” Draco began. “We are going to walk into the store and stick close together.”

“Yes,” they answered.

Draco held out his hands. Scorpius took one, and Cassie the other.

“Tell Dante I said hi and that if he ever wants to come out of his hiding place, I’d love to meet him," Draco replied.

“I’ll let him know.”

Together, the Malfoys strolled out of the room, leaving Hermione to wonder if she should have told Draco the whole truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated


	31. Chapter 31

It was difficult to believe that anyone would allow Hermione to steam vegetables. Granted, she wasn’t such a dunderhead that she would burn herself on the scalding water, but under most circumstances the same couldn’t be said for her carrots and broccoli. Knowing her luck, the carrots would become mush, and the florets of the broccoli would disintegrate.

“The rice should be done in two minutes. The vegetables should be what I consider the correct consistency in a minute, though you may want them somewhat softer," Mr. Snape began. 

“Okay.” She answered, wondering if he would be this patient if he had to eat whatever she made. Merlin knew he would not appreciate eating a less than adequate meal, no matter how nutritious it may be.

“Stick your fork into the carrots and determine if it’s the right consistency.”

She did so. Her eyes widened. “It’s perfect.”

His lips curled up.

“I mean, I cannot believe I actually steamed a carrot without it becoming slop!" She cheered.

“I told you that you could do it,” he turned bright yellow. “Though if I were you I would dump the hot water before your vegetables become too soft.”

“Of course.” There was a skip in her step as she went over to the kitchen sink and dumped the water.

“Now, pull out some teriyaki sauce and you should be ready to uncover the rice.”

“Fine, but you still haven’t told me if this sauce will be better than the kind they serve in a restaurant.” Hermione opened the cabinet and reached for the sauce.

“I told you, it depends on the restaurant and the kind of sauce you buy.”

“What about this kind?” She showed him the bottle.

“That’s adequate.”

“Just adequate?”

He shrugged. “I’ve had better, and I’ve had worse.”

“That’s encouraging," she deadpanned.

“You act as if you expected me to be overly enthusiastic."

“Perhaps you wouldn't be over teriyaki sauce," she admitted. "But I'm almost used to your enthusiasm, even if you try to hide it."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You can be quite the motivator when you want to be.”

“Only if the person I’m speaking to warrants my encouragement.”

"And I warrant your encouragement?"

"It would seem so." He gave her a small grin.

“You know,” she hummed, “you aren’t as big of a git as you made yourself out to be.”

“Very few people think as you do.”

“People don’t know you.” She pulled out a plate. “Well, I guess now they can’t know you now."

"No," he turned a light blue.

"Still, when you aren’t spying though you are pleasant enough.”

"You have an odd definition of pleasant."

She suppressed her laughter.

“Go ahead and uncover the rice. It is clear you are so famished you are delusional.”

Hermione chuckled before opening it. Steam billowed out. “Do I need to pour the water out of the rice?”

“Do you see any water?”

She looked down. “No.”

"Then it means you made it correctly."

She blinked.

“The rice absorbs the water. That’s why you have to keep it covered. Otherwise the steam escapes and it’s too hard.”

“Oh.” She began putting the rice on her plate.

“That rice should last for a couple of meals. Tomorrow night, I will teach you how to stir fry chicken so you can have some with it," his glow returned to its normal hue.

“Stir frying sounds too fancy to master at the moment.”

“Believe me, it’s anything but fancy,” he replied. “And almost any dunderhead could master it.”

“Are you saying I’m not a dunderhead?”

“You are anything but a dunderhead.”

Her face lit up.

“Still, if you can stir fry you can create almost anything.”

“Really?”

Mr. Snape nodded.

“I didn’t know that’s all it would take," she muttered.

“The meals will be simple, but right now, we’re looking for simple, manageable, and nutritious.”

“I can get behind that.” She put the vegetables onto her plate. “Does everything look good?”

“Judging by the appearance you’ve made it perfectly.”

“Let’s hope so.” She took the teriyaki and sat at the table. After peeling off the plastic she twisted the top, but it refused to budge.

“If you need help, all you have to do is tell me to touch it.”

“Please touch it.” She stuck it in his face.

He took the top and twisted it off with ease.

“I was honestly wondering if you could do it.” She took it from him.

“I was too.” He replied. “Usually I exert myself quite a bit when opening those bottles, but it was effortless.”

“Being a spirit must have its perks.” She poured the sauce onto her meal.

“At times, it does.” He sat across from her.

After setting the bottle aside, she took a bite of her meal. Her eyes were wide. “This is good! This is actually good!”

Mr. Snape smiled. “I was right then, you could cook.”

“I can cook.” Hermione raised her hands. “I can cook!”

Crookshanks leapt and meowed.

“Shush,” Mr. Snape hissed.

The half-kneazle growled at him.

“Crookshanks,” she hissed. “Don’t be rude to our guest.”

Tail in the air, he marched out of the room.

“I didn’t think I could do it.” She took another bite. “I thought I was a failure in the kitchen.”

“No, you just needed someone to unleash your potential.”

She swallowed. “Do you want some?”

“I don’t think I can eat," he noted.

“I want you to touch the food and eat it.”

“I will not stuff your food into my mouth.”

“Fine.” She stuck out her fork. “I want you to touch the fork.”

He took it from her hand. Then he took some of her food and put it into his mouth.

It landed onto the chair.

“Did you taste it?”

He shook his head.

“Oh.” She frowned.

“I will trust you when you say it is amazing. It appears appetizing anyway.”

“It is more than appetizing.”

As Hermione continued to eat, she observed Mr. Snape’s glow. At times it maintained its normal hue, yet at others it was a light blue. She was used to it changing colors, but not so frequently.

“Is something on your mind?” She asked.

He glanced at her.

“Your glow is changing, and I’m curious as to what it means.”

“Nothing, I am just thinking,” Mr. Snape replied.

“Your thoughts do not appear pleasant."

“They aren’t unpleasant necessarily.”

"Then what are they?"

He shrugged as he examined a crumpled three day old newspaper on the table. Why would Hermione be interested in beauty tips?

She kept eating.

“May I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

He made eye contact with her. “You were part of the Golden Trio, correct?”

“Yes,” she drawled. “You should know that.”

“I do, but it raises a question," his glow pulsated. "I have seen you interact with Potter, but I have no idea where Mr. Weasley is.”

She dropped her fork onto her plate.

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know,” her voice was soft.

“How could you not know? He was one of your best friends.”

“I just don’t know.”

“Have you had some kind of falling out with him?”

“You could say that.” She began to scrape the rice onto the edge of the plate.

“When is the last time you've seen him?”

Hermione huffed. “Is this an interrogation?”

“No,” Mr. Snape answered in a low voice. “I am much less pleasant when I’m interrogating someone.”

“This is an unpleasant topic, so I suggest we find something else to discuss.”

“It might be best for us if you tell me where Mr. Weasley is.”

“Why?”

“Because someone has suggested you would be happier if he was in your life.”

A piece of rice went down the wrong way. She erupted into a coughing fit until tears came to her eyes.

“Ms. Granger!” Severus stoof

She held up her hand.

He looked on, his glow going white.

She snarled as her breathing evened. “Who told you I would be happier with Ron?”

“Sirius Black.” 

“Tell him to go fuck himself.”

Mr. Snape’s mouth hung open as he plopped into his seat.

“No better yet, tell him to stay out of my business," she snapped.

“I’m only trying to determine what happened which has made you the way you are. Perhaps if some things were reconciled…”

“You want me to reconcile with him?”

His mouth closed again.

“I have no intention of ever seeing him again, much less reconciling with him!” She took the napkin off her lap and threw it onto her plate.

“I was only trying to ascertain what you needed.”

“Do you know what I need?”

“What?”

“I need you to stay out of my romantic life and just teach me to cook and make potions with me.”

“You only want me to teach you things?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yes," she crossed her arms over her chest.

“So that’s all I am to you,” He stood as his glow became bright red. “Some kind of glorified servant.”

“Isn’t that your goal, make me happy until you leave?”

“I may be helping you, but you are not my master!”

“And I’m not your charity project!”

They glared at each other.

“I’m only trying to help you,” Severus growled. “Clearly you think you can dominate me and make me your glorified maid.”

“If you were my maid you’d be cleaning my house.”

“Someone needs to clean it!" he threw up his hands. "I’m surprised you can find anything with all the piles around!”

“Oh so now I’m defective!” She stood.

“I never said that. I said you were messy.”

“No, we’re back to that! I’m the dunderheaded student you must save. You must think I’m the most helpless woman on the face of the earth! To you I’m nothing more than a means for you to get to heaven.”

“And I’m nothing more than someone you can boss around until she has everything she needs!"

“You get to go to heaven. Isn’t that good enough for you?” She retorted.

“Not if I have to serve another master.”

“I thought you liked me!”

“I do, but you’re usually far more pleasant than this!”

“You’re usually far less intrusive.”

“Excuse me for caring!”

“You’re excused!”

Hermione was glowering at Mr. Snape as his glow turned orange.

“Do you want to know what will make me happy?” She snapped.

“Should I care?” He growled.

“I would be happy if you leave.”

“You cannot force me out.”

“Just watch me! I can find some holy water and sprinkle it on you.”

“That only works on damned spirits." He rolled his eyes. "Souls in Purgatory are saved.”

“You’d know that, wouldn’t you?”

“I would.”

Hermione turned her back to him.

“I’m leaving not because you told me to, but because I do not want to waste my time with someone who only sees me as a glorified servant." Mr. Snape raised his head.

“Fine! Go!”

The room grew cold.

Crookshanks snuck back into the room and glanced at Hermione.

“What do you want?” She spat.

The half-kneazle glared at her.

Hermione’s eyes fell to the glob of for on her chair. Boiling tears came to her eyes.

Why do I chase away everyone who wants to help me? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a way to start the week!
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	32. Chapter 32

Sirius knew better than to open his mouth.

Severus’ body was a crackling bright orange. It would only take one foolish movement for him to erupt into flames. Better to do nothing then feel the full brunt of his wrath.

“Your brilliant plan blew up in our face!” Severus shouted.

“What plan?”

“The plan to ask about Mr. Weasley! It failed spectacularly!”

Sirius squirmed.

“Not only does she despise Mr. Weasley, but she despises me now as well!”

He kept his gaze on the orange spirit.

“She kicked me out of her house! She told me to leave! She wants nothing to do with me, and it’s all your fault!” Severus erupted into flames.

Only the fires of hell could compare with the brightness of Severus’ body. Had Sirius had skin, he would have third degree burns.

“SHE HATES ME AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!” His voice sounded less like a spirit and more like a feral, wounded animal.

Sirius backed away.

“SHE HATES ME!”

“Why do you think she hates you?” Sirius squeaked.

The flames were extinguished, though his body was still orange. “She hates me, and it’s all your fault!”

“What exactly happened?”

Severus’ glow intensified. “Why should I tell you anything?”

“If you fail this mission I go back to Purgatory. I need to know what happened.”

“Go to hell!”

“Thankfully I’m not going there, but I’d like to avoid more Purgatory time. In order to do so, I need to know what happened so we can work through it.”

“You just want to mock me,” Severus hissed.

“Mocking you won’t help me. I want time off of Purgatory, not tack more time on.”

Severus’ glow pulsated.

"You want time off of Purgatory too. It's in your best interest to help me in order to help yourself."

"All you've done is muck this up!"

“This may not be as bad as you believe. I know Hermione. Perhaps I can smooth things over between you two.”

“How? You can’t talk to her!”

“No, but I know how she thinks. I can give you insight into what she may do.”

“You don’t know the first thing about her!”

“Tell me what happened and we’ll see how much or little I know about her.”

“Fine.” Severus’ glow was bright red. “I asked her about Ron. She told me it was none of my business and to stay out of her life. Also, she told me to tell you to go have sexual intercourse with yourself.”

“There’s no need to make things up.”

“I would not make that up!”

Sirius stared at him, looking for any sign of sarcasm. He came up empty. His glow dulled and his voice was softer. “She really did not want to discuss her love life the?”

“No.”

“What happened after you asked her about it?”

“We got in a fight. She accused me of treating her like a charity case, and then said I was only good for helping her in potions. I told her I wouldn’t serve another master. Then she threatened to sprinkle me with holy water. When I told her how futile that would be she kicked me out.”

“So you left?”

“I left a few seconds later. I told her I wanted to depart because I did not want to waste my time with someone who thought I was a glorified servant.” His glow became a stark white as his eyes bulged. His voice was softer. “Did I truly imply Ms. Granger was a waste of time?”

“It sounds like you did.”

“I called her a waste of time.”

“It sounds like it.”

Severus crumpled onto the floor.

“Wait to go Mr. I’m So Amazing with Women! I’m sure she’s blown away by your amazing people skills!”

Severus buried his face into his hands.

“I’m sure St. Pete and Dismas will love to hear how you blew it with her! I’ll bet they’re putting together our Purgatory rooms right now all because you couldn’t keep from blowing your temper for five bloody minutes!”

“How could I imply she was a waste of time?” Severus squeaked.

“I’m not going down with you!” Sirius exclaimed. “This mission failed because of you, not me!”

“I called her a waste of time,” Severus whispered.

“Yes, you did, but don’t worry! I’m going to make it clear that this has nothing to do with me. All I did was give advice you couldn’t carry out. None of this is my fault! None of it!”

Severus was blue. “I told her she was my friend yesterday, only to say the most hurtful thing I could think to say to her today.”

“I think we established that.”

“I pushed her away,” Severus’ glow became a darker blue. “I pushed her away as hard as I could. Now, I may never see her again.”

Sirius stood.

“She was the best thing that’s happened to me in years, yet I said that to her. How could I be such a dunderhead?”

“Because you are a dunderhead! As arrogant as you are, you’d think you’d have any idea how to deal with people.”

Severus remained curled in a ball.

Sirius glanced around the room. “St. Pete and Dismas aren’t here yet. There’s a chance we can salvage this.”

“How? Ms. Granger is gone." Severus' voice was weak.

“No, but I can still get to heaven.”

“I don’t care about heaven!”

Sirius glared at him. “Would you not say that?”

“I just lost the best friend I’ve ever had, and you’re worried about watching a bloody TV screen for the next millennium?”

"It isn't my fault you blew this."

"I know. I blew it. I had something beautiful and I blew it all to hell."

Sirius’ glow was a light blue as he glanced at the other man. If spirits could have cried, Severus would be in tears, uncaring as to who else was watching. It was one thing to imagine him weeping alone in a room over a girl, but doing so in front of his mortal enemy?

Could it be that Sirius didn't understand how deeply Severus cared about Hermione?

“When you go to Purgatory, they’ll show you a few pleasant memories from your youth." Severus continued. "All they will show me is how I lost Ms. Granger because I shouted at her. I lost her the same way I lost Lily.”

“Hermione isn’t Lily," Sirius spoke to Severus as if he was a person in pain, not an arrogant, greasy git.

Severus did not look up.

“Hey,” Sirius nudged him with his foot. “Hermione isn’t Lily. She may forgive you.”

“Why would she forgive me?”

“Because that’s who she is.”

Severus glanced up.

“Hermione isn’t wrathful.” Sirius knelt beside him. “She is capable of forgiveness.”

“Nobody has ever messed up around her like I just did.”

“Something tell me Ron treated her much worse than you did right now.”

“She never forgave Mr. Weasley, why would she forgive me?”

“Because she cares for you and understands that you sometimes say stupid things.”

"Why would anyone forgive me for saying something stupid, especially something so hurtful?"

“Look,” Sirius’ glow dimmed. “This is nothing like your situation with Lily."

"How? I insulted a friend. It's the exact same situation!"

"No, it's not because Hermione doesn't behave like Lily at all."

"How?"

"Lily was looking for reasons to dump you." Sirius kept his eyes on the other spirit. "She told us as much before we, well you know.”

“She was talking to James behind my back?” Severus shook.

“Yeah, and she wasn’t just berating him for being rude to you." Sirius replied. "They were friends before she dumped you. She just didn't have the guts to tell you that."

Severus looked down.

“But Hermione isn’t like that," Sirius continued. "She hasn’t been talking to any other spirits, so you should be fine there.”

Severus’ frown deepened.

“Nobody has come to collect us," Sirius continued. "This means we have a chance, but we have to play our hand perfectly in order to make this right.”

“Why bother? I will just muck everything up again." Severus shook his head.

“We’re going to bother because Hermione is worth it.”

Severus blinked.

“Okay, let me put it this way." Sirius continued. "If the saints are giving us one last chance to see her, don’t you want to make that time count?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s rehearse what you’re going to say to her.”

Severus gave him a blank expression.

“Rehearsing often helps me figure out what to do in a difficult situation. It could work for you.”

“I know, but you are no Hermione.”

“True, you hate me much more than you hate her," Sirius' glow became yellow. "Meaning you’re more likely to lose your temper with me. If you can keep your cool around me, you can do it around her.”

Severus’ glow returned to its usual hue.

“So, what’s the first thing you are going to tell her?”

“I deeply apologize for implying you were a waste of time. I did not mean it at all.”

“Great start.”

“But…”

“No!" Sirius snapped. "Do not say ‘but.’”

Severus scowled. “You didn’t let me finish.”

“I don’t need to,” Sirius replied. “The second you say, ‘but’ is the second she pulls out her holy water and starts sprinkling it on you.”

“But she was behaving unreasonably too."

“Yes, but you don’t tell her that in the moment. You have to focus on getting back in her good graces.”

“I refuse to grovel at her feet.” If Severus could've huffed he would've done so.

“A second ago you were ready to throw yourself in Purgatory because you were so upset at how you treated her, and now you don’t want to grovel.” Sirius groaned. "You truly are hopeless."

“This situation is extremely complicated.”

“No, this is very simple. Hermione thinks you’re like every other man in her life who has insulted and abandoned her. You need to set yourself apart from them.”

“What would you have me do? I cannot bring her flowers or chocolates.”

“True, and those do help in situations such as this.” Sirius scratched his chin.

Severus’ glow returned to its blue hue. “She will never take me back.”

“With that kind of attitude she probably won’t.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“You need to apologize to her, and show her you’re remorseful, but you can’t lose all your self-respect. Otherwise, she’ll only be with you out of pity.”

“Just like Lily was.”

“Yeah.” Sirius’ glow lessened. “A little like her.”

Silence fell between them.

“I have never been forgiven before,” Severus whispered.

“Then this will be a new experience for both you and her," Sirius answered.

“How?”

“I don’t think a man has ever said, ‘I’m sorry’ to her and meant it as much as you do.”

“Truly?”

“Truly.” Sirius gave him a soft smile.

“That would be unfortunate," Severus mused.

“It is, which is why she needs a man to take some responsibility for his actions without being so pathetic she feels nothing but pity for him.”

“I do not know if I can manage that.”

“I think you can.” Sirius put a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re only saying that because you want out of Purgatory.” 

“No, I’m saying it because you care of her.”

“Not enough to stay out of my own way.”

“Get over yourself for ten seconds," Sirius snapped. "If you didn’t care for her you wouldn’t keep telling me heaven doesn’t matter as much as her happiness. You wouldn’t be tearing yourself up over losing her.”

“Perhaps.”

“Hermione is not a dunderhead. She will see how much you care for her and react accordingly. All you need to do is apologize and let her see how much you care.”

“What if she rejects me?”

“What if she accepts your apology?”

His glow brightened.

“I’ll tell you what,” Sirius stood. “I’ll spy for you. Granted I was going to do that anyway, but this time I’ll pay even closer attention to how Hermione’s feeling, see if she mentions you at all.”

Severus pursed his lips together.

“If she’s as torn up about it as I think she is, I’ll let you know.”

“I would like that.”

“In the meantime.” Sirius patted his back. “Start practicing that sincere apology. Have it come from the heart, and don’t say ‘but.’”

“I think I can manage that,” Severus replied.

“I know you can,” Sirius smiled and turned towards the wall.

“I cannot believe I am saying this, but thank you for the vote of confidence," Severus began.

“Believe me, I’m saying many things I thought I’d never say to you," Sirius replied. "Including ‘you’re welcome.’”

“Be aware though,” Severus stood. “If Ms. Granger takes me back, I will return to despising you.”

Sirius grinned. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

With that, he disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	33. Chapter 33

The fight was as bad as Severus claimed it was.

Hermione stared at the parchment upon her desk. Not once had her finger moved from the third line. Her tangled hair and puffy eyes betrayed her lack of sleep. It was as if she had spent all night replaying the most unpleasant memories of her life.

How was Sirius going to fix this?

A knock on her door interrupted his thoughts. Sirius backed away as she trudged over to answer it.

“Harry?”

“Hey.” He stepped inside the office. “Is this a bad time?”

“No.” She closed the door behind her. “I was just going over some paperwork.”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt you if you’re busy.”

“No, I'm fine.” She swallowed. “Everything’s fine.”

Harry’s eyes softened. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Hermione stood up straighter and forced herself to smile. “Nothing at all.”

Harry kept his gaze on her.

“I’m fine,” she sat at her desk. “It’s just been a busy day, that’s all.”

“The store seems fairly calm.”

“Looks are deceptive. There’s a lot of paperwork to catch up on.”

“Is there so much to do that you haven’t even bothered to brew yourself a cup of coffee?”

Sirius glanced at her desk. Indeed, there was no coffee cup, nor was the light on the coffee machine flashing. Perhaps Harry should be the one to spy on Hermione…

“I haven’t gotten around to it," she shrugged. "Although I probably should make some soon.”

“It’s almost noon.”

“It is?”

He nodded.

She crumpled into her chair.

“What’s wrong?” Harry leaned against her desk. “And don’t even think about saying, ‘nothing.’”

“Fine,” she took a deep breath. “Do you remember that person who was visiting my house to brew potions with me?”

“Oh Mr. Black Dress?”

She raised her eyebrow.

“That’s what Luna and I call him. You haven’t worn that dress for anyone other than him, hence the name.”

“Well he’s gone," She shook her head "And it’s going to take more than a dress to get him to return.”

“I thought you were only going to see him a few times.”

“I thought so, but something between us changed. He’s been coming over to my house every night for a couple of weeks now, including last night.”

“What happened?”

“He asked about Ron.” She swallowed

“Oh.”

She hung her head.

“What did he say about Ron?” His voice was softer, as if he was consoling a child.

“He just said he knew we were one part of the Golden Trio and wanted to know what had become of us.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I yelled at him and told him to mind his own bloody business.” She glanced up.

“I doubt he was expecting that.”

“That wasn’t even the worst part." A tear came to her eyes. "After I told him where to stick it, he accused me of taking advantage of him….”

“Wait, why would he accuse you of that?”

“It’s a long story, but he’s been helping me with a few things.”

“I’m sure you showed him how much you appreciated it.”

“I tried, but during the fight I was getting so angry and just started shouting things. I made it sound like I was only using him for his knowledge of potions and for his ability to teach me how to cook.” Her throat constricted.

“You’re learning how to cook?”

“I was, until he left.”

“You can still learn how to cook. Luna could show you how to make a few things before James is born," he offered.

“No, I’ll get by.” She sighed.

“Perhaps, but if you’re cooking you may be eating healthier, which is great.”

“I know, but this isn’t about the cooking lessons. It’s about the fact that I made him feel as if he was my servant. It was never my intention, but looking back, I may not have appreciated him as much as I could have.”

“I’m sure you’ve done a better job than you thought. He may be too upset to realize that.”

“True, but I did yell some hurtful things.” Her lower lip quivered. “I would give anything to take them back, or at least apologize to him.”

“Is there any way you could contact him?” He put a hand on her shoulder.

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Do you want me to find him so you can make up with him?”

“No!”

He startled and released her.

“I mean, that really won’t be necessary. If he’s gone, it means he returned to where he came from. You wouldn’t be able to track him.”

“I’m an auror,” he argued. “I can track anyone.”

“Not this person,” she replied. “Even if you could, I doubt he’d want to see you.”

“He wouldn’t want to see me if he’s hurting you.”

“I appreciate your protectiveness, I truly do, but this isn’t the time for it.”

“Perhaps, but I can still find him and put in a good word for you.”

“If my friends start harassing him he’ll be even less likely to return.”

“True.” Harry took a deep breath. “If I’d only known someone for two weeks at most I would be a little weirded out if their friends started knocking on my door.”

She bit her lower lip.

“Still, I could find him so you can write him a letter.”

“I don’t think an owl could fly to where he is.”

“Owls can fly almost anywhere with the right type of magic.”

“Not where he is they can’t.” She whispered.

“Merlin Hermione, you make it sound like he lives on some unscalable mountain.”

“That isn’t too far from the truth," she muttered.

“If that’s the case and he’s already returned, then perhaps it’s time to consider moving on.”

“What?”

“Look,” Harry began. “It’s clear you are interested in him…”

“I am not romantically interested him!”

Harry stepped back.

“He was just a friend. We never could’ve been lovers!” She argued.

“Why?”

“We have our reasons.”

“Something tells me they are not be very good ones.”

“There are many logically sound reasons we cannot be together. the first and most important of which is I don’t care for him like that.”

“Then why do you look ready to have yourself a good cry?" He asked.

“Because I enjoyed having someone around who didn’t ask questions about my past and who seemed to want to help me. That’s why I got so upset when he brought up Ron, because I was enjoying my break from the past," she replied. "Like a dunderhead, I lost it, and didn’t give him any chance to explain himself.”

“Did he say he knew anything about Ron?”

“He only knows we were two members of the Golden Trio. Instead of telling him more, I just yelled at him and kicked him out.”

Harry hummed.

“I was a dunderhead, but I panicked. Looking back, I can see why he thought I was taking advantage of him. Still, I didn’t mean to. All I wanted was to be his friend." She choked. "Looking back, that was foolish to hope for.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

She sniffed.

“Anyone who really gets to know you knows how amazing of a friend you are.”

“Too bad I always find ways to ruin it.”

“You made a mistake, but perhaps it isn’t as horrible as you believe.”

“How could my actions be anything but horrible?"

“I mean that I’m the best auror in Britain.” Harry stood up straighter.

“I thought I made it clear you shouldn’t try to find him.” Hermione's frown deepened.

“I don’t think I need to find him.”

She cocked her head.

“I have a hunch about this man.” Harry grinned. “I think he’s going to come back.”

“Why would you think that?” Another tear trickled down her face.

“Because he’s an idiot if he doesn’t know how fortunate he is to have you in his life.”

“I don’t think he’s that fortunate to have me.”

“How could you say that?”

“He deserves a better friend than me. I’m sure he’s already wishing he could be with someone who has her act together.”

“You do have your act together.”

She bowed her head.

He rubbed her back. “If this man is half as wonderful as you seem to think, then he’ll find a way to return so you can at least discuss this issue.”

“I don’t know if he can.”

“If he wants to see you, he will find a way.”

She raised her head. “Do you truly believe that?”

“I do.”

She stood and hugged him. “Where would I be without you?”

“Probably in your sitting room eating a tub of strawberry ice cream and reading a trashy romance novel.” He returned the embrace.

She laughed. “Probably.”

“Now.” He released her. “If I were you, I would wear my little black dress this evening, get all made up, and wait for him to come. When he comes, he won’t know what hit him.”

“I look like an absolute train wreck right now. No dress or make over is going to make me look even remotely presentable,” she argued.

“You’d be surprised. I mean when Luna wears her low cut burgundy dress,” he winked.

“Alright!”

Harry chuckled.

“Thank you,” she exhaled. “For everything.”

“No problem, but if you really want to thank me for everything.” Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a brown paper bag. “Eat this. I got it from La Hacienda.”

She opened it and grinned. “Thank you. I could use a chicken burrito right about now.”

“See, I told you I’m a good auror.”

“Perhaps you are better than I give you credit for.”

His eyes softened. “Take care of yourself and remember that if he doesn’t come back, you’re better off without him.”

“I’ll try.”

“Floo me if you need anything.” He squeezed her hand.

“I will.”

He strolled out the door. Once he shut it, she raised her head to heaven.

“Oh God, if there’s any chance you can make Mr. Snape come back, please do it.”

Sirius disappeared, more than happy to answer her prayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	34. Chapter 34

Hermione felt like the biggest dunderhead alive.

Against her better judgment, she had decided to leave work early in order to dress up for the evening. It had taken less time than she’d expected to tame her matted hair into face shaping curls and apply some tasteful makeup. As a finishing touch, she wore her black dress. Satisfied that she appeared presentable, her next course of action was clear.

She would warm up some leftover spaghetti and eat half a tub of strawberry ice cream.

As she watched the plate of pasta turn in the microwave, she wondered if Mr. Snape could ever forgive her for the consequences of her actions. Had she damned him to a century of flames and smoke filled corridors? If they showed him a television of his life, would they include his afterlife? Would he be an astute enough spy to detect that she didn’t mean a word of what she had yelled, or would his pain preclude him from ever wanting to see her again?

The room warmed.

Her heart raced as she pulled out the plate. The room seemed to have more light. Dare she hope they had allowed Mr. Snape to return?

“Ms. Granger?”

Hermione spun around, dropping the plate.

“I apologize for startling you,” Mr. Snape’s glow dimmed. “It seems that all I have done recently is make one blunder after another.”

“No, you’re fine.”

“I see that you were expecting a visitor.” His glow was a dull blue. “I will not keep you for long.”

“Don’t leave,” she bent down and began sliding the spaghetti back onto the plate.

“I do not want to interfere with your evening plans.”

“I’m not doing anything actually.”

He raised an eyebrow. “If you are not busy, then why are you in that dress again? Surely you don’t lounge about as if you are expecting a man to sweep you off of your feet.”

“It’s a long story, but please stay. There are some things I need to tell you.”

“There are things I need to tell you as well.”

She stood and cast a cleaning spell on the floor.

“Are you going to eat the food that just came off the ground?” His frown deepened.

“Why should I let it go to waste?”

“Because it’s been on the floor and is probably infested with germs.”

“I have a ten second rule.”

“I cannot keep track of time anymore, but that felt more like thirty seconds.”

“Fine, it may have been longer, but the floor isn’t that dirty.”

“I do not mean to demean your cleaning abilities, but I doubt it is as clean as you believe.”

Crookshanks marched over and sniffed a clod of tomato sauce.

“I believe that eating that spaghetti is inadvisable," Mr. Snape concluded.

“Even if it is, I don’t have much of a choice." She sighed. "There isn’t much food left, and I doubt you’re going to teach me how to cook tonight.”

“We have more important things to focus upon than a cooking lesson.”

“Agreed.”

An awkward silence fell between them.

“So you dressed up for no one?” Mr. Snape asked.

“Maybe.” She bowed her head.

“I see.”

“You think I’m pathetic, don’t you?”

“No, but I am not being articulate.” He put his hand on his head. “I am honestly at a loss to explain my recent behavior. I can navigate the intricacies of Death Eater politics and can endure the chaos of an Order meeting. Yet when I see you, I am clueless as to what constitutes socially acceptable behavior.”

“Why?” She stepped closer to him.

“I’m sure it’s the effects of being deceased, though as Sirius would love to point out I was never adept at talking to women, especially ones wearing black dresses.”

“What are you saying?”

“I mean to say.” His glow was white. “It means I struggle to apologize in front of anyone, especially you.”

She sat at her table.

“Ms. Granger, I am truly sorry for implying you were a waste of time. You are anything but a waste of time. I enjoy every moment of being with you," he sat across from her.

“You do?”

“Yes, and it was horrendous of me to imply otherwise. You are the closest thing I have to a friend, perhaps the onlyearthly one I’ve ever had." His voice softened. "If you can ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be forever grateful.”

“Do you consider me your master?”

“No.” His voice cracked. “I have not believed that for one second. When I become flustered though, I say things I do not mean or know are not true. It is one of the many reasons why I struggle in social relationships.”

“You aren’t alone in that trait.” Hermione reached for him. “I tend to find the best way to make any situation worse.”

“You have my situation infinitely better though, better than I could have imagined.” He brushed his hands against hers, going right through it.

She blushed.

“You had every right to yell at me. I was prying when I brought up Ron, and you deserved better. Somehow, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

She smiled and withdrew her hand. “You were forgiven the moment you left.”

His glow became yellow.

“I forgive you, and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

His glow brightened. “Why would you need to be forgiven.

“Because you were only trying to help me by asking about Ron. Instead of appreciating your efforts, I yelled at you. I am so sorry I behaved that way.”

“There is no need to apologize.”

“Yes, there is,” she replied. “I never meant to allow you to feel taken advantage of, but upon further reflection I realized that other than helping you reach heaven, I’ve offered you nothing. The relationship has been you giving everything and me taking everything. The makes me no different than anyone else in your life, and that is unacceptable.”

“You are not using me.”

“I don’t intend to, but after some reflection I decided that if you ever came back I would start treating you like a friend.”

“You have treated me more like a friend than almost anyone else has.”

“That is a sad statement,” she shook her head. “In any case, I am the one who screwed up. If I had been more hurtful, I could’ve ruined your chances of heaven. For that, I deeply apologize.”

“If I had ruined my chances at heaven, I would have nobody to blame but myself.”

“There were two people in that argument.”

“Yes, but…”

“No.” She held up her hand. “I played my role in this fight, and need to make things right.”

“Very well then. What do you propose?”

“First,” she sat up straighter. “I need to tell you about Ron.”

“If you do not want to tell me anything I will accept that. We can discuss something else.” He eyes fell on her dinner. “Or you could eat.”

“No, we need to discuss this, and I can always cast a warming spell on my food.”

“True.”

“You are my friend, and something this important shouldn’t be kept from you,” She took a shaky breath. “Perhaps if I explain things it will make my situation in life clearer.”

Mr. Snape nodded.

“Ron and I began dating as the war was coming to a close.” She cleared her throat. “It was a disaster from the beginning. At first he wanted to become an auror, but he failed the entrance exam. I was retaking my seventh year at Hogwarts at the time. He flooed me and began blaming me for it because I didn’t help him study enough. I told him where to stick it, and that should’ve been the end.”

“Yet it wasn’t."

“No. A week later he sent an owl with roses and chocolates. At the time I found it romantic, so I took him back. I had no idea it would become a vicious cycle of breaking up, making up, and then arguing until our throats were sore.”

He nodded.

“Ron used his fame to get him a position on the Chudely Cannons. I think he was a keeper, but don’t quote me on it." She cleared her throat. "In the meantime, I went to the university. For the next two years we engaged in a cycle of fighting, making up, having stability, only to begin fighting again, which led to another break up. It took so much of my energy and tore me to shreds emotionally but I figured we would work through everything. If we could make it through a war together, we could make it through a marriage and children, right?”

“Not at all. The Second Wizarding War was only a few years, but marriage is a lifetime. In no way should they ever be equated.”

“I know that now, but the time I was naive and too in love to see straight.” She took a sip of her cabernet. “Around our third year anniversary, Viktor Krum bought a second home in England. Apparently he was impressed when he spent his year in Hogwarts, and the British women gave him all the adoration he could ask for.”

“Of course they did.”

“Naturally, we got back in touch, just as friends. Ron caught wind of it and became jealous. He became more possessive and the fighting escalated. It became so turbulent that there were nights he wouldn’t return to our shared apartment. Then there were the rumors swirling around.”

He twisted his lower lip.

“Obviously there were rumors about Viktor and me, but some concerned Ron too. A few reporters saw him talking to Lavender, and others took pictures of him embracing her for much longer than was necessary. When I confronted him about it, he called me clingy and that I needed to start trusting him more. I relaxed, until the day my evening class got cancelled. I went home hoping to surprise him.” She huffed. “It turns out I was the one in for a surprise.”

He kept his gaze on her.

“I’ll never forget the look of pure bliss on Lavender’s face as she fucked Ron on our bed. He was whispering sweet nothing he hadn’t said to me in at least a year. A few times he even told her he loved her.”

“What an arse.” Severus’ glow was a dull red.

“It turned out that I was not much better.”

“How could you be worse than him of you weren’t cheating?”

“I was so infuriated I ran out to a bar. Viktor happened to be there. We talked, I had too many cocktails. Before I knew it we were kissing like there was no tomorrow.” She groaned. “It was so stupid and out in public too. I was too drunk to even think that someone could’ve recognized me.”

“Krum did not take advantage of you, did he?”

“No, it never went further than kissing, but the damage was done. I spent the night in a hotel room to clear my head. When I woke up the next morning.” She slumped in her chair. “There I was on the front page, with Viktor.”

He twisted his lower lip.

“Before I could think of damage control, Ron went to all the media outlets and told him how shocked he was. He cried about how there was no one but me, and played the victim. Of course everyone believed him. Rita went so far as to bring up my fifth year when I was allegedly stringing along Harry and Viktor. Soon, almost everyone thought I was nothing more than a slut.”

“At least Harry, Draco, and Ginevra took your side.”

“Harry came over the night the story ran and asked me for an explanation. When I told him everything, he admitted that he suspected Ron had been cheating, but didn’t want to tell me until he had concrete evidence of him doing so. Draco had been pleading for me to dump Ron for some time, so he approved of me kissing another man. Ginny was a harder sell, but once she cooled down and listened to Harry and Draco, she realized Ron was in the wrong. When he announced that he was dating Lavender, she cut him out of her life.”

“Perhaps Draco doesn’t have as questionable a taste in women as I feared.”

“No, he has great taste in women.” She exhaled. “Anyway, I was being blasted in all the papers, and nobody cared to hear my side. The press hounded me until I moved to Australia for a year. When I came back, I wanted to fly under the radar as much as possible. I quit the university and got a job as a cashier in a bookstore. It seemed natural given my love of books. The owner was elderly though, and her children had no intention of inheriting the store. Thus when she died, I inherited it. I’ve been running _Paradisio Books_ ever since.”

“I am so sorry you had to undergo any of that.” Severus' glow was a soft yellow.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it is not okay." His voice grew stronger. "Ronald was emotionally abusive, and then twisted the truth when his affair was nearly exposed. There is no excuse for his actions. You are well rid of him.”

“I think I believe that now.”

“You needed to be convinced of that fact?”

She shrugged. “I always figured I was the one who messed up by kissing Viktor. The breakup was in part my doing.”

“Perhaps you should have gone about things differently, but it does not excuse his actions.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“I apologize for ever bringing him up." He leaned closer to her. "Had I known what he’d done I never would have done so.”

“No, you needed to know the truth. Still, when you asked about him, I was so scared you’d judge me too.”

“How could I judge you given everything I’ve done?”

“I’m so used to people judging me I jump to the conclusion that they will. Often, people only see me as the third member of the Golden Trio. They see my accomplishments, my scandals, and little else. After a while, I became so sick of it I closed myself off to everyone except a few people,” Her voice was softer. “Including you, Severus.”

“I am honored you would share that part of your story with me, Ms. Granger.”

“That is my second condition,” she replied. “We need to start calling each other by our first names.”

His glow dimmed.

“If we are to be friends, we need to address each other as such. No more of this professional colleagues nonsense. I need to know that we care for each other as partners.”

Severus stood and walked out of the kitchen. A tear trickled down her cheek. Of course this was too much to ask.

He reemerged with the pillow. “I agree to call you Hermione if you call me Severus.”

She burst out laughing before shaking the pillow. “Deal!”

For a brief moment Severus’ glow was pink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm at a crossroads. As many of you know, I take a week off from my original works to post some of my older works here. There is no more old works to post, however. So, I'm torn as to what the do. I have 60 more chapters written, meaning I could post weekly for a couple of months and still not run out. Still, I want to make sure in the future the story isn't interrupted if I become busy. So, I'll leave it up to you readers. Do you want me to post weekly now or continue the every other week schedule knowing I may run out at some point in the distant future? Just let me know in the comments!
> 
> Once again thank you for your support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	35. Chapter 35

_Once upon a time our anatomy was quite different from what it is now._

Sirius’ glow brightened. This was an interesting way of beginning a philosophical speech.

_In the first place there were not merely two sexes as there are now, male and female, but three, and the third was a combination of the other two. This sex itself has disappeared but its name, androgynous, survives. At that time the androgynous sex was distinct in form and name, having physical features from both the male and the female_

This was already more fascinating than the other speeches combined! Perhaps there were a few interesting things even Severus enjoyed.

_Secondly, the form of every person was completely round, with back and sides making a circle, and with four arms, the same number of legs, and two faces exactly alike set on a round neck. There was one head for the two faces (which looked in opposite ways), four ears, two sets of genitals and everything else as you might guess from these particulars. They walked about upright, as we do today, backwards or forwards as they pleased. Whenever they wanted to move fast they pushed off from the ground and quickly wheeled over and over in a circle with their eight limbs, like those acrobats who perform cartwheels by whirling round with their legs straight out._

People as bouncing balls? Who sat up and thought of these things? The Oracle of Delphi may not have been the only one inhaling hallucinogens.

_The reason for the sexes being as they were and three in number is that originally the male was the offspring of the Sun, the female of the Earth, and the androgynous of the Moon which shares the nature of both Sun and Earth. Because they resembled their parents the offspring themselves were round and their movement was circular also. They were awesome in strength and might, and their ambition was great too. They made an assault on the gods, and what Homer says about Ephialtes and Otus is said about these too, that they tried to make an ascent to heaven in order to attack the gods._

Sex, drugs, music, and violence! This was a story Sirius could enjoy!

“Are you sure you want to eat out of the carton like that?”

“Why not?” Hermione dug her spoon into the strawberry ice cream carton.

“I don’t know,” Severus admitted. “It just seems like eating out of a bowl would be more civilized.”

“Are you calling me uncivilized?” She smirked.

“Perish the thought,” his glow was a bright yellow. “Still, I thought only women on TV ate out of the ice cream carton when they were depressed.”

“First of all, I am not depressed.”

“That is great to hear.”

“Second of all, there is sometimes truth in television.”

“I suppose, but that doesn’t mean you are anything like those women.”

“I’m a woman.” She scooped more ice cream. “All women have things in common, such as eating ice cream directly from a container.”

“What if they are lactose intolerant?”

“There’s always coconut ice cream.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Coconut ice cream?"

"Yes, it's quite delicious."

Severus crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” She took another bite of her ice cream.

“I just didn’t expect you to like coconut ice cream or behave like Kendall Kane.”

“Kendall Kane.” Her eyes were huge. “The character from _Stanley’s Corner_?”

Severus’ glow dimmed.

“Did you watch that show while alive?”

“Of course I didn’t.” His glow was pulsating.“I merely flip channels sometimes and it just happened to be on one day.”

“Then you lingered on a station for too long and before you knew it, you were hooked on a soap opera.”

“Absolutely not.” Severus became white. “I would not be caught dead watching a vapid show such as _General Hospital_ or _Stanley’s Corner_.”

“Oh, so you has two soap operas you were addicted to?” Her eyes were agleam.

“Of course not! It is insulting that you would think so little of me.”

“I don’t think little of you at all. I just find it amusing that you would enjoy soaps.”

“Go ahead and amuse yourself all you want. I do not enjoy those shows in the slightest.”

She giggled. “For the record, my soap of choice is _Stanley’s Corner._ ”

“I have no soap of choice.” If he could have snorted, he would have.

“Sure.” She drawled before taking another bite of ice cream.

_So saying he [Zeus] proceeded to cut everyone in two, just as people cut up sorb-apples for preserving or slice eggs with a hair. As he divided them he told Apollo to take each separated half and turn round the face and half neck to the cut side, so that each person by contemplating its own cut surface might behave more moderately. He also told Apollo to heal their wounds._

Sirius didn’t remember much Greek mythology, but this seemed like something like those jerk gods would do. At least they healed the rolling ball creatures. That counted for something.

_So Apollo proceeded to turn the faces round and gathered the skin all together on the belly, as we now call it, like a purse with a drawstring, leaving one opening in the centre which he fastened with a knot, and which is now called the navel. He also smoothed out most of the wrinkles and fashioned the chest, using a tool such as shoemakers use when they smooth out wrinkles in leather on the last. But he let a few wrinkles remain, around the belly and navel, to be a reminder of what happened ages ago._

As interesting as this was, Sirius was struggling to see how it related to philosophy and love. Sure, love was the greatest of the gods. This had been hammered into his head for the last several chapters. What did slicing a bouncing ball in two have to do with Hermione’s happiness though?

“I’ve had about enough of your conspiracy theories. Soap operas have never interesting me in the slightest, and if I did not care so much for you I would be insulted at the insinuation that I enjoyed them!” Severus' frown deepened.

She took another bite of her strawberry ice cream, a grin still plastered onto her face.

“Will you not get brain freeze from eating that so quickly?” He leaned towards her.

“Probably, but at the moment I feel fine.”

“You should not only live in the moment. Your future is important too.”

She took another bite.

“Getting off the topic of soap operas and onto a more pertinent issue,” he lowered his voice. “Why are you wearing that small black dress?”

Her smile vanished as she glanced down into the carton.

“Were you in the middle of something? Did I interrupt your evening with another man?” His voice softened.

“No.”

“Then why are you dressed as you are?”

“Do you promise not to laugh at my reasoning.”

“Of course I will not. I may laugh with you, but I promise never to laugh at you.”

She relaxed.

_After the original nature of every human being had been severed in this way, the two parts longed for each other and tried to come together again. They threw their arms around one another in close embrace,desiring to be reunited, and they began to die of hunger and general inactivity because they refused to do anything at all as separate beings. Whenever one of the two died and the other was left alone, the survivor would look for another mate to embrace, either the half of an original woman, as we now call it, or the half of a man. But in any case they were beginning to die_

Sirius turned blue. It brought to mind James, Remus, and Peter. Up to this point he had been too infuriated with his lot in the afterlife to dwell on them for too long. Now that he was forced to pause, he realized he missed them more than he would ever care to admit.

Did his friends ever think of him? The busy work in Purgatory was probably ensuring James was too busy to put two thoughts together. Peter was probably frozen in Judecca for his treason. Serves him right. Still, Sirius wouldn’t have minded if his mind turned to him every once in a while. Then there was Remus, who dwelt in heaven. Did he ever give Sirius a passing thought, or was he too preoccupied with being happy to care? If the latter was the case Sirius couldn’t have blamed him. Someone may have told Remus what Sirius had planned to do to Severus that night in the Shrieking Shack. If so, Remus may have washed his hands of Sirius once and for all, which may be what he deserved.

Sirius still missed them.

_Zeus took pity on them and thought up another plan: he moved their genital organs round to the front. Up until then they had their genitals on (what was originally) the outside of their bodies, and conception and birth took place not in the body after physical union but, as with cicadas in the ground. By moving their genitals round to the front, Zeus now caused them to reproduce by intercourse with one another through these organs, the male penetrating the female. He did this in order that when couples encountered one another and embraced, if a man encountered a woman, he might impregnate her and the race might continue, and if a man encountered another man, at any rate they might achieve satisfaction from the union and after this respite turn to their tasks and get on with the business of life._

What happened to the woman who yearned for another woman? They must have needed to fend for themselves. Pity.

Still, intercourse was one way of unifying with another person. Someone had tried to explain that to Sirius, but he’d been too immature to pay attention. What had happened to his many lovers anyway? Did they ever think of him, or was he forgettable? All of them flashed through his mind.

The idea of intercourse as unification intrigued Sirius. It had never occurred to him that he could be unified with another person, heart and soul. Sex could’ve been lovemaking, had he allowed it to be.

Too bad he could never go back and search for a someone to connect with.

“I thought you would be angry when you arrived, assuming you even did,” she whispered. “If this was our last evening together, I wanted it to be memorable. The first was to look nice for you. If I was lucky, I thought I could entice you to stay.”

“You are enticing anyway,” he muttered.

She swallowed. “Excuse me, I didn’t hear you.”

“Nothing,” he sat up straighter. “I’ve just never had anyone dress up for me.”

“That’s a shame.”

“In their defense, I never dressed up for anyone either.”

“Surely you put on some nicer robes for a woman every once in a while.”

“My dating robes were singed.”

She cocked her head.

“It occurred during your first year. Someone put a blueball flame onto my robes. It ruined them.”

Her eyes grew. His lips curled up.

“I am so sorry. If I’d had any idea you actually wore them on dates I would’ve found another way to get you to stop cursing Harry," she replied. "Then again considering that you weren’t doing that in the first place I would take back the acton altogether.”

“You were trying to protect a friend. After some reflection I realize I cannot fault you for that.”

“Yes, but I could have ruined your chance to meet someone. I am so sorry for that.”

“There is no reason to apologize. Not having anything to wear got me out of several blind dates with witches who I’m certain were dunderheads.”

“They couldn’t have all been dunderheads.”

“Enough of the ones I met were to make me swear off dating.”

“But you wouldn’t have sworn it off forever.”

His glow dimmed.”

“If you’d survived the war," her voice was softer, "would you have sworn off dating forever?”

_So it is that ever since that far-off time, love of one person for another has been inborn in human beings, and its role is to restore us to our ancient state by trying to make unity out of duality and to heal our human condition. For each of us is a mere tally of a person, one of two sides of a filleted fish, one half of an original whole. We are all continually searching for our other half._

So this is where the concept of a soulmate came from!

Sirius’ glow intensified. Of course! This is exactly what Hermione needs! A soulmate!

“I honestly could not see myself living past the war, so I did not consider a lover.” His glow was a light blue.

“If you had though, would you have dated?” She set down the ice cream onto the table.

“If I’d met the right woman, perhaps.”

“Perhaps?”

“Yes.”

“At some point you could’ve opened yourself up though. There was no more danger, and you deserved love.”

“True, but it would’ve needed to be under specific circumstances," he answered.

“What would those have been?” She leaned closer to him.

“I would have needed to meet the right woman. She would need to be a particular kind of woman, someone who could understand what kind of man I am. She should not tolerate poor behavior from me, but she’d need to understand that I make mistakes. Intelligence is a must, ambition would be nice.”

“I’ll bet she’d need to know how to cook too.” There was a gleam in her eyes.

“No, I am content to cook for her.” he smirked. “Still, she would need to be self-sufficient. I don’t want anyone who is too clingy, but I want someone who isn’t afraid to tell me she cares. Overall, she would need to accept me for who I am.”

“Perhaps you’ll meet someone in heaven like that.”

“Perhaps she is on earth.”

_Now, whenever a lover of boys, or anyone else for that matter, meets his own actual other half, the pair are overcome to an extraordinary degree by sensations of affection, intimacy and love, and they virtually refuse to be parted from each other even for a short time. These are the couples who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not say what it is they want from one another. For no one would suppose it to be only the desire for love-making that causes the one to yearn for the other so intensely. It is clear that the soul of each wants something else which it cannot put into words but it feels instinctively what it wants and expresses it in riddles._

Severus was right that Ron was not her true love, but her other half was out there. All Sirius needed to do was find him and persuade Severus to help them unite.

_If the god Hephaestus, welding tools in hand, were to stand over them where they lie together, and ask, ‘‘What is it that you two want from each other?’’ they would be unable to answer. Suppose he were to ask them again, ‘‘Is this your desire, to be always together, as close as possible, and never parted from each other day or night? If this is what you want, I am ready to join you together and fuse you until, instead of two, you become one. For your whole lives long the two of you will live together as one, and when you die you will die together and even in the Underworld you will be one rather than two. Tell me if this is what you long for and if it will satisfy you to achieve this’’._

“Were you dating someone before you died?” She asked. “If so I can try to bring her here so you can see her again.”

“No."

"It would be no problem to bring her. Surely you met someone who fit your criteria."

"You are the closest person to meet all my criteria." His glow was a warm yellow. “You are the first person to show me forgiveness and friendship. Nobody has accepted me like you have. For all these reasons, I will always cherish you.”

“You are probably the only man who has apologized and meant it, as well as the only one who forgive me without throwing my mistakes in my face." She grinned.

“I can no longer fathom intentionally hurting you.”

“I feel the same way.”

“Whatever happens, Hermione, please promise me we can remain friends.”

She put her hand over his. Even though it went right through him, she still felt the warmth.

“I promise.

_We know that no one who heard these words would deny them or would admit to wanting anything else. He would simply think that to join with and melt into his beloved, so that instead of two they should become one, was exactly what he had so long desired. The reason is that our nature was originally like this and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love._

Hermione and Severus gazed into each other’s eyes, both wishing they could be united in touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The people have overwhelmingly spoken! I will be posting every weekday from here on out, with no weeks off. The next update will be on Monday.
> 
> Also we had a guest author today. Yep, you just read a part of a Platonic dialogue! The citation is Plato, The Symposium (trans. M.C. Howatson) Cambridge University Press New York
> 
> Thank you so much for the overwhelming support! It is very deeply appreciated.


	36. Chapter 36

“Please Black.” Severus’ smirk covered half his face. “Please repeat what you just said.”

Sirius scowled as he replied through gritted teeth, “Fine, you were right. Aristophanes’ speech was the best part of the book. It was beautiful, and I enjoyed it.”

“It would serve you well to remember this moment.” Severus sat on the couch and crossed his legs. “I am right about a great deal of the time.”

“Of course you’re always right,” Sirius muttered.

Severus’ eyes were agleam.

“Except,” Sirius’ glow intensified. “How did things with Hermione go again?”

“Very well.” Severus’ expression softened.

“Who gave you advice on apologizing to women?”

Severus was white.

“I mean your apology seems to have gone over well." His lips curled up. "I would imagine you managed to avoid using the word ‘but.’ Only an expert would have prevented you from making that error.”

“I managed a sufficient apology on my own.”

"With my help."

He frowned.

“See, I am correct about a few things as well.” Sirius’ expression matched that of Severus’ a few seconds prior.

“Even you cannot be incorrect all the time,” Severus admitted.

“Ha!” Sirius pointed to him and grinned.

“Do not get used to being right." Severus warned. "I guarantee you will disappoint yourself more often than not.”

“I could say the same to you.”

“Believe me, I am correct far more often than you are.” He uncrossed his legs.

“Do you have any proof of that?”

“Yes, I am a professor, and you are not. That is evidence enough of my correctness in matters of the mind.”

“Yet I knew infinitely more about interacting with women than you do.”

Severus furrowed his eyebrows.

“Oh don’t look at me like that. You should be grateful for me. I saved us both from going to Purgatory, and kept Hermione in your afterlife. ”

“It is nice to keep the mission going anyway.”

“You couldn’t have done that without me.”

“You gave some interesting advice. At the end of the day, I was the one who reconciled with her, not you.”

“I didn’t upset her in the first place though. You were the one who got yourself into that mess, and I helped get you out of it.”

Severus twisted his lower lip.

“In all honesty.” The playfulness was gone from Sirius’ eyes. “We need to work on finding her soulmate.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Sirius picked up the book and opened it to the beginning of Aristophanes’ speech. “It says all people roam the earth until we find our other half. If we find that person, then we are so ecstatic we will want to be fused to them.”

“That is just a story," Severus leaned over and examined the page he was pointing too.

“There’s some truth to it.”

“Are you telling me you believe people used to have two heads?” 

“Of course not." Sirius put the book down. "Everyone knows they used to have three heads.”

Severus’ eyes bulged.

“I knew I’d get you on that.” Sirius laughed.

Severus’ glow dimmed. “If you are quite done teasing me…”

“I am." Sirius settled himself. "To return to the topic at hand, I think she could use her soulmate, someone who completes her.”

“She is a complete person without a man.”

“Of course she is. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise,” Sirius replied. “Still, even you said she should find a virtuous friend. What if we were sent to play matchmaker between her and some lucky eligible bachelor?”

“If all I came down to do was play matchmaker then I will tell her goodbye and begin serving my Purgatory sentence,” Severus replied.

Sirius’ glow was a dull red. “You said it was a good idea a few days ago.”

“It is,” Severus admitted. “Yet I don’t think any man is worthy of Hermione’s affections.”

“Oh?” Sirius’ glow returned to its usual hue.

“Hermione is a unique witch, someone who requires an intellectual equal who treats her like the amazing witch she is. I do not think anyone fits that description.”

“Is that the real issue, or are you just overprotective of her?”

"Overprotective?"

"Yes," Sirius smiled. "You want to protect her feelings."

“No, I’m simply focusing in on our mission. We’re meant to help her find eudaimonia. In the process of finding it her heart needs to be protected from dunderheads such as Ronald. From that angle yes, I am protective of Hermione”

“What if I told you I’ll be really careful who I select to be her potential partner?”

“I highly doubt you will put in the necessary care to find someone worthy of her,” Severus crossed his arms over his chest. “Knowing you, you will find someone who is attractive and neglect to ascertain his actual compatibility with her.”

“What if I show him to you first?”

“How can I see him if I can only visit Hermione’s house?”

“I can give you a description of him. If you think he sounds compatible, you can convince Hermione to seek him out," Sirius suggested.

“What if I find his description lacking?” Severus drawled.

“Then I can find someone else, so long as you agree that this idea may work.”

“It could work very well.” Severus’ glow was a dull blue.

Sirius cocked his head. “What is your problem?”

“I do not have a problem.” His glow returned to normal.

“Yes you do. Every time I mention this plan you either turn red or blue. What is your deal?”

“Nothing. I only fear this plan will blow up in our faces.”

“If one man doesn’t work out, we’ll find another.”

“She can only have her heart broken so many times before she becomes even more bitter than she already is.”

“You’re right.” Sirius tapped his chin. “We wouldn’t want her to turn out like you.”

"Excuse me?" Severus snapped.

You heard me.

“There are worse things to be than me," Severus argued.

“Not many.”

Severus’ glow was a dull red.

“Anyway, I’m going to need your help.”

Severus’ glow returned to its usual hue.

“If you were Hermione, where would you go to find a lover?”

“I wouldn’t have the foggiest clue.”

Sirius glared at him.

“I am not trying to thwart you,” he answered. “I genuinely do not know where most women go to find a man. I am inept in their ways after all.”

“You are inept, but you know her! She’s the person you’ve spent the better part of two weeks with. You have to know enough about her to think like her.”

“Very well.” He tapped the couch cushion. “She’s an academic at heart, so I would propose going to a conference or a university. The library would be another place to look.”

“Great,” Sirius moaned. “More boring academic speeches. Maybe if I’m really lucky someone will drone on about Plato for hours on end.”

“I thought you appreciated Plato now.”

“I do, but I don’t want to hear someone overanalyze him in a low monotone voice.”

“Then do not search in a Plato conference. Visit a potions conference, or look at the arithmancy department of a university.”

“Those could work.”

“A librarian would make her happy, or someone who works with books.”

“Yeah.” Sirius nodded. “Those could work too.”

“I wouldn’t opt for a salesman," Severus warned. "She deserves someone more honest than one of them.”

“I agree.”

“You will not find a man worthy of Hermione though.”

“Give me a chance. I’ll find her perfect love for her, and you’ll help her win him over.”

“He should be winning Hermione over, not vice versa.”

“We have no control over him, but we can interact with her.”

“True, but we cannot allow her to embarrass herself for an unworthy man," Severus argued.

“Trust me, I know what women want. We will find the perfect man for her.”

“I suppose we will.” Severus’ glow was blue again.

“Why are you so sad?” Sirius stared at him. “Are you upset because you feel James stole your soulmate?”

“I am not upset at all.” Severus wished he could've huffed to emphasize his point.

“You are blue. Something about this plan is depressing the hell out of you.”

“I’ve told you all my objections, yet you fail to take my warnings into account. There is little else I can do other than pray this does not blow up in her face.”

“You know, you’re acting as if the only man competent enough to be Hermione’s man is you.”

“Me?” Severus was white.

“Yes,” Sirius replied. “You think everyone is so incompetent compared to you. It is as if only you can have an idea that will make Hermione happy.”

“You have no idea how I feel about all of this.”

“Do you know how you feel about this?”

“I feel irritated and wary of this plan.”

“Is that all you feel?”

Severus snarled. “What are you, my therapist?”

Before Sirius could answer, he pulled out _Metaphysics_ and began to read.

“I may need a therapist after all this,” Sirius grumbled.

Severus turned the page.

Sirius pulled out his book, wondering where to begin searching for Hermione’s soulmate.

Severus stared at his page, wondering why he desperately wanted Sirius’ plan to fail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is, the new schedule! Hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	37. Chapter 37

How could someone with a lab this immaculate have the rest of her house in such disarray? Better question, how could someone with a lab this advanced only dabble in potions?

Jars of ingredients were lined in alphabetical order along a shelf along the wall. Not a speck of dust could be found on the tables. The beakers did not contain a single smudge, and the cauldrons still gleamed in the candlelight.

Most importantly, there were a variety of potions ingredients, almost as many as he’d had at Hogwarts. The books on the far wall were for advanced potions students. Why was she not a potions mistress?

“Impressed?” Hermione asked with a small smirk.

Severus twisted his lips. “It is adequate.”

“Which means by most people’s standards it’s amazing.”

“It is professional anyway.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“It very much is,” he replied. “I have never seen an amateur potions maker design this advanced of a lab.”

She blushed.

“Which only leads me to question why the rest of your house is such a disaster zone.”

“I have to keep this space clean, lest I start a fire or injure myself. That isn’t the case with the rest of my house, although I probably should make sure I don’t start stacking books near the oven.”

“You used to do that?”

“Yes.”

Severus frowned and shook his head.

"What? Before you came I never used my oven. Why not use it as storage space until I could get bigger bookshelves?"

“I am beginning to see why the Trinity thought you needed so much help."

“I’m beginning to see why they are allowing you to get into heaven early.”

“They should after this.” There was a spark of humor in his eyes.

“Indeed they should.”

“That being said," he wished he could've cleared his throat for the effect. "If you were better organized you might find your potions notes more easily.”

“You may have a point there.”

“No, I do have a point.” He floated to the front table. He had a wistful expression as he gazed at the cauldron.

“Do you want to help me make the potion?”

He turned around.

“I don’t ever want you to feel used, but I think you might like working again," she continued. "I do remember you mentioning delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins.”

"You remembered that speech?"

"It was one of the highlights of my first year."

His glow was a bright yellow.

"Do you want to feel the sensation of brewing glory again?"

“I would love to, but," he glow was blue. "It is impossible for me to feel it throughout my whole body as I used to.”

“I know, but I thought you may find some joy in reclaiming some of your earthly life. You loved potions, so why not create one last one?”

His glow returned to its usual hue.

“I want you to touch everything in my lab.” She threw up her hands. “You may touch the cauldrons, the scalpels, the ingredients, all of it. If it will help you create our potion, then you may touch it.”

He picked up the cauldron. His eyes glistened.

“Should we get to work?” She asked. “It will go faster if there are two of us.”

His glow intensified. “Get out the turmeric.”

***

How could anyone find a soulmate at a library?

Sirius wandered through the romance shelves, noting that more than a few of the patrons were in desperate need of acne cream. Yet there was one man with polished shoes in a gray business suit. His eyes darted across the shelves before he picked up a book. Blushing, he held it to his chest and darted to his right.

Curious, Sirius followed the man. Once they were in the middle of the library, the man stopped and took another look at the title.

_Die Hard for Love_

The man’s face lit up as he opened the book and began to skim through the pages. Sirius rolled his eyes and strolled towards the nonfiction section of the library. Anyone who would read that trash had no business being near Hermione.

Sirius continued to watch the customers peruse the books. Some of the men were promising, but they either had rings or were checking out books she would never approve of. Finding true love was proving much more difficult than he’d believed.

Still, Sirius Black was not known for giving up. He would scour the land and sea for Hermione’s soulmate, even if it took the next millennium!

Her soulmate couldn’t hide from him forever.

***

Hermione watched scarlet steam waft from the simmering mauve potion. In forty long minutes they would add the final ingredients. Only the Trinity knew what was next.

“We don’t need to stare at it for the next forty minutes,” Severus began. “We can go into your sitting room unless you fear Crookshanks knocking the potion over in our absence.”

"How could you suggest a thing? During the simmer stage we need to ensure there isn't an interaction which will destroy the lab."

“Congratulations, you passed the last test.”

"You were testing me?"

"Indeed, only to get a message through your head before I left." He leaned against the wall. “Most potions students perfectly brew their potions, then leave for the restroom, only for it to explode. I wanted to ensure you were not one of them."

“I would imagine that most of them didn’t take lessons from you though. If they did they would know the importance of being safe at all times.”

“I suppose you sat close enough to Neville to know how paramount safety is.”

She chuckled. “He wasn’t all terrible.”

“He was terrible enough,” he muttered. “He almost burned down the school fifty-seven times.”

“Fifty-seven?”

“Indeed, I counted.”

“Oh you did." She stepped closer to him.

“There was little else to do while I was waiting for the Trinity to give their verdict." He scowled. "They took long enough anyway."

She hummed.

“It feels odd to ask, but how is he doing?”

“He’s doing great.” She sat upon a wooden chair and turned it so she was facing him. “He is working at Hogwarts as your replacement.”

“Oh Merlin!” Severus was completely white.

Hermione burst out laughing again.

“I sweat if I had a heart I would have died of a heart attack at just the thought!" He was less pale.

“I probably would too.”

“Then why must you joke as you do?”

“Because you’re so easy to tease.”

Severus gave her a playful snarl.

“In all honesty," she took a deep breath. "Neville is the herbology professor.”

“I suppose he wouldn’t be too horrid at that. At least he won’t blow anything up.”

“He’s quite good from what I understand, and no, he has not blown the school up.”

“Who runs the school now?”

“Headmistress McGonagall.’

“Oh.” He mused. “She would be an excellent choice, a very worthy successor.”

“She’s done great, especially with help from your portrait," she answered.

“They made a portrait of me?”

“They did. Headmistress McGonagall says she talks to it every day.”

“I would imagine it’s quite the conversationalist.”

“It’s a poor substitute for you.”

“But a more pleasant one for sure.”

“No,” her voice softened. “Not really.”

“I take it you’ve spoken with it,” his glow lessened.

“I honestly didn’t have the heart to. It was only going to remind me of how much I missed you.”

“Sentimental Gryffindor.”

Hermione frowned, only to notice his half grin. She relaxed. “I suppose I am.”

A comfortable silence fell between them.

“Once this potion is done, will you be in heaven?” She asked.

“I doubt it,” he answered. “Unless you feel as if you have obtained eudaimonia.”

“I have a better sense of well-being, and I feel happier than I have in years.”

“I sense a but.”

She gazed into his eyes. They were as black as the day we died, and just as mysterious. Even though he wasn’t occluding, she couldn’t decipher if he was hiding anything. It was both enticing and terrifying.

“What is preventing you from achieving eudaimonia?” He asked.

“Other than my dad surviving, which I need to be happy, I don’t know what else will change. Sure I can stir fry, make boil pasta, and cook rice now, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still can’t cook anything else. My friends will all be married with children, and I’ll be on the outside looking in.”

“I would imagine that is difficult.”

“It is, but as odd as it sounds, that might not be the worst aspect of you leaving.” Her voice grew quieter. “I will miss you once you're gone.”

“I will miss you as well.” His eyes were the most vulnerable she’d ever seen them.

“I know we’re supposed to be friends forever, but…”

There was a pause.

“But?” He drawled.

She lowered her head. What followed the “but?” What did she want to tell him that she hadn’t already? Friends had come and go all of her life. What made Severus so special that she didn’t want to fathom him ever not being by her side?

“Hermione?”

“But,” she raised her head. Her voice was louder. “But I want to do something for you before you reach heaven.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes,” her voice was stronger. “You once said you didn’t want me to become another master, so I want to do something for you as a token of my appreciation.”

“Please don’t take what I said seriously. I was infuriated when I accused you of being my master. I didn’t mean a word of it.”

“You had a point though. I have been taking quite a bit from you and not giving much back. If you’re going to be here for a while, then I need to do something for you.”

“Helping me get to heaven is enough.”

“No, it isn’t,” she replied. “I need to help you in some other way.”

“Not to be rude, but what could you possibly do for me?” He stood up straighter. “There isn’t much a living person could do for a spirit.”

“Living,” she whispered.

“Yes,” he drawled. “You are very much alive.”

“Was there something you wanted to do before you died?” Her eyes lit up.

He shrugged. “I expected to die before the war ended, so I didn’t have any long term plans.”

“Perhaps you weren’t going to scale Kilimanjaro, but you must have had a few potions ideas.”

“I had several actually.”

“Did you ever brew them?”

“No,” He slumped. “Some of them I created before I was a headmaster and then ran out of time to brew them. Others I created as a headmaster, but I obviously did not have time to create them.”

“You remember them though.”

“I am unable to forget anything in the afterlife.”

“Then let’s create them!”

He cocked his head.

“I mean it!” She replied. “Let’s create some of your ideas. I’ll even find a way to give you credit.”

“I would highly recommend you not,” he replied. “You don’t people to know you’re conversing with a spirit no one else can see. People could think you're one cauldron short of a lab so to speak.”

“No, I can’t tell them about you. I know that. What I meant to say is that I’ll tell them I found an old book of your notes and went from there.”

“What if someone asked you for proof that they were my ideas?”

“Then I want you to touch a quill and a parchment so you can scribble some things down.”

“Most people don’t date their notes anyway, so they would have little idea that I didn’t write them,” His glow grew. “Except, where would you have found these notes?”

“Harry and I cleared your office a few days after you died. I didn’t keep anything because it didn’t feel right, but it isn’t beyond the realm of possibility that I snuck out a few notes.”

“I could see you doing that in the name of academic interest.”

“It’ll be our little secret where they came from.” She winked.

“It will be.” His glow was a soft gold.

“Does this mean you’ll give me some ideas for future potions?”

“As long as I am able to stay down here, I will give you as many ideas as I can.”

She looked at him as if he’d just awarded her ten points.

“That being said, we need to finish this potion first.”

Her wand flashed a bright red, signaling the potions needed to tending to.

“Yes,” she strolled towards the cauldron.

“Now.” He floated towards the potion. “After we add the toad’s tongue it will take another forty-eight hours to settle. Once that occurs, we will test the potion’s Ph level. If it is perfect then we will contact a research facility to get this tested. If we are lucky, you will have created your first original potion, and your father will be saved.”

“Do you have faith that I have accomplished my goal?”

His lips curled up. “I have never been so sure of anything in my life.”

Hermione gave him a small smile, knowing she had finally fulfilled her childhood dream of impressing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	38. Chapter 38

It was always nice to be amidst the clouds.

Severus leaned against a bleached, marble wall. Dismas stood beside him, conjuring a cumulus chair. Once finished, he pointed to it. Severus gave a small nod before sitting upon it.

“From the brightness of your glow, I can tell that things are going well with Hermione.” Dismas created a cloud chair for himself.

“Indeed they are,” Severus reported. “We are even on a first name basis.”

“You weren’t before?”

He shook his head.

“That’s odd.”

“Perhaps to an outsider but I was quite sure how to address a former student or how I wanted to be addressed. Given the nature of the mission, I thought professional distance was a requirement." He shook his head. "Clearly I was wrong on all accounts.”

“At least you’re on a first name basis now, which means you’re starting to figure out how heaven works.”

“What do you mean?”

“You need to understand how spirits treat each other in the afterlife."

He cocked his head.

"Heaven is about forming relationships, not business transactions, at least that is the ideal.”

“Is heaven ideal?”

“For the most part yes, though what counts as ideal is often challenged once one enters through the pearly gates.”

“Would you care to elaborate upon that?” 

“Everyone has an ideal society in mind when they come to heaven. Almost everyone is disappointed once they realize heaven is not that, although most argue it is better than they ever could’ve imagined.”

Severus stared at the top of the wall. “All I desire for is peace. As long as I have found that I will find heaven satisfactory.”

“You will find peace in your own time.”

“I hope so anyway.”

The marble glistened in the sunlight. It struck Severus as odd that he felt no need to shield his eyes from it. He was free to enjoy its beauty without the fear of pain. There were definite advantages to being a spirit...

“How is Hermione’s potion coming along?” Dismas asked.

Severus returned his attention to the saint. “It is going along splendidly. In fact, I believe we have created it.”

“You have?”

“Yes.” Severus’ glow was almost as bright as the wall. “We only have a few more steps, but if it passes my inspection she can call a research university and have it undergo medical testing.”

“What then?”

“Hopefully we find a way to give it to her father without raising suspicion. That may be difficult given the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy…”

Dismas burst out laughing.

Severus closed his mouth.

“I apologize, but in the last four hundred years or so I have heard that silly law come up so many times, as if the Trinity themselves must abide by it." He stopped chuckling. "The whole thing amuses me.”

“It is very important for wizards to keep themselves secret.”

“Why?” Dismas pointed at the top of the wall. “Nobody behind there cares about magic or muggle. All are equal.”

“I suppose so, but there is a major issue...”

"Like what?" Dismas asked. "If everyone is equal in the afterlife, why segregate yourself on earth?"

Severus glanced back at the wall. “From that perspective I suppose I don’t know what the issue is.”

“One ofthe things you will soon learn is that the Trinity is not bound by external constraints such as laws or human expectations. If they want something done, then it will be done, secrecy laws or not.”

“If they can just impose their will on the world, then why don’t they do things themselves?”

“Because they do not wish to spend all their time wiping everyone’s butts.”

“I suppose it would be odd for God to wipe my butt.” Severus deadpanned.

“It would be.” Dismas grinned.

“It would feel terrible to be nothing more than their glorified pet yet,” Severus’ glow dimmed. “Could they have not stepped in and stopped at least some of the atrocities I experienced?”

“That’s one of the problems with depending upon free will, your creations are going to behave in ways you do not approve of." Dismas' glow lessened. "It’s frustrating to watch people make the same mistakes over and over again, but if they give free will to one person, they must give free will to all people. It is up to each person to use it as best they determine.”

“I still wish they had thwarted Voldemort a few times.”

“They gave each person the tools they needed to defeat him, and made sure the right people met at the right times. It wasn’t a perfect process, and if certain people had behaved differently it would have gone smoother. Still, his defeat was accomplished.”

“True.”

“Discussions of free will aside.” Dismas leaned back in his chair. “I am surprised you were not spending your Sunday with Hermione.”

“She is visiting her parents.”

“I see.”

“I am happy for her although.” Severus was a slight blue. “I do miss her.”

“Terribly?”

“I wouldn’t say that much, but she is better company than Black.”

Dismas smirked. “You two still don’t get along, do you?”

“I fear being amicable is as friendly as we’ll ever be with each other.”

“That’s already quite a bit of progress from not wanting to help him at all, so that part of the plan is working well.”

“Indeed it is.” Severus’ glow was a dull yellow.

Dismas leaned over. “You appear to have something on your mind.”

“If I can be blunt, I’m a little bothered by the mission." Severus crossed his legs. "I’m still not sure what I’m looking for.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have never experienced anything resembling eudaimonia. If Hermione were to achieve it, I do not know if I would recognize it.”

“We would tell you if she had obtained it.”

“I know, but then I would be unable to tell her farewell.”

“You’ll get that chance.”

“I will?” His glow brightened.

Dismas nodded. “Hermione is being very cooperative in our program. The least we can do is give her closure once it ends.”

“Cooperative?”

“Yes, she is cooperating very well.”

“Are you implying that she knew about all this beforehand?”

“No, she was as clueless about all this as you were." The saint replied. "Still, we are pleased she accepted your help so readily. It would’ve been hard for us to find a new project for you and Sirius if she had not.”

“You had Hermione picked out from the beginning then?”

“More or less.”

“How long ago did you determine she needed us?” Severus’ voice was low.

“From the minute she kissed Ron,” Dismas answered.

Severus gave him a half smile. “I suppose she did need help after that.”

“She needed much more than she realized.”

“Indeed.”

Dismas ran his hands along the cloud.

“Have you ever experienced eudaimonia?”

He returned his attention to Severus.

“I know the story says you found forgiveness on the cross. Did you experience eudaimonia there too?”

“I did find redemption on the cross,” Dismas answered. “Though it’s difficult to say I felt eudaimonia with spikes in my feet and wrists.”

“That would be hard."

“That being said, there was one moment where I felt complete.”

Severus’ eyes sparked in interest.

“It was the night before my crucifixion.” His glow lessened. “I was in a cell with Gestas and Barabbas. We knew Pilate was going to execute us, there was no way he wouldn’t with all the crimes we’d committed. I was trembling so hard I couldn’t see straight. Every person I’d ever killed flashed before my mind. For the first time, I understood how they felt in their last moments, when they were pleading for their lives with my dagger pointed at their throats.”

Severus hummed.

“Gestas was ranting about how unjust the whole process was.” Dismas' glow flickered. “He never knew when to shut up.”

Severus hummed.

“Barabbas finally told him to be quiet and stood up. He motioned for both of us to sit in front of him, so we did. He told us,” Dismas’ voice cracked. “We were a family. We always had been, and we always would be. We were going to face death together, as brothers. I remember him looking Gestas and me in the eyes and saying, ‘it will be an honor to hang between you two.’”

“How did you know where you would hang?”

“Pilate knew who our leader was.”

“How?”

“That isn’t relevant. What is relevant is that I remember that I grew still, and Gestas grew quiet. After what seemed like an eternity, we stood and embraced.” Dismas was a dark blue. “I no longer felt alone.”

“Did you find eudaimonia in that moment?”

“I wouldn't say I was flourishing, but I did find peace," he whispered.

“I wish I had had a moment like that,” Severus whispered.

“Don’t give up on searching for it.” Dismas took his hand. “You have an eternity to find that peace. That’s more than enough time to obtain it.”

Severus felt a warmth and a sense of calm fill his entire essence. His lips curled up.

“When you experience eudaimonia, you will know it beyond a shadow of a doubt.” His glow had returned to its regular hue.

“What about when Hermione experiences it? Will I recognize it then?”

“You will.” He squeezed Severus’ hand.

Severus’ glow was as radiant as the sun. “Thank you for having faith in me. I think you’re the only person who ever has ever helped me without an ulterior motive.”

“That’s a shame.” He released Severus. “You deserved so much better in life.”

“I think I’m starting to believe it.”

“You should believe it.” Dismas stood. “Now, Sirius is still scouring the earth for that soulmate, correct?”

“Don’t remind me.” Severus bowed his head.

“Are you still having difficulty buying into his plan?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps I am jealous that he thought of it, or perhaps I am afraid of Hermione having her heart broken again.”

“You cannot control whether or not Hermione gets her heart broken. All you can do is be the friend she needs, wherever that is.”

“I can do that.”

“I know you can.”

A comfortable silence fell between them.

“Would you like to take a walk with me, or would you like a cloud fight?” Dismas asked.

“A cloud fight?”

Dismas made a ball from the top of a cloud. Then he threw it at Severus. It disintegrated upon hitting his face.

“Would I get more Purgatory time if I retaliated?” Severus asked.

“Of course not! Getting retaliation would imply you caught me anyway!”

Severus leapt up. “I will show you just how capable I am in a cloud fight.”

“Just try and catch me!”

Severus scowled as the saint darted away. He formed a ball from the cloud and chased him.

He’d show Dismas exactly why he was regarded as the best snowball fighter Hogwarts had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	39. Chapter 39

His daughter was different.

There was a lightness to her gait, as if the cares of the last seven years had never occurred. She had a spark in her eyes he had not seen since she had restored his memories. Even her posture was straighter, as if a weight had been lifted from her.

Wilford couldn’t help but grin has his daughter continued to discuss the cure. The signs of her condition were clear, though getting her to admit her emotions would be next to impossible.

“Oh Sweetie, I am so happy you’ve made so much progress on this potion,” Muriel sat back in her rocking chair.

“As am I,” Wilford pushed his walker away from his blue recliner and sat in a more comfortable position. “Than again, I’m biased.”

“As you should be,” Hermione sat on the couch.

“Even if I wasn’t in the condition I’m in, I’m proud of you. You’re doing some amazing work. The whole world will benefit from your research.”

“Thank you.” Hermione blushed.

“It’s nice to see you happy as well.”

“Happy?” Hermione cocked her head.

“Yes,” Muriel cut in. “You haven’t stopped smiling since the second you came in. It’s nice to see.”

“Why wouldn’t I smile? I’ve found a potential cure for Dad, at least I hope so.”

“Yes, but you weren’t as winded as you normally are when you apparated here. You seem more energetic.”

“A new discovery gives you energy, at least it does me.” Hermione shrugged.

“I think researching gives you energy,” Wilford replied.

Hermione swallowed.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud you’re running a bookstore. You are good at business and are doing a marvelous job of keeping it afloat. Still, it was sad to see you give up on your dreams of creating cures and new spells after, well, you know.”

“I didn’t completely give them up.”

“It wasn’t until I got sick that you decided to so much as crack open an academic book," he replied.

“I guess so.”

“You’re reclaiming an important part of your life. It was long overdue.”

“It feels nice to research again.”

“It should. We’ve been telling you for years that you had the resources to research and run your bookstore. It was sad that you took so little interest in the former though,” Muriel replied.

“I just needed a break from academia.” 

“No, you needed someone other than us to support your endeavors.”

Hermione closed her mouth.

“I don’t know where Severus Snape’s change of heart came from, but his visits have been the best thing to happen to you since enrolling in Hogwarts,” Wilford began.

“What can I say? I enjoy his visits.”

“Given your history it sounds odd to hear that though.”

“It honestly seems odd to say it, but it’s true. He isn’t the person he was when we were at Hogwarts.”

“How has he changed?” Muriel asked. “Other than the being dead of course.”

“His priorities have shifted. He wants to be the person he couldn’t be in life," Hermione answered.

“How?”

“He wants to be the teacher he couldn’t be at Hogwarts. Since he was spying he couldn’t educate any of us, at least not effectively. He sees me as his second chance to do what he couldn’t do at Hogwarts.”

“Creating a potion sounds more like research than education.”

“Yes, but he’s helping me brush up on my old classes.” Hermione picked up a purple pillow beside her and held it to her chest.

“True, but if he wants to be the researcher he couldn’t be at Hogwarts it seems sad he’s only creating your father’s cure.”

“Oh we aren’t just creating this potion. We’re brewing a few he’d wanted to do in life but couldn’t. Also he’s teaching me how to cook.”

“He’s teaching you how to cook?” Muriel’s eyes were wide.

“Yes.”

“How is it going?” Muriel drawled, fearing the worst.

“I’m enjoying it very much. The food we make is actually great.”

“I never thought I’d see the day you’d cook anything,” Wilford muttered.

“Until Severus came I was hopeless in the kitchen. I didn’t think I had time to cook either, so I didn’t bother trying," Hermione admitted. "I'm happy to report I was wrong on both account.

“He’s encouraging you to take care of yourself and put yourself first then?”

“I guess you could say that.”

“Exactly how long is he planning on staying on earth?” Muriel asked.

“I don’t know,” Hermione sat back in her chair. “Just until I obtain eudaimonia.”

“In other words, not much longer.” Wilford muttered.

"Perhaps." For the first time all day she frowned.

"That would be rather unfortunate, given your closeness to him," Muriel noted.

"It will be, but I suppose we'll be friends in a sense."

"Are you sure that's all you want from him?"

“What?” Hermione exclaimed.

“Sweetheart, I haven’t seen you this happy before.”

“I’m not that happy." The light in Hermione's eyes died. "There are still things going on in my life which stress me.”

“What things?”

“I mean.” Hermione bit her lower lip. “Cormac is still an arse, and I’m not quite over what Ron did to me.”

“The Cormac situation is an issue which hopefully Severus can help you resolve. That being said, you are more than over what Ron did to you,” Wilford noted.

“No, I’m not. I’m still not ready to move on.”

“No, you’ve moved on.”

Hermione's frown deepened. “How would you know if I’ve moved on?”

“Because from the minute you’ve walked in you haven’t been able to stop talking about Severus. Heck, you’re even calling him by his first name," her father answered.

“I mean, he’s my friend. Why wouldn’t I talk about him and call him by his first name?” Hermione picked at a loose thread on the purple pillow.

“True, but things seem to be much deeper than they are with your other friends,” Muriel noted.

Hermione twisted her lips.

“Let me asked you something.” Wilford shifted in his chair. “If Severus was still alive, would you have asked him to dinner by now?”

“We technically have dinner every night, only he watches me eat," Hermione answered.

“Do you look forward to his visits?”

“They’re the highlight of my day.” Her smile returned.

“Do you only discuss your research?”

“No, we talk about other things.”

“What other things?”

“It varies.” She set the pillow aside.

“In other words, everything and nothing?”

“More or less.”

“Do you feel as if he understands you, and that you understand him?”

“Yes.”

“Does he make you laugh?”

“Is there a point to this interrogation?” Hermione squirmed.

“I think what your father is trying to say is that you seem to want a deeper relationship with him," Muriel's voice was gentle.

“No!” Hermione recoiled. “I don’t like him like that! He’s just my best friend, that’s all.”

“Harry is your best friend, but your face does not light up like this when you’re discussing him,” Wilford replied.

Hermione paled.

“You love him, and from the way you talk, he may love you too," Muriel replied.

“No!” Hermione answered. “I don’t think he loves me. Sure we’re friends, and we can talk about anything, but he’s trying to get to heaven. Once they tell him I’m happy then he’ll be there. He won't give me a second thought, at least not until I die.”

“That creates quite a dilemma,” Wilford admitted. “He makes you happy, and if he leaves you will be miserable. The only way for you to obtain eudaimonia is if he stays, but you obtain eudaimonia then he goes to heaven.”

“No, that is not it at all.”

“Then what is it like?”

“It’s like…it’s like…” Hermione groaned.

“Sweetie, it’s okay to admit how you feel,” Muriel replied.

“There’s nothing to admit,” Hermione put her head into her hands. “I do not love Severus Snape, and he will never love me.”

“Why wouldn’t he love you?” Wilford asked. “You are extremely lovable.”

“Maybe to you, but not to many other people,” Hermione glanced up.

“Forget other people. What about Severus? Do you think you show him the best parts of himself?”

“I try. Even when I don’t, he accepts it and moves on.”

“I know this is all tough for you. Love is scary, even under the best circumstances,” Muriel began.

“Your situation is complicated,” Wilford added. “Still, there must be someway of navigating it.”

Hermione groaned. “Can we please talk about something other than Severus?”

“Certainly,” Muriel replied.

“Anyway,” Hermione’s lips curled up. “My cooking is going great. Severus showed me a great way to make rice.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, it was real rice too, not the kind you put in the microwave. Who knew that all you needed to do was be patient and keep the lid on the pot?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t teach you that over the summers you were home,” Muriel replied.

“No it’s fine. Severus is a great teacher though. He is very patient, and finds a way to make cooking fun.”

Muriel and Wilford glanced at each other.

Their daughter was deeply in love with this spirit. She may feel like she’s in heaven with him, but would he, or could he, give up heaven to be with her?

***

Hermione’s mystery suitor couldn’t stay hidden forever.

Cormac scowled as he sat on a green leather chair. He turned his attention to the parchment atop his cherry wood desk. After rereading the names upon it, he scratched one out and scowled.

Despite his efforts to eavesdrop on Harry and others who knew her, he was no closer to discovering who Hermione’s secret suitor was. It was only a matter of time until he was exposed though. When Cormac found him, he would wish he had never heard the name Hermione.

What he planned to do to this man would depend upon what dirt he could dig up. The easiest route would be to find a crime and prosecute him for it. With his position in the Ministry, Cormac was more than capable of pulling off such a feat. If this suitor’s history was clean, he could always frame him for a crime. Still, it had to be clear that Cormac wasn’t behind any of it. The last thing he needed was a scandal.

Better yet, Cormac could find a secret on him and have Rita write a story on him.

Cormac sneered. Jail may be to overt, but running a story would be doable. He’d make the other man so socially toxic nobody in their right mind would date him. Yes, that would be perfect!

Now who was he?

Before Cormac could review the list, an owl pecked at the window. Grumbling, he stomped across the room and flung the window open. With little grace he tore the paper from its leg.

After noting the headline Cormac snickered.

Screw the other man! All Hermione needed was for someone to play hero, a role Cormac could perfectly play.

Tomorrow morning, she wouldn’t know what hit her!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	40. Chapter 40

Sirius’ glow was dim as he entered _Paradisio Books._ All weekend he had searched for Hermione’s potential soulmate, but each prospect was less promising than the last. Severus had seemed rather pleased with the development, a little too pleased for Sirius’ liking. Perhaps it was time to ask the Trinity to force Severus to search for her soulmate. At least that would wipe the smirk from his face every time Sirius failed.

The bell on the door chimed behind him. Beatrice wandered inside.

“Hello,” Hermione called from within the fantasy aisle.

“Hi.”

Hermione knelt on the ground beside a pile of books. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” Beatrice drawled.

“That’s good.” Hermione smiled.

Beatrice raised an eyebrow.

“Are you doing well?”

“I’m fine,” Beatrice made her way to the register. “You just seem really happy.”

“I am in a rather good mood actually.”

“Oh, that's, uh interesting."

“What? Is there a reason I should be unhappy?” Hermione began placing the books on the floor onto the lower shelves.

“No, but you usually aren’t, a, uh, morning person.”

“I suppose I’m not,” Hermione admitted. “But for whatever reason today is different.”

Sirius stifled a chuckle. Hermione was probably just happy to have a day away from Severus and his awful people skills. The Trinity knew how great a mood he’d be in once he and Severus parted ways forever.

“Did you have a nice weekend?” Hermione asked.

“I did.” Beatrice’s eyes lit up. “My boyfriend and I went to this art exhibit called _The Crystalline Heaven.”_

“I heard about that.” Hermione continued putting books on the shelves. “How was it?”

“I was impressed. The glasswork was amazing. There was a particularly stunning piece of the solar system. You should see it.”

“I plan to. Do they allow photography?”

“Yes.”

The door bell rang.

“Good. My parents would love to see some of the pieces, as would a couple of my friends,” Hermione continued.

“Shouldn’t Harry and Draco be able to go on their own?”

“They should, but Harry doesn’t tend to like those types of exhibits, and I don’t know if Draco trusts two young children around that much glass.”

“That’s a great point.”

“Draco wouldn’t be the only one I showed the photographs to." She put the last book on the shelf. "I have another friend though who would love to see the exhibit, but for his own reasons cannot go. I’m sure he’d love a few pictures.”

“Perhaps I can take some with you.”

Sirius’ glow went red. Not this asshole again.

“Together we can take those pictures and show your unnamed friend.” Cormac loomed over Hermione. “Assuming he wants to meet me.”

“Let’s just say my friend would probably vomit all over your shoes if he met you,” Hermione muttered.

“What?” Cormac cupped a hand over his ear.

“Nothing.” Hermione stood. “I was only saying that have a lot to do today. There is really no time to chat.”

“There’s no need to hide from me.” Cormac blocked her path to the register. “I know what’s upsetting you.”

“You do?” She pursed her lips.

“Yes, and I’m deeply sorry.”

“If you know what’s upsetting me then you’ll be more than happy to leave me in peace.”

“Now there’s no need to be bitter.” Cormac pulled a bouquet of roses from his pocket and enlarged them. “I’m only here to help you through what must be a traumatizing time.”

“Traumatizing?” Hermione put her hands on her hips.

“Yes.” Cormac took her hand and put the flowers into it. She winced as a thorn poked her. “I don’t know how I would react if the supposed love of my life got engaged to the person they cheated on me with.”

Hermione blinked.

“You don’t need to pretend to be strong with me. I know you must be taking Ron’s engagement hard…”

“Ron got engaged?” Hermione’s voice was weak.

“Yes,” Cormac replied.

“I had no idea.” Hermione lowered her head.

“You didn’t know?” Cormac's eyes were wide. 

“No, I didn’t.”

“I’m glad I was here then to help you navigate this.”

She groaned. “How long has the news been out?”

“Since yesterday. The second I heard the news I knew I needed to see you. You weren’t home then so I decided to come here bright and early.”

“I was visiting my parents yesterday, so I never read yesterday's paper.”

“I suppose I would be with my parents in a situation such as this, or with my Uncle Tiberius.” Cormac leaned in closer to her. “Thank goodness there’s a friend here to help you sort through it all.”

“Yes, I’m glad I’m here for her,” Beatrice called.

Cormac glared at her.

“This is all so new to me. I think I need to be alone to process it.” Hermione attempted to step around him, only to be blocked again.

“I can’t leave you alone in good conscience,” Cormac began.

“She’s not alone,” Beatrice called. “I’m with her.”

Cormac turned around. “With all due respect, you haven’t known her as long as I have.”

Hermione took the opportunity to maneuver around him. “Thank you for attempting to comfort me. I appreciate it.”

“Think nothing of it. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I’m sure you will be.” Hermione glanced at the roses. “The flowers are just so lovely that I can’t accept them.”

“What?”

Hermione threw the bouquet back at him. “I am so distraught I cannot accept any kind of gift from anyone.”

“Not even my undying devotion?”

“Especially your undying devotion. I don’t deserve someone like you!”

With that, Hermione darted into her office. Cormac began to follow her, but Beatrice stood in his path.

“Get out of my way,” Cormac hissed. “Can’t you see that she needs me?”

“She needs you to leave her alone,” Beatrice argued.

“She’s too distraught to know what she needs right now.”

Sirius’ glow turned a brighter red. Why can’t I smite him?

“She needs me now more than ever, and you’re preventing me from seeing her," Cormac spat.

Beatrice glanced back. The door to Hermione’s office glowed green, then blue.

She smirked “Well who am I to stand in the way of you and your stalking victim?”

“She’s my future wife, not my stalking victim,” Cormac retorted.

“Sure.” Beatrice returned to her station. “Whatever you say.”

Cormac strolled over to the door. He knocked upon it, only for a blue bolt to spark through his whole body. He grimaced and held his burned hand.

“I have no comment!” Hermione called.

“It’s me, Cormac.”

“Sorry, but the press will be here soon and I cannot allow anyone in.”

“Not even a dear friend?”

“I would, but I don’t know if you’re a reporter in disguise. You never know who’s who with Polyjuice floating around.”

“I assure you I’m Cormac. I can prove it too.”

“No, it would take far too long for you to prove it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to ask you a series of questions, and then I’ll need Beatrice to perform a DNA spell, then I need a written statement and a handwriting sample. It’s a very long and involved process.”

“It sounds like a stupid process,” Cormac muttered.

“At some point you need to get to work. I wouldn’t want to keep you from your very important Ministry job.”

“Work can wait.”

“Since when could prosecuting Harry Turpin wait?” Beatrice called.

He glared at the clerk.

“I mean he’s a serial rapist. I wouldn’t blow off that case,” Beatrice continued.

“She’s right! Better get to work before Turpin is released and hurts someone.”

“He won’t hurt anyone.” Cormac seethed. “I promise you that.”

“If you want to keep that promise you need to prosecute him.”

“She’s right,” Beatrice echoed.

Cormac made a fist and ground his teeth together.

“Feel free to pick up your flowers on the way out. I wouldn’t want anyone with allergies to get a whiff of them.”

“No, they’re yours.”

“No, really, I can’t accept them. I can’t accept anything from you.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Harry Turpin’s release is imminent,” Beatrice interrupted. “Better get on it before he’s released on a technicality.”

Cormac stormed towards the front of the store. He picked up the flowers and stomped away.

For what seemed like hours, all was quiet.

“He’s gone,” Beatrice called.

“He is?”

“Yes.”

The door to Hermione’s office clicked. She stuck out her head. “Thank you for getting rid of him.”

“Anytime.” Beatrice turned to her and grinned.

“Was he telling the truth about Ron?”

“He was.”

Hermione glanced at the golden doorknob.

“That’s why I was so surprised you were happy. I thought you’d be more upset about that.”

“It is what it is.” Hermione sighed. “If you can keep the reporters away though I would be appreciative.”

“Will do.”

“Thanks.” Hermione swallowed. “I need to get some work done. You know what to do if you need me.”

“I do.”

Hermione shut the door. Sirius glided inside.

She slouched into her chair and stared at the ceiling, only finding solace in the memory of Severus Snape brewing their potion alongside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	41. Chapter 41

Contrary to Hermione’s fears, she did not set the steak strips on fire. They were sizzling just as Severus said they would. It was clear that she was a much better chef than anyone had ever given her credit for.

“You said you liked medium rare steak, correct?” Severus asked.

“I do,” Hermione answered.

“Then it is almost time to turn off the heat.”

She glanced down at the strips. “But it’s still pink in the middle.”

“I know, hence the reason it is medium rare.”

“I thought pink in the center of food was bad though.”

“That rule applies to chicken, but steak is different. You want it pink in the middle, or it’s too well done.”

“Oh.” She returned her attention to her food. “So it’s done now?”

Severus leaned over her. “It would appear so.”

She turned off the oven and put the pan onto another burner. Then she pulled out a cobalt plate. “I never thought I'd fix my own steak.”

“As I said, it is easy to fix,” Severus replied. “Granted, we did not rub or marinate it. We can experiment with those another day."

“Honestly, I like a plain steak.” She pulled a bottle of BBQ sauce. “My dad didn’t put much rub on his steaks, and I liked them fine. Some restaurants do too much with their steaks for my liking.”

“Before I am finished, you will know how to make steak to your liking. I even have a few recipes for a marinade I believe you will love.”

“Will I learn how to grill steaks?”

“Sure, although I am not familiar with how to use a grill,” he admitted.

“So you don’t know everything.” She smirked.

“Contrary to popular opinion, I do not know everything.”

Hermione chuckled.

“Still, I am capable of reading directions. Somehow, we will figure out a way to piece the grill together.”

“I can put it together and you can show me how to grill food on it.” She slid the steak onto the plate.

“You could always ask me to touch it and the tools you will require. I am somewhat proficient at using tools.”

“Yes, but I am an expert at putting things together.” She sat at the table.

“With magic yes, though I don’t know if magic will affect the quality of the food you grill the first few times.”

“That won’t be a problem since I’m an expert in muggle tools as well.”

“An expert?” He sat across from her.

She nodded. “When I would come home for the summer, I had little interest in cooking, but I did enjoy helping Dad fix things the muggle way.”

“I’m sure he appreciated your help, especially since magic must have made the process go quicker.”

“I didn’t use magic when I helped him.”

“You, not use magic?” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you were well?”

“I was quite well.” Hermione laughed as she cut a strip of steak in half. “I just found it relaxing to use my hands to create something. Magic may make things go more quickly, but I feel a greater sense of accomplishment when I put something together with tools.”

“I am glad you got some pleasure from it.” He frowned.

“I suspect you didn’t get much pleasure from tools though.”

“I will admit, tools do little more than irritate me.”

“Why?”

“In life, there wan’t enough time in my day to put together a bookshelf or fix a sink the muggle way. The fact that my dad insisted on using muggle tools to fix everything and discouraged magic did little to endear them to me.”

“I hadn’t thought of your dad hating magic.” She stabbed the steak with her fork. “It must have been rough growing up with him.”

“Rough is a mild way of putting it.”

“I’d imagine.”

“There is no reason to discuss him.”

“I know, but I wish I could help you make some peace with what happened.” He voice was soft.

“There is little you can do about my childhood.”

“I know, but what happened to you was awful.” She dipped her steak into the sauce.

“It’s over, thank the Trinity.”

“I suppose.”

There was silence for a moment.

“Do you know what became of him?” She asked.

“I know he died, but what became of him I have no clue. I haven’t cared enough to ask where either he or my mother went.”

From the expression on Severus’ face, it was clear that the conversation was over.

Hermione took a bite of her food. Her eyes grew.

“How is it?”

“Amazing!” Her eyes glistened. “I made my own steak, and it tastes amazing!”

“Don’t look so surprised. You are learning from an expert chef, and you are an outstanding student.”

She swallowed. “So I’m outstanding?”

“It would appear so.”

Her smile widened.

“Do not get overconfident though. You will need to be much more focused when baking than you were tonight.”

“I was focused.” She took another bite of steak.

“Your mind wandered more than a few times during our lesson.”

“I still made the steak though.”

“With my help, yes.”

“I focused just enough then.”

“True, but your thoughts do not usually wander as much as they did tonight.”

She sighed. “Am I that obvious?”

“To others perhaps not, but I can usually tell when something is on your mind,” he replied

The spark faded from her eyes. “Ron got engaged to Lavender last weekend.”

“I see.” His glow dimmed.

“I shouldn’t care about them,” she shook her head. “I should be happy to have him out of my life.”

“But part of you still wants him.”

“No, it isn’t that. It’s something sillier.”

“I doubt anything you say will be silly.” Severus slid closer to her.

“Don’t say that until you know what it is.”

“You are a sensible woman. I doubt I would find anything you have to say silly.”

“Fine.” She took a deep breath. “I wanted him and Lavender to break up because of how they screwed me over. I wanted them to make each other miserable so they knew how I felt. I wanted,” a tear glistened in the candle light. “I wanted him to admit he’d made a mistake when he left me.”

“I see.”

“I don’t even know why I feel this way.” She wiped the tear from her eye. “We were horrible together. The fights were getting worse, and he annoyed the piss out of me most days. I’m much better off without him.”

“Yet your heart doesn’t believe that.”

“That’s just it, my heart does know that. Perhaps that’s what’s scariest of all.” She set down her silverware. “When I was angry at Ron and Lavender, I didn’t need to move on. I could live in the pain they caused and let it define me. Sure I was depressed, but I was also safe. Nobody could get to me because I was damaged goods. It made life simple because I didn’t need to worry about getting hurt again.”

“Now that pain is gone, and all you’re left is yourself and potentially several wasted years.”

“Yes.” She whispered. “I wasted so much time being angry, and for what? Lavender and Ron are happy, and I’m still alone. All I did was waste time.”

“You haven’t wasted too much time, if any,” his glow turned dark blue. “At least not in the grand scheme of things.”

“It feels like I’ve wasted half my life.”

“Take it from someone who did waste half his life pining over someone who cared nothing for him; you haven’t wasted as much time as you think you have.”

“You didn’t waste time,” she argued. “You became a great spy and saved the Wizarding World.”

“I did it in the name of someone who was condemned to a decade in Purgatory because she couldn’t forgive me.”

“She should’ve forgiven you. All you did was say a nasty word under stress. That didn’t deserve to end your friendship.”

“It was over before that, but I didn’t know it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sirius admitted that she’d been flirting with James long before that day. She had always intended to leave me. All she wanted was an excuse, and I gave her one. She was too cowardly to admit she didn’t want me, so she let me believe everything was my fault.”

“I’m sorry.”

They sat in silence.

“Whatever happens Hermione, know that you are worth so much more than Ronald could ever give you. You are an amazing woman who deserves so much more than she’s been given.” His glow brightened.

“I know.” Hermione put her hand next to his. “You deserved so much better than you received in both this life and the afterlife.”

“I deserved everything that I received.”

“No, you didn’t. You deserved to be loved, to be valued for who you were. It’s unfortunate that nobody ever gave you the chance to be loved.”

His glow became yellow.

“I’m happy we’re friends. You’ve done so much more for me that you realize, and I don’t mean cooking and the potion.”

“What exactly have I done other than those things?”

“You’ve made me happy.”

“I have?” He looked up at her.

“You have.” She gave him a small smile. “One of the reasons I’m not crying into my carton of strawberry ice cream right now is because I have you with me. You make me happier than anyone else ever did.”

“Funny.” Severus’ glow intensified. “You’ve made me happier than anyone else ever did too.”

“You don’t need to lie to me. Despite how things ended with Lily, I know she brought you joy.”

“I’m not lying at all.” Severus replied. “Lily gave me hope in a hopeless situation, but it was a childhood fantasy. What I have with you is a real adult relationship between two equals, or at least as equal as any spirit can be with a mortal.”

“It’s an odd dynamic.”

“It is admittedly. Still, I cherish it.”

“I do too.”

Severus smiled.

Hermione giggled.

“What?”

“You’re pink.”

“What?”

“Yes, look at yourself. You’re pink.”

He turned white.

“Oh, never mind. You’re white again.”

“I think you need to get your eyes checked." He pretended to huff. "I have not and will not ever be pink.”

“No, I’m almost positive your glow became pink," she argued.

“No, I’m very certain there isn’t enough lighting in here, or you inhaled some fumes a few days ago.”

“Perhaps.” She took another bite.

Severus’ glow remained white as one thought echoed through his mind.

Why would a spirit ever become pink?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for any typos. I sliced my thumb on a knife today, so typing has been a bit difficult. 
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	42. Chapter 42

Hermione and Severus watched as the owl flew into the night sky, a folded parchment tied to its right leg. Once it disappeared into the falling snow, she stepped away from the window.

“How soon do you think they’ll get back to me?” She asked.

“I couldn’t say,” he answered. “Your research is of the utmost importance, and in an area which has been getting quite a bit of attention as of late. Still, you are a relative unknown in academic circles, which could make some less than willing to give your experiment priority.”

“I never thought anyone wouldn’t know me.” Hermione laughed as she crashed onto the couch.

“They know your non-academic achievements, but academically they have not seen the brilliant witch I have come to know.”

She blushed. “Thank you.”

“You shouldn’t be so grateful for honesty.” He sat on the couch’s armrest.

“Perhaps, but you’re saying things I’ve always wanted to hear from you. Once you’d died I’d given up on ever hearing them.”

“It’s a good thing I was given a second chance to tell you the truth then.”

The fireplace erupted.

“Indeed.”

“Hermione?”

She sat up. He turned bleached white.

“Granger, Are you there?”

She looked at him.

“Go, answer it.” He gestured towards the fireplace.

“I’m coming!” She rushed over to the fireplace and poked her head inside.

“There you are!" A voice all too familiar to Severus called.

“Sorry, I was just in the middle of something when you called.”

“I didn’t catch you at a bad time, did I?” The voice was less playful than it had been.

“No, I was just finishing a letter.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything. I only wanted to see how you were doing given everything that happened last weekend.”

“I’m doing just fine, although,” she gave her guest a mischievous grin. “I would feel better if there were two little ones in front of me though.”

The man on the other end laughed. “I’m sure they’d love to see you too.”

“Where are they?”

Severus’ glow became yellow and intensified. He never thought he’d hear the man on the other end genuine laugh again.

“Right now they’re in bed. They exhausted themselves after our trip to London, although they have some postcards they’d like to give you from the Muggle Museum of Technology.”

“I’d love to see them.”

“Oh no.” He laughed again. “They want to give you them in person, and Scorpius insists upon writing his name on the postcard itself.”

“Scorpius can write?”

“No, he scribbles. Still, if he makes a few markings on the paper he calls it a signature. He sees he writes like a ‘cewebridy.’”

She giggled. “That boy is a mess.”

“Indeed he is.” Draco exhaled.

Hermione glanced back and met Severus’ eyes. She pointed to the fireplace. He nodded.

“Draco, would you like to come in for a spot of tea?”

“If you put firewhiskey in it I’m more than happy to come.”

“Deal.” She backed away from the fireplace.

Draco stumbled into her home and brushed the soot from his robes.

Severus’ glow brightened. The person before him was no longer a frightened little boy with the world on his shoulders, but a relaxed man who was confident in facing the world. His smile and eyes were bright, as if a war had never happened. He was not a selfish boy, but a caring man who loved his family.

Had Severus been able to shed a tear, he would have done so.

Draco stopped brushing himself off and glanced around.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“I’m fine. Why do you ask?” Draco paled.

“You looked like you were searching for something.”

“I wasn’t searching for anything. It’s just.” He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“If you aren’t feeling well, just say so. You don’t need to stay.”

“No, I’m fine, There’s just this feeling I have,” Draco sighed.

“What would that be?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Draco’s grin returned.

“What brings you here anyway?” She asked.

“I wanted to see how you were doing given everything that’s happened with Ron and the media.”

“I’m doing better than expected.” She strolled towards the kitchen.

“Did you get wasted like you said you would when you heard that Ron got engaged?”

“Actually I didn’t.”

“Good! I was worried there for a minute.”

“No, I’ve decided that booze would do nothing in a time like this.”

“You’re right, it wouldn’t solve anything. It would just…”

Draco stopped at the edge of his sofa. He turned and met Severus’ eyes. 

Severus’ glow pulsated. He had always hoped that Draco would survive and thrive after the war. It was clear he had done both. Seeing the person he was now brought on so many emotions, many of which Severus could not express even to himself.

“I was actually too busy with my research and cooking lessons to think about getting drunk," she continued.

“In other words, Dante distracted you from feeling anything unpleasant.” Draco strolled into the kitchen.

“I will admit that Dante was a pleasant distraction.” She began to make the tea.

“Did he come tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Where is he? I’d love to introduce myself.”

“He left awhile back.”

“He did?”

Severus glided into the kitchen and stood where he could get a good view of his godson.

“Pity, I would have loved to meet him," the blond man continued.

“I don’t know if that will be possible given how shy he is.”

“He can’t be too shy to meet me.”

“Trust me, he really can’t be seen by anyone.” Hermione reached up into a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey.

“Why not? Is he a spy or something?”

Severus’ glow turned a warm yellow.

“Something like that.”

“Is he some kind of secret agent?”

“He’s, well he’s someone who likes to keep to himself anyway.”

“So he’s not a publicity whore?”

“No.”

“I think I like him already." Draco mused. "He’s just the kind of person I’d love you to introduce me to.”

Severus' glow turned blue. Dante is desperate to meet you, if only he was allowed to do so.

“Perhaps someday you’ll meet him," she replied.

“If he makes you happy, I’d love to meet him soon rather than later.”

“We’ll see.”

“Speaking of happy though, you don’t need to pretend with me.” Draco’s voice lowered. “How do you really feel?”

“Not the way I thought I’d feel if I’m honest,” she replied.

“Do you feel worse or better than you thought you’d be.”

“I’m at peace with what’s occurred.”

“Good.” Draco exhaled. “I felt so awful when I read the news in London. I knew you needed a friend but I didn’t want to interrupt our family vacation. Ginevra and I had been planning it for months, and I knew Potter would step in to help you.”

Severus’ glow grew softer as his lips curled up. It was difficult to envision Draco being this considerate when he’d been a teenager. It was nice to know he was a good friend in addition to a good husband and father.

“Harry did see me in my office on Monday afternoon and gave me some takeout. He would’ve come sooner, but I was with my parents all day Sunday.”

“So you had support.”

“More or less.”

“I’m still sorry I couldn’t be here sooner.”

“No, you were with your family, exactly where you needed to be.”

The teapot hissed.

“I can get the cups.” Draco began.

“Thank you.” She removed the teapot from the burner.

“How is your father doing?” 

“He’s a live wire as always." Hermione chuckled. "You wouldn’t know he’s had two heart attacks except for the fact he goes to bed a half hour earlier”

“I hope he recovers as much as he can soon.”

“There’s hope for him anyway.”

“Oh?” He poured a bit of firewhiskey into his cup.

“Yes,” Hermione poured tea into her cup. “I’m working on a potion to cure the weakness in his heart.”

“You took up brewing again?”

“I did.” She poured tea into his cup.

“How is it going?”

“I think I have a promising prototype. I just sent it into a research center to see if they’ll approve it for testing.”

“I see.” Draco whispered before lowering his head and staring at a spot on the ground.

“Are you feeling well?”

“I am.” He relaxed. “I feel more well than I have in years, which is the oddest feeling.”

“What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath. “Do you promise not to laugh or be frightened by what I tell you?”

“I promise.”

His voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. “I feel Uncle Severus in this room.”

Severus’ glow was a warm yellow.

“I’ve never felt that before." Draco took a shaky breath. "For years, I tried to feel him, hoping for some sign that he was at peace. I couldn’t find one. After a few years I gave up feeling anything and tried to allow the dead to remain dead. Now though, the room is so warm, and I know he’s with me.”

Severus drew closer to Draco.

“I don’t know why I feel him now, but I’ve felt his presence from the moment I entered. It’s like he’s finally at peace, like he’s finally happy and able to watch over me.”

“Trust me,” Hermione looked at Severus. His lips curled up. “He’s happy.”

“I hope so.” Draco took a sip of his tea. “I only wish I could say something to him and know he could hear me.”

“If you could say one thing to him,” she asked. “What would you say?”

“I was just musing aloud, not trying to get into a deep conversation.”

“It’s an interesting topic. I’d love to hear more on what you would say to him.”

“Oh no.” The blond raised his hand. “This visit was about you, not me.”

“I know, and I’m asking you a question. What would you say to him if you knew he was in the room right now?”

“I didn’t mean to hijack this conversation, especially with all you’re going through.”

“I’m fine, but I would like to know what you’d say.”

“Okay.” Draco set the cup on the counter. “I’d ask him if he’s proud of me.”

“Why would you think he isn’t proud of you?”

“Because he gave his life for me. I’m the reason he died. Everything that happened is my fault.” Draco choked.

“How could you ever think that?”

“He died because Voldemort thought he had the Elder Wand." Draco sniffed. "Uncle Severus must have known I had control of it though. Still, he never even presented it as a possibility. Hell, Voldemort wouldn’t have even suspected him of having the wand if he hadn’t killed Dumbledore because he didn’t want me to do it. He died protecting me. If it wasn’t for me, he’d be alive. It’s my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Severus cut in. “None of it was your fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Hermione rubbed his arm. “If Severus was here he’d tell you that.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “When did you start calling him Severus?”

“Uh, Professor Snape." She blushed. "If Professor Snape was here he’d tell you this wasn’t your fault.”

“I’m not sure of that.”

“I know that for a fact. In my heart of hearts, I know he doesn’t blame you for what happened.”

“I wish I shared your confidence.” He bowed his head.

“Why don’t you?”

“I thought for years he was upset with me,” Draco’s voice cracked. “I couldn’t feel him with me, so I thought he was mad at me for what happened.”

“I was never upset with you,” Severus replied. “I would have given you a sign if I could’ve. I love you.”

“I don’t know why Professor Snape didn’t give you your sign before tonight,” she set her cup beside Draco’s. “Still, he loves you. He loved you in life, and that love never died.”

“Did I make him proud though? Does he think I made the most of my life?”

“You make me proud.” Severus’ glow was like that of the morning star. “Every day I am proud to call you my godson.”

“You have made him so proud.” Hermione embraced him. “He is proud to be your godfather.”

“I hope so.” Draco shed a tear.

Severus put his hand against his godson’s back.

“I feel him.” Draco shook. “I feel him, and I miss him. I miss him so much.”

“I know you do.” Hermione squeezed him tighter.

“I didn’t mean to make this about him. I did want to hear about you.”

She hushed him. “You’re allowed to miss him and talk about your emotions.”

Draco broke down and cried, unaware that Severus was standing over him, wishing he could do more other than offer his presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all support! I deeply appreciate it!


	43. Chapter 43

“Thanks again for the coffee,” Draco took a handful of floo powder.

“Think nothing of it.” Hermione glanced back at Severus. His glow was a soft yellow, and his smile was wide.

“I’m sorry again for making this visit all about me. I came to speak with you, not start talking about my grief.”

“There was nothing for me to say about Ron, whereas you had been holding in your grief for a long time.”

“It comes and goes.” Draco took a deep breath and turned around. “Some days I’m too distracted to give it much thought. Yet sometimes I’ll read about a new potion in _The Daily Prophet_ or see something which I think would make Uncle Severus laugh. It all comes back to me.”

“I can only imagine,” she whispered. “I miss him some days, but he wasn’t my godfather. It must difficult for you.”

“Like I said, some days are better than others. I’ll be fine, but then Scorpius will do something. When I yell, ‘Scorpius Severus Malfoy…’” His expression was distant as the powder slid from his hand.

Severus’ glow brightened. 

She rubbed his arm. “I know it’s hard.”

“I don’t talk about it much. Ginevra and Dad have helped me through it, but they don’t fully understand how I fell. I don't think anybody does, not really.”

“I know.”

Severus bowed his head, still wishing he could give his godson a sign of his presence.

Hermione’s eyes lit up. “Before you go I need something.”

Draco cocked his head.

“I need to see pictures of my two favorite children.”

“I knew I was forgetting something.” Draco’s face lit up. “I meant to bring some vacation photos, but it slipped my mind.”

“You have pictures of them in your wallet, don’t you?”

“I do,” Draco drawled.

“That’s good enough for me.”

“Are you sure? You’ve seen them before." 

“I know but just humor me.”

“I guess if you can tolerate me going on about Uncle Severus I can do this for you.” He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.

Severus crept towards Hermione, going through Crookshanks in the process. The half-kneazle growled and batted at the air. He glared at it. After growling, Crookshanks raised his tail and left the room.

“I need to update my photos of them.” He opened the wallet. “They’re growing up too fast to keep track of.”

“Don’t I know it! It seems like yesterday Scorpius was born.”

“It really does.”

Severus’ glow intensified. On the right was a blond haired boy with Draco’s mischievous grin, sitting upon a Persian rug in front of a roaring fire. On the left was a little girl with Ginevra’s eyes holding a pink blanket. Still, she had Draco’s blond hair, and his playful expression.

Between the two photos was one of Draco holding Ginevra. They gazed at each other as if the world only consisted of them. Severus had always wanted Draco to live long enough to look at a woman that way.

Perhaps Severus’ sacrifice had been worth something after all.

“They are so beautiful,” Hermione gushed.

“They’re beautiful when they’re asleep anyway.”

Hermione laughed as Draco put his wallet away.

“Thank you again.” Draco embraced her.

She returned the embrace. “The pleasure was all mine.”

“It was a mutual pleasure.” He released her but continued to look at Severus.

“Do you feel Severus again?” She asked with a soft smile.

“Yes,” Draco blinked back tears.

“If you want to say anything to him, feel free to.”

“But he isn’t here.”

“You never know.” She shrugged. "He could hear us somehow."

“True,” Draco’s voice cracked. He inhaled. “I guess I would tell him thank you. Thank you for everything.”

“There is no need to thank me. I would do it all again,” Severus replied.

"I'm sorry I was such an arse at times. I didn't always appreciate you. I hope you know I love you."

“I love you too.”

“He loves you too, Draco, don’t ever forget that,” she replied.

“I won’t.” Draco sighed. “I need to get going. Take care and if you need anything let me know.”

“I will.”

With that, Draco took the floo powder and tossed it into the fireplace. “Malfoy Mansion.”

Once the flames ignited, Draco stepped into them.

When the fire died, she turned to Severus. “How do you feel?”

“Honestly?”

“No, I want you to tack on some Purgatory time by lying to me.”

Severus chucked.

“Seriously, what’s on your mind?” The humor evaporated from her eyes.

“I wish I could cry,” he turned blue.

She frowned.

“Everything is so overwhelming. I never thought I’d see Draco live to be an adult, much less be in love and have a family. I feel so much, yet I cannot express it adequately in this form.”

“That must be frustrating.”

“It is more frustrating than I could have imagined. All my life I avoided crying, yet now that I am going to a place with no tears, I wish I could cry."

She bit her lower lip.

"Enough about crying." His glow returned to its normal hue. "I am so pleased that Draco has a family.”

“It’s a little hard for me to believe he has such a wonderful family sometimes,” she admitted. “When Ginny announced she was pregnant with Draco’s son, all I could think of was him casting a densaugeo and my teeth growing so abnormally large. It was so hard to believe that boy I couldn’t stand was about to be a proud father, and I couldn’t have been happier for him.”

“Yes, the densaugeo.” He bowed his head. “That was not one of my finer moments.”

“What do you mean? You weren’t involved in the duel.”

“Yes, but I told you that I didn’t see any difference in your teeth. That was uncalled for.”

“I’d almost forgotten you’d said that," she drawled.

“It was unnecessarily harsh,” he turned blue again. “And I do apologize for it.”

“You’re forgiven.”

His glow remained the same.

“I don’t hold it against you. Even before you died I’d forgiven you," she continued.

“Truly?”

“Yes, truly.”

He met her eyes. “You amaze me.”

“Why?”

“Nobody has ever found it in their heart to forgive me. I never believed I was worthy of it.”

“You are worthy of it.”

His glow remained light blue.

“You are worthy of forgiveness, friendship, love, all of it. You never should’ve been told any differently.”

“I think I’m beginning to believe that.”

“You need to believe it with all your heart.”

“You deserve a friend like Draco, and every good thing that’s happened to you. I hope you believe that.”

“I think I’m starting to believe that.”

Severus’ glow returned to its usual hue. His eyes fell on her lips. If he was alive he could envision himself leaning towards her, taking her in his arms, brushing her lips with his.

Her eyes sparkled. “You’re pink again.”

He looked down at his hand. Before it turned white, he noted that it had been pink.

“I’m sorry, but it’s adorable when you turn pink.” She giggled.

“It wouldn’t be so adorable if it meant I was ill," he scowled.

“Do you feel ill?”

His glow lessened as horror rose within him. A few moments ago he had envisioned kissing Hermione. She was his former student, newest friend, and he wanted to kiss her!

What in heaven’t name was happening to him?

“Are you okay?” She paled. “You look whiter than usual.”

“I am well. Why would I not be? A spirit cannot fall ill, so I do not believe I can be sick in the traditional sense.”

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.”

“I’m fine.” Now he had not idea who he was trying to convince. Still, he forced himself to grin. “I am fine.”

“I didn’t mean to alarm you,” she replied.

“No you are fine. I think it’s everything that’s happened. It has been a long night full of conflicting emotions. I would imagine my glow reflects that.”

“Probably.” She swallowed. “If seeing Draco was too much I apologize.”

“No, I needed to see Draco. I needed to see for myself that he was thriving. Seeing him again has brought me peace.”

“He’s happier than I ever thought possible. If you had told me he’d be happy after my first year I would’ve been furious that someone like him could feel that way. Now I couldn’t be happier for him.”

“I am beyond thrilled that he has found joy in his life. After everything he’d been through, he deserves love.”

“That he does.”

Only the wind tapping on the window could be heard.

“Do you want to play some type of game before I leave?” He asked.

“What did you have in mind?”

“I have always been partial to Go Fish.”

“Go Fish.” She laughed.

“Yes.”

She laughed louder.

He raised an eyebrow. “Why would you laugh at me?”

“I never envisioned you playing such a childish game.”

“Go Fish is not childish. It takes quite a bit of skill.”

“How?”

“If you know how to read people, and have a little bit of luck, it is quite easy to win.”

“Are you telling me Go Fish is akin to spying?”

“Spying helps win the game.”

“Sure,” Hermione’s eyes glistened in playfulness.

“If you are so convinced Go Fish takes no skill,” he smirked. “Put your money where your mouth is. Get out some cards and play me.”

“I will.”

Severus watched as she strolled over to a desk across the room. She opened the drawer and coughed.

“Has it been that long since you’ve opened it?”

“I don’t usually get many people playing cards.” She sneezed.

“Pity. It’s an enjoyable pass time.”

“I suppose I could get back into solitaire.” She pulled out the cards.

“No, you just need to get Draco and Potter out for a Poker night.”

“Oh no!” Hermione strolled over to the kitchen table. “Draco is a high roller. He outbids everyone, and he always wins.”

“He does?”

“Yes, the only time he occludes is when he plays Poker. Between that and the Malfoy luck he can make a fortune at almost any casino.”

“Impressive.” He followed her to the kitchen.

“He doesn’t go to casinos much anymore, but before he and Ginevra had children, they enjoyed the occasional trip to Vegas. They took me a few times, but I settled for seeing the concerts.”

“I’m sure those were a more enjoyable experience than sitting at a smoky table anyway.”

“I enjoyed them anyway.” She sat. “Though it was awkward going alone to some of them.”

“Perhaps you will have someone to go with you soon enough.”

The second the words left his mouth, he envisioned him in the seat beside her. The music would be blasting, but he wouldn’t hear a word of the lyrics. His entire focus would be on the woman swaying to the music in the seat beside him.

Hermione stared at him as an image formed in her mind. She would be beside him at a concert, but she wouldn’t hear a single note. Instead, her attention would be on the man beside her complaining that the music was too loud. The spark in his eyes would betray his true emotions though. During a slower song, they would meet each other’s eyes. Their lips would draw closer…

She gasped.

Severus startled.

“Uh, how many cards do you deal?” Her eyes were wide.

“I deal seven.”

“Great.” She shuffled. “That’s great.”

His lips curled up as his glow became pink once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! It is deeply appreciated!


	44. Chapter 44

Sirius was missing something.

No matter how many lectures he attended, how many libraries he visited, or how many book clubs he sat in on, he could not find a man who suited Hermione. Some were promising, but then they would open their mouths, revealing themselves to be complete dunderheads-good God did he just consider them that? Regardless, even if they proved to be intelligent, they would become arses at the drop of a hat, or they would be engaged in pastimes such as Gobstones. Seriously, who played that game after the age of twelve?

Sirius wouldn’t give up though. If he could pass Muggle Studies with an Exceeds Expectations then he could do this. All he needed was a little help, help Severus was less than wiling to provide.

His eyes fell on the book beside him. Perhaps he needed to take a different approach. Aristophanes’ definition of a soulmate was one in which both parties wanted to be united for all eternity. So far, he couldn’t see her wanting to fuse with any of these men. His wasn’t the only definition of love though. After all, Socrates hadn’t had his say. Since he always seemed to be right, or at least the one the audience was meant to support, he may have some insight.

Sirius opened the book, noting not for the first time that it still felt odd to get his answers from a book instead of acting and seeing where the chips fell. Then again, even an old, dead dog could learn a few tricks.

***

The parchment remained unopened on the kitchen table.

Hermione sat across from Severus and met his eyes. He twisted his lower lip, the unspoken question in his eyes.

“I received it earlier this afternoon," She swallowed. "It came to the bookstore.”

“What did it say?”

“I haven’t read it yet.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t feel strong enough to read it without you being with me,” her face was pale.

“Why not?” He asked.

“I wanted someone with me if it was a rejection.” She bowed her head.

“Why would it be a rejection?”

“You said it yourself, I’m relatively unknown in academia. Perhaps they thought I was simply riding off my fame and did not take me seriously.”

“Your calculations were correct. They must be able to see that.”

“ _Your_ calculations were correct," she emphasized. "Mine though may be erroneous.”

“If that was the case, I would have caught any error you made," his glow was a light yellow. 

“I know, and I have faith that you would have caught everything.”

“Yet you have little faith in yourself.”

Hermione took a shaky breath.

“Why?” Severus’ voice was softer.

“To start, I’m a college dropout.”

“So? You are one of the brightest witches of your age. That alone should give you some credibility.”

“Perhaps.” She took a bite of her chicken and grinned. “This is good.”

“Is it better than the restaurant’s?” His lips curled up.

“It’s better than the one Great Wall serves anyway. The jury is still out on if it’s better than China Queen.”

“China Queen always was exceptional,” Severus admitted. “Still, you did learn how to cook several meals.”

“I did.”

“If you can learn to cook in such a short length of time.” He leaned closer to her. “Then why can you not make a potion?”

“I don’t know.”

“Your potion will be accepted. If not, there are other research facilities you can apply to.”

“I guess.”

“No, that’s true. If one research facility rejects the potion then we will find another one which isn’t filled with dunderheads.”

She took another bite and grinned.

“Now, please open the parchment.”

She gulped. “Could you please open it?”

“You don’t need me to open it.”

“Actually I do.”

His glow dulled.

“I know we will work on things if there’s a rejection, but if I have to rework things then I need to take more time. My dad is running out of time though," her voice was soft.

“Fair enough, but I cannot…”

“I know.” She sat up straighter. “I want you to touch and open the parchment.”

He complied with her wishes.

She took another bite, trying to read Severus’ expression. Sometimes, his facial expressions werejust as hard to read as he was at Hogwarts. His glow was growing brighter though. That had to be a good sign, or so Hermione hoped.

“How does the rest of next week look for you?” He drawled.

“I’m mostly free.”

“No, you will not be.” He smiled and slid the parchment towards her. “You will be at the research facility testing your potion.”

Hermione cheered and raised her hands. Crookshanks leapt and darted out of the kitchen.

“Congratulations. You have just taken the first step towards becoming a potions mistress.” His glow was bright.

“Oh my God! I can’t believe it! I mean, I knew your calculations were correct, and I knew you could make it!”

“I did very little. You put in most of the work.”

“I know, but I still can’t believe I got in.” Her eyes glistened as she read it.

“They will want to know when you’re free sooner rather than later. Wednesday looks like the day they can meet.”

“Wednesday is fine!” Hermione exclaimed. “It’s perfect actually. I need to write them and tell them that now!”

“Actually, you need to eat first.”

“No, this is too important to take time for eating.” She stepped towards her office.

“The facility is closed now.”

She stopped.

“You can write the letter and send it first thing in the morning. That way, it won’t be stuck in the cold the entire night.”

“Yes.” She ran back to the table. “I can do that.”

His glow was bright and as warm as the fireplace in the sitting room.

“I know I’m overreacting, but this is such a relief!”

“No, you are not overreacting at all,” he answered.

“Maybe not to the average person, but you must have been much more subdued.”

“I was far from it. When I got my first acceptance to a research facility I knocked over some ink and spilled it all over my acceptance letter. I had a devil of a time casting the spells to get it all off," his eyes gleamed at the memory.

“When did you first get accepted into a research center?”

“I was seventeen,” Severus replied. “I was the youngest person on record to be admitted. Still, the potion was successful, making me also the youngest person to receive a potions patent.”

“I believe you still hold that record.”

“At least I hold one positive record.”

“Out of curiosity, what was that potion for?”

His glow intensified. “It was a stomach settling potion without the side effects of usual treatments. I believe it was called Perut Tenang.”

“Oh Merlin!” She covered her mouth with her hands. “I practically lived off of that after my breakup with Ron.”

He frowned.

“I was so stressed from the newspapers and moving my stuff out,” she explained. “Things got better when I moved to Australia, but for a few months I depended on that potion not to get heartburn.”

“I am so sorry you went through any of that.” His glow dimmed.

“It’s over now. All that matters is that my potion was accepted and I may cure my dad unless,” the light in her eyes died. “Unless it does not work as intended.”

“If that is the case, then we will revise the potion. We will not stop working until your dad is cured.”

“Then what?” Her voice was weaker. “Once he’s cured, will you leave?”

“I doubt it,” he answered. “The Trinity wants you to find a deeper sense of well being than you have at the moment. I am at a loss as what that would look like though.”

“I am too. All I know is that I’m happier than I’ve been in years.”

“I am happier than I’ve ever been as well.”

“Perhaps, but you’ll be happier in heaven I’m sure.” She sat and took another bite.

“Perhaps,” he mused.

“Anyway,” her eyes lit up once more. “Perhaps you can come to the conference with me.”

“As far as I know I am not allowed to go anywhere other than your apartment.”

“Yes, but this is an emergency. I need moral support in order to be happy.”

“I would love nothing more than to support you however I can. But…” Severus’ glow intensified. “There may be no reason I cannot support you. Deals are modified all the time.”

“That they are.”

“I will speak with Dismas about it when I next see him. I’m sure he can modify the terms of this arrangement.”

“Let’s hope so anyway. I could use someone to walk me through everything.”

“You will receive direction from the other researchers.”

“Yes, but they will only be adequate compared to the advice you give.”

He chuckled. “True.”

“God,” she sighed. “I had almost given up hope for Dad. Perhaps this isn’t the cure, but I feel like we’re at least getting closer.”

“You are much closer to achieving your goal.”

“Thank you again.” She placed a hand on the table beside his. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

“No, thank you for helping me with my eternal salvation. I don’t think I could be as close as I am to it without you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now, go ahead and eat while I explain certain procedures, at least the ones which were in place before I died.”

“Okay.” She dug into her cashew chicken.

“First, the head researcher will organize a panel of test subjects. Most of them will probably be taken from the cardiac ward in St. Mungo’s, though they may put out a call to find them.”

“Okay.”

“Then, the head researcher will ask them to sign forms consenting to the study. You will receive those consent forms and will need to sign a few of your own. Honestly most of the first day is filling out forms.”

“How exciting," she deadpanned.

“Indeed but that was my favorite part of it.”

“Why?”

“Because it was simple.”

Her stomach sank. 

“After all the forms are signed, you must give a presentation on your potion to a panel of researchers as well as the ethics board.”

“The ethics board.” Her eyes grew.

“It is a formality,” he continued. “They merely want to ensure that you are not attempting to turn anyone into a frog purposely and that the study is conducted in a humane manner. There is no reason to believe that they will give you any trouble.”

“Okay.”

“The next day will be the day you administer it. I will admit that this is the most nerve wracking part since you have to watch the patients’ reactions.”

“How did you handle watching the subjects?”

“I occluded and scowled. I also snapped at anyone who attempted to make small talk.”

“I can’t occlude, but maybe I’ll want to speak with the rest of them.”

“That would be a better way of coping. The waiting is the hardest part, but when the side effects are clear they will know.”

“Then what?”

“It will be an acceptance, everyone will congratulate you, and you will sign the legal forms for the patent. Once they begin using it, you will have an additional source of income.”

“That sounds so simple.”

“It is,” he replied. “I have every faith you will be able to navigate the process.”

“Thank you.” She blushed.

His glow turned pink.

How had he gotten so lucky to have a witch like Hermione in his afterlife?

Hermione stifled a giggle, while wondering how she had gotten so lucky to have a wizard like Severus in her life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	45. Chapter 45

It was never a good thing when Sirius glowed that brightly.

“I have the perfect plan.”

Now Severus knew idiocy was on the horizon.

“I just finished _The Symposium.”_ Sirius was glowing as if he had just found the cure for dragonpox. 

_“_ Congratulations. You are more capable of reading," Severus deadpanned. "I will admit, I had my doubt for a moment."

“Normally I would jump at the bait, but right now nothing can ruin my good mood.” Sirius plopped onto the couch.

“What happened which has you so joyful? Did they decide to take us out of our misery and give you a new partner?”

“No, they thought you’d miss me too much if they did that.” Sirius gave him the most innocent expression he could muster.

“I would miss you as much as I'd miss an ulcer,” Severus groaned.

“You’re about to be very happy that I’m around.”

“Why would I ever be happy that you’re around?”

_“_ Because I know how to find Hermione’s soulmate now!”

“How?" Severus smriked. "Do you intend to ask potential men if they like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain?”

“No.” He tilted his head towards the ceiling. “Though that could work too.”

“Then I’d suggest working on that personal ad.”

“No, I have an even better idea. I know who Hermione needs.”

“Who?”

Sirius picked up the book and turned to Diotima’s speech. “She needs to find someone who can create beautiful things with her.”

“What kinds of beautiful things are they meant to create exactly?” Severus raised his eyebrow “Do you intend for them to create a more sensible rulebook for Quidditch?”

“No, though again that would be helpful.”

“There is little time to waste then. Get on it.”

“No, Hermione needs to create something else with her partner.” Sirius pointed to the page. “She and her lover need to create a child, ideas, or preferably both.”

Severus took the book and read the last few paragraphs.

“According to Socrates and Diotima, love is intrinsically creative. A weak version of this love creates children, but true love creates ideas which set the world ablaze.”

Severus’ eyes grew, Not only had Sirius read the passage, but he understood it as well as any philosophy student. He didn’t know whether to feel proud of Sirius or horror that he had a new goal for Hermione’s soulmate in mind.

“All this time I was looking for someone who would fit with her personality wise and someone who could heal the hole in her heart. That isn’t right though. She needs someone who can help her create something beautiful.”

“I’m still unclear as to what she is meant to create.”

“I don’t know,” Sirius admitted. “I’m going to find out though.”

“It would probably be best to know what you’re looking for before you subject her to dunderhead after dunderhead in a vain attempt to create some vaguely beautiful thing.”

“That’s where you come in.”

He lowered the book.

“You’re with her all the time,” Sirius continued. “What does she want to do most of all? What does she have the most potential to accomplish? What is that one thing she wishes she could do?”

“I think she’s already accomplished her main goal.”

“I knew you would fight this idea the second you heard it,” Sirius put his arms over his chest.

“I am not trying to provoke you. She wanted a cure for her father, and I believe we’ve found it.”

“She told Harry that she sent something into a research facility the other day. How did that go?”

“Very well.” Severus’ lips curled up. “The research facility has accepted her formula. All that is left is to test it.”

“That’s wonderful.” Sirius’ glow intensified.

“It truly is.”

“Then again, was there ever any doubt she could accomplish her goal?”

“No.”

“That being said.” Sirius’ glow lessened. “That can’t be the only goal she has in life. Surely there’s something else she wants to do.”

“Right now her goals seem to revolve around learning how to cook and helping me create some potions I was unable to create in life.”

“What potions?” Sirius asked.

“Before I was headmaster, I devised a few new formulas. At the time I was teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, so I had little time to create anything new. Even as headmaster I would create formulas in my spare time, but alas, I could not brew them.”

“Oh wow, doing math in your spare time." Sirius deadpanned. "You sure did live a life of excitement.”

“Spying was more than exciting enough for me.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Sirius scratched the armrest.

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Severus muttered.

“So you were relaxing by creating potions and gave your ideas to her. Why does she want to brew them?”

“Because she is learning to reclaim herself.”

“Reclaim herself?”

Severus nodded.

“What do you mean by that?”

“She has been hiding from the world for years. The most obvious example of this is that she dropped out of college.”

“Hermione walked away from education?”

“Indeed.”

Sirius whistled. “No wonder we needed to help her. It sounds like she hadn’t been her true self in years.”

“No, she had not been,” Severus replied. “Back to my original point though. When her father fell ill she decided to create a potions lab. Apparently she enjoyed brewing so much she wanted to make the potions I could not create in life.”

“Great! I actually have something to build upon then.”

Severus cocked his head.

“Whoever she winds up with must be able to brew potions. He must be able to help her fulfill her goal in brewing what you could not. In fact, I’ll bet that’s why you are visiting her instead of me.” His smile widened. “You are supposed to provide the formulas they brew. Once you hand them over she and her lover will brew them together. They will finally be able to create something beautiful.”

“You want me to hand over everything so she and some dunderhead can brew my potions?” Severus turned a dull red.

“First of all, anyone I select for her will not be a dunderhead.”

“I doubt that very much.”

“Second of all,” Sirius glared at the other spirit. “She needs someway to bond with her potential partner. They need to create something together. If you can provide that something, then you’ve accomplished your mission.”

“I will not have her bonding over what I’ve created with a man who is unworthy of her!”

“Oh now we’re back to that! No man I choose could ever be good enough for her.”

“It is a real concern, one I’m shocked you don’t share," Severus snapped.

“Probably because I don’t have half the issues you have.”

“I’ll have you know that I am completely free of any issues.”

“Please, you have more personal issues than _Witch Weekly._ ”

“I swear if there’s isn’t a point to this…”

“Is your argument against this about the man I will select for her, or is this about the fact that you won’t get credit for what they create?”

Severus turned white.

“That’s what this is about.” Sirius stood. “You want credit for whatever they create since you came up with the formula.”

“That is not my problem.”

“I think it’s exactly what your problem is. You can’t stand that someone else will be taking credit of your work.” Sirius pointed at him.

“Credit means nothing in heaven, ergo it means nothing to me.”

“Yet you have just enough pride not to want to get your name on another paper.”

“It is not an issue of pride as much as it is putting Hermione in a position where she could be hurt.”

“Is that the problem, or are you afraid of letting her go?”

Severus turned blue.

Sirius stood and put a hand on the other spirit’s shoulder. Severus backed away and glared at him.

“You have to set Hermione free." Sirius' voice was softer. "She has to find her own happiness, even it involves using you to do so.”

“In other words, I am nothing more than a stepping stone in her path to finding eudaimonia.” Severus' glow darkened.

“Well, yeah, more or less.”

Severus slumped onto the couch and shook his head.

“Why are you looking at me like that? We both knew our goal was to provide Hermione with eudaimonia. We were never meant to be permanent fixtures in her life.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

“I am not an imbecile.” Severus furrowed his eyebrows. “I know what our mission is.”

“Really? Because you seem to forget it most days.”

“I know we’re meant to provide Hermione with happiness, but what if we lead her on the wrong path? What if we think we’ve provided her with happiness, but five years later her heart is broken once again? What if I am in heaven, yet she is in a worse position than before?”

“We have to let her live her life, even if that means she gets hurt.” Sirius replied.

“I just wish I could watch over her always,” Severus answered.

“Perhaps you could apply to be her guardian angel. Merlin knows he could use a break.”

Severus couldn’t help but grin.

“Trust me Severus, I know what I’m doing,” Sirius replied.

“I do not trust you in the least, and I highly doubt you know what you’re doing.”

Sirius scowled.

“Still, I have no choice but to work with you. Do what you must.”

“Great!” Sirius’ glow brightened again. “I’ll follow her to the potions testing. I’ll see if any of those lucky bachelors takes an interest in her. If one does, then you can push her in his direction Once they fall in love, well, I should get at least a few centuries off of Purgatory.”

“What about me?” Severus muttered.

“What about you? You’ll be so busy in heaven you won’t have time to think about the fact that you are only getting minimal credit for your potions.”

“Yes,” Severus mumbled, wondering when heaven started sounding like hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	46. Chapter 46

No matter how long Severus was in the afterlife, he would not get used to people popping into his quarters without so much as a Pop!

“I didn’t mean to startle you again,” Dismas' glow lessened. “I should find a way to warn you when I’m about to appear.”

“Do not worry about it,” Severus replied, relieved it wasn’t Sirius returning with some theory on Hermione’s new true love. “I just appreciate that I don’t need to wait hours for you to appear after I’ve requested your presence.”

“Spiritual travel does work faster than horseback.”

“It works faster than sending a Patronus and waiting for the person to apparate too.”

“What’s a Patronus?” He cocked his head.

“It is an animal that you create out of mist," Severus explained.

“Does it look like a cloud?”

“No, it is more like a magical mist.”

"Oh." The saint drawled. “How does one make a Patronus?”

“It requires magic."

"I figured as much."

"You must conjure up your happiest memory, or what you believe would make you happy. Then you pull out your wand and say, ‘expecto patronum.’" His expression became dreamy, as if he was casting it in that moment. "If performed correctly, an animal made of mist appears from your wand. Of course very few wizards could perform it correctly.”

“Was it a secret spell?”

“Far from it. You just needed to be a powerful wizard in order to perform it correctly.”

“Can the person casting the spell make any animal?” 

“No, the animal reflects your personality, or something you hold dear.”

“I see.” Dismas’ glow brightened. “Did you have a Patronus?”

“I did.” Severus turned blue. “It was a doe.”

“Why is that a problem?”

“My Patronus was a doe because of my love for Lily.” Severus’ glow dimmed. “At least the love I thought I had for Lily.”

“What do you mean, ‘the love I thought I had for Lily?’”

“It means I have been reevaluating things, and I am uncertain whether I loved Lily or the person I wanted Lily to be.”

Dismas hummed.

“All of my happiest memories revolved around her, but looking back, I don’t remember them as fondly.”

“Why not?”

“At times she seemed to humor me, or was rather annoyed with me. Looking back, I seemed to be an embarrassment to her at times.”

“That must be depressing.”

“It is, which makes me wonder if I was ever in love with her at all, or if I loved a figment of my imagination.” Severus shook his head. “It sounds a bit odd saying it aloud. I thought I would know if I was in love with a real person or not. Perhaps I overestimated by ability to judge people.”

“Do you want to know what I think?”

Severus kept his gaze on the saint.

“I think you are making terrific progress in Purgatory.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Purgatory is all about reevaluating one’s life," Dismas explained. "Situations are often not as we perceived them in life when we look back upon them.”

“I know, but I thought I loved Lily. The longer I’m here though the less I cherish my memories with her though. She seems like another friend I had a natural falling out with, not my potential soulmate.”

“Sometimes the things we held dear in life we no longer hold as valuable in the afterlife.”

“I suppose you would know about that.” Severus slumped onto the couch.

“I do.” Dismas sat beside him.

“That being said,” Severus’ glow returned to its usual hue. “I came to ask a favor, not muse on my previous life.”

“Okay, what’s the favor?”

“Hermione is attending a potions conference next week.”

“You must have found a potential cure for her father’s heart condition,” Dismas' eyes twinkled. 

“We did, or rather she did.” Severus’ glow brightened.

“That is wonderful!”

“Yes, but she is nervous. I would like to be with her in some way, even if it is only seeing her in the hotel room when she finishes.”

“What are you saying?”

“I would like to modify the terms of the program. I want to visit her in her hotel room, or if possible, be with her when she presents.”

“I’m sorry.” Dismas’ glow lessened. “You can only visit her in her apartment.”

“I know, but this is a special occasion," Severus argued. "Surely we can modify the terms of the agreement.”

“I can’t modify the terms of the agreement. Only the Trinity can do that.”

“Then ask them if I can visit Hermione while she gives her presentation.”

“I don’t know if they will, or even if it would be advisable for them to do so.”

“Why?”

“Because the goal is to help Hermione achieve eudaimonia. This means she needs to face certain situations alone.”

“She’s faced the last four years alone,” Severus argued. “She needs someone beside her.”

“You can be beside her in spirit.”

“I cannot do that from here.”

Dismas bit his lower lip.

“My godson visited Hermione a few days ago. He said he searched for a sign from me, to no avail.”

The saint folded his hands.

“I didn’t know he was looking for me, in large part because I spent the last seven year sitting in either a conference table and a waiting room. He needed me, yet I could not be with him because I was in Purgatory.”

“Yes,” Dismas smoothed his robe. “Souls in Purgatory are usually unable to communicate with their loved ones.”

“So you see my problem.”

“Indeed I do.” Dismas scratched his chin.

“The last thing I ever want is for Hermione to feel abandoned. I know in heaven you hear prayers.” His glow was white. “They do hear prayers, correct?”

“We do hear prayers. In fact, some of us hear so many prayers we can barely sort through them.”

“Right, but in Purgatory I will have no idea if she needs me.”

“Technically you aren’t in Purgatory.” The saint smiled as his glow strengthened. “Which may give us a loophole.”

“Loophole?”

“Yes,” Dismas replied. “You may be able to obtain a prayer line, at least for a limited time.”

Severus’ glow intensified. “You could do that for me?”

“No,” Dismas admitted. “But I am more than happy to put in a word for you with the Trinity. Given the unusual circumstances of your situation, they may agree to give you one, at least for a time.”

“I would like that.”

“Again, no promises. The Trinity must make the final decision. Still, I think we can make a good case for a temporary prayer line.”

“Thank you.”

“I am more than happy to help.”

Severus’ glow turned a warm shade of yellow.

“You seem to be very close to Hermione,” Dismas noted.

“She is my closest companion.”

“At the moment, or throughout the course of your life?”

“I suppose over the course of my life,” Severus admitted. “I have been close to very few people, Hermione being an exception.”

“So she is teaching you how to be a friend?”

“You could say that.”

“I am saying that.”

“Then you would be correct.” Severus bowed his head.

“Is being her friend problematic?”

“No, but,” Severus looked into his eyes. “We have already had one fight in which we reconciled afterwards.”

“Wonderful!” Dismas grinned. “You’re learning how to resolve conflicts without cutting the other person out of your life.”

“Yes, but I feel there’s little reason to celebrate.”

“Why not? This is great progress.”

“I have a nasty habit of ruining every good thing in my life. I do not believe I will be able to sustain this relationship.”

“First of all, this is the afterlife, not earthly life. This is a time for second chances.”

“She has already given me one.”

“Then learn from the mistakes you made in the past and seize the present.”

“What if I screw up?" Severus was white again. "What if Hermione ends up hating me when all is said and done?”

“You cannot control what Hermione does and how she feels about you. All you can do is admit that you sometimes make mistakes and forgive yourself.”

“Forgiveness is something I have rarely experienced.” His glow was a dull blue. “I do not know how well I can forgive myself.”

“It’s a good thing you have an eternity to learn how.” Dismas’ glow was bright as the morning star.

“I suppose so.” Severus’ glow returned to its normal hue.

“As you interact with Hermione, remember this.” Dismas looked into his eyes. “Heaven is about giving and accepting love. Whether it is with someone on earth or in the afterlife, all we want to do is love them.”

“I can love Hermione,” Severus’ glow turned pink.

“Yes,” Dismas smiled. “I think you are already quite good at loving Hermione.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	47. Chapter 47

Hermione held up her royal blue dress and cocked her head. “Is this too formal?”

Severus shrugged. “I haven’t the foggiest clue.”

She scowled.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I am no expert in fashion.”

“Yes, but you are an expert in conferences and how to dress during them.” She put the dress closer her chest. “So is this dress appropriate or does it scream, ‘I’m trying too hard?’”

“It looks fine.”

“Fine?”

Severus pursed his lips together. If she was still a student she would’ve lost fifty points for raising her voice to him in such a manner.

“I need more than fine.” She threw the dress on the bed. “I need professional. I need distinct. I need fierce. I need…”

“To relax.”

“Don’t you dare to me to relax,” she growled.

“I am only giving you my best advice.”

“Take your advice and shove it.”

“I suppose you don’t want my help in selecting an outfit anymore.”

“Not if you’re going to be that way about it.” She tapped her foot. “Except you are the one who knows best how these conferences and what people wear to them. From that angle I desperately need your help.”

“Again, I’m not an expert on fashion.”

“Ugh,” she groaned. “You can at least give me some advice.”

"I'm at a loss."

"Why? You've been to conferences before?"

“I barely paid attention to what the women were wearing during my presentations," he admitted. "I had other things on my mind.”

“Like scowling at everyone?”

“Yes, amongst other things.”

“That’s it!” Her eyes lit up.

“What?” His glow flickered.

“Quick, where did you get your clothes?”

“Why would you ask that?” He drawled.

“Because I have the perfect plan.”

He folded his arms over his chest.

“All I need to be taken seriously is to dress like you.”

His eyes bulged.

“I’ll bet if I wear your robes I’ll leave a positive impression, or at least look imposing!” 

“You will scare half of them to death.”

“Intimidating is good. That means they notice me," she answered.

“You will not be receiving the type of attention you crave..”

“Yes, I will be.” Her eyes glistened. “If I dress like you they’ll have to take me seriously.”

“Either that, or they’ll think you’re trying too hard to imitate a thoroughly unpleasant man they never want to see again.”

“I would look rather ridiculous in black wouldn’t I?” She sighed.

“Oh no, you are anything but ridiculous when you wear black." For a brief moment he turned pink.

“Really?”

“Yes,” his glow brightened. “You command my complete and total attention when you wear black.”

“In other words.” She grinned. “Wear the black dress.”

“You could, though I would save that for a Ministry Ball. After all you want them to pay attention to your research, not your appearance.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means.” His glow pulsated. “You are stunning in that dress. Any man who sees you wearing it would know he was looking at an amazing woman.”

“I sense a but.”

“But you don’t need to distract a man with your beauty. You will command their attention with your mind.”

“I hope so anyway.” She sat on her bed.

“You don’t need a stunning wardrobe to capture anyone’s attention.” He sat beside her. “All you need to do is have confidence in yourself.”

“I know.” She swallowed. “I’m nervous though. All my life I’ve wanted to present my academic work to a research university. Now that I can though I’m afraid everyone else will think I’m nothing but a silly little girl, or someone who was only accepted by virtue of her fame.”

“Anyone who looks at those formulas and the calculations you put into them will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you belong at that research center.” He floated closer to her. “In fact, it would not surprise me if they offered you a job by the end of the experiment.”

“Please don’t joke about things like that. My time to be an academic has long since passed.”

“I am being serious. You are just as skilled in potions as I am. If on numerous occasions I was offered a job at a research center, you should have no problem procuring a job there should you choose to take it.”

“You were offered a job at a university?”

“I was offered several positions during the course of my life.”

“If you hadn’t made your deal with Dumbledore, would you have taught undergrads?”

“In a heartbeat.”

She chuckled. “I it would have been much more pleasant to deal with undergraduates than preteens.”

“Infinitely so.”

Both of them fell silent.

“If you had to live your life again, knowing how much the Wizarding World needed the intel you provided,” She swallowed. “Would you have decided to be a university professor?”

“Probably.” Severus’ voice was quiet. “As selfish as that would be, I would have liked to have spent my life creating potions instead of killing and spying.”

“It isn’t selfish at all.”

“Still, if nobody else could’ve brought down Voldemort then it would be selfish to be a professor. Knowing that, I would have agreed to be a spy, though I would have warned myself not to give Voldemort the prophecy.”

“Perhaps you could have been a professor and a spy.”

“Who would have defended you then?”

She whispered, “I don’t know.”

“Neither do I,” he answered. “For that reason, I am glad I taught at Hogwarts and spied for Dumbledore.”

She put a hand through his, reveling in the warmth it brought.

“I cannot go back and change anything,” he continued. “Yet you have a bright future. Don’t squander it by worrying you aren’t good enough for academia. I know these researchers. You have more brains in your little finger than they have combined.”

“You really think that.” She gave him a small smile.

“As I’ve said, there is no benefit to lying. It only tacks on more Purgatory time,” his glow was a soft yellow.

“How does it feel being forced to be honest after spending most of your life lying to others?”

“Liberating,” his lips curled up. “I can finally relax and show somebody who I truly was, and who I wish I could’ve been.”

“It has been a pleasure getting to know the real you.”

“It has been a pleasure to know you too.”

Both of them turned their attention to the black suitcase on the ground before them.

“That being said.” Hermione stood. “I’m still no closer to finding a week’s worth of outfits than I was when you came.”

“No, and we cannot allow you in your pajamas now can we?” He teased.

“No, although being in a ratty t-shirt would make my presentation memorable. All of them would be enthralled with my smiley pajama bottoms.”

He burst out laughing.

“That being said,” she pointed to the dress. “Please get off of that. I think I’m going to wear it.”

“Very well then.” He stood before she took it.

“Yes, and I have some tasteful business suits I could wear.” She folded the dress. “Then there’s a little gray dress I save for important meetings.”

“A little gray dress?”

“Yes, I don’t usually wear it, but this seems like an appropriate time.”

“How many little dresses do you have?”

“Four. They were meant for dates, though I’ve only worn the black one around you.”

“That is quite an honor.” He turned pink.

“Indeed it is.” She giggled before going to the closet.

“I swear if you wear that black dress you’ll be the death of those researchers.”

“Will they go to heaven or hell?” She rummaged through her closet.

“I would hope wherever they are I do not need to listen to their inane theories.”

She glanced back. “You don’t have a high opinion of them, do you?”

“Actually I hold them in great esteem. If I ever told you that outright though you’d think I’d fallen ill.” He smirked.

She burst out laughing. “I would.”

Severus watched as she caught her breath and pulled out a business suit.

“I still wish you could have come with me.” She strolled over to the suitcase on the floor.

“I know, but I am only a prayer away.”

“True.” She put the outfits on the bed. “It won’t be the same as having you with me though. I will miss having someone to talk to in the evenings.”

“I admit that I will miss spending my evenings with you, especially given that my only social contact will be Black.”

“That sounds like hell.”

“You have no idea.” He frowned.

“Hopefully when you go to heaven you will never need to see him again.”

“One can only hope.”

She took a gray business suit and put it up to her body. “Does this work?”

“It is adequate.”

She frowned. “Just adequate?”

“No, it’s perfect,” Severus replied. “Still if I was too complimentary you would think I had received a personality transplant.”

“I would never want that.”

“Truly?”

She nodded. “I’ve grown to like you as you are.”

“You are not terrible company yourself,” he replied.

She blushed as she folded her suit. “I’ll be sure to talk to you every day.”

“I will do my best to answer every word, at least as much as I can.” He promised.

They gazed into each other’s eyes, both wishing they could tell the other how much they would be missed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	48. Chapter 48

Dismas said that the best way of communicating with Hermione was to send a powerful affectionate thought her way once every so often. They needed to be done with care though. If the powerful affectionate thoughts occurred too often then the mortal would become overwhelmed and too distracted to function. If they were infrequent or too weak then she may not feel his presence at all.

It was a balance Severus hope he had struck throughout the course of the day.

“I uh, don’t know how this works, but here it goes…”

Severus’ glow intensified as her voice filled his mind. It was as if she was in the room with him, although he could not see her. Surreal, yet peaceful and comforting.

“You were right, the paperwork is more than tedious. The longer it went on the more wound up I became. Then again, I may have been too nervous about going in front of the ethics board to concentrate.”

“I was nervous when I presented in front of the ethics board too,” Severus answered in a soft voice. “It didn’t help that if I glared at them, they had the courage to return the favor. The other researchers may have feared me, but the ethics board was more than willing to put me in my place.”

“I thought for sure they would disqualify me because I had overlooked something. It turns out I was wrong," she continued.

“I knew we’d covered all our bases.”

“They said it was among the most thoroughly put together experiments they had seen. I believe one panelist said that only one person was more thorough in his ethical standards, that person being you.”

Severus’ glow pulsated. Due to his Death Eater status he had wanted to make sure his method of experimentation was irreproachable. He didn’t know anyone had noticed though.

“That wasn’t the only time your name came up.” She continued. “When I told them that you inspired my work, they all shared their stories of you. Some of them were quite hilarious, like the time you made a subject cry because he insisted on your potion be grape flavored instead of cherry. You were less than amused, and let him know it.”

Severus chuckled. He’d never seen anyone shrink before him like that. It would be a lie to say he didn’t enjoy it.

"Then there was another who said your eyes would light up whenever you explained a particular novel concept. She said nobody had as much presence or charisma as you did. If she wasn't married she said she would have asked you out for a dinner."

Severus rolled his eyes. If only she'd realized what a git I really was.

“You were much more respected than you realized.”

You mean they didn’t hate me?

“They cared about you, and were proud to call you their colleague. All of them wish you had survived and could have taken a professor position at a university," she continued.

I would have liked to have been their colleague too. Even if I didn’t show it, I did respect them.

“I wish you could’ve seen the whole conference in person. Still, you were there in spirit, quite literally.”

He couldn’t help but smile.

“I don’t know what else to say, but I felt you with me from time to time. Tell everyone who made this possible thank you for me. I don’t know how I could have gotten through this without you.”

“You would have done just fine, though I am pleased my presence helped.”

“Anyway, good night I suppose. Try to think of me tomorrow.”

“You are ever-present in my mind.” Severus’ glow was pink.

“Good night.” 

“Good night.” His glow brightened.

“What on earth?”

Severus’ glow turned white as he turned to his right.

Sirius rubbed his eyes and blinked.

“Is there a problem?” Severus drawled.

“Yes,” Sirius' voice was louder than usual. “I think my vision is a little off.”

“What is wrong? Have you seen the error of your ways and wish to repent?”

“No, I think you were pink!”

Severus’ glow dimmed.

“I thought you were pink and honestly.” His lips curled up. “It was cute.”

Now Severus was red.

“You were adorable, it was almost like you were…”

Severus glared at him.

“Almost like you were a strawberry daiquiri!” Sirius burst out laughing. “A delicious, sweet tasting daiquiri! Like the kind I had in Martinique, only with a nice helping of chocolate syrup!”

Severus scowled.

“I’m sorry.” Sirius stopped. “I just never thought I’d see something so adorable.”

“I fail to see what is so funny about your failing vision.”

“No, my vision isn’t failing. You were pink.”

Severus opened his mouth, only to close it. Hermione had claimed he had turned pink a few times. Could he be malfunctioning in front of Black as well?

“I never thought I’d see the day Severus Snape was pink!”

His glow was stark white. What could being pink mean? Was he falling ill and he was unaware of it? How could a spirit fall ill anyway? Was this something he needed to see someone about, or would it pass?

What the hell was happening to him?

“Anyway, you’ll be happy to hear my latest news.” Sirius strolled to the couch.

“Did the Trinity reevaluate your sentence and decide hell was a more appropriate place for you to spend eternity?” He smirked.

“No.” Sirius’ smile remained. “That news would be too devastating for you to bear.”

“Excuse me?” Severus would've spat out the words if he could've.

“Admit it, you’ll miss me when I’m gone.”

“I’ll miss you as much as I miss filing taxes.”

“Say that now, but I’m told I grow on people.”

“Like a bad case of genital warts.”

“Normally that would get under my skin, but today it will not.” Sirius plopped onto the couch. “Not when I have such a brilliant plan.”

“I’ll be the judge of your brilliant plan," Severus growled.

“Of course you will be. You can’t help but judge everything, can you?”

“No, I cannot.”

There was a gleam in Sirius’ eyes.

“What have you done anyway?” Severus' glow was yellow.

“I just found Hermione’s soulmate!”

“Who could possibly be worthy of her affection?”

“Dr. Henry Marsh.”

“Dr. Henry Marsh?” Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, he’s perfect for her.”

“How exactly did you determine this?”

“I saw them together at lunch. He was hanging on her every word. She seemed to take an interest in what he was saying too.”

“They were probably being polite to each other, nothing more," Severus answered.

“I don’t think so. Unlike you, she takes a genuine interest in people," Sirius noted. 

“Taking an interest in something does not mean you wish to date it.”

“Mr. Marsh is a ‘he,’ not an ‘it.’”

“That’s a small technicality.”

“Perhaps for you, but,” He shook his head. “No, we need to get back on track. Dr. Marsh values her for her intelligence. He will be someone who listens to her and builds her confidence.”

“He could build her confidence if he wasn’t a pushover Hufflepuff.”

“Wait, you taught him?”

“Of course I did,” Severus answered. “His first year was my tenth year teaching.”

“I take it, you struck fear in his heart every chance you got.”

“No, I simply made it clear that if he did not stop talking in class he would spend the rest of his Hogwarts career scrubbing cauldrons for someone who was unhappy at the prospect of spending the evening with him.”

“I’m sure he was skipping to your class.”

“Skipping is a strong word, but I will admit he enjoyed it far more than any other Hufflepuff ever did," Severus admitted.

“Which means he didn’t cry at the end of it.”

Severus smirked. “More or less.”

“So.” Sirius sat up and folded his hands. “Tell me about Dr Marsh.”

“Again, he enjoyed my class, and he was pleasant enough. He was studious and loyal to his friends, almost to his detriment at times.”

“In other words, he would never cheat on his wife.”

“If he remained the boy I knew, then no, he would not cheat on her," Severus replied. "Though that is a low standard." 

“And he’s intelligent as well as loyal?” 

“More intelligent than most other people in his house.”

“In other words, he’s a genius.”

“No, I am a genius." Severus replied. "He is merely an adequate researcher.”

“Oh of course everyone is a simpleton compared to you.” Sirius groaned.

“Dr. Marsh is not a simpleton, but he is not of my caliber,” Severus answered.

“How have you not been sent to Purgatory for pride?”

“Because there is a difference between being prideful and being honest.”

“You are honestly the most arrogant man I’ve met.”

“I am more than willing to admit when someone’s brilliance rivals my own.”

“But nobody’s does.”

“No.” Severus’ glow and voice softened. “Hermione’s does. Given enough time, she could surpass me.”

Sirius’ mouth hung open.

“There’s no reason to gape at me like a fish without water. Now Dr. Marsh is intelligent in his own right…”

“You’e actually capable of friendship!”

Severus pursed his lips together.

“I thought you couldn’t be anyone’s friend, but now you’re Hermione’s friend!”

“Is it that difficult for you to follow what has been happening with me?” Severus put his head into his hands.

“No, but it’s weird to see you care about anyone.”

He raised his head. “I care enough about Hermione to know Dr. Marsh is not assertive enough for her.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sirius asked.

“Dr. Marsh is a fine individual, but he does not always stand up for himself. He will not challenge Hermione in her personal life. She is going to need to make most of the decisions, and this will wear on her.”

“Would it wear on her, or would it wear on you if you were her?”

“Both.”

“Look,” Sirius’ glow was a bright yellow. “Diotima said two lovers needed to create things together. Dr. Marsh and Hermione could brew potions and create cures the Wizarding World could only dream of.”

“His indecision in personal affairs is going to drive her crazy," Severus argued.

“That is a small detail.”

“It is going to become a significant one given enough time.”

“Listen, I understand he is flawed, but that’s something we’re going to have to expect. I cannot find her a perfect man.”

“I am not asking you to find her the perfect man, just the one who is perfect for her.”

“Let me guess, someone exactly like you.”

“Of course not.”

“Because you’re too good for her.”

“No,” Severus bowed his head. “Someone like me is too flawed. She deserves much better than someone like me.”

“Oh so you’re flawed now.”

“Yes.” His glow was a dull blue. “I am too flawed for her. She deserves much better.”

“I never thought I’d see the day when the mighty Severus Snape would admit he possesses any kind of flaw.”

“We have veered off topic.”

“We have.” Sirius straightened his posture. “I think you need to nudge Hermione towards Dr. Marsh.”

“Even if she doesn’t feel any kind of attraction towards him?”

“Yes,” Sirius replied. “She needs someone to see what’s right in front of her. That’s where we come in.”

“I suppose it is,” Severus’ glow turned dark blue.

“You’ll see.” Sirius leaned back on the couch. “Hermione and Dr. Marsh will be perfect together.”

“Perhaps they will be,” Severus muttered, almost wishing the same could be said of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	49. Chapter 49

Hermione’s chest ached from the banging of her heart.

For hours she and the researchers had observed the patients, taking note of any difference in their condition. So far, none of them had been changed into newts, nor had they sprouted an extra head. At least the nightmares she endured last night were not coming true.

It would be better news if there was any change in the condition of the patients’ hearts, though.

The Healer helped ease an obese witch onto a blue thinly padded table. He set a parchment onto a sterile white table beside him. After raising his wand, he muttered an incantation. Squiggly wavelengths appeared on the parchment beside him.

Hermione stared at the parchment. Were the lines different, or was the stress causing her to see things? If there was a change, was it positive, or was she about to witness a tragedy?

“Thank you, Ms. Nelson.”

With a smile, the witch raised herself. Was it Hermione’s eyes, or had the patient’s skin tone become less cyanotic?

Before Hermione could meditate on her observations, the healer glanced at the parchment. A smile tugged at his lips. “Bring in the next patient, please.”

Another patient was ushered inside. This one was not leaning on his cane as heavily as he was before. In fact, he could lie down without gasping for air.

Did Hermione dare trust that her potion was taking effect?

The healer put down another parchment and performed the same procedure. As the waves formed again, sweat formed upon Hermione’s brow. One question echoed through her mind.

Is there hope for my father?

***

“Now,” Sirius paced from one end of the room to the other. “How do we get Hermione to make the first move?”

“We find a man who is willing to do so himself, saving her the trouble,” Severus crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back into the sofa.

Sirius stopped and glared at Severus. “We may not have that luxury. By your own admission, Dr. Marsh may not take initiative.”

“Then perhaps he is not the right man for Hermione.”

“Or we need to teach her to take control of her life and chase after her dreams, including the dream of having a lover.”

“She seems to have perfect control of her life, and is chasing her dream of being a potions mistress. That seems sufficient for now.”

“Maybe it is for her, but not for us," Sirius argued. "We need to get to heaven, yet we haven’t made much progress since we started the program.”

“She may have cured her father. Isn’t that sufficient?”

“It’s a step in the right direction, but her life could be better if she had someone to celebrate with.”

“I would be more than happy to celebrate with her.”

“Please.” Sirius threw up his hands. “Celebrating with you would be like celebrating with a wet dishrag.”

“Some dishrags are quite fun," Severus smirked.

“Sure, if you’re someone as dull and grumpy as you are.”

“I do not know why you feel the constant need to criticize me. You are no ray of sunshine either.”

“You’re right.” Sirius smirked. “I’m brighter and hotter than three rays of sunshine.”

Severus turned a dull green. The last word he wanted to associate Sirius with was “hot.”

“Anyway, we’re going to need to give her advice and,” Sirius’ glow dimmed. “Shit, only you can interact with her. I can’t give her romantic advice.”

“I am adept at advising people.”

“Please, you can barely interact appropriately with a kitten, much less a woman.”

“If that’s the case then there is a fatal flaw in your plan,” Severus replied. “It appears as if we must abort it and come up with another one.”

“No.” Sirius tapped his chin. “There’s a way around this. I just have to observe Hermione and Dr. Marsh and give you advice on what to tell her based on what I see.”

“In other words, you think you can give her advice based solely on your ability to spy.”

“More or less.”

“Fine, I’ll humor you.” Severus’ glow brightened. “What type of advice am I supposed to give her exactly, how to degrease one’s hair?”

“You wouldn’t know the first then about that, would you?” Sirius hummed.

“No, I am hopeless in matters such as this.”

“Hair advice may help her too.”

“See, I cannot adequately advise Hermione on matters of the heart or hair. It appears we will need a new plan…”

“Why didn’t you create a potion to degrease hair anyway?”

Severus closed his mouth.

“It was always so easy to tease you about your hair,” Sirius continued. “Even right before I died I could still get under your skin about it.”

“Hence the reason you are in Purgatory.”

“Why didn’t you ever create a potion to degrease your hair then? It would have silenced me and others?”

“There were more important things to deal with than greasy hair.”

“Yeah, I know about the war, but you were free most summers. You created other potions. Why didn’t you degrease your hair?”

“Are you being serious, or jerking my chain?” Severus gritted his teeth together.

“I am genuinely curious. Why did you not bother creating a potion to degrease your hair?”

“What would the point have been?” Severus’ glow was duller.

“You could’ve, oh I don’t know, been in a few romantic relationships. That experience would be valuable in a time like this.”

“I had no interest in any romantic entanglement," Severus answered.

“Was that because you were spying, or because you didn’t feel she would reciprocate?”

“Spying was too time consuming to consider a relationship. The fact that it was dangerous was another reason not to be involved with anyone.”

“I’m sure you could’ve had a few relationships. James Bond managed to sleep with a few women after all.”

“Did you just compare me to James Bond?” Severus snapped.

“Yes.”

Severus glowered at him.

“What is your problem? It’s a compliment.”

“How is that a complement?” Severus' glow flickered.

“I mean, you were both spies. Granted James Bond was cooler than you, but spying is spying.”

“If you think spying was anything like some ridiculous muggle movie then you are a bigger dunderhead than I ever imagined!”

“Oh boy more name calling.”

“I am being honest. You seem to think television reflects reality.”

Sirius frowned. “I’m not stupid enough to think TV reflects reality all of the time…”

“But you must have thought all I did was fool around with impractical contraptions, seduce a few women, and drive away in some car far outside my budget.”

“I didn’t think that at all.”

“Then what did you think I did during the war?”

“Kill muggles," Sirius' voice was matter of fact.

“I may have done that as a Death Eater, but what did you think I did for Dumbledore?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius wrung his hands. “You probably sat in on a few meetings, killed a few muggles, and yelled at students.”

“You have no clue what I did," Severus' glow was neon red.

“Hey Harry’s the one who told me you yelled at students. Death Eaters kill people so that’s a given. Meetings were pretty frequent too, so I think I got everything right.”

“You wouldn’t know the first thing about spying!” Severus’ glow was orange.

“Then explain it to me, Mr. Fantastic Spy.”

“Half the time I was beaten by Voldemort for not providing enough information, or because he found it amusing.Most nights I was in the infirmary, or could barely sleep from the bruises.”

Sirius’ glow was white as images of a bruised Severus flashed in his mind.

“Yes, I killed long after I defected, but if I did not I would lose Voldemort’s trust. It was either kill a few muggles, or sacrifice the Wizarding World.”

“Isn’t it language like that which lands one in hell?”

“Why do you think I wanted to avoid watching my life over and over again?” Severus shouted.

Sirius pursed his lips together.

“I see their faces sometimes. Every detail is so vivid.” Severus became white as his eyes grew. “I didn’t want to grow up and be a killer. They hadn’t done anything to me, and I know it. I still turn green when I think of what some of them went through during their last minutes, the things I watch.”

“I would imagine their deaths were not pleasant.”

“I tried to make it as painless as I could. I tried to make it a simple killing curse. The thought of torture sickened me.” His glow was a bright green. “I never wanted any of them to live long enough to scream. I didn’t want Bellatrix to get a hold of them, or watch Dolohov scar them.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that they died at your hands.”

“I know that,” His glow was a dark blue. “Nothing I say can erase the pain I caused. None of their families care that the Wizarding World was saved. Most of them would think it was a crap place to live given the prejudice. Perhaps they were right. Magic may not have been worth the torture we put those who didn’t have it through.”

Sirius examined the man, whose eyes were now downcast. He hadn’t been that blue since the day he’d fought with Hermione. His posture was hunched, almost as if the universe had crushed him.

“Magic was worth it,” Sirius admitted just above a whisper.

“That’s easy for you to say. You weren’t there.”

“I was in the Order…”

“You did nothing during the war.” Severus locked eyes with him. “I remember you whining to anyone who would listen how little you were doing.”

“I was bored.”

“No, you were lucky!”

Sirius knew better than to argue.

“I wish I could’ve been bored! I wish I could’ve relaxed. I wish I could’ve had some sense of serenity. There was no time to indulge in any emotion though, much less find peace.”

Sirius’ glow was a dull blue.

“I envy you. You could run around doing whatever you bloody well pleased. The fate of the Wizarding World was not on your shoulders. All you needed to do was sit in a mansion and give Potter advice, a task you barely managed to accomplish.”

“I gave great advice!”

“You acted like an overgrown teenager and wished to have him emulate you! Instead of providing him with a parental figure you tried to drag him down into your pity party!” Severus' glow was red once more.

Sirius lowered his head.

“You have never had to risk your life for anything. You weren’t even the secret-keeper for Potter. In no way could you ever understand the experiences I have undergone!”

“No.” Sirius dug his foot into the ground. “I wouldn’t understand.”

“So I apologize for not being more well-versed in the ways of love. I wish I could help you with your harebrained scheme. Given that the kind of life I lived was not conducive to having a romance though, I fear I am of little help.”

Sirius stepped closer to the other spirit. “I never thought of any of that when I bullied you, even as an adult.”

“No, you are incapable of thinking of anyone other than yourself for any significant length of time!”

“I’m more than some overgrown teenager!”

“Really? You have yet to act like an adult.”

“Compared to you,” Sirius put his hands behind his back. “I suppose I do behave immaturely.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Are you waiting for an argument?”

“No,” Sirius admitted.

“Wow, you managed to accomplish one intelligent thing today.”

“But I’m not oblivious in all of this.”

Severus furrowed his eyebrows.

“I am capable of empathy.”

“You could’ve fooled me.”

“I didn’t display it with you, perhaps I haven’t displayed with much of anyone,” Sirius admitted. “Still, I know Hermione and what she may be looking for in a man. If you let me, I can advise you in helping to make her happy.”

“Do I have a choice in whether or not to cooperate with you?”

“Of course you do, but it isn’t in your best interest to fight me forever.”

“I suppose not.”

“Severus?”

Severus leapt from the couch and rushed over the wall.

Sirius frowned. “What?”

“Severus we did it!” Hermione’s voice echoed in his mind. “The patients’ hearts are strengthening! There are no ill side effects! We created the cure! We did it!”

Severus’ glow intensified. He whispered, “Congratulations Hermione, I could not be prouder of you.”

“What?” Sirius asked. “What are you saying?”

Severus turned to his companion. “Hermione found the cure for her father’s heart ailment.”

“She did?”

“She did.”

“As if there was any doubt she could!” Sirius ran over and embraced Severus. “You did it! You actually succeeded in your part of the mission!”

A warmth filled the potions master, heightening his sense of happiness. His glow began to fuse into Sirius’, illuminating the room. Before he could get lost in the sensation though, he remembered who was embracing him.

“There is no reason to become overly enthusiastic.” Severus pushed him off. “She still hasn’t obtained eudaimonia.”

“No, but she is closer," Sirius' smile did not fade.

“Indeed she is.”

For the first time, Severus wished he could cry not because he was depressed, but because he was prouder than words could express.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	50. Chapter 50

“Did Severus really call you a dunderhead?”

The head researcher nodded as he dabbed his lips with his stained napkin.

“We all looked at him, and he didn’t apologize,” the man to the right of the head researcher added. “He just glared at us, sneered, and we all moved on with the experiment. I'm pretty sure when he thought we weren't looking he smirked.”

Hermione covered her mouth and giggled, careful not to stick her elbow into the streaks of teriyaki sauce on her empty plate.

“I won’t lie, I was quite taken aback when he did it.” The researcher took the bill from the waitress’ hand. “It was somewhat refreshing though.”

“How?” The other man asked.

“It meant nothing had changed between us.” The head researcher shifted through his coins. “When I became the head researcher people began treating me differently. My once confident students became star struck adolescents, and former colleagues were more careful in what they said in my presence. It was nice to see that Severus hadn’t changed though. He made sure I knew I was only a human, which at the time is what I needed.”

“He had a way of reminding people of their humanity.” She uncovered her mouth. “Even if his methods for doing so were unconventional.”

“Indeed they were.”

“I miss him.” Hermione took one last sip of ice water. “I know he was here in spirit, but I wish he could’ve lived long enough to see this.”

“I wish he was here too,” the head researcher put the coins on the table. “But if he was, he would be proud of you.”

“Although it would pain him to say so,” the man beside the researcher noted.

“I don’t know if he’d be pained to say it,” she replied. “If he wasn’t spying he might have been freer to say what he truly believed. It may have meant he could’ve given out a well earned compliment every once in awhile.”

“Do you think he would’ve congratulated you?”

“I would like to think he would,” her voice was soft.

“Professor Snape aside,” the head researcher put the bill face down on the table. “You should be proud of your accomplishment.”

“I am,” she replied.

“You really are amazing!”

She and the head researcher glanced at the other man.

“I mean,” He bowed his head and blushed. “You’ve done so much. I admire you as a researcher and a person.”

“Thank you, Henry,” she replied. “It’s been an honor getting to know you too.”

He raised his head and gave her a small grin.

“Speaking of getting to know people,” the head researcher continued as the waitress took the bill. “You’ll need to contact the patent office next week to copyright your potion.”

“I can do that.”

“If you need me to, I can walk you through the process,” Henry cut in.

“Thank you. I could use a guide.”

“I’d be more than happy to serve as one.”

“Good.” The head researcher rose and extended his hand. “In the meantime, I’ll let you know if there is any change in the subjects’ condition.”

“Thank you for that, and for everything else.” She shook his hand. “It’s been a pleasure working with all of you.”

“The feeling was very mutual.” The head researcher released her hand.

“It was.” Henry stood.

“Do you need help getting to your hotel?”

“No, I can apparate there just fine," she replied. 

“I.” Henry gulped. “I can go with you.”

“That’s very lovely, but unnecessary." She blushed.

“No, I insist,” Henry folded his hands. “I mean, it’s been so long, and I’d really love to see you again, just to catch up.”

“If you want to catch up we can always get a cup of coffee.”

“If we could, I’d love that!”

“Well, then,” she gestured to the door. “Lead the way to a good coffee shop.”

He looked at her as if he had just won a millions galleons. She swallowed. It had been years since someone had looked at her with so much joy. Perhaps she should enjoy the moment and not overthink things. Perhaps she should value the man before her instead of letting her mind wander to the spirit dwelling outside of Purgatory.

***

It had been a few hours since she used the prayer line.

The silence wasn’t unexpected given that a researcher was often busier after the potion was declared a success than they were before the results. Still, Severus could not help but wonder how she was faring.

He attempted to focus on the page. Yet a curious picture formed in his mind.

Hermione danced upon the clouds, kicking tufts of cumulus with her bare feet. She was glowing a bright yellow, almost as radiant as the sun. Her robe was the purest white, a perfect contrast to his black ones.

“Can you teach me how to make a butterfly?” She asked, her glow brightening.

“Certainly.” He flicked his wrist. “All you need to do is envision what you would like and it should create itself.”

A butterfly emerged, wafting into the air. It landed upon her shoulder. Her glow intensified.

“Now you should try.”

She flicked her wrist. Another butterfly emerged from the clouds. It floated into the air. The one Severus made followed after it. Together they wafted in the air.

“Have I told you that heaven is only pleasurable because of you?” She asked.

“I find it difficult to believe that I make anything more enjoyable," he answered.

“But you do. I could not envision being happy in heaven without you by my side.”

“Funny.” Severus gazed into her eyes. “Heaven would not be worth anything if you were not with me.”

She moved closer to him until their glows fused together. He pressed her against his chest. The peace which had filled him when Sirius embraced him returned, only it was much more powerful, more serene…

Sirius’ laughter jolted Severus back into reality.

“I’m sorry!” Sirius squeaked. “But you are hilarious when you turn pink!”

Severus snarled and turned red.

“I’ve never seen you so pink, but it’s so adorable.”

“Have you ever imagined that I could be falling ill?” Severus went white.

“Oh no, you don’t look sick at all. When you turn pink you look quite happy.” Sirius stopped giggling and cocked his head. “Huh, I never thought I’d see the day when you were happy.”

“That is because I am never happy around you," Severus growled.

“It doesn't mean at some point I won't make you happy..”

“I will be infinitely happier without you and your running commentary.”

“You were happy just now.” He slid closer to him. “Care to share what you were thinking about?”

Severus smirked and leaned closer to the other spirit. He lowered his voice. “I was thinking about how pleasant the afterlife will be without you.”

“Sure you were,” Sirius drawled.

Severus leaned back.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” Sirius replied. “Just keep your happiness to yourself.”

“Don’t you have a book to read?”

Before Sirius could answer, Hermione’s voice echoed in Severus’ mind.

“Hello. I’m sorry I haven’t said much since they made the initial discovery. I’ve had a chaotic day to say the least. You’ve been in my position, so you’d understand.”

“All too well,” Severus muttered.

“Anyway things are still working out. I will tell you all about when I see you tomorrow evening.”

His glow brightened.

“I miss you, but I know you’re close and watching over me. Still, I can’t wait to tell you this in person.”

“I cannot wait to see you either.”

“Good night and know that I’m thinking about you.”

“Good night,” Severus replied. “Know that I am thinking about you too.”

“You’re pink again!”

Severus rolled his eyes and turned around.

“You should be pink more often. It looks good on you.” Sirius chuckled.

“Go read,” Severus grumbled as he floated towards the sofa.

Sirius hummed. Although he opened his book, his mind was not focused upon philosophy. Instead, his thoughts centered on why thoughts of Hermione would make any spirit turn pink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my grandmother, who died two years ago today.
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	51. Chapter 51

Was it just Severus, or was Hermione glowing? There seemed to be a yellow aura around her, though Severus may be so used to interacting with spirits he was imagining things.

“It was amazing seeing everyone’s face light up at the end of the experiment!” Hermione plopped onto her sofa. “They looked so relieved and rejuvenated! It was like they were coming back to life!”

“I would imagine," his smile widened.

“It was such an awesome feeling to know I’ve helped them, that I restored them to health.” She raised her hands. “I’ve never experienced anything like it.”

“I am glad you got to experience the fulfillment of a dream.” Severus sat on the arm rest.

“It was more than that! It was like, like…”

“You were doing what you were meant to be doing all along.”

“Yes.” Her eyes glistened. “Exactly.”

Severus’ glow brightened.

“Oh don’t get me wrong.” Hermione sat up straighter. “I get fulfillment out of my bookstore. I love seeing a person’s face when I find the book they’ve been searching for, or when a child read their first words.”

He nodded.

“My bookstore does so much good for the world too. Through helping people to read and providing textbooks I am certain I am saving lives by creating a better educated populace.”

“Yet you have your own ideas which deserve to be developed and tested.”

“Yes,” her voice grew softer. “I knew I could save Dad with my own ideas. I just needed to implement them myself.”

“I am glad you are living up to your potential then.”

“I am but,” she exhaled. “I don’t know if I’d ever want to teach or research full time. The bookstore means so much to me, and to others.”

“Then do your research while you run the store.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

He frowned. “Of all the dunderheaded things you’ve ever said, that had to be the most idiotic.”

Hermione glared at him. “I thought you respected me.”

“I do, which is why I will not allow such an idiotic statement to go uncontested.”

“What is your great insight on my dilemma then?” She lowered her voice.

“You just created a heart strengthening potion while running a bookstore and helping a spirit reach heaven.”

“Wait, you’re leaving for heaven?” She paled.

“Not yet,” he admitted. “Apparently you haven’t achieved eudaimonia, or at least not the sense of it the Trinity feels you need to have.”

“Oh,” her lips curled up. “I guess you’ll have to stay longer.”

“How hellish.”

“Truly?”

“No.” He grinned. “This has been the most pleasant period of my time, whether on earth or in the hereafter.”

“Even if Sirius Black is involved?”

“Honestly,” Severus slid onto the cushion next to her. “Any annoyance he causes is outweighed by the serenity I feel with you.”

“I’ve been called a few things, but serene isn’t one of them.”

“I suppose there’s a first time for everything.” He focused on her parted lips.

“Indeed there is.” She tilted her head closer, only to realize she did not feel her forehead against his.

He gazed into her eyes. If he’d had a heart it would’ve been racing. If he was breathing his breath would have hitched. If he could reach for her he would press her against his chest, brush his lips against hers and show her exactly how happy she made him.

“Severus?” She whispered.

“Yes?” He drawled.

An owl pecked at the window.

She startled and fell through him. He scowled as his glow turned red. Why must every tender moment in his life be interrupted?

“Ugh.” Hermione trudged to the window.

Severus watched as she opened it and yanked the parchment from the owl’s leg. As he watched her, he couldn’t help but notice her shirt and sweats were black. She had no idea how appealing that color was on her.

“This can wait,” she grumbled before slamming the parchment onto a desk.

“Are you certain?”

“Yes.” She returned to her place at the sofa. “In fact I think it should wait.”

“Why?”

“Because.” Hermione sighed. “It’s complicated.”

“Mr. McLaggen hasn’t been giving you any trouble, has he?”

“No, this isn’t him. It’s someone else.”

“May I ask who?"

She swallowed.

"Would I know him?" He went white.

“You might know him, or you might not.”

“Who might I know?”

“His name is Dr. Marsh.”

“Dr. Henry Marsh?” Severus’ glow dimmed.

“Yes, he remembers you teaching him.”

“I remember him quite well too." He drawled. "He was a Hufflepuff who was too social for my liking.”

“He was quite social when I met him.”

“Indeed,” He scratched the sofa. “Did you speak to him outside of the conference?”

“We had a cup of coffee and had a pleasant conversation at a cafe.”

“How pleasant was it?” Severus’ glow was a light blue.

“It was pleasant enough.”

“Would you like to see him again?”

“As a friend most certainly. He was kind, funny, intelligent, and pleasant.”

“Then you should become involved with him.”

“Excuse me?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Hermione.” Severus’ glow darkened. “You deserve to be happy. If that requires a romantic interest then so be it.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to date him.”

“Perhaps you should.”

“Why?”

“You said yourself that he is kind, funny, intelligent, and pleasant. Those sound like excellent qualities in a partner.” Severus prayed he sounded persuasive, despite his heart screaming for him to draw closer to her again.

“Yes, I need more friends like that, but not every friend wants to be a romantic partner.”

“Are you sure he only wants friendship?”

“Why would he want more?” She drawled.

“Why would he not want more?” He argued. “You are an amazing witch who has much to offer any wizard who is lucky enough to win her heart. All you need to do is open yourself up and allow yourself to be loved.”

“Loved?” She exclaimed.

“Yes.” He bowed his head.

“I’m not looking for love.”

“Perhaps you should be.” He made eye contact with her.

“Why?”

“It could lead to happiness, and we both know it.”

“Either that or it could lead to headaches and heartaches.”

His gaze remained fixed on her.

“I don’t need to be in love ever again. Everything is perfect just as it is," she concluded.

“How? You spend half your time talking to a spirit and the other half dealing with dunderheaded customers.”

“You said it yourself though, I’m living my dreams finally.”

“Yes, but don't you want to brew more than one potion?”

“I do, which is why I need you.”

“You don’t need me for anything,” he replied.

“Yes, I do. I was only able to do my research because of you,” she answered.

“You would have done just fine without me…”

“I’m not sure of that.”

If he could've sighed, he would have. “You need to have some confidence in yourself.”

“No, you need to be honest about how I’m allocating my time.”

“You’re spending it with a spirit.”

“Who was able to research with me.”

He closed his mouth.

“I was able to run my business because you were helping me with the formula. What could’ve taken months was accomplished in a matter of days thanks to you.”

“I was more than happy to help.”

“I know, and I’m grateful. Still, you were helping me, not some man I met at a conference.”

“I won’t be here forever though.”

“I know.” A tear fell from her cheek. “But I wish you would be.”

“I wish I could be with you forever too,” he whispered.

She gulped.

“I don’t know how to describe how I feel when I’m here, but I’d imagine it’s as close to happiness as I will ever come. That being said.” He tried to hold her hand, but his slipped right through. “You need to plan for life without me. One step may be finding someone else to spend your time with.”

“Perhaps.”

“You will be happy.” Severus’ glow pulsated.

“Will I be happy without you?”

“I think you’ll be much happier without me.”

Her lower lip quivered.

“Trust me, you will be happier without me.”

"No, I won't be."

From the look in her eyes it was clear that she was sincere. If only they were in a different time under different circumstances. Perhaps then he'd have the courage to envelope her in his arms and whisper in her ear...

“When you leave, will I see you in the afterlife?” She choked.

“I promise to stand by the pearly gates the day you die." His mind returned to the moment. "I will be the first person you see.”

“You’d better keep that promise.”

“I have every intention of doing so.”

She relaxed.

“Please agree to go on a proper date with Dr. Marsh. He might make you happier than you could imagine.”

“Do you believe he will make me happy?”

“I,” he looked at the teardrop trickling down her cheek. “He’s a Hufflepuff so I’m biased against him.”

She giggled.

“He may be worth a try though. There are worse men out there.”

“Perhaps.” She wiped her face.

“Go write him. You’re worth loving.”

“I will.” She rose. “Once I do though, would you like to share some of your notes with me?”

“Only if you agree to look over some of the recipes I plan to write down.”

“Deal.” She strolled over to her desk.

Severus’ glow returned to its dark blue hue.

If Purgatory was about pain, he had just felt the full brunt of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how much I'm going to be able to update this week. I took on a volunteer position in addition to my current job, so I have a slew of meetings this week to get everything going. Still, I'll update when I can.
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	52. Chapter 52

Neither of them spoke about Hermione's Wednesday dinner date with Dr. Marsh.

Severus did not want to imagine Hermione riveted by a Hufflepuff’s latest experiment. His glow turned blue at the thought of their lips coming closer together, much as his and hers had yesterday. It was difficult enough to think of an afterlife without her. He did not need to think of her in the arms of another man while he sat alone on some cloud staring into the sun.

Hermione did not want to imagine herself struggling to focus on her Dr. Marsh’s story. Her stomach churned at the thought of his lips drawing closer to hers, much as hers had with Severus yesterday. It was difficult enough to think of spending her earthly life without her former potions professor. She did not want to imagine herself in the arms of a man for whom she felt only friendship.

She slid the chicken from the pan onto her plate of steaming rice and cashews. After pouring a glass of Chardonnay, she strolled to the kitchen table.

“Are you planning to give your father the potion soon?” Severus took his usual place across from her.

“I want to wait a week, just to make sure there are no unforeseen side effects,” she sat.

“If there were serious side effects I think they’d show up by now.”

“I know.”

“So where does this fear originate? Do you have no confidence in yourself?”

“I am much more confident than I’ve ever been in myself. Still, I’m giving this potion to my dad. If something were to happen to him…” She stared at her food.

“I suppose if your father was injured it would weigh on your conscience.”

“I would never forgive myself if my potion killed him before his heart problem did,” her voice was barley audible.

“There is no need to blame yourself. It would not be your fault if something happened,” he replied “You took all the necessary precautions to ensure its potency. It was ruled safe by a panel of potions experts. There is nothing further you can do.”

“I know.” She sprinkled soy sauce onto her plate. “I don’t know what I would do if something happened to my dad though.”

“You would find a way to survive.”

“Not if it was my fault he died.”

“He would not blame you for his death.” His voice was that of a professional speaking to a colleague.

“I know, but I don’t know how I could live with the guilt and the pain.” Her stomach knotted.

“There would be no reason to feel either.”

“I know, but I would.”

“If he were here he would tell you the same think. He would go so far as to tell you that he does not want you to commit suicide over his demise, should it happen.”

“No, he wouldn’t blame me, but how could I look at my mum?”

“You would find a way.” His tone was still neutral.

She glared at him.

“What?” His glow dimmed.

“Nothing, you’re just being very clinical about all of this.”

“What else do you want me to say?" Severus argued. "I am telling you how I view the situation.”

“I know you are but…” She took a bite.

“But what?”

“This chicken is good.” The smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“I am happy to hear it, but you’re changing the subject,” he replied. “What am I doing that’s upsetting you?”

She continued to eat.

“Don’t give me the silent treatment. Something is bothering you. Unless it gets resolved we’re going to spend all night dancing around each other until one of us hits a nerve and we are at each other’s throats.”

“Fine.” She put her fork down. “You are acting like my potions professor instead of my friend.”

"That shouldn't be surprising given that I was your potions professor.”

“Yes, but I like my friend more than I like my potions professor.”

“I am both though.”

“Yes, but you don’t need to act so much like a potions professor." Her frown deepened.

“How is telling you your father wouldn’t want you to kill yourself acting like a potions professor?”

“It’s not exactly what you’re saying, but how you’re saying it.” She took a sip of wine. “You sound almost callous with how emotionally detached you are from all of this.”

“I apologize if I’m coming off as callous, but I am only relaying facts." He emphasized the last word.

“This is about more than facts though. This is about my father.”

“What do you want me to say?” Severus’ glow turned red. “I told you that your potion is safe and that he would want you to thrive if something were to happen to him. How is that callous?”

“You’re speaking about him as if he’s just another patient,” she argued.

“I know he’s not another patient. He’s your father.”

“Then please speak about him as if he’s someone worth caring about and not another test subject.”

“How would I do that?”

“I don’t know.” Hermione shook her head and sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m being stupid about this whole thing, and I’m ruining our evening.”

“No,” Severus’ glow was a light blue. “You are perceptive as always.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“The reason I sound so clinical is because I cannot relate to your predicament," he admitted.

“How? You’ve been through these trials and tests. Didn’t you worry about the safety of your potions at all?”

“Of course I did, but” his voice softened. “I never tested my potion on anyone I loved.”

“I guess you didn’t need to,” she admitted. “Nobody you loved had any need of one of your potions.”

“Lily died before anything I created could’ve helped her. She was the only one for whom I felt any affection.”

“What about your parents?”

Severus turned towards the window. Outside the snow wafted in the air, accumulating on the foggy windowsill.

“I suppose if they were healthy you never needed to use a potion on them.”

“The issue isn’t administering a potion. The issue is I don’t know if I loved them.”

Hermione dropped her fork.

“That sounds so harsh.” He kept his eyes on the snow. “But looking back, I don’t know if I loved them.”

“Oh.”

“You must think I’m a monster.”

“No, I think I understand where you’re coming from.”

He turned to her, searching for any sign of deception. Instead he saw compassion in her eyes that he had never found elsewhere.

“I saw the memories,” she began. “I know that gives you no comfort, but I saw how your father treated you. Knowing what I do, I can understand why you feel as you did.”

“I only showed you the memories I could tolerate anyone seeing.”

She swallowed.

“I do not know your father, but seems quite kind and loving. He seems to be everything my father was not.”

She took a deep breath.

“When my father wasn’t drunk he was sleeping or screaming. He fought with my mother constantly. It, was not always simply verbal.”

She scooted closer to him.

“One of the reasons I spent so much time outside is because he was constantly berating me. He called me a ‘freak,’ a ‘poor excuse for a son,’ and ‘the worst mistake of my life.”

“Oh Merlin," she whispered.

“My mother rarely stood up for me. When I was younger she tried, but then he’d turn his wrath on her. After awhile she stopped trying.”

“Oh.”

“As I grew older, she began to ignore me, or look at me as if I was preventing her from having the life she always wanted. When my parents died in a car accident I was almost relieved. I could finally live on my own without interacting with them. I could take the house and enjoy the silence.” His glow was a dark blue. “I was twenty, and already heartless.”

“No, you were feeling a human emotion,” she replied.

“I didn’t even miss them. Even today, I don’t miss them. I didn’t even ask Dismas what happened to them. I asked him about Lily, Remus, and even James. Not once did it cross my mind to ask him about my parents.”

“Do you want to ask him about them now?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “Part of me doesn’t care what happened to them. Another part of me thinks I should care. Most of me is just afraid of his answer.”

“Why?”

“If they are in Purgatory they have yet to apologize to me for the injury they’ve caused. It seems that reconciliation cannot happen if they do not at least acknowledge they hurt me. If they were straight shots into heaven then the divine order is more unjust than I thought. If they are damned though.” His glow pulsated. “I am afraid of how I would react.”

“Let’s say they are in hell,” Hermione replied. “Let’s say they are in the pool of wrath clawing at each other to stay inside. What would you say to them?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you not know, or do you not want to tell me?”

“Both.”

“Okay.” She picked up her fork again.

Silence fell between them.

“I’d ask why they didn’t love me.” His voice was barley audible.

She set her fork down again.

“Why was I not good enough for them? What about me was so defective? Why was I not worthy of their love?” He asked.

“You were worthy of their love.”

“According to you, perhaps.”

“No, you were worthy of their love. They were just incapable of giving it, for whatever reason.” She moved her closer to him.

“So you say.”

“You are worthy of love.”

He did not look at her.

She pounded the table. His glow turned white.

“You are worthy of love. Don’t ever forget that," she replied.

“I will try not to.”

“No, you need to believe it. You are worth being loved. Never forget that.”

“You sound so bossy about it,” He noted.

“Well, I am a bossy know-it-all.” She winked.

“That you are.” He grinned as his glow returned to yellow.

“Hermione!”

Someone was pounding upon the door.

“I know you’re in there! Open the door!”

She groaned and put her head in her hands as Severus turned red.

Not this arse again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be able to post tomorrow due to some meetings. Still, thank you for sticking with me! It is very deeply appreciated!


	53. Chapter 53

Hermione trudged towards the door. Of all the times to interrupt…

“Call Potter.”

She turned around.

“Call Potter so he can take care of this nonsense once and for all," Severus' glow was stark white. 

“I can’t just do that.”

“Why? Cormac is harassing you." His glow turned red. "He needs to be stopped immediately. Potter is an auror whose job it is to arrest creeps such as him. Call Potter!”

“Cormac is ranked above him." Her voice was weak.

“So? You are his best friend. He would protect you from this in a heartbeat.”

“I know, but I don’t want him to risk his career.”

“You are worth risking his career.”

Her eyes betrayed her doubt.

“Hermione! Open the door!”

Sweat formed on her brow.

“Cormac is trespassing. Treat him like a lawbreaker and call Potter!” Severus was bordering on pleading with her.

“There’s no need to involve Harry,” she straightened her posture. “I can handle him on my own.”

“You shouldn’t have to handle anything.”

“It doesn't matter. I can do this.” She plodded ahead, bracing herself for whatever was about to occur.

“Oh Hermione, my little dove! Open the door!”

She flung open the door. “What in Merlin’s name do you want?”

“To congratulate you.” Cormac held out a bottle of Champagne. "I heard about your potion. Congratulations!"

“I’m congratulated. You may leave now,” She snarled.

“It isn’t enough just to say something. I thought you’d want to have dinner with a friend, namely me.”

“Actually I have lunch plans with Harry and Luna later in the week. Draco and Ginny plan on coming over at some point too. I am doing just fine celebrating with friends.”

“That’s fantastic.” Cormac moved closer to her. “Wouldn’t you like someone a little closer to you to celebrate with though?”

A child raced up her spine.

“Hermione, you shouldn’t isolate yourself as you have been. It isn’t healthy for you.” He ran his finger across her cheek.

She pushed him away and backed inside.

“Just one drink. Have one drink with me and see how amazing we could be together.”

“I know how amazing we are together.” She shuddered, though she didn’t know if it was from the cold or the situation. “We had such a memorable night at Slughorn’s Christmas party that I’ve spent most of my life trying to forget it.”

He frowned.

“You need to listen to me,” she hissed. “I am not interested in you. I never was, and I never will be. Leave me alone.”

“Why are you playing hard to get?” He stepped inside.

“I am not playing any games with you.”

“Are you now?” He leaned closer to her. “Why are you trembling like a leaf? Is it fear, or anticipation?”

“I’m not trembling.” Her voice was weak.

“If you are not in love then why are you flushed? Why are you struggling to speak?” He leaned in closer. “Why are you transfixed by my eyes?”

She shrunk.

“One drink Hermione,” he whispered. “One drink and I will show you just how excellent we could be together.”

She squeaked as he pinned her against the wall.

With the flick of his wrist the door closed. His lips were drawing closer to hers. Her brain was screaming for her to move, but her body had frozen. She let out a whine as she closed her eyes.

“What the hell?”

Hermione’s eyes opened.

Cormac shouted as he struggled against a purple pillow. On the other end, Severus appeared more like a fire than a man.

“What are you doing?” Cormac grabbed the pillow, only for Severus to yank it away from him and resume his assault.

She ran to the door and flung it open.

Cormac tore the pillow out of Severus’ hand. His eyes were ablaze as he turned to Hermione. “That was a mistake!”

“Ask me to touch the Champagne bottle,” Severus ordered.

Hermione’s heart raced as Cormac raised the bottle.

“Now, why don’t you start playing nice and…”

“Grab the Champagne bottle!” She shouted.

Before Cormac could utter another word, the Champagne bottle was ripped from his hands. His eyes grew as it came towards his head.

“Severus, don’t kill him!” She shouted.

Severus whacked him with the bottle, careful not to break it or knock Cormac out cold. Cormac blinked. Severus struck him again, this time harder. The trespasser screamed before rushing out the door.

“You’ll pay for this Granger! You’ll pay!”

“Get out of here before I call Harry and tell him about your unwanted advances!” She shouted.

He glowered at her before apparating away.

“Are you injured?” Severus’ form was much more humanoid.

“No.” She slammed shut the door. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine," his glow lessened. 

“Of course I’m fine. I’ve almost been forced into a kiss and watched you possibly throw away your chance at heaven. I’m peachy!”

“How could I have thrown away my chance at heaven?”

“You assaulted Cormac!”

“I defended you!”

“Dismas or the Trinity or whoever is running this program could’ve seen what just happened! They could have considered your assault a sin and given you more time, or pulled you from the program completely. How could you take such a stupid chance?”

"I was protecting you."

"The Trinity and Dismas may not see it that way! They could damn you!"

“If Sirius can stay out of hell despite hanging someone from a tree then I doubt anyone is going to damn me,” Severus replied.

“Do you think that, or do you just hope that’s what is going to happen?” Her voice was raised.

“If the Trinity is just at all they’ll have more problems with me sitting around and watching him assault you than they will with me throwing a pillow and a Champagne bottle.”

“They may not think I was in danger though. In theory I could have fought him off.”

“Regardless, it is doubtful you could have combatted the effects of the poison.”

“Poison?”

Severus took held the bottle in front of her and pointed to annulus. A few drops of a mother of pearl liquid oozed from under the cork.

“Amortentia?”

“Yes.”

“Could you smell it?” She asked.

“Of course not. I just got close enough to look at it when he was towering over you. Even if I hadn’t looked at it, creeps like him used to contact me during the summers and ask me to brew the potion for them, just so they could pull a stunt such as this.”

“Did you ever do it?”

“I made sure what I brewed had the same coloring but none of the potency every single time.”

"How?" Her expression softened.

"I can show you sometime," he replied. "It is much easier than many believe."

She exhaled.

“Looking back I should have refused to help them at all, but some of my clients were Death Eaters, and others I feared were just going to find someone else to brew it. They always paid well too. Still, I could have behaved more ethically,” he mused.

“No, you behaved quite well given the circumstances.”

“Perhaps.”

Silence fell between them.

“You were amazing,” she whispered.

“I was only behaving as any friend would,” he answered.

“Perhaps, but,” her voice cracked. “Very few people have stood up for me like that, especially if it could cost them so much.”

“Potter would if you’d let him.”

“I know, but getting him involved is complicated.”

“How? Cormac is trespassing on your property and was ready to sexually assault you. It seems like a simple case and an even simpler arrest.”

“It should be, but you know better than anyone how some people have the power and the position to get away with crimes such as this.”

“True,” Severus’ glow lessened.

Hermione strolled towards the kitchen. “I say we forget all about Cormac and enjoy our evening together.”

“Agreed” he floated behind her.

“Now, I was looking over your notes for the antidote to U-No-Poo. They are quite fascinating, but there’s some room for improvement.”

“You think you can improve my work?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I can.” She returned to her seat.

“You are the only person arrogant enough to say that to my face.”

“Or the only one confident enough to believe her ideas are just as good as yours.”

“Perhaps.” He sat across from her.

“Now,” she began. “I noticed how you used dandelions and dittany. It’s clever, but there needs to be something increasing their potency.”

“Like what?”

“I was toying with some ingredients. Perhaps dragon blood could work?”

“Intriguing,” Severus mused. “Very intriguing…”

***

How dare she turn me down?

Cormac swept the papers off his desk and slammed his fist into the wood. His face was contorted and scarlet.

How dare she not understand how perfect we are together? Instead of being grateful for my attention she assaulted me. She assaulted me in her own home!

He grabbed a parchment from one of his drawers and pulled out a quill. Two could play at this game. She would be in jail within the hour if he had his way!

Just as he was writing the letter he paused. Like it or not he had technically trespassed. Any memory from either of them would prove that. A judge may decide his actions warranted the attack. It could cause an unwanted scandal.

He pounded his fist into the desk again.

This isn’t over! Nobody turns down Cormac McLaggen and gets away with it! She will learn her lesson soon enough!

It was only a matter of finding the right opportunity to make her realize just how advantageous marrying him would actually be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where we discover what exactly happened to Severus' parents as well as Dumbledore. In keeping with the spirit of Dante, I have given them some of the punishments found in The Divine Comedy. Those who have read The Divine Comedy know the descriptions are often graphic and disturbing. I have not gone as in depth with the punishments as Dante did, but I felt it necessary to give a warning, especially since I'm unsure if I want to add tags for just one chapter. I will mark off where these issues are discussed so if you would like to skip it you may. It should be easy enough to follow along if you feel the need to skim over them.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me this evening.”

“It was clear you needed a break from Sirius and Hermione. A little outdoor scenery seemed to be in order.” Dismas sat on a purple chair made from clouds beside Severus. “I was more than happy to provide it.”

“I am grateful for the reprieve.” Severus stared at the sky. Instead of the usual sunny landscape, the full moon was the dominant orb in the sky. The stars glistened more brightly against the darkness than they had on earth.

The stars were not the only thing which captured his attention. Above the golden fence were countless flashes of lights dancing around each other. Some were bright yellow, others were burgundy, and some were a blinding white. At times, two lights would fuse into one flame, becoming twice as bright.

“I’ve always loved the night view of heaven,” Dismas began.

Severus turned to the saint. “I didn’t know there were nights. I thought the sun would always shine in heaven.”

“That was a misunderstanding mortals had about our realm. We change the scenery from time to time, especially if someone is visiting.”

“Like Dante?”

Dismas nodded.

“I remember him visiting when he could see there planets, but why at night?”

“We showed Dante the night view in part to protect his eyes from the daylight, but also because there’s a beauty to heaven that daylight doesn’t always capture.”

“So Dante did visit heaven, Purgatory, and hell?”

“Visit is a strong word, but the Trinity did provide him visions in order to spur people into considering how their actions were affecting their souls.”

“It seems that more people analyze the Divine Comedy in literature classes instead of taking the lessons to heart.”

“Those on earth never did know how to interpret the afterlife," Dismas would have sighed if he could. "At least I didn’t.”

“Why should they analyze the Divine Comedy anymore than they do? It comes off as allegorical fiction.”

“True, and we knew they wouldn’t believe everything in it. Still, if one understands the metaphors one will change their life. In the end, that was the goal of the work.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “How does Dante change anyone's life?”

“Okay.” He leaned over the armrest of the chair closer to Severus. “Think about wrath. The sin has the potential to suffocate one’s ability to love, and it often does. It can make it impossible to see the beauty in the world because the only thing one feels is the pain of the wrong done to them.”

“Hence the reason smoke suffocates one in Purgatory.”

Dismas snapped his fingers. “Exactly.”

“Considering that, I wish I’d read Dante more carefully." Severus scratched his chin. "I wouldn’t be as lost as to what is occurring as I am now.” 

“Perhaps the lessons from The Divine Comedy are too late for you to learn now, but you could consider directing Hermione towards the work. It may not be too late for her to change her life for the better.”

“Yes, Hermione could change.” Severus’ glow was a light blue.

“Are things going well between you and Hermione?” Dismas’ voice was lower.

“No, things are fine. In fact they are more than fine.” He turned to the sky.

“Then why aren’t you with her tonight?”

“She’s on a date.”

“A date?” Dismas’ glow brightened.

“Indeed.” He turned to the saint. “She is on a date with someone I believe is not the right one for her.”

“I see.”

“Sirius set them up.”

“And you allowed it to happen.”

“Against my better judgment," Severus muttered.

“But you’re working together! That’s progress.”

“It doesn’t feel like progress.”

“You’re making baby steps towards heaven though."

Severus scowled.

“Even you must admit that it could work. She could find a virtuous friend who knows her soul. This could draw her closer to eudaimonia ”

“Perhaps it will work. Perhaps I am being silly about the whole thing." Severus shook his head. "Perhaps my concerns are unfounded.”

“If you have a legitimate concern then that isn’t silly at all.”

“I do not know.” Severus slouched. “This man is kind, considerate, compassionate, and intellectual. On paper he is perfect for her.”

“Yet there is something about him which seems not right for her.”

“Yes, he lacks fire. Sure, shyness is attractive at first, but she needs someone who will ultimately take charge, who will spar with her in a playful manner, who will cherish her more than his own life.”

“You are afraid he will fall short of these requirements.”

“More or less.”

Dismas hummed.

Severus frowned. “Is this the part where you give me a speech about how I need to let Hermione go and make her own decisions?”

Dismas shrugged. “You said that’s what I should do, not me.”

“I do not want such a speech.”

“Then I will not give it.”

Severus leaned back in his chair, watching the heavenly souls fuse into each other and break apart.

“All I will say is that you need to allow Hermione some say in what makes her happy.”

“I’m already doing that.” Severus turned to him.

“Are you?”

“Of course I am.” Severus’ glow intensified.

“You are convinced that she and this mystery man will not be perfect for each other, despite never seeing them together.”

“Yes, but I know them. I taught both of them for years.”

“When you taught them they were only teenagers. Now they are two different people.”

“A Hufflepuff cannot change that much over the years.”

“Neither could a muggle-hating Slytherin or a murdering bandit, yet here we are.”

“Fair enough.” Severus’ glow dimmed.

Dismas gave him a small smile. “I know you are terrified of leaving Hermione, especially given that she is one of the few true friends you have ever made. Still, you have to let her decide what makes her happy. If this new date makes her happy, you must respect that and help her nurture that relationship.”

“I will try.”

“That’s all we can ask for at the moment.”

Silence fell between them as they gazed at the stars.

“There is something I should have asked you when I first came to Purgatory," Severus began.

Dismas turned to him. “Yes?”

Severus’ voice was barely louder than a whisper. “Whatever happened to my parents?”

“I was wondering when you’d ask that.” Dismas' glow softened.

“You must think me callous for not asking earlier.”

“No, you just weren’t ready, which given all that’s happened is understandable.”

“Now I am ready learn what happened to them.”

“Who would you like to hear about first?” Dismas crossed his legs.

“My mother.”

“The Trinity had difficulty placing her." The saint began. "Treating her son as she did was a grave offense. Given that she was so battered by your father, though, they could not bring themselves to damn her.”

“So she’s in Purgatory?”

“Yes,” Dismas answered. “She is currently on the fifth level reciting Psalm 119 while face down in front of a mural of the Nativity. For the next two centuries that is where she will remain.”

“Her punishment is to sing psalms and celebrate Christmas?” Severus pursed his lips.

“No, her punishment is to focus on how her love for her husband disordered the other things in her life, including the love she should’ve had for her son. In order to drive our point home, whenever she raises her head she will see the image of a mother loving her son in the proper way. It’s forcing her to meditate on her own lack of maternal instincts and how she could rectify that in heaven.”

“Is it working?”

“Only the Trinity knows what’s in her soul, so I could not tell you.”

* * *

“What about my father? How did he fare?”

“Not nearly as well," Dismas' glow flashed.

“So he’s in hell?”

“He is in the third circle of hell with the rest of the gluttons. They are wandering in muck battered by a perpetual ice storm.”

“What does this muck consist of?”

“The most vile version of that which they loved. For a food addict it is rotting food, and for a drunkard,” Dismas turned green. “Let’s just say we know what happens when someone has too much to drink.”

Severus’ glow matched the saint’s.

“He was also put very close to Cerberus. At times the dog makes sure he feels as much, if not more, pain than he inflicted on those he claimed to love.”

Severus’ glow was white.

“I know that must have been hard to hear.” Dismas leaned closer.

“It was honestly harder to hear than I thought it would be,” Severus admitted. “I thought I would be happy that he was suffering, that he understood the pain he was inflicting on me during my life. Now, I feel nothing.”

“Are you upset that nothing is going to be resolved between you two?”

“In a way, yes.”

Dismas scratched his chair.

“Before he died, I thought I would get a chance to tell him exactly how I felt. It would be a glorious moment where I shouted him down and he couldn’t answer back. Now, he’s being devoured by a dog wallowing in muck, and can only imagine what I would say to him.”

“That’s the horrendous nature of hell. Those souls never get a chance to reconcile with those they harmed.”

“Is there any way to go down and speak with him?”

"I wish there was," Dismas' glow was blue.

“I see.”

“If I could find a way to grant you resolution I would, but if a saved soul enters hell it will trigger the apocalypse.”

“We can’t have that now, can we?”

“The archangels are busy enough as it is." He gave him a small smirk. "They don’t need to deal with a demon invasion on top of everything else.”

There was a playful gleam in Severus' eyes. “May I ask how Dante got into hell then?”

“Let’s just say we agreed to give hell free ice in Judecca for the next five hundred years if they let him and Virgil explore. It was too good an offer to pass up.”

“So the Trinity isn’t above bribery?”

“No, they just made hell a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

“I suppose it all worked out for the best.”

“Indeed it did.”

Silence fell between them again.

“Is there anyone else you would like to inquire about?” Dismas asked.

“Yes,” Severus’ glow pulsated. “You mentioned earlier that Albus was in hell.”

Dismas squirmed.

“Where was he sent?”

“Dumbledore," Dismas folded his hands as he searched for the right words. "Dumbledore liked power, manipulation, and was self-righteous about the whole thing. He either didn’t step into conflicts when needed, or exacerbated situations by showing favoritism towards a group. He made a human sacrifice of an innocent boy. To add to his sins, he ordered someone to murder him, thus tarnishing that man's reputation. In short, he was a sower of discord.”

“What does that mean?”

“He is in the eighth circle of hell." 

“What is happening to him?" Severus didn't know if he wanted the answer, but felt he needed it.

“He is being dismembered and regenerating from his wounds. He spends his time running around in a circle and hiding from demons carrying swords.”

Severus’ glow was white as bleach.

“The only wound which will not heal is the hand he wore Gaunt’s ring. The demons want him to remember why he is in their care. The fact that it causes eternal pain only makes them happier.”

“Does nobody care that there was some good in him?” If Dismas wasn't a spirit, he would not have heard Severus' voice. 

“Any good he had was overshadowed by his love for self and power." There was more sympathy in Dismas' eyes than he expected.

“He was good to me though.”

“What good did he show you exactly? He let your attempted murderers escape unpunished, he used you as a pawn in a grand plan against one of his former students, and he set you up as a murderer.”

“Perhaps but…” Severus' glow flickered. "But I thought he cared."

"I know you did."

"But he didn't care, did he?"

"If Metatron is to be believed, if he cared at all for anyone, it was so twisted you wouldn't recognize it as affection."

Severus' glow was a dark blue.

"But Metatron is a prosecutor trained to enforce the Trinity's justice, so he is not an unbiased or all-knowing party." 

"So he could be wrong?"

“Perhaps, but the fact remains that Dumbledore chose to live his life as he did. From what I understand he spent more time justifying himself at the trial than showing any repentance. Now he understands the pain he caused. In that way, justice was done.”

“What if I forgive him? Could he be free then?” Severus' voice was desperate.

“No, he can only be free if he cries out for the Trinity to save him.”

“Does he know that?” Severus' eyes were wide.

“Yes, we tell every soul who goes to hell that." Dismas replied. "Still, he is convinced of his own righteousness. The rumor is that even today, he is yelling at the demons, arguing with them that he should not be in hell. Until he releases his pride, he will remain where he is.”

Severus’ glow dimmed.

* * *

“Enough about souls in hell,” Dismas' glow was yellow. “You came here for a break from Sirius, not to dwell on unpleasantries.”

“True," Severus' glow returned to its normal hue.

“How much about constellations do you know?”

“I know a few of them.”

“Would you like me to point some of them out?”

“Certainly,” Severus’ glow returned to its normal hue.

“Okay,” Dismas began. “The amazing thing about heaven is that you can see all the constellations at once. All you need to do is change your perspective to see them all.”

“Okay.”

“Now,” Dismas pointed to the sky. “You know the big dipper, right?”

“I do.” Severus tilted his head upwards.

“Good. Now right beside it is the ursa minor…”

Severus allowed himself to smile as he took in Dismas' words. If he was lucky, then within a few centuries, he would show Hermione all these constellations and enjoy this beauty with her.


	55. Chapter 55

Should I have another glass of wine?

Hermione sipped the last drops of Malbec from the bottom of her glass. She glanced across the table at her companion. Dr. Marsh’s eyes were agleam, as he laughed at his own joke. She gave him a grin, though her mind was wandering to a spirit dressed in a black robe…

“Anyway I’m glad you took me somewhere muggle and off the beaten path.” He sighed. “The chicken piccata here is amazing.”

“I’ll have to try it next time.” She glanced down at her half eaten eggplant parmesan. Delicious, but could Severus have shown her how to make it just as delicious, or perhaps better?

Only the mumbled sounds of the waiters and other diners could be heard.

“There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

Hermione startled.

“You don’t need to spare me.” Dr. Marsh gave her a sad smile. “It’s written all over your face. Your mind keeps wandering to him.”

“Oh no, no.” She sat up straighter. “There’s nobody else.”

“There’s no reason to lie to me. Your mind keeps wandering. From that dreamy look in your eyes, it has to be another man.”

“Trust me, there’s nobody. I don’t know what you’ve read in the tabloids…”

“I haven’t read anything. I just know when someone is distracted and dwelling on someone else.”

She bowed her head. Was it that obvious?

“Really, it’s fine. I understand. You wanted to test the dating scene, perhaps to make him jealous or to get his attention, but it isn’t working." He sighed. "I get it.”

“There isn’t anyone else, I swear, but,” she swallowed. “My life is complicated right now.”

“In other words, he’s unavailable so you’re trying to move on.”

“There’s nobody else.”

“So he’s unavailable and you’re in denial, so you went on a date with another man to forget him.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. Getting more wine here may not be an option, but she should open a bottle once she got home. If she was lucky, Severus would be waiting in her kitchen. He would make a few sarcastic comments, make observations about the strawberry ice cream she was eating, and the evening would be salvaged.

There was a pang in her chest when she remember that Severus was spending the night in Purgatory.

“That’s what I thought.”

She blinked. What did Dr. Marsh think?

“Don’t worry about it, I understand. If I’m being honest,” Dr. Marsh took a shaky breath.“I’m in a similar predicament.”

“Oh? Who is she?” Hermione's attention was now fully on him.

“She’s an English professor who doesn’t know I exist.”

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“What would I say?”

“Hello would be a good place to start," she suggested.

“I greet her sometimes, and if I’m lucky we make small talk. When I think about asking her out, though, I honestly want to vomit because I’m so nervous.”

“You could always take an anti-nausea potion beforehand.”

He chuckled. “Perhaps.

“Seriously, just muster some courage and talk to her.”

“No, there must be someone else she’s interested in.”

“Is she wearing a ring?” Hermione asked. Since when did this date become about giving dating advice?

“No.”

“Are there rumors around the university that she’s seeing someone?”

“No.”

“Then try asking her for coffee." She relaxed. "I mean, you asked me out, so you’re capable of doing it.”

“I know, but you’re different. I was interested in getting to know you, but it wouldn’t have crushed my world if you said no to going out with me.” He blushed.

“Perhaps it would crush her world if she didn’t know someone as wonderful as you.”

“Do you really think that?”

“I know that.” She winked.

“Thanks.” He grinned.

The patrons at the table to the right of them strolled out, arms linked together. 

“I’m sorry to lay all of this on you. I hope we can still be friends,” Dr. Marsh began.

“I’d love to be your frend.” She took his hand.

“I would too.” He released the breath he’d been holding. “I’m so glad you aren’t too hurt by what I’ve said. I was interested in you, but it became clear after the appetizer that I didn’t feel as strongly about you as I did her.”

“I’m not hurt at all.” She squeezed his hand. “Although in the future you shouldn’t settle for someone else. If you love someone, go after them.”

“I could say the same to you.” He released her hand.

She frowned.

“Look, I don’t need details.” He leaned back in his chair. “All I’ll say is that you are an amazing woman and I’m lucky to be your friend. Whoever this unavailable man is would be a fool not to make himself available for you.”

“He’s available enough most days actually,” she replied.

“Then what’s stopping you from pursuing him?”

“We’re from different places.”

“Oh a foreign affair.”

“A little, but he’s going home soon. Nothing can develop between us.”

“Why can’t you visit him?” He folded his hands.

“It would be difficult to say the least.”

“Fine, he can’t leave, but if he knew how you felt about him, would he stay?”

“I don’t know.” Hermione exhaled. “He wants to return home because it will bring him peace. He will be better off where he goes, but I’d miss him terribly.”

“Have you told him this?”

“No, and I don’t intend to.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to influence his decision in any way.”

“But you’d like to.”

Her eyes told him all he needed to know

“I hope you get the courage to speak with him about leaving, and that he decides to stay for you. You would both be happier together than apart."

“I would be anyway,” she admitted.

At the table to their right, Sirius frowned. So much for Dr. Marsh being her true love. Damn. He seemed so perfect for her too.

Still, the night wasn’t a complete loss. She had someone in mind. Yet who could he be?

Sirius reviewed what he knew. This man was leaving town soon, emotionally unavailable, yet must have enough intelligence to capture her interest…

Sirius turned white.

No way in Purgatory!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	56. Chapter 56

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Severus rolled his eyes. He didn't have the patience to deal with Sirius' histrionics.

“I had her set up with the perfect man! They were intellectually compatible, could’ve created brilliant potions, laughed at each others jokes! Everything was perfect until…”

Severus folded his arms over his chest.

“Until you destroyed it all!”

“What did I do exactly?” Severus’ expression was that of pure boredom.

“You came in and distracted Hermione from him! She was so busy paying attention to you that she didn’t even notice him.”

“How could she have focused on me when I was outside stargazing at the pearly gates?”

“You did something to seduce her before she left!”

“Did she ever give any indication of what I did?” Severus smirked.

“I don’t know, but all she could talk about was how she was interested in-or should I say denying she was interested in-this unavailable man who was going back home. She believed it was a reason not to embark on a relationship with him.”

“She never told me about him.” Severus’ glow dimmed.

“Oh don’t give me that. I have no patience for your sarcasm.”

“I’m not being sarcastic.” He bowed his head. “I’m just surprised she never mentioned anyone like that to me.”

“Of course she didn’t.” Sirius pointed to him. “Because you are him!”

"Excuse me?" He raised his head.

"You are that man! You're distracting her and making her like you more than other end."

"So this is all my fault again?"

"Yes!"

“Oh...I know what happened.” Severus’ glow brightened.

“What?”

“This plan blew up in your face so you need a scapegoat. That is why you are yelling all this nonsense at me.”

“My plan was brilliant, but you ruined it.”

Severus frowned as his glow became red. “Must you blame me for all your blunders?”

“Only when they’re completely your fault," Sirius retorted.

“I do not know who Hermione was referring to or what she said at dinner, but I assure you she does not want any kind of relationship with me.”

“What makes you so sure of that?”

“Because she is an intelligent woman who knows better than to get involved with the likes of me.”

“Oh because you’re so much better than her and she is smart enough to know it.”

“No, because she can do so much better than me, and she is smart enough to know it," Severus argued.

“What the hell is wrong with me?”

Luna sat on the chair across from Hermione’s desk, a tender hand over her swollen stomach. If she was patient Hermione would stop with her histrionics and tell Luna what had transpired last night.

“On paper he was the perfect man! He was stable, attentive, and to a certain degree funny!”

“He sounds like a prince.”

“I wouldn’t say a prince.” Hermione twisted her lower lip.

“You’re right, he isn’t dark enough to be your prince," Luna answered.

“Dark enough?” Hermione raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think any prince of mine would dark?”

“I think you know exactly what I mean,” Luna replied. “You know a dark prince, and find him far more interesting than whoever this date was.”

Hermione huffed.

“Being perfect on paper is overrated anyway. Plenty of people are perfect together on paper, but they aren’t meant for each other.”

“True, he is in love with an English professor, so it was never meant to be.”

“Then you should be happy he’s focusing on her now instead of distracting himself with you until he gets the courage to go after what he wants.” The baby kicked within her.

“I am happy for him, I truly am but,” Hermione ran her fingers through her hair. “Ugh, I don’t understand! I have a good man in front of me and I ignore him in favor of…”

Luna blinked.

“Oh it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.”

“I think there’s something defective about me. It isn’t good enough for me to have a nice man. He needs to be dark, brooding, brilliant, yet underneath all that snark have a tender heart.”

“In other words.” Luna’s eyes glistened. “You want Severus Snape.”

“Suddenly you aren’t good enough for someone,” Sirius replied. “Sure, I can believe that.”

Severus picked up a book and put it in front of him. Even if he’d read _The Timeaus_ several times, it was worth rereading if it got Sirius to grow bored with this exercise and return to earth.

“Hey.” Sirius took the book and threw it across the room.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because I’m trying to have a conversation with you, and you’re ignoring me."

“Fine, but you shouldn’t treat a book so callously.”

“Only you and Hermione would care how a book is treated.” Sirius would've grunted if he could.

“If you want your reading materials to last then I’d suggest you learn to start appreciating them too.” Severus stormed over towards it.

“Why do you think Hermione can do better than you?”

“You have listed my inadequacies more times than either of us can count. Why do you need me to go over them again?”

“Because I don’t want to hear what you think I already know. I want to know why of all the reasons for why Hermione shouldn’t be in a relationship with you, you say that she’s smart enough not to get involved. Why?”

“To begin, I am a spirit and she is a mortal. She is intelligent to grasp the implications of our situation. I will ascend to heaven and she will move onto someone else.” His glow turned blue.

“There you go again, getting depressed at the thought of Hermione with another man," Sirius noted. 

“Sirius, I swear this better have a point.” Severus’ glow was red.

“Okay fine, you have feelings,” Sirius locked eyes with him. “There’s a way out of this.”

“Yes, you can work on this imaginary problem, preferably somewhere in Antarctica where I don’t need to deal with you.”

“You just need to sit her down and explain that you are going to heaven in the very near future unless…”

Severus made his way back to the couch.

Sirius’ eyes grew as his glow intensified. “It all makes sense. The pink glow, the way you turn blue at the thought of her dating, not wanting to go to heaven anymore.”

“Please stop yammering on about nothing.”

“You’re in love with Hermione Granger!”

“I’m in love with Severus Snape?”

“I’m in love with Hermione Granger?”

“No, no.” Hermione shook her head as if it would erase Luna’s words. “I do not love Severus.”

“Why not?”

“To begin with, he’s a spirit.”

“So? My mum’s a spirit and I love her.”

“Yes, but you don’t want to be with her.” Hermione’s voice softened. “At least not the way I want to be with Severus.”

“No, I can’t be with her physically, but you have that chance. Don’t throw it away," Luna replied.

“I’m not throwing anything away. I’m just saying that it isn’t clear how this will all work.”

“You’ll find a way to make it work.”

“How?”

Luna shrugged.

“Look Luna we...” Hermione frowned. “No, I’m not playing this game with you. I’m not in love with Severus.”

“What about him precludes you from falling in love with him other than the minor issue of him being a spirit?”

“It isn’t a minor issue.”

“That’s debatable.”

“Fine, we’ll move onto a less minor issue, one even you can’t deny,” Hermione replied. “I was once Severus’ student. Surely he’s considered me a know-it-all more than a few times.”

“Why are you lying?”

“Who said I’m lying?”

“If he considered you a know-it-all then he wouldn’t come to you night after night and help you with this potion.”

“Fine, he doesn’t treat me like a know-it-all. In fact, he’s treated me like I’m the most intelligent person he’s ever met, even when I’m being a dunderhead.” She sighed.

“A dunderhead like you’re being right now?” Luna gave her a half smile.

“No, I’m being very intelligent,” Hermione argued. “Severus can do better than me, and he knows it.”

“How?”

“In heaven there are hundreds of angels and millions of souls. One of them must be able to capture his interest. When he meets her I’ll be a distant memory.”

“He already has met a soul that captures his interest.” Luna smiled. “And she’s right here on earth.”

“No, no.” Severus shook his head, as if it would erase Sirius’ words. “I do not love Hermione.”

“Why not?”

“She’s a mortal.”

“True, that is a difficulty.”

“A difficulty?” Severus sat on the couch. “I would say that fact makes any love between us an impossibility.”

“Still the Trinity is about love, and people do love spirits from afar.” Sirius scratched his chin. “With a little help we could make this work.”

“You cannot seriously be considering the logistics of a relationship between Hermione and me.”

“No, I’m just trying to see how this is even possible," Sirius mused.

“It’s not, so drop it.”

“Other than the spirit thing, why wouldn’t it work?”

“You’re really going to do this with me.”

“Yes,” Sirius replied. “Why don’t you think you belong with Hermione?”

“To begin with, I was her professor.”

“Do you care about that?”

“Of course not, but Hermione might.”

“Has she indicated that she cares?”

“No,” Severus’ glow pulsated. “In fact, she feels as if I am an equal. She has never held my questionable teaching methods against me.”

“What other reason would she have not to love you?” Sirius asked.

“I am older than her.”

“If we weren’t spirits I would care about that,” Sirius replied. “Yet once you face down eternity you realize age really is only a number.”

“She is a mortal, and must have a harem of men lusting after her.”

“Which is why she’s spending her evenings with you.”

Severus hummed.

“She already has a man who captures her interest, and he’s right here in Purgatory.”

“I think you should pursue a relationship with Severus.”

“A relationship?” Hermione didn’t mean to be so loud, but this conversation was becoming too surreal.

“Sure. Just tell him how you feel and see where things go from there.”

“He could go to hell for seducing a mortal.”

“Did he tell you that, or do you just suspect that?”

She bit her lower lip.

“From what I understand, a saved soul cannot be damned, so he should have no problem getting into heaven, assuming he hasn’t already found it with you," Luna replied.

“My house is far from heaven.”

“True, but it’s as close as he’s ever gotten to it.”

“This conversation is ridiculous.”

“Only because you’re being ridiculous.”

“I am not in love with Severus Snape, and more importantly, he is not in love with me.”

“Okay.” Luna removed her hands from her stomach and locked eyes with Hermione. “Just answer this.”

“What?”

“If Severus wasn’t a spirit and you knew he felt the same way about you as you do him, would you want a relationship with him?”

“This is a bloody mess,” Sirius moaned.

“The only mess is the one you’ve created in your head,” Severus snapped.

“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now.”

“You are supposed to roam the earth until you think of a scheme to reduce your Purgatory time. I will sit here reading.”

“Or will you spend your time thinking about Hermione?”

Severus furrowed his eyebrows.

“The first thing we should do is get your feelings sorted out.”

“There’s nothing to sort out.”

“If you weren’t turning pink and blue all the time I’d agree.”

Severus picked up another book.

“Fine, go back to ignoring me, but first answer this.”

“What?”

“If Hermione wasn’t a mortal and you knew she felt the same way about you as you do her, would you want a relationship with her?”

Hermione’s eyes betrayed her “yes.”

Severus’ eyes betrayed his “yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	57. Chapter 57

Neither Hermione nor Severus wanted to discuss last night.

It wasn’t that she didn’t have things she wanted to say to him. It was ridiculous that was that Dr. Marsh was in love with someone else. Yet if she mentioned that she would be tempted to reveal that she was finding herself in a similar predicament? If she explained everything, would he be repulsed by her growing attachment to him? Would he find her sentiments refreshing, or would he be infuriated that she could interfere with his mission? Would he decide a century in Purgatory was better than dealing with a lovestruck former student?

Lovestruck?

Hermione’s heart sank as she took her bowl of chicken soup over to the table.

Was Luna right in that she was falling for Severus?

Severus took his place across from her, unsure of his next move. So far he’d kept the conversation focused upon making soup, not on her date. He didn’t want to tell her how pleased he was that Sirius told him things had not gone as well as he’d hoped. If he mentioned his flicker of joy at knowing she would not be in another man’s arms, would she be repulsed? Would she find the bond they’d been forming comforting, or would she be nauseous at the thought of a former professor feeling any type of deep affection for her? Would she believe him if he said that he would rather be in Purgatory with her than in heaven alone?

Heaven? His glow dimmed as he watched her take her first bite of soup. When did heaven become anything less than his main goal?

Was Sirius right that he was falling for Hermione?

“This soup is delicious.”

He startled as he turned white.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, you did nothing wrong.” His glow returned to its normal hue. “I was musing over something.”

“Care to share?”

“Not particularly.”

She ate in silence while he glanced at Crookshanks picking at the kibble in his cat bowl.

“Are things getting worse for you in Purgatory?” Hermione asked.

He turned to her.

“I know it must be difficult spending so much time with Sirius. If you need someone to talk to, I’m around.”

“Things are going just fine in the afterlife, but I appreciate your concern.”

“Good,” She took another spoonful of soup. “Still if I’m doing something wrong please tell me. I want to help you in any way I can. I don’t want to be the reason you’re kicked out of the program.”

“There is no need to fret about me staying in the program. For the foreseeable future, I am your spiritual friend.”

She relaxed.

“That being said, I do have one question,” he began.“One which admittedly I find difficult to ask.”

“What?”

His glow dimmed. “How was your dinner with Dr. Marsh last night?”

“Oh that." She set down her spoon. "I suppose I haven’t said much about it, have I?”

“If I didn’t have such a good memory I would have forgotten completely that you were on it.”

“I haven’t wanted to talk about it, mostly because it’s a little embarrassing.”

“Was it a disaster?”

“Not exactly,” She swallowed. “But we decided we were better off as friends.”

He kept his mouth closed..

“Don’t get me wrong he’s a sweet man, and I’m lucky to be his friend. Any woman would be lucky to have him as a partner.”

“Except you apparently.”

“Yes.” She picked up her spoon. “It’s fine though. I cannot see it developing into anything more. In fact, he’s in love with a fellow English professor.”

"An English Professor?" He raised an eyebrow.

She nodded. "He wanted me to see if he could get his mind off of her. Apparently I am a poor substitute."

"He's a dunderhead if he thought any woman could compare to you."

"He has his tastes," she mumbled the next words, "And I have mine."

“You do not seem disappointed.”

“There’s nothing to be disappointed about. We were never meant to be. I’m just happy to know that now instead of discovering it a year from now.”

“At least this way you have not wasted much time.”

“Exactly.” She took another bite. “One dinner is much better than five years wasted on a dead end relationship.”

“Indeed.” He watched the steam waft from the soup. The recipe he’d used was one of the few things his mother had taught him. When he was eight, they had fixed it together while his father was on a weekend long drinking binge. For a moment he felt as if he was her son, as if she loved him on some level.

“I hope your mission is not set too far back by me not finding true love.”

“It wasn’t a problem at all. In fact I’m quite fortunate you realized how ill-suited you were for him.” He returned his attention to her. “It would have been a great setback if you stayed in a relationship which was going nowhere for years, causing you to become increasingly unhappy. I would have needed to remain with you and try to determine where things were going awry.”

“Would it be so terrible if you remained with me?” Her voice was soft.

“No,” his glow was a warm shade of yellow. “It would not have been terrible at all. In fact, it makes me quite happy to be sharing my time with you.”

She gave him a small grin.

“Still, I want you to be happy, even if that means I am no longer by your side.”

“What if you leaving won’t make me happy at all?”

He titled his head. “How could my presence make you happy?”

“Your presence in my life has been one of the few things which has gone right in my life.”

“You are the first person to say that.”

“It’s the truth though." She dabbed her mouth with her napkin. "I’ve been stuck in a rut for years, either hating half the world or burying myself in work. Then you come along, and I have someone to talk to in the evenings, someone who can understand complex academic theories, someone to make me laugh even when he’s being a snarky arse.”

Severus chuckled as his glow became pink.

“The only thing I could think of during that date was how Dr. Marsh could never be the person you are.”

“I would hope he is not like me. If he was me he would be very miserable indeed.”

“If he had the experiences you did then he would be miserable, but if he had your wit and unique charm he would be very blessed indeed.”

“Charm?” He cocked his head.

“Yes, when you are relaxed you have a way of making recipes and theories come alive. There is a fire in your eyes I haven’t seen in anyone else’s.”

“That is a glow, not a facial expression.”

“No, it’s more than your glow. When you’re interested in something your expression is different from anything else I’ve seen.”

“You must not have been around many ambitious people then.”

“I’ve been around plenty of ambitious people, but very few of them wanted to make a meaningful impact in the world, not like you do.”

“So now I’m selfless?”

“Around me, yes.”

His glow was yellow once more.

“Your glow only enhances the effect of your expressions.”

“I suppose I do appear more handsome thanks to the glow." He smirked. "I suppose that’s fortunate for me. The Trinity knows I’ve almost forgotten what I look like without it.”

“It isn’t just that,” Hermione continued. “Thanks to the glow I can discern your emotions more easily. I know where I stand with you. It’s a relief because I feel we can honestly communicate.”

“I suppose the inability to occlude would make it easier to discern my mood.”

“It makes it much easier. When I was a student you were so closed off, more sothan anyone I’ve ever met. Now that you’re free to be yourself. Now that you aren’t spying you’re relaxed. It’s easier to form a relationship with you.”

“That is in part because I have no interest in pushing you away.”

“I am grateful for that.”

“There is no reason to turn you away. You are intelligent, witty, deserve so much better than you’ve received in life, yet around me you are not embittered. I have never met anyone like you, and I am privileged to know you.” His glow was pink.

She giggled. “I love it when your glow is pink. It’s so cute.”

He frowned as his glow returned to its regular hue. “If you believe I am cute then I would strongly recommend getting your eyes checked.”

“They work just fine.”

“I beg to differ.”

She laughed as she placed her hand over his.

He gazed into her eyes. “Would you like me to touch you?”

“I didn’t think you could.”

“They said I could touch anything you wanted me to. I would assumed that includes you.” He removed his hand from under hers.

“I wish you could touch me,” she whispered.

He put his hands over hers.

Hermione’s pupils dilated. She could not feel skin upon her hands, but she could feel an overwhelming peace. Pure love radiated from her hand into the rest of her body. The closest thing she could compare it to was a deep kiss, but that was inadequate. Whatever this was touched not only her body, but her soul.

Severus’ glow intensified. He had never felt such peace and love in his life. It inundated his entire existence. It was as if their souls were fusing together, though it was more powerful than either of them could have imagined.

“Severus.” She breathed.

His mind returned to the present, the present where his goal was to reach heaven, not seduce the woman before him.

He slipped his hand away from hers. “I uh, did not know that would occur.”

“I, I didn’t either.” Her eyes glistened. “What was that?”

“Something which should not happen again.”

“What?” The dreaminess was gone from her expression.

“Hermione, I don’t know what this is, but it cannot and should not continue.”

“What exactly do you think is happening between us?”

“Something which should not be allowed to continue.”

“Why not?”

“Because this mission is only going to last for so long. Eventually the Trinity will recall me to the afterlife, and where will you be then?”

“Wishing I was with you.”

“Exactly.”

“No.” She shook her head. “That’s going to happen regardless of what you do. I am going to want you with me whether you are on earth or heaven.”

He was bleach white.

“Don’t you understand? I don’t know what we feel towards each other, but I know it’s the deepest, most powerful sensation I’ve ever felt. You felt it too!” She argued.

“I did, and the sensation was deep on my end as well, yet…”

She slumped. “You need to be in heaven.”

“I don’t know,” his glow was pulsing. “I don’t know what I feel about any of this anymore.”

“I don’t either,” she argued. “All I know is I never want it to end.”

“Never is a long time.”

“I know, but,” she exhaled. “I’m being selfish in wanting you by my side, aren’t I?”

“No, you aren’t, because I want the same thing. I just don’t know what’s possible, nor do I understand what has just happened.”

“I don’t either, but I want it to happen again.”

“It can’t happen again.”

“Why?”

“Because.” He stood. “I need to leave.”

“That’s it? We’ve just had the most powerful experience of our existence and you’re going to leave?” She snapped.

“I cannot allow this to become more complicated than it is.”

“How is leaving going to help?”

“It will allow me to know more.”

“How?”

“I’m going to talk to someone. Yes, I will speak with someone about what just occurred.”

She closed her mouth.

“I will return tomorrow night, I promise. Right now, I need to make some inquiries.”

“Okay.” She mouthed.

With that, he disappeared from sight.

Hermione screamed, sending Crookshanks running into the living room.

Why was she an expert at ruining any relationship she had with someone she had come to love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a nice weekend!
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	58. Chapter 58

“Where’s Dismas?”

Sirius glanced up from _Nicomachean Ethics_ and frowned. Why did Severus always interrupt the good parts?

Severus locked eyes with him. “Where is Dismas?”

“I don’t know.” Sirius’ glow was dull red. “Why do you need to see him?”

“You’d love to know why, wouldn’t you?” Severus growled

“Actually I would.” Sirius set the book down.

“You’d just love to throw my latest predicament in my face, wouldn’t you?”

“Maybe, if I knew what it was.”

“I’d tell you but,” Severus scanned the room for Dismas. “It does not concern you.”

“The hell it doesn’t.” Sirius stood. “If our mission is in jeopardy then I want to know what’s happening so I can fix it, or at least explain to St. Petehow none of it is my fault.”

“This is your fault,” Severus hissed as his glow turned bright red. “This is all of your fault.”

“How is it my fault?” Sirius’ voice lacked its usual sarcasm. “What am I being accused of now?”

“Causing discord by bringing up the notion of love.”

“Love?”

“Yes, if you hadn’t started with this soulmate business and demanding that we find Hermione’s true love I wouldn’t be in this predicament!”

“In what predicament?”

“I can’t explain it to you." Severus snapped. "I just need to see Dismas!”

“He obviously isn’t coming right now, so you can either pace around the room and yell or you can let me help you with whatever is happening." Sirius approached the other spirit.

“I don’t need your help." Severus' voice was low.

“Obviously you do or else you wouldn’t be so upset.”

“I need help, but not your help.”

“Considering that we’re in this program together…”

“A fact I regret every day.”

“Listen,” Sirius shook his head. “It’s obvious there’s a problem we need to work through. I can stop the sarcasm for a few minutes if you can.”

“Is that even possible for you?” 

“I can try.”

Severus’ glow remained red.

“This problem wouldn’t have anything to do with our conversation earlier, would it?” Sirius continued.

Severus turned white.

“That’s what I thought.”

“You can think?”

“Of course I can! I…” he held up his hand. “Okay, you are obviously very distressed at the realization that you’re in love with Hermione. You’re freaking out a little bit. I can’t say I can relate to your problem, but I can try to sympathize.”

“How can you not relate to being in love?”

“I spent half my adult life in prison, and the other having refusing to be tied down. The closest I ever got to falling in love was Robin.”

“Robin Smythe, the Ravenclaw two years ahead of us?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter,” Sirius replied. “This is about you and your inability to identify and regulate your emotions.”

“I’m fine discussing any regrets you have surrounding Robin if you need a listening ear.” Severus' lips twitched upwards.

“Nice try." Sirius smirked. "I don't have any regrets. Robin didn’t swing like I did so it was over before it began. We left as friends. Now back to the problem at hand.”

Severus scowled.

“What made you finally realize you were in love?” Sirius asked. “Did you turn pink one too many times? Did she say something that made you laugh? What was it?”

“I touched her.” His voice was soft.

“You did what?” Sirius cocked his head.

“I told you, I touched her.”

“I know, but I didn’t think spirits could touch objects.”

“No but I can touch what she wants me to touch,” Severus explained. “She said she wanted me to touch her, so I told her just to say the words.”

“So you touched her?”

Severus slumped onto the couch.

“What did it feel like?” Sirius asked, his glow a warm yellow.

"Why do you care?"

“Curiosity."

Severus stared at him.

"I’ve almost forgotten what it is like to touch anything. What did her touch feel like?” 

“I didn’t feel her skin, but I could touch her soul.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.” Severus was white again. “But I need to speak with Dismas about it.”

“He isn’t here, so I’ll have to do.”

“Oh joy.” Severus groaned.

“I thought we agreed on no sarcasm for the next few minutes.”

“You decided to do that. I agreed to nothing.”

“Fine whatever.” Sirius continued. “What did touching her soul feel like?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Because I’ve never touched a mortal’s soul given that I can’t touch anything.” Sirius’ voice was soft. “I’d really like to know what it feels like.”

“It was overwhelming.” Severus’ glow became a light pink. “Our connection was stronger than anything I could have imagined. I was at peace, overflowing with affection for her.”

“Had you ever felt that way before?”

“No.” He whispered. “I’d never felt any kind of peace or affection, at least nothing that deep. I never wanted it to end.”

“Then why did you let her go?”

“Were you listening to nothing I said earlier? I am a spirit and she is a mortal.”

“Is she just a mortal?”

Severus bit back the word, “dunderhead.”

“I’ve actually thought about your form and hers.” Sirius sat beside him. “The truth is far simpler than anyone realizes. You are a current spirit, and she is a future spirit. Actually, she kinda is a spirit already since all mortals have spirits, but they’re in bodies. Still, the spirits will be set free upon death, although that’s complicated.”

“Where are you going with this?” Severus snapped.

“I’m saying the spirit thing is an excuse. So is the professor and student thing. All of them are weak excuses at that. There’s something holding you back from embracing her. What is it?”

Severus opened his mouth, but no words came out. His glow pulsated.

“Do you feel unworthy of her?”

Severus lowered his head and stared at the ground. His glow was dark blue.

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Sirius continued.

Severus’ tensed.

“Somehow you became convinced that you weren’t worthy of someone like Hermione, and now you’re having a pity party.”

“I’m not having a pity party.” He mumbled.

“Then why did you leave early just to sit on a couch to talk to me? We both know you’d much rather be with her than ever see me again.”

“That is the most accurate statement you’ve ever made.”

“Then why are you here instead of with her?”

“Because…” His voice tapered off.

“Because why?”

His voice was almost inaudible. “Why would she want me?”

“I don’t know, but clearly she does if she keeps seeing you.”

“This relationship is going to fail, just like everything else does.”

“Why are you so convinced your relationship will fail?”

“You said it best, ‘You don’t stand a chance with her. No girl will ever love Snivellus.’”

“I didn’t say that about Hermione. In fact I don’t think…” Sirius turned white. “Oh, I did say that once, didn’t I?”

“You said it twelve times.”

“Twelve?” He squeaked.

“Yes, I counted each time you said it in my head over the weekend.”

“I think it was thirteen, but I may have only said the last one to Peter when we were alone.” Sirius put his head into his hands. “I still said it too many times though.”

“I hate admitting you were right, but in terms of me being in love you are. I will find a way to muck it up, and we will all be in a worse position than before.”

Silence fell between them.

“No,” Sirius voice was strong. “I was wrong then. In fact, I’d never been more wrong about anything.”

Severus did not look up.

Sirius raised the other spirit’s head. “Look, I was right in that Lily wouldn’t love you back, but I was wrong in saying that no woman could ever love you.”

“It doesn’t matter if she loves me. When she gets to know me, she will abandon me.”

“That isn’t true, and deep down inside you know it.”

It was clear from his expression that Severus believed no such thing.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I have proof.”

“What?”

“I’ve been stuck in here reading Plato, and I think I’m learning what love is.”

“Seducing everyone in sight?”

“No, it’s about doing the one thing I could never do in life,” Sirius emphasized the next words. “Creating something.”

Severus stared at him.

“In life I didn’t know how to create anything. I lacked imagination and ambition. If someone like you could do what I couldn’t, I hated them.”

“You mean you envied me?”

“No, I just hated you because I couldn’t fathom what it would take to create something. Instead of finding my own path in life and creating something, I tore you and others down. I figured if I had a sucky life then everyone else should too. Looking back, I said I fought for truth and justice, but the reality I was far more interested in inflicting pain on others than improving the world.”

Severus’ glow lightened.

“Your time in Purgatory has been spent making up for the things you couldn’t do in life. You didn’t have time to brew potions in life, in large part because of the situation I put you in by being an arse instead of contributing anything tangible to the world.”

Severus blinked.

“You are different though. Hermione and you are creating, whereas I am coming to the realization that I have done next to nothing in life. Aside from Harry, nobody misses me. Really why would they?” Sirius was now cerulean. “I didn’t give them anything to miss.”

“Do you want me to contradict you?” Severus bit his lower lip.

“No, because I’d know anything you said was a lie,” Sirius replied. “Still, I’m trying to make a point.”

“What?”

“You have another chance to create, to cherish, to love. Don’t squander it the way I squandered my first chance.”

“Love is a two way street though,” Severus argued. “She may not love me in return.”

“You’re not half as good a liar as you think you are.”

Severus furrowed his eyebrows.

“You and Hermione create beautiful potions together. You touch each other’s souls. You can’t throw that away because you’re scared,” Sirius’ glow was yellow.

“Are you saying you have faith in me not to muck this up?”

“Trust me, I’m as shocked as you are, but yes, I do have faith in you.”

"In other words, the impossible has happened. You have faith that I can be in a relationship."

"Well, you might need help from me from time to time, but yes, I do think you could make this work."

"And if I can't?"

"Then I'll throw you and her into this Purgatory room until you two make up."

"How?"

"I have my ways."

They looked at each other before they burst out laughing.

“Severus?”

The spirits turned to the saint in the center of the room.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Dismas began. “St. Augustine was putting the finishing touches on heaven’s Easter party.”

“Given his work I would imagine it will be an uh, interesting affair,” Severus noted.

“You’d be surprised.” Dismas grinned. “He often forgets he’s a saint, especially once the water gets turned into wine.”

Sirius grinned.

“I heard you calling for me. Do you need something?”

“No,” Severus turned to Sirius. “I think we have a plan for our next course of action.”

“That’s wonderful to hear.”

“It’s wonderful to say,” Severus answered.

“Indeed it must be,” Dismas replied, knowing the program was working much better than anyone ever could’ve expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	59. Chapter 59

Hermione had promised herself years ago that she would no longer cry herself to sleep over a man. After so many nights crying for Ron, she just wanted a deep sleep without being emotionally exhausted the next morning. So far she’d kept that promise, until a snarky potions master had entered her life and stolen her heart. Now she was curled into a ball on her bed, blankets over her head. Tears stained the sheets as she gasped for breath.

How had Severus managed to capture her heart? Why had she let her guard down knowing how different their situations were? Had she learned nothing from her past experiences?

The room temperature rose.

When had she become so careless with her heart that she would just give it away to the first spirit who stopped on her doorstep?

“Hermione?”

She hiccuped as she evened her breathing.

“Hermione, are you awake?”

She uncurled herself and poked her head out from the blankets.

“I apologize if I disturbed you.” Severus’ glow was soft. “I did not know if you were still awake.”

“I’m awake,” she croaked.

“I apologize if I disturbed you.”

“No, you’re fine. I couldn’t get to sleep anyway.” She sniffed.

“Why were you trying to sleep? It is only nine o’clock.”

“What else was there to do? I couldn’t focus on reading or work on our formulas. I was hoping a good night’s rest would help clear things up.”

“If you need more time to clear things up I can leave.”

“No!”

His eyes grew.

“Please stay.” She wiped her face. “I need you.”

“I need you too,” he whispered.

“Are you only saying that because I’m upset?”

“I’m saying it because it’s the truth.”

She brushed another tear from her eyes.

His glow pulsated. “I apologize for upsetting you. It was never my intention to hurt you. It seems that I did though.”

“No, this isn’t your fault.” She allowed her blanket to fall, exposing her pink shirt with black lettering.

“Angel?”

She glanced down at the black words on her shirt and shrugged. “This is one of my favorite shirts.”

“It is a very lovely shade of pink on you. It is a very fitting shirt, on a multitude of levels.”

“Thank you.” It came out more like a question.

“Indeed.” Severus’ glow flickered. “I am off topic though. I came here to apologize for running out as I did.”

“No, I should be the one saying, ‘I’m sorry.’ I should not have allowed myself to get close to you as I have. I’m mucking everything up, and I know it.”

“No, I am mucking things up.” Severus walked through her bed until her was in front of her.

“I don’t want you to risk not going to heaven for me.” She clutched her sheets.

“Heaven is the least of my concerns right now.”

“I think it should be one of your greatest ones considering…”

He motioned for her to be silent. His voice was soft. “Please, let me finish this thought. Otherwise I will lose courage and it’ll never come out.”

She closed her mouth.

“It was wrong of me to run out as I did. My only defense is that I am a man who is unaccustomed to dealing with heavy emotions, or emotions in general.”

She nodded.

“When we touched, I overreacted. I did not expect the sensation to be as powerful as it was.”

“I didn’t either,” she whispered. “But it was one of the happiest moments of my life.”

“It was the happiest moment of my existence.”

“Still, if it cost you anything, I apologize.”

“It didn’t cost me a thing.”

“Not even heaven?”

“To my knowledge no.”

She blinked.

“I saw Dismas when you were gone. He mentioned nothing about it.” Severus’ glow brightened.

“But you didn’t bring it up either.”

“There was no need to.”

“Why wouldn’t it have been worth bringing up?” She sat up straighter. “You touched a mortal, gave her a sensation which was more powerful than an orgasm, and she admitted she felt an affection for you. How is that not worth bringing up?”

"Because giving you eudaimonia is part of my mission.”

“I’m completely lost,” she drawled. “How is getting a mortal to feel affection for you part of your mission?”

“First of all, you are not any mortal. You are Hermione Granger, an amazing woman I am privileged to know.”

Her lips curled up.

“Second of all, my mission is to bring you eudaimonia. I seems my relationship with you is doing just that.”

“What are we though?”

“What do you want to be?”

She picked at a string on the hem of her sheets.

“Hermione?”

She hummed.

“What do you want to be?”

“I.” She swallowed. “I want to be in a relationship.”

“We are technically in one.”

“No, I mean.” She swallowed. “I want to be in a romantic relationship with you.”

His glow dimmed as he turned white.

“Please don’t hold me to that.” She bowed her head. “Forget I said anything.”

“No, it isn’t that.”

Her lower lip quivered.

“I never thought I’d hear those words out of anyone’s mouth, much less yours.”

She looked at him.

“Do not get me wrong, as a woman I have noticed you.” He turned a light shade of pink. “Oh Trinity have I noticed you.”

She gave him a smile.

“Still, I am not accustomed to having a woman show interest in me, especially not one I had romantic sentiments towards.”

“You have romantic sentiments towards me?”

“Somewhat against my will.” His pink glow brightened.

She giggled.

“If I was alive I would punish you for laughing at me.”

“Don’t damn yourself on my account.”

“If I go down, I’m taking you with me.”

She erupted into laughter. He chuckled beside her.

When they quieted, she gulped. “You said a woman you had romantic feelings towards didn’t show interest in you.”

“I did.”

“Have you had many romantic sentiments towards anyone else?”

“Admittedly, Lily was the only woman I felt anything towards in life, ultimately to my detriment.”

“I wouldn’t say it was to your detriment.” Her vote was stronger. “Your feelings towards her helped shape you into the man you are, the man I am hopelessly attracted to.”

He turned a brighter shade of pink.

“I want you, I honestly do. If you were alive…” Her face was rouge.

“You have no ideas the things I would do to you if I had a body.” He smirked.

She giggled.

“That being said.” His glow was a light blue. “I am not in a body. If this is an insurmountable obstacle I understand.”

“I don’t care at all about your lack of a body.”

“Perhaps you should. I cannot give you many of the things a mortal man can.”

“No mortal man is you though.”

“I suppose I am unique.”

“You are.” She leaned over to kiss him on the nose, but fell through him.

“That is what I mean,” He warned. “I cannot hold you at night, give you children, or see your other friends. We will be in different forms until the day you die.”

“You act as if I care.”

“On some level, should you not care?”

“No.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Severus, I don’t understand what’s developed between us, but I know analyzing it will do us no good. I want you beside me throughout my life, in whatever form you take.”

“I cannot guarantee I will be there your entire life. They may decide I have given you eudaimonia, or decide I am more suited for Purgatory.”

“Then let’s enjoy the time we have together, the time we know we have.”

“Are you certain you want to spend that much time with me?”

“I’ve never been so certain of anything in my life.”

His glow was a bright yellow.

“I know we overanalyze things, and we don’t give our hearts away easily, but if you’re willing to be in this with me, I want nothing more than to be with you," she replied.

“I want to be with you as well.” His glow was pink. “I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you at this moment.”

She extended her hand. “Will you please touch me again?”

He grinned before taking clasping her hand in his.

Once again, she was at peace with the world. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, she knew he cared for her and just as importantly, he knew she cared for him. Even if they refused to say those three pesky words, she knew they were in love.

Somehow, that love would get them through whatever challenges lie ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	60. Chapter 60

Severus floated back into the room, his feet centimeters from the ground. His glow was pink, a smile was plastered onto his face.

“I take it things went well with Hermione.” Sirius smirked, though there was no malice in his expression.

“We may have worked a few things out,” Severus lay down on the couch, his eyes glistening.

“I’m glad things went so well.” Sirius stepped closer to him. “When you didn’t come home at midnight, I was afraid something had happened.”

“No, nothing happened, other than we agreed to be in a romantic relationship.” Severus’ glow intensified.

“Great,” Sirius replied. “So what’s next?”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“How do you plan to keep her interested in you?”

He stared at him, mouth open.

“Do you have any plans to romance her?”

“Romance her?” His glow was lessening.

“Yes.” Sirius loomed over him. “Romance her.”

Severus sat upright, now completely white. “Why would I need to romance her?”

“Is that an actual question?”

Severus twisted his lips.

“You are her boyfriend, right?”

“Boyfriend?” He frowned. “That sounds absolutely juvenile.”

“Well, I’d call you her lover except,” He pointed to Severus’ groin. “You can’t make love if you know what I mean.”

“I can’t?” Severus glanced at his robe.

“No, you don’t have right equipment.”

“I don’t?” Severus squeaked. Truth be told, he’d never considered which parts of his anatomy had made it into the afterlife and which had not. He’d never had the inclination or the privacy to take a peek down there. Come to think of it he hadn’t so much as attempted to take off his robe. Had he been so busy over these last seven years he hadn’t even taken time to examine his new form?

“At least I don’t have it.” Sirius ignored the other spirit’s distress. “I already looked.”

“You looked?”

He looked at Severus as if he’d just asked if a unicorn had a horn.

Severus turned neon green. Was he really having an anatomy discussion with the man who exposed his underwear for all of Hogwarts to see?

“Not having certain parts inhibits you in the romance department, but that’s okay. You’ll think of something.”

Severus’ white glow was arrhythmically pulsating.

“Are you okay?”

“I have to be Hermione’s lover?”

“Yeah, I thought that was the goal.” Sirius drawled.

“I’ve never been on a proper date in my life, yet I have this woman expecting me to romance her because I’ve agreed to be romantic with her?”

“Looking at it from that angle she is setting herself up for disappointment, isn’t she?”

Severus groaned before curling himself in a ball.

“Okay, don’t worry. I’ll think of something.” Sirius muttered.

“Think of it quick.”

“Don’t rush me” Sirius motioned for Severus to move his legs. “You can’t rush true love.”

“With all due respect,” Severus sat upright, allowing Sirius to plop down beside him. “It seems that every relationship you’ve been in has lasted no longer than one night. You are hardly an expert in love.”

“True, I don’t know how to sustain a relationship, but I do know how to romance, which is a skill you lack.”

“I cannot imagine you know any more about seducing women than I do.”

“James would vehemently disagree with you.”

“James?” Severus’ eyes bulged.

“I gave him a few tips on seducing Lily. Without me he never would’ve captured her attention.” Sirius paled before turning to Severus. “Which is probably why the Trinity wants me to help you with Hermione.”

Severus shook his head.

“I’m sorry if I upset you…”

“I would be upset except,” he turned a dull pink. “I would rather spend an eternity with Hermione than Lily.”

“Great!” Sirius clapped his hands. “I’m already setting things right.”

“All you did was give me a few pep talks. You have yet to help me on any kind of formal date with her.”

“That’s a technicality.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Fine,” Sirius scratched his chin. “Do you know what she likes to do on dates?”

“Eat food from a restaurant.”

“That’s out given that you can’t leave her house, although,” he brightened. “You could order in.”

“I’m teaching her to cook. Asking her to eat out would undermine everything I’m trying to teach her.”

“See, this is your problem,” Sirius raised his finger. “You lack any and all romantic instinct.”

“How is wanting her to cook not being romantic?”

“You’re asking her to work on her date.”

“I’m teaching her a necessary life skill. There is no reason I should cease doing so because we’re on a date.”

“I swear you wouldn’t know romance if it smacked you in the back of the head,” Sirius replied. “She could take you to Paris and you would spend the entire time complaining about the traffic.”

“The traffic is horrid there.”

Sirius smacked his head with his hand.

“I am only being honest. I went there for a potions conference once, and the city was narrow and cramped. I did not appreciate shoving so many people aside.”

“Thank the Trinity you aren’t leaving her house then,” Sirius grumbled.

“Indeed, I do not wish to repeat the experience.”

“Fine,” Sirius’ glow returned to its regular hue. “You are going to force her to cook her own dinner. How romantic.”

“Would you rather I force her to pay for it?”

“Given that a woman like Hermione would’ve paid for her own meal anyway and you won’t be eating, she probably wouldn’t have minded paying.”

Severus blinked.

“But fine, you want to play chef with her. Do you know any aphrodisiacs?”

“She can make pasta, which I’ve always found romantic.”

“Pasta isn’t bad.”

“And she likes strawberry ice cream.”

“Strawberry is an aphrodisiac, so that could work.” Sirius nodded. “After dinner, what do you plan to do?”

“Discuss potions.”

Sirius slumped as if he’d just been hexed in the heart.

“What?” Severus hissed.

“You sound like the most boring boyfriend in existence.”

“I apologize for not taking her skydiving. Also, I’m her paramour, not boyfriend. It sounds more mature.”

“Paramour, whatever,” Sirius replied. “You still sound stuffy and boring.”

His glow dimmed. “Which is probably why not many girls showed an interest in me.”

“Amongst other reasons.” Sirius sat upright.

Severus slouched

“You need to make Hermione feel special when you come down there. Normally I’d suggest chocolates, flowers, or strawberry ice cream. We can’t touch many earthly things though so those are out.”

“This is hopeless,” Severus muttered.

“No, it isn’t. I just have to remember who I’m talking about.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’ve spied on Hermione for a few weeks now and I have some idea of what she likes and does not like.”

“She likes potions.”

“No, she likes curing her father. You like potions and are bringing her along for the ride.” Sirius glanced at the books on the ground. “But she does like books.”

“As do I.”

“Yes,” his glow brightened. “You both like books, which is something I can work with.”

“How?”

“You need to make her feel special by reading to her.”

Severus’ eyes grew.

“I know, your voice is not angelic,” Sirius replied. “It grates on my nerves after ten seconds. Still, it has that deep quality which some women like.”

“So you want me to read to her like she’s a toddler?”

“No, I want you to read to her like you’re trying to make a woman feel special.”

“How would I do that?”

“Well, let’s practice.” Sirius picked up a book. “Ah _Rival Lovers._ It’ll be perfect for our purposes.”

“How? It’s about two homosexual wrestlers, not seducing women.”

“Don’t care.” Sirius shoved the book into Severus’ hands. “Go ahead and read it.”

Severus scowled before opening the book.

“She won’t find the scowl sexy.”

Severus bit back his next words.

“I’m ready when you are.”

Severus began as if he was giving a lecture. “I entered the grammar school of the teacher Dionysius, and saw there the young men who are accounted the most comely in form and of distinguished family, and their lovers.”

Sirius pretended to yawn.

Severus stopped reading. His glow was red.

“You need to put some feeling into it. Read like you actually care what’s on the page.”

“I entered the grammar school of the teacher Dionysius!” Severus put as much emotion into the words as he could.

“Oh Trinity you sound like a third grader in his first play.”

Severus threw the book onto his lap. “I apologize for not meeting your oh so lofty standards.”

“I’m trying to show you how to make a woman happy.”

“How can I do that if I am so lacking in the romance department?”

“Look.” Sirius’ glow brightened. “Just pretend you’re alone with Hermione. It’s just you and her in her library. She wants to read _Rival Lovers_ because she doesn’t understand that it’s about homosexual wrestlers. All she did was pick up the book and thought it was romantic.”

Severus took the book again.

“Now, read it not as a professor, but as someone who knows he is loved unconditionally. Don’t read it like a performance, but as an honest attempt to make a woman feel special.”

“Very well then.” He returned his attention to the page. His voice was low, yet he enunciated every word. “I entered the grammar school of the teacher Dionysius, and saw there the young men who are accounted the most comely in form and of distinguished family, and their lovers.”

“Perfect,” Sirius purred.

Severus’ glow intensified. “What?”

“I said you read it perfectly”

“No I mean, you almost sounded like it was too perfect for you.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Sirius grinned. “You are far from my type.”

“Good, because you are far from my type too.”

“Still, if someone read like that to me, I would spend the rest of the night with them.”

“I have difficulty seeing you spend the night with anyone who read to you.”

“I mean I did have a thing for illiterate people…” There was a spark in Sirius’ eyes.

Severus snickered.

“Joking aside.” Sirius grinned. “Don’t worry about seeing Hermione again. If all else fails, read to her the way you read to me. It’ll get you out of more than one jam.”

“True, but do you truly believe we can build a relationship off of reading?”

“Of course not. Even you and Hermione don’t like books _that_ much.”

Severus’ glow lessened.

“Until I get an idea of what kind of romance she expects from you we’ll start with this.”

“Expects from me?”

“Yes.”

“I thought she was supposed to take me for how I was and not expect anything else from me.”

“Oh she does take you for who you are,” Sirius replied. “Still, every woman expects a little spontaneity every now and then. That’s what makes them frustrating.”

Severus was pale.

“Don’t worry about that for now. Just keep reading. In the meantime, it’s time for me to get back to work.”

Sirius disappeared, leaving Severus wondering how he was supposed to maintain a relationship if he was so inept at romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is deeply appreciated!


	61. Chapter 61

You are a grown woman who has faced down the most evil wizard in existence, not some twelve year old girl who’s never so much as been hugged by a boy. There is no need to be so nervous.

Hermione looked at Severus. It was wrong to compare him to a boy. He was a man, very much a man.

Her heart fluttered as her mouth dried. His glow was a soft pink, accentuating the desire in his eyes.

Did this man have any idea what he could do to her?

She lowered her head before blushing. “Hello.”

“Hello,” his voice was just as soft.

She cast a quick glance at the stove. Was she supposed to be cooking something, or did their new romantic relationship not involve cooking lessons? Did she want cooking lessons, or did she just want Severus to hold her hand and gaze into her eyes the entire night?

“Did you have a nice day at work?”

She turned to him. He was staring at a bread crumb on the floor.

“It was fine,” she replied.

“Did anything interesting happen?”

“No, except, there were a few new books which are in high demand which came in. I spent most of the day dealing with shelving them and assisting the customers in finding them.”

“Oh, how.” He twisted his lips. “Intriguing.”

“That’s probably a strong word for it, but it kept me busy.”

“What were the books about?”

"They were the latest installment of a science fiction series and one fantasy bestseller."

"Oh."

“Neither of the books you,” she added quickly. “I won’t sell any book that inaccurately portrays your life, at least not anymore.”

“I appreciate that.”

Crookshanks strutted into the room, a scowl etched on his face. He sat in the middle of the room as if to remind them it was he who owned the house. After a few seconds, turned to Severus.

“Did you have a good day?” Hermione asked.

“It was fine.” His glow was white. “It was relatively uneventful.”

“I suppose that is nice.”

“Yes, it is.”

Crookshanks glared at Hermione, as if she was the silliest girl in existence. She matched his expression.

“Is something troubling you?”

She startled.

“I apologize for scaring you. You just look upset," he noted.

“Oh no, you’re fine, but Crookshanks,” she returned her attention to the cat. “Is judging me again.”

“Again?”

“Yes,” she sighed. “He is constantly judging me, especially if he thinks I am being ridiculous.”

“It must be thoroughly unpleasant to be judged by a feline all day.”

“He has his moments.” She raised the pitch in her voice. “But most of the time he is a very good boy. Yes, he’s a good boy”

Severus and Crookshanks rolled their eyes.

“Yes, he’s such a good boy,” her voice returned to its normal pitch. “Even if he judges me.”

“He has no reason to judge you.” He floated towards her. “You are wonderful just as you are.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” She grinned. “But I appreciate your sentiments.”

“They are not my sentiments, but facts,” he replied. “You are amazing. I am lucky to have you in my afterlife.”

She exhaled as silence fell between them again.

“I apologize.” Severus scratched the back of his head. “I have never been in a proper relationship, so I am at a loss for what to do this evening.”

Hermione tilted her head.

“Some would say I should wine and dine you, but I cannot leave this house, so a fancy restaurant is out of the question. We have materials where I could cook things, but you need to learn to be more self sufficient.” His glow pulsated. “Not that you are not self-sufficient already. You are a strong and independent woman. I would never imply otherwise.”

She couldn’t help but giggle.

He frowned as his glow turned red. “What is so amusing?”

“You.”

“I’m so glad I can entertain you,” he muttered.

“I apologize,” she calmed herself. “But you are cute when you’re tripping all over yourself.”

“Cute?” His glow was a brighter red.

“There’s no need to take offense. It’s a compliment.”

“It does not feel like one.”

“No, to you it wouldn’t, but for me.” She smiled. “It’s rather comforting to see you this way.”

“How?”

“It makes me feel less alone.”

“I don’t understand.”

“See,” She cleared her throat. “I believed I was the only one nervous about this evening.”

“What do you have to be nervous about?” His glow returned to its regular, yellow hue.

“It’s been years since I’ve been in a proper relationship. I was honestly at a loss for what to do once we met again.”

“There was never a need to be nervous.” His glow brightened. “You are perfectly lovely to spend time with.”

“To you maybe, but, you haven’t been in a relationship with me yet.”

“Technically we’ve had a relationship, but it hasn’t been romantic.”

“Yes, but romance is where I tend to trip over myself.”

“You cannot be any worse than me.”

“Do not be so sure.” She gulped. “You don’t know my history, at least not as well as others do.”

“Then please, enlighten me as to why you think you’d make a poor partner.”

She took a deep breath. “Ron and I spent so much time arguing when we were friends that it seemed normal to argue with him as a lover. If I got cross with him, that was typical. I was used to him disappointing me, so there was no need to be nervous around him. If it was a given that it would upset or hurt me, then why should I behave well.”

“I will do everything in my power to never hurt or upset you.”

“I wish I could promise you that I would never upset or hurt you, but I know I cannot,” she warned. “I am only human after all.”

He kept his attention on her.

“Still, I abhor fighting with you. While I love debating potions with you, I do not wish to tear you down over the slightest thing, especially if you couldn’t control it. The last thing I want to do is make your existence worse.”

“I hope never to hurt you too.”

“I’ve never been in a romantic relationship where I cared so much about not hurting my partner, so I am at a loss for what to do as well.”

Crookshanks gave her a small smirk before raising his tail and sauntering towards the food dish.

“So long as you do not plan on kicking me out I am fine with doing whatever you would like to do this evening,” he replied.

“As odd as it sounds, I want to cook,” she answered.

He raised his eyebrow.

“I enjoy cooking with you, and I want to work my way up to baking.”

“You are actually almost to where I feel confident of you baking a simple recipe.”

“Yes, you were quick to catch on, so you can progress sooner than any other student I’d teach.”

“I have a great teacher.”

“I would not go so far as to say that,” he chuckled. “But it is pleasant to have a student who is not a dunderhead.”

Her eyes sparkled.

“I will teach you how to make a delicious beef vegetable stew, and then I will give you a small treat.”

“A treat?”

His glow brightened.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Be patient and I will show you.”

Before she could respond, he touched her hand. She moaned as the ecstasy filled her body.

“Would you like to get out the carrots?” He released her.

“If it means you’ll touch me that much sooner, then yes.”

There was a spark in his eyes as she began retrieving her supplies from the refrigerator.

Tonight was promising to be quite pleasant.

***

Something wasn’t right.

As much as Cormac tried to forget his botched attempt to seduce Hermione, the scene had replayed in his head multiple times that week. The more he thought about it though, the less it made sense. There was playing hard to get, and there was assaulting someone with a Champagne bottle. It was clear that Hermione did not want him, but why not?

Cormac stood over the golden pensieve and took a deep breath. Watching this would be painful, but it needed to be done. As difficult as it was to believe, Cormac had gone wrong somewhere. If he could analyze his mistake, then he could seduce Hermione the proper way, or at least get her close enough to drink his Amortentia.

After taking a deep breath, he put his head into the penseive. A smile tugged at his lips as he watched himself approach her. His clothes were perfectly pressed, his hair perfectly parted, and expression perfectly imitating prince charming. How could she have resisted?

It was clear from her expression she wanted him. She was trembling in desire, her knees weak with want. What was holding her back?

Before he could act on her want that stupid purple pillow materialized. Once it was ripped away Cormac’s attention turned to her.

“Grab the Champagne bottle!” She shouted.

Wait, why would she need to order someone to grab the bottle if she was controlling it with her magic? Who else was there?

Cormac scanned the memory. There was nobody else around. Who was she talking to?

“Severus, don’t kill him!” She shouted.

Cormac tore himself from the memory.

So that’s what happened! Her new invisible boyfriend was there, and he interfered with Cormac’s attempts to woo her! He must have used an invisibility cloak, or an unknown spell! It made all the sense in the world!

Also, her new love’s name was Severus.

Cormac’s stomach fell. Poor guy. Nobody should be saddled with that name, especially given that they shared it with the surliest potions professor who had ever walked the halls of Hogwarts. May he burn in hell!

Cormac tensed as he remembered the month’s worth of detention he suffered for having the nerve to get sick and vomit on the other man’s boots. Did he have no compassion?

Before Cormac could go down that train of thought, a realization hit.

He knew the other man’s name was Severus.

At long last he had a name to attached to this man.

Cormac could find him.

His lips curled into a predatory grin as he rubbed his hands together.

Hermione would be his in no time.

***

“The glory of Him who moveth everything/Doth penetrate the universe, and shine/In one part more and in another less.”

Hermione sighed as Severus sat beside her on the couch, a book in his hand.

“Within that heaven which most his light receives/Was I, and things beheld which to repeat/Nor knows, nor can, who from above descends…”

She considered asking Severus if this is what he hoped heaven to be, or if he wished for something else. If she spoke though, he would fall silent. The last thing she wanted was to silence his sensual voice.

“Because in drawing near to its desire/ Our intellect ingulphs itself so far, That after it the memory cannot go.”

She hummed before shutting her eyes.

“Truly whatever of the holy realm/I had the power to treasure in my mind/Shall now become the subject of my song.”

She relaxed, only to open one eye once she heard him stop.

“I knew this was a terrible idea.” Severus set the book down on the coffee table. His glow was blue “All I am doing is putting you to sleep.”

“No,” Hermione sat up, both eyes open. “I’m not sleeping. In fact, it’s the opposite.”

His glow was yellow.

“Your voice when you’re reading is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever heard.”

“Truly?”

“Yes.” She swooned.

He smirked. “I think you’re the only person who’s ever been happy to hear my voice.”

“If you read like that to other women I would have some very stiff competition.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” his voice was soft. “Even amongst the angels, I will only see and want to dwell with you.”

She gave him a soft grin. “Perhaps, but surely you want to see the angels, with or without me.”

“I only want to see them if you are at my side.”

She swallowed.

“You are the Beatrice to my Dante.” He leaned towards her. “Every time I think about heaven, I imagine you beside me.”

“You’re assuming I’ll make it to heaven.”

“If Remus Lupin can enter, you’re a straight shot.”

She took the book and set it on the table. Then she leaned over and whispered, “Touch me.”

Severus did not need to be asked twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poetry Severus read is from The Paradisio by Dante, translated by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, January and February 2008
> 
> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	62. Chapter 62

“What kind of cake mix did you get?” Severus approached her.

She pulled out a box from a paper bag. “I want you to touch this.”

"Couldn't you just tell me what it is?"

"No." There was a spark in her eyes. "I want you to see it for yourself."

He hummed as he took it from her. The back of the box contained the instructions, but the front was far more interesting. It displayed a white cake with pink, blue, and green sprinkles atop it. Multicolored letters hung over the cake.

“Funfetti?” He drawled.

“Yep.”

His eyebrow looked as if it would float off his face.

“It’s my dad’s favorite kind of cake.” She lowered her voice. “Though you can’t tell him I told you that.”

“Why not?”

“It’s his dirty little secret.” She took the box and put it on the counter. “He thinks he should like a more manly flavor like chocolate, but he can’t resist the multicolored sugar inside.”

“I see.”

“Have you ever had it?”

“I cannot say I ever had the desire to taste something so,” he drawled the last word. “Juvenile.”

“It isn’t juvenile.” Hermione giggled.

“I would vehemently disagree. Anything with that many colors is juvenile.”

"No, it's perfectly adult, just for the young at heart."

"I am very much not young at heart, and you know it."

“No, you're just a grump.”

“It would serve you well never to forget that.”

“Well, Mr. Grump, if you’re so mature, what is your favorite type of cake?” She strolled towards the refrigerator.

“I was always fond of chocolate.”

“Was that your favorite kind of cake though?” She pulled out a carton of eggs.

“More or less.”

“More or less?”

“There is no need for the echo. We both know you are capable of hearing.”

“Fine, I’ll play along. What kind of chocolate cake did you like?” The door shut behind her. “German chocolate, chocolate with white frosting, or something else?”

He shrugged.

Her lips curled up. “Chocolate isn’t your favorite kind of cake, is it?”

“Good, you got the eggs out,” He began in his best professor voice. “Now you will need to pull out your measuring cups…”

“Not until you tell me what your actual favorite flavor of cake is.”

He frowned.

“What is it?”

“That is irrelevant to this lesson.”

“I think it’s very relevant,” she replied. “I told you that my favorite is yellow cake with chocolate frosting, I told you my dad’s favorite kind of cake, but you haven’t told me yours.”

“If you want your dad to have a wonderful cake then you will need to focus. We only have one evening to get this right.”

“I don’t have to bring him a cake. In fact.” She scratched the counter. “He may be afraid to try anything I bake.”

“His fears would be unfounded. I will ensure that anything you bake is more than adequate,” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Assuming you bake anything.”

“I will once you answer my question.”

His glow was a dull red.

“What is your favorite flavor of cake?”

“Why do you care? It isn’t like I can smell or eat it.”

“So? It’s still a fact about you I take an interest in.”

He gave her a playful scowl.

“Please.” She gave him the most doe-eyed expression she could. “It would help me feel closer to you if you told me.”

He muttered something.

“What?” She cupped her ear and leaned closer.

“I said it’s strawberry with vanilla frosting.”

She blinked and backed away.

“Why do you appear so shocked?”

“Nothing.” She cleared her throat. “I’m just trying to imagine my most feared professor sitting alone with a piece of strawberry cake singing ‘happy birthday’ to himself after a night of supervising detentions.”

“I never sang on my birthday,” he replied. “In fact, I forbid all singing in my classroom and quarters that day.”

“That sounds depressing.”

“If you had to listen to Minerva singing off-key you would put the same measures in place.”

“Fair enough, but a birthday without music sounds depressing.”

“The whole day was depressing, so lack of music meant nothing.”

She swallowed.

“I despised my birthday. There were few people to share it with, and at the time I loathed my life.” He let out a chuckle as he turned cyan. “If I’d known what it was like to be dead I may have appreciated living more.”

“Do you wish you were alive?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I do not mind this form, and I am happy with you.”

“But it isn’t the same as living.”

“No, and I am unsure if that is a good or bad thing.”

“I suppose it just is.”

“If I am honest most of my mixed feelings on the matter revolve around you.”

“Why?”

“You deserve better than me.” His glow turned a darker shade of blue. “You deserve a man who is alive and can properly court you, not a spirit confined to your house.”

“Let me decide what I deserve.” She touched his hand.

“You are quite adept at knowing what you want.” His glow became a bright yellow.

“I am,” she breathed.

For one long moment, they gazed upon each other, absorbing each other’s affection.

“That being said, we have work to do.” Severus slid his hand from hers. “Once we complete our work we can touch as much as you would like.”

“Promise?”

“I wish the cake was done baking now so we could be together on the couch.”

She grinned as she scurried to collect her measuring cups.

***

“That’s all there was to making a cake?”

He nodded as she pulled the cake out of the oven.

“I thought it would be complicated.” She set it on top of the oven.

“Making a cake from scratch is sometimes complicated depending on the recipe,” he answered. “Making one from the mix is quite simple and straightforward.”

“It must be if even I can do it.” She took a toothpick and stuck it into the cake. Then she removed it. “Is this good?”

He examined it. “It looks perfect.”

“Great.” She turned off the oven.

“Baking a cake from the mix is simple, which is why I chose it for you to try. I didn’t want you to be intimidated by baking, so I gave you a recipe which had a high rate of success,” he began.

“Thank you. I was nervous about all this. From the way Molly talked it sounded like baking would be nearly impossible for me.”

“You had too many dunderheads in your life telling you that baking was impossible when in actuality, they did not have the patience to teach you. The fault was on them.”

“Then it’s fortunate I found a superior teacher.”

“That you did.” He touched her hand.

She sighed. “I am going to miss you tomorrow.”

“As will I,” he whispered.

“Can I still pray to you?” There was a hitch in her voice.

“I don’t know.” His voice was soft. “I will listen for you though.”

“Hermione!”

Severus broke away from her. 

“Hermione, are you there?”

She glanced at him. “I can pretend I’m not home.”

He shook his head. “At some point you need to meet with your other friends, even if I am around.”

“But we need to frost the cake.”

“Hermione!”

“Then get him off the floo as soon as you can.”

Hermione darted over to the fireplace and straighten her t-shirt. “Hello, Harry.”

“Hello,” he replied.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s great.” Harry’s smile covered his entire face. “I just have some new ultrasound pictures to show you.”

“You do!” Her face lit up.

Severus’ glow lessened.

“Yes, but if you’re busy I understand.”

She glanced at the spirit.

“I will be in your bedroom,” Severus began.

“You can stay though.” She stepped away from the fireplace. “I’m sure Harry would love being in your presence again.”

From the look on his face, she knew the feeling would not be mutual.

“If you leave I suppose I understand though.” Her voice was softer.

“I would just be in your way if I stayed.” He backed towards the bedroom. “Still, I promised to help frost your cake. I can wait until you’re done speaking with Potter and reappear.”

“Are you certain?”

“I promise not to leave the house until the cake is complete.”

“Fine.”

Severus floated to the bedroom, Crookshanks in hot pursuit.

“Hermione? Are you there?”

“I’m here.” She rushed back to the fireplace. “Sorry, I just needed to take care of something.”

“Or someone.” A woman with dreamy eyes appeared in the fireplace.

Hermione groaned.

“Who?” Harry asked.

“Mr. Black Dress.”

“Oh crap, I didn’t think about your non-boyfriend.” Harry’s eyes were wide. “I didn’t think about you possibly being busy this evening. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” she replied. “He just left, so your timing is perfect.”

“I hope you didn’t make him leave on our account,” Harry replied.

“He was halfway out the door anyway.”

“I know, but I wish he would’ve stayed so I could meet him.”

“He’ll show himself to us when he’s ready,” Luna chimed in.

“I wish he’d be ready soon.” Harry replied. “I’d love to meet him.”

“He will when he’s ready,” Luna promised.

“I’m certain he will,” Hermione answered. “In the meantime, you two must be tired of standing hunched over like that.”

“It does hurt a little to bend in my condition,” Luna admitted.

“Here, come in.” Hermione backed away from the fireplace.

Within a few seconds, the Potters materialized in front of her. As they shook of the soot from each other, Hermione glanced at her bedroom.

Would Severus really be there when Harry left?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	63. Chapter 63

Tail in the air, Crookshanks strutted in the room as if he was walking along a red carpet. Severus didn’t look at him. Crookshanks leapt onto the bed. Severus continued to stare at the moon. The half kneazle let out a meow and pawed at the spirit, only to scowl when his paw went through Severus’ essence. He meowed again.

Severus grunted.

Realizing, meows would not work, he let out something which sounded like a yowl.

“So you do not care for the Potters either.” He turned to Crookshanks.

The half-kneazle huffed before walking around in a circle. After kneading the blanket for a few moments, he lay down.

“That about summarizes my emotions.”

Laughter echoed from down the hallway. Severus shook his head as Crookshanks struck the bed with his tail.

“Perhaps I should join them.” Severus mused. “They would not see me, but Hermione may take some comfort in my presence.”

Crookshanks yawned.

“You’re right. Hermione needs time with her friends away from me.” Severus attempted to scratch Crookshanks’ head, but his hand went right through him. “If I remain here I do not need to interact with Potter either. Things are complicated enough as they are. The last thing I need is for him to sense my presence.”

The feline closed one eye.

“Then again, if your owner and I are romantically involved, it is inevitable that I will be in the same room as Potter. I best accept that fact if I wish to remain with her.” He smirked. “Never would I have expected Hermione’s love being enough of an incentive to spend time with Potter.

Crookshanks stretched before shutting his other eye.

“The night I see Potter again does not mean to be tonight,” he concluded. “Right now, I am content to remain here and talk to a half-kneazle.”

Crookshanks let out a small purr.

He chuckled. If anyone had told him he’d spent even a portion of his afterlife talking to an orange hairball, he would have considered them crazy. Then again, he never suspected he would get involved with Hermione or be locked in a Purgatory room with Sirius.

The afterlife was strange indeed.

***

If Harry hadn’t inhaled its aroma and looked right at it, he never would’ve believed that cake existed. It was not burnt, nor did it smell like rotting eggs. It was as perfect as the one’s Luna made.

“It’s nice that you’re learning how to cook,” Luna began.

“Yes,” Harry returned his attention to his hostess. “It’s good to see you taking care of yourself.”

“I feel much better now that I’ve started taking care of myself,” Hermione took another look at the picture of a resting fetus in her hands.

“Yes, although I have to ask,” Harry grinned. “How much food have you burned in the course of your lessons?”

“Harry,” Luna scolded.

“Actually,” Hermione put the picture in the center of the table with the other three. “I haven’t burned anything yet.”

“Nothing?”

“Nope.” She smiled.

“Wow,” he replied. “Then again, I shouldn’t be so surprised given that you seem to pick up on things once you put your mind to doing them.”

“That isn’t quite true. I didn’t pick up on cooking right away.”

“No, but you never seemed to take an interest in it until now.”

“True.”

“What changed? Molly did everything in her power to teach you, and your mother seemed to have given up on you. What inspired you to learn how to cook?”

“I found a good teacher.” Her lips curled upwards.

“Who I still haven’t met.”

Hermione swallowed.

“Now Harry,” Luna turned to Hermione. “In time you will meet him.”

“Yes, you will.” Hermione swallowed.

“Fine, I’ll be patient.” Harry gave them a playful pout.

Luna giggled while Hermione relaxed.

“Mysterious boyfriends aside, I’m glad you have someone who is making you happy,” Harry replied. “It’s good to see you happy.”

“You’re just happy I’m not eating out and asking you for fresh food.”

“No, I’m happy you’re happy, even if it is with someone who refuses to meet me.”

She laughed.

“In all seriousness,” the playfulness evaporated from his expression. “It’s nice to see you out of the rut you were in. You’re finally being the person we all knew you could be.”

“How so?”

“You’re meant to research, to find cures instead of hoping someone else does so.You can take care of yourself, but you didn’t want to. You aren’t the kind of person to tell the world to bugger off, yet that’s what you’ve been doing these last few years.”

“I will admit to being a little more open with people lately.”

“You are much more open to people.” There was a twinkle in Luna’s eyes. “And you finally have a chance to have what we have.”

Hermione swallowed and blushed. “It’s a little early to determine that.”

“True, but sometimes you just know,” Luna replied.

“Perhaps, but I’m not someone who just does things based on intuition alone.”

“You should try. It does work.”

“It does.” Harry squeezed Luna’s hand.

“Perhaps,” Hermione muttered.

“Anyway, do we get a piece of that delicious cake?” Harry asked.

“Sorry, but this is for my dad.”

“Oh come on,” his eyes were agleam. “He won’t know if we have a piece.”

“He will if I take the whole tray to him and there’s a big piece missing.”

“You can just put it in a smaller pan.”

“Or I can give you a piece when I get back.”

“Promise?”

“It’ll even be frosted by the time you get it.”

“I can’t argue with that then.”

“No,” she replied. “You can’t.”

***

No matter how long his existence lasted, Severus could not break his spying habits. Although the voices had gone quiet, he refused to leave his spot. For all he knew Potter was in the restroom, or his wife had finally convinced him to reduce his volume. Years later and the boy was still as loud as he was at Hogwarts. How did Luna manage to think long enough to accomplish anything?

Then again, Luna was in her own world half the time. Perhaps Potter talked loudly because that was the only way to turn his wife’s focus onto him.

Severus glanced at the clock. A few minutes had passed since the last audible word. It might serve him well to take a peek outside. He began to rise.

Crookshanks growled without opening his eyes.

Severus raised an eyebrow and continued to ascend.

Crookshanks’ growls were louder.

“Touchy,” Severus returned to his spot.

The half-kneazle relaxed.

“Severus?”

“Yes?”

“You can come out now. Harry’s gone.”

He stood again. Crookshanks barred his teeth.

“Severus?”

“I would come, but I fear your pet is not happy with my departure.”

Hermione’s footsteps drew closer.

Severus glared at the half-kneazle. The sleeping animal let out a soft snore.

“How exactly is Crookshanks keeping you in place?” Hermione opened the door. “He can’t even touch you, can he?”

“No, but he can growl.” Severus stood. As expected, Crookshanks let out a sound. “I have no idea why he has become attached to me, but the more I want to leave, the more he demands I stay.”

“That sounds like Crookshanks.”

“It’s bloody annoying.” Severus mumbled.

“He must like your warmth,” Hermione noted. “Or perhaps he just likes you.”

“He would be the first non-human creature to like me.”

“He’s used to you, and sees that you make me happy.” She sat on the other side of Crookshanks. She rubbed his head. He let out a small purr.

“Did you have a nice visit with Potter?”

“It was very lovely.” Her eyes sparkled. “His unborn son is so adorable. I can already tell he’s going to look just like his father.”

“Oh joy, another clone of James,” Severus muttered.

Hermione’s voice softened. “Do you only see James when you see Harry?”

“No,” he admitted. “When I see Harry I see a young man who has done little but complicate my life.”

“He didn’t mean to complicate anything. He couldn’t help who he was.”

“I know, and I should not hold it against him.”

“Yet you do.”

Severus’ glow dimmed.

“Do you still see Lily when you look at him?”

“No, and even if I did,” his glow intensified. “It would not matter because I would be too focused on you to care.”

She swallowed.

“He’s complicated my life in other ways.”

“Do you dislike him because he cleared your name?”

“Among other things.”

Hermione stroked Crookshanks.

“He had no right to release my private information as he did,” he continued. “Even if I was dead, those memories were for him and him alone. He had no right to broadcast them all over the world.”

“He thought you deserved to die with some dignity. Your name had been falsely dragged through the mud enough. He wanted to set things right.”

“Misguided Gryffindor loyalty," Severus muttered.

“He was trying to behave justly and treat you with the respect you deserved.”

“He was playing God and deciding what I did and didn’t want.”

“Listen,” Hermione held up a hand. “I’ve had a pleasant evening. Can we please end it by frosting the cake instead of arguing?”

“I would love nothing more than to move on from this topic.”

“Good.” She got up, but he remained where he was.

“Please understand,” his voice was soft. “I know you are friends with Potter. Understand that my feelings towards him will always be complicated.”

“His name is Harry, not Potter.”

“Harry.”

“Thank you.”

He stood.

“Also, I understand your feelings are complicated towards him. If I were you, mine would be too.”

His glow brightened.

“Still, he is my friend. I know you would not ask me to choose between you two, but I need you to try and be respectful towards him.”

“That I can do.”

“Good.” She held out her hand.

He grasped it.

It never ceased to amazing him how much love overtook his essence when he touched her, or how her face betrayed her ecstasy. It was as if her touch was all the heaven he would ever need.

“If you don’t take me to the kitchen we’ll never get this cake frosted.” She moaned.

“We cannot have that, now can we?” He led her out the bedroom.

Crookshanks awoke and snarled.

Why did all the warm spots go away?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	64. Chapter 64

Hermione’s heart raced as Wilford took the vial from her hand. She shook, not knowing if this was due to her nervousness or the AC blasting in the background. Since beads of sweat were forming on her brow, she figured it was the former.

Her dad leaned forward in the chair and ran his finger along the cork stopper. “Are you certain you won’t get in trouble with your government if you give this to me?”

“No,” she replied.

“But what about that Statute of Secrecy or whatever it's called?” Muriel put a hand on her husband’s shoulder.

“It’s murky as to whether or not it applies to a circumstance such as this,” Hermione explained. “You two already know about magic, so there’s no reason to hide from you. Experimental treatments aren’t unheard of, so if anyone asks you could tell them you participated in one.”

“If anyone pressed for more details I could say I was one of the few without any terrible side effects, hence the reason they shut it down,” he mused aloud.

“I would support you if you told that story,” Muriel added.

“I can make some false documents when all is said and done.”

“No, best to keep things vague,” Muriel replied. “The more details we provide the more likely it is that there will be an inconsistency.”

“True.”

Silence fell amongst them.

Wilford locked eyes with his daughter “Are you okay with me taking this potion?”

“Of course I am.” She put her hands behind her back. “I wouldn’t have given you it otherwise.”

“Yes, but you’re still afraid something will happen to me, aren’t you?”

“Am I that obvious?” She bowed her head.

“Only to me,” he answered.

“It really doesn’t matter how I feel about the potion. You have no choice but to take it. Time is running out, yet,” She raised her head. “I still worry.”

“I can refuse to take the potion if you’re that nervous about it. We can just forget it exists and move on.”

“No!”

Muriel and Wilford startled.

“I cannot sit by and watch you die.” A tear came to Hermione’s eye. “Even if the potion kill you, at least I know I did something to try to save you.”

“Fine, but I don’t need to take it in front of you. I can wait until you leave and take it. As soon as I know the results I’d contact you.”

“No, I need to see you take it,” her stomach churned.“Even if I’ll want to faint the entire time.”

“Okay.” The tension in his muscles left. “For the record, I’m glad to have you beside me. I wand my whole family to watch me recover.”

“I would like that too,” Hermione whispered.

“Is there any reason to believe this potion will not work?” Muriel squeezed her husband’s shoulder.

“No,” Hermione answered. “All the test subjects have reported increased cardiac function. There are no ill side effects reported, at least not yet.”

“Then have some faith in yourself.”

She gulped.

“I mean it.” He took her hand. “I trust you to give me something which will work. Just trust yourself.”

“I will.”

He took her hand and kissed it. Then, he popped the stopper from the vial. “I love both of you. Never forget that.”

“We love you too.” Muriel kissed him on the cheek.

“Yes, we love you,” Hermione kissed his other cheek.

“Then,” he grinned. “Bottoms up!”

With one quick motion, he poured the potion into his mouth. Once the last of the liquid was gone he coughed.

Hermione slumped onto the couch.

“Gods Hermione I’m proud of you, but couldn’t you have made this cherry flavored?” He wheezed.

“I was testing for efficacy, not flavor.” She frowned.

“I know, but if I could make one suggestion, please make it cherry, orange, or even grape flavored.”

“I’ll pose that idea to Severus if we decide to make any improvements.”

He coughed.

“Stop being a baby,” Muriel scolded. “Your daughter’s terrified that she may have killed you, and all you can do is whine about the flavor.”

“If I’m whining about the flavor, I’m still alive.”

“And still yourself, unfortunately.”

Hermione covered her mouth and giggled.

“How long does it take for this to work?” Wilford asked.

“It took most of the patients about an hour before they see the results.”

“Good, that means I’ll have cake while I wait for this to take effect.”

“I don’t know if that would be advisable,” Hermione warned. “The test subjects had eaten a few hours before ingesting the potion. I don’t know how it metabolizes if someone has just eaten.”

“So no cake,” Wilford slouched into his chair.

“Honestly Wilford,” Muriel made her way to the whicker wooden chair beside him. “You have not shut up about that cake since Hermione walked in the door.”

“My daughter made me a cake, and I’m very eager to taste it.”

“You might regret wanting it.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve only baked this one cake. Severus said it appeared edible, but he can’t smell it. For all I know it’s burnt to a crisp and it will be the worst thing you’ve ever ingested.”

“First of all, I can’t imagine that any cake could be as bad as my mother’s green bean casserole.” Wilford groaned. “Just thinking about that is enough to make me want to vomit.”

“You’re feeling alright, aren’t you?” Hermione stood and reached for her dad.

“I feel fine,” he answered. “But just thinking about it makes me sick.”

“It was putrid,” Muriel cut in.

“You had it?”

“She cooked it for me when I was first dating your dad.” Muriel moaned. “I could barely finish it.”

“What about it was so horrible?” Hermione sat on the black leather couch.

“She thought it was a good idea to put strawberries in it.”

“What?”

Wilford nodded as the color returned to his face. “She put strawberries and carrots in it. She thought it was the most creative thing she’d ever done. I thought she was born without taste buds.”

“She made it all the time too,” Muriel looked at Hermione. “I finally had to tell her I was allergic to green beans to make her stop serving it.”

“When you did that I’d honestly wondered why I’d never thought to do that.”

“Probably because she’d see through you.”

“Probably.”

“The point is,” Muriel looked at her daughter. “You come from a long line of people with questionable culinary skills.”

“I did not know about Grandma though,” Hermione gave them a sheepish grin.

“Now you do.” Muriel grinned.

“I honestly feel a little better. At least others in the family were as hopeless as I was.”

“You aren’t hopeless, but you’ve had no interest in learning until now.”

“I just hope Severus’ lessons got through,” Hermione squirmed.

“I’m sure you did fine,” Muriel replied.

“How is your little spirit friend anyway?” Wilford asked.

“He’s great.” The color returned to her face.

“Has he done what he needs to do in order to get to heaven yet?”

“About that.” She dug her foot into the ground. “He doesn’t want to go to heaven anymore.”

“Why?” Muriel’s eyes grew. “Does he think hell will be better”

“No, not at all” she argued. “It has more to do with the fact that we’re romantically involved.”

“What exactly does that entail?” Wilford’s voice was low.

“It means that we feel euphoric around each other, but we don’t want to define anything.”

“I am so lost.” Wilford shook his head. “Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend or not?”

“Boyfriend and girlfriend seem like such juvenile terms,” Hermione admitted. “I prefer the term lovers or paramours.”

“Interesting,” he drawled.

“Please.” Muriel buried her head in her hands. “Please for the love of all that is good tell me our first grandchild will not be some half human, half angel hybrid.”

“Oh no, we aren’t involved like that,” Hermione replied. “We’re just touching.”

“I thought he couldn’t touch things,” Wilford answered.

“He can’t unless I give him permission to,” her eyes lit up at the memory of his hand in hers.

“And this can’t impregnate you?” Muriel asked.

“To my knowledge, no.”

“Thank God.”

“What does his touch feel like?” Wilford asked.

“It’s very spiritual,” her body relaxed for the first time since arriving. “Physically I don’t feel anything, but his touch overwhelms my soul, if that makes sense.”

“Is it like having an in-depth academic conversation?” Muriel asked.

“A little, but when I touch him I’m at peace, yet ecstatic. At once I am calm yet invigorated. It’s somewhat hard to explain.”

“I think I’m getting the idea.” Wilford gave Muriel a look and a small smile.

“I think I do too.” She gazed back at him.

“It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before,” Hermione gushed.

“In other words, you’re finally in love,” Wilford turned to his daughter.

The color left her face as her mind crashed back to reality. “Love?”

“Yes, love.”

The color drained from her face.

“This isn’t a conventional romance,” Muriel began. “But if he makes you happy, who am I to object? It sounds as though you could do worse.”

“I don’t know if I’d call what we have love,” Hermione began.

“Why not?” Wilford’s skin was losing its bluish tint. “If you have such a spiritual connection why wouldn’t you feel love for him on some level?”

“It’s a little soon to say love.”

“Why? You made it clear to us during your last visit that you felt deeply for him. Everything you’re discussing sounds like what people experience when they’re in love.”

“Perhaps, but, I don’t know.”

“Are you afraid it will end?” Muriel’s voice was gentle and her eyes were soft.

“I told him we should enjoy the time we have together but,” She lowered her head. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t think about him leaving sometimes.”

“You cannot control whether or not he leaves,” Muriel replied. “All you can do is enjoy the moments you have with him.”

“Carpe diem, or whatever the saying is.”

Hermione glanced up. “You don’t think I’m crazy for falling in love with a spirit?”

“You were crazy to fall in love with Ron, someone you were completely incompatible with” Wilford replied. “Given the kinds of things you’ve experienced in your magical world like dark lords, ghosts, and house elves, this seems downright normal.”

Hermione laughed. “When you put it that way, falling in love with a spirit is typical for the magical world.”

“Just make sure he takes care of you.” Wilford sat up straighter. “I know a priest who can perform an exorcism if he becomes too troublesome.”

“Dad.” Hermione laughed.

“I’m serious. He needs to treat you well otherwise he’ll wish he was in hell.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him that.”

“Just be sure to be happy.” He stretched. “That’s all I ask.”

“Wilford,” Muriel gasped. “Your coloring!”

“What about it?” He looked at his brighter skinned arms.

“You look like you did before the first heart attack,” Hermione noted.

“I do.” He beamed. “I do!”

“You’re going to live!” Muriel cheered.

“It looks like it!”

“Yes!”

Hermione never saw any woman spring up as quickly as her mother did to huge her husband. She kissed the top of his head. “Oh thank God! Thank you Hermione.”

Hermione sniffed and wiped another tear from her eye.

“I can stop eating grass now.”

“Oh no, your diet is partly what got you into this mess,” Muriel scolded. “We are going to eat much healthier from now on so our daughter doesn’t need to keep creating potions to save you.”

“I didn’t want to live so I could eat grass and flavorless oats.”

“I would prefer not to need to create stronger heart strengthening potions because you want a cheeseburger every night,” Hermione cut in.

“Fine, but can I at least eat some cake?”

Muriel turned to Hermione.

“I think that can be arranged,” she stood.

Wilford rose, but did not reach for his walker. Instead, he walked to the kitchen, his body feeling as if he was still twenty years old.

It was good to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	65. Chapter 65

In life, Severus had rarely beheld the sunrise. Being in the dungeons did not give him the best views of the dawn. When he did awaken early enough to see it, he preferred to sip his tea and brace himself for the migraines of the day. Rarely did he venture outside to see the sun climb up the sky.

Even if he had been someone who enjoyed watching the sunrise, he doubted any were as magnificent as this.

His feet were atop a royal purple cloud. Ribbons of fuscia and bright blue streaked across the sky. Poking up from one bleached white cloud was an orange orb. The golden gates beside him glistened from the light.

“Impressed?” Dismas grinned.

“I have never seen anything like this,” Severus whispered his eyes wide and his glow intense.

“Each time of day has its beauty, but I’ve always had a soft spot for heavenly sunrises,” Dismas replied. “It’s the one time when the souls are not bustling about performing whatever task they’ve set about for themselves. They simply are, and are at peace.”

“If the sunrise is like this, I can only imagine how the sunset appears.”

“I don’t know what a sunset in the afterlife looks like.”

Severus turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

“The sun never sits here. You have to go down to Purgatory to see the sunset.”

“How does the night sky appear then?”

“One minute the sun is bright, and the next minute the Trinity decides they would like to see the stars. It is dark.”

“That must be confusing.”

“It would be if we cared anything for time. After a millennium you get used to it.” Dismas waved his hand. A chair materialized from the clouds.

“I am still struggling with the timeless aspect of the afterlife.”

“The timelessness is disorienting even for me, but it must be more so with you. You haven’t experienced true timelessness.” Dismas sat. “The closest you came was when you were waiting for the Trinity’s verdict.”

“I still cannot believe it took them seven years.”

“It probably only took them a few minutes, but they wanted to reveal their plans whenever they felt the time was right.”

“I suppose you would not know why they waited so long.”

“Only they know what the delay was.”

“Of course.” Severus turned to the circle in the sky, which was becoming less orange and more heliotrope.

Dismiss flicked his wrist, forming a star from the clouds. It floated towards the steaks of color.

“Have you ever experienced timelessness?” Severus asked.

He shook his head. “The closest I came to being disoriented by time was the harrowing of hell.”

“The what?”

“The harrowing of hell.”

“What is that?”

“I forgot, that isn’t what it’s called anymore,” Dismas made his companion a chair. “The harrowing of hell was when all the souls in Limbo were freed, along with a few in hell who had repented and wanted to come along for the ride.”

“That actually happened?” Severus sat.

“Yes, and it seemed to take years,” Dismas’ glow pulsated. “The souls were moving so slowly, and there was so much noise. At times I was at a loss of what was going on, or if I would ever see the paradise I was promised.”

“I can relate to that.”

“Yes, you could.” Dismas glow stabilized.

“How long did being in hell actually take?” Severus sat.

“Less than forty-eight hours."

"Oh," Severus replied. “What exactly were you doing during your time in hell?”

“I was carrying a golden cross and using it to strike the demons who were attempting to keep the souls from leaving.”

“It must’ve been quite frightening to see those demons attacking you.”

“To be honest, I wasn’t paying much attention to the demons.” Dismas’ glow dimmed and became blue. “I had my own mission I was trying to accomplish.”

“Did you succeed?”

The darkening of his glow was the only answer Severus needed.

“I remember reading in Dante that during the harrowing of hell quite a bit of the place was destroyed, including a city,” Severus continued. 

“There wasn’t much left of Dis when we were done.” His voice was soft and his eyes were distant. “But most of the souls came out. Everyone who wanted to leave did so anyway. Not everyone left though, no matter how hard I tried.”

Severus knew not to press further.

“Anyway, back to the issues of timelessness,” Dismas’ glow returned to its usual hue. “When I was told how short the harrowing was I was stunned. That was my first inkling that time did not operate here as it did in life.”

“Does everything still take forever?”

“No, because I became quite busy in becoming an advocate for souls like you who have committed grave sins, yet should not be damned.”

“Did you have a choice in doing this?”

“Of course I did. Every soul has complete free will,” Dismas crossed his legs. “The only difference is that nothing’s constraining us from becoming who we want to be. The Trinity is the only limit to our actions, so long as we stay in the afterlife of course.”

“And out of hell apparently.”

“Even they have free will. Most just choose not to use it productively.” He frowned. “Or cannot get out of their own way.”

“What is hell like?”

“ _The Inferno_ captured many of the elements well, but the more gruesome elements were left out. There were some things which even a heavenly soul does not need to be aware of.”

“I am afraid to ask what was omitted.”

“As you should be.” Dismas’ face brightened. “That shouldn’t concern you though. A saved soul cannot be damned unless they choose it.”

“I would prefer not to burn or freeze for eternity.”

“Then we will set the thermostat just right for you in heaven.”

Severus chuckled.

“That being said,” the humor evaporated from Dismas’ eyes. “What did you call me here to discuss?”

“Yes,” Severus sat up straighter. “I was wondering if there was a time table for when my mission should be accomplished.”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because,” Severus shifted his gaze to the golden orb hovering above the horizon. “Things may take longer than I initially thought they would.”

“Oh, so you’re realizing this mission wasn’t as straightforward as you initially believed.”

“No, it is quite.” Severus drawled out his next word, “Complicated.”

“Isn’t everything?”

“Indeed, but I am beginning to wonder if helping Hermione achieve eudaimonia will take a few years.”

“If it takes a few years, then it takes a few years.”

“You will not be upset if this takes more time?” Severus cocked his head.

“Why would I be? Eudaimonia can take a lifetime to achieve. Your timetable of a few months was too optimistic, though I figured you’d take it better if you figured that out on your own than if you heard it from me.”

“You were right about that.”

“Take as much time as you need. Just make sure she is in fact progressing in discovering eudaimonia. We wouldn’t wanther to regress after all.”

Severus turned white.

“Just remember, the goal is to make her better off than she was before our intervention, not worse.”

“She seems to be achieving a small sense of eudaimonia.” Severus’ glow became a bright yellow.

“As long as she is making some progress, then we will consider you to be achieving your mission,” Dismas replied.

“Thank you.” Severus gave him a half smile.

“There’s no need to thank me.”

The sun’s rays illuminated the sky.

“I had another question.” Severus turned white. “One which you may find odd.”

“After being in the afterlife for almost two millennia there’s very little I find odd, but go ahead.” Dismas replied.

“Sirius and I were talking the other day about whether or not we could take off the robes.”

Dismas burst out laughing.

Severus closed his mouth.

“I apologize, but you are far from the first spirit to wonder if they can remove the robes.”

“Sirius told me he could so I assumed I could as well.”

“We all can.”

“I know, but I would like to be prepared when I take it off,” Severus began. “I know you, Jesus, and Peter retained your scars. Will mine be there?”

“Yes.”

“What about the dark mark?”

“That we did remove.”

Severus’ glow was as bright as the shimmering of the gate.

“We do not have masters in the afterlife. There was no need for you to keep your branding.”

“I am very grateful for that.”

“Thank the Trinity. They have never approved of branding tattoos, nor do they allow them in their presence.”

Severus grinned.

“I should warn you.” The saint tapped his chin. “Branding tattoos are not the only things the Trinity removes from a person’s soul.”

“Sirius mentioned there are no genitalia.”

“Good, I don’t need to go into that.”

“Were they removed to prevent angels from having intercourse with people?”

“Actually genitalia exist because angels wanted earthly bodies to have some way of uniting,” Dismas explained. “Spirits can fuse together, but a material body cannot do that. The Trinity wanted people to have a foretaste of heaven, hence sex.”

“So Plato was mostly right about the gods wanting people to have some way of uniting.”

“The Trinity didn’t exactly cut people up, but they wanted them to have a foretaste of what we experience.” Dismas shook his head. “I only wish some mortals had not abused that gift in such horrible ways.”

“It seems everything beautiful is destroyed at some point.”

“Everything on earth is anyway.”

The spirits watch the sun crawl up the sky.

“Are people ever lonely in heaven?”

Dismas turned to Severus.

“If a soul has a deep bond with another, and he goes to heaven while the other soul does not, is he lonely?”

“At times, he is very lonely.” Dismas returned to his dark blue hue.

Severus' glow lessened.

“We never forget the damned. Despite heaven’s joys, we do miss those who have chosen not to join us.”

“What if the other soul is not damned, just alive but is very likely to be saved?”

“Oh, a situation like that.” Dismas returned to normal. “The waiting is difficult and there are lonely moments, but the reunion is all that much sweeter.”

“How does one bide time until the reunion?”

“Usually by watching over the person in question, or by cheering them on as they make their way through Purgatory.”

“In other words, one has hope.”

“Yes,” Dismas answered. “Where there is love, there is always hope.”

“I remember hearing about faith, hope, and love somewhere.”

“They are the highest of virtues.”

“How would you live them out?”

“Have faith that love is real, have hope that love will conquer all, and above all, have love for all. If you can do those things, then you are ready for heaven.”

“I believe I am learning how to do that.”

“That is good to hear,” Dismas replied.

“Indeed, it is good to say,” Severus returned his attention to the now risen sun.

Someday, Hermione and he would watch a sunrise together. Perhaps then, they would be fused as one, as they now desired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	66. Chapter 66

“He’s completely cured,” Hermione wound the last of her spaghetti around her fork. “When I left he was using a cane, not a walker.”

“Hopefully he will not need that for much longer.” Severus’ glow was bright yellow.

“He probably will probably always need the cane given that he is developing arthritis in his hip. That could be our next project though: an arthritis reliever.”

“Before my untimely demise, I had a few ideas for one, but there were parts of the formula I was unhappy with.”

“I could help you perfect them.”

“That would be wonderful.”

He watched her take her bite. It was rare to find somebody who did not slurp their spaghetti, much less one who did not splatter sauce about the table. She was the most graceful woman he’s ever met. How could every other man in her life be foolish enough to pass her by?

Their loss was his gain.

“I’m just grateful he has more time.” The light in her eyes died. “I can’t imagine my life without him.”

“I am glad we were able to help him then.”

“Indeed.” She sipped her remaining merlot.

“Hopefully he will live a few more decades.”

“Yes.” She took a shaky breath.

Severus’ glow dimmed.

“I’ve been thinking about something lately.”

“What?”

“Is a long life truly desirable?”

“Why would you ask such a thing?” He turned white.

“My parents are getting older. I will live centuries, whereas they may only live to be eighty. Even though I do not see my muggle friends often, it will be surreal to attend their funerals knowing I am a middle aged witch. Then,” she swallowed. “Then there’s you.”

“What about me?”

“I want to be around you forever, but surely you do not want to forego heaven for centuries. For all I know they will recall you from your mission because you are taking too long to help me find eudaimonia.”

He placed his hand across the table. “Let’s not deal with that”

“But…”

“We have an eternity together.” He walked in the middle of the table. “Somehow we will find a way to be together.”

“I know.” She swallowed. “Still, the more I think of all the people I lost and how many I will lose, the less living two centuries appeals to me.”

“You should enjoy life, not worry about the deaths of others.”

“All I’ve done since I was eleven was think about death.”

“True, but there is no war at the moment. You are free to enjoy life.”

“And I do enjoy living,” she gave him a small smile. “For the first time in a long time, I am happy.”

“I am so glad to hear it.” His glow intensified.

“Still,” She sat up straighter. “Looking at my life two centuries from now is surreal. Seven years ago I did not know if I would live long enough to find my next meal. Now I am curing my parents, yet knowing I will probably live a century or more without them.”

“I would imagine that is difficult to fathom”

“It is more difficult than I thought it would be, even more difficult than losing them forever by wiping their memories. At least when I erased their memories I knew if I’d died and they’d forgotten me they wouldn’t grieve me. That gave me some peace. But,” she blinked back a tear. “Not once did I think about how I would grieve them if I outlived them.”

“You should not borrow trouble. After all your father is recovering. He has decades, not years, left.”

“I know, yet it does not change the inevitable.”

“Nothing can change death, try as much as we want it to.”

“It seems surreal too because I fought a man who feared death more than anything. Now that I’m alive, I don’t know if living forever is desirable. I wouldn’t say death is desirable, but I’m losing my fear of it.”

“There is no real reason to fear death. In a physical form we will die, but our spirits live on.”

“I suppose there’s that.” She grinned. “And when I’m a spirit I can spend an eternity with you in heaven, assuming I make it.”

“If the Trinity is who they claim to be, you will make it to heaven.”

“I suppose I’ll be with my loved ones there too, but I don’t want to wait centuries to be with them.” She huffed. “I’m not making sense anymore, am I?”

“No,” he brushed his thumb over her hand. “You’re making all the sense in the world.”

Her face lit up and she exhaled. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you for making this whole thing tolerable.”

She hummed. “I have no idea what I would do without you. You have made everything so much better for me.”

“The feeling is more than mutual.”

She closed her eyes and moaned.

“You are the only joy I have ever had. Never forget that.”

“I won’t.”

He took his hand away from her, though his glow remained just as bright.

“Severus?” She whispered.

“Yes?”

“I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“You think you love me?” His glow dissipated.

“Yes,” she breathed, her eyes still closed.

“You love me?”

“Yes, I love,” she opened her eyes and gasped. “Oh God!”

He blinked.

“I didn’t mean it in a way that should scare you. I mean…” She groaned. “Forget I said anything.”

“How could I forget you saying that?”

“I don’t know, I just.” She covered her face with her hands. “I should have just kept my mouth shut.”

He stared at her.

“I always do this. I always mess up perfectly good relationships with emotions. You think I would have learned from my mistakes by now.”

“You are far from the first to muddy a relationship by bringing emotions into it.”

Her body shook.

“In truth, I am just as able to destroy relationships with emotions,” his voice softened, “just as I feared I would do with you.”

She raised her head.

“Hermione,” he turned pink. “I believe I have fallen in love with you as well.”

“You have?”

“Indeed. It appears as if you have captured my heart.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Not at all. In fact you may keep my heart for the rest of eternity.”

“I will offer you a deal.” She was beaming. “I will exchange my heart for yours. You may keep it for all of eternity if you so desire.”

“It will be my most treasured possession.” He floated several centimeters from the ground.

“Do you want to see if we can kiss to seal our deal?”

“I suppose we will try, though I cannot make any promises given our conditions.”

“I’m willing to try.”

“As am I.” He leaned in closer to her until his lips were over hers.

Although she could not feel his lips capturing hers, she felt as if his love was no longer constrained by her insecurities. The sensation energized her, and made her wild with desire. Underlying the sensation was peace in knowing she was unconditionally accepted. She had finally found a man worthy to give her heart to, and she would never let him go.

Severus felt pure unconditional love coursing through his essence. His whole being wanted to fuse with hers until they became one like the spirits in heaven. With a body she could not do it, yet if she could they would be one for now and for all eternity.

“I love you, Severus.” She broke away.

“I love you, Hermione.” His glow was the softest pink she’d ever seen.

“So uh.” She blushed. “After doing that, what exactly do we do”

“I will read more of _The Paradisio.”_

“Oh you will?”

“I will,” he purred. “I want to see your face when my voice is just the right timbre, the way your body relaxes when I begin describing the spirits, and the glisten in your eyes when you imagine yourself up there amongst them.”

“I am actually imagining myself standing with you when he describes the joy of the heavenly souls.”

“Good, because when I envision Beatrice, I envision you.”

“Well, my Dante.” She stood. “Lead me to the couch.”

“I shall.”

She followed him to the couch, her body already reacting to him. Merlin, how did he not have hundreds of women vying for his affections in life?

As she sat on the couch, she decided it mattered little why other women could not see what she saw in Severus. He was hers, and she was his.

It would be that way for all of eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	67. Chapter 67

Two weeks after his first kiss with Hermione, Severus finally had the courage to take off his robe.

The timing was perfect. Black had just left to perform his spying duties.There was plenty of time for Severus to inspect his body without prying eyes. All he’d need to do was keep track of time as best he could, lest Black seize the opportunity to mock his figure once more.

His glow pulsated as he took off his black robe. After a few tense moments he folded it and put it onto the couch, somewhat surprised it did not glow. Then again, it was black.

A few moments later he realized that staring at the robe was not allowing him to ascertain how he appeared. Slowly, he bowed his head until he was looking at his torso.

Every zig zagged scar was present. As in life, some were duller than others, and some overlapped. Still, the deep gash on his chest remained, as if taunting him with the memories of the meeting when he’d received it.

He trembled as he remembered the sound of Voldemort cackling, the echoes from the others Death Eaters' jeers,the smell of scorched flesh, and the darkness which met him once Bellatrix had grown bored and ceased her assault upon him. Voldemort asked him if he’d learned his lesson. Severus imagined he’d squeaked out a yes.

Next time, he would provide better intel. He would schedule more meetings with Albus, harass more muggleborn students, do whatever it took never to feel the pain of those hexes or experience his own Sectumsempra used against him.

Dear Merlin, at the time of his death, was that cruse his greatest contribution to the academic world? Sure the researchers had mentioned other potions he had created, but some of them may have known someone affected by the curse. It was inevitable during the war.

His glow dulled. No matter what he did, he was still a murderer. Nothing could ever change the fact that he created a spell which would slice one’s skin, and had the potential to be fatal. Even if it wasn’t fatal, it was intended to maim and scar for life. It was a wonder the demons hadn’t come up asking him for advice on how to improve their techniques.

Despite all of that, Hermione loved him.

He turned pink. Hermione loved him in spite of his sordid history. She was crazy for doing so, but she loved him for who he was. How could he ever repay her for that?

Severus couldn’t give her anything but his love. She was more than eager to take it.

He would call her a silly Gryffindor for desiring so little, but he had too much respect for her to do so. She was someone who knew what she wanted, and had terrible enough taste to want him. He was a lucky spirit indeed.

He turned his attention to where his genitalia had once been. As expected, there was no sign he’d ever been a man.

After staring at himself for what felt like hours he picked up his robe. At least now he knew more fully how his new form appeared.

He couldn’t help but wonder what Hermione would think of it. Would she regret falling in love with him upon seeing it, or would she overlook the scars and see the man she loved?

He feared her answer.

***

Hermione sat at her desk, a shipment order before her. After reading the words, she took a black quill from an ink pot and picked it up, exposing her arm.

Her stomach sank as the word “mudblood” was made visible.

She rolled up her sleeve and glanced around the room. In silence, she cast the glamour over her arm and resumed working.

After signing the forms she leaned back in her chair and sighed. As she stared at the ceiling, her mind wandered to a certain spiritual potions master who she planned on seeing that evening…

Her lips curled up as she imagined him standing over her as she tasted her latest creation, chicken noodle soup. He would give her a quick touch of the shoulder, just enough for her to feel his love. She would giggle and reach up to grab a bowl.

Only to realize she had forgotten to cast the glamour.

Severus’ glow turned forest green as his eyes fell upon it. “How long have you had that?”

“Since the end of the war.” Her stomach would be in knots.

“Who gave it to you?”

“Bellatrix.”

“How did she give it to you?”

“The Snatchers captured me a couple of months before you died. Bellatrix tortured me for hours. Once she was done casting Crucitas curses she pulled out a cursed knife and carved that word into me.”

“It’s hideous,” he hissed.

She bowed her head.

“I cannot believe how foolish I am being.”

She looked up.

He pointed to her arm. “I have a chance to dwell amongst the angels, yet I am foregoing it for this.”

Her eyes welled with tears.

“I cannot believe what a dunderhead I am.” He scowled. “To think I am giving up heaven for someone so revolting.”

“Revolting?” Hermione cried.

“There is no need for an echo.”

“Well, excuse me for not being as perfect as an angel!”

“Oh you’re excused.”

“What right do you have to judge me?” She pointed to his neck wound. “You are scarred too.”

“True, but there are angels willing to look past that for me.” He sneered. “I could have any one of them I wanted. In fact, a few have even visited me.”

She felt the color drain from her face.

“Why would want I want someone scarred when I can have someone perfect?” His hair shortened and grew more red. Freckles appeared on his face as his glow diminished. “What man could ever want you, ‘Mione?”

A tear fell from her eye.

“You were never good enough for me. I was so bored with you. What makes you think any man could truly want you?”

“I thought Severus loved me.”

“If I, your oldest and dearest friend, couldn’t love you, how could he?”

“Hermione?”

Her throat constricted.

“Hermione! Are you there?”

She jolted from her reverie.

“Hermione?”

“Coming!” She darted from her chair and peeked into the fireplace. “Sorry about that. What do you need, Harry?”

“Luna’s in labor!”

“She is!” Her face lit up as she folded her hands.

“Yes, she is and,” Harry took a deep breath. “I’m going to be a father.”

“You are!”

“Oh Merlin,” he whispered. “I’m going to be a father.”

“Yes, you are!”

“I can’t.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe this.”

“Why not? You’ve been preparing nine months for this.”

“I know, but a dad? Me, a dad?” he gulped.

“Aren’t you excited about this?”

“Of course I am, but it’s all happening so quickly. I…I don’t know if I’m ready for any of this.”

“Of course you’re ready. You have the crib, the bottles, the nappies, the stroller…”

“No, I mean.” Harry gulped. “I think I’m going to be a horrible father.”

“Why?”

“There is no one to turn to for advice. I don’t remember my parents, and the Dursleys were less than loving. What if I have no idea what I’m doing and I harm the baby?”

“Do you love your baby?”

“Of course I do.”

“Do you trust Luna to help you raise the child?”

“I trust her with my life.”

“Then you’re going to be fine.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” She smiled.

“Thanks.” His face glowed. “I just can’t believe it. I’m finally going to have my son. I’m going to be a dad!”

“Yes, but if you want to see him you’d better get off the floo with me and get in the room with Luna.”

“Yes of course I should.” He exhaled. “I’ll let you know when he’s born.”

“I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Yes and,” his voice was softer. “And thanks.”

“Anytime.”

With that the fire died. Hermione’s eyes were glistening.

She couldn’t wait to be a godmother again!

***

In the corner, a spirit glowed as bright as the Northern star.

He couldn’t wait to meet his godson’s baby!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	68. Chapter 68

Even across the room Severus was inundated from the happiness emitting from Sirius’ aura. Although Severus was reluctant to call the sensation he felt warmth, it was something which forced his lips upwards. If he had a heart, Severus knew it would be fluttering and his magic would be strong enough to cast a Patronus based on Sirius’ energy alone. He expected to feel this type of emotion from Hermione, but not from Sirius.

Thank goodness Severus had put his robe back on what he guessed hours before Sirius arrived. The last thing he needed was to deal with a giddy Sirius ribbing him about his appearance. Then again given that his glow was so intense that his facial features were barely distinguishable from each other, he may not notice something as insignificant as Severus.

“Hermione may not be able to meet with you tonight,” Sirius began.

“Why not?” Severus furrowed his eyebrows. So help him if Black was giddy about a possible misfortune...

“Luna is having her baby today!” Sirius was shimmering. “Harry is going to be a godfather!”

“Oh joy, more Potters,” Severus muttered.

“Depending on when the baby is born, she may go see him. If she is gone, don’t be surprised.”

“Did she communicate that she’d be gone?”

“Not in so many words.”

“So you finally are reading between the lines.”

Sirius made no indication that he’d heard Severus. He folded his hands and looked up to the sky. “St. Pete! St. Pete! Where are you?”

The saint materialized before him, a frown etched on his face. He squeezed his golden staff as he stepped towards Sirius. After one step, the saint’s glow went from red to yellow. His grip on the staff was loosened.

“Thank you for coming,” Sirius began.

“Usually I don’t appreciate being summoned,” St. Peter began. “But this seems quite important.”

“I have two favors to ask.”

“Only two,” Severus smirked.

St Peter gave Severus a look. The spirit glanced at a book, deciding it was best not to interrupt.

“First,” Sirius kept his gaze on St. Peter. “Can I take a night off to watch over Luna Potter?”

“Why does she need someone to watch over her?”

“Because she’s having my godson’s baby!”

“Congratulations!” St. Peter’s eyes lit up. “It’s always so happy when a new baby is born.”

“Yes, and given that I was Harry’s godfather, I would like to be there for him.”

“Well, it doesn’t directly pertain to your mission, but you are not confined to Purgatory either.”

“I know I’m not supposed to do anything which doesn’t pertain to Hermione…”

St. Peter held up his hand. Severus’ eyes grew when Sirius closed his mouth. Was the dog finally learning when to stay silent?

What kind of day was this?

“Dismas has allowed Severus just outside of heaven’s gate on several occasions. This does not seem to be much different.” St. Peter nodded. “So long as the Trinity does not object to you being present for the birth, I will allow it.”

Sirius’ face became clearer due to the lessening of his glow. “How will I know if the Trinity has disapproved of me seeing Harry’s baby?”

“They’ll let you know,” St. Peter looked up at the sky. “But I have a feeling they want Harry to be surrounded by as much love and support as he can be.”

“Speaking of love and support,” Sirius continued. “Does James know he’s about to be a grandfather?”

“Most likely, no.”

“Can I tell him he’s a grandfather then?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Sirius’ glow returned to its normal hue.

“Souls in Purgatory are not allowed to travel from one level to another on a whim. Since you are in the program, you cannot just visit any tier and return.”

“Fine, but does James knows he’s a grandfather then?”

“More than likely, no," St. Peter answered. "Souls in Purgatory do not interact with earthly souls. They should be focused on repenting of their sins, not on the cares of the world.”

“But James deserves to know he’s had a grandson.”

“He also deserves five hundred years in Purgatory for sloth and cruelty.”

“True, but isn’t the Trinity about mercy? Can’t some mercy be shown in this case?”

Severus cocked his head. Since when did Sirius know anything about the nature of the Trinity given that earlier it had barely registered with him that Jesus would be offended by laughing at a hanging? Was he actually paying attention to what people in the afterlife were telling him, or had he cracked open a book while on earth?

Had Potter having a son really changed Sirius that significantly in the span of a few hours?

“The Trinity is all merciful,” St. Peter explained.

“I know, but James would really love knowing he has a grandson. I mean,” Sirius’ voice cracked. “He died protecting Harry. It would make him so happy to know he has a grandson. It would make his sacrifice mean more than it already does.”

Even Severus had to admit Black made some good points. Despite the lingering ill will towards James, he believed James’ sacrifice for his son should mean something.

“James is on the fourth terrace of Purgatory, meaning he’s dealing with records," St. Peter began.

“Like birth records?”

“No, he’s doing intake on souls entering Purgatory in addition to ensuring that hell has all the supplies it needs.”

“What supplies does hell need?”

“Ice,” Severus cut in.

The other two turned to him.

“I asked Dismas about how Dante got to hell. He mentioned free ice,” Severus explained.

“Dismas always was a bit of a chatterbox,” St. Peter muttered.

"Why he not supposed to tell anyone that?"

"It's something we would've preferred to keep quiet." If St. Peter could've sighed, he would've.

“Where does hell have ice?” Sirius shook his head. “No, never mind. I’ll ask later. Right now, I need to get down to see Harry, just as soon as I get this James situation worked out.”

“Form A1 gets mixed in with others sometimes,” St. Peter mused.

“What is form A1?” Sirius asked.

“When someone is born, a new form is created. We have to assign them a guardian angel who watches them from heaven. The final assignment is processed in Purgatory via the A1 form.”

“Meaning someone needs to go down to Purgatory and get it processed,” Sirius’ glow was yellow as a dandelion.

“There are some fairly sensitive forms I need processed. I was going to have Raphael take them down, but I could use a break from my gatekeeping duties.”

“Yes, breaks are excellent.”

“I’ll take the forms down, along with this little baby’s birth announcement. If I somehow get the A1 for mixed up with the others and hand them all into James.” St. Peter’s eyes gleamed. “I am an old saint. Accidents are expected happen. Surely Uriel can sort everything out.”

“Oh thank you!” Sirius embraced St. Peter.

Severus’ eyes grew as their essences drew closer. The closer they got, the less distinguishable their bodies were. Perhaps love did not bind them, but if love was involved in such a fusion, if he could have that type of connection with Hermione...

St. Peter laughed and backed away. “You are very welcome, Sirius.”

“Anyway, I need to go. Wish me luck. Er,” Sirius’ glow pulsated. “Wish Luna luck. She probably needs it more”

“I am sure the Trinity and Raymond are looking over her.”

“Raymond?” Severus asked.

“He’s the patron saint of childbirth,” St. Peter explained.

“Thank him!” Sirius exclaimed. “Thank you! Goodbye!”

The room darkened when Sirius left.

St. Peter turned to Severus. “How are you feeling?”

“I am well,” Severus shrugged.

“You appear to be lost in thought.”

“I am simply wondering if Hermione will be present in her house tonight.”

“I suppose you’ll have to go down and see for yourself. If she is there, she may appreciate the company. It must be hard to await the birth of her godson.”

“I would imagine it is,” Severus replied.

With that, St. Peter vanished, leaving Severus alone in the room, contemplating the implications of another Potter in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the patron saint of childbirth is a man named Raymond Nonnatus, or No Birth. He was born via c-section, which in the thirteenth century meant he wasn't technically born. He spent most of his life freeing Christian slaves before being taken captive himself. He died after being ransomed by his order.
> 
> Thank you for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	69. Chapter 69

It was the fourth time in as many minutes that Hermione shot a glance at the fireplace. The flames crackled, but they did not expand. At no point did she hear Harry’s voice or see his ashen face. She was uncertain how good of an omen this was.

“If you add strawberry ice cream to the lacewing flies you could create a lovely laxative,” Severus drawled from across the sofa, not looking up from the parchment in his hands.

“Strawberry ice cream sounds brilliant.” She redirected her attention to the fireplace.

“Once we add it, we can throw in a sprig of cilantro and a head of broccoli.”

“Yes , we can… wait a second…” She furrowed her eyebrows before turning to him.

Severus lowered the parchment and smirked.

“Arse,” She muttered.

“Would you have me any other way?”

“No.” She relaxed “I would not.”

“All that being said,” Severus set the parchment atop a stack of books on the nearby coffee table. “We can forego researching tonight. It is clear that your mind is elsewhere, though I cannot criticize you for it.”

“I think it’s best that we forego researching, unless you think strawberry ice cream is a viable laxative.”

“Sadly I do not.” Severus slid closer to her. “Though it would make a wonderful dessert.”

“Indeed.” She sighed before sneaking another glance at the fireplace.

Crookshanks strutted across the room. He took one look at the fireplace, wondering why it was receiving such attention. Upon finding it unworthy of his interest, he stretched and lay down on the faded red rug.

“I’m sorry I’m not better company,” She began. “My mind keeps wandering to Harry and Luna. They’ve wanted a child for so long. It’s nice to see them finally living out their dream.”

“Did they have fertility issues?”

“Not that I’m aware of, but I know the one thing that helped Harry through the war was the thought that he may start a family someday. Sometimes I think he nearly sacrificed himself for his child, nobody else.”

Severus hummed.

“He’s desperately wanted any kind of family for some time. Yes, he has Luna, but he’s always wanted someone to call him, ‘Daddy,’ someone who looks at him not as The-Boy-Who-Lived, but as a great man in his own right.”

He twisted his lower lip.

“You have no interest in any of this, do you?” Hermione frowned.

“I actually take a great deal of interest in this topic,” his glow pulsated.

“But…”

“My feelings on all of this are,” he tugged at his robe. “Complicated.”

“Because of how Harry cleared your name.”

“Amongst other things.”

She kept her silence. He would either tell her what was on his mind or change the topic.

“I was furious when I learned of Harry’s conception,” his glow turned blue. “We both know how I reacted.”

She bit her lower lip.

“My fury almost killed Potter. It took years to understand that, and even longer to feel as if I needed to atone for that somehow.”

“You more than atoned for what happened.”

“Perhaps, but it does not change the fact that had I gotten my way all those years ago,” his voice was quieter. “This newborn may not exist.”

She ran her hand along the couch.

“When I gave Voldemort that prophecy, I did not consider that I could have harmed an innocent child. Truth be told, even when I dreamed of a life with Lily, I didn’t even consider raising Potter. In my mind, he would just disappear.” He shook his head. “As if Lily would ever forget her own child.”

“You were angry, and not thinking clearly.”

“Does that excuse my actions?”

“No,” she admitted. “But it does no good to look back and regret them now.”

“Everyone would have been much better off had I kept my mouth shut.” His glow darkened.

“Perhaps, or James and Lily may have died some other way when Harry was still an infant.”

“It would not have been at my hands though.”

“No, but then who could have spied for us?”

“There may have been others.”

“But would anyone have been as dedicated as you?”

He pursed his lips together.

“You have atoned for your sins. Even Harry would say that.”

“Sometimes I wonder how he could ever forgive me,” He whispered. “Or even why he would do so.”

“Are you upset with him at least in part because you cannot bring yourself to accept his forgiveness?”

Severus’ glow was white.

“When Harry cleared your name, it was proof that he’d forgiven you. Do you feel unworthy of it, so you’re taking it out on him?”

His glow flickered.

“You need to learn to accept forgiveness,” she tapped his hand, sending a jolt of serenity through them both. “Harry forgives you, and I forgive you. Now it’s time for you to forgive yourself.”

“I’ve done horrible things, things which if you ever discovered would lead you to hate me.”

“I know enough about you to hate you, just as you know enough about me to hate me. Still, we love each other, which is what’s most important.”

“I am unworthy of your love.”

“One could say I’m unworthy of yours.”

“How?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I’m bossy, sometimes sullen, and have a penchant for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time,” she began.

“Those statements could equally apply to me.”

“Exactly, but I love you completely. I love you for who you are, even if you are a stubborn, snarky spirit who is prone to bouts of depression.”

“I love that you’re a persistent witch who has a knack for dragging me out of my moods.” He leaned in closer to her.

She brushed her lips against his essence. Before he could lean in closer, the fireplace erupted.

“Hermione?”

Hermione broke away, tears in her eyes.

“Hermione! He’s here! I have my son! I have a son!”

It was the floo call she’d waited all night for.

***

“Where are my cars?”

James suppressed a groan. There were few demons he enjoyed interacting with less than Ahpuch. Just his luck that they always sent him to demand new supplies for hell.

“We have fifteen reckless drivers coming down in the next two weeks!” He shouted over the cacophony of the angels, demons, and other souls in the waiting room behind him. “Fifteen! We need those cars for their punishment now!”

“I heard you.” James grabbed the pile of papers in front of him and began shuffling through them.

Ahpuch leaned against the glass separating him from James, exposing his bare skull and bony arms. He slanted his yellow eyes. It was clear he had reached his wit’s end ten hours ago.

James had never been to a Department of Motor Vehicles, but an American soul said it was similar to this. The souls sat at a gray desk with barely enough room to process ten documents, much less the fifty to a hundred he dealt with daily. His black chair was thinly padded, meaning a few times he swore he was getting a backache. How soulsgot backaches he’d never know, because when he asked Uriel barked at him to return to work. A few times he wished he still needed to use the restroom, if only so he could escape the mountains of intake forms.

“Where are the forms?” Ahpuch shouted.

James shuffled through them faster. There had to be at least fifty documents which needed to be processed ASAP. Of course, St Peter had left all of them an hour ago, told him to deal with them, and left without much more said. It was going to take at least a year to get each form in the proper place, and apparently the demon had two weeks for this specific one to be processed.

“Why hadn’t he just done his schoolwork? It would’ve been so much easier than this.

Ahpuch tapped his bony foot and rapped his fingers along the window’s edge.

James picked up a form and moaned. Of course an A1 form would get mixed in. Just his luck…

“You know, I’m getting a little tired of us demons receiving so little respect,” Ahpuch began to nobody in particular. “We take the dregs of the afterlife, give them a place so heaven doesn’t annihilate their existence, and our thanks is that we have to deal with the sloths who wouldn’t understand how to file forms correctly if their afterlives depended upon it.”

James’ eyes widened when he saw the name of the child on the form, just above the name of his father.

“I swear I sometimes wish Armageddon would happen already, if only so we could have a stable number of souls to deal with. Of course Satan got himself stuck in ice, and we can’t do anything without his sorry arse. Idiot just keeps flapping around. I swear by the time he gets out everyone will just say screw it and decide not to fight because he isn't a worthy enough leader...”

James beamed and clasped his hands together.

“You’d better be happy because you found my form.”

“I’m a grandfather!” He announced.

The room fell silent.

“I’m a grandfather!” James stood and held out his arms. “I’m a grandfather!”

“Fabulous," Ahpuch deadpanned. "That does not bring me any closer to having the cars I need for the reckless drivers.”

James frowned. “You know, you’re a real killjoy.”

“And you’re a terrible employee.”

“Did I hear someone talking about a grandson?” An angel stepped out from a steel door behind James.

“Yes," James was a blinding yellow. "I’m a grandfather!”

"How would you know that?" The angel asked.

"I got my grandson's A1 form right here!"

“Which means you need to refile it in the proper place," the angel noted.

“Oh no! He is giving me my cars first!” Ahpuch argued.

“This form is urgent.”

“My cars are urgent.”

James held his head and moaned.

The demon and angel glared at James. In unison, they shouted, “Why aren’t you working?”

James stood to refile the form, still clinging to the joy he felt at the thought of having a grandson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interesting fact about Ahpuch, he was the Mayan god of death, ruler of the underworld, and the god of childbirth. He wasn't a kind god by any means, but there is something interesting about ruling over beginnings and endings.
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very appreciated!


	70. Chapter 70

Sirius stood over Luna, gazing at the infant in her arms. His slivery blue eyes were the only noticeable difference between him and his father. Already there was a spark of curiosity in them, the same spark Sirius had seen in James when he had a brilliant idea.

“Are you hungry, or did you see your first fairy, James?” Luna held her infant closer to her chest.

He puckered his lips.

“It would be wise for you to eat first. Sometimes faries get intimidated by hungry people. They mistakenly believe they’ll be eaten, but you’d never do that, would you?”

James’ face turned red as he squirmed.

She adjusted her green hospital gown until she could grant him access. “There you go, my little heliopath.”

“Okay.” Harry stepped into the room, with the widest smile Sirius had ever seen. “Hermione said she’d be here in a half hour. She just needs to wrap a few things up.”

“That’s fine.” Luna helped James latch onto her.

“Is he hungry again already?”

“Apparently.”

“Goodness.” Harry sighed. “You’re going to eat everything in sight, aren’t you?”

“Give him a bit of a break. He’s just been born. I’d imagine that was exhausting.”

“True.”

As the infant suckled, he turned in Sirius’ direction. He kept his eyes on the spirit, as though he could see him.

“Hi,” Sirius whispered and waved at him.

There was a flicker of recognition in the infant’s eyes

“I think James just saw his first creature.” Luna’s eyes were glistening.

Harry chuckled.

“He already has an ability to find the magical.” She was beaming. “One day he’ll be better at finding magical creatures than my dad was.”

“I’m sure he will be.” Harry kissed his wife on the forehead.

James whined before turning his attention to his mother. After resuming his meal he turned back in Sirius’ direction.

“He’s looking at something,” Harry began, as if he could not believe the words himself.

“Hmm hmm.”

“What is it?” Harry bent down until he was eyes level with his son. “What do you see?”

The newborn blinked.

“Right now, he sees someone who loves him very much.”

“Your mother’s right.” Harry whispered. “Daddy loves you very much.”

“As do the other magical beings beings in this place.”

“Yes, I’m sure the pixies love him too.”

“I don’t mean those magical beings.”

Harry raised himself until he was eye level with Luna.

“Haven’t you sensed another person’s presence in the room?” She asked.

Sirius turned white. Where did this woman learn to sense spirits? Even Professor Trelawney wasn’t this adept at finding the dead.

Harry closed his mouth. In the hallway, a squeaky medical cart rolled by. Another infant in the room two door down began to screech. The disinfectant spells bombarded his senses. Nothing was out of the ordinary on the surface.

He closed his eyes. Everything faded into the background except his intuition. There was an extra presence in the room, one which had been there the entire time, one he had not felt in years.

“Sirius,” he whispered.

Only the smacking of James’ lips could be heard.

“I sensed him earlier.” Harry opened his eyes. “No, I’ve sensed him since the second James was born, but I didn’t think anyone else did.”

James broke away and began to fuss. Luna readjusted him over her shoulder and began patting his back.

“Do you sense Sirius too?” Harry choked.

“I sense a spirit, and I believe James senses it too. It could be Sirius, but I can’t say for sure.”

“How did you sense him?”

“I was quiet, still, and open to his residual magic.”

Sirius’ glow pulsated.

“It’s been so long since I’ve felt him with me, I almost forgot what it was like.” Harry shook his head. “Perhaps I gave up on ever feeling him again. I didn’t see him on the train when I had my vision of the afterlife, so I figured he may have been too busy to care for me.”

“You knew that wasn’t true.”

“I know.” A tear trickled down his cheek as Sirius drew closer. “I just didn’t think I’d feel him near me again. I just gave up, and now I feel guilty for doing so.”

“Don’t feel guilty. He wouldn’t want that. You can sense him now. That’s all he cares about.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so.”

“I’m not mad,” Sirius replied. “I’m just happy to be with you again.”

Harry exhaled. “I think he’s at peace.”

James let out a small burp.

“There are spirits everywhere,” Luna replied. “You just have to know how to open yourself up to them.”

“Maybe you and James can show me.”

“When you’re ready to feel them, you’ll be able to.”

“I hope so.” Harry pulled up a padded blue chair and sat beside them. Sirius put a hand on his godson’s shoulder.

James let out another burp, this one much louder.

“You’re already making your presence known.” Harry laughed. “Are you going to be just like Sirius?”

“He was named after him,” Luna replied. “Hopefully he will emulate his good qualities.”

Sirius’ smile grew. He never thought anyone would name a child after him. It seemed an honor which should be bestowed upon others.

Perhaps he had done more things right in his life than he received credit for.

“Well, I wouldn’t want him to be as immature as Sirius was, or have the streak of cruelty he displayed towards Severus.”

Sirius bowed his head.

Harry touched his son’s cheek. “But I would like him to have his loyalty and love of life.”

Sirius stared at the baby again. Yes, he wanted James to avoid the mistakes he’d made, if only so he could stay out of this accursed program.

More importantly, Sirius wanted him to leave a positive impression on the world, something he had not done as well as he thought he had. He wanted James to create happiness, not tear down those trying to find it.

Sirius turned his eyes upwards. He folded his hands.

“Trinity, if there is any way I can get a reduced sentence and get to heaven faster, can I please watch over this child?”

He felt a wave of energy radiate through him, as though for the first time, the Trinity had accepted his prayer.

“All done?” Luna asked her silent son.

He let out a whine.

“Would you like to hold him?” Luna looked at Harry.

“I’d love too,” he whispered.

She handed her husband their son. James’ eyes widened before he yawned.

“I love you.” Harry kissed him on the forehead. “I love you so much.”

James’ eyes drooped down.

“I love you too.” Harry kissed Luna on the forehead. “You are amazing in every way.”

“I love you as well,” she replied. “And you are pretty amazing yourself.”

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Hello?” Harry asked.

“I’m sorry if this is a bad time.”

“No, your timing is perfect,” Harry held out his son, who had opened one sleepy eye. “James, this is your Aunt Hermione. Hermione, this is James.”

“Hi James,” she squeaked as she approached.

He closed his eyes again.

“Maybe when he’s more awake you can be properly introduced.” Harry laughed.

“That’s fine.” Hermione reached into her pocket and pulled out a blue box. With the flick of a wand, it grew. “I brought this for James.”

“Thank you.” Harry held his son closer to his chest. “Sadly, I don’t think he can open it yet.”

“Perhaps Luna can then.”

“Yes,” Luna took the blue package and ripped off the wrapping paper. She grinned as she pulled out a Scarlet stag with a yellow underbelly.

“Oh Hermione,” Harry’s throat constricted. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Yes, thank you,” Luna replied. “It will go perfectly with his blue and bronze hare.”

“Yes, it will.” Hermione rubbed James’ hand. He did not so much as stir.

“He’s a deep sleeper, like his mother,” Harry noted.

“I am not that deep of a sleeper.” Luna argued. “I simply haven’t been able to get rid of the Endymion harpy that’s followed me around since the end of the war. Without her, I would wake up at the softest noise.”

“Sure,” Harry drawled.

Hermione leaned down and whispered in James’ ear, “Your parents are weird.”

He shifted his position.

“But we love them anyway.”

James clucked as if to agree.

“We have something to ask you,” Luna replied.

“Oh?”

Harry cleared his throat. “Would you like to be James’ godmother?”

“I would love that,” Hermione’s face lit up.

“Good,” Luna replied.

“But?” Hermione dug her foot into the ground. “Do you have a godfather in mind?”

“Whoever you decide will be his godfather will be good enough for us,” Luna replied.

“Assuming you do choose one,” Harry answered.

“The cloud of gloombugs which have been stalking her has lifted,” Luna’s expression was dreamy. “I think she is more than capable of giving her heart to someone now, assuming she hasn’t done so already.”

Hermione blushed.

“I just hope you’re as happy as we are someday, however that looks for you,” Harry replied.

“I’m starting to find that happiness,” Hermione’s voice was soft.

“Good,” Luna replied. “Fight for that happiness. Whatever it takes, hold onto that happiness and don’t let anyone take it from you.”

“I won’t,” Hermione promised.

Sirius’ glow was a radiant. He never thought he’d see a child named after him, nor did he ever think he’d hear a woman honestly claim Severus Snape was bringing her happiness. The afterlife was strange indeed.

He glimpsed at James again.

Life was strange and wondrous indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	71. Chapter 71

Severus once heard someone say when you became a parent, you were bombarded with memories of your own childhood. It was too late for him to have his own child, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t relive the worst nights of his life by looking at the smallest Potter.

“This is the first time I held him.” She set the picture in the middle of the table on top of a pile of research notes. Her eyes glistened. “Isn’t he just the cutest little thing?”

The baby opened his silver eyes. He opened his mouth as if to begin wailing because he’d been so rudely awakened, but then he saw the camera. Severus swore the child was attempting to smirk, as if he was already a showman.

He was definitely James’ grandson.

“He was so quiet in my arms.” Hermione exhaled. “I think he was startled when I first held him, but he settled himself right now and was silent the whole time.”

“A Potter was actually capable of silence?” Severus’ glow brightened.

“Very funny," she chuckled.

Severus grinned.

Hermione set another picture to the right of the first. “Here’s one of Luna holding him.”

Severus’ glow dimmed as the child looked into the camera, his expression much more serene. Instead of focusing on the camera, his entire attention was on his mother cooing sweet nothings.

“My books say he won’t be able to smile for another couple of months, but I think he was quite happy around him mother. In fact, I think he’s already a Mummy’s Boy.”

Hermione’s voice was just an echo in Severus’ head as he stared at the picture of the youngest Potter in his mother’s arms. The child, looked like Harry, and by extension the elder James, yet had his mother’s eyes. It was as if the Trinity had copied the Potter template from one generation to another.

James’ silver-blue eyes transformed emerald green. Luna’s hair became a shade of red, and her face became freckled.

“Here’s one of Harry holding him.”

Severus was too lost in his thoughts to see what was before him. 

“Severus?”

If the Trinity held his fantasies against him, he could not entirely blame them. Most Halloweens, Severus would retreat into his bedroom and imagine holding an emerald eyed baby in his arms. The child would have his jet black hair and slight smirk. At the time, he thought his life would be perfect if that child existed in place of Potter. Now he knew better…

“Severus!”

His glow went white as he looked up.

“What’s on your mind?”

He considered saying, “nothing,” but knew she would not accept that as an answer. Instead he shook his head. “I am just reconsidering some things.”

“Like?”

Severus stared at her, the words lost somewhere between his mind and tongue.

Hermione slumped into the chair across from him and put her hands above her mouth. “Oh God, I didn’t even think about what seeing James would do to you.”

His glow was dimmer.

“I’m a dunderhead.” She collected the pictures. “I am such a dunderhead. Forget about all these. We’ll do something else.”

“No, I am happy to see images of your godson.” His glow was a softer shade of yellow. “It warms my heart to know that James has such an amazing godmother.”

“But he still reminds you of Lily and everything you lost.”

“To a degree,” Severus folded his hands. “Though honestly there’s more of Luna in him than I think Potter realizes.”

“Because he has her eyes?”

“That, and, in the last picture, he had her dreamy expression.”

Hermione laughed as she took out the last one she had placed onto the table. “He does, doesn’t he?”

“Indeed he does.”

“Luna said James was already seeing magical creatures.” She set the picture down. “How she could know that, I have no clue. According to my books, he shouldn’t be able to see ten inches in front of him.”

“Perhaps those books are mistaken. After all, it is difficult to interview an infant to know exactly what they can and cannot see.”

“True, but the science seemed conclusive.”

“There may be something behind it then.”

“I’d think so but.” Hermione set the photos back onto the table. “Luna said she didn’t read any of the baby books I gave her because she trusted her instincts. At the time I scoffed at her. What if she was onto something though?”

“So do you believe in pixelcorns now?”

“No, but one never knows.”

Severus examined her. Despite the serious turn their conversation had taken, there was still a glimmer in her eyes. The child had made her happier than she had been in years.

She could never have a child with him.

“What are you thinking about now?” Her voice was quiet.

“Are you certain you want an answer?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I did not.”

He twisted his lower lips.

“Please, tell me what is wrong,” she whispered.

“There is something about our arrangement I am considering.”

“What?”

“If you remain with me, you will never have a child.”

“Oh.” The glimmer was extinguished from her eyes.

“I would imagine that is unacceptable for you,” His glow turned blue. “Perhaps it should be. After all, you are young. You should be given the chance for a family….”

“You aren’t the reason I can’t have children.”

He closed his mouth.

“I didn’t tell Ron this because I didn’t have the courage, but I’ve known for a long time.” A tear came to her eyes, “I am sterile.”

His glow was a darker shade of blue.

“When Bellatrix tortured me, she cast some sterility hexes upon me. At the time I didn’t know what was going on. They were in a language I didn’t recognize. Even if they were in English or Latin,I was in so much pain I couldn’t keep track of what she was saying. When I was looking at getting married to Ron, I went in for a physical examination. It was there that I found out,” Hermione’s throat tightened. “They found irreparable damage done to my uterus and fallopian tubes. If I were to become pregnant it would either be a ectopic pregnancy, or result in a miscarriage.”

He tapped her hand, sending a jolt of love through her.

“Thank you,” she gave him a small smile. “I’ve learned to accept it over the years.”

“Does anyone else know?”

She shook her head. “I didn’t think it was anyone else’s business.”

“It isn’t.”

“I’ve made my peace with adopting children, assuming I find anyone to raise them with me and is willing to have children that way.”

“I wish I could give you children, biological or adopted.”

“I know, and I thank you for your concern.” She brushed the tear away. “But I would rather have you and my godchildren than raise a child with someone I don’t actually love. It would be unfair to everyone involved if I tried the latter.”

"Godchildren?"

"I'm Scorpius' godmother as well."

“Oh."

Silence fell between them.

“If I seem to go overboard on spoiling my godchildren though, that’s why." Her voice was soft. "They’re probably the closest I will get to having a child, which in many ways suits me just fine.”

“I haven’t seen you with any children, but from what I can tell, you are amazing with them.”

“I try to be my best with them.”

“Is there any part of you that wants a child though?”

“I won’t lie, I’ve thought about it, but,” her lips curled up. “Then I hear Scorpius throwing a fit, see Cassie refuse to sleep, or smell James’ poop. Then it isn’t as appealing.”

Severus smiled as his glow returned to its usual hue.

“I am happy with us as we are. If I never have a child, then I have accepted it. As long as we are together, then I am happy.”

“So long as you are content.”

“I am more than content.” She put her hand over his.

Severus could feel in her energy that she meant every word. This only intensified the joy and peace coursing through his essence.

“I did have something to ask you.” Hermione released him.

“Anything,” he whispered.

“Will you be James’ godfather?”

He sat up straighter as his glow flickered. “I did not know you had any power over that.”

“Harry and Luna said since I was his godmother, I could choose his godfather.”

“How...unconventional.”

“I think they want me to get married and announce my husband as his godfather.”

“That is another thing to consider: you won’t be able to get married if you remain with me.”

“Oh I won’t have the headache of planning an enormous ceremony and blowing thousands of dollars on one day?” Her voice was dry. “How awful.”

Severus couldn’t help but smirk. There was a reason he had fallen in love with this witch.

“Even if we weren’t together,” she continued. “Nobody deserves to be James’ godfather more than you. I would love it if you would watch over him as his godfather.”

“Do you plan to tell Harry and Luna that I am to be this child’s godfather?”

“I may wait for a more opportune time to share that piece of information.”

“That may be for the best.”

“Perhaps,” she replied. “But will you do it? Will you be his godfather?”

“It would be a great honor.” He smiled.

“Thank you.” Her expression matched his. “You will be an amazing godfather, even if he can't exactly see you.”

“I will do what I can anyway.”

“I know you will.” She relaxed.

Severus looked at the woman across the table from him. She was the one person who'd given him any happiness. The only time he'd ever felt any kind of peace was when he was with her. It mattered little that they hadn't gotten close until after his death. They were together now. What else mattered?

“What are you thinking about now?” She asked.

He brushed his lips against hers and whispered, “How much I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	72. Chapter 72

How hard could it be to find Severus?

Cormac threw another parchment onto his Burgundy carpet. It became lost amongst the other thirty in the same area. There were still fifteen in a pile to the right of his desk, but if this last one was anything to go by, they wouldn’t offer any additional insight.

Cormac slumped into his leather, wingback chair and scowled. In the last three months, he’d found a host of people named Severus. At the time he’d been somewhat jubilant. The more entries, the more likely one of them was his culprit. This illusion was shattered within a few days.

Severus was amongst the top five most popular names for boys for the last six years, reaching its peak in popularity last year when it was number one. Everyone from every house was naming their son Severus in honor of their fallen hero. It was as if everyone had forgotten that Severus Snape was a snarly professor and now believed the pope should consider him for sainthood.

It was enough to churn his stomach.

That left him with this inflated list. It was highly unlikely Hermione was dating a four year old, and even more unlikely that a child could have subdued him.This left him with few other options.

He picked up another parchment. This Severus was over the age of a hundred, his cigarette habit making it appear as if he was a century older. It was doubtful Hermione would ever look in his direction, nor was it possible that he could assault anyone and leave a mark as Cormac’s Severus had.

There was another Severus who was twenty-four, and quite handsome. It was unlikely that he was Hermione’s boyfriend given that for the last six months he was in prison for forbidden potions charges.

Who could it be though?

Cormac tapped the armrest. Something wasn’t adding up, but what could it be?

He stood and stomped towards the bedroom. A good night’s sleep would make his search clearer, or so he told himself every night for the last three months. He extinguished the candle on his wall and sneered.

Severus couldn’t hide forever.

***

“Of more to greater, and of less to smaller/In every heaven, with its Intelligence.”

Hermione relaxed as Severus ran his finger along the lines of _The Paradisio_. She lay out on the couch while he sat on the edge.

“Even as remaineth splendid and serene/The hemisphere of air, when Boreas/Is blowing from that cheek where he is mildest,” Severus was purring out the words.

Hermione curled her toes. Even months after he began reading to her he had no idea what his voice could do. If she had known what his voice could do, her professor crush would have been on Severus, not Lockhart.

“Because is purified and resolved the rack/That erst disturbed it, till the welkin laughs/With all the beauties of its pageantry…”

She could envision her and Severus atop a cloud, taking in the shimmering star light. In the distance they would hear the triumphant glorias. Even if they were surrounded by saints, they would only see each other. Only the Trinity would surpass their love in beauty.

“Thus did I likewise, after that my Lady/Had me provided with her clear response,/And like a star in heaven the truth was seen.”

Hermione would never be Beatrice. She had accepted that years ago, even if Severus did not. He may not be Dante, but their love was no less passionate or real.

“And soon as to a stop her words had come/Not otherwise does iron scintillate/When molten, than those circles scintillated.”

She closed her eyes and sighed.

“That is enough reading for tonight.”

“What?” She opened her eyes.

He closed the book.

“You cannot do that to me. You can’t have me all that excited only to stop."

“You appeared fatigued though.”

“I was relaxed and in love.”

“Regardless, you should be more focused. Within the hour your laxative will be ready to put into the crescent moonlight. I do not think you should sleep through that step.”

“I could always ask you to do it while I relax. You are allowed to touch everything in my lab after all.” Her grin grew.

“While your every wish is my desire.” He tapped her, sending a jolt of adoration through her body. “At some point you need to learn to create your own potions.”

“I know how to create my potions just fine.” She sat up. “Still, I could listen to your voice all day. I will forever be grateful to Sirius for suggesting you read to me.”

“Even he cannot be wrong all the time,” his glow slightly dimmed.

“Severus.” She laughed. “There’s no need to be rude to him.”

“I am being honest, not rude.”

She giggled as he gave her a small smile.

After she caught her breath, she continued, “You don’t talk like he’s the worst roommate in the universe anymore.”

“He has gotten become more…tolerable over the last few months.”

“Just more tolerable?”

“Yes.”

“I suppose that’s better than we thought he would be.” She exhaled.

“Indeed.”

She moved her legs so he could sit beside her. He shifted his position before putting the book on the coffee table.

“Can I ask you something without seeming too needy?”

“It depends on the question.”

“Have you,” she swallowed. “Have you ever considered staying the night here?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“There was a dream I had where I woke up in your arms.” She blushed. “Actually, I’ve had quite a few dreams like that.”

His glow grew brighter.

“I fantasize about it more often than I should really.” She wrung her hands. “It’s been so long since I’ve woken up next to someone I love. Actually, I haven’t woken up with anyone in years, unless you count Crookshanks.”

Across the room, the half-kneazle meowed and glared at her, as if to say he very much counted as a person.

“I thought it would be nice to wake up to someone I loved again.”

His glow flickered.

“I don’t know if you have a curfew, and if you do, that is acceptable. I was just wondering if you wanted to stay the night sometime.”

“Staying the night implies that we have done something, uh, carnal.”

“I know, and obviously we cannot, but I would still like the companionship.”

“I would love more time with you as well, if only because it would buy me time away from Black.”

“But you’d be bored to death since you can’t sleep beside me.”

“No,” he replied. “I would read a book or whisper sweet nothings in your ear, just to ensure you have the most pleasant dreams possible.”

“Can spirits control dreams?” Her body tingled at the thought of what types of dreams he could create in her.

“It’s doubtful given that I cannot possess anyone, but the thought is enticing.”

“It is,” She purred.

Severus’ essence urged him to draw closer to her. He wanted to bury himself under her skin and fuse into her soul. Everything within him yearned to lay bare all his emotions, hopes, fears, desires, and love before her.

It was an intense yearning he had never experienced. It was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

“Are you okay?”

“I am fine.” He straightened his posture. “I would love to spend the night with you, but I feel it should be approved by Dismas and the Trinity first. It would be terrible if you fell asleep and I was recalled to Purgatory.”

“That would be a rude awakening.”

“If they approve, then there is no reason we cannot spend the night together.”

“Then I will pray he and the Trinity approve.”

“As will I.”

Hermione’s wand emitted a red light.

“I think our potion’s ready,” she stood.

“Indeed.” Severus was floating several centimeters from the ground.

“Perhaps when we’re finished with this we can read more Dante.”

“I would like that,” Severus replied, trying to ignore the lingering urge to fuse once and for all with her soul as he had seen the souls do in heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lines for the Paradisio are from the same source I took them from earlier.
> 
> Thank you for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	73. Chapter 73

Sirius lay on the couch, eying Severus with amusement. The black clad spirit was several centimeters off the ground, but his glow was white like a Christmas light. He stared at the ground and bit his bottom lip. A few times his face lit up, only for it to fade a few seconds later.

“Are you going to tell me what happened, or do I need to spend the night guessing?” Sirius asked.

“Why would I tell you anything?” Severus growled.

“Because you like me.” Sirius batted his eyes and smirked.

Severus furrowed his eyebrows, but without a red glow the other spirit was less than intimidated.

“You clearly didn’t get into a fight with Hermione or else you’d be yelling at me.” Sirius stretched. “It’s clear you didn’t say something stupid either, so it’s something else.”

Severus’ frown deepened.

“You have the look of someone who knows he is way out of his league, which isn’t shocking given that you love Hermione and for some unfathomable reason she feels the same way towards you.”

“Do you plan to spend the entire night prattling off armchair psychology, or will you be quiet long enough to allow me to think?”

“You really should be more receptive to this conversation.” He raised his arms. “Sometimes bouncing ideas off another person can help clear one’s mind, help the important things come into focus.”

“In order to converse with one about his problems, the other person needs to be helpful in resolving issues, not a nuisance who will only complicate matters.”

“Oh you’re the one who complicates things. I’ve solved most, if not all, of your issues. I mean,” Sirius’ grin took up half his face. “You wouldn’t have gotten past your first argument with Hermione without me.”

Severus scowled.

“What did she ask you to do?”

Severus rolled his eyes.

“I’m not going to stop asking you what’s wrong until you answer me. So, what did Hermione ask you to do?”

The former professor muttered something.

“What?” Sirius cupped his ear.

“I said she wants me to spend the night with her.”

Sirius jolted upright. His eyes were huge as saucers.

“I was as stunned as you seem to be.”

“Yeah, I never thought any woman would ever ask you to spend the night with her.”

“Indeed,” he drawled.

“You told her, ‘yes,’ correct?”

“I said I would need permission form Dismas, lest I be recalled while she’s asleep.”

“Great plan.”

“So I can come up with great ideas.”

“Even you can’t be completely inept at all times.”

“I’ll have you know…” Severus turned red.

Sirius grinned. He was having too much fun with this banter.

“This may not be a problem anyway. He may not say yes…” Severus noted.

“But if he does you need a plan.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t tell me you have no plan to romance her.”

“I thought we would talk until she grew tired and went to bed.”

“Talk?” Sirius exclaimed.

“Yes,” Severus turned pink. “She enjoys conversing with me, though why I do not know. Most people did not find me a good conversationalist.”

There was a pregnant pause.

Sirius shrugged. “I’m not going to argue with you. If you weren’t the only one here I’d be talking to the third person in the room right now.”

“Thankfully Hermione does not feel similarly to you.”

“You’re right, we’d be screwed if she did.”

“So I figured we would talk, research, and perhaps read.”

“No, no…” Sirius shook his head and held out his hand. “You do not just stay overnight with a woman and talk, and you definitely don’t spend the night researching and reading.”

“I thought we would touch too.”

“The romance is just oozing out of you right now.”

“How is touching problematic?” Severus was now on the ground.

“It isn’t deep enough.” Sirius snapped his fingers. “We need to go deeper, raise the stakes if you will.”

“I’ll have you know that we have a deep experience when we touch.”

“I know, but staying the night means more than a brush on the lips and reading a good story.”

“What would it entail?”

“Something that due to our, uh spiritual anatomy we cannot do.”

Severus’ glow was a soft blue.

“Don’t worry, I’ll think of something,” Sirius rubbed his chin.

“I need to get this venture approved first anyway.”

“Get what venture approved?”

Severus and Sirius turned to the saint. Neither of them were startled.They’d learned that when he felt he was needed, Dismas would find a way to appear.

“Hermione asked me if I could stay the night,” Severus began.

“Oh she did.” There was a twinkle in Dismas’ eye.

“Indeed, she wants to wake up with me beside her,” Severus replied.

“Is there any particular reason for that?” Dismas’ glow lessened. “She is not in danger and in need of your protection, is she?”

“Thankfully that is not the case,” Severus replied. “Cormac has not contacted her in months, and she has not gained anymore abhorrent admirers.”

“That’s so good to hear.” The spark in Dismas’ eyes returned. “But that only leaves the question of why she wants to wake up with you.”

“She told me it has been years since she’s awakened to a friendly face…”

“Oh yeah you’re so friendly,” Sirius covered his mouth and snickered.

Severus shot him a look before continuing, “She thought it would be pleasant to know she is being watched over.”

“So you wanted to ask if the Trinity and I approved?”

“I did.”

“I see.”

Severus glow flickered.

“I would never presume to speak for the Trinity, but given the parameters of the mission and its ultimate goal,” he smiled. “I am thrilled that you want to spend the night with Hermione.”

“You are?” Severus’ glow was white.

“Yes,” the saint replied. “The goal was for you two to form a deep bond. It appears that has happened.”

“They’re bonding alright,” Sirius muttered.

“It is great progress that she wants to spend the night with you.”

“I am glad to hear I’m progressing,” Severus drawled.

“I will ask the Trinity for their ultimate verdict, but I personally see no problem in allowing you spending the night with her.”

“I am happy to hear it.” Severus’ glow intensified.

“That being said, you are not to move in with her. You need to return here a few nights each week, if only so Sirius doesn’t grow too lonely.”

Sirius gave them the most innocent, pathetic expression he could.

“Also, the rules about you leaving her house are the same. Under no circumstances will you be physically allowed to leave the premises. If you step outside you will return here.”

“Understood.”

“Other than that, assuming the Trinity approves of this, I hope you and Hermione have fun with your little sleepovers,” Dismas paused. “Though I do wonder what you will do while she slumbers.”

“I can read and work out certain equations.”

“Then you’ll be spending your time productively.”

“I will be as productive as I can be.”

“If he’s allowed to spend the night with Hermione, can I spend the night watching over James?” Sirius asked.

“Sadly no,” Dismas answered. “Hermione is part of his mission. James is not a part of yours.”

“Fine.” He lowered his head.

Dismas paused, as if awaiting a speech on how the Trinity clearly favored Severus over him. When none came, the saint concluded, “I will expect our weekly meetings to continue as well.”

“They will,” Severus replied. “I have come to enjoy them.”

“Suck up,” Sirius mumbled.

“I have come to enjoy our meetings too,” Dismas’ glow softened.

A comfortable silence engulfed the room.

“Is that the only thing you wanted to ask me?” Dismas asked.

“For now, yes,” Severus replied.

The saint turned to Sirius. “Do you have any questions?”

“No.” Sirius answered.

“Then I’ll leave you two alone to your discussion. I was sorry to interrupt it. It sounded quite interesting.”

“How much of it did you hear before you came in?” Severus was whiter than bleach.

“Just enough to understand to know you that this program is working as intended.”

Before either spirit could answer, the saint disappeared.

“So now that your venture is going to be approved, how do we give Hermione the best night of her life?” Sirius asked.

If Severus’ could’ve sweat, his forehead would be soaked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll think of something,” Sirius promised.

“I’m sorry, but what in the bloody hell do you know about romance?” Severus burst out. “All of your relationships have been one night stands at best.”

“Yes, which means I gave them memorable nights.”

“A deep regret is hardly what I’m going for.”

“I’ll have you know that none of them regretted being with me.”

“Or so they said to your face.”

“I taught you to read to her, didn’t I?” Sirius replied. “That’s worked out, didn’t it?”

“It only works because she likes my voice, not because it was a brilliant idea.”

“That’s about as close as a ‘you were right’ as I’m going to get from you, isn’t it?”

Severus’ expression left no doubt as to his answer.

“Don’t worry. Once you and Hermione set the date, I will have the most spectacular date planned for both of you. When I’m done, Casanova will look like an amateur compared to you.”

“I want to be Hermione’s lover, not somebody who can seduce any woman he lays eyes on.”

“I know.” Sirius’ glow brightened. “Which is why Hermione loves you.”

Severus turned pink again.

“Your first night together will be special, that I promise you,” Sirius replied. Even I’m not sure just how to make it happen yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is deeply appreciated!


	74. Chapter 74

Severus felt like a fourteen year old who was announcing that his parents had approved him for a sleepover. Actually, he hadn’t felt this way even at fourteen. He did not need to ask his parents if he could spend the night at anyone's house because they barely noticed him. Besides, as a fourteen year old he had only wanted to spend time with Lily, a girl who already saw him as an impediment to her social life.

Hermione was no girl, but a full grown women with whom he wanted to unify his essence. The thought of pressing his spirit against her body had consumed his daydreams since Dismas left the room. If Sirius could make this evening worth remembering then perhaps Severus would find something redeemable in him, perhaps even likable…

The slight blush when he told her when he relayed Dismas’ message did elicit a pink glow from him. Why had no man ever expressed how beautiful she was to her face? He knew people were dunderheads, but he never expected to profit so much from their missteps.

“I’m glad you can stay.” She picked at a loose thread on her burgundy afghan. “That will be nice.”

Severus turned white. He wanted to share everything he had with her, and she just believed it to be nice?

“What day do you, uh, want to stay the night?” Hermione asked as she sat up straighter, her back on the armrest of the couch.

“Anytime you’re free.”

“I’m free almost every day.” She let out a forced chuckle. “You’re the only person who sees me every day, other than Beatrice.”

“So you’ve said.”

“Yes.” She bit her lower lip as she turned her attention across the room. “I don’t think Crookshanks has moved once since you came.”

“Is that problematic?”

“No, he’s just having a lazy day.”

In the chipped leather recliner, the orange half-kneazle stretched. He opened one eye, as if he was judging them for their bashfulness. If Severus didn’t love Hermione as much as he did he would give that beast a look would ensure he never looked at him like that again.

“I am glad he is not annoying you, I suppose.” His expression was neutral.

“Yes,” she drawled.

The silence crushed Severus. Clearly she had reconsidered her plan, and had wisely reached the conclusion that she did not believe Severus Snape was a person worth waking up to. He couldn’t blame her.

“Listen,” His glow faded as he turned blue. “If you are having second thoughts about waking up to me, I will not be offended. In fact, we can pretend the idea never came up and resume our comfortable relationship.”

“No!”

He jerked back as his glow brightened.

“I don’t want to reconsider this, I mean, unless you have.” She gulped.

“No, I want this more than anything.”

“Me too, but,” Her blush deepened. “I’m afraid you’ll come to regret it.”

He floated closer to her. “How could I regret even one moment with you?”

“I don’t know. I’m not romantic in a traditional sense. I want to read, research, touch, and just gaze into your eyes.”

“That’s all I want too.” He rested beside her.

“You don’t need to lie. If that itinerary sounds like the dullest thing in existence, I won’t be offended. I can think of something else.”

“Why do you think I would not want to do any of those things?”

“Past experience.”

“With me?”

“No, I told Ron I wanted to read and just be with him, and he laughed at me.” A tear glistened in the fire light. “Then he called me the most boring witch he’d met. I believe the nickname was homely Hermione.”

“You are anything but boring and homely,” Severus answered.

“I would like to think that.” She dropped the blanket. “But I’ve never woken up with anyone but him. I didn’t date anyone until now. It’s been so long I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“If it makes you feel better, I have little clue as to what I’m doing too. I’ve never stayed overnight with a woman.”

She wiped her face.

“Don't get me wrong, I was no virgin. Still, I'm horrible with woman. Anytime I was with one, I knew it was not to last. I was too concerned with spying, and when I was relaxed, I almost always said and did the wrong things to push her away. When I was with a woman, either I left them before I could get too close to ruin anything, or she left because I was too difficult.”

“You are not difficult with me."

"I choose to be friendlier with you. The fact that the Wizarding World doesn't depend on me has improved my mood greatly."

"I suppose it would."

"I never allowed my self to get close to a woman until now. Still, I will make mistakes." He turned blue. "If you cannot accept that, then remaining as we are is a terrible idea."

“As long as you can accept the fact that I make mistakes, then I can accept you making a few."

"I accept you as you are."

“Thank you. I need that assurance because this isn’t a fling for me, but an eternal commitment.” Her voice cracked. “If it is a fling, please tell me so I know where we stand.”

“Hermione, you are anything but a fling.” His voice was soft and tender. “My heart broke every time I thought of you with another man. Eternity is meaningless without you. Heaven is little better than Purgatory if you are not there beside me. I mean it when I say you have captured my heart, and I do not ever want it back. Fairly or unfairly, I want to spend the rest of my existence with you in whatever form it may take.”

“How could it be unfair to want the same thing I want?”

“I am still deceased, and you are quite alive.”

“It won’t be that way forever.”

“I know.”

He pressed his finger onto her hand. Her smile was genuine and serene.

“Do you want to know what I want?” He released her.

“What?” She breathed.

“The night you went out with Dr. Marsh, Dismas took me to the outskirts of heaven. I could see the cosmos from afar. It was very much how Dante described, only somehow more wondrous.”

Her eyes twinkled.

“Perhaps the most wondrous thing was the heavenly spirits. I saw souls merging into one. They became one flame, brighter than all the souls who were unfused.”

“Were they like what Plato descried in _The Symposium_?”

“Somewhat, but they were truly unified a way only Aristophanes could have dreamed of.”

“Did they become four legged monsters?”

“No, they were all one fire, and they could separate whenever they wanted. They were whole in their own so they did not need to remain fused, yet they craved that togetherness. It was as if they’d found some balance earthly souls could not.”

“I can envision that.”

“Still, if we could have that someday, even if it’s five hundred years from now, that is what I want for us.”

“I want it too.” She swallowed. “And we could have it now.”

“How?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I have a soul, so it could be possible to fuse into me.”

Severus’ glow pulsated.

“When we touch, I feel something stir within me. It’s mystical, spiritual, and it overwhelms me. You already touch my soul so much that my essence is somewhat comprised of loving you.”

“Please tell me you don’t regret loving me.”

“Not at all, but it made me realize how much I want to be one with you.”

“It’s going to be different than a carnal connection,” he warned. “At some point, your body may want more.”

“I have ways of dealing with my body,” she replied. “But my spirit wants to connect with you, no matter what forms that takes.”

“Would you like to unify with me on our night together?”

“Yes.” Her face lit up, as if she had her own glow.

“Then our first night together will be our first unity.”

“Then we’ll do it tomorrow night?”

“No.”

She frowned.

“Please do not misunderstand me,” he continued. “I want this more than anything. Everything in me wants to fuse with you now.”

“But…”

“This is our first soul fusion. It should be special, not something unplanned and careless.”

“I had no idea you were such a closeted romantic.”

“I am trying to enter this thoughtfully since this is so new not only to us, but to the universe as a whole. In fact, I cannot recall ever hearing of such a thing happening.”

“I can’t either, although I can look it up.”

He brushed his lips against hers. “I’m sure you could.”

She moaned as she returned the kiss as best she could.

“This time next week, I will have an amazing evening planned. If we are to be the first spirit and human who unify, then let’s make it something even the Trinity will look upon with envy.”

“I can wait then. In the meantime, there are things I could do…”

“You do not need to do anything. All you need to do is be present. Let me woo you like a proper gentleman.”

“That is fine, except you are anything but a kindly gentleman.” She smirked.

“True,” he admitted. “Though for you, I can attempt to behave like one.”

“Don’t deviate too far from who you are. I fell in love with you, not some character from a romance novel.”

“I know you love me for who I am.” He tapped her hand. “I thank the Trinity for that every day.”

She sighed.

“And for the record, I love you just as you are.”

“I know you do,” she breathed.

They gazed into each other’s eyes, both feeling absolute ecstasy in the moment, and absolute uncertainty as to what was to occur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is deeply appreciated!


	75. Chapter 75

Sirius was going to have to get creative. Not only was he limited in the physical items he could use, but he was limited by Severus Snape being…well, Severus Snape.

Under normal circumstances he would advise a man trying to woo a woman to bring her a bouquet of flowers and a box of gourmet chocolates. Given that Severus couldn’t leave Hermione’s house, these were out of the question. That might be for the best. Knowing Severus his “flowers” would be some leftover potions ingredients and his “gourmet” chocolates would have been whatever he could confiscate from a student. He would be completely baffled as to why his partner did not appreciate his efforts, which would lead to him snapping and becoming snarky with her. Things would deteriorate from there.

Yes, it was for the best that Severus could not bring gifts.

Still, that left the question of how to make the evening special. A mortal and a spirit fusing was a cosmic event which deserved more fanfare than a discussion of potions followed by two entities clumsily bumping into each other.

“Would you stay in one place?” Severus turned the page of his book. “I can barely concentrate with you moving about the room.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Sirius stopped and turned a dull red. “I’m only trying to help you make your first night with Hermione special. Coming up with the right plan only ensures me time off of Purgatory. Forgive me if I’m nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” Severus set the book on the couch cushion beside him. “I am the one planning on fusing with her. How do you think I feel?”

“Like you’re about to win the lottery.”

“Or like someone who is going to lose everything once he takes off his robe.”

Sirius’ glow returned to normal.

“I am going to expose myself for her," Severus' voice was softer.

“Are you sure you have to take off the robes?”

“Why would I not? She expects to see all of me. That will involve removing my robe.”

“True.”

“Once I do so she will see every one of my scars.” He turned blue. “Then she will regret ever having spoken to me after my demise.”

“I’m sure that won’t be true,” Sirius replied. "I'm sure she'll still love you, scars and all." 

“What would you know about exposing your scars? You have few, if any.”

“Have your scars been a problem for any other woman?” Sirius smacked his head. “Oh yeah, I forgot, you couldn’t seduce a woman if your life depended upon it.”

“Actually I managed to seduce a few women,” Severus argued.

“How much did you pay them?”

Severus snarled.

“Okay, in all seriousness, did they run screaming from your scars?”

“I glamoured the scars so they were never an issue. Since I cannot use magic that is not an option for me though.”

“Oh.” Sirius twisted his lip. “I suppose I cannot blame you. Knowing how you must have been injured you must have had a lot of them. Yeah, I can’t blame you for wanting to hide them.”

If Severus could’ve sighed, he would have. “She is going to see every scar once I remove my robe.”

“Your robe…”

“She will have an idea of where each and every one of them can from. There will be no way to hide who I was and am for her.”

“Your robe…”

“She will regret ever loving me. I suppose I deserve her abandonment given how I behaved in life. I would be eternally grateful if she remained with me though.”

“Your robe!” Sirius snapped his fingers.

“Have you been listening to a thing I’ve been saying?” Severus was neon red.

“I know how to make everything perfect!” Sirius replied.

“Unless you have scar remover, everything you say is inane chatter.”

“I can’t remove your scars, but I can help you give Hermione a memorable evening.”

“How?”

“It’s going to be hard to pull off, but with some planning I think, no I know, we can do it.”

“Do what?” Severus barked.

“You’re going to dance with her!”

Severus looked at him as if he’d just announced that he was going to turn him into a unicorn.

“Picture this.” Sirius twirled around. “You cook a nice meal for Hermione…”

“She’s supposed to learn how to cook, meaning she will be making the dinner.”

“Okay,” Sirius frowned. “This is Hermione’s night. If you start barking orders at her you’re going to ruin the mood.”

“I don’t bark orders at her. She is such a quick study there is no need to say much of anything to her.”

“Fine, but you’re trying to set yourself apart from every man she’s ever met. Now you can’t tell me Ron ever cooked a dinner for her.”

“I would imagine he did not. From what I understand they lived off of leftovers from Molly’s cooking.”

“Great, so if you cook, you’re pampering her, showing her you care. You’re giving her a much needed break from the cares of her life.”

Severus sat up straighter.

“Then when dinner is done, you hold out you hand as ask her to turn on a radio. She takes your hand, however she can, turns it on, and then you dance the night away.”

“How is a spirit supposed to dance with a mortal?”

“That’s for you to figure out.”

“Why can’t you figure it out? After all, you’re supposed to be the Trinity’s answer to Casanova.”

“Because I can’t touch anything, and I have more important things to worry about.”

“Like what?”

“Like your clothes.”

“What’s wrong with my robe?” Severus glanced down at his outfit.

“Your robe is nice for your every day existence in heaven, but this needs evening needs to be special. You need a tuxedo.”

“Do you think they have tuxedos in Purgatory?” Severus’ expression was impassive.

“Only one way to find out,” Sirius smirked. “St. Pete!”

Nobody came.

“Please St. Pete, we need you!”

Still nothing.

“Pretty please can you come, St. Pete?”

“Well, since you finally asked me so nicely.”

The spirits turned to the saint.

“Great, I need to ask you a favor.” Sirius folded his hands.

“Just one?” St. Pete drawled.

Severus smirked.

“Ha,” Sirius replied. “Listen, we need to give Severus here a tuxedo.”

The saint looked at him as if he’d just asked for a Pegasus.

“I think Severus would really benefit from a tuxedo.”

“How?”

“We are trying to give Hermione a special night.”

“How special?” The saint twisted his golden staff.

“One which will make her Yule Ball seem like a distant memory.”

“What’s a Yule Ball?”

“You don’t want to know,” Severus grumbled.

St. Pete turned to him. “Why not?”

“They were asinine wastes of time, I was forced to supervise on numerous occasions, more than I care to admit.”

“I see.”

“Back to the topic at hand,” Sirius interjected. “I know the wardrobes here are limited, but there has to be something you can do.” 

“You must understand that this is an unorthodox request.” St. Pete returned his attention to Sirius. “The most unusually dressed person is me, and that’s only because somehow I became a pope and the Trinity believed I needed to look the part. If he wants something ornate I could loan Severus one of my robes.”

“You pull off the Midieval Pope fabulously well, you really do,” Sirius stepped closer to him. “But I don’t think that outfit would be appropriate for this occasion.”

St. Pete turned to Severus. “What are your thoughts on the matter?”

“I want a tuxedo.” 

“Do you feel it is as significant for your mission as Sirius seems to believe it is?”

“Honestly.” Severus paused. “Yes.”

“Exactly why do you need it so badly then?”

“Hermione could use a man in her life who wants to dress nicely for her. If a tuxedo will make her happy, then I am willing to wear one” Severus answered.

“Are you certain a tuxedo is going to make her happy?”

“I think it is a step in the right direction.”

“Which direction are you going in exactly?”

“The direction where Hermione is happy!” Sirius interjected.

St. Pete looked at Sirius.

“I know this is difficult to explain to someone who was celibate…”

“Actually I had a wife.”

Sirius’ mouth hung open.

“Did you really think a lowly fisherman couldn’t get a wife?” St. Pete grinned. 

“No, of course not,” Sirius stuttered. “I just never thought of you as in love.”

“In your defense, there’s a reason I spend my time on the outskirts of heaven at the gate instead of looking for her.”

“I am uh, sorry things aren’t so pleasant?” Sirius squirmed.

“Don’t be. I’ve made peace with it, but being married is an often overlooked fact about me,” St. Pete shrugged. “Now, what was I not supposed to be able to understand?”

“A woman wants to feel special every now and then. Severus wants to do that for Hermione. Surely you can understand that.”

“I can,” St. Pete hummed.

“Does this mean I can procure a tuxedo?”

“I can give you one within the hour.”

“Oh thank you,” Sirius grinned.

“Indeed,” Severus gave him a small smile. “I am truly appreciative.”

“Just make sure you use the tuxedo wisely.” St. Pete replied. “And that you return it as soon as you’re done. One never knows when they’ll need it.”

“Amen,” Severus replied.

St. Pete disappeared.

“Great.” Sirius clasped his hands together. “Now all we need to do is help you create a poem for your lady love.”

“A poem?” Severus’ glow dimmed.

“Yes,” Sirius replied as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. “You cannot bring her flowers or chocolate, so we’ll have to settle for a poem.”

“I’m shite at poetry.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“How?”

“Every other word out of your mouth is ‘dunderhead’ and you enjoy dry Aristotle. From those facts alone I know you’re shite at poetry.”

Severus slumped into the couch.

“Fortunately for you, I’m amazing at poetry!”

“Who told you that, Pettigrew?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

“He’s hardly knowledgeable of good literature, much less poetry,” Severus snickered.

“Oh laugh now, but you’ll see in a few nights. When we’re done with Hermione she won’t remember the name of any other man who’s romanced her.”

“I hope so anyway.” Severus turned white.

“I know so. Even you aren’t so incompetent that you could turn a woman who loves you unconditionally away.”

“Do you believe she loves me unconditionally?”

“I do.”

Severus’ glow was pink. 

Sirius tapped his foot. “Now I need to ask St. Pete for quill and parchment, but I’m sure we can think of something.”

Severus’ eyes were dreamy, as if meditating on the idea of obtaining the unconditional love he had always sought.

Sirius smiled. Whatever happened, Severus and Hermione loved each other. That alone would overcome any missteps they make in their quest for a perfect evening.

***

Does he expect me to be naked when we fuse?

Hermione stared at herself in a full length mirror. She had stripped in preparation for bed, but could not bring herself to put on her pajamas.

She ran a finger along the diagonal scar on her chest running from her clavicle to her stomach. A few patches of scars dotted her abdomen, and she knew there were a few on her back. The most disturbing one was on her arm.

Mudblood.

She’d always glamoured it, even when going to bed. It was too hideous to behold, yet could she hide it from him if they were to fuse into one?

The daydream where Severus saw the scar replayed in her mind. His look of disgust was etched into her brain. Even if it wasn’t true, there were some undeniable facts it exposed.

Hermione wasn’t an angel, nor would she ever be. He accepted that for now, but when he was confronted with who she was, would he stay?

Tears welled in her eyes. She wanted nothing more than for him to fuse with her and remain with her for eternity, in whatever form they took. If he rejected the their fusion, if he turned his back on her…

She took a shaky breath and walked away from the mirror. If he couldn’t accept her then he was not a man worth loving. It was best to find out now instead of pinning all her hopes onto him.

She just prayed it didn’t kill her to watch Severus reject her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	76. Chapter 76

“It’s no use.” Hermione threw a red dress onto a pile of other discarded dresses. “I’ll never find something to wear.”

“That’s not true,” Luna pressed a sleeping James closer to her chest. “You just need to think how Severus would think.”

Hermione watched as a pile of ten dresses slipped off her bed. Great, now she had a mess to clean up. What a wonderful start to the evening!

“What color you think he would find appealing?” Luna asked.

“I suppose he likes my black dress.” Hermione muttered.

“Then why don’t you wear that?”

James clucked as if to agree.

“No.” Hermione shook her head. “He’s seen me in that too many times.”

“Has he ever objected to it?”

“No.” Hermione pushed some hangers to her right and resumed scouring her closet.

“Then wear your black dress.”

“What about this?” Hermione pulled out a pastel pink dress.

Luna opened her mouth.

“No,” She threw it onto the pile. “He’d think I was a dunderhead if I wore this.”

“I don’t think he’d think you were a dunderhead.” Luna adjusted her son so she could pull out her wand. “But he would prefer you in black.”

“Why do you insist on black?” Hermione pulled out another dress. She cringed upon seeing the color. Why had she thought pumpkin orange was an attractive hue? At some point she needed to go to the homeless shelter and give them this.

“Because Severus likes it.” After Luna muttered a spell, the dresses on the floor returned to the top of her bed.

James opened one silver eye.

“That dress has meaning for both of you,” Luna continued. “It was the first one you wore for him, and it was the one you wore when you reconciled from your first fight. It is perfect for your first night together.”

“I’m not sure.” She glanced at the purple dress at the bottom of the pile.

James squirmed in his blue blanket.

“Wearing black seems so predictable and boring,” Hermione replied.

“Don’t think of it as boring. Think of it as familiar.”

“It’s boring.”

“It’s comforting that you are not changing who you are.” Luna approached.

Hermione swallowed.

“He won’t reject you.” Luna touched her friend’s hand. “He loves you for who you are. Nothing will change that.”

“How can you be so sure? He hasn’t seen my scars yet,” Hermione whispered.

“And you haven’t seen his. What’s the issue?”

“I don’t think he has scars.”

“Spirits have scars.”

“How would you know?” Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You've never seen a spirit."

"True, but you haven't seen a spirit naked either."

"True."

“Still, I know the scars exist. Even if they aren’t visible then they are within them.”

Hermione felt her heart pound against her chest.

“He isn’t perfect, nor are you. I do believe you are perfect for each other though.”

Hermione sighed and relaxed. “How could I have ever imagined you were a delusional airhead?”

“You prejudged me like almost everyone else did, but I forgive you.”

“Thank you.” Hermione embraced Luna, careful not to squeeze James. “I’m so glad you’re my friend.”

“I am glad you are my friend too.” Luna returned the embrace as best she could.

Hermione broke away and bent until she was at eye level with James. She squeaked. “You have a very wise Mummy. Yes, you do.”

James gave her a lopsided smile.

“Do you have only one black dress?”

“Sadly yes.”

“No, that’s perfect.” Luna replied. “That means you won’t spend the next half hour choosing which one to wear, which is perfect because the last thing we need is for you to come out to Severus wearing only a fuzzy bathrobe.”

Hermione laughed.

James’s face turned red as he began fussing.

“Okay,” Luna breathed. “You need to put on that dress and some Sleekeazy’s. When I get done feeding this little imp, I’ll help you with your makeup.”

“I can put on my own makeup.”

“I know you can.” Luna adjusted her shirt as best she could with one hand. “But you dress like a businesswoman. We need something more ethereal.”

“Ethereal?”

“Yes.” Luna positioned James to nurse.

Hermione looked at her as if she’d just begun to speak about starlight nymphs.

“Don’t worry, many people have said I appear ethereal.” Luna covered James with her shirt as he latched onto her breast. “I know how to pull off the look very well.”

Hermione could have said something, but the words did not reach her tongue.

“Do you want to still be talking to me when Severus comes?”

“No.”

“Then get ready so I don’t have to continue helping you.”

Hermione darted towards her bathroom. Once she stepped inside she turned around. “Thank you again for not telling Harry about this.”

“Seeing, Severus is your truth to tell, though I’d suggest you do it soon.”

“Because Harry’s been pestering you about it too much?”

“No,” Luna frowned. “Because he and Severus need peace.”

Hermione blinked.

“That can wait for another day though.”

Hermione did not move.

“Don’t wait on me,” the light returned to her eyes. “Put in your Sleekeazy’s.”

“Right.” Hermione shut the door behind her.

James startled at the sound. Luna chuckled as she readjusted him.

“Don’t worry about your godmother,” Luna whispered. “She and your godfather will be just fine tonight.”

James continued nursing, certain his mother was correct as she usually was.

***

“Oh this hair,” Sirius groaned as he looked over at the table of supplies St. Pete had loaned him. All he had to work with was a brush, a black hair tie, and a hand held mirror. No matter how much Sirius asked, St. Pete refused to loan him scissors, saying he shouldn't change Severus' essence. Sirius had argued that a little makeover never hurt anyone's essence. Then, St. Pete claimed that most spirits would be grateful they got as much as he did, but Sirius couldn’t help but feel as if he was working with very little. Did St. Pete really believe women went crazy for overly stringy hair?

“What is wrong with my hair?” Severus scowled as he buttoned his cufflink.

“It’s still long and appears greasy even in the afterlife.”

“Greasy hair seems to be who I am. I was the greasy git after all.”

“Don’t remind Hermione of that. She doesn’t need to remember you yelling at her.”

“I did not yell at her. I only used an acerbic tongue on a few unfortunate occasions.”

“Those occasions were too frequent.”

“True.”

Sirius examined Severus’ head again.

“If Hermione is supposed to love me, she should love the greasy hair, correct?”

“She should, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put effort into appearing presentable.” Sirius picked up the purple hairbrush and ran it through the other spirit’s hair again.

“I swear you’re fussier about my hair than my own mother was.” Severus turned his attention to his other cufflink.

“If she was fussier about your hair I might not be having the problems I am.” Sirius held up the brush.

“Do you truly think my hair is the most important thing in the world right now?”

“It is the biggest problem in my world anyway."

Severus rolled his eyes.

"Hermione would appreciate dancing with someone who appears presentable, not someone who looks like he hasn't cared for his hair in years.”

“You do not think my hair would make her change her mind about me.” Severus turned white. “Do you?”

“No.” Sirius’ glow dimmed. “I simply want things to be as perfect as they can be.”

“Indeed.” Severus stared into space, thankful Sirius hadn't given him the mirror yet.

“Okay,” Sirius whispered before brightening. “I got it!”

Severus slumped.

“I’ll just take this hair tie.” Sirius styled Severus’ hair into a ponytail. “And voila!”

“I had better not look idiotic,” Severus growled.

“See for yourself.” Sirius handed him the mirror.

Severus held it up to his face. His lips twitched upwards. “I must admit, I do not appear hideous.”

“I made you look downright handsome, and you know it.” Sirius grinned.

“We’ll let Hermione be the judge of that.” Severus stood up straighter.

“Now.” Sirius patted Severus on the back. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly,” Severus’ glow went blue. “Like she is going to back out at the last second and tell me to go to hell.”

“The good news is you can’t go to hell, and even if you could, you’d look fabulous doing so.”

Severus gulped.

“You’ll be fine.” Sirius took the mirror from him. “She loves you, and you love her. Just remember that tonight, and you’ll do fine.”

“Will she remember we love each other?”

“Is she the brightest witch of her age?”

“Not if she’s in love with me.”

“Give yourself more credit.” Sirius set down the mirror. “You aren’t as terrible as I said you were.”

“Truly?”

He nodded.

Severus’ lips curled upwards.

“Oh don’t think I like you or anything,” Sirius replied. “But I will admit that I gave you too hard of a time in life.”

“You did give me too hard of a time."

"I know," Sirius turned light blue.

"That being said, you are not as intolerable as I initially believed you were,” Severus admitted.

Silence fell between them.

Sirius’ eyes grew. “It’s about time for you to leave.”

“So it is.” Severus’ glow was white.

“Have fun down there, and remember.” Sirius’ glow intensified. “She loves you.”

“I will try.”

With that, Severus was gone.

Sirius took another look at the items on the table. He hummed before brushing his hair. Then he gazed into the mirror.

Just because he was in Purgatory didn’t mean he couldn’t take time to admire hisgorgeous face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	77. Chapter 77

Did he know how attractive he was in that tuxedo?

Hermione’s mouth watered as she gazed upon Severus. His spiritual robe, while attractive in its own right, had never done his form justice. The fact that his hairwas pulled back only added to the effect. He was like a hero from a romance novel, only much snarkier, a trait she found all the more endearing.

In addition to his outfit, his glow was a radiant yellow. His dark eyes glistened as his glow throbbed. A few times it appeared as if he wanted to say something, but the words seemed lost on his tongue. Then again, why ruin the moment by uttering a syllable?

Did she have any idea how attractive she was in that black dress?

Any words Severus considered failed to exit his mind. Her black dress framed her body perfectly, as it always had. This time the effect was more striking though. Her posture was straight, as if she had confidence in herself and the power she wielded over him. The makeup, while unnecessary, only accentuated the effect. She was a woman, and knew it.

In a rational world, she would not give a spirit such as Severus a second glance. Thank the Trinity this world was anything but rational! For the first time, Severus found something good in the world, something pure, something certain. If only he could find the words to express these sentiments….

Her eyes glistened as her lips curled upwards into a seductive smile. “You look very dashing, Severus.”

“Thank you.” He turned pink. “You look stunning, Hermione, absolutely stunning.”

The gleam in her eyes grew.

“What did I do so right that the afterlife gifted me this moment?” Severus whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, a man such of me doesn’t deserve to be here like this. What did I do right to win your heart?”

“You’ve done a lot right,” she answered.

“No, I may have done enough not to damn myself, but to see a woman more beautiful than the angels, one who rivals even heaven’s sunrises in beauty,” he floated towards her. “What did I do that was so brilliant in order to earn your love?”

“You were yourself,” She stepped closer to him. “And you loved me.”

“I do love you with my whole existence.”

“I love you with my whole existence too.”

Severus stared at her, wondering how a woman could reduce him to wordlessness. He could recite a speech about the benefits of potions, lecture for hours on end, yet now, he was coming up empty. Also, he was pretty sure he was supposed to be reciting a poem he’d written to her. All of the words were inadequate and nonsensical.

“Would you like to cook dinner with me?” She purred.

Dinner! Yes, she needed to eat, except she was supposed to be sitting and allowing him to do the work.

“I would love nothing more than to cook for you,” he replied.

“I think we should cook together.”

“No, tonight is about wooing you. I need to cook.”

“Tonight is about being together,” she touched his hand, sending her love through him. “I would like nothing more than to cook with you.”

“You do not play fair, witch,” He moaned as her love radiated through him.

She giggled before releasing him.

“Very well, we will cook together,” he returned to the moment. “If I am supervising you, we can make any dish you would like without too much trouble.”

“Only if you’re supervising me?” She gave him a look which she usually reserved for the bedroom

“You are quite capable of cooking on your own,” his pink glow returned. “You could make anything if you set your mind to it. I am well aware of that.”

“I know you are.”

“All that being said,” his glow was back to normal. “What would you like to eat?”

“I would like chicken parmesan. I’ve always found that meal romantic.”

“Have you had it on a date?” He turned white and cringed. Way to seduce a woman by bringing up her ex! No wonder dates were lining up at your door, Severus!

“No,” she glided towards the refrigerator, overlooking his alleged blunder. “It was a fantasy I had once while I was a couple eating a plate of it at _Giovanni’s._ It was as if they were the only two people in the world. I always wanted that.”

“Tonight you shall have that.”

There was a spark of anticipation in her eyes.

“So,” He followed her. “We can make some chicken parmesan, and then dance.”

“Dance?” She stopped dead in her tracks.

“Indeed,” he replied.

She directed her attention to a speck of dust on the floor.

“Is there an issue with that?”

“No, except I am a terrible dancer,” she muttered.

“I am shite at it too.”

She returned her attention to him.

He wanted to sink into the ground at using such vulgarity. Once again, he was proving his lack of proficiency in speaking with women.

“I always thought you would be a good dancer,” she began.

“I am not,” he admitted. “Perhaps it’s all irrelevant. I am not even sure how we could dance in our current forms.”

Her lips parted.

“Yet I want to feel your body in mine, even if it is just energy. I believe we should acclimate to each other if we are to do what we seem to be planning to do,” he continued.

“I wouldn’t mind being near you, especially if it prepares you for whatever is about to happen.”

“If you don’t want to fuse we can spend this evening eating dinner. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything.”

“No,” She raised her voice in passion. “I want this more than anything.”

He sensed a “but” was coming.

“I just…” Her posture was no longer as straight. Within seconds, she morphed from a woman to a timid child.

He opened his mouth to say something.

“Never mind.” She shook her head. “Dinner and dancing sounds amazing. Let’s do it.”

“If you do not want to…”

“Now,” she opened her freezer. “Let’s see how long I’m supposed to put the chicken patties in for.”

“Excuse me?” Severus tilted his head.

“I kinda cheated.” She blushed as she held out a box. “I bought a chicken parmesan starter kit. I know how to make the spaghetti, but I didn’t want to waste time breading the chicken. I hope that’s okay.”

“It is more than okay.” He chuckled. “It is very much like you to bring frozen food into a romantic dinner.

She shut the freezer, unsure if she dared trust the humor in his eyes.

“Which is amazing, for I love you just as you are.”

He’d never seen anyone smile so widely.

***

“I did not know you were a soft rock fan.” She waltzed around her kitchen, her empty plate already in the sink.

“It is my dirty secret.” He followed her every movement, keeping the time of the song. “The cheesier the seventies song, the better.”

“What is your favorite song?” She slid her body closer to his.

“I honestly cannot pick one.” He raised her hand.

“Which means it’s too embarrassing to tell!” She twirled around before facing him again.

“Something like that.” He admitted.

“Come on, it cannot be terribly embarrassing.”

“Actually, it is.”

“What is it?”

His glow was white.

“Remember, were supposed to be open and honest with each other. Telling me your sing is one way of doing so.”

“Fine.” He was neon pink. “I don’t know which song of his I like the best, but my first concert was Barry Manilow.”

“Barry Manilow?”

“Yes.” He raised her hand again.

“How old were you?” She twirled once more. “And who forced you to go?”

“I was twenty-two, and went there alone quite willingly. I sat in one of the front rows to get a decent view. It was far more enjoyable than I have ever admitted aloud.”

She blushed.

“I have probably ruined my reputation once and for all.” If he could have sighed, he would have.

“Quite the opposite,” her eyes were sparkling in mischief. “In fact, I can relate.”

“Have you seen Mr. Manilow?”

“No, but the first CD I ‘borrowed’ from my parents was Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits Volume 1.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, I played it so much I scratched it, so they had to buy a new one.”

“There is something quite sweet about meditating on you listening to Barry.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

“Perhaps next date, I can dig up one of his albums and we can listen to it.”

“I would love that.” His glow was bright yellow.

In silence, they continued to dance, their body inching closer to each other with every song. Everything within Severus wanted to fuse with her. A spiritual urge he could not understand demanded he press himself to her and reveal everything about him to her, to be one with her forever.

Yet she was holding back.

She stopped, sighed, and deflated.

“What is wrong?” His glow dimmed.

“There are things you need to know before we fuse,” her voice was soft.

“What?”

“I,” a tear trickled down her cheeks. “I have scars, some which are quite nasty.”

“As do I.”

The record stopped.

“I am not an angel, nor could I compare with some of the more beautiful saints. All I ask is that if my scars are too much, if you cannot tolerate the idea of being with a scarred woman, please tell me before I remove the glamours. I would rather hear you say no then watch you recoil.”

“I promise never to recoil,” he replied. “Still, I do not want to pressure you. If the glamours make you feel more comfortable there is no need to remove them.”

“No, I need to show you everything,” she replied. “If we are to be one, whatever that means, you need to see them.”

“Perhaps, and in the interest of honesty,” His glow pulsated. “I have scars too, some which are quite disfiguring.”

“So the scars do not disappear in the afterlife,” she muttered.

“No, they do not.”

“Then I suppose no matter what happens tonight, you will see them eventually.”

“You will see mine as well,” he warned. “They may prove alarming.”

“I can handle them,” she promised.

“I can handle yours as well.”

She reached over on the table and picked up her wand. With a shaky breath, she ran it over her body. The word “mudblood” became clearer on her arm.

“Oh Hermione,” Severus whispered.

Hermione couldn’t look Severus in the eyes. It was too much to hope he could ever be with a woman with that word on her arm, especially given his worst memories.

“Did Bellatrix do this to you?” He whispered.

She squeaked and nodded.

“Look at me.”

She did so.

“You should be proud of this scar. It proves you are a survivor.”

“I am a marred woman.”

“You are someone who has survived so much, more than anyone should ever have had to survive. You should be proud of yourself, not ashamed.”

“How can you say that? You hate that word. Doesn’t it bother you that I have it on my body?”

“I hate the word, not the person who unwillingly had it tattooed upon her.”

She looked into his eyes. Instead of a glib man who only wanted to brag he’d shagged a member of the Golden Trio, she saw a man who felt nothing but love for her. How could she ever have been so fortunate?

“There are other scars,” she warned.

“Perhaps you should allow me to examine them in the bedroom.”

“So long as you show me your scars.” She gulped. “I mean, I do not mean to pry or gawk, but I do feel we should be on equal footing.”

“Indeed we should be,” he replied. 

***

When he first entered her bedroom, he would never have imagined that he would be stripping before her in that same space. It would have been unfathomable to think someone would love him so completely that she would want to see all of him.

Now he had taken off his trousers, leaving him naked before her. She stripped herself of her bra, leaving her exposed. Her eyes fell on her arm. There was no need to ask the obvious question.

“The Trinity removed the Dark Mark,” Severus began. “They do not tolerate marks made by people who want to own others, so they remove them.”

“I am glad to hear it,” she replied. “It must be a relief not to be beholden to anyone ever again.”

“Indeed.”

The silence returned.

“As for the rest of them, the ones I obtained due to the war and the revels.” His glow was almost extinguished.

“They prove you are a survivor who died saving the Wizarding World,” she whispered. “Just as mine prove I’m a survivor.”

“Exactly,” his glow brightened again.

He looked at her. None of her scars intimidated him. In fact, there was a haunting beauty about them. They proved she was someone who had been placed in circumstances beyond her control, yet had found a way to thrive. Without them, she would not be who she was. Never in his afterlife had he been so sure that he loved her. Now, that fact was as real as the existence of the Trinity themselves.

So many words could be said, yet the silence was sacred. He needed her to see in his eyes that he loved her, that he was not leaving. Once and for all, his expression needed to prove to her that there would be nobody but her.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too.” He paused. “I love you so very much.”

She relaxed.

“If you want to back out of this fusion, if this is too much…”

“I don’t know what to expect” She stepped closer to him. “But whatever it is, we will face it together. Our love will be strong enough to overcome anything fate throws at us.”

“Yes, it will be,” he promised.

“If you want to back out, feel free to do so. I will not be offended,” She trembled.

“Never,” he whispered.

He gave her a kiss as best he could. Not satisfied with merely brushing against her lips, he embraced her.

A power swirled about them as he pressed her closer to him. His glow was brighter than the sun peeking over heaven’s golden gates. He hesitated.

She stepped into him, further intensifying the sensations. Closer still she moved, until he felt her touch quite unlike any he’d felt.

Her soul was touching his. At long last, their essences were intertwined.

Energy flowed through him, animating and calming him. The emotion coursing through his existence could only be described as ecstasy, yet it was unlike any potion he’d taken or night with anyone else. It was pure love, pure trust, pure need, pure adoration, and most importantly, pure Hermione.

Hermione had never been touched like this.

Although her skin felt nothing rubbing against it, her essence was peeling forth from her. Yet she did not feel as if she was dying. Rather, a life enhancing energy was crashing into her like a tidal wave. It was more powerful than any orgasm, more exhilarating than any academic achievement, and more invigorating than any lover. It was pure love, pure trust, pure need, pure adoration, and most importantly, pure Severus.

At long last, they were one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	78. Chapter 78

The Trinity could sense the status of the universe.

Hovering in their separate yet connected circles, they felt the cosmic balance shift. The mortal realm was raising to the level of heaven. Earth and heaven were unified in a way they had not been in centuries. To say it was unexpected would be an inaccuracy given that the Trinity knew all possibilities. The ramifications were foreseen, yet never determined. Some room needed to be left for free will and the wild, uncontrollable nature of love.

As the universe sought a new balance, the Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier stared into each other’s eyes. Their circles drew closer, illuminating the night sky until every star shimmered more brightly in the night sky.

***

“I’m just worried about Severus.” The green eyed woman was the only person in heaven frowning. “This mission shouldn’t take as long as it has.”

“Now Lily,” Dismas began. “We cannot rush eudaemonia.”

“You’ve said that before,” she replied, feeling no need to shield her eyes from the brightening sky. “Four months is a long time though.”

“Actually it isn’t long at all.”

“Perhaps not for someone who’s been dead for two thousand years,” Lily admitted.

“But to someone missing a friend,” he put a hand on her shoulder. “It seems like an eternity.”

She turned a light blue.

“This separation won’t last forever. When Severus has completed his Purgatory program, I am certain he will seek you out.”

“I hope so.” She bowed her head. "I was so awful to him though. If I had known the consequences of my actions, I would have reconsidered them."

"We cannot change the past, only move into the future." 

The golden light reflected off the cumulus clouds.

“I won’t lie, you may not be the first person he wants to see. In fact, that is highly unlikely,” Dismas continued. “But I’m sure he will find you when he’s ready.”

“I wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see me again.” She glanced up at the saint. “I hurt him so deeply. If I had any idea of the damage my wrath would cause, I would have forgiven him immediately.”

In the distance, soft voices sang, “Glory to God in the highest. Sing glory to God…”

“There’s no sense in dwelling on the past, especially once you’ve atoned for your sins.” The saint continued. “All you can do is forgive yourself and accept Severus’ forgiveness when he is ready to extend it.”

“Do you think he can forgive me?”

“I think he already has.”

“Has he said that?”

“No, but I can sense that he’s made peace with his life,” the saint replied.

“I hope he has,” Lily turned green. “It disgusts me to think of the role I played in his miserable life and death.”

"Yet you also made his life better."

"Did I?"

"Yes, he has told me as much."

"Perhaps, but I still influenced some of the awful decisions he made..."

“You cannot focus on the choices he made. There is no chance to undo them. All you can is extend your friendship when the time comes.” Dismas released her.

“Do you think he’s forgiven me?”

“I think he has had more trouble forgiving himself.”

The hymn grew louder as the light intensified. “Glory to God in the highest, and peace to his people on earth!”

“He should have forgiven himself decades ago,” Lily raised her voice above the choir.

“There is nothing anyone can do about that now. All you can do is continue to pray for him and watch over him when you feel strong enough to do so.”

“I’ve been so scared to look down, for fear of watching him further suffer.”

“I don’t think he’s suffering.”

“He isn’t?” The light surrounding them was pure white.

“No.” Dismas grinned. “In fact, he is happy.”

Pure love radiated throughout heaven as a pure white light overtook them.

“Glory to God in the highest! Sing glory to God!”

Lily and Dismas turned to their right. Radiating light was a blue fire in the midst of a spinning seven-spoked golden wheel. Cherubim and seraphim took to the sky and surrounded it, their wings covering their bodies.

“Glory to God in the highest!”

“I’ve never seen the Trinity fuse together so brightly,” Lily marveled.

“It’s rare that they emit a white light, but it happens,” Dismas replied.

“When?”

“When heaven and earth draw close."

"How does that happen?"

"It can happen in various ways, but this glow is more intense than I've ever seen."

“What do you think this all means?"

“There has been intimate contact between heaven and earth. It is as if a spirit has fused with a mortal and created love.”

“And peace to his people on earth!”

“Do you think Severus is okay?” Lily asked above the choir.

“He’s more than fine,” Dismas replied, his smile widening.

She did not know what to make of the twinkle in the Good Thief’s eyes. Best not to meditate on it too much. There were some things she’d never understand that came quite easily for the upper echelon of saints.

***

Sirius dropped his mirror as a sense of pure energy overtook him. The room around him was the brightest yellow he had ever seen. Before his head could spin or he could become too disoriented, a sense of calm overtook him. For the first time, he felt peace, an overall sense of well-being. It was as if he had accomplished something unique, created something beautiful.

Within what seemed like moments, the sensation was gone. Still, he had captured it. He had grasped eudaimonia in his hands, and understood it.

He leaned back into his couch and laughed. Somehow, Severus had managed to show a woman he loved her. After death, he had found love, and it was in part thanks to him.

Sirius’ glow was soft as candlelight as he gazed up at the ceiling.

He’d be out of Purgatory in no time.

***

Hermione caught her breath as Severus floated beside her. In that moment, she swore she was glowing as brightly as he was, but the thought was dispelled from her mind. No mortal could glow, even if they had undergone an experience such as Hermione had, correct? Perhaps she should ask Luna, or read a book on the matter.

“Are you well?” He purred as he gazed into her eyes.

“I’ve never felt more well in my life.” She breathed. “For the first time in years, perhaps in my life, I feel as if my life is complete.”

“I am relieved to hear it,” he whispered. “I didn’t know how you would fare given our different planes of existence.”

“I feel as if I finally understand true ecstasy.”

“Good.” He slid closer to her.

“What about you?” She rolled over to face him. “How do you feel?”

“Like I am in heaven, although that sounds too much like uninspired poetry.”

She giggled.

“Saying something feels like heaven sounds so cliched, until you’ve been there and seen it for yourself and understand its beauty. Mortals truly abuse the word ‘heaven,’ but when you seen it, you’ll understand my sentiments towards you.”

She frowned. “You don’t think you’ve given it up by being with me, have you?”

“If I have then you were worth it.”

“Severus.” Her heart was racing. “Don’t be so cavalier about this! If you are damned because you fused with a mortal then you will be in eternal pain. You’ll never find the peace you’ve spent your entire existence fighting for.”

His glow dimmed.

“I have been so reckless.” Her body shook. “I could have cost you everything, and I did not know it until now!”

“You cost me nothing.”

“How do you know?”

“I cannot say for certain, but you’ll need to trust me on this.”

She took a shaky breath.

“If the Trinity is as loving as everyone claims they are, then they understand love. They are supposed to be pure love. If they cannot understand what has developed between us, then perhaps they are not who they've led everyone to believe they are.” 

“You shouldn’t have to give up heaven for me. You should find peace, not jeopardize it for me.”

“How could I have jeopardize my sense of peace for you when you are my sense of peace?”

She sniffed.

“I love you. I love everything about you. I love you enough to need, to spend eternity with you. Unless,” his voice was barely above a whisper. “Do you regret this?”

“No,” she replied. “I don’t, not at all.”

“Then neither do I.”

She relaxed.

“Let Dismas, St. Peter, and the Trinity worry about my fate in the afterlife. Right now, you are the only person I want to focus upon.”

“I only want to focus on you too.” She brushed her lips against his essence. “I love you, Severus. I love you, and I never want to leave your side.”

“Then somehow, we will spend eternity together.” He promised.

She hummed before tapping his hand. His glow intensified as pure love was sensed between them.

***

“I told you a spirit and a mortal would fuse together one day!"

A nun in a habit glowed bright yellow as she glanced up from her cloud and clapped her hands together.

“Technically Theresa,” the angel in a red suit smirked as he pressed his wings close to his body. “You said an angel would touch a mortal, not a spirit in Purgatory.”

“That’s a technicality.” She waved her hand. “The truth is I won the bet.”

The archangel raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you think I forgot that bet we made three hundred years ago?”

“I was distracted when I made that bet.”

“You’re always distracted when you aren’t getting your way.”

He pressed his lips together.

“Pay up.” She held out her hand. “I want a bottle of tequila.”

“Why? You aren’t going to physically be able to drink it."

“I’ll find a way.”

He suppressed a chuckle. There were very few mortals he deigned to spend time with, but Theresa had grown on him, sometimes too much for his liking.

Theresa resumed looking at the couple. The angel could see the wheels turning in her mind. It was pointless to ask for her thoughts. She would tell him in tres…dos…uno…

“They sure do look comfortable,” she mused. “At least more comfortable than someone who’s just been stabbed in the heart several times by a golden spear.”

“If I recall,” the angel drawled as they looked at each other. “You made a very lucrative career off of getting speared by me.”

“Can I call it lucrative when I didn’t make a real off of it?”

“It gained you fame, which in its own right is lucrative.”

“I could’ve gone without the fame.”

“Yes, but if you weren’t famous would anyone have believed you could levitate?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged.

The archangel folded back his wings and frowned.

“What’s wrong now?” Theresa asked.

“It looks like they’re goofing off.”

“Oh leave them alone. They’re in love. They’re allowed to have a moment of peace.”

“They’re taking advantage of the Trinity’s kindness and patience.”

“They’re enjoying their existence.”

“At the expense of the Trinity’s kindness.”

Theresa rolled her eyes. Did he ever take a break from being a prosecutor?

“Somebody needs to remind Black and Snape that they are in Purgatory, not on a tropical island picking up dates.” His voice was louder.

“That’s for the Trinity to handle, not you.” She lowered her voice.

“Well,” the angel’s smirk returned. “I am the voice of the Trinity. From that angle I should get some type of say in what occurs.”

“Here we go again.” She shook her head.

He spread out his wings.

“Don’t you dare!” She grabbed his left wing. “You stay right here and let them enjoy tonight.”

He opened his mouth.

“I mean it! If you go down there so help me I will follow you and hound you until you wish you’d never seen a mortal!”

He scowled before folding his wings again.

“There you go.” Theresa patted him on the back. “Now, let’s conjure me up a glass to drink some tequila. We can look at some recipes as well. I want to make sure the experience as enjoyable as possible.”

“It’s going to go right through you. You’ll never be able to drink it.”

“Oh trust me, I’ll find a way to drink it,” She gave him a sly grin. “Metatron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A real is an old type of Spanish currency, used around the time St. Theresa of Avila lived. I'll go more in depth with her later, but if you have time read up on her story! It is fascinating.
> 
> Thank you so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	79. Chapter 79

There was nothing more seductive than a naked, well-toned spirit reading a potions journal in bed.

Hermione moaned as she reached for Severus. “Good morning.”

He put the book down before grasping her hand. “I was wondering when you would awaken.”

Her face was flush as her heart skipped a few beats. Love filled her being, an intoxicating sensation she wished would never end.

“I trust you slept well.” He released her.

“Very well.” She gave him a small grin. “I dreamed a spirit in a tuxedo had his wicked way with me.”

“Oh did you?” He purred.

“Indeed.” She proper herself up on one arm. “I dreamt he whispered naughty things in my ear as we fused into one.”

“What types of naughty things?”

“Things which would damn one to hell if the Trinity heard them.”

“Then I should wait to say them until we are both assured of our place in heaven before I make that particular dream come true.” He kissed her neck.

“We should.” She breathed.

A comfortable moment of silence fell between them. They gazed into each other’s eyes, as if to drink in their love.

“Were you bored last night?” She asked.

“No,” he pointed to his journal. “You have excellent reading material.”

“Yes, but for…” she craned her neck until she could see the alarm clock behind him. Her eyes grew. “Nine hours? I slept for nine whole hours?”

“You did.”

“I haven’t slept for nine hours in years.”

“Do you feel fatigued?”

“No,” she relaxed. “I feel the most refreshed I’ve ever been.”

“Then I am glad you slept that long.”

“Yes, but still…you were able to read for nine hours?”

“As I said, you had amazing reading material. When I grew weary of reading,” he gave her a look that sent a wave of heat through her body, “I just looked at you.”

“You took joy from reading and watching me sleep?”

"Yes."

She continued to stare at him in disbelief.

“Last night was the most enjoyable night of my life, for so many reasons. I was doing what I always wanted to do; have an evening with a beautiful woman and read.”

“Severus.” Her eyes glistened. “You truly are the perfect man if all you want to do is read and spend time with me.”

“Every other man was a dunderhead to pass you by.” He kissed the top of her head. “Which is why I praise the Trinity for my intelligence and their stupidity.”

“You are the most intelligent man I’ve ever met.”

“It takes a special witch to recognize and appreciate a wizard’s intelligence.”

“Then I am lucky so many other witches were dunderheads and passed you by.”

“I don’t know if they were dunderheads per se,” His glow dimmed. “I will readily admit that I am not the easiest entity in the universe to get along with.”

“I’m no walk in the park either.”

He raised an eyebrow. What could be so difficult about being with Hermione?

“I’m aware of my weaknesses. I know I can be too bossy, too insecure, and my hair.” She tugged at it. “Is a bloody mess in the mornings.”

“It’s beautiful,” he answered.

“There is little need to flatter me. It took four bottles of Sleekeazy’s to tame it last night, and look at how it appears in the morning.”

“You look like an actual person.”

“Well.” She smirked. “I wouldn’t want to look like a dog.”

He chuckled.

Desire welled in Hermione’s stomach. Did he have any idea what he could do with his voice?

“I never cared for women who dolls themselves up and try their best to imitate models. They were either too vapid to hold their own in a conversation, or too self-absorbed to respect. Right now, you appear natural and approachable.” He lowered his voice and leaned closer to her. “It is sexier than you could imagine.”

“Sexy?”

“Yes, you are so sexy, so sensual, and so beautiful.” He kissed her cheek

Desire inflamed her body. She yearned for him to fuse with her so she could feel him inside of her again. Once again, she wanted to give him all of her, to show him how completely she loved him.

“Everything about you is amazing,” he whispered.

“You are amazing yourself.” She clasped his hand.

He hummed as her love flowed through him. For the first time, he believed he was worthy of love. Once again, he wanted to fuse with her, just so she understood how deeply his love for her ran.

The rumblings of her stomach interrupted his train of thought.

Her body went red. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“There is no need to apologize.” He chuckled before brushing his lips to hers.“I woke up hungry many a morning too.”

She grinned.

“If you would like, I can show you how to make pancakes.”

“I would love that.” She sat upright. “Except, shouldn’t you put your tuxedo back on?”

He glanced at the discarded outfit. “Would it not be odd to cook while wearing one?”

“Would it not be odd to cook naked?”

“Good point.”

With one last kiss, they set about beginning their day.

* * *

Will there be a beach in heaven?

Sirius stared at the wall, allowing his thoughts to wander. Until now, he had not allowed himself to imagine heaven. It was too painful to think of a place he would not reach for another millennium. Now that Hermione had achieved eudaimonia though, it was closer than ever. There was no harm in wondering if there was an angel or two who would be receptive to his flirtations….

“You have a lovely scam going on here.”

Sirius was pure white. If the room could have grown cold, it would have.

“You get to lounge around, read philosophy, explore the world, all while avoiding your Purgatory sentence.”

He closed his eyes. This wasn’t happening!

“I must admit I am impressed. Few souls would have been so ingenious.”

Sirius’ glow pulsated. He swore he was trembling, though was unsure if spirits could do so.

“Too bad you are up against an all knowing entity who is going to catch on sooner rather than later.”

Sirius shook his head. If I don’t look he might go away.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you.”

Sirius glanced up and squeaked.

“Hello, Metatron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason I haven't been posting lately is because fan fiction.net won't show my new chapter. They are supposedly working on the problem, but who knows when it will be resolved. Still, you've been waiting patiently for this, so I decided to post another chapter to tide everyone over. Gotta love technology...
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	80. Chapter 80

Metatron’s lips curled upwards as Sirius curled into a ball. If the spirit could’ve sweat the couch would’ve been drenched. He’d imagined the spirit would have fainted as well.

He flapped his wings, causing the book atop the pile to flip open. Sirius let out a whine. The archangel suppressed a chuckle. He’d learned more than a few intimidation tricks as a prosecutor, and wasn’t afraid to pull them out when necessary.

“What, uh, brings you here?” Sirius whined.

“I came because I was quite disturbed by the actions of you and your, uh,” Metatron’s left wing twitched, “companion. Is that what you’d call Severus?”

“I guess, I mean.” Sirius gulped. “I guess he’s my companion.”

“Very well then.” Metatron retracted his wings. “The actions of you and your companion are disturbing me.”

“Why?” If Metatron’s hearing wasn’t perfect he would not have been able to hear Sirius’ voice. “Hermione seems to be happy.”

“Happy?”

Sirius nodded.

“Do you think she’s happy?”

“Yes, I think she is getting closer to.” Sirius’ glow shook. “Eudaimonia. I think that’s what it’s called.”

“Oh.” Metatron’s eyes widened. “She’s on the verge of achieving eudaimonia.”

Sirius nodded.

“My, that changes everything then, doesn’t it,” he approached the couch.

The spirit pulled himself upwards.

“I mean, you must know everything about eudaimonia. You’ve had enough time to study it.”

“I’ve tried to.”

“Tell me, since you know so much about eudaimonia,” Metatron stopped when he was a meter from Sirius. He pointed to a book on the floor. “Have you read _Nicomachean Ethics?”_

“Yes, I did two months ago.”

“Really.” Metatron picked up the book and handed it to Sirius. “Show me the page where fusing with another soul and romancing her is the key to eudaimonia.”

“Well,” Sirius took the book. “Book X discusses the varieties of friendship. That’s about relationships, so it counts.”

Metatron hummed.

“Friends are supposed to help each other grow in virtue. It doesn’t always happen though. Some friendships are built on utility, deeper ones on pleasure, but true friends help each other grow in virtue.”

“So that’s what’s going on with Hermione then?” Metatron’s expression was impassive. “You and Severus are her true friends helping her grow in virtue?”

“Severus is anyway.”

“How is he being a friend to her exactly?”

“Well, I’ve helped Severus learn how to talk to her, so they can create potions, cook, and help her get her confidence back.”

“Impressive.”

“It is.” Sirius’ glow was a light yellow. “She’s found a purpose in life.”

“I see.”

“She’s thriving with Severus’ help. I don’t think she’s ever been happier.”

“I suppose her happiness was the goal, now wasn’t it? If she’s happy then she must be closer to eudaimonia, correct?”

“Yes.” Sirius sat up straighter.

“And what do you do in the meantime?” Metatron glanced at his fingernails. “You watch as Harry takes his son into her store so you can see him, you get to relive your casanova days, and for the cherry on top, you get to avoid a lengthy Purgatory sentence and may get some time off from it. This sounds like the perfect afterlife for you.”

“It’s been a nice program.” Sirius had a hint of a grin.

“A nice program?”

“Yes.”

“What about your spiritual enlightenment? Have you grown to regret any of your actions?”

“I mean.” Sirius bowed his head. “I was a little mean to Severus.”

“A little mean?” Metatron drawled.

Sirius looked up.

“You hung a man from a tree, mock him, and expose him, yet all you have to say for yourself is that you were a little mean?” Metatron frowned.

“Okay, I was cruel, and awful.”

“You laughed in the middle of your Purgatory trial!”

Sirius jerked back from the power of the archangel’s voice.

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that the man who laughed during his Purgatory trial is suddenly reformed within the span of a decade and a few months?”

“I have changed.” Sirius sat erect. “I’m trying to help Severus help Hermione. That shows how much I’ve changed.”

“How is making Hermione emotionally dependent upon Severus going to help anyone?”

Sirius closed his mouth.

“I sincerely love Peter and Dismas, but they are too distracted to see the obvious.”

“What would that be?”

“That you are taking this time as your personal vacation at Hermione’s expense.”

“But we’re making her happy.”

“Will she be happy when the Trinity pulls the plug on all of this?”

Sirius turned white. “They want to pull this plug on this?”

“Perhaps not now.” Metatron admitted. “The Trinity is infinitely patient after all.”

Sirius relaxed.

“They are also all-knowing, and can be quite wrathful when they are taken advantage of. The second they suspect they’ve been crossed is the second they revert to their Old Testament ways if you know what I mean.”

“We’re not taking advantage of them. We’re only trying to do the work they assigned us.”

“How?”

“It’s complicated, but I’m serious, Hermione is gaining eudaimonia.”

“She’s gaining a fantasy land where Severus Snape will share a domestic life with her despite the fact that we both know that isn’t possible,” Metatron argued. “What does that have to do with eudaimonia?”

Sirius wrung his hands.

“I will be the first to admit that I am not the Trinity, but I am the voice of God for a few reasons, and not only because I speak to them for mortals. I am more free to express the things they are often too merciful to say without overstepping my bounds. It is the reason I am widely considered the best prosecutor heaven has ever seen.” There was a predatory gleam in Metatron’s eyes.

“You are amazing.” Sirius squeaked. “I was very impressed with the job you did at my trial. If I ever needed a prosecutor I would hire you.”

“Would you now?” Metatron grinned.

Sirius nodded.

“I’ll remember that when you’re back in Purgatory watching your life over again. In fact,” his right wing fluttered. “I’ll consider it my crowning achievement.”

“As you should.” Sirius’ glow pulsated.

“Back to my initial point though,” Metatron’s gleam returned. “The Trinity is not going to tolerate this ridiculousness forever. They are going to reach the same conclusion I have, namely that Hermione is living in a fantasy that is going to come crashing down upon her when this program ends.”

“What if Severus is her soulmate though?”

Metatron glared at him as if he’d just asked if angels had wings.

“What if she and Severus were never given a chance, and the Trinity is making sure they get one?” His voice was stronger.

“First of all, there is no such thing as soulmates. Even you know that.”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “There isn’t?”

“No, that’s something mortals made to amuse themselves. The Trinity is busy enough as it is. They don’t have time to ensure the correct mortals are romantically involved with each other.”

Sirius deflated as if he’d just announced Father Christmas did not exist.

“Second of all, if the Trinity wanted Severus and Hermione together they would have found a way to do so by now. They wouldn’t put on this farce just to bring,” He made scare quotes. “‘True love’ into the world.”

Sirius turned blue.

“If I were you, I would seriously consider this entire mission and its trajectory. Your course of action is not sustainable. Even you are intelligent enough to admit that.”

He lowered his head.

“Sirius?”

Metatron turned around and examined the soul wearing a tuxedo. The archangel had to admit, he was handsome. It wasn’t difficult to imagine why Hermione would become overly attached to him.

“Excuse me, but who are you?”

He was brave too. Nobody other than Theresa had spoken to him in such a dry tone upon their first meeting.

It was a pity this man was fusing with mortals. Metatron could see them becoming close friends otherwise.

“Did Dismas send you?” Severus asked.

“Excuse me. Where are my manners?” Mutation extended his hand. “My name is Metatron, I was the prosecutor for Sirius’ trial.”

“I see.” The other spirit’s glow remained steady as he shook it. “My name is Severus Snape.”

“I know, Dismas told me about you,” Metatron spread out his wings as he released Severus. “I also got a good view of you last night seducing Hermione.”

Severus was as pale as Metatron’s wings.

“I will tell you what I told him,” Metatron continued. “Your goal is to bring Hermione happiness, not emotionally invest her in a fantasy even you know you cannot live out. Remember that the next time you interact with her.”

“Did Dismas tell you to come?” Severus asked in a weak voice.

“No.”

“Did the Trinity send you?” Sirius asked.

“If the Trinity sent me, you would know.” Metatron looked up at the sky. “I do apologize, but I have court momentarily.”

“Good luck,” Sirius began.

“I don’t need luck, only grace and skill.” Metatron raised his wings higher. “Something you two are in desperate need of developing.”

With that, Metatron vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	81. Chapter 81

Hermione’s mind was too scientific to indulge in the fantasy of walking on clouds in the air. All she had to base her fantasies on was reality. Fog was a cloud on the ground, but it was unpleasant to walk through. It always made her hair messier than it needed to be, and the vapor stuck to her skin until even a towel had difficulty wiping it off. No, walking through a cloud was not pleasant in the least.

This afternoon, her mind was anything but scientific. She felt as if the ground was nothing but a cushion. Her body was weightless, as if she could float as high as one of the angels she had so envied. His love still echoed in her soul, and the burn of his lips against hers were still a tingling. If this is what heaven felt like, then there was no reason to fear death in the slightest!

She sipped her chamomile tea at her de-cluttered kitchen table, a newspaper in hand. Nothing held her interest for longer than a few seconds. Her mind could only focus on Severus and their fusion.

“Hermione?”

Hermione jolted up, almost spilling her drink onto her black t-shirt and sweatpants. Unfazed, she glided over to the fireplace and peered inside. “Hello, Harry.”

“Hey, I just uh, wanted to see how you were,” he replied.

“No,” She drawled. “You want to hear everything about last night.”

“Well, if you’re willing to share with me…” He leaned closer to the fireplace.

“I suppose I could spare a few minutes.” She hummed.

“Great,” he motioned for her to step back.

She did so, leaving room for him to stumble through the threshold. As he wiped himself, he took note of her attire. “You’re wearing black.”

“Yes.” She raised an eyebrow. “Is there a problem with that?”

His stomach sank. He’d seen that expression before. It was forever etched into his memory as one of the rare expressions of joy displayed by his former potions master.

“Are you okay?” The playfulness vanished from her expression.

“Yes.” He swallowed. “I just, uh…”

She parted her lips.

“Never mind.” He grinned. “I was surprised to see you in sweatpants.”

“Did you expect me to wear a cocktail dress all day?” Her eyes twinkled.

“No, I suppose not.” He looked around. “Speaking of dresses, where is your paramour?”

“He’s at his place, picking up some things.”

“He just loved you and ran?”

“Hardly,” she replied. “He was here all morning.”

“Did he make you breakfast in bed?”

“No, because I wanted us to make pancakes together.”

“That’s a little cutesier than you usually prefer.”

“What’s so cutesy about making breakfast together? Just because we were intimate doesn’t mean my cooking lessons ended. Cooking together was just as romantic as breakfast in bed, in some ways more so.”

“I never thought I’d see the day where you thought cooking was romantic.”

“A lot has changed these past few months.”

“True, but still,” He sat upon her couch. “He could have spoiled you a little, been your servant for the morning.”

“I don’t want that.” She sat beside him. “I want a strong man who will enable me to take care of myself. He is that and much much more.”

“I just wish he was a strong man who would allow me to see him.”

“He might have stayed longer, but it wouldn’t have been right for him to spend all day in a tuxedo.”

“He wore a tuxedo?”

She nodded as Crookshanks entered the room.

“You wore a fancy dress, he wore a tuxedo, yet neither of you left the house?”

“Yes.”

Harry looked at her as if she’d asked him to play Quidditch without a broom.

“We didn’t want the media coverage which would have hounded us had we gone out.” Hermione petted her familiar as he rubbed her leg. “We just wanted a nice night with just the two of us.”

“I know you value your privacy but,” the humor left his expression. “It is becoming concerning that he doesn’t want to see your friends.”

“Why?” She scratched Crookshanks’ back.

“Don’t you think this whole not meeting friends thing is odd?”

“It’s unconventional, but it doesn’t bother me.”

Harry sighed.

“I honestly don’t see what your problem is. He fully supports me having a social life. He would never keep me from you, so why are you taking him not wanting to see you personally?”

“I know he wouldn’t keep you from us, and I appreciate that, but it seems as if there’s a distance between you two.” He folded his hands. “He doesn’t seem to want to be a part of your life.”

“He wants nothing more than to be a part of my life.”

Crookshanks strolled away.

“Then why didn’t he stay and at least shake hands with Luna?”

“He was running late and James was fussing.” She furrowed her eyebrows.

“I know, but I’m noticing a concerning pattern. He is absolutely opposed to any kind of social life.”

“He’s shy.” She lowered her voice. “There’s nothing more to it than that.”

“I would still love to meet him.”

“So you can barrage him with questions?”

“I won’t barrage him with questions. I only want to make sure he’s worthy of your affections.” Harry argued.

“You sound like my father.”

“I’m not trying to be stifling, only protective.”

“I can make my own decisions.”

“Yes, but if you’re going to spend any significant time with this guy I’d like to be a part of his life, if only so I can stay connected to you.”

“I know you want to be a good friend, but you need to trust me when I say things are better this way,” her voice was growing uncomfortably loud.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I respect that.”

“Good.” She relaxed.

“It’s just,” the spark in Harry’s eyes returned. “I’ve never seen you this happy.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.” Her smile returned.

“If he doesn’t treat you right, you know who to call.”

“You’ll be the first person I floo.”

“All that being said,” Harry smirked. “Tell me all about it.”

“Harry!” She blushed.

“I mean it, tell me what you did.”

“I can’t do that!” She laughed.

“You can leave out the more intimate parts, but I want some details. You in a cocktail dress and him in a tuxedo staying at home is too interesting of a story to keep to yourself. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Hermione caught her breath, too joyful to consider the implications of not telling Harry the whole truth about her paramour.

***

“What did you do to piss Metatron off?” Severus snapped as he pointed upwards.

“I didn’t do anything!” Sirius argued. “At least, not this time!”

“Not this time?”

“My Purgatory trial went horribly, but other than that I haven’t so much as looked at Metatron!”

“You must have left one horrible impression on him for him to come down here on his own volition and threaten us.” Severus lowered his hand.

“Well, excuse me!” Sirius snarled. “I wasn’t the one fusing with mortals.”

Severus turned white.

“He seems just as pissed about you fusing with Hermione as he is about anything else.”

“How do you know I successfully fused with her?”

“Other than Metatron telling me about it, I felt the change in cosmic energy.” Sirius turned yellow and gave him a small grin. “It was quite a peaceful feeling actually.”

“It was like nothing I’d ever felt.” Severus turned pink. “I did not know I was capable of such love until I gazed into her eyes.”

“I take it you had a wonderful night?”

Severus' glow intensified.

“Well, I hope it was worth it because now Metatron is after us!”

“Metatron is after us, but not the Trinity.” Severus’ glow returned to its regular hue.

“How much longer before they say something?”

“If they are all knowing, then they are fully aware of what happened. So far they have said and done nothing.” Severus scratched his chin.

“Perhaps they are waiting to strike.”

“Why would an all-powerful being need to wait to make their intentions known?”

“I don’t know. Why does an all-powerful Being do anything?”

“Because they can.” Severus dug his foot into the ground.

“Yes, and if Meatron gets a hold of them before we do it’s going to be a disaster.”

“They already know what’s happened.” Severus spoke to Sirius as if he was three. “By Metatron’s own admission, they didn’t send him. That means there’s time to persuade Dismas and St. Peter to take our side and intercede before the Trinity.”

“Do you really think two mortal saints could go up against an archangel?”

“Considering that one was present at the harrowing of hell and the other was Jesus’ favorite disciple, yes.”

“The harrowing of hell?” Sirius cocked his head.

“Dismas helped free the souls from Limbo after Jesus died.”

“I had no idea,” Sirius’ glow brightened. “What did he do?”

“From what I understand, he struck some demons with a cross and,” Severus shook his head. “Never mind. We just need to call him and tell him about Metatron’s threats.”

“What if they take Metatron’s side?”

“Then they’d be escorting us to Purgatory at the moment.”

“You have a point there.”

“Yes, I do. Now,” Severus’ waved his hand. “Turn around, I need to put on my robe.”

“Why?” Sirius’ lips curled upwards. “It isn’t like I haven’t seen any of it before.”

“I know, which is exactly why Metatron is in our faces.”

“It’s always my fault isn’t it?”

“I haven’t so much as looked upon Metatron until now. In light of that, yes, this is all your fault.”

Sirius rolled his eyes before turning around.

“What exactly did he do to you that has you so intimidated?” Severus asked.

“It isn’t anything he said. But,” Sirius’ glow dimmed. “After I laughed at my Purgatory hearing, he flared up.”

“I didn’t know angels could change colors.” Severus began to strip.

“He didn’t change colors or become red,” Sirius’ eyes grew. “It’s hard to explain, but I could feel an energy from him. It wasn’t as sinister as a Death Eater, but when he unfurled his wings and glared at me, I knew he was not going to rest until I suffered.”

“In other words,” Severus kicked off his pants. “He didn’t bow to your greatness.”

“It was worse than that” Sirius continued. “It was as if I’d personally offended him by existing.”

Severus strolled across the room, where his robe lay folded on the floor.

“I saw the prosecutor at my earthly trial, I remember the guards at Azkaban, and the Dementors swarming me, but I could laugh at them. I could psychologically overcome them.” His glow pulsated. “I couldn’t laugh at Metaron. There was no way to overcome him. He had all the power, and I knew it.”

Severus put on his robe.

“He recommended damnation forty times during his speech. He knew every one of my sins, and couldn’t have cared less about the good deeds I’d done. It was as if I was the scum of the earth who didn’t warrant a hearing.” Sirius turned blue. “The Trinity just ate it up. It was clear when I left for them to deliberate I was not going to be a straight shot. I was fairly certain I was going to hell, and I couldn’t appeal my case.”

Severus blinked.

“I’d never felt that powerless.” Sirius’ voice was barely audible. “I’d never felt like I was nothing until that moment.”

Severus twisted his lower lip.

“When they announced that I had a millennium in Purgatory, I’ll admit I was upset. You know that. But my sentence wasn’t enough for Metatron. That wasn’t good enough for him, and he wanted to make sure I knew it. He unfurled his wings again, turned this bright shade of white, and spoke how that was too good for me in a booming voice.”

Severus glanced at the ground.

“There was no reasoning with him. The Trinity watched him, and didn’t say a thing. There was no way to hide from it. I couldn’t retreat into myself when I was around him. I couldn’t appeal to any heroics or throw my name around. Perhaps worst of all,” He turned a darker shade of blue. “I knew he was right about me.”

“What?”

“You heard me, he was right. I am nothing more than a spoiled rich brat who spent more time bringing pain than doing something productive in life. Most of my life was spent complaining, often about situations I helped create. At the end of the day, I hated you because I needed to channel my anger, yet.” He bowed his head. “I still remember the fear he inspired in me, that sense that I was nothing to him. I am terrified of him because he knows me, and there’s nothing I can do to convince him that I have anything good in me.”

Silence suffocated the room.

“You can turn around now.” Severus began.

Sirius did not move.

“Please turn around so I can tell you something.”

Sirius did so.

“I cannot believe I’m saying this, but,” Severus paused. “I forgive you.”

“You forgive me?”

“You heard me correctly, and I refuse to repeat what I’ve just said.”

Sirius’ glow brightened.

“You harmed me deeper than I ever could have imagined, but you also helped me win the heart of the most wonderful woman in existence. For that,” Severus’ expression lightened. “I forgive you.”

Sirius turned yellow.

“Also, you are not nothing. There is good in you hidden deep down, very deep down, inside of you.”

“I like you too!” Sirius rushed over and embraced Severus.

Severus felt his essence reach for Sirius, but he did not fuse with him as he had with Hermione. Instead there was a different kind of affection for him, one born of people who had reached an understanding. Sirius may never be Severus’ favorite person, but the dog wasn’t as terrible as he was in life. That had to count for something.

The dark robed man embraced Sirius, knowing if things were falling apart, at least he had the other spirit on his side. Right now, that meant more than Severus would ever care to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	82. Chapter 82

Dismas had expected their glows to be yellow, or perhaps in Severus’ case pink. He had expected them to be smiling, perhaps even joking with each other. As usual he would hint at what he thought he saw occur with Hermione, but they would playfully deny it. Overall, this visit was supposed to be lighthearted.

Instead the spirits sitting on the couch were white, and their glows were dim. They were not smiling, nor was there any spark in their eyes. What threw Dismas off guard the most though was that they were sitting so close to each other, as if they were trying to seek comfort from each other.

“Is everything okay?” Dismas asked as he approached the other spirits.

“No,” Sirius admitted.

Dismas’ glow grew lessened. Why did Sirius appear as if he’d seen Satan himself?

“We had an unexpected visitor today,” Severus began.

“Who?” Dismas drawled.

Sirius’ voice was barely above a whisper. “Metatron.”

Dismas’ eyes widened as his glow flickered. “Why would he have seen either of you?”

“Apparently Metatron did not appreciate how close Hermione and I became during our last visit,” Severus began.

“Should he have been upset about what happened last night?”

“I did not think so.”

Dismas stared at him.

"Hermione and I had a pleasant visit. Our first night together was pleasurable, almost magical." Severus' glow was pink.

"She wasn't injured?" Dismas' glow grew brighter.

"Not at all."

“In other words, Metatron had no business here.”

“I don’t think what I did necessitated an archangel coming in here and harassing Sirius.”

Sirius glanced at the ground.

“Do you know who sent Metatron?” Dismas asked.

“He came of his own volition,” Sirius replied.

“Of course he did,” the saint muttered.

“We don’t mean to bring up drama, but he scared us.” Sirius looked up. “Actually, he just scared me.”

Dismas turned to Severus.

“He was not as spectacular as Sirius made him out to be. I found him to be revolting both in his behavior and his appearance."

Sirius' glow pulsated. “Don’t let him hear that.”

“Metatron won’t hear that,” Dismas’ glow was a dull red. “He won’t hear anything you say because he is going to stay out of Purgatory and do his job.”

“We don’t mean to cause tensions between you two,” Severus began. “Still, we thought you should know what occurred.”

“I am glad to know what is going on,” Dismas replied. “Metatron is overstepping his bounds, and he knows it.”

“Perhaps he is not,” Severus offered.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“Last night Hermione and I were…” Severus’ expression was that of a teenager who had just been caught half naked in the hallway by his headmaster.

Dismas stepped closer to him.

“We were,” Severus sat up straighter. “Quite intimate.”

“So Metatron took it upon himself to send a message to you about that?”

“More or less.”

“Metraon has no right to speak to anyone about any level of intimacy with mortals.” Dismas shook his head.

“Excuse me?”

“Metatron has had his own experiences interacting with mortals, and it was, how do you say,” Dismas tapped his foot. “Kinky.”

“Oh?” Severus leaned closer. "What exactly did he do?"

“Have you ever seen the Ecstasy of St. Theresa?”

“I have only seen pictures of the statue, but I do recall there was an angel standing over her with a golden spear.”

“Hmm hmm.” Dismas nodded.

“That was Metatron?” Severus’ glow was yellow.

“Yes, and he is insanely proud of that statue. Granted, he’s a little irritated that they didn’t get his facial features correct, but there’s so much gold around him he’s willing to ignore the inaccuracies.”

“Does he still stab mortals with that spear?”

“Not on earth.”

“But in heaven…”

“Let’s just say,” there was a spark in Dismas’ eyes, “Theresa still likes it rough.”

Severus couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Wait,” Sirius stared at them as if they’d just been speaking Spanish. “Metatron doesn’t hate mortals, only me?”

“He does not hate mortals per se, but he is overzealous in his prosecution of them at times,” Dismas replied. "So much so that he forgets there is good in them."

"He certainly doesn't see much good in me."

Severus felt no urge to make a comment.

"He would see good in you if he allowed himself to."

"But he won't."

"In his defense, it must be difficult to only go over the sins of mortals. If your only job is to focus on the worst of humanity you could easily lose perspective. The fact that Metatron gets the cases most likely to result in damnation helps little."

"That does not justify his actions," Severus cut in.

"No, but it explains them." 

"But he doesn't hate me?" Sirius asked.

"No, though it might be fair to say he has taken quite a disliking to you."

Sirius’ frown deepened.

“You seem to have that effect on people,” Severus deadpanned.

“At least people feel something other than annoyance towards me.”

“Because hatred is much preferable than simply forgetting about you or being annoyed.”

“What can I say? I leave a strong impression on others,” Sirius replied with a smirk.

“I’m glad to see you two haven’t lost your sense of humor,” Dismas’ smile returned.

“Indeed,” Severus’ glow had returned to normal.

“Maybe but,” Sirius wrung his hands. “What about the program?”

“What about it?” Dismas asked.

“Metatron implied the Trinity could pull the plug on it.”

Dismas turned red.

“I take it Metatron was speaking out of turn,” Severus replied.

“That is a nice way of putting it,” Dismas growled.

“But they aren’t shutting the program down?” Severus asked.

“Why would they?”

“Because Metatron implied it was a waste of resources,” Sirius replied.

“Is Hermione thriving more than she did when you met her?”

“She is,” a smile tugged at Severus’ lips.

“Then Metatron and I are overdue for a conversation about him focusing on his own job and allowing me to focus on mine.”

“Do you think you can take on an archangel?”

“I know I can.”

“I hope you do not get in trouble on our account,” Sirius began in a weak voice.

“I’ll be fine,” Dismas replied. “Metatron can be reasoned with fairly easily.”

“How?”

Dismas was surprised by the loudness of Sirius’ voice.

“I mean if there’s some secret to dealing with him I would like to know it, if only so I don’t spend all of eternity trying to avoid him.”

“When you get to heaven, Metatron will soften his stance towards you.” Dismas’ glow was yellow once more. “He accepts a soul which is in the presence of the beatific vision, though he's not always thrilled about it.”

Sirius' glow brightened.

“And if not, Severus will defend you from him.”

“Excuse me?” Severus raised an eyebrow.

“You heard me.” Dismas grinned.

“I refuse to spend an eternity as Sirius’ personal bodyguard.”

“I refuse to spend an eternity being guarded by you," Sirius replied.

“I am glad we have reached an understanding.”

Dismas covered his mouth and suppressed a laugh.

“Yes, after all these years you seem to finally understand me.”

“I will never fully understand you, but I can at least tolerate your presence a little more.”

“So I’m back to being only tolerable?”

“You were always only tolerable.”

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when he saw the gleam in Severus’ eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“Tell me Severus,” Dismas interrupted. “How were things with Hermione last night?”

“They were amazing.” Severus was pink. “I have never been so at peace in a woman’s presence.”

“That’s a drastic improvement given how you felt about her and this mission when it began.”

“Indeed.” Severus’ glow brightened. “I have finally found an amazing woman who I could see spending an eternity with.”

“Once you complete this program, I’m sure you will spend the rest of eternity with her,” Dismas answered. “Assuming she remains on the path she is on.”

Severus hummed and nodded.

“Speaking of Hermione, my original intention was to retrieve the tuxedo.” Dismas held out his hands. “Are you finished with it?”

“I am,” Severus bent down and picked up the tuxedo. “Thank you again. It was quite helpful in assisting Hermione.”

“I would imagine she was very eager to share in any kind of intimacy when you wore that.” Dismas took it from him.

“Indeed.” His glow returned to his pink hue.

“Anyway, I should return this to St. Peter and speak to Metatron about his little intrusion.”

“He said he may be in court,” Sirius noted.

“I can wait until he’s done,” Dismas’ voice was low.

Sirius’ lips curled up.

“In the meantime,” there was a twinkle in Dismas’ eyes. “Don’t worry about Metatron. He doesn’t have the clout to end this program and he knows it. The program will continue as it has been, barring a catastrophic failure.”

“I will do everything in my power not to fail Hermione,” Severus vowed.

“I know you will,” Dismas answered.

With that, the saint returned to heaven, more than ready to confront the angelic prosecutor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	83. Chapter 83

What should he tell Hermione?

From the time Dismas left, Severus meditated on how much his beloved mortal needed to know. It seemed unkind to withhold the fact that the program could be coming to an end, but then again had anyone ended it? Metatron wasn’t sent by the Trinity, and by all accounts, had no insider knowledge on the Trinity’s thoughts outside of his role as prosecutor. For all Severus knew, the archangel wanted to rile up Sirius because he was bored. Perhaps at one point, Dismas had grabbed Metatron’s spear and pierced his chest with it, which was the reason the archangel felt the need to interfere. Severus savored the image of a speared Metatron as he teleported from heaven to earth.

When he arrived in Hermione’s sitting room, she was laying dow on her sofa, dressed entirely in black. She gazed upon him as if he was the man she had just married after a long courtship. His glow brightened.

“Did you have fun in Purgatory?” She purred.

“As much fun as I could have sitting in a room, wondering how long it will be until I see you again.”

She hummed as she moved her legs closer to her body.

“Did you have fun eating lunch?” He asked.

“As much fun as you can have eating a bologna sandwich.”

He chuckled as he sat beside her.

“Honestly, I ate too much at breakfast,” she adjust the pillows under her. “I’m still not hungry.”

“I told you not to have that fourth pancake.”

“I know.” She tapped his hand. “Yet I couldn’t resist them. I never would’ve imagined that I could make blueberry pancakes from scratch, especially not with a man I loved by my side.”

“You can do anything you wish, and in some form I will always be with you.”

“I know you will be.” She relaxed. “It is the one thing that gives me comfort on my more difficult days.”

He gazed into her eyes.

“We can do anything together except make cloud figures.” Her expression became wistful. “Sadly, I am helpless in making anything from a puffy cloud.”

“Indeed.” Severus’ glow lessened.

“Can you make anything you want out of a cloud?”

“I mean you cannot make a sentient angel, but other than that anything you can imagine you can create.”

“I’d love to create anything with just a thought.”

“It is an interesting experience.” His glow became softer. “And you would be amazing at creating cloud entities.”

Her lips curled up.

“What would you create first?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “A half-kneazle I suppose, to honor Crookshanks.”

Across the room, the cat let out a small meow.

“Speaking of which.” Her eyes grew. “Are there animals in heaven?”

“I do not know.” His glow flickered. “I have not asked.”

She sat up straighter.

“I know they are not in Purgatory, but given that they can’t sin that is not surprising.”

“True.” She shifted in place. “I would be deathly miserable without Crookshanks though. It would devastate me if he wasn’t in heaven.”

The half kneazle strutted over to Hermione, tail high in the air.

“I am certain the Trinity would make accommodations for such an,” he twisted his lips. “Interesting beast.”

She giggled. He raised an eyebrow.

“You know, you can say when you like something,” She caught her breath.

“Excuse me?”

“You can drop the act. I know deep down inside you like Crookshanks.”

“I tolerate Crookshanks. If he were not with you I would not care about him one way or the other,” he gave her a playful scowl.

The feline swatted at him.

“I don’t think that’s fair. You more than tolerate him.” She stroked Crookshanks’ back.

“Yes, because I love you. I assure you I have no other motive.”

“I beg to differ. Deep inside, you’ve always wanted a pet.”

“When I was a child I was not opposed to the idea. I had always fancied myself a gerbil person though.”

“Gerbil?”

“Indeed.” His glow was a soft yellow. “I wanted something small which wouldn’t keep me up at night.”

“They are quiet I suppose.”

“Also, a gerbil was unique. Everyone else could like cats and dogs, but I did not want to conform to their standards.”

“It is difficult to envision you conforming to anyone’s standards,” she took his hand. “Which is why I love you.”

A sense of peace walked over him. Her love flowed through him as his anxiety melted away. If the Trinity was love, how could they deny them an eternity together in these forms? Could they not allow him to be happy with her, regardless of any plan they’d concocted?

“Are you okay?” She released him.

“I am perfect.” His voice was soft.

“You seemed to go somewhere else right now.”

“I was only thinking about our circumstances.”

“What about them?”’

“I was wondering how an all-loving being could ever deny me love,” he replied.

“I don’t imagine they deny anyone love.”

“True, but things are perfect.” His glow was light blue. “Almost too perfect.”

“What do you mean?” Anxiety snuffed out the sparkle in her eyes.

“I am not used to anything being stable,” he admitted. “I am used to promises being broken, relationships being shattered, and being alone.”

“That won’t happen,” Hermione leaned closer to her. “I promise you, that won’t happen.”

“Can you make that promise?”

“I can.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“I promise here and now that I will only be loyal to you.” She clasped his hands into hers. “I promise that I will love only you for the rest of eternity.”

Her love was overpowering the nagging voice in his head which warned that most love was not eternal.

“You will never be alone,” she continued. “I promise you that.”

“Hermione,” he whispered as he removed his hand from hers. “Eternity is a long time. There are may men more worthy of your affection than me.”

“There is nobody more worthy of my affection than you.”

He twisted his lower lip. “It may not be wise to tie yourself to me, at least not in our present forms.”

“Why would I not?”

“There are plenty of reasons.”

“What about last night?” She shook. “Do you regret it.”

“No, never,” his glow was white. “But I never want you to regret it.”

“How could I? What we had last night was beyond my wildest dreams,” the spark returned to her eyes. “It was as if I’d finally found my other half. For the first time, I felt as if I wasn’t facing the world alone. I felt like myself.”

“This could all end,” he warned. “The Trinity could stop this program anytime they please. Perhaps they believe you are not thriving, or decide that we have grown too close.” His glow was a darker blue. “What will become of you then?”

“I’ll wait until I die to be with the man I love.”

“You should not eagerly anticipate death. You should live your life.”

“I am living my life,” She replied. “For the first time I am living my life.”

He closed his mouth.

“Even if you are in heaven, I’ll know you are near me. I’ll survive based on that fact alone.”

“You say that now, but if I leave tomorrow it will pain you.” He bowed his head. “I would hate for you to become so engulfed in pain that you become the person you were.”

“Before you came, I didn’t know what a healthy relationship between lovers was. I’d seen it with Draco and Ginny and again from Harry and Luna, but it was so different to experience it. What we have is better than anything I could have imagined. I never want it to end.”

“It very well could end.” He raised his head.

“Then let’s cherish every moment.”

“Are you certain that’s your attitude?”

She kissed him. “My entire being is certain of this.”

“Well then.” He held her close to him. “I say we head towards the future together.”

With that, they drew together once more, forgetting for one moment that everything could end based on the whim of one Almighty being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is deeply appreciated!


	84. Chapter 84

“So let me get this straight,” the Creator began from her golden throne. “You bet Theresa that if another human and spirit fused, she would get a bottle of tequila.”

“Technically it was if an angel and a mortal fused…” Metatron began.

“No, it was if a spirit and a mortal fused, and you know it,” Theresa argued.

“I think it was if a spirit and a mortal fused,” the Redeemer mused.

“Spirit sounds right,” the Paraclete chimed in.

Metatron scowled Sometimes it was annoying to have an all-knowing boss.

“I don’t know who I’m more disappointed with,” the Creator frowned as she gazed upon the spirits before her. “You or Theresa.”

Theresa gave her a sheepish grin while Metatron glanced at the graying cloud underneath him. Where and how severe would the upcoming storm be?

“I think I’m more disappointed in Metatron,” The Redeemer sat on a crystal throne to the right of the Creator.

“Why?” He looked up.

“Because you were waxing rhapsodically about tequila,” the Creator replied.

“Waxing rhapsodically is a bit of an exaggeration,” Metatron drawled.

“Yes, he did mention it had an aftertaste of vomit,” Theresa offered. “That should’ve deterred me, but I wouldn’t listen.”

“How would he know what vomit tasted like?” Paraclete asked. He was perched between the thrones on a silver bar, enjoying the occasional stroke from the other two members of the Trinity.

“Uh,” Theresa glanced at Metatron, a question in her eyes.

“Some homeless man told me about it once,” Metatron admitted. “I assumed from what you’ve mentioned that vomit tasted bad.”

“It’s the worst.”

“See, I did say it was bad! I tried to steer her away from it.”

“No, at one point you told her the aftertaste was fine, but when it became clear you could lose the bet, you backtracked knowing we would find out,” the Redeemer began with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

Metatron shifted his eyes from the Trinity towards the cloud below.

“I think we should put a ban on gambling,” the Paraclete offered.

“No,” the Creator shook her head. “Then we would have to explain away that whole Job thing and why it wasn't unethical.”

“We don’t need the headache of you maybe being wrong about something with theology being what it is,” Metatron answered.

“Agreed,” the Redeemer replied, his previous amusement evaporated.

“We would still discourage you from engaging in gambling though,” Paraclete replied.

“Metatron!”

The archangel spun around. Theresa kept her eyes on the Trinity, noting their lack of shock. She supposed an all-knowing would know whether or not someone was coming. Still, it wouldn’t kill them to give everyone else a heads up.

“You have a lot of nerve!” An inflamed saint stormed towards them.

“Hello Dismas,” the archangel smirked. “I was wondering when you would appear.”

“Don’t play coy with me!” Dismas snapped. “Not after what you did!”

Metatron’s wing twitched.

“Did you visit Sirius and Severus just to provoke me?” Dismas poked his finger onto the archangel’s chest.

“Why would he want to provoke you?” Theresa asked.

“Yes,” Metatron replied. “I have nothing against you. There is no reason whatsoever to provoke you into doing anything.”

“Then why are you interfering with the Pilot Purgatory Program?”

“How is he interfering?” Theresa stared at Metatron. After a moment her glow intensified. She lowered her voice, “You didn’t…”

“I did.” He lowered his wings.

She glared at him.

“What? Someone needed to say something. I was only trying to explain to them the consequences of their actions," Metatron argued.

“I told you to leave those young lovers alone!” She snapped.

The Redeemer stifled a chuckle. This was much more entertaining than the interrogation he had considered.

“Why did you feel the need to say anything?” Theresa asked. “They were doing just fine without you!”

“Just fine? They were interfering with the cosmic order,” Metatron turned a dull red. “Did you expect me to sit and do nothing.”

“Yes!” Dismas and Theresa exclaimed in unison.

“Unless the Trinity sent you, you had no right to speak with either of them,” Dismas retorted.

“We certainly would have liked to have been informed of any visits you planned to make to Purgatory.”

All eyes fell on the three thrones.

“It seems as if you have been busy,” the Creator continued.

“Perhaps your case load is too light,” the Redeemer offered.

“Or being ‘the voice of God’ is going to your head again,” the Paraclete ruffled its feathers.

“Please understand.” Metatron folded his hands. “I was not trying to defy you or speak out of turn. When I saw a mortal and a spirit fuse three nights ago I became alarmed. Something needed to be said. Since Dismas wasn’t going to interfere, I decided to do it for him.”

“I was running the program just fine until you came barging in!”

“While I appreciate your zeal, that is our realm, not yours.” The Creator's tone came off more as a warning.

“The program is Dismas’ and Peter’s to run,” the Redeemer looked at the good thief and grinned. “They are doing a fine job too.”

Dismas’ glow returned to its usual hue.

“I do not deny that Dismas and Peter are doing the best they can, but they seem to be ignoring basic facts,” Metatron pointed to the ground. “Namely that mortals and spirits are in separate realms for a reason. A spirit fusing with a mortal should be done after careful consideration, not because of pleasure.”

“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” A still red Theresa grumbled. "It's not like you've never had contact with a mortal or, you know, stabbed her!"

“Our case was different.” He looked at her. “I was ordered to visit you. I did not come of my own volition.”

“Oh so now you were forced to see me!”

“Forced is a strong word.” Metatron turned white. “But I never would’ve thought to stab you until I had express permission from the Trinity.”

“So the other visions were all Trinity ordered. You had no interest in seeing me on your own.”

“Do not put words in my mouth. Even you can admit that obtaining permission for our first time was the only proper way for me to appear to you.”

“Perhaps Severus should’ve gotten permission to fuse with Hermione.” Dismas approached the Trinity. “Yet I know if his feelings for Hermione were not part of the plan you would have interfered or told Peter not to loan him the tuxedo.”

“You are correct,” the Paraclete replied. “We allowed it to happen for our own reasons.”

“And I’m sure they are very good ones,” Metatron returned to his usual hue. “Still, I am growing concerned about whether or not Hermione is thriving.”

“With all due respect, you’ve been prosecuting cases, not monitoring Hermione,” Dismas replied.

“Every once in a while I glance down at earth. This program is quite intriguing after all,” Metatron began.

“I sense a but.”

“I know emotional dependency when I see it. Hermione is becoming emotionally dependent on Severus.”

“She’s in love with him,” Theresa argued. “People in love tend to be dependent upon each other.”

“He is a spirit and she is a mortal.” Metatron threw up his hands. “Surely I cannot be the only entity which sees a problem with this.”

The Creator scratched Paraclete’s chin as the Redeemer tapped his chair. Paraclete fluffed his wings.

“Hermione was meant to be loved. All humans are,” Dismas answered.

“By a spirit?”

“Why not?” Theresa cut in with a dreamy look in her eyes “Love between a mortal and a spirit can be a beautiful thing, regardless of whether or not they can always be with each other or not.”

Metatron’s lips quirked upwards.

“Metatron has a point,” the Creator cut in. “There are good reasons a mortal and a spirit should not get emotionally involved, especially given the former’s inability to thing eternally.”

“Yes, but this is a unique case," Dismas replied.

“How?” The Redeemer asked.

“We all knew this program was going to be complicated,” Dismas answered. “We knew Severus and Hermione were yearning for love, and there was a chance they would find it with each other.”

“And in a century or so when Hermione perishes they can share their love all they want. I will even throw them a Valentine’s Day party, assuming they don’t find a cloud and spend all of eternity fusing upon it,” Metatron replied.

“That is quite enough,” Paraclete interrupted.

They all returned their attention to the Trinity.

“Metatron has a point,” the Redeemer began. “Neither Severus nor Hermione are meditating on eternal things, which is a component of true bliss.”

“Still we are love,” the Paraclete added. “Who are we to deny love?”

Dismas’ eyes flickered in triumph.

“Yet love can take many different forms and be expressed differently given the circumstance,” the Creator mused. “They don’t need to be in the same physical location to experience love.”

“True.” Dismas’ glow dimmed.

“Completion of the program should be them learning the lessons which prevented them from partaking in the beatific vision, not be in a relationship which over time may be impossible to maintain,” the Redeemer added.

“Could this be truly too difficult to maintain?” Theresa asked. “They love each other. Can’t they make that work?”

“Severus can only be in Hermione’s house, and nobody but her can see him. This will cause problems sooner than you expect.”

“How soon?” Dismas squeaked.

“The times and the seasons are not for you to know,” the Paraclete replied. “It is only your job to prepare him for the possibility that this could begin causing problems for both him and Hermione.”

“I can relay the message, but what of the program? Are Sirius and Severus at risk for returning to Purgatory?”

The Trinity remained silent.

“I plead for you to be lenient with them and take their emotions into account,” Dismas continued. “They have grown so much over the last few months. Their progress is quite impressive.”

“It is,” the Creator admitted.

“Whatever happens, please keep the complexity of their mission and their personal growth into account.”

The Trinity’s expressions softened.

“I’m sorry, but I think you are forgetting why they are there in the first place,” Metatron cut in. “I know Severus is remorseful, and Sirius seems to at least know enough to be scared, but the dog at least is a serious sinner. One is not sentence to a millennium Purgatory because they once stole a candy bar after all.”

“They are repenting sinners,” Dismas argued.

“Severus is defying the natural order and Sirius is encouraging it.”

“They are bringing love into the world!”

“Love has nothing to do with this!”

“They are achieving redemption!”

“They are not going to bring back Barabbas and Gestas!”

Dismas was a stark white.

“This isn’t about Sirius and Severus and we all know it,” Metatron continued. “You need this program to work because you can’t save the two people you desperately wished you could save from damnation. It doesn’t matter how hurt Hermione is in the long run provided you can help two souls into heaven. If you couldn’t save Barabbas and Gestas, then you can save them!”

Dismas’ glow dulled.

“Start thinking rationally,” Metatron continued. “This whole program could be failing all because you are too blinded by your loyalty to your compatriots to admit what is occurring, namely the natural order is being disrupted so a mortal can become dependent upon a spirit who’s supposed to be working his way to heaven. Severus and Sirius are not Gestas and Barabbas, and should not be confused with them.”

The former thief bowed his head.

“That’s a low blow!”

Everyone’s attention was on Theresa.

“You can say you disagree with Dismas’ methods, and you can say what we shared on earth was nothing to you, but you do not have the right to attack him like that! Not after everything he’s done for those souls in hell!”

“I was only trying to be realistic,” Metatron argued.

“You can’t understand how mortals love, so you’re just going to criticize it and pretend our feelings are nothing! If you can’t be right then you’ll just attack anyone who disagrees with you! You-you bastardo!’

“Do not drag our situation into this! It’s clouding your vision!”

“Oh no, I think I see everything clearly. After almost half a millennium, I think I understand you perfectly! You rompecorazones!”

Before Metatron could say anything, she stormed away.

“It looks like you’re going to need to do some repentance of your own,” the Redeemer noted.

Metatron stared at the place the nun had been.

The Trinity faced Dismas.

“Everything you’ve said is duly noted, Dismas,” the Paraclete began. “Still, Severus needs a sustainable relationship with Hermione.”

“Understood,” Dismas answered.

“Ask him to search his heart and determine if Hermione can thrive as things are. Once he determines the answer to that, we will know if the program was successful,” the Creator replied.

“Yes.”

“In the meantime,” the Redeemer’s eyes were glistening. “You are doing a stellar job helping them. You should be proud of yourself and the work you’ve accomplished not only with Sirius and Severus, but all the Purgatory souls you’ve helped comfort, as well as the damned souls you released.”

“Thank you.” Dismas’ glow was a bright yellow.

“As for you, Metatron,” the Paraclete began in a harsher voice.

The archangel focused upon them.

“You have spoken out of turn, interfered with matters you had no business interfering in, incited a mortal to indulge in something most consider a vice, and have unleashed an infuriated Theresa upon all of heaven,” the Creator began.

“These are serious crimes indeed,”: the Redeemer replied.

“Please,” Metatron fell to his knees. “I meant no ill intent. I thought I was defending you.”

“We know,” Paraclete answered. “You may be overzealous and make ill-advised bets, but nobody could deny your loyalty to us.”

Metatron relaxed.

“That being said,” the Creator leaned back in her golden throne. “You need to face the consequences of your actions.”

Metatron held his wings close to his body.

“We have decided you are going to honor your bet,” the Redeemer continued. “You are going to earth to retrieve an unopened bottle of tequila.”

“I can do that,” Metatron answered.

“With no money,” Paraclete chimed in.

Metatron was a light blue. He knew better than to ask for advice on how to perform that task.

“You must also find an unused cup,” the Creator replied. “If even one person has drunk from it, then we will reject it.”

“Yes.”

“Also,” the Redeemer continued. “You will have the same caseload. I trust this task will not interfere with your ability to prosecute cases effectively.”

“No, it won’t,” Metatron replied.

“We are glad to hear it.” Paraclete smoothed his wings.

Metatron began to walk away.

“Also.”

He stopped.

“I would start reevaluating the concept of a soulmate,” the Creator’s lips curled up.

“We have more free time than you believe,” the Redeemer answered. "Being timeless gives you plenty of time to contemplate these things, if you know what we mean."

His eyes grew.

“You may both go,” Paraclete concluded.

With that, the saint and archangel disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	85. Chapter 85

How was he going to tell Hermione what the Trinity had said?

Severus stared at the white wall of his Purgatory room, still processing what Dismas had said. If the Trinity thought his relationship with Hermione might be unsustainable, then what hope was there? Granted, the Trinity never said outright that it was unsustainable, only that it might be. Perhaps if he behaved differently he could convince them it was sustainable, and that he needed to be by Hermione’s side regardless of the forms they were in.

“Do you need me to go down there with you?”

Severus turned around.

Sirius put down _Nicomachean Ethics._ “I can go down with you, if only to give you moral support.”

“I appreciate your concern but I need to do this on my own, especially since only I can talk to her,” Severus replied.

“I know.” He wrung his hands. “But I still don’t want you to feel alone when you speak with her.”

“I will be fine.” Severus’ lips curled up. “Though I never imagined you’d care so much.”

“I don’t,” there was a gleam in Sirius’ eyes. “I’m just shaken up by Metatron. The second I get over my fear of him I’ll go back to not caring about you.”

“That time may come sooner than you realizes. It sounds like he has more important things than us to worry about that this program.”

“True.” Sirius smirked. "But I mean seriously, tequila? The least he could do was introduce Theresa to some drinkable alcohol."

"His tastes leave a lot to be desired." Severus cracked a smile. "But if obtaining that bottle keeps him off our case for a time then I will be forever appreciative."

"As will I."

Silence fell between them.

“I will let you know how things go.” Severus returned his attention to the wall. “Perhaps if I’m lucky, Hermione and I will find a way to make our relationship sustainable in the Trinity’s eyes and I can spend the rest of her days with her.”

“I hope so.”

Without another word, Severus appeared in Hermione’s kitchen.

The first thing he heard was the clank of pellets falling into a metal cat dish. Crookshanks let out a soft meow.

“You don’t need to look at me as if I’m starving you.” She sighed “I take very good care of you, and you know it.”

Crookshanks let out a louder meow, in clear disagreement. Feeding him five minutes late was anything but giving him the care he deserved.

“Honestly.” She put the cat food up. "You are one of the whiniest beings I've ever met."

After a short glare, the half-kneazle began eating.

“Hermione?”

“There you are! I was wondering…” the playfulness evaporated the second she noticed his blue hue. She gulped. “What happened?”

“Dismas and the Trinity had a conversation about the program.” Severus floated towards her.

The color drained from Hermione’s face as her heart slowed.

“They are impressed with our progress, but they fear our relationship is unsustainable.” His shoulders fell.

“What’s unsustainable about it?” She asked. “I’m happy, you’re happy. What is the problem?”

“I don’t think they agree with my methods of making you happy.”

“What’s objectionable about them?”

“My mission was to give you eudaimonia, not become your lover.”

“But you’re being my lover is giving me eudaimonia.”

He shook his head.

“Don’t you believe I’m happy?” Her voice cracked.

“Of course I do.” He touched her hand. “Although I am at a loss as to why I make you happy.”

“Must I go over the list again?”

“No, it is clear enough for your own reasons, you like me.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you.”

Hermione held her breath, waiting for his “but.”

“Will I help you flourish in the long run?”

“Why would you not be able to?” She asked.

“You must admit this whole relationship is unconventional. It could prove distracting to both of us.”

“How?”

“It could inhibit your long-term happiness.”

“That point still confuses me. I am enjoying spending quiet evenings alone with you instead of fretting about my father dying.”

Severus’ glow brightened.

“If the Trinity cannot understand that I am happy then they are not as all-knowing as people claim they are,” she concluded.

“That is part of the problem though.” His glow lessened. “I am meant to meditate on the things of heaven, and you on the things ofearth.”

“Oh yes, I would love nothing more than to meditate on how my friends are happily married while I am alone stroking my half-kneazle.” She rolled her eyes. “Nothing excites me more than eating ice cream out of the tub while hating half the world. Truly the things of this earth deserve my undivided attention.”

His lips quirked upwards.

“I was going nowhere before you came, and you made me happy.” Her throat constricted. “Does nobody care that you make me happy?”

“I care about that, Sirius does, as does Dismas,” he bowed his head. “Sadly, they do not have the power to keep the program going indefinitely.”

“That’s all up to the Trinity.” Her voice softened.

“Ultimately, yes.”

Only the sound of Crookshanks devouring his food could be heard.

“So they don’t think you can make me happy forever?” She began.

“They have their doubts,” he admitted.

“They don’t care about my feelings as a mortal or about how we can improve the lives of others together with our potions…” Her voice trailed off as her eyes lit up.

“I’m certain in their own way they care, but since when has an all-powerful being ever made its intentions known?”

“We need to help others flourish!”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t you get it?” She clasped her hands together. “We need you to make other people happy. That way, it’s clear that you’re bringing more joy than pain on earth.”

“I thought we were doing so,” he began. “Three of the potions we made are in their final stages, and a fourth is set to be tested at the center this weekend. If that isn’t helping the world I am at a loss as to what is.”

“Yes, but I’m thinking we need to do something more direct,” she replied. “I’m thinking you could bring peace to Draco and Harry.”

Now he was white.

“When Draco was here at the same time as you were, he felt so much peace. He feels as if you’re close to him, which means more than he can express.”

“I would have made my presence known much sooner had I not been detained.”

“i know, but what if you can do something more direct?” She suggested.

“Do you want to tell them about my visits?”

“Not yet, but I could give them a special afternoon, like, oh…” She gasped. “I could make them your cookies!”

“Are you sure that’s advisable?”

“Why not?” She frowned. “Are you afraid I cannot make them?”

“Far from it,” his glow brightened. “If anyone could make them it would be you.”

“Thank you.”

“There is no need to thank me for honesty although,” his glow was blue again. “How would you have gotten my recipe?”

“For a time I can tell them I ran into it while reading a magazine

“Then they could have my cookies without believing you were talking to me.”

“Exactly.” She snapped her fingers.

“I would like that.” His glow was softer.

“Then there’s Harry…”

“No.”

She startled at the harshness in his voice.

“I am more than happy to give Draco peace, but I cannot say the same for Potter.” His glow was a light red.

“First of all, I thought we agreed he was Harry.”

“Harry, Potter, whatever you want to call him,” Severus crossed his arms. “I have no interest in listening to his hero worship.”

“But you are one of his heroes.”

“He is sorely lacking in them then.” He muttered.

“It would give him so much peace if he could speak with you, even if it is through me.”

“If he wants inner peace he can see a therapist. He is probably in desperate need of one anyway.”

“He is doing just fine.” Her voice lowered half an octave.

“Then he doesn’t need to make peace with me.”

“Maybe he doesn’t, but if he knew you were safe and happy, it may help him thrive. Just knowing you’re at peace could have a huge impact upon him.”

“Haven’t you indicated I’m at peace?”

“Yes, but as far as he knows it’s all conjecture. He doesn’t know the truth,” she replied.

“He does not need to know the truth.”

“Look,” she pinched the bridge of her nose. “If you want to stay on earth we need to prove your presence is needed. This is one way to do it.”

“I hardly think I was put on earth to be Harry’s charity project.” His glow was redder.

“How is having a conversation with him being his charity project?”

“Because I can’t figure out how I feel about him!”

She took one step back.

“This boy was nothing but a pain in my arse throughout my life, in large part because he was the-boy-who-lived!”

“He never asked to be that though!”

“I know!”

She fell silent.

“I know he never asked to be adored by half the Wizarding World, just like he never asked to be Lily and James’ son! Yet until I fell in love with you, that mattered deeply to me.”

“And now?”

“I am almost happy James and Lily were wed.” He turned yellow. “No, I am happy they married each other.”

She relaxed.

“It is difficult to explain. I wish Lily hadn’t died. If I could undo one mistake, it would be never to tell Voldemort that prophecy. Still, she could never make me happy. I understand that now.”

“I suppose I’m glad to hear that you don’t feel passionate towards her anymore, given that I’m a petty, jealous woman.”

“You aren’t petty and jealous.” He stroked her cheek. “You are someone who is sometimes insecure, as am I.”

She touched his hand.

“It makes thinking about Potter complicated now because I no longer hate him because of his parents. Even if I wish he had respected my privacy, he was only trying to help.” He released her.

“In other words, you want to like him, but you can’t quite bring yourself to do so.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” He gave her a playful scowl. “He’s still an obnoxious twat who caused more headaches for me than I care to count.”

“Technically, I’m still the know-it-all who tried too hard to impress you. That matters little to you though.”

“Oh no, you are far from a know-it-all,” he whispered. “You are an amazing woman who I am lucky to have known in my afterlife.”

She gave him a small grin.

“I still need to wrap my mind around what seeing Potter will mean to me.”

“In other words, we’ll start with Draco.”

“Exactly.”

“I can do that,” she replied. “When do you want to see him and his family? I’m sure all of them would love to feel your presence.”

“Whenever they can come is fine with me.” He shrugged. “I have all of eternity.”

“I hope so anyway.”

“Oh I do.” He brushed his lips against hers. “The only question is what form I will take.”

“Whatever form you are in, I will be madly in love with you,” she held his hand.

In silence, they gazed upon each other. For one moment, they were at peace.

Shouldn't that be all that mattered? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	86. Chapter 86

Dare I hope I can bake?

Hermione peeked into the bowl of dough. It seemed to be the consistency Severus said it should be.

“Do you plan on staring at the dough all day, or would you like to bake your cookies?” He teased, his voice contained no venom. 

“Of course they won't.” She arranged the dough into circles, careful to space them properly. Once the final clump was put atop the cookie sheet, she glanced at Severus.

“Well done,” he gave her a small smile. “I could not have done it any better.”

“Don’t say anything yet,” she opened the oven door. “For all I know this oven is broken from lack of use and the cookies will be severely undercooked, or worse, burnt.”

“If it is undercooked we can put them in for more time. If they are burnt, you will smell it.”

“I know.” She exhaled. “I don’t know if I trust this oven though given how little I’ve used it.”

“It made the roast just fine.”

“True.” She placed the cookie sheet into the oven and shut the door. “But that isn’t as delicate as baking cookies.”

“Heat is heat regardless of what is being baked,” he noted. “If you set the correct temperature then I assure you, you did everything perfectly.”

“Perhaps.” She cast a spell to let her know when the baked good were complete. “I hope I put enough sugar in it.”

“Believe me, you put in the perfect amount.”

“Are you certain? Scorpius and Cassie like sweet things. What if the cookies aren’t sweet enough?”

“If you add another cup of sugar you will ruin the consistency.”

“I know.” She leaned against the counter. “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around baking though.”

He opened his mouth.

“I know.” She held up her hand. “I know it’s just like potions and the process is the same. It’s just hard for me to imagine how a cookie is like a potion.”

“Why?”

“Because I could brew a potion, but I would only destroy cookies, at least according to Molly.”

“You should never have listened to Molly.” Severus frowned. “She was wrong about you in so many ways.”

“I know that now, but at one time, she was like a second mother.”

“She seemed to be an inconsistent one.”

“What do you mean?”

“From everything you’ve told me, she wanted you to be the perfect housewife, but thought you were too incompetent to do so. I have never seen such a case of mixed signals.”

“But I needed her help. I was a muggleborn. How could I ever be a good wife to a pureblood if I didn’t know what I was doing?” She bowed her head.

“I never imagined her as a pureblood supremacist.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Of course she isn’t, I never meant to imply otherwise. Still, she had ideas for who her sons were to marry. She wanted her grandchildren to be raised a certain way. Actually,” she swallowed. “She wanted biological grandchildren period.”

He turned blue.

“I think that’s why I took what she said to heart.” She looked at him. “I already felt like a failure as a woman when the healer told me I was sterile. Babies are so important to wizards. It’s a woman’s duty to have a child. If I couldn’t handle one thing like have children, then why bother with any other domestic duty?”

“You are far more than your uterus.”

“Am I to the Wizarding World?” She whispered. “You know how things are. Everyone is obsessed with bloodlines. Purebloods, halfbloods, muggle borns, they’re all categories which define people. Every pureblood can trace their family back generations, even the Weasleys. Sure, some say that having children is not everything, but in reality, the Wizarding World wants women who can breed, something I can never do.”

“Damn the Wizarding World,” his voice was low. “They can all burn in Purgatory or hell for all I care.”

She swallowed.

“You are intrinsically valuable regardless of any bloodline,” his glow intensified. “Never forget that.”

“You only say that because you love me and you cannot have children anyway. You have no stake in any of this.”

“First of all, I have quite the stake in your happiness given that I love you and want nothing more than to see you content with life. Second, you are intrinsically valuable, and should never doubt your worth.”

Doubt clouded her eyes.

“If there is one sin I should spend more time in Purgatory atoning for, it is contributing to your inferiority complex. You deserved to be nurtured, not indoctrinated with bloodline tripe which nobody in the afterlife cares a thing for.”

“I wonder if anything would’ve changed if we’d all known what the afterlife would be like.” She took his hand.

His glow flickered.

“If we had known that muggles and magical beings would have equal power one day and could do all the same things, if we knew nobody cared about bloodlines, if we knew the tasks we would have to undergo to atone for our sins, if we knew what it would take to go to heaven immediately, would wizards have such a superiority complex? Would there have ever been a war?” She mused.

“I think Voldemort would’ve still feared death and done something to prevent it.”

“Would anyone have helped him if they’d known about the afterlife and what was valued?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “All I know is that if I had known I had a chance to find love in life, I would have taken steps to remain alive, not joined a group which endorsed something as meaningless as one’s genetic structure.”

“If you had lived, do you think we would have fallen in love with each other?” Hermione released him.

“I would like to think so, but I doubt I would have done the self-reflection needed to accept your love.”

“I may have been too distraught over everything to seek you out. Who knows if our paths would have crossed?”

“We could have attended a Ministry Ball together.”

“I detest those things, and refuse to go to them. Every year I incinerate the invitation.”

“Perhaps the Trinity had more foresight than I gave them credit for, then.”

“Are you saying they wanted you dead so you could find love?” She asked.

“I don’t think so, but they seemed to have wanted me to experience love, whatever form it may take.”

“They seemed to want that for me as well.”

They stared at each other in a comfortable silence.

“Once we show them how much better the world is with you in it, they’ll have no choice but to allow the program to continue," Hermione began.

“I would hope that to be the case,” his glow lessened. “Though perhaps we should prepare ourselves for it to end.”

“Not today though,” she replied. “Not before the Malfoys arrive.”

“No,” Severus grinned. “Not before I see Draco again.”

Her wand glowed red.

“Let’s see how they turned out.” Hermione put on her oven mitt and took the cookies out of the oven. She inhaled the scent and let out a sigh. “These smell amazing.”

“Did you have any doubts?” He smirked.

“No, but I didn’t think I could bake and honestly,” her expression matched his. “I was still struggling to see my feared potions master baking cookies for his toddler godson. If I cannot envision that, how can I determine how great your cookies truly are?”

“I assure you, I baked for Draco quite often.”

“I suppose so.” She set the cookie sheet on the stove. “I mean, you are the most amazing spirit in the afterlife.”

“That is far from true and you know it.”

“You’re right,” she replied. “My grandmother is dead. She is by far the more amazing spirit.”

“The one who made the,” he twisted his lips. “Interesting recipes.”

“Yep, she is in heaven and baking delicacies which taste more delicious than you could ever dream of.”

“Oh she is,” Severus purred.

“Yes, her strawberry green bean casserole is superior to these cookies.”

“I suppose I will have to teach you how to make strawberry green bean casserole, then, or find a way to put green beans on these cookies.”

“If you ruin these cookies I will never forgive you.”

“Yes, you will.” He kissed her.

She laughed as he embraced her, pressing his essence against hers. Although he stopped short of fusing with her, he could not help but feel euphoric.

Making the frosting could wait another few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	87. Chapter 87

It had been years since he’d smelled the aroma of sugar cookies and lemon frosting.

Draco inhaled the scent as Scorpius held up his red toy Ferrari. He imitated the roar of the engine and whirled it past his godmother's head. Cassie stood behind him, her thumb in her mouth and her pink blanket against her chest. A few times she interjected with her enjoyment of the car, but she was more than happy to allow her brother to bask in his moment of glory. On the sofa, Ginevra laughed at the antics of her children.

Draco watched the scene unfold from his place on the sofa, trying to ignore the memories swelling within him. The aroma of the cookies was too powerful to ignore.

How could she have gotten those cookies from any magazine?

Draco's earliest memory was the scent of those cookies. He was a hyper four year old, showing his godfather a toy cauldron filled with purple-dyed water. A few times, Lucius told him to set the cauldron down so he’d stop splashing the liquid all over the marble floor, but Uncle Severus needed to see this creation as up close as he could.

“I didn’t know you could make purple if you mixed the blue and the red, but it really worked!” Draco thrust the cauldron into Severus’ face. “Thank you for tell me about it!”

“I was more than happy to share my secrets with you,” Severus gave him a half smile, the kind he had wanted the world to believe he was incapable of, and chuckled. “You are already becoming quite the potions master.”

“Really?”

“Indeed you are. If you practice, you could become as good as me one day.”

“I’d love that!” Draco was jumping, splashing purple water onto his hands and the black handles.

The cauldron slipped from his hands, splattering its contents onto his godfather’s new robes. Draco could feel the color drain from his face and his eyes widened.

“Draco,” Lucius hissed. “What did I just get done telling you about not setting that onto the ground?”

Draco gulped. “I’m sorry.”

“Do not fret. There’s a reason I wear black after all,” Severus' voice was nonchalant

Draco glanced up at Severus. There was no hint of deception, though there was a glint of humor in his eyes.

“Now, I baked some cookies which should still be in the kitchen,” he continued. “Would you like some?”

Draco nodded his head vigorously as his mouth watered.

“Follow me then.”

“Draco?”

He jolted from his memory and turned his attention to his wife.

She took his hand. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

She squeezed it.

“I’m fine.” He held hers tighter.

“You’ve barely said two words since coming here,” she whispered.

“It’s probably nothing.”

“What’s probably nothing?”

“Daddy, can we have cookies now?” Scorpius asked.

“Cwookie,’ Cassie repeated as her smile grew.

“We’ll have to ask Aunt Hermione,” he replied.

“Please!” The kids folded their hands and approached her.

“Of course we can have them! I made them just for you.”

“Oh Merlin.” Ginevra glanced at her husband, as if to question whether it was wise to put her children at risk of a burnt treat, or worse, food poisoning.

“I’d like one too.” Draco stood.

“Do you want one, Ginny?” Hermione asked as the children grabbed her hands.

“I would very much love one.” She failed to hide the apprehension in her voice.

“Cone on then.” Scorpius grunted as he and his sister dragged Hermione into the kitchen.

“Cwookies!”

“Okay.” She laughed. “Just give me a moment to reach the table and I’ll let you try them.”

Draco noticed her look back into the sitting room. It was as if she was beckoning someone, but there was nobody in the sitting room.

“What kind are they?” Scorpius asked as she picked up the plate.

“These are sugar cookies with lemon frosting and blue sprinkles on them.”

Ginevra turned to her husband, knowing full well their significance. Draco’s throat constricted.

“I got them from a magazine. They sounded so good I thought you’d like to try them out,” Hermione began.

“Okway.” Cassie took one from Hermione. Then she handed one to her brother.

Hermione strolled over and handed a cookie to Draco. “Here you go.”

“Thank you,” his voice was barely above a whisper.

“I’d like one too.” Ginevra extended her hand. Hermione placed one inside of it.

Draco stared at his cookie, wondering if this was all real. They smelled so familiar, yet how could anyone from a magazine have gotten this recipe?

“These are so good!” Scorpius shouted.

“They are?” Ginevra's surprise was evident.

“Wuv it!” Cassie replied, her mouth still half full of cookies.

Draco took a bite. Tears flooded his eyes as a thousand memories barraged him, each more pleasant than the last.

“Daddy?” The excitement was gone from Cassie’s face.

“Wha’s fong?” Scorpius replied with a mouthful of cookie.

“Nothing.”

Nobody appeared to believe him.

“These are amazing,” Draco whispered. “These cookies are amazing.”

“I’m glad you liked them.” Hermione looked at a point in the distance.

“They taste just like the ones Uncle Severus used to make.” Draco shook.

“Who’s Uncle Severus?” Scorpius asked.

“He’s,” Draco took a shaky breath. “He’s a man who was very close to me, someone I loved very much.”

“Why cwy?” Cassie stepped towards him.

“Because I miss him.” He took another bite of his cookie.

“Why don’t you ask him to come?” Scorpius took another bite of his cookie. “He may miss you too.”

“He can’t come and visit me.”

“Why? Is he mwad?” Cassie asked as she held his leg.

“No.” Draco stroked her back. “He’s dead.”

“What’s that?” Scorpius took the last bite of cookie.

“It means he’s somewhere we can’t see him.”

“Why doesn’t he come back where we can see him?”

“Death doesn’t work that way.” Draco set his cookie down on the counter. “When somebody dies they leave their bodies forever, but their souls take a journey someplace we can’t see.”

“Why would anyone do that?”

“Sometimes people don’t want to do that, but they don’t have a choice but to go on this journey.”

“Are you and Mummy going to die?” Cassie he’d onto his leg tighter.

“Not yet.” Draco gave her an affectionate smile. “We don’t plan on dying for a very long time.”

She relaxed.

“Good, I don’t want you to leave and never come back,” Scorpius chimed in.

“The dead don’t leave us alone,” Draco continued. “They’re in our hearts forever. Even if we can’t see them, they’re with us forever.”

“Oh.”

“Death sounds bad,” Scorpius answered.

“It isn’t good or bad. It’s just the way life works.”

“Am I going to die?” Scorpius gasped.

“Not for a long time.”

“Good.” He exhaled. “I don’t want to leave you and Mummy.”

“No, you aren’t going to leave us, just like we’ll never leave you.”

“I’m never going to die.” Scorpius rushed over to Draco. “I won’t leave you, Mummy, and Aunt Hermione.”

Draco noticed Hermione look at a point in the distance.

“We can’t always control death,” Ginevra rubbed Scorpius’ back, “But we can control the memories we hold dear to us.”

“That’s right,” Draco replied. “We can hold them dear always.”

“Indeed,” Hermione answered.

Draco saw Hermione steal another look in the distance. Then he examined her clothing. She was wearing a black t-shirt and black sweatpants.There was a gleam in her eyes too, once he hadn’t seen in years.

Draco's heart stopped.

Uncle Severus was here, in the house, with them, giving Hermione his recipe. If he had to guess, Severus was in the sitting room, though he couldn't be sure.

Draco’s lips curled up as he bent down to embrace his children. “Do you want to know how I remember Uncle Severus?”

“How?” Cassie asked.

“I say the name Scorpius Severus Malfoy.”

“My name?” Scorpius pointed to himself.

“Yes,” Draco’s voice softened. “Do you remember when I told you that you were named after a great man?”

He nodded.

“I named you after Severus Snape. He meant so much to me that I wanted to remember him always, so I named you after him.”

“Wow,” Scorpius breathed.

“What about me? Uncle Sewerus in me?” Cassie asked.

“Of course,” Draco kissed her on the cheek. “I see him every time you tell a joke or pout.”

She giggled.

“I just hope every day that I make him proud.” Draco stared in the direction Hermione had been looking. “Because I still love him very much.”

“I’m sure he loves you too,” Hermione replied.

“I hope so.” He turned to his children and held them close to his chest. “I love both of you so much.”

“I love you too, Daddy.” Scorpius returned the embrace.

“Wuv you Daddy,” Cassie embraced him.

For several moments, Draco remained in an embrace with his children. Once he released them he cleared his throat. “Would you like to learn about Severus Snape?”

“Sure,” Scorpius answered.

“Yes,” Cassie replied.

“Okay.” Draco grinned. “Here’s a funny story! Now in order to understand it, you must know that Severus Snape never tolerated nonsense.”

“Why?” Cassie asked.

“Some people don’t appreciate rule breakers” Draco shrugged.

“That was Severus alright,” Ginevra added.

“You knew him too?” Scorpius asked.

“Of course,” Ginevra answered. “He was my teacher, and Aunt Hermione’s too.”

They looked at Hermione.

“It’s true,” she replied. “He was my potions professor.”

“Wow,” Cassie whispered.

“Now, when Uncle Severus was upset, he used to scowl," Draco continued. 

“Like this?” Cassie contorted her face.

He laughed. “That’s a good impression of him.”

She laughed along with him.

“Anyway, I was eight and I was showing him a new broom I had stolen from your grandpa. We were in the living room. I asked if he wanted to see me ride on it. He told me, ‘no,’ but I didn’t listen. I got on it and flew right into the fireplace and knocked over your grandmother’s favorite vase.”

“Oh no,” Hermione covered her mouth to suppress her laugh.

“I only had a bump on the head, but I was so scared your grandpa would find out what I’d done. Uncle Severus just looked at me, and asked me not to tell your grandpa how clumsy he was. He repaired that vase as best he could, but there are still some cracks.”

“That’s how that porcelain vase with the blue flowers broke?” Ginevra asked with a gleam in her eyes.

“It sure is.” Draco laughed. “Poor Grandpa didn’t know what to make of it. He was determined to prove I’d broken the vase, but Uncle Severus stuck to his story.”

“I didn’t think Severus was the kind of man who would allow anyone to get away with anything,” Ginevra replied.

“He wasn’t, but he knew we were going to a circus the next day. If he’d admitted what I’d done I would’ve been grounded and not allowed to go. He didn’t think I should be punished for a moment of stupidity.”

“I never would’ve guessed he’d do something like that,” Ginevra turned to her children and raised her finger. “Don’t think Aunt Hermione will give you the same treatment.”

They turned to her. She winked at them. The children snickered.

“Severus was a great man,” Hermione replied.

“He was.” Draco took a deep breath.

“Tell us another story!” Scorpius demanded.

“Yeah, I wanna hear more,” Cassie replied.

“Sure,” Draco replied. “Just let me have another cookie and I can tell you more stories.”

With that, Draco spent the rest of the afternoon keeping Severus’ memory alive, all the while knowing he was very present in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been around much lately! Things got chaotic with my job and volunteer position. I don't know how much I'll post this week, but I am still alive!
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support! You are all so amazing, and make this all worth it!


	88. Chapter 88

It was difficult to believe the two children asleep on the couch had been racing around the sitting room less than a half hour ago. If he didn’t understand children so well, Severus never would’ve believed those two could be anything other than angels.

Cassie had her thumb in her mouth while drool dripped from Scorpius’ mouth. Somehow the children had found a way to sleep next to each other without either of them falling off the couch.

Hermione stood in the doorway beside Draco. They spoke in hushed tones, careful not to disturb the now quiet little ones. A few times she stole a glance at them, her eyes glistening in pride. Severus couldn't help but note she was a natural godmother.

Cassie stretched, but kept her eyes closed. Scorpius rolled over and put an arm over her sister. Hermione shut her mouth, stifling her, “Aw.” Draco looked on and chuckled.

As he watched the children, Severus wondered what it must be like to have a sibling. Perhaps he wouldn’t have been so lonely as a child. Somebody could have comforted him during his parents’ many fights and stood up for him when his father took his anger out on him. Said sibling may have even stood up for Severus against the marauders as well. They may have both been Slytherin. If that was the case, the sibling may have been able to talk him into making different choices.

Conversely, the sibling could have made his life a living hell. They may have done nothing but fought. The sibling could have been sorted into Gryffindor and joined the marauders. If the sibling was a squib, they could have acted like Petunia, exacerbating an already tense situation…

These children would know no such pain though. Draco and Ginevra had obviously taken great care to raise their children to love each other. His parents were incapable of instilling good values on their only son. It would have been impossible with two No, it was better to be an only child, even if his mind could not help but dwell on the fantasy of another sibling.

“I think we need to get going,” Ginevra sat up from the leather chair across the room. “It’s about time they head to bed.”

Scorpius moaned but did not open his eyes.

“Here we go,” Ginevra whispered as she picked up Cassie. The child’s breathing remained slow, her eyes shut.

Severus turned light blue. It had been years since he’d wanted so desperately to be in the vicinity of a child. Still, he could not help but enjoy watching Scorpius and Cassie’s every move. Was there no way for them to stay an hour or two longer?

“Time to get up,” Ginevra gently shook Scorpius’ back.

“Mum,” he whined.

“We need to go.”

Scorpius’ eyes fluttered open. “Can’t we stay longer?”

“No, it’s getting late.”

“But I’m not tired.” Scorpius yawned. “I want to stay with Aunt Hermione.”

Severus smirked. Already Scorpius was proving more agreeable than his father. When it was time to leave Severus’ house, Draco always threw a tantrum regardless of the warnings he received from his parents. He was lucky to have two children who did not share his temperament or his sense of entitlement. No doubt Ginevra had seen to that.

“You can come back to visit me very soon,” Hermione promised. “I’ll bake more cookies too.”

“Can I have one more cookie?” His eyes lit up at the mention of his new favorite treat.

“It’s a little late,” Ginevra replied.

“But I want a snack.”

“Aunt Hermione put some cookies in a bag that you can have tomorrow,” Draco replied.

“Fine.” He sighed before trudging over to Hermione. “Bye Aunt Hermione.”

“Goodbye.” She embraced him.

Severus put a hand on Scorpius’ shoulder. The boy’s eyes widened as he glanced around the room.

Ginevra chuckled. “Do you see something?”

“No.” Scorpius frowned, wishing he could have seen the source of the energy which had coursed through his veins.

“Go ahead and go home with your mum. Hermione and I have one more thing to discuss,” Draco began.

Ginevra cocked her head.

“It’s nothing to worry about,” Draco’s smile was genuine. “There’s just a question I have on a recent issues.”

“I can stay and listen,” Scorpius offered.

“No, it’s too boring for you.” Draco bent down. “You wouldn’t like to talk about it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Taxes.”

Ginevra blinked.

“We’re going to talk about tax codes, tax laws, paying taxes, and all sorts of things like that.”

“Ew,” Scorpius appeared as if he had just eaten a vomit flavored jellybean.

“I would imagine that you would get much more entertainment from reading Tales of Beedle the Bard than listening to us discuss taxes,” Hermione added.

Cassie’s thumb dropped from her mouth.

“Yeah,” Scorpius admitted.

“Let’s say goodbye to Aunt Hermione one more time and go home. I can read you a few chapters if you hurry,” Ginevra offered.

“Fine.” He motioned for Hermione to bend down. “Bye Aunt Hermione.”

“Goodbye.” She blushed as the boy kissed her.

After looking around the room once more, Scorpius walked to his mother. Ginevra took his hand and led him to the fireplace. Without setting down her daughter, she managed to pick up the floor powder and throw it into the fireplace. After she gave their address, she disappeared with the children.

One silent moment passed.

“He’s here isn’t he?" Draco began.

“Who’s here?”

“Uncle Severus.”

Severus turned white.

“Why would you say he was here?” Her face was as white as Severus’ glow.

“After searching for some sign from him for so many years, I wonder why a few months ago I could feel him in your room. It seemed to be an odd place for him to be. Still, I felt him again today," Draco began.

She put her hands behind her back. “You were discussing him. It was only natural to feel him.”

“No, you kept looking back at him.”

“Huh?”

“I saw you stare into space a few times. At first I was confused, but I felt him again. Then I knew,” his voice cracked. “I knew he was here.”

She exhaled.

“He’s still here too, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

His expression was impassive. 

“You need to understand Draco, I wasn’t trying to hide him from you or anyone else…”

He raised his hand. “I don’t need an explanation of when he came and why you kept quiet. Quite frankly, if I was being visited by a deceased person I would keep it to myself as well.”

She relaxed.

“Did he hear everything I said the time I visited a few months ago?” His voice was softer.

“Yes, he was there for all of it.”

“So he knows I love him?”

“He knew that before you said anything, but he did hear you say the words.”

Severus had never seen Draco look so at peace.

“Can you please point to where he is so I can say a few things to him?” The blond asked.

“Of course you can.” Hermione pointed to where Severus stood.

“Okay,” Draco cleared his throat and faced Severus. He appeared much less sure of himself. “It honestly feels weird talking to a bookshelf, but this whole thing is weird.”

“It is,” Severus admitted.

“Still, I’m glad you could meet my children and see Ginevra. They’ve made me happier than I have any right to be.” His took a shaky breath. “It’s all thanks to you.”

Severus drew closer to him.

“I love you. Even when I was a prick I still loved you. I hope your memories of me are mostly happy.”

“They are.”

“He says they are,” Hermione jumped in.

“Good.” A tear trickled down Draco’s cheek. “I love you, and I always think about you. I don’t know how long you plan to stay, but I’ll try to bring my children over as much as I can so you can see that your sacrifices for me weren’t in vain. The two most amazing children in the world are alive because of you, and I will always cherish that.”

“I would love to see them again.”

“He would love to see them again.”

“They would too.” Draco took a shaky breath. “If you could watch over us when you leave for wherever you were meant to be, I would appreciate that as well.”

“I will.” Severus’ glow intensified. “I will be with you as much as possible.”

Hermione relayed his message.

“One more thing.” Draco’s lips twitched upwards. “One of Cassie’s first words was, ‘unerhed.”

Severus burst out laughing.

Hermione grinned. “Poor Ginevra didn’t know what to make of it when she said that.”

“Neither did I but I knew her Uncle Severus would be proud.” Draco met Severus’ eyes. “I knew you would be proud.”

“I am very proud.” Severus brushed his hand against Draco’s. Although it went through, from the expression in Draco’s face it was clear that his presence had been felt.

“Thank you again for the cookies,” Draco turned to her. “Dante, or should I say Uncle Severus, taught you how to cook very well.”

“You’re welcome,” she replied. “And I think he will be around for quite some time.”

“Oh?”

“Severus is in a Purgatory program where he must help the living,” Hermione began. “If he wants to succeed he needs to give me a sense of overall well-being.”

“He’s done that and more.”

“He has,” she whispered.

He gave her a quick hug. “I love you Hermione. Take good care of my godfather.”

“I will.” She returned the embrace.

“As for you.” Draco released Hermione and turned to Severus. “Behave yourself. Hermione deserves a spirit who treats her well, and you deserve a friend as amazing as she is.”

“I will always care for her, regardless of my form,” Severus promised.

“He is going to take good care of me," she promised.

“Good.” Draco took a deep breath. “Thank you again for inviting me over. I’ll see you soon I hope.”

“Only if you bring your children.”

“That, I promise to do.”

With that, Draco made his way to the fireplace and picked up the floo powder. He turned around and gave the room one last look. Then, he called out his address and disappeared.

“He always was too intuitive for his own good,” Severus’s glow intensified.

“He’s been searching for you for seven years. If anyone would know you were near, it would be him,” she answered.

“Indeed.” Severus embraced her. “Thank you for this afternoon.”

“You are more than welcome,” she wrapped her arms around him as best she could. “Thank you for the cookie recipe.”

“I am glad it didn’t die with me.”

“It won’t go unshared. I’ll teach it to Ginny sometime so she can make them herself.”

“Then she’ll teach it to her children, and it will live on.”

“Something like that.”

They stayed near each other for a few moments.

“This is going to sound so awkward, and funny.” Hermione exhaled. “But I can’t take off your robes, or touch you in certain ways, so I have to ask.”

“Ask what?” He whispered.

“Do you want to fuse again?”

“Now?”

She nodded.

He took her hand. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“Then let’s go.” She beckoned him.

Together, they strolled to her room, eager to give themselves fully to the other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	89. Chapter 89

Severus hated the idea of seeing Potter again.

Granted, Potter and Hermione were too close to each other to keep Severus’ visits a secret for the rest of her life. Potter would not cease asking questions, and it was becoming clear that Hermione was torn about keeping such a secret from her best friend. The longer they waited, the more likely she was to blurt it out in an environment where things had the potential to spiral out of control. No, it was better to tell Potter now in the safety of Hermione’s home than to wait until she could no longer hold it in, or worse, Luna took matters into her own hands and told her husband about Severus.

“Luna will smooth things over if they get too out of control.” Hermione pouredpeppermint tea into a black tea cup.

“How certain are you of that?” Severus leaned against the kitchen table.

“That’s the one thing I’m actually certain of.”

“I mean no offense, but Luna has always been a bit,” Severus twisted his lower lip. “Dreamy. She isn’t exactly one to explain things logically.”

“Under most circumstances I would agree, but she can do this. After all, she knows everything about magical creatures, and has known about you this entire time.”

“You told Luna about us?” He raised an eyebrow.

“She actually figured it out herself she I first asked her what I should do about your visits. I never said your name, but she knew.” She poured tea into two other tea cups.

Perhaps Severus hadn’t given Mrs. Potter enough credit. Just another person he'd underestimated...

“That’s why she helped me get ready for you when we had our first time fusing,” She continued.

“I’ll have to remember to thank her once all is said and done,” he muttered.

“You will.” She picked up the silver tray underneath the tea cups. “In the meantime though, we need her as an ally with Harry.”

“Indeed.” The lack of enthusiasm in Severus’ voice was unmistakable.

She frowned.

“Don’t look at me that way. You knew this was going to be difficult for me.”

“I know but,” she took a deep breath. “Can you at least try to create a loving presence for Harry?”

“I am tolerating him. Is that not enough.”

“Normally I’d say yes,” she strolled into the living room. “But he needs to feel you the way Draco felt you.”

“I have no idea how Draco sensed me though.” Severus floated behind her.

She set the tray onto the coffee table.

“I was ecstatic to see him again, and I was filled with love for him. Yet,” Severus’ glow dimmed. “I do not know how he sensed me.”

“Perhaps if you try to at least have some affection for Harry he’ll believe you’re here.”

“That is going to be difficult, and you know it.”

“I know.” She sighed and shook her head.

“But for you,” he place a hand on her shoulder. “I will try anything for you, even if it means trying to feel affection for Potter.”

“Thank you.” A smile crept across his face.

“Do not thank me yet. You owe me for being kind to Potter,” Severus warned with a gleam in his eye.

“Owe you what?”

“I don’t know.” His glow brightened. “I will think of some form of repayment eventually.”

“I suppose you do have all of eternity to think of some way I could repay you.” Her eyes danced in mischief.

“That is a long time to think of something. Surely I can think of something before the end of time.”

“I hope you think of it sooner rather than later. Forever is a long time to keep me in suspense.”

“Perhaps that is how I will force you to repay me,” he teased. “I will watch you squirm so much that you’ll wish I’d just tell you what I have planned.”

“You could go to hell for devising a plan so diabolical.” She purred.

“As long as you were with me, I’d be quite at peace with my fate.”

“You deserve heaven though.”

“I only care about heaven if you are there with me.”

“Then I’ll help you get there. I would prefer not to burn in flames or freeze in ice.” She pressed herself against him.

“I’ll be good then," He stroked her hair.

“That shouldn’t be hard, given that you’re always good.” She touched his cheek.

“Hermione,” he groaned as his glow intensified. “Don’t tempt me to fuse with you right before they come.”

“If we did would they see you as they came in?” Her lips touched his glow. “If so that might make explaining your presence a bit easier.”

“Knowing my luck they would not see me. Instead they would see you writhing around and believe you had ingested one too many hallucinogenic potions. It would not help that you would more than likely be in a state of undress.”

“Ooh,” she blushed and backed away. “Looking like a madwoman may defeat our purposes.”

“Sadly it would.” Severus’ lips curled up. “Although if you are still in the mood after he leaves I am amenable to staying a few more hours and slipping out of my robe.”

“Sounds like a plan.” She touched his hand.

The fireplace erupted.

“Right on cue,” the spirit grumbled.

“Here goes nothing.” She exhaled before forcing herself to smile. Then she strolled over to the fireplace.

As she greeted the Potters, Severus couldn’t help but notice she was dressed in black pants and a black shirt. He wondered if she had grown a fondness for the color on her own, or if fusing with him was causing her to take on some of his traits. If it was the latter, he wondered if he would begin to mimic her. So far he felt as if he was still himself. From what he could tell he appeared the same. He would need to speak with Dismas if his hair became bushy though.

A soft cry interrupted his thoughts.

He returned his attention to the scene before him. Luna held a blue baby carrier in her right hand. Underneath a pile of yellow blankets was a baby’s face.

Severus approached the child. He appeared to be identical to his father, save the dreamy look in his silvery blue eyes. Interesting that he didn’t inherit Lily’s eyes. Perhaps it was the fate of the Potter’s to inherit their mother’s eyes…

The child grew quiet and stared at Severus. His eyes darted about, as if trying to determine the source of the energy change in the room. He whined before turning to his mother.

“Do you sense something?” Luna glanced down at her son.

The child hiccuped before wiggling his arms free of the blankets. He extended his hands towards Severus. Still seeing nothing, he began flailing his limbs about, as if he was pleading for Severus to touch him, or give some indication of his existence.

The spirit’s glow brightened as he gave him a genuine grin. Regardless of his feelings towards Potter, he couldn’t hate this child. He was so innocent, and so sensitive. Unlike James he would grow to be a fine young man, and unlike Potter he would be perceptive.

“What do you see?” Potter cooed at his son.

Luna locked eyes with Hermione.

“I think we need to sit down,” Hermione began.

Severus gave the child a small wave as Luna took his to the couch. The further he was from Severus, the redder his face became. Severus couldn’t help but chuckle. It had been decades since a child had been this eager to see him.

Potter sat beside Luna before looking at both the women. “Is there some kind of secret I should know?”

“Secret?” Luna took James from the carrier and began to pat his back.

“It’s just you two are looking at each other like there’s some kind of conspiracy. What’s going on?”

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Hermione began.

Luna relaxed. She would not need to pressure Hermione to tell her secret.

“I needed to talk to you about my lover.”

“Oh?” Harry’s eyes sparked in interest. “Have you finally convinced him to meet me?”

“I have.”

Severus’ glow dimmed.

“The problem is he’s a bit, uh, invisible.”

“Invisible?” Harry picked up his tea cup.

“Yes,” Hermione took a sip of tea.

“Did he cast a spell upon himself or something?” He asked. “If so I can help make him visible, or find someone who can.”

“No, he isn’t under a spell,” Someone who had not been Hermione’s lover would not have noticed her shaking. Severus was not such a person. He drew closer to her. “He’s dead.”

“Dead?” Harry looked at her as if she was speaking Yoruba.

“Yes,” She set her tea cup down. “It’s a very long story, but the gist of it is this individual died during the war and went to Purgatory.”

“Where’s that?”

“It means he’s a saved soul but can’t get into heaven yet,” Luna offered.

James settled himself, though from his expression it was clear he hadn’t quite given up on finding the strange presence.

“Okay,” Harry drawled. “So why is he on earth?”

“He needs to accomplish a mission before he can go to heaven.”

Severus' glow flickered.

“His mission was to help me,” her voice was stronger.

“How?”

“He helped me find the cure for my father, and then he taught me what a healthy relationship is. His goal was to help me find eudaimonia, and he’s done that and more.”

“What’s eudaemonia?”

“It’s complicated, but in short, it’s an overall sense of well-being.”

“That’s great I suppose,” Harry drawled. “Who is this lucky spirit?”

“Severus Snape.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been around much. Life is still chaotic. Still, I have not forgotten this story, and hope to update more regularly soon.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me! It is very deeply appreciated!


	90. Chapter 90

“Severus Snape?”

The spirit examined Harry. His face was drained of color, his pupils so wide there was little emerald in his eyes. A few times his lips parted, but closed. At least he was attempting to be careful before he spoke. Perhaps he was capable of tact.

“Harry?” Luna turned to her husband.

“Severus Snape?” He was regaining his color.

Hermione nodded.

“By Severus Snape,” He cleared his throat. “Do you mean our former potions professor?”

“Yes,” Hermione’s voice was confident.

“Severus Snape, the person who called you a bushy haired know-it-all, the person who refused to give you any indication of whether or not he was pleased with your academic work, the person we saw die at the Shrieking Shack. Is this the Severus Snape you’re referring to?”

“Yes.” Her smile remained in place.

Severus’ glow lessened. Things were not going as well as Hermione thought they were.

“The same Severus Snape who was in love with my mother and spent all his adult life atoning for his sins against her. You mean to tell me he is in love with you?”

Severus’ glow flickered as he scowled. There was no reason to bring up Lily, as if she could ever compare to Hermione.

“Yes, I’m in love with him,” she paused for emphasis. “And he’s in love with me.”

The way Harry furrowed his eyebrows was not encouraging.

“How?” Harry drawled.

“I don’t know, but it happened,” Hermione answered.

Harry blinked.

“I know this all sounds impossible, sometimes I can’t believe it myself,” Hermione’s eyes glistened. “Still, he’s been seeing me for the last four months. In that time we’ve started a relationship and fallen in love.”

“No,” he shook his head as his expression softened. "You felt guilty about selling a book full of lies about him, and a few weeks later found out that Ron was engaged. That’s what’s brought all this on.”

Hermione tilted her head.

“You were upset about your father falling ill, so you began to dabble into potions. When you found the cure you felt an affinity with Snape.”

“Severus.”

“Excuse me, Severus,” he replied. “It must have been amazing to feel like you finally impressed him. It was as if he was alive, even though we’d seen him die.”

Severus began to glow red. Potter better not be going where he thought he was going with this…

“I can’t blame you for any of this. If anything, I blame myself for not understanding how much pain you were in.”

“What are you trying to say?” Hermione drawled.

“You need to understand.” Harry took a deep breath. “I only say this as someone who cares about you.”

“What are you trying to say to me?”

“I think.” Harry sighed. “I think you need to speak with a professional about this.”

Severus’ glow was orange.

“Excuse me?”

“I know the names of some professionals who could help you sort out some of these feelings. They will keep your information confidential…”

“You want me to see a therapist?”

James whined at the volume of Hermione’s voice. 

“Are you calling me crazy?” Hermione exclaimed.

“No.” Harry held up his hands. “I’m saying that things have been stressful, and you may have created a fantasy to help cope with it. I couldn’t blame you. It’s a common defense mechanism. It’s one that cannot last though, and you’ll need help to resolve.”

“In other words, I am mad!”

Harry glanced at Luna for support.

“Perhaps you should feel the presences in the room,” Luna suggested with a serene smile.

“I feel Severus just fine,” Hermione growled.

“I know you do.” Luna winked.

“What presences?” Harry asked.

“Just feel the presences." Luna suggested. "More may be going on here than you realize.”

“Are you encouraging this?” Harry snapped.

“I’m only asking you to search your heart,” his wife answered. “You may find that Professor Snape is closer than you think.”

“You’ve gone mental too,” Harry muttered.

“No, I’m being supportive.”

“You’re supporting an unhealthy delusion.”

“I am not delusional!”

James scanned the room for the presence he had felt earlier. Perhaps that energy could calm the adults.

“I am quite sane! I know Severus is in this room. I,” her eyes lit up. “I can prove it.”

Severus quirked an eyebrow.

“Severus,” she turned to him. “I want you to pick up a pillow.”

He grinned. Such a clever girl.

“Hermione, he’s not going to…”

Severus picked up the purple pillow beside Harry. For good measure, he struck Harry with it.

“Now do you believe her?” Luna asked.

“I believe her magic is misfiring,” he grumbled.

“What?” Hermione shouted.

James burst out crying.

“It’s a common thing. Sometimes when a witch is under a certain belief her magic will conform to it, just to make things more real and protect her psyche," Harry continued.

“I am not crazy! I’m seeing Severus Snape! I’m in love with him!”

“The only woman he’ll ever love is my mother!”

“So you think I could never compare to her?”

“I’m saying that’s the only woman he’ll ever love!”

“He changed his mind.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Because Lily threw him away like he was nothing," Hermione argued. "She spent time in Purgatory for her wrath against him…”

“Where is Purgatory?”

“It’s between heaven and hell. If you are saved but not ready for heaven, you go to Purgatory.”

“You’re telling me my mother did not go straight to heaven?”

Hermione’s eyes said it all.

“How dare you?” Harry stood and pointed at her. “How dare you insult my mother, as if you knew anything about her!”

“I know more about her than you think,” Hermione warned.

“You’re only saying this to hurt me! You know how amazing my mother is, but you’re too caught up in all this to admit the truth!”

“I am telling you the truth! She wasn’t perfect! She was wrathful and was punished in the afterlife for it with a decade of Purgatory. Even Severus admits as much.”

“No, you need her to be imperfect so you can live in your crazy fantasy land!” Harry was panting.

“I. Am. Not. Crazy.” Hermione glowered at him and gritted her teeth.

Not even during the longest of Death Eater meetings had the silence been so intense. Severus felt as if he could not breathe, even if there was no chance of him ever taking another breath.

“Let’s all calm down,” Luna settled her baby.

“You heard her Luna,” Harry choked as his eyes became misty. “She insulted my mother.”

“No, she told you the truth.”

“What truth?”

“That perhaps Severus saw Lily as a person, and not an angel.”

“She’s lying,” he hissed. “My mother was an amazing woman who would go straight to heaven, not be sentenced to Purgatory.”

“She told you a hard truth because you’re her friend,” Luna’s voice was gentle. “Lily wasn’t perfect. Severus needed to learn that, and now so do you.”

“Who’s side are you on?” Harry’s voice was dripping with venom, but he did not raise it.

“This isn’t about sides,” Luna replied, her expression just as serene as when she'd first sat down. “This is about admitting truth.”

“What truth?”

“Perhaps you are afraid Hermione is not crazy.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” Her expression was wistful. “You are afraid of what Severus being on earth and being in love with someone else means.”

“What would that mean to me?”

“It would mean you need closure.”

Severus twisted his lower lip. What closure could Potter need? Didn’t he already have Severus figured out?

“Why are you doing this?” Harry choked. “Why are you feeding into her delusions?”

“Because you need to heal.” Luna rubbed Harry’s back. “Regardless of whether or not Severus Snape is here, you need to heal from his death.”

“Hermione needs help. She’s carrying on a relationship with a figment of her imagination.”

“I’m still here,” Hermione snapped. “I can answer for myself.”

“I’m sorry.” A tear trickled down his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t see the signs sooner. I’m sorry you’ve been suffering for so long.”

“I’m not suffering!”

“No, you’ve had a breakdown, and I need to help you.”

“He’s real! Severus Snape is real and in this room!”

Harry turned to Luna.

“You know the truth,” she answered.

“I need to go.”

With a POP Harry was gone.

Silence reigned the room.

“He probably hates you now.” Hermione’s throat constricted.

“No, he’s just scared.” Luna stood. “But he’ll admit the truth to himself soon enough. Then perhaps we can all heal.”

“I don’t think he will.” Hermione squeaked.

“You know Harry, he loves you.” Luna adjusted James in her arms. “And he loves Severus Snape. Once he dispels his fears, he’ll be able to make peace with what’s happening.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence.”

With one arm, Luna embraced her friend. Then she whispered in her ear, “Try not to let Severus become too wrathful. It must’ve been hard to see what happened, but he needs to make peace with Harry too.”

With that, Luna released Hermione. Then she went to the fireplace and flooed away.

Another endless moment passed.

“I apologize,” Severus was blue. “I did not mean to cause this much trouble.”

“No, you didn’t cause any trouble.” Hermione outstretched her arms. “I just need you close to me.”

Slowly and with much care, Severus enveloped her in his arms, until they fused into one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	91. Chapter 91

Luna was going to hate him when she found out about this. Under most circumstances, that would make him rethink his course of action. The stakes were too high to second guess himself though. Even if Luna refused to see the importance of what he was about to do, he saw the consequences of inaction quite clearly.

Harry glanced at the door to his office. He couldn’t see anyone through the streaky tinted glass. Not taking any chances, he warded his office door shut. Then he cast a muffliato.

He picked up the floor powder, only to pause in front of the iron fireplace.

If he did this, Hermione may never forgive him. Part of him couldn’t blame her. As awful as her delusions were, she was happier than he’d ever seen her. She was convinced that someone was in love with her for who she was. Could he really take that away from her, especially after the way Ron had destroyed her?

As the soot slid through his fingers onto the brick hearth, he imagined his best friend locked in her living room, spending hours talking to herself, laughing at her own jokes.

Was this the worst thing? If she was happy, why should he interfere? She wasn’t harming anyone, nor was she neglecting to care for herself? Could he be overreacting because she brought up his mother?

The image of Hermione strolling down Diagon Ally speaking into thin air flashed in his mind. As she passed by, people stopped in their tracks to look at the woman arguing with herself. Even if she was still well dressed, people would begin to talk, smirk, snicker then openly mock her. It was only a matter of time before she became known as the crazy person who spoke to her old, surly professor and became more ostracized than she already was.

Harry shook his head. Hermione had faced enough disgrace when Ron abandoned her. She didn’t deserve to be jeered at anymore, especially if her behavior was due to an illness.

Plus, there was no telling how far this would go. Mental illness affects all areas of one’s life. Would she refuse to see anyone in the evening because she would rather be with Severus? Was she planning on marrying this figment of her imagination and start introducing him to others? What happened when she realized this was all a delusion and her world came crashing down upon her?

More disturbing: what if she was telling the truth?

His stomach dropped at the thought. If she wasn’t crazy, then he had been in the same room as Professor Snape. He had missed his chance to tell Severus how grateful he was for his sacrifices, to ask about his parents, to inquire about the afterlife. She may have been right about his mother too…

“No,” he whispered. “I can’t feed into this.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. Even if Luna said nothing when she returned home last night, he knew she still believed Hermione. He loved his wife, but sometimes she was too quick to believe in the abnormal. No, he’d been to the afterlife. There was no Purgatory, and his mother had gone straight to heaven. He was convinced of that fact.

What if he was wrong though?

He threw the floor powder in before he could entertain that horrendous thought.

“Dr. Lum’s office please.”

The fire crackled over Harry’s now jumbled thoughts.

After a few moments, a face appeared amidst the flames. “Hello?”

“Hello Dr. Lum.”

“Hello Harry,” The ashen woman’s face grinned. “Long time no see.”

“Indeed,” he relaxed.

“What can I do for you?”

“I need to speak with you about a potential client.”

“Okay,” She drawled. “What is going on with this suspect?”

“Oh no.” He shook his head. “I’m not here about a suspect, but a friend.”

“What’s wrong with them?” Her eyes gleamed in interest.

“Well, she’s been going through a difficult time lately, much more difficult than I realized.”

“Oh dear,” her voice was soft. “Is your friend at risk of hurting herself?”

“I don’t think so. She seemed happy when I last saw her.” He swallowed. “Almost too happy.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“She’s been seeing Professor Snape every evening for at least the last four months.”

“Professor Snape.” Her eyes grew.

“Yes, my friend thinks Professor Snape is in her house and speaking with her.”

“Well,” Dr. Lum hummed. “Stranger things have occurred.”

“Not like this.”

“Are you sure she’s not just practicing divination and perfecting her craft? She may have just found a way to speak with him and was alluding to that.”

“The one class my friend dropped was divination because she thought it was useless. There is no way she was practicing it when she saw him.”

“I see,” She moistened her lips.

“It doesn’t stop at seeing him. This friend is carrying on a relationship with him.”

“Excuse me?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, she believes they are in a romantic relationship and she is now the love of his life.”

“How did she reach this conclusion especially given his relationship with, well, you know?”

“According to my friend, she and Professor Snape been speaking with each other for months. He’s been telling her they he loves her, and she says she has secret information about my mother.”

“Like what?”

“Like she went to Purgatory instead of straight to heaven. When I tried to correct her,” Harry’s throat constricted. “Let’s just say she did not appreciate being told that Professor Snape may love someone other than her.”

She whistled.

“It was difficult,” his eyes misted. “But it became clear that she’s suffering. She’s in so much pain, but there’s nothing I can do.”

“That sounds very upsetting,” Dr. Lum answered. “I’m sorry you have to endure that.”

“It isn’t half as bad as for me as it must be for her.”

“Yes, but hearing her speak about your mother in such a disparaging way must have been difficult.”

“I’ve forgiven her. She didn’t mean to hurt me. She’s just hurt and needs professional help.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Dr. Lum sighed. “She has to want help though before I can work with her.”

“When she realizes how much pain this is causing everyone she’ll accept your services.”

“Let’s hope so.” Dr. Lum’s face disappeared for a moment before returning. “Now, what is your friend’s name?”

“Hermione,” Harry choked. “Hermione Granger.”

Her eyes were huge.

“Yes, that Hermione Granger,” He took a deep breath. “I never thought I’d ask you for help with her, but she needs it.”

“I didn’t realize she was in that much pain.”

“I didn’t either, but after _Severus Snape: Saint or Scoundrel_ came out she seemed to retreat into a fantasy world.”

“Ron’s engagement couldn’t have helped.”

“No, it didn’t.”

From the ashes, he could see the outline of a clipboard and quill. “So, I have a free spot open on Friday at noon. Do you think you could convince her to come in then?”

“I can get her to come, though she may be kicking and screaming,” he warned.

“From everything you’ve described about her, I can only imagine,” Dr. Lum replied. “Now, I’ll need some patient information, if you can provide it.”

“Sure.” Harry replied, unaware of the device upon the ground.

***

Outside, Cormac sneered as he pulled the extendable ear closer to him. At first, he had wanted to discover the name of Hermione’s boyfriend. If she was crazy though then she was far less tempting. There was no reason to tie himself to a nutcase, especially one who would choose a surly professor over him.

It didn’t change her rejection of him though. He had to admit it stung to lose to a figment of her imagination. If she wanted to live in crazy land that was fine, but not if she hurt him in the process!

Hermione Granger would pay for that. He’d make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! I appreciate it all!


	92. Chapter 92

Severus didn’t trust Harry.

The lunch invitation was too sudden. First, Harry believed his best friend was crazy, and now he wanted to have a casual chat with her? It didn’t take being a spy to know something wasn’t right. The only question was what Harry hoped to accomplish.

“I don’t know what Harry would do other than have a talk with me about…” She set her plate of spaghetti onto the table. “Well, you know.”

“Why over lunch though?” Severus took his place across from her. “Wouldn’t this be a conversation best saved for an evening so you two aren’t pressed for time?”

“It does seem that this should take longer than an hour.”

“It could easily take all night. Why is Harry rushing things?”

“He may just want to let everything go.”

“Do you truly believe that?”

Her eyes betrayed her doubt.

“Please, don’t let yourself be set up for something."

“I’m not setting myself up,” she took her seat. “There may be a logical reason for speaking over lunch. Maybe he thinks talking in the evening will drag on for too long. Maybe he wants to get past everything, and keeping it light is the only way he knows how.”

“Even you must admit that does not sound right.”

“It doesn’t,” she twirled her spaghetti around her fork. “Still, I can’t think of any nefarious plan he may have.”

“I never said he was up to a nefarious plan.” He tapped his finger onto the table. “Even at his worst, Potter is incapable of being nefarious.”

“You know.” She gave him a small grin. “That may be one of the nicest things you’ve ever said about him.”

“I have never attempted to be cruel, only honest about him.”

“You honestly find a way to hold a grudge against him.”

“If he hadn’t splattered my story all over the papers…”

“I know.” She took a bite.

“That being said,” he sat up straighter. “He seems to be a good enough friend that he would mean you no harm. Whatever he has planned, he must think it is in your best interests”

She swallowed.

“I only hope this bump in the road can be overcome, if only to restore your sense of well being.” He turned blue. “I would never want you to sacrifice the good things in your life to be with me.”

“I’m not sacrificing any of the good things in my life” She took a sip of wine. “I’m finally living my best life.”

“I would hope so.”

She kept her eyes on him. His mind was going a mile a minute. Something was tugging at him. If she was patient he would reveal all soon enough.

“Does it not strike you as odd that you did not start living until a dead man came into your life?” Severus’ voice was soft.

“First of all, you aren’t some dead man.”

“True, I am your former professor.”

“Yes,” her lips twitched upwards. “And you are also the man I love.”

“Just as you are the woman I love.”

She took another sip of wine.

“Still, I cannot help but wonder if we would have found each other had the Trinity not thrown us together,” he continued. “Surely you would not have been lusting after a former professor if we were not thrown together.”

“I think the Trinity would have found a way for us to find each other.”

“How?”

“Well, I did attend a prestigious university, one which hosted a series of conferences. Surely you would have been to one of them.”

“I would have tried to go to as many conference as possible, if only to see which university professorships were available.”

“I would have attended one of your talks, struck up a conversation…”

“I would have called you an insufferable know-it-all….”

“And I would have laughed you off.”

“You would have had the audacity to laugh in my face?” He raised his eyebrow.

“Well, laugh may be a strong word.” She scratched the table. “But I would have been more interested in the academic conversation than hurt at your jabs.”

“You always were determined to accomplish whatever you’d set your mind to.”

“I am quite determined.” The playfulness returned to her eyes. “I would have barraged you with questions, and you would have answered all of them, if only to remind everyone of how intelligent you were.”

“I would have secretly reveled in the attention though.” His glow brightened.

“I would have picked up on it, which is why we would have talked for hours.”

“Would it have been that easy to persuade you to love me?”

“Once you started speaking to me in that tone of voice you always use with me, I would have forgotten that any other man existed.”

“And after basking in your brilliance, I would have forgotten that any other woman existed.”

“And hopefully,” she sighed. “It would have been that simple.”

“Of course it wouldn’t have been,” his glow was yellow. “We are too complicated for anything to be simple.”

“Yet it wouldn’t have been more complex than this.”

“That goes without saying.”

“Still,” her lips curled upwards. “I love you, and I’m convinced in any timeline I would love you just as ardently. That is not complicated to me.”

“No, that is not complicated for me either.” Severus was pink.

They basked in the comfort of each other.

Perhaps this reality was anything but simple, but they had each other. In the end, that was worth everything.

***

Of course the one time he needed Rita Skeeter was the week of her vacation!

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it.” Betty Braithwaite tossed the file across her desk back into Cormac’s arms.

“Why not?” Cormac hissed and leaned closer to her. “I’m giving you the story of a lifetime. Hermione Granger is insane! Isn’t that worth reporting?”

“Honestly,” she replied. “No.”

Cormac’s eyes grew.

“Seeking much needed mental help is not worthy of the news.” Betty folded her hands onto the oaken desk and deepened her frown. “At least not news I would like to report.”

“She’s a member of the Golden Trio! Anything she does is worthy of news.”

“Does that mean if she poops I have to put it on the front page?” Betty smirked.

Cormac scowled.

“Let me explain a few things to you. My niece’s name is Beatrice. She works at a place called _Paradisio Books._ ” Betty leaned in closer. “I am all too aware of your obsession with Hermione.”

Cormac’s heart stopped.

“I have no idea why you couldn’t take a hint earlier, but you have now, which is best for everyone.” She continued. “That being said, I won’t put the integrity of the paper in jeopardy because you’re a scorned lover.”

“She’s crazy though!”

“Then you should be grateful you got out of the situation and begin to pursue someone else.”

“I still think this is amazing news you’re passing up.” He sat up straighter. “It isn’t the wisest career choice to let such a story slip on by.”

“I care far more about not helping a sexual harasser than I do about my career.”

“You’ll care when I get you fired!”

“Mr. McLaggen, is that a threat?” She gave him the most innocent expression she could muster.

“I am stating facts,” he spat. “I could get you fired right here and now.”

“And I could interview my niece and expose your abhorrent behavior.”

“You’d lose your job!”

“If you’re going to fire me anyway, why should I care?”

Cormac pursed his lips.

“If I were you, I would find someone who actually cares about you and pursue her. Put Hermione out of your mind and move on.”

“She’s insane and deserves to be exposed for it.”

“Find someone else to expose her. I’ll have no part in it.”

Cormac ground his teeth.

“I’m not helping you. Goodbye.”

“You’ll pay for this!” Cormac shot up. “I’ll make sure you pay for this!”

“How?” She drawled. “All I did was refuse to cover a story because other than your word, I had nothing to go on. How is that a crime?”

He crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Betty rose. “I have real stories to cover.”

“I’ll leave you to them then.” Cormac growled.

Betty strolled to the door and opened it. “If you don’t mind, I would prefer you not stay in my office while I’m gone.”

With a snarl, Cormac stomped out of the room.

Betty shut the door behind him and exhaled.

At first, she hadn’t known whether or not to believe Beatrice about Cormac. There were so many women who hung on his every word. Why want the one woman who didn’t want him? Why risk his career for a woman who didn’t love him? After seeing him in action though, her next course of action was becoming clearer.

It was time to put together that expose into Ministry corruption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	93. Chapter 93

“I think you’re being too suspicious.”

“No, I am not,” Severus scowled as his glow turned red. “Potter is up to something, and I need to know what it is.”

“It sounds like he’s reconciling with a friend he yelled at.” Sirius sat up straighter on the couch.

“He believed her story within the span of a few short days?” Severus paced from one end of the couch to another.

“Believe it or not, some people rethink their positions and admit when they’re wrong.”

“I have yet to see it.”

“Of course you haven’t,” Sirius muttered.

“Even if he did rethink his position, it’s doubtful he’s forgiven her. Surely he still holds a grudge.”

“Not everyone holds a grudge when they’re angry, and he may not be angry at all.”

“I don’t believe for a moment Potter is holding a grudge or is infuriated.” Severus stopped. “But he is up to something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Severus scratched his chin. “But I intend for you to find out.”

“Excuse me?”

“You are going to find out what he’s up to for me.”

Sirius continued to stare at him.

“You are meant to spy on Hermione, thereby relaying information to me. This could be the one time you prove useful, only this time I want you to spy on Potter.”

“First of all, I’ve proven myself useful more than one time.” Sirius sat up straighter. “Second of all, I’m not going to spy on my godson in order to dispel your paranoid fantasies.”

“These aren’t paranoid fantasies. Potter is up to something and we need to know what it is.”

“No, you need to accept Harry’s role in Hermione’s life.”

“I do. They are friends. There, I’ve accepted it.”

“You’ve accepted the facts, but you don’t want to believe them," Sirius argued.

“He is the one disbelieving facts. He refuses to entertain the idea that I am with him in the room.”

“Because you would do everything in your power to stay hidden.”

“How can I stay hidden if he cannot see me?” Severus looked up Sirius as if he was a first year confusing a lily with a petunia.

“I don’t know how it works, but it seems under the right circumstances people can sense us when we’re near.”

“How?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius admitted. “But it seems that if we want to make our presence known, we can.”

“I whacked him with a pillow. That should’ve been enough.”

“Did you try to send any affection his way, or did you spend the entire visit counting the minutes until he left?”

“I will admit that I was rather eager to resume what Hermione and I had been doing before he entered.”

“In other words, you closed yourself off to him.”

“In a matter of speaking, I suppose so.”

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and frowned.

“Do not look at me like that. My issues with Potter are well known…”

“Are you ever going to forgive him for caring about you?”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“Are you ever going to forgive him for wanting what was best for you? Are you ever going to forgive him for trying to give you the credit you were due? Hell, are you going to forgive him for existing?”

“How can I forgive him for splattering all my life all over the Wizarding World?”

“You could try saying, 'thank you for defending me.'” Sirius suggested.

"I didn't want him to defend me."

"Well he did, because he cares about you." 

"How does caring about me equate to splashing my personal information all over the Wizarding World?"

"It means he's defending you."

“You don’t know what it’s like to have your most personal memories made public for all to read.”

“No, but I know what it’s like to watch your life ad nauseam in a room even barer than this one.”

Severus shut his mouth.

“What is your problem anyway? I mean look at us.” Sirius raised his hands. “We’re dead. After death we had all of our triumphs, tribulation, mistakes, and heroic deeds laid bare before us during a grueling trail. Everyone already knows who we are. Why do you care about what some mortal thinks?”

“Because I never intended to become a hero!” Severus snapped.

“Then why did you give him the memories?”

“So he would win the war.”

“In other words, you wanted to be a hero?”

“No, I wanted peace!”

Sirius folded his hands.

“I just wanted to rest in peace without any fan adoration or smear campaigns. I just wanted to fade into obscurity so I could spend my afterlife alone.”

“You must hate Hermione then.”

“Excuse me?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well you wanted to be alone and sulk, but now you’re with Hermione and happy. You must hate her for the change in perspective.”

“Of course I don’t hate her.” Severus’ voice was tender. “I could never hate the woman I love beyond all reason.”

“Which is exactly why you should be thanking Harry.” Sirius stood.

Severus kept his gaze on him.

“If Harry hadn’t shown Hermione the memories she may never have given you a chance since she wouldn’t have known who you really were. He helped you win her love just by letting her know what you’d truly done. Shouldn’t he get some credit for that?”

Severus bowed his head.

“I know you’re scared for Hermione, and I’ll admit it’s odd that Harry seems to have forgotten that he accused her of being insane so quickly,” Sirius continued. “Still, you have to make your peace with Harry.”

“If I do, does that mean I will go to heaven and leave Hermione?” Severus’ voice was quieter.

“I don’t know.”

Severus’ expression hardened, as if he was willing to hold the grudge for eternity if it meant he could be with his love.

“But if you continue to be spiteful they could consider the mission to be a failure and end the program. You may very well still be in Purgatory when Hermione walks through the pearly gates. Are you going to delay your reunion because you were too busy being bitter towards Potter?”

Severus’ glow turned blue.

“Do you want her to wait for you because you couldn’t stop being bitter?”

“I don’t want to wait for her at all,” Severus argued. “I want to spend every moment of my existence with her.”

“I know,” Sirius replied. “Which is why we must be careful in this mission. If it fails then you could very well be separated from Hermione much longer than if you’d succeeded.”

“Isn’t there any way I could be with her without complications?” His voice cracked.

“I don’t know.” Sirius’ glow lessened.

“This is too complicated.” Severus buried his face in his hands.

Sirius nodded.

“All I want is to be happy and find peace. Everyone else seems to find some sort of peace and joy, but it has eluded me until now. Why can I not have uncomplicated joy?” Severus’ glow was a dark blue.

“Because you and Hermione are complicated people who never do anything simply.”

Severus’ eyes hardened.

“Still, if this place runs on love, if the law of love governs everything, then somehow things will work out.”

“For who?” Severus snapped. “You? Dismas? Metatron? Who?”

“Everyone,” Sirius answered.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

Severus would have huffed if he could.

“But I do know that holding a grudge could incur more Purgatory time, which is the last thing you want,” Sirius answered.

“I suppose the point of the program was to release anger, not cling to it.” Severus’ glow became yellow.

“Exactly.”

Severus kept his eyes cast downwards.

“I promise that I’ll watch over Hermione and let you know whatever happens to her,” Sirius continued. “But you need to help yourself by forgiving Harry and letting Hermione reconcile with him.”

“I will try…”

“No, you’ll either do it, or you may very well lose her!”

Severus glared at Sirius. If he took that tone with him again…

“Part of loving Hermione is accepting Harry,” Sirius was unaffected by his companion’s expression. “Loving her means truly accepting and not merely tolerating him.”

Severus’ glow was yellow.

“If you want to be with Hermione when she crosses from death to life, you need to try and make it to heaven, not delay things until the Trinity’s patience runs out.”

“I thought they were supposed to have infinite patience.”

“If Metatron is to be believed, it is much more limited than advertised.”

Severus’ glow dimmed.

“You’ll be with her.” Sirius put his hand on the other spirit’s shoulder. “I don’t know how, but I know you’ll be together somehow.”

“I pray you are correct,” Severus whispered.

“Despite what you may think, I am capable of being right every once in awhile.” Sirius gave him a triumphant smirk.

Severus cracked a smile.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect Hermione. If I don’t, I know I’ll never hear the end of it from you. Given how little I care for your voice…”

Severus chuckled.

“Hermione will be fine.” Sirius squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll see to it.”

“I hope so anyway.” Severus did not know if he was answering Sirius, saying a prayer, or a combination of both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been around much this week. My cat became ill over the weekend and died yesterday. I've been so absorbed with that and my job I haven't had time to post. Work is picking up as well, so no promises on posting tomorrow. I am alive though, so here's another chapter!
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	94. Chapter 94

“Are you certain I cannot go down and monitor Hermione’s progress?” Severus rapped his finger on the armrest of the couch.

“I am certain she can handle lunch with her best friend without you,” Dismas sat next to him.

“Under most circumstances I would agree, but after the fight Potter and her had I think she needs moral support.”

“You are more than free to give her moral support this evening.”

“She needs me beside her, if only to monitor the situation."

“I’m sorry,” Dismas’ glow was bright. “But it’s Sirius’ job to monitor situations, not yours.”

“I know, and under most circumstances he is a decent enough spy…”

“Did you just admit he was decent?” Dismas gave him a sly grin.

“I suppose I did,” Severus’ frown deepened.

“I never thought I’d hear you give Sirius credit for anything.”

“That should tell you how dire the situation actually is. If I am complimenting Sirius, something is amiss.”

“You’ve said you are worried about Potter, but I am still unsure as to why.”

“Potter has something planned this afternoon, and I doubt it’s any good.”

“Do you believe he would hurt Hermione?”

“Not intentionally,” Severus replied. "But he could still hurt her, meaning he must be stopped."

“Even the best of friends will hurt each other,” Dismas replied. “There is nothing you can do to prevent that.”

“This is different though.”

“How?”

“To begin with, he believes she is crazy.”

“Why?”

“Because she admitted she talks to me. Upon hearing that he was,” Severus twisted his lips. “Less than willing to believe her.”

“I see.” Dismas’ glow lessened.

“She needs support from me,” Severus continued. “Whatever Potter has planned needs to be dealt with by me since I am the one who put her in this situation.”

“What exactly do you plan to do?”

“I could find a way to move objects if Potter questions her again. Right now he thinks she’s crazy because I only appear to her. I could prove my existence if I could be out in public.”

“Have you tried proving your existence to Potter by being in the same room as him and moving objects?”

“Yes.”

“I take it that it didn’t work.”

“Sadly, no.” Severus’ glow was a slight blue.

The Good Thief hummed.

“But that doesn’t matter,” Severus’ glow returned to its usual hue. “You need to allow me to help Hermione somehow, to prove to Potter once and for all that she is not crazy.”

“If he didn’t believe you when you were in her home, what makes you think he will believe that you are out in public?

“I don’t know. Perhaps I could do something more grandiose than picking up a pillow.”

“Like picking up an entire couch?”

“If one was nearby, I would,” Severus answered.

“It would also prove beyond a doubt that spirits exist, which would interfere with the natural order,” Dismas replied.

“What natural order?”

“Spirits and mortals are meant to be separate. It’s been that way since creation, and so far it has served us well since our division encourages free will and true belief.”

“Isn’t this whole program already interfering with the natural order?” Severus argued. “Hermione knows I am real, and we communicate. She has plenty of free will, and she uses it effectively. Why can I not display myself to others outside of her house?”

“What you do is on a small scale, and does not significantly affect anyone’s free will other than the person you are meant to help.”

“I sense a but.”

“A dramatic proof of your existence would cause chaos, and would cause people to act in ways they normally wouldn’t. Harry must believe in you because he is open to you, not because you’ve proven yourself beyond a shadow of a doubt.”

“I don’t want to posses Potter, only prove my existence to him.”

“If you do as you propose you will not only prove your existence to him, but to others as well,” Dismas warned. “People other than Potter could see your sign. They may draw their own conclusions, some of which you may not like.”

“Potter mentioned Hermione’s magic misfiring,” Severus mused.

“Others could reach the same conclusion. They could believe she has a serious medical condition or is having an extreme mental breakdown. Where would you two be then?”

Severus slumped.

“I know this is hard,” Dismas gave him a soft smile. “But you need to let things play out and trust Sirius to give you an accurate report of what occurred. Then, you can strategize what to do next with him and Hermione.”

“What if Potter does something I can’t undo?”

“Then you, Sirius, and Hermione will find a way to deal with it.”

“How certain are you of that?”

“As certain as I am of the program working as intended.”

Severus nodded, praying to whoever would listen that Dismas was correct.

***

A psychiatrist’s office.

Sirius’ glow was as white as Hermione’s face. What was his godson thinking? It was one thing to doubt Hermione, but to imply she was mad?

Hermione’s eyes were wide and focused on the bronze placard beside the cherrywood door. No matter how many times she read the letters, they were not the name of a trendy restaurant, but something much different.

Dr. Lum: Doctor of Psychiatry.

Her mouth was slightly open, as if every word formed in her mind dared not reach her tongue. Beside her, Harry had a hand on her shoulder. He bowed his head and shifted his eyes.

“I-I don’t understand,” Hermione’s voice was barley above a whisper. “Why am I here?”

“You know why you’re here.”

Her mouth opened more.

“Dr. Lum is a good doctor,” Harry’s voice was soft. “She’ll take good care of you.”

Hermione turned to him. “How much did you tell her?”

He didn’t look up.

“How much did you tell her?” Hermione raised her voice.

“She knows about Severus.”

“What?”

Harry flinched from the volume of her voice.

“You had no right! You had no right to tell anyone this.”

“I’m trying to act in your best interest.”

“You can shove your good intention. I’m not doing this…”

He grabbed her before she could escape. Then his eyes met hers.

“You think I’m mad, don’t you?” She snapped. “You think I’ve gone crazy!”

Sirius’ glow had an arrhythmic pulse.

“I think you’re under an enormous amount of stress right now, and you’re having difficulty in handling it.” Harry’s tone was even.

“I’m doing just fine,” she argued.

“Then why are you talking to dead people?”

“Because he’s with me in a spiritual form. I see him, hear him, and touch him in a way nobody else can!”

Harry sighed.

“Why can’t you see the truth?” Her voice cracked.

Sirius was relieved that the waiting room was empty aside from two lavender padded chairs. The echo of Hermione’s voice was deafening even to a spirit.

If Sirius was honest with himself, the room made him uneasy. It was too much like parts of his childhood home. It was smaller than most of the closets of Twelve Grimmauld Place, and the yellow wallpaper was just as faded.

“I’m not crazy!” Hermione’s voice echoed throughout the room. “I’m not crazy!”

“There’s nothing wrong with admitting you need help…”

“No, I don’t need help! I need you to believe me! I need Severus! I need,” her eyes lit up. “Cooking.”

“Cooking?” He cocked his head.

“Yes, cooking.” She clasped her hands together. “I can cook now. You know I couldn’t cook before, but I can cook now. You also know someone was teaching me how to cook.”

He swallowed.

“It was Severus. Severus was teaching me to cook. He still is. The fact that I can cook now is reason enough for you to believe me.”

He blinked.

“Hermione.” A woman poked her head into the room.

“You know I’m not crazy. Deep down inside you know I’m not mad.”

He shook his head slowly.

“Tell her I’m not crazy.”

It was clear from his expression that Harry would do no such thing.

“Please.” Tears were forming in her eyes. “Please believe me.”

Yes, Sirius sent out as much affection as he could, hoping against hope he could get his message across. Believe her.

“Hermione Granger?” The voice asked again.

She looked at him and shook.

“You need to speak with someone,” He took her hand and led her towards the women.

“No! No, I don’t!” Tears were streaming down her face.

He pushed her through the door. Sirius ran through it just before it shut.

How can I possibly get Hermione out of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	95. Chapter 95

Hermione couldn’t absorb the conversation between the psychiatrist and Harry. The white sterile walls and the oaken desk faded into the background as Hermione’s world imploded upon her. The words spoken about her were indecipherable mumblings underlying echoing shout of one thought:

How could Harry do this to me?

Hermione’s pulse quickened as her face burned. Every muscle in her body tensed.

There was a power coursing through her veins, though she knew not what it was.

A few times she shot a look at the door, but decided against bolting out. There was something stirring within her, something that said a powerful force would protect her. If things became too untenable, somebody would step in. She believe in it as much as she believed in Severus' visits. Severus may not be able to save her, but someone else could, someone she couldn't quite identify but was just as powerful...

Taking this sensation into account, she decided to stay. She deserved, not needed a chance to defend herself, futile as that endeavor may be. So many times her story had been told by others, whether it be Rita Skeeter or Ron. It was time for her to stand up and tell the truth.

“Have you spoken to Severus?” Dr. Lum asked.

“No, I haven’t,” Harry admitted.

Hermione’s chest froze at the name of her beloved. Every fiber of her being wished her was there, making snarky comments about Harry. She could almost see his glow turning red as he bit his tongue. Then, he would note the fear in her eyes. He would touch her, and all would be well in her world. As the image became clearer, a more sinister thought entered her mind.

What if I never see Severus again?

No, something told her that wouldn't happen. How she knew this she was unsure, but someone would step into protect her. 

"He doesn't appear to anyone either," Harry replied. "Only her..."

She attempted to keep her mind from wandering to her sitting in a sterile white padded cell, screaming for the Trinity to allow her to see Severus, or whatever force there was to make him appear.

“Hermione?”

She startled.

“You haven’t said much,” the psychiatrist’s smile was sweet, almost genuine.

What was the catch?

“What is there to say?” Hermione began, her tone even.

“Plenty.” Dr. Lum put a quill to her yellow notepad and scribbled something.

Hermione glared at her. The room may have smelled like lavender, but her office was in no way relaxing.

“Would you like to speak with me about your visions of Severus Snape?” Dr. Lum flicked her wrist, jiggling her gold bracelet.

“Why should I?”

“It could help us sort some things out.”

“What things? I’m clear on what I’ve experienced. It's only Harry who's confused.”

“Hermione.” Harry put a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” She snapped. “Don’t ever touch me again!”

He recoiled.

Dr. Lum hummed and wrote on her pad.

Hermione’s stomach dropped. That little outburst may have proven she was crazy. A boiling tear threatened to trickle down her cheek.

Had she just given up her chance to be with Severus?

“Please understand, I’m only trying to help you,” He began.

“If you want to help me, then believe me when I say I’m communicating with Severus.” Although her voice was quiet, she was trembling from the effort to keep her emotions in check.

Harry sighed and shook his head.

“Can’t you just believe me?”

He stared at the beige carpet.

Moments dragged on. Hermione turned her attention to Dr. Lum. The psychiatrist was quiet, as if waiting for that one sign which would give her permission to commit Hermione to the mental institution.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Harry choked.

“Well, you did,” Hermione snapped.

“Would you mind allowing me some time alone with Hermione?” Dr. Lum cut in.

Harry blinked.

“I think we could have a more productive conversation if you stepped out of the room,” Dr. Lum continued. “Not to mention the fact that you could be violating confidentiality by remaining here.”

“Sure.” Harry stood. “Yeah, sure.”

Hermione glowered at him as he left. Then, she folded her arms over her chest and slouched into her green chair.

“Before we begin,” Dr. Lum placed her quill onto the pad. “I should reiterate that I am a magical psychiatrist.”

Hermione’s frown deepened.

“I am well aware that there are things which occur in this world that others may not understand.”

“Like what?”

“Like things you wouldn’t see in the muggle world such as ghosts…”

“Severus isn’t a ghost, he’s a spirit!”

“A spirit,” Dr. Lum was unfazed.

A moment of silence passed.

“I am open to anything you have to tell me,” Dr. Lum continued. “I will do my best to try and understand what is going on.”

“Harry is a wizard, and he doesn’t understand what’s going on. Why should I trust you?”

"Because I'm not Harry."

The force grew stronger, though it did not relax Hermione.

“What is going on?”

“Does it matter what I say?” Hermione swallowed. “You’re going to believe what you want to believe.”

"What do you think I believe?"

"That I'm nuts."

"Actually I'm still unclear on that."

Hermione raised an eyebrow."

“What I believe is that this is the most specific yet elaborate situation I have ever heard.”

Hermione took note of the fact that Dr. Lum did not call it a fantasy.

“You don’t see Severus Snape all the time, nor do you claim you are married to him,” Dr. Lum began. “I find that interesting.”

“I never claimed to be married to him, only in a relationship with him.”

“Yes, but you have yet to bring him to work, attempt to take him out to dinner, or buy yourself gifts and claim they are from him. In short, ” Dr. Lum took a deep breath. “This doesn’t sound like the fantasy of someone losing her mind.”

Hermione stared at Dr. Lum. Did she want her unwilling patient to lower her guard, or was she serious?

“I also find it interesting that you still acknowledge that he is dead. If you were having a psychiatric break, I would expect you to attempt to prove he was alive, or claim he was in a secret location only you could access. Still, you acknowledge that he is dead, which I find fascinating.”

“He is dead. I…” Hermione’s throat constricted. “I saw him die, I attended his funeral and his posthumous awards ceremony. There is no reason to deny that he is dead.”

“Do you have the urge to be united with him?”

“Yes, but not the way you think.”

“Oh?” Dr. Lum hummed.

“It’s complicated, but there is a way for two souls to touch.”

“And he is just a soul?”

“A spirit is a soul without a body, so I suppose he is one.”

“Have you had the urge to unite yourself with him by taking your own life?”

“No.” Hermione's eyes grew. “I don’t want to die, and he wants me to live.”

“He doesn’t encourage you to hurt or kill yourself?”

“No, never!”

“When you see him, what does he encourage you to do?”

“He wants me to find eudaimonia.”

“He wants you to find happiness?” Dr. Lum scribbled something on her notepad.

“You know what eudaimonia is?”

“I had a double major in psychology and philosophy. I'm very familiar with the concept.” Dr. Lum grinned.

“I see,” Hermione drawled.

“Anyway, why don’t you tell me why he wants to help you find eudaimonia.”

“It’s a long, complicated story, but in short, he needs to get out of Purgatory by helping me achieve a sense of eudaimonia.”

“So he’s only here for a limited amount of time?”

Hermione felt the color drain from her face.

“Has he spoken with you about leaving?”

“We try to avoid that topic.” Hermione rubbed her right hand.

“Has he given you a time frame for when he plans to leave?”

“The Trinity hasn’t made that clear,” Hermione mumbled.

“The Trinity?” Dr. Lum cocked her head.

“Yes, the Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier. They run the program.”

“Were you particularly religious before this experience?”

“Not terribly,” Hermione admitted. “Though I talk to the Trinity more frequently now, if only to ask them if he can stay and thank them for sending him to me in the first place.”

“Do they answer back?”

“I mean they let him stay. I suppose that’s their answer.”

“But they don’t speak to you with words?”

“No,” Hermione answered.

“Have you seen them?”

“No.”

“And Severus Snape is the only dead person you see?” Dr. Lum jotted down another note.

“Yes.” Hermione folded her hands.

“Okay,” Dr. Lum exhaled. “Thank you, this is all very helpful.”

Hermione rubbed her thumbs together as she fidgeted.

“I will be honest with you,” Dr. Lum set the pad onto her desk. “This is quite an elaborate set up.”

Hermione’s stomach churned.

“That being said,” Dr. Lum’s eyes softened. “I’ve seen weirder things from the Hogwarts ghosts and read weirder stories in the lives of many great, and perfectly sane, wizards.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I believe you.”

“You do?” Hermione sat up straight.

“Well, believe may be a strong word, but I do not believe your visits with Severus are causing any long term damage.”

“No, they’re helping me. As crazy as it sounds, they’re helping me live my best life.”

“You’re under that impression anyway.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Hermione frowned again.

“It means that after speaking with you, watching your body language, and hearing more about the situation, I believe that whatever this is has the effect of helping you process your feelings concerning everything else going on in your life.”

“It does much more than that.”

“Perhaps,” Dr. Lum admitted “Though I would ask you to consider how these visits are affecting others.”

Hermione twisted her lower lip.

“Saying the things you did about Harry’s mother was needlessly hurtful.”

“He deserved to know the truth.” She bit her lower lip, wondering if she’d said too much.

“According to Severus that was the truth, but according to others that may not have been the case.”

She swallowed.

“Regardless,” Dr. Lum crossed her legs. “It wouldn’t hurt for you to consider therapy.”

“Because I see Severus?”

“No, because you’ve been through a lot in your life.”

Hermione’s expression was blank.

“You went through a war at a very young age, and you went through a public breakup with the only living man you’ve loved. Most people in your situation could benefit from a bit of therapy, if only to help them process everything.”

“Would my getting therapy lead someone to believe I’m crazy, given my relationship with Severus?”

“Getting therapy means you’re recovering from trauma, not that you’re crazy beyond hope.”

Hermione tapped the armrest of her chair.

“Here.” Dr. Lum reached into her white shirt pocket and pulled out a card. “If you ever feel the need to speak with someone, I can give you some great recommendations. I am more than happy to help you find someone who can get you through whatever issues you may be having.”

“But they would not view me as crazy?” Hermione took the card.

“No.” There was a twinkle in Dr. Lum’s eyes. “I would make sure they understood that in my professional opinion, you are not crazy.”

“I’ll, I’ll consider this.” Hermione folded the card and put it into her jeans pocket.

“Well,” Dr. Lum’s smile returned. “If you would like, could you call Harry into my office? There are some thing we need to discuss.”

“Yes,” Hermione stood. “I can do that.”

Dr. Lum stood and extended her hand. “It was great to meet you, Hermione.”

“Great to meet you too.” Hermione shook her hand.

As Hermione exited the room, Dr. Lum exhaled and glanced at her notes.

Under most circumstances, she would've committed Hermione, but the visions specific enough to be true. Even if her notes didn't support a verdict of sanity, Dr. Lum felt a force in the room, a whisper in her ear to believe Hermione. She'd never felt it before, but it was as real as she was. 

From the corner of her eye, Dr. Lum thought she saw a mist. She startled and glanced up. A figure of a man in a white robe with long wavy hair gave her a small wink and waved before vanishing.

Yes, Hermione was telling the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	96. Chapter 96

Sirius couldn’t have been prouder of Hermione. Despite Harry’s behavior, she had managed not to shout at him when she left the building, settling instead on a mumbled, “she wants to see you” and strolling out. She had handled herself with grace, and kept her cool when most would have panicked. It was as if she had regained confidence in herself, and was well on her way to finding eudaimonia.

His glow intensified. If she was well on her way to finding eudaimonia, then he was well on his way of getting into heaven! There was no way he wouldn’t have a few centuries taken off his Purgatory time if she now had the confidence to hold her head up high despite such awful circumstances! He could finally enjoy heaven while Severus…

Was broken because he was no longer with his beloved Hermione, and she was just as heartbroken from the separation.

He turned dark blue as he followed her down the crimson hallway. As much as he wanted to go to heaven, he no longer wanted to do it at Severus and Hermione’s expense.

When had he started caring about Severus’ feelings?

Hermione stepped outside, into the sunlight. A few birds chirped as they flew above the gray buildings. She took a deep breath before relaxing.

Was there any way for Hermione and Severus to be together without her dying? Could Sirius help make that happen? Would the Trinity ever allow them together on this earth, or would they say a thousand years was like a day and leave it at that.

“You!”

Sirius’ glow went white and dulled.

“You!” The voice grew nearer. “You need to help me!”

Hermione raised an eyebrow as the stranger approached her.

"Stay away from her!" Sirius yelled. "You have no right to be near her."

The intruder glowered at him until he went white and wilted. 

"Go away," the intruder growled.

"You, you can't hurt her," Sirius argued.

"Go away before I tell the Trinity you are fooling around instead of working."

Sirius stared at him before his glow turned red. "We'll see how the Trinity reacts to you being here."

With that, Sirius disappeared. He wasn't fool enough to take on Metatron alone.

***

Hermione stopped and turned around when she heard her name called once more. A man approached her, his eyes aflame with a purpose. His hands were balled into fists as he scowled.

“I need your help, and I need it now,” he demanded.

She pointed to herself.

“Yes, you.” He spoke to her as if she was daft.

Hermione glanced around. Upon seeing that nobody else was present, she took a deep breath. If she was lucky this would be a small favor, or this man would take the hint and leave.

“You need to help me.”

“How can I help you?”

“I need a new bottle of tequila and a cup nobody has ever taken a sip from.”

She didn’t know which she found odder; the bottle of tequila, the pristine cup, or his overall demeanor. Everything from his red suit to his well kept hair screamed high price attorney who needed no help from anyone. She would be lying if she said she didn’t find him at least somewhat appealing though. Perhaps that’s why she wanted to stay and hear him out.

“Did you not hear me?” He demanded.

“I heard you,” she drawled. “You want tequila and a glass nobody has drunk from.”

“Yes, and I need them both within the next twelve hours.”

“Twelve hours?”

“Yes, I’ll be too busy to get them myself after that timeframe.”

She continued to examine him. Unlike most people who scurried about Hogsmeade demanding liquor, there was no scent of alcohol on his breath or any smudge on his body. The time frame was odd as well. Why twelve hours? What was so pressing in thirteen hours?

“Can you please help me?” His voice was softer.

“Perhaps,” She replied. “But first I must ask; why do you need a bottle of tequila and a glass?”

“It can’t be just any glass. I need a glass nobody has drunk from.”

“Fine, a glass nobody has drunk from. Why do you need either?”

He tapped his foot and glanced up at the sky. Then he shook his head. “I very much like the taste of tequila and would like a bottle for my enjoyment, as well as my friend’s.”

“No offense sir, but you look like you have more than enough galleons to buy a bottle for yourself.”

“I, uh misplaced my wallet.”

“What about your friend? Don’t they have money?”

“No, and she doesn’t have time to get money either.”

“If you need the bottle of tequila within twelve hours surely you can find it within that time frame.”

“My wallet is too far away for me to just get.”

“Did you leave it somewhere?” A black horse and buggy passed by on the cobblestone street.

“Yes,” he admitted. “It’s in a place I can’t reach at the moment.”

“Shouldn’t you be at Grignotts trying to replace your lost funds then?”

“I don’t have an account.”

“Why not?”

“I’m from another place so I haven’t set one up yet.”

“You might want to ask them about accessing your other bank account. They could help with that,” she suggested.

“That isn’t an option.”

“Why not?”

“It is a very long story, one you would take little interest in.”

If Hermione was honest with herself, she had no idea why she was continuing this conversation. Perhaps she was curious as to the reasons behind these strange requests, or perhaps the man had a charisma she couldn’t help but appreciate. The fact that he looked like Severus and had a similar voice worked in his favor.

“Listen, I know this all sounds bizarre, but I promise it is for a good cause,” he wasn’t pleading, but the fire of defiance had died in his eyes.

“What cause would that be exactly?”

The man’s posture was less straight, but he did not sigh as Hermione would expect someone to do in his situation. This encounter was only getting stranger…

“I...er, my friend, is very irate with me over something stupid I did. The only way to make it up to her is to buy this bottle of tequila and a glass nobody has drunk from.”

“Did she ask for tequila? It seems like the last thing you should bring into this equation is alcohol.”

“Yes, she asked for it specifically,” he gave her a wistful smile. “She’s never had it, but has heard me mention it in passing a few times. After awhile she requested it, and who am I to deny her anything?”

Hermione decided not to ask why she couldn’t get her own bottle.

“She wants it in a glass only she’s drunk from because it will show that I made an effort to win her back. Not to mention she prefers things clean.”

Hermione blinked. She could’ve sworn she saw him glow. The moment passed. Perhaps she was hanging out with a certain spirit for too long.

“Please.” His eyes were softer, but his posture straighter. “If you can do me this small favor, I promise to repay the favor in a great way.”

“How?” She asked.

“I’ll find a way,” he promised.

Hermione stared at him. Nothing about this situation made sense. If he was anyone else, she would have walked away. Still, there was something trustworthy about this man, something which made her want to help him, as inadvisable as it might be.

“Will you help me?” He asked.

“I suppose.” She exhaled. “I have another hour before I need to get back to work.”

A smile crept across his face.

“There’s a liquor store a few blocks from here. If you follow me, we can get her the best I can afford.”

“Oh thank you.” She swore she saw him glow again. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“It’s no problem Mr….”

“Enoch.” He extended his hand. “Mr. Michael Enoch.”

“I’m Hermione Granger.” She took his hand and shook it.

“Yes, I know.” He muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing.” He withdrew his hand from her. “Why don’t we get my tequila now?”

“Yes, let’s,” Hermione answered, wondering how she could be so at peace after the day she’d just had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	97. Chapter 97

“What do you mean Metatron is with Hermione?” Severus leapt from his place on the couch, knocking over a stack of ten books.

“He just approached her on the street!” Sirius was stark white as he stepped towards the sofa. “He shouted at her, glared at me, and then I realized I needed backup to deal with him."

“And you just left?”

"Only so I could find help."

“Why didn't you confront him and call for the Trinity there?” Severus’ glow was intensifying.

“I didn’t want a confrontation with Metatron, especially after everything that’s happened!”

“Coward,” Severus hissed.

“It may have been the wrong thing to leave her alone...”

“It was the wrong thing!”

“Maybe not.”

“How could leaving her alone with him ever be considered the right thing?"

“I need to ask the Trinity to help her!”

“How are we supposed to call them?”

“I don’t know," Sirius admitted. "Maybe we pray to them or something."

"Because they've been oh so willing to listen to our prayers."

"They sent us here instead of Purgatory, didn't they?"

Severus grumbled something indecipherable.

"They have control over him. Perhaps they’d threaten to damn him or something if he becomes too hostile towards her.”

“They could do that, couldn’t they?” Severus’ glow lessened.

“Yes, and if Dismas is right, he’s already on thin ice. It may not take much for them to damn him, or at least take away his authority.”

“Very true.”

“So she may be fine, assuming the Trinity was listening when I pleaded for them to come.”

"They still aren't here."

"Maybe they are and we don't know it."

“Trinity aside, I still don't know why Metatron would seek her out though.” Severus scratched his chin.

“I don’t know, but he isn’t stupid,” Sirius’ glow became a light yellow. “He likes his job, and he knows he’ll lose it if he pulls too much of a stunt.”

“True.” Severus sat on the couch, his glow now normal.

“He’s not going to hurt her, though what he plans to do I’m not sure of.”

“That’s the only thing I wish I knew; whether or not he has any ill-intent.”

“Even if he does have ill-intent.” Sirius sat beside him. “She’s a strong woman who can handle herself.”

“It sounds as if she handled herself well with the psychologist anyway.” Severus shook his head. “I cannot believe I did not foresee Potter taking her into one.”

“It was a misguided attempt to show how much he cares for her.”

“He cares so much for here that he called her crazy!”

“In his defense, it must be difficult to hear his best friend is carrying on a relationship with one of his dead heroes.”

“I haven’t the foggiest clue why Potter thinks I’m a hero,” Severus muttered.

“I don’t either.”

Severus turned to Sirius. The dog smirked.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Severus frowned.

“Because you’re a hero, and you know it.”

“I did what needed to be done. That hardly makes me a hero and…” Severus’ eyes bulged. “Did you just admit I was a hero?”

“Apparently I did.” Sirius raised a hand. “But don’t think much of it. You’re only a hero because you’re helping me leave Purgatory. Other than the risking your life spying every night for years on end, you aren’t that special.”

“Indeed," the black clad spirit drawled.

Sirius’ smile remained.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that? There is little special about me. I committed heinous actions, even in the name of the Light. There is little to admire about me,” Severus replied.

“Hermione disagrees.”

“Apparently Potter does too.” Severus mumbled.

“He does,” Sirius answered.

Silence fell between them, for what could have been seconds, or hours. Neither knew how to adequately tell time in circumstances such as this.

“Do you think Metatron is talking Hermione out of loving me?” Severus asked.

Sirius tilted his head.

“I’m at such a loss for what he wants. From what everyone’s said, his objections to our relationship are duly noted. What if he’s convincing her not to love me?” Severus’ voice was barely above a whisper.

“I think Metatron has more important things to worry about than your love life, or at least he should.”

“He seems all too happy to interfere with it though.”

“There’s a difference between paying a Purgatory visit to someone he despises and discussing a complete stranger’s love life.”

“Not if that mortal understands spiritual things as Hermione does. She’ll accept he’s an angel, and listen to him. He could very easily convince her that I am unworthy of her affection.”

“Let’s say he is trying to interfere with your love life.” Sirius crossed his legs. “Do you think he’d be able to convince Hermione that you’re worthless?”

“I would like to think not.”

“He can’t,” Sirius touched the other spirit’s shoulder. “Despite what Metatron says, you and Hermione are soul mates. You two have a connection I could only dream of. You may technically be in Purgatory, but it’s clear you’ve found heaven with her.”

“Indeed, heaven,” Severus’ eyes were distant.

“I wish I had found any peace like the kind you found with Hermione,” Sirius’s glow brightened. “It would be nice to find that peace, whether in heaven or with someone else.”

“You will reach heaven eventually.”

“In a few centuries perhaps.” Sirius removed his hand from him.

“It will be sooner, I assure you.”

“How do you know?”

“Call it intuition.”

“Just like my intuition that Metatron can’t convince Hermione not to love you.”

“Perhaps.” Severus cracked a smile.

Sirius gave him a grin in return.

“It is rather unfortunate you have not found peace yet. Perhaps you aren’t as undeserving of it as I believed,” Severus noted.

“I don’t know if I deserve it,” Sirius replied. “But I would like to know what heaven is like sooner rather than later.”

“You will, unless…” Severus’ voice trailed off.

“Unless what?” Sirius went white again.

“Would they penalize you for my falling in love with Hermione?” Severus asked. “Are my actions putting your eternal salvation in jeopardy?”

“You actually care about my eternal salvation now?”

“Believe me, it is far from my main concern, but if the program is determined a failure because of me, what will become of you?”

“Well I’m a smooth talker.” Sirius leaned back. “I can talk my way out of more Purgatory time.”

“Because you were having so much luck with St. Peter right before the program started.”

“If I’d had another hour I would’ve worn him down. All he needed to hear was a couple more motorcycle stories and he would’ve been begging me to walk through those pearly gates.”

“Sure,” Severus drawled.

“I am more persuasive than you’d like to admit.” Sirius smirked. “I got you to like me after all.”

“Circumstances force me to tolerate you. It is nothing more than that, I assure you.”

“You love me and you know it.” Sirius bumped Severus’ arm.

“Love is a very strong word,” Severus paused. “But if love means I care for your well-being, then I suppose that is accurate enough.”

“You mean that, don’t you?”

“Lying does me no good in my quest for eternal salvation.”

“Yes, but to hear those words is still amazing.”

“Savor them. This is the last time you’ll hear them.”

Sirius chuckled.

“In all seriousness,” Severus’ glow dimmed. “If there is any way to allow you to go to heaven and me remain with Hermione I will take it.”

“If there was any way for you to remain with Hermione in a form that wouldn’t piss everyone off, I would plead with the Trinity to find that solution.”

“As would I.” Severus turned blue. “Though I do not wish for her to die to be with me. She has so much life to live. She should be focusing on cherishing every moment of her earthly existence, not waiting for death so everyone can stop opposing our relationship.”

“Perhaps the Trinity will allow this program to continue indefinitely.”

“Where would that leave you?” Severus asked. “When this ends, will you go back in that room for a few more centuries given that this sentence is only meant to partially remove your time.”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead.” Sirius’ glow remained normal. “But I won’t dwell on that yet. We still have to bring Hermione eudaimonia, which means we may be here another few centuries.”

“Would that bother you?”

“So long as you could tolerate me, no.”

“That’s a tall order.”

Sirius laughed.

“Severus? Sirius?”

The spirits turned to the Good Thief.

“I don’t mean to interrupt anything, but given Severus’ emotional state concerning today I was wondering if either of you needed someone to talk to,” Dismas began.

“I actually would.” Severus stood.

Dismas turned to Sirius.

“I’ll be fine,” Sirius answered. “I don’t think I could add anymore than what Severus will have to say.”

“Shall we go to the clouds then?” Dismas extended his hand.

“Yes, I believe we should,” Severus took it.

They disappeared, leaving Sirius alone, confident Metatron's bosses were keeping him in line.

***

It was time to survey the damage.

Cormac strolled down the street, a sneer on his face. He had seen how despondent Harry was in the office. When asked about how his lunch break went, he’d said little. The hurt in his eyes had been unmistakable.

Hermione Granger was in a crazy ward! Cormac was sure of it!

He was practically skipping when he turned on to the avenue he sought.

Time to see the wreckage of Hermione’s life, starting with her store and that obnoxious cashier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	98. Chapter 98

There was nothing more breathtaking than the fusion of souls amongst the stars.

Severus watched the specks of blue, red, and yellow came together until they formed one bright flame. After a time they would separate, both specks brighter from the experience. Sometimes they would re-fuse with each other, and others they would dance around each other in ecstatic flight.

“I thought you’d appreciate the night view of heaven again.” Dismas waved his right hand, creating a chair from the violet clouds.

“I do love heaven when it is night.” Severus’ lips twitched upwards.

Dismas made another chair and sat.

“Thank you again for meeting with me.” Severus kept his eyes on the spirits. “I know it was short notice.”

“No, I knew today would be hard, given everything we’ve discussed.”

“True, but,” Severus’ eyes glistened. “The fusing souls are gorgeous. Thank you for the change of scenery.”

“You are more than welcome.” Dismas leaned back. “But I don’t think you called me just to view heaven.”

“Yes, I would like to discuss a few things.” Severus turned to him as his glow dulled.

Dismas crossed his legs.

“Metatron is with Hermione.”

The Good Thief’s eyes grew.

“I do not know what the archangel wants with her, or if she can hold her own against him. All I know is when Sirius was spying on her, Metatron came and scared him away.”

“Oh my.” Dismas shook his head.

“You don’t think he would hurt her, do you?”

“No, it wouldn’t be in his best interest to harm a mortal, especially if he needs one for…” the saint’s voice trailed off.

“What?” Severus went white.

“That sneaky little angel.” Dismas chuckled as his eyes twinkled. “That sneaky little bastard.”

“What is he doing?”

“Hermione is fine.” Dismas laughed louder. “Metatron needs her, and he knows it.”

“What could he possibly need her for?”

“A bottle of tequila and a glass never drunken out of before.”

Severus’ glow was yellow once more.

“Metatron has chosen Hermione for his little alcohol run.”

“Why?”

“Because in his mind she got him into this mess, and she needs to help him get out of it.”

“If she refuses…”

“The Trinity won’t let him do a thing to her, though if I’m honest I think the chances of her not helping are slim.” Dismas gestured for him to sit.

“Why do you think she’d help him?” Severus took his place. “She doesn’t know him, and I doubt he’s behaved well around her.”

“First of all, Metatron does know how to behave around mortals.”

“Oh right, he stabs them.”

“No, he only did that to the one he really liked.”

Severus did not appear comforted.

“But I still think Hermione will help him. Mortals pure in heart often help angels."

“Why would they do so?” Severus raised an eyebrow.

“It’s difficult to explain, and I’m not sure anyone aside from the Trinity understands the mechanics of it all, but mortals can sense holiness, and often respond to it.”

“Forgive me if I consider Metatron less than holy.” Severus’ glow was a soft red.

“He’s holy in his way, even if he forgets it sometimes. Then again,” Dismas shrugged. “Mortals are holier than they believe themselves to be, They often forget that too.”

“Mortals are holy?”

“Of course they are. Everything part of the cosmic order is holy in its own way.”

“That is an interesting viewpoint, though difficult to believe."

“Then allow me to explain," Dismas began. "To understand it, it must be acknowledged that everything depends upon each other, whether on earth or in the afterlife.”

“How do angels depend on mortals?”

“They depend upon them to spread love,” Dismas answered.

Severus cocked his head.

“Love is the order of the universe. The ultimate end of every created thing is to create and accept love. Heaven is merely the place where love is given most freely. Anything on earth can give love though given the opportunity.”

“What if they reject love?”

“Then they have forgotten who they are, but that does not mean they are any less holy. It simply means they are lost.”

“Voldemort was much more than lost,” Severus noted.

“Yes, well, some people reject their innate holiness,” Dismas’ glow flickered. “Which is the greatest tragedy heaven is forced to witness.”

“Indeed. Still, it is difficult to think of him as holy, or even myself as being such."

"You are holy though since you are participating in the cosmic order."

"My way of doing so is unconventional."

"What is conventional?" Dismas' glow was a shade brighter.

"It isn't a spirit visiting a mortal every night."

"Most of heaven looks after a mortal, albeit not in person the way you do. It's how they participate in that circle of love. In essence, it is how they express their holiness."

"So as long as I watch over Hermione, I am holy?"

"You are innately holy. Your value depends on nothing other than the fact you exist. Love is only expressing holiness."

"But I can express holiness so long as I love?"

"As long as you love as best you can, you are expressing holiness."

"I see," there was a spark of understanding in Severus' eyes.

Silence fell between them.

“I promise to keep an eye on Hermione. If Metatron gets out of line, then the Trinity is bound to step in before I can. She’s in no danger,” Dismas promised.

“I hope so.” Severus slouched in his chair.

The spirits returned their attention to the fusing and separation of the orbs before them. The sounds of harps, trumpets, and flutes could be heard. Dismas didn’t know if Severus could hear it given that usually only heavenly spirits could hear such music. Sometime, Dismas should share the song with Severus, especially given how well he knew it.

He’d first heard it within two days of his death. The souls from limbo poured into heaven as the angels rang out the song. Nothing had ever sounded so glorious or triumphant in his existence. It was hard not to be taken up in the swell of the music, even if his spirit was struggling to process what had just occurred…

“Dismas?”

The saint turned to his companion.

“Will you become upset with me if I ask you something?”

“Not at all,” the Good Thief replied. “Ask me anything.”

“Can heaven ever take the place of losing a loved one?”

“Why would you ask that?” The saint’s glow lessened.

“First, I must admit this mission has become quite complicated to me,” Severus lowered his eyes. “See, I have grown quite fond of Hermione, so much so that I do not wish to leave her.”

“You don’t need to leave her. You will go to heaven, and she will hopefully join you upon death. There is no need for an eternal separation.”

“Yes, but she could live another century, perhaps longer,” Severus locked eyes with Dismas. “That is a long time to wait for someone.”

“True, but it may only seem as if it were a minute.”

“Will it though?”

Dismas folded his hands.

“I have given this much thought, and there is nobody I wish to see up in heaven at the moment.” Severus scratched his armrest. “Well, that is not entirely accurate, I would like to see Lily at some point, and obviously I would like to spend time with you. In truth, I would rather spend time with you than her. Perhaps I could send a spare thought to Sirius, though he will probably still in Purgatory when I return to heaven.”

“I never thought you’d want to see Sirius.”

“Believe me, I am as shocked as you are.”

“It is a positive development.”

“Either that or I have gone completely mad.”

“You’ve grown and formed a new friendship,” Dismas’ glow was soft. “There is nothing wrong with that.”

“Perhaps.” Severus sat up straighter. “Still, it all seems empty if Hermione is not with me.”

“It may feel that way for a time, but that will make the reunion all the much sweeter.”

“What am I expected to do as I wait for her though? If I stand on top of a cloud, or stand beside the gates waiting for her, then if I can be blunt,” Severus furrowed his eyebrows. “It sounds little better than Purgatory. I would rather stay in the program indefinitely than spend time waiting for Hermione while everyone else is joyful with their loved ones around me.”

“I can understand the reluctance not to go to heaven…”

“What is the point of heaven if the ones we love are not there? Why should I ever want to be separated from Hermione?”

“Because heaven is good in and of itself. For that reason alone, it is worth waiting for her until she enters.”

“For you perhaps it is, but what about someone like me who has nobody?”

“You would be in a similar position to me, always amongst the saints, making some of the best friends imaginable, but not with the people you wish most to see, leaving a twinge of emptiness,” Dismas turned blue.

“Do you feel lonely?” Severus’ voice was barely above a whisper.

“More often than I care to admit.”

“Everyone loves you though. Gabriel plays concerts for you, and you go to parties thrown by saint Augustine. You’re happy,” Severus answered. “At least I thought you were.”

“Oh no, I am happy.” Dismas’ glow was yellow and his smile serene. “I am more happy now than I have ever been because I have obtained eudaemonia. I would not trade the existence I have now for anything.”

“Then why are you lonely?”

“Because, Gestas and Barabbas wouldn’t come up with me,” Dismas turned blue once more.

“Why?” Severus kept his focus on Dismas.

“In order to understand that, we need to start on the day I died.” Dismas began. “Pilate was cruel, much crueler than any Christian admits. The hegemon didn’t want to crucify Jesus, but he knew Barabbas, Gestas, and I were getting strength from each other. We weren’t afraid of death because we had peace with each other. So, he decided to separate us by putting up Barabbas for release."

"Why Barabbas?"

"He was our leader. If he was set free, and had to watch us be crucified, then we would all die broken.”

“So Pilate didn’t believe Jesus was innocent?”

“No, he truly believed crucifying Jesus was a waste of lumber, but he knew that if Barabbas was released, he would inflict pain upon us. There was no way for him to lose.”

“But it doesn’t sound like you died a broken man.”

“I didn’t, but I still didn’t expect to become a hero to million souls within minutes after an excruciating death. All I remember is my legs being broken, and then I was scooped into Jesus’ arms, ascending to heaven amidst a raging storm. When we got to heaven, I will admit to still being disoriented. To tell the truth, I don’t think Jesus or I had fully recovered from the blood loss and crucifixion pain before the angels stuck the golden cross in my arms and told me to march down to Limbo in order to free the souls so we could all obtain paradise.”

“You must have felt cheated. Nobody said you would need to forego paradise for a time for the greater good.” Severus lowered his voice at the last two words.

“Honestly, I was more than happy to do it when I realized Gestas was down there and I could save him.”

“Did someone tell you that?”

“Not in as many words, but when they mentioned saving souls, well, I knew I could help him since he hadn't come up with me. He may have run his mouth off about things, and he wasn’t always the smartest person, but he was a great friend to me. Then again,” Dismas sagged. “I was his co-murderer, so perhaps my views are distorted.”

“You are more perceptive than many spirits give you credit for,” Severus replied. “If you say he was a great friend despite his shortcomings, then I believe you.”

“Thank you,” Dismas’ expression was distant. “It didn’t take long to find him. He was near the gates of Dis, just staring into space. I told him to acknowledge his wrongdoings and join me, but he was still in shock over the whole ordeal. I was pleading with him, begging him as I struck demons with the cross and directed souls to heaven. He was too paralyzed by his own inadequacies to move.”

“I understand what it is like to be crushed by inadequacies, but I can safely say I would have moved. Why did he not?”

“I think the full weight of everything he’d done came crashing on him, and he felt unworthy. I mean, he wasn’t seeing the Redeemer you saw at your trial, but a fully glorified, divine being. It must have been overwhelming.”

“There’s a difference between what I saw and who the Redeemer is?”

“He takes many forms. Gestas first met him as a beaten man, but to see the Redeemer in his true glory, to see the Trinity as they are…” Dismas’ glow was bright as the morning star. “It is an experience, that is for sure. There is such peace, such love radiating from that light the Trinity emits. It is something you must experience to fully understand.”

“And Gestas couldn’t handle that.”

“No, he could not.” Dismas’ glow was nearly extinguished. “I pleaded with him, begged him, as I crushed the demons and directed everyone out. The crowd of souls was thinning out. I knew I needed to leave. I couldn’t stay there. When I saw the Redeemer approach, I knew if I stayed, I risked being there forever. I gave Gestas one last look, followed the souls, and entered paradise.”

“I’ll bet it didn’t feel like you’d entered paradise at the time.”

“The feeling of peace was instant, as was the feeling that I was where I needed to be. I’ve never doubted that I made the right decision in leaving Dis, but it came with a cost.”

“Everything comes with a cost.”

“Indeed it does.”

Severus wondered if Dismas wished he could’ve cried. The only time anyone had ever given him that expression was when tears were streaming down their eyes, or if they were too numb to weep.

“Barabbas died four years later,” Dismas continued. “He’d watched our crucifixions from the distance with a group of weeping women. Apparently he never recovered from the trauma. He got into a bar fight and was stabbed in the heart. Death seemed to come as a relief to him, as did seeing me.”

“Yet he chose hell too.”

“More or less.”

“Was he damned?”

“No, but he made it clear he wasn’t going to heaven.”

“Why?” Severus asked.

“I was at his trial, and Nergal was the prosecutor. The list of crimes was extensive, as to be expected, but when we were in the waiting room Barabbas asked me where Gestas was. I explained everything, while telling him how amazing heaven was.” Dismas’ glow was almost nonexistent. “He told me that I sounded happier than Gestas, and that I could take care of myself.”

“So he abandoned you?”

“I wouldn’t call it abandonment per se. He went where he felt he was needed, even though I told him together we could get Gestas out of hell. If he saw how happy we were, if he understood that peace would be his if he would cry out and repent, he would do it.”

“But Barabbas refused to listen.”

“He looked me in the eye, gave me a pat on the back, told me to take care of everyone up there, and asked me to never forget him. Then he told the Trinity he didn't care what the verdict was, he wanted damnation. They told him they would not force him into heaven, and told him how to free himself from damnation. Belial came, put him on a train, and he was gone,” the last words were a whisper. “Just gone.”

“Why do you stay in heaven if you can’t be with them?”

“Because peace and eudaimonia are worth having. I cannot give them up for anyone. Otherwise, I would be saying they were worthless,” Dismas’ yellow glow crackled from his essence. “If I went to hell knowing what I do about heaven, I would resent them for costing me my peace. It’s better for everyone if I stay here and say their name a few times a year, hoping they can hear me and experience the peace and joy I have. Perhaps if they get a sense of what it's like up here, they’ll reach for it and come.”

“What if they never come?”

“Never is a long time,” Dismas’ glow was azure. “There’s more than enough time for them to join me, or so I pray every time the Trinity fuses.”

Severus nodded.

“I know heaven seems like Purgatory when you’re alone, and nobody up there will ever replace your loved ones, but it is valuable. That much, I can promise you.”

“I will keep your words in mind,” Severus promised.

Silence fell between them once more.

“Well,” Dismas’ lips curled up as he turned to the night sky. “Shall we find some more constellations? There were a few I meant to introduce you to that I never got around to pointing out.”

“Why did you repent?”

Dismas returned his attention to Severus.

“Luke only mentions that you repented, but never explains why. What spurred you to repent if nobody around you did so?”

“I needed forgiveness.”

Severus twisted his lower lips.

“When I was in custody, I understood how my victims felt when I was standing over them with a sword. As they nailed me to the cross, I understood the pain I’d inflicted as I robbed them. Being powerful and rich had led me nowhere, but if the person beside me could forgive his executioners, perhaps he could forgive me.” Dismas shook his head. “I just wish Gestas hadn’t run off his mouth. He would’ve accepted forgiveness if he could’ve kept his mouth shut as he was dying.”

“Perhaps.”

Silence fell between the spirits, the song having long since ended.

“If you ever need a friend in heaven, once I get there,” Severus began. “I would love to see you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Dismas smiled. “I’ll extend the same offer to you as well.”

Severus’s expression and glow mirrored that of the saint’s.

They had each gained a new best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I'll be able to post over the next couple of days. I had time now though, so I figured this would be an early Christmas gift.
> 
> If I don't post between now and the end of the week, Merry Christmas! Even if you don't celebrate it, I hope your day is full of love and joy!


	99. Chapter 99

Metatron understood the fuss over this mortal.

Unlike other mortals who did the bare minimum to help angels, Hermione insisted on finding him the best bottle of tequila galleons could buy. Granted this was because in her words, Metatron had so royally screwed up he would need more than a fifteen sickle bottle to atone for his wrongdoing. Might she suggest Clase AzulReposado?

Sounded good all things considered, until the issue of price came up.

“Are you certain you want to spend that much on that?” Metatron’s eyes were huge. No cheap bar would carry this.

“I’m going to give you the best chance possible of winning her back,” Hermione reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of galleons. “Otherwise, there’s no point in buying anything.”

“Yes, but this bottle may be too much.” Especially if I don’t know whether or not this is going to go right through Theresa.

“Don’t worry about it. I can pay for it.”

“Are you certain you want to?”

“Of course, I’m in a charitable mood.” She slid the galleons to the clerk, who in turn opened the stainless steel register.

“You certainly are,” the archangel muttered.

“Now,” Hermione took her change from the clerk. “Your girlfriend may enjoy drinking it straight, but she may also appreciate a few cocktails.”

“What kinds of cocktails?” Metatron asked. Cocktails were too fruity for him to bother with, but Theresa may feel differently.

“I don’t know.”

The clerk handed Hermione a paper bag containing the bottle and a glass which read, “Angel’s Envy. ”

She took the bag and turned to the clerk. “Thank you very much.”

“My pleasure.” The clerk gave her a grin.

“What kinds of flavors does your girlfriend like?” She handed Metatron the bag and led him out of the store.

“She’s just a friend, not a girlfriend.” He frowned.

“You’re going through all this trouble for someone who is just a friend?” She raised an eyebrow.

“It’s,” Metatron squirmed. “It’s an odd friendship.”

“Sure,” She drawled as they strolled down the street.

The archangel gave her the most no-nonsense expression he could.

“Back to the topic at hand, what flavors does she like?” The mortal was unfazed by his expression. Usually when a mortal was so cavalier it was pride, but this wasn’t the case for her. It was as if she'd learned not to be intimidated by that expression through experience. She was an odd mortal indeed.

“I honestly do not know.”

“Well, what kinds of food does she like?”

“I suppose she likes dry bread and wine.”

“Dry bread and wine?”

Metatron nodded. “She lived a very simple lifestyle and often abstains from frivolities.”

“So simple she wants tequila?”

“Let’s just say her fortunes have changed since we’ve met.”

Hermione stopped and stared at him. Metatron wondered if she was piecing together who he was. If she was onto him then he was impressed. Not many mortals could detect spiritual beings. Then again, most mortals didn’t fuse with spirits. Such a curious case.

“Thankfully, most cocktails don’t taste like dry bread, and I don’t know why you’d ever want a tequila to taste like a wine, but if you need inspiration,” her eyes lit up. “I have a new book that just came in.”

“A book?”

“Yes.” She smiled. “There’s a book which has cocktail recipes from all over the world. I’m certain they have a section on tequila.”

“I suppose brushing up on cocktail ideas couldn’t hurt.”

“It may help you when you plead your case before her,” she picked up her pace.

“Are you sure she won’t just like it straight?”

“Perhaps, but some variety helps. When I first had tequila straight I thought it was atrocious, but when I had a tequila sunrise, I began to have an appreciation for it.”

“If we get cocktail makings, then you’ll have to spend more money.”

“No, you’ll spend the money because you know what your lady friend likes better than I do. I will help you get the book though.”

“Sure.”

“You’re in luck,” She turned down the street. “I own a bookstore.”

“You do?” He hoped he sounded surprised.

“I do, and it’s quite profitable despite my stepping away from it at times.”

“Why would you step away from it?”

“To do research.”

“Research and running a business?” Metatron hummed. “My my, aren’t you accomplished.”

"I guess you could call it that." She shrugged.

"I believe I just did."

She blushed.

"So which do you prefer, research or the bookstore?"

"It depends on my mood."

The angel stared at her.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love research, but when I can help connect someone to the right book and use it to solve a problem well, there’s nothing like it.”

“Is that why you’re helping me, to feel better about life?”

“No.” She stopped and exhaled. Her voice was softer. “I’m helping you because I cannot help myself at the moment.”

“What do you need help with?” Metatron drew closer to her.

“I,” she brushed him off. “Never mind.”

“No, you can tell me,” Metatron replied. “I did promise to help pay you back for all this. I do not break promises.”

“I’m afraid there isn’t much anyone can do about my problems.”

“Try me. You’d be surprised what I can accomplish.”

“How did you meet your lady friend?” The grin returned to Hermione’s face.

“Deflecting I see…”

“I’m helping you win her back.” She resumed strolling at a slower pace. “The least you can do is tell me how you two met.”

“True,” Metatron twisted his lower lip. “We met through my boss. She was quite close to my boss. They used to communicate quite a bit.”

“So did you see her at your office?”

“No.” Meatron’s expression was wistful. “My boss couldn’t be with her the way she wanted, so I was sent to relay a message, at least that’s how it started.”

“What was the message, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Just that she was loved and she needed to share that love with others. There were a few other aspects, but that was the main gist of it.”

“Your boss sent a third party to tell her she was loved?”

“That’s actually quite common for my boss.”

“In other words, your boss plays the field.”

“No, my boss’ nature is to love, and that love was to be sent to her via me.”

“Then what happened?”

“I started talking to her, and I found her to be different than anyone else I’d met. She was sassy and wasn’t afraid to tell me where to stick it. At times, she could be quite wild, and at others vexing.” Metatron’s lips curled up. “But she has a pure heart. When she loves, she loves deeply. She’s as smart as anyone I’ve ever met too.We can talk for ages about almost anything. She is the one person who can relax me when I've had a rough day, and the one reason I am not a complete workaholic.”

"I take it your were once a workaholic."

"I take my job extremely seriously, sometimes too seriously." His expression was wistful. "She accepts that though, and has shown me there's more to existence than work."

“So you began to love her.”

“I,” he stopped. “Yes, I did.”

She put a hand on his shoulder.

“I started seeing her even when my boss didn’t send me. We were never together as much as I wanted, but I knew if I waited we could find a more permanent arrangement. When she could finally live where I did,” he paused. “I suppose I should’ve made it clear that I was the happiest being in existence that day. For years I’d been meaning to tell her that, but I always found an excuse not to.”

“I’m sure she was just as happy to be with you.” Hermione squeezed his shoulder. “I know when I can live with my lover I’ll be just as happy.”

“I have a feeling you’ll be with him soon enough.” If Metatron could’ve glowed, he would have been bright yellow.

One long, comfortable moment passed between them. Then, Hermione cleared her throat and pointed upwards. “Here’s my bookstore.”

Metatron glanced up. _Paradisio Books._ The name was more fitting than she realized.

“The book I have in mind should be in the front, though it could be sold out. There were only two copies when I left,” she opened the door. “If they sold out, I have a few in the back.”

“You are too kind,” Metatron began.

“And I’m telling you that your boss is in the looney bin!”

Metatron watched the color drain from Hermione’s face.

“She is nuts, and she’s going to lose the store. Why? Because she couldn’t find a real man!”

“Tell me,” the clerk pointed to Hermione. “Is the mental institution in the doorway now?”

The man at the counter turned to them, his eyes growing.

“What are you doing here, Cormac?” Hermione’s voice was weak, and void of any of her previous enthusiasm.

“I came to check on Beatrice.” He rubbed his eyes. “I figured she’d be distraught after what Harry told me.”

“Did Harry say anything to you directly, or were you spying on him?” Beatrice asked.

“He told me everything about your little trip to Crazy Town.” His expression was that of a prideful soul just before the archangel began his case. If only Cormac were standing trial at that moment... 

“Does using extendable ears count as telling someone something?" 

"It's close enough."

Some of the tension left Hermione’s muscles.

“Regardless of how I found out,” Cormac approached Hermione. “You were nuts to turn me down. Now I understand why.”

She backed towards the door.

“I can’t believe I ever wanted you. Of all the dead people you could’ve conjured up, you chose Severus Snape?”

Hermione gulped.

“Step away from her.” Metatron positioned himself between Cormac and Hermione.

“Who are you?” Cormac spat.

“Someone you should consider your actions around.” Metatron stood up as straight as he could, thankful he could make himself a couple of inches taller than the creep.

“What are you, her bodyguard?” Cormac snapped.

“No, I’m just someone who cares,” Metatron’s voice deepened. “Very deeply I might add.”

“Look, I don’t know what she’s told you, but she’s a nut job who leads men on. First she acts like she wanted me, and then she leaves.”

“I would take the hint and leave her store then, but not until after apologizing for your atrocious behavior.”

“Don’t tell me you’re standing up for her now.”

“Either apologize to her and leave, or the consequences will be dire.”

“What are you going to do, tell me to leave nicely and glare at me on my way out?”

“If I must.” Metatron folded his arms over his chest.

“I don’t know who you are, but you shouldn’t talk to me like this. I am the second in line to become the Chief Warlock.”

“That means nothing to me.”

“Well it should! If you lay one hand on me….”

“You will do nothing to me.”

“Wanna bet? I’ll have aurors storming your place so fast your head will spin.”

“He told you to leave!” Hermione snapped as she stepped beside Metatron. “Leave now or I will call someone to have you escorted out.”

“Who is going to listen to you and do what you want them to do?”

“I can escort you out,” Beatrice offered.

“And I will help,” Metatron added.

Cormac’s eyes darted between Metatron and Hermione, as if sizing them up.

“Get out or I will escort you out personally,” Hermione snapped.

With a huff, Cormac stomped to the door.

“Would you like to apologize and repent of your actions?” Metatron demanded.

“Why would I do that?” Cormac held open the door. “She deserved everything she got.”

“Then your fate is your own,” Metatron warned.

Cormac huffed before storming down the street.

“I’m so sorry about that.” Hermione took a shaky breath as the door slammed behind her. “But thank you so much for helping.”

“No need to thank me,” Metatron replied. “For all my faults, I try to fight for righteousness.”

“Indeed,” Beatrice drawled.

“Enough about Cormac,” Hermione relaxed. “Let me find your book so you can go about winning your girlfriend back.”

“Yes, let’s,” Metatron’s expression lightened.

He knew how he was going to repay his debt to Hermione.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	100. Chapter 100

Severus had never been so relieved to have Hermione in his arms. He grew closer to her chest, wishing he could feel her body against his instead of only sensing her essence. At least she was in her house, safe with him.

It was as close to heaven as he'd ever been.

“You were right about Harry,” Tears fell through his essence onto the kitchen floor. “He thought I was crazy and almost institutionalized me!”

“I am so sorry,” Severus whispered as he brushed his hands atop her hair. 

“I should have listened to you and not seen him. It would have been so much better for all of us if I’d just told him I was too busy for lunch.”

“I wish things had gone differently for you, I truly do.”

“I know,” she squeaked.

For what seemed like hours, Hermione sobbed and shook in his arms.

“Was that the only thing that happened today?” Severus asked.

“Well,” she wiped her face and sniffed. "You'll probably wonder if I've gone around the bend if I tell you this."

"I would never think of you that way."

“Fine," she took a deep breath. "I don't know if I did this because I was upset or because I felt sympathy for him, but I bought an expensive bottle of tequila for a man in a red suit.”

“You did?” Severus’ glow was white.

“Yes,” Hermione managed to grin. “He was a strange man. I believe his name was Michael Enoch. Anyway he needed to buy some tequila and a glass for his girlfriend.”

Severus’ glow brightened as he said a silent prayer of thanks to the Trinity that Dismas was right about the reason for Metatron’s visit.

“He was such an odd man, with such an odd story about his girlfriend. Then again,” She chuckled. “Nothing about this afternoon has been normal.”

“Did Mr. Enoch hurt you?”

“Of course not. Why would you think he would?”

“You must admit it isn’t every day when someone asks you for a bottle of tequila.”

“True.” She backed away from him. “But he was a perfect gentleman, though the boss he works for sounds bizarre.”

“His boss is one of the most puzzling beings I've met.”

"Wait, you know his boss?"

"I've had my dealings with them."

“How would you know who his boss is, unless...” She tilted her head. “Were you able to follow me?”

Severus stared at her. There was no real reason for her to know about her heavenly visitor. Then again, it didn’t seem fair to keep such a secret from her. 

“What aren’t you telling me?” Her voice was lower.

“That man’s name was not Michael Enoch. In fact, he wasn’t a man at all.”

Hermione blinked.

“His name is Metatron,” Severus continued.

"Who's that?"

“He is the archangel who tried to get the program pulled.”

“He's that Metatron?”

“Yes.”

“As in the prosecutor?”

“Yes.”

She put a hand over her mouth as her eyes doubled in size.

“I am glad you seemed to escape from the encounter relatively unscathed," he continued. "If he had done anything to you I never would've forgiven myself."

“No, he was wonderful, though that whole boss who loves everyone story makes more sense.”

“Why was he talking about his boss?” Severus became a light red. “He did not threaten to report you to them, did he?”

“No,” her eyes glistened. “I asked him how he met his girlfriend. He gave me a sweet story about his loving boss introducing them, but that’s for another time.”

“Indeed,” Severus' glow returned to normal. “I don’t know why he selected you to help him obtain a bottle of tequila…”

“But this could be the best thing to happen to us all week!”

He closed his mouth.

“Don’t you see?” She clasped her hands together. “I helped Metatron. He said he’d pay me back somehow.”

“He claimed to be in debt to you?”

“Yes, and he said he’d pay me back.”

“How?”

“He never said, but if he really wants to pay me back, then he’ll let this program run indefinitely!”

“That would be pleasant.” Severus’ glow grew duller, “But I’m not sure if that is possible.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t have the power to keep the program going.”

“But if he puts a word in a good word for the Trinity…”

“They could override him.”

“Metatron himself said his boss was love. If they’re willing to let an angel fall in love with a mortal, then they have to be okay with this!”

“I would hope so.”

“I know so,” she drew closer to her. “As long as the Trinity accepts our love, then who cares what anyone else thinks?”

“I do not.”

“Neither do I,” her eyes glistened. “I couldn’t care less what people such as Harry think. As long as I’m with you, I’m fine.”

“You don’t care what Potter thinks?” Severus’ glow flickered.

“No,” she answered. “I don’t care what he thinks. In fact, it may take quite some time before I ever speak with him again, assuming I ever do.”

“Are you thinking of cutting all contact with him?”

“The thought has crossed my mind several times, and I will admit it's attractive at the moment.”

If there was onecurse in the afterlife, it was that one never forgot a thing. Every memory of the Golden trio came to mind with complete clarity. He remembered all the trouble Potter and Hermione found themselves in, and all the times she had bailed him out. Then, he remembered how they escaped into the Forest of Dean together. Even after Ron abandoned him, Hermione remained at Potter’s side.

Would giving up that close friendship lead her closer to eudaimonia, or would it create the emotional dependency upon him Metatron had warned against?

“I still cannot believe Harry would turn on me as he did! He had no right to take me away to a therapist’s office! No right whatsoever.”

“He was trying to help.” Severus’ glow was a light blue.

“I know he thought he was, but,” the tears returned to her eyes. “He hurt me more than he could’ve imagined.”

“I know he did, but,” Severus’ glow darkened. “I would not want you to throw away such a deep friendship for me.”

“Don’t you understand,” she took his hands. “You’re worth it.”

“I know you feel that way,” Severus squeezed her hands. “But my goal is to help you discover eudaimonia, not destroy all your existing friendships.”

“You aren’t keeping me from my friends.”

“Is Potter not your friend?”

“I thought he was, but I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Are you certain of that?”

“I am becoming more certain of that,” her voice was stronger. “I cannot fathom how anyone could do what he did to me, especially one who claimed to be my friend.”

“In his mind, was he acting in your best interests, or was he being malicious for the sake of it?”

“I’m sure he thought he was acting in my best interests.”

“Then in his own bizarre Potter way, he was being your friend.”

“You, you aren’t taking his side are you?” She moistened her drying lips.

“No,” Severus’ glow brightened. “I simply don’t want you to spend a decade in Purgatory for wrath as Lily did.”

She cocked her head.

“What I did to Lily was malicious, and she had every right to end our friendship. Still, she refused to forgive me, which delayed her entry into heaven.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying.” He brushed his thumbs against the back of her hands. “I don’t want you to spend more time in Purgatory away from me because you’re upset with Potter.”

“What he did was inexcusable!” She removed her hands from his.

“Perhaps, but until this point you have had an excellent friendship, even if it did cause me a few headaches."

Her lips twitched upwards.

“You should not be giving up your life and your friends for me,” Severus’ glow returned to its usual hue. “Perhaps that was what Metatron was concerned with; that you would become isolated from the living and focus more on the dead.”

“No, your love has helped me. Can’t you see that?”

“I know that, but there are certain facts we must acknowledge,” he replied. “I cannot go outside this house, nor can I directly interact with your friends. You cannot take me to a Ministry Ball, allow me to tour your bookstore, or attend a conference with you.”

“We don’t need to do those things.”

“Life could easily pass your by if we remain like this,” he warned as he turned dark blue again.

“I don’t care. We will find a way around this.”

Severus looked down.

“We will get through this together. I know we will!”

“That may not be in your best interests.” He raised his head.

“What do you want me to do?” Hermione threw up her hands. “I’ve found happiness and the love I’ve always wanted. Now it’s unhealthy for me?”

“I wish things were different,” his voice was soft. “I truly do.”

“Are you going to leave me because you think that’s what’s best for me?”

“Never.”

She stared at him, trying to discern how honest he was.

“I promise to never abandon you, and I will come as often as the Trinity allows me to,” he promised. “We must be aware, though, that they could share the concerns I do, along with some additional ones only they can discern. If they do not feel as though those concerns are being addressed,” he didn’t dare finish the sentence.

“The Trinity is love! They have to accept us!”

“Friendship is love too. They will defend that along with romance.”

“True.” She sagged.

“Do you honestly want to lose your friendship with Harry over this?”

“I want him to get over his pain and see the truth.”

“If he did, would you want to sacrifice him and any other friends you could have for me?”

She exhaled.

“I don’t want to hold you back from your life,” Severus replied. “Love should help you live your life, not inhibit you from living it to the fullest.”

“Please don’t go,” she whispered. “Please let me figure out a way to make this work.”

“We will find a way to get through this, regardless of what forms we take.”

“Do you promise that no matter what happens, we will remain with each other?”

“Only if you’ll promise me the same.”

“I promise.”

“Then I promise too.”

Once again they embraced, terrified of what the future had to offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support over the last 100 chapters! It is very deeply appreciated!


	101. Chapter 101

Harry shifted his peas from one end of his porcelain plate to the other, mixing them with his half eaten mashed potatoes. A few times he glanced at his red meatballs. His stomach was too knotted to so much as think about eating, regardless of how well Luna cooked her meals.

“Did something happen at work today?” Luna set her fork atop her empty plate.

“Work was fine, I suppose,” Harry muttered.

“You suppose?”

Harry exhaled.

From the blue padded playpen to Luna’s right, James began to fuss. She picked him up and whispered, “You don’t like being ignored, do you?”

James’ whimpers confirmed her suspicions.

“That’s fine baby.” She kissed his cheek. “You have all my attention now.”

James grinned.

“I,” Harry swallowed. “I may have done something stupid today.”

“Oh?” Luna asked as James gurgled.

“Do you remember Hermione’s delusions?” Harry began.

“I remember that she finally had the courage to tell you that she’s been seeing Severus Snape.”

“Finally had the courage?”

Luna nodded.

“How, how long have you know she was seeing Snape?”

“About four months now.”

James fell silent.

“You’ve known for four months and you didn’t tell me?” Harry asked, his expression impassive.

“It wasn’t my truth to tell,” she answered.

“What do you mean?”

“Those visions were her own, not mine. Even if I knew she was having them, I had no right to speak about them.”

“So you did nothing?” His eye twitched. 

“I waited until she felt ready to tell you, and hoped with time you would have a heart open to receiving the truth.”

“What truth?” He sat up straighter and raised his voice.

James whined.

“The truth that she is in love with Severus Snape,” Luna replied in an even tone, “And that he is in love with her.”

“That’s under debate.”

“No it isn’t, and you know it.”

Harry’s frown deepened.

“For years you worried about Hermione being alone. We expressed our concerns before we had James. Why is her being in a relationship a problem now?”

“She is in a,” Harry made scare quotes, “‘relationship’ with a dead man.”

“Physically he is dead, but as you can see, his spirit is alive.”

"Yes, his spirit is so alive only Hermione can see him."

"You could sense him if you opened yourself to him."

"I'm open just fine to Snape's spirit."

"Are you?"

"Let me ask you something," Harry furrowed his eyebrows. “In all the times she talked to you, did you ever think there was even the slightest chance that she was crazy?”

“No,” Luna’s expression softened. “But you did.”

“I still do. But,” Harry sagged. “I probably shouldn’t have acted on that belief.”

“What did you do?” Luna rubbed her son’s back.

“I,” he gulped. “I took Hermione to Dr. Lum today.”

Luna blinked.

“She needs help. I thought she could help her.”

“Where is Hermione now?” Luna's voice was low and slow. 

“At home.” Harry shook his head. “Dr. Lum said she couldn’t find anything wrong with her. She said at best it was a harmless delusion, and at worst…”

Luna kept her gentle gaze upon him.

“At worst she was telling the truth, and I allowed my own psychological issues to get in the way of healing,” Harry lowered his head.

“Which do you believe?” Luna's voice was gentle. 

“What do you mean?” He turned his gaze to her.

“I mean.” Luna adjusted a squirming James so he was facing his father. “Do you believe she’s crazy, or are you afraid of reconciling with Professor Snape?”

“Why would I be afraid of reconciling with Snape?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Because you did not leave on the nicest of terms.”

“But I made my peace with him.”

“How?”

“You know how it happened,” Harry shrugged. “I had him declared a hero, defended him against his detractors, got his portrait hung, and tried to correct the lies Rita told. I let the Wizarding World know who he was. What more could I do?”

“You could make peace with the fact that you watched him die.”

“I am at peace with it,” Harry’s throat constricted. “I mean, lots of people died in the war. Why would I single his death out in my mind?”

“He wanted to look into your eyes as he died.”

“He did it because he loved my mother.” Harry turned red. “That’s another thing! He loved her, and now Hermione is claiming he moved on with her! What right does she have to claim he moved on!”

James gasped. Daddy was rarely this loud. What was happening?

“Doesn’t he have a right to move on?” Luna asked.

“He did everything out of love for my mother! How could he move on with a former student of all people?”

"Is that all Hermione is to you now, just one of Professor Snape's former students?"

"Of course not, but this whole thing is weird. It's just weird to think he's moved on from my mother with Hermione!"

“Most people move on from broken relationships, even if it takes years. One needs to let go of unhealthy attachments in order to have a good life.”

“Not Snape. Snape can’t move on.”

“Why?”

“Because,” He huffed. “He just can’t.”

“Let me ask you something.” She rubbed her baby’s back. “Do you really want Severus Snape to spend the rest of his existence mooning over your mother?”

“I thought that’s what he’d do regardless of what anyone wanted.”

“Don’t you think it would be awkward if your parents reunited in heaven, and he was still in love with your mother? What is he supposed to do while they spend eternity together, just sit and stare at them in the background?”

“I mean.” He shuddered. “When you put it that way, it is disturbing, and a bit depressing to think that.”

“It’s very disturbing,” she answered. “Almost as disturbing as finding out your mother wasn’t perfect.”

His eyes grew.

“It was hard enough to have your imagine of a hopelessly romantic Severus Snape shattered, but it must have been more upsetting to discover your mother was not as pure as you thought. Finding out she was wrathful must have come as a shock,” Luna continued.

“She was a good woman.”

“Nobody is disputing that she was a good woman.”

“But she went to Purgatory, which is only for terrible sinners.”

“A soul in Purgatory is saved, just not immediately in heaven. Work needed to be done to help her release her anger towards Snape."

"I thought she was a good enough person to go straight to heaven though."

"She was a good person, but not a perfect one. The Almighty acknowledged that fact and acted on it.”

James cooed, emphasizing his mother’s point.

“I know, but everyone told me how much she loved me, how she died for me…” Harry choked.

“Having faults does not negate her sacrifice. Severus had faults, but he still saved the Wizarding World and made it to Purgatory.”

“He did.” Harry slouched.

“Your mother had a darker side, one which led her to be wrathful. It was taken into account when she died. Her sacrifice did mean something, and she was a good person, but far from a perfect one.”

“Nobody has ever called her wrathful, at least not anyone I've heard,” Harry’s voice cracked.

“I know,” Luna replied. “Which is why it was hard to hear it from Hermione’s mouth.”

“She doesn’t know my mom.”

“No, but you don’t know everything about her either. The one in that room who knew her best was Severus Snape.”

Harry bowed his head.

“I think you knew Hermione wasn’t crazy, but were afraid to admit it to yourself.”

“I saw him die,” Harry looked at his wife. “I watched the blood come out of his wounds, saw him take his last breath. He was dead when I left him there in that shack.”

“Do you wonder if you could have done anything more?”

Harry allowed the tears to flow. His body shook as he let out a wail.

James reached for his dad, hoping to take some of the pain away. Luna walked over to the chair beside Harry and allowed him to lean onto her shoulder.

“I should’ve saved him, Luna,” Harry gasped. “I was so worried about those memories though, and I was still so angry with him. Nobody deserved to die like that though. Nobody!”

"I know," She rubbed his side. “It must have killed you not to save him.”

“I didn’t care that he was dying at the time. I was so angry with him, and I hated him. At times I hated him. I only got his memories because I thought maybe, maybe it could help.”

“You want his forgiveness.”

“Yes," he squeaked. "But I doubt I’ll get it.”

“Why?”

“He probably hates me.” Harry sniffed. “Especially after what I did to Hermione.”

“You made a stupid decision out of love for a friend.” Luna replied. “Severus could relate to that.”

“He could?”

Luna gave him a soft smile and nodded.

“Maybe, but,” Harry dried his eyes. “Hermione probably hates me.”

“No doubt she is angry with you, but hate is a strong word.”

“I almost got her institutionalized.”

“You tried to help her, even if your attempts were misguided.”

“I was supposed to trust and support her.”

“You were acting out of fear and friendship. When she calms down, she will understand that.”

“Do you think so?” Harry croaked.

“I know so,” Luna answered.

Harry relaxed.

“Once everyone calms down, I think you’ll have an invaluable opportunity to make peace with everything that's happened.”

Harry cocked his head as James reached for him again.

“Severus has a unique perspective on your mother.” She handed his son to him. “At first I thought Severus may over idealize Lily, so it wasn't advisable to speak to him about her. Now, I think you can start to see her as a person. If you ask the right questions, you’ll really get to know her.”

“Hermione and Severus won’t want to speak with me.” Harry held his son close.

“Hermione will calm down,” Luna promised. “And once she does, she will encourage Severus to speak with you so you can both find peace.”

“I just wish I could’ve done more, that I’d understood everything while he was alive.”

“He kept things from you to protect everyone, but now you’re an adult and know everything. Now is the time for a real reconciliation, if you’ll both get out of your own way.”

“And you really think that’s possible.”

“I know it’s possible.”

“Eh,” James muttered, agreeing with his mother.

“You haven’t led me astray yet, and you are a brilliant woman.” Harry looked down at his son. “You have an amazing and brilliant mother. You know that?”

James made a happy cluck.

“I love you little guy.” He kissed James on the forehead. “Just like I love your mother.”

“We love you too,” Luna answered.

“I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“I don’t want to think of where I’d be without you either.”

Harry hummed and rested his head on Luna’s shoulder, saying a silent prayer that reconciliation with Severus and Hermione wasn’t out of reach.

***

Sirius still couldn’t understand Aristotle’s _Physics._

Perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised. Hogwarts wasn’t known for its outstanding science program. Of course something told him that hyle wasn’t taught in most muggle science books. Why was this book called _Physics_ again?

“Where is your companion?”

Sirius dropped the book as his glow went pure white.

“I need to speak with him.” Metatron continued, his expression hard as steel. “You are both needed to help me tend to some important business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I don't post for the next few days, Happy New Year's! May the new year be full of joy and peace! 
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	102. Chapter 102

The last thing Severus expected to see was Metatron standing beside the right armrest of the sofa. Sirius sat on the other side, his glow flickering like a birthday candle which had been blown on twice.

Severus’ glow went white as he opened his mouth.

“So glad you are finally here,” Metatron turned to him with a gleam in his eyes Severus instinctively to be wary of. “We have things to discuss.”

“Dismas!” Severus shouted.

“Dismas isn’t coming,” Metatron began.

“Dismas!”

“He isn’t coming,” Metatron’s frown deepened. “He knows he can’t interfere with this.”

“Dismas!”

“He isn’t coming.”

“Why?” Severus' glow was arrhythmic. 

“He isn't going to interrupt official angel business,” the archangel’s voice lowered.

Severus opened his mouth.

“And the Trinity will let him know this is official angel business, so his chances as interfering are nil.”

“How the hell is you interfering with the program ‘official angel business?’”

From the look in Sirius’ eyes, it was clear he would’ve liked an answer to that as well, but was much too afraid to ask.

“Because I’m not here about the program.” Metatron twitched his left wing. “Actually, my purpose tangentially relates to the program, but not in the way you think.”

“Dismas!”

“Would you stop calling for him?” Metatron approached Severus. “I’m not trying to shut the program down, so there’s no reason for him to come.”

“If you aren’t here about the program then why are you here?” 

“I need your help with a mission.”

“What kind of mission?” Sirius sat up straighter.

“It wouldn’t pertain to Hermione, would it?” Severus asked.

Sirius went red. “So help me if you hurt Hermione…”

“Relax, he did not hurt Hermione” Severus’ lips curled upwards. “In fact, he owes her a favor.”

“He does?” Sirius glow returned to its usual hue.

“Yes, apparently despite our worst fears, he and Hermione had quite a pleasant interaction. According to her, she helped him with his tequila mission.”

"Tequila mission?"

"His girlfriend wanted tequila, so he was forced to go down and get some."

Sirius gave Metatron a sideways glance.

“Indeed, I am indebted to your lover for her help,” Metatron admitted.

Sirius' glow brightened. "You may have to keep the program running indefinitely if you owe her a favor!”

Metatron raised an eyebrow.

“If you owe Hermione a favor, she wants to remain with Severus more than anything,” Sirius continued. “You have to make sure they remain together now!”

“She would appreciate that,” Severus concurred.

“Sadly I do not have the power to do that,” Metatron replied. “Only the Trinity does.”

“Are you just saying that because you can’t do it, or because you won’t?” Severus was red.

“I am not the Trinity, nor will I ever presume to take on the role they do.”

“Which is why you visited me once Severus and Hermione fused,” Sirius cut in.

“That did seem rather presumptuous for someone who did not want to take the place of the Trinity,” Severus noted.

“Admittedly, threatening Black was not one of my wiser moves.” Metatron scowled. “But that is hardly relevant to my current mission.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because while Hermione was helping me obtain a book, she was rudely accosted by Mr. Cormac McLaggen.”

The humor evaporated from the spirits’ expressions.

“It appears you two are familiar with him.”

“You could say that,” Severus’ glow was a brighter red.

“Good, that means I can cut to the chase.” Metatron unfurled his wings. “It is a grievous sin to behave immorally before an angel.”

“It is?” Sirius’ glow was a bright yellow.

“Indeed it is. Just look what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah.”

“That was real?” Severus asked.

“A few of the details may have been changed, but the story of someone sinning in front of an angel and having their city destroyed is true enough.”

“What is the true story?” Severus asked.

“You needn’t be concerned with it,” Metatron gave them a pointed look.

Sirius opened his mouth to question him, but thought better of asking anything.

“Anyway, I discussed the issue with the Trinity. They agree that Mr. McLaggen has had his chances to repent of his harassing behavior, and that I warned him a sufficient amount of times to choose a different course of action. Alas, nothing worked.”

“So are we going to haunt him?” Sirius asked.

“Not exactly,” Metatron replied. “He is beyond a simple haunting now.”

“Then what do you plan to do?” Severus asked.

“You two are going to appear and give him one last chance to repent. If he still refuses, then,” Metatron’s glow intensified. “He’s in my hands.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sirius asked.

“It means that when you see a fiery wheel, you must turn away. Cover your eyes as best you can. Do not look up until it gets silent.”

“What happens if we do look up?”

“Did you read what happened to Lot’s wife?”

Sirius shook his head.

“She became a pillar of salt,” Severus cut in. “Will that be our fate if we look at you?”

“Not necessarily, but you may wish you were.”

Severus and Sirius gave each other nervous glances.

“Are you willing to help me then?” Metatron asked.

“Will this prevent Mr. McLaggen from ever harassing Hermione again?” Severus asked.

“It will,” Metatron smirked.

“Will you also put in a good word for Hermione and Severus to stay together?” Sirius asked.

“Sadly that it beyond the scope of what the Trinity has allowed me to do.”

“You spoke with the Trinity about this?”

“They were the ones who told me to involve you two.”

Sirius’ eyes grew.

“Are there any more questions, or will you be ready for me this evening?”

“Hermione is expecting me this evening,” Severus replied.

“This won’t take long,” Metatron answered. “Just appear to her, tell her you have heavenly business, and return to her once we’re done.”

“That sounds doable,” Severus replied.

“So, will you two help me, or must I do everything myself?”

“I will help you for Hermione,” Severus replied.

“For Hermione,” Sirius echoed.

Metatron grinned. “For Hermione.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know if I would be able to post today, but I found time so decided to do so. About an hour ago, I found out I was in close contact with someone who tested positive for COVID. I haven't had the opportunity to get tested yet. Because of this, there's a good chance I won't post for the next few days. Still, I will post when I can.
> 
> In the meantime, thank you for all your support! I am so lucky to have all of you as readers! Happy New Year and keep being amazing!


	103. Chapter 103

What was so important that Severus needed to leave for a few hours?

Hermione slouched against the left armrest of her sofa as she stared at the potions journal before her. She had been staring at it for a half hour, yet had not read a word. Her mind replayed Severus’ brief visit. All he said was there were spiritual matters which deserved his attention. He did not look alarmed, and his glow was the usual hue. He seemed at pleased enough with his mission, perhaps too pleased. 

Had she read the situation correctly, or was he using the skills he'd learned as a spy to mislead her?

He would’ve told her if there was a problem, or given her some hint that something was amiss, correct?

She set the book atop the clutter free coffee table and glanced at the half-kneazle across the room.

“He would tell me if something was wrong, right?”

Crookshanks stretched and yawned.

“He didn’t look particularly distressed to you, did he? He seemed fine, right”

Crookshanks yawned and shut his eyes.

“Some help you are,” she muttered before shifting her eyes to her closed journal.

Did talking to a half-kneazle qualify as insane? On the surface it was no less crazy than talking to a spirit, but Severus responded to her, or at least he usually did. Crookshanks was less than interested in her problems. 

Best not to worry about turning into a crazy half-kneazle lady. There may be more important matters to attend to, such as Severus' absence.

Was the Trinity aware of his absence? Would speaking to them alleviate the situation, or were they too involved in running the universe to listen to her? Over the least few months, they had taken more interest in her than she had ever paid to them. So far their attention was positive, but if they were planning on recalling Severus or ending the program…

“Please no,” she held her hands and whispered. “Please don’t take him from me.”

She felt and sensed nothing.

“Please,” she raised her voice. “I’m pleading with you, don’t take Severus from me. You gave him to me, so please don’t take him.”

The fireplace erupted.

“If you are all loving, please, just let him stay with me. I promise, I’ll do whatever you want, just let the program continue.”

“Hermione?”

She unfolded her hands and startled.

“Hermione, are you there?”

She glowered at the ashen face within the fireplace. There was no reason to answer the call. After everything she’d been through, it would be easy to lock herself in her bedroom until the flames died down. She would wait for Severus, and they could spend the night together working through whatever spiritual business he was involved in. This caller could be ignored.

“Hermione?” The voice continued. “Please, I know you don’t want to speak with me, and I deserve it, but please, just answer. I need to tell you something, and please, just answer.”

She stood and turned to the hallway. Then, a thought came to her head.

What if her lack of charity caused the Trinity to rethink the program? Could they recall Severus because she was holding a grudge, one she would not have had he not come into her life? If they believed Severus was causing her to discard her friends, if they thought she was isolating herself, then they could end things in the name of her emotional health. Severus had proposed that as a possibility. What if he was right?

“Hermione?” The voice was weaker.

“Yes, I’m coming, Harry.” She crept to the fireplace.

“Yes, uh hi,” he swallowed. “I, thanks for coming.”

“What do you want?” Her expression could have chilled a wildfire.

“I just wanted to tell you how incredibly sorry I am for everything. I,” she could see a tear in the embers. “I messed up big time. I really messed up, and I’m sorry.”

She tapped her foot and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I should have believed you, and there is no excuse for my actions. I should have listened to you.”

“Yes, you should have,” she snapped.

He gulped.

“After everything we’ve been through, after all we’ve seen and done, how could you not believe me?” She raised her voice. “Did you think I would lie about seeing Severus, or that his mother didn't make it straight to heave?”

“No, but I didn’t want to believe you.”

“Why? Did you think I would lie to you about something so important? Did you think I was a madwoman? Why was I so unbelievable?”

“I didn’t want to think Snape was with you.”

“Why?”

“Because then I’d have to face him!”

“Well, you certainly faced him! He’s furious with you, and so am I." 

“I know you both are, and you have every right to be. I’d be furious with me too. Well, I am furious with myself, but not for the same reasons as you, and probably not as much as you are either.”

“At least you acknowledge that we should be upset,” she huffed. “There’s some progress.”

“I know, and there’s no excuse which is good enough, only explanations.”

She scowled.

“I was scared when you told me you were seeing Severus, so scared I acted stupidly.”

“Were you scared that I was crazy?”

“No, I was scared that he would want to talk to me. Then I was scared of what he’d say.” He took a shaky breath. “I was scared he would judge me, and wouldn’t believe that I was sorry. I was scared he’d only remember how upset I was with him, and would berate me for how I’d wronged him.

“If you wanted to prove you were sorry for the way you treated him, taking me to a psychiatrist and claiming he didn’t exist was the worst way to prove it.”

“It was,” he bowed his head.

“If you were only scared of him judging you, then why did you go so far as to take me to a psychiatrist?”

“I won’t lie, part of me thought you were crazy. If I could prove it to myself, then I could forget everything you’d said and not think about Severus judging me anymore. Then I could think about him loving my mother, and think about her going straight to heaven.”

“You could forget what I said about your mother,” Hermione’s voice was softer. "If you forgot what I said about your mother, you could keep the perfect image of her you had in your mind."

“Yes,” he whispered.

Silence reigned for a few moments.

“It was hard to hear what you said,” Harry’s throat tightened. “I wanted so desperately to believe that my mum was the perfect person everyone said she was. I wanted Severus to be this man who loved so completely that he would sacrifice everything for her always. I wanted to believe their love would never died, stupid as that all sounds. When you challenged those assumptions, I got upset and took it out on you.”

She twisted her lips. The Trinity was the first entity she knew of who claimed that Lily J. Evans Potter wasn’t perfect. Although the former Mrs. Potter was a heroine, she had faults, ones for which they believed she needed to atone. Then there was the myth of Lily. The Wizarding World would be scandalized that she was not a straight shot, and may give up hope of avoiding Purgatory if they knew how stringent the Trinity’s standards were for automatic entry.

“Luna told me Purgatory should were saved, saved souls weren’t damned, and I understand now nobody was claiming she was evil…” Harry began.

“But at the time it must have seemed that way.”

“Yes.”

“I suppose,” She took a deep breath, “I suppose I could have been more tactful when discussing your mother.”

“You were being honest, which is what makes you a true friend.” He gave her a small smile. “I appreciate your honesty. I needed to hear what you said, even if I didn’t want to.”

Her frown remained.

“I know nothing I do can make this up to you, and if you never forgive me I understand. Still,” another tear trickled down his eye. “I wanted you to know that I do regret my actions.”

“You hurt me deeply,” her throat tightened. “I trusted you with something very personal, and you violated that trust.”

“I know,” he squeaked out as he bowed his head.

“It is going to take some time to trust you with something so personal again, if I ever do. That being said,” she swallowed. “I would still like to be your friend.”

“You would,” he glanced up.

“Yes,” she replied. “It will take me some time to recover from all of this, but I would like to find a way to do so.”

“I’ll do anything to prove myself worthy of your trust.”

“You don’t need to do anything right now,” she replied. “Although you should consider finding a way to apologize to Severus, however you are able.”

“Are you with him right now? You could bring him to the floor and we could do it now.”

“He isn’t here right now,” she replied. “But at some point he will return.”

“Do you think I could speak with him sometime?”

“It won’t be anytime soon,” she replied. “We’re all going to need a little time to cool down until we can have a totally rational conversation about this.”

“Probably.”

“If he wants to speak with you though,” She gave him a small grin, “I am willing to act as a medium so to speak.”

“I thought you hated divination.”

“Divination is useless babble. This though.” she sighed. “This is something very different.”

“It is,” Harry admitted.

“That being said, I’ll ask him, and we’ll see where he stands,” she tensed. “Be warned though, he may refuse to speak with you. If he does, I won’t force him to do so.”

“I understand that,” he answered. “If you want I can write him a letter. Perhaps that will be easier, and you won’t need to mediate things.”

“He’ll have to agree to read it though, and that could take some time.”

“I know,” he deflated.

“That being said, I will speak to him on your behalf. Hopefully, we can get something worked out.”

“Yeah, I hope so too,” he mused aloud.

“In the meantime,” she relaxed. “If you want to begin to repair this relationship, I would love a picture of my godson.”

“You’re in luck.” He shifted around. “I took one of him putting his fist in his mouth today.”

“His entire fist?”

“Yep.” Harry raised the picture through the fireplace. “He only got a few fingers in, but I caught him trying to do it again about any hour ago.”

“He’s determined, just like his father.” She took the photo from his hand. Her face lit up as she watched the infant lying in a crib, raising his fist above his head.

“He is,” Harry answered.

Hermione laughed as the baby stuck his fingers in his mouth. The infant grunted as he struggled to stick them in. Then, she glanced at the ashen face of her friend.

The trust she had in him was not as strong as before, but it wasn’t broken beyond repair. There was time to move past this, time she was willing to spend.

A warmth filled her as she wondered if this was the Trinity’s answer to her prayers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It turns out that not only was I exposed to COVID, but I caught it as well. It has been rough these last fews days, and I'm still not 100%. Still, I have energy now so I decided to strike while the iron is hot and post.
> 
> Thank you for all the support! I am blessed to have readers as awesome as you!


	104. Chapter 104

“What do you mean that bitch is publishing a story about me?”

The face in the embers recoiled at the volume of Cormac's voice.

“What gives her the right to write anything about me?”

“I don’t know. I just thought you’d appreciate a warning, just to give yourself some time to make a counter story…”

“Why can’t you do your job and make it impossible for her to publish this nonsense?” The vein in Cormac’s neck was bulging. His face was as red as the ashes in the fireplace.

“I tried, but Cuffe loves the piece. He thinks the paper can do a larger expose on Ministry corruption. It's too good of a story to pass up, especially in light of all the problems the paper is having.”

"The paper wouldn't have problems if they'd do their research and post accurate stories."

"Cuffe thinks this story is accurate enough."

“There's nothing accurate about this. I mean, when did harmless flirting become Ministry corruption?” Cormac took a swig of his whiskey. “Doesn’t anyone understand the concept of playing hard to get?”

“Apparently, Braithwaite didn’t see it as harmless flirting.”

“Does nobody know what wooing a woman is anymore?”

“Apparently not.”

Cormac grounded his teeth together.

“If you want, I can spend the evening digging up dirt on Braithwaite and her niece. With any luck, I can get another article written that shows them as rabid harpies bitter about some wrong done to them.”

“Betty did have that breakup a few months ago.” Cormac scratched his chin as his face began to return to its usual color.

“We can tie this to one of your political enemies, and show it’s nothing more than a smear campaign.”

“I like it.” Cormac grinned as if he was a child who had just stolen the last cookie from the jar. “We can make this work for us.”

“I’ll come over tomorrow at nine and we can brainstorm some ideas.”

“More like blame storm some ideas.”

“Exactly.” The face in the fireplace laughed.

“You’ve been a great help Ares.” Cormac took another sip of his whiskey. “You will run _The Prophet_ the second I become Minister of Magic.”

“Really?”

Cormac nodded.

“Wow! I didn’t even know you were running.”

“I have been contemplating it for awhile, but I think this is the perfect time to begin testing the waters so to speak.”

“You have my vote!”

“I know,” Cormac sneered as he stared into the fireplace, enjoying the warmth of the fire and the high of his political aspirations.

“It is, as always, my pleasure doing business with you,” Ares replied.

“The feeling is very mutual.”

With that, the flames died.

Cormac strutted across the room to his scarlet sofa. He sat atop it and stretched out his legs. There was no need to fear this crisis. He’d find a way to garner the public’s sympathy. After that, the opportunities were endless.

The room grew warm.

Cormac glanced at the ceiling. When all was said and done, he would come out on top, just as he always did. A little thing like crazy, sensitive Hermione wasn't going to stop him.

“Your shoes look nice.”

Cormac’s muscles tensed as the air left his lungs.

“I am impressed with how well-polished they are.”

Cormac’s heart was arrhythmic as his body ran cold. It had been years since he’d heard that voice. Listening to it had never been a pleasant experience. Still, it should have been silenced after the war. That man should no longer be able to speak to anyone...

“Not getting food poisoning helps keeps a good pair of shoes clean.” A pause. “Then again, you’d know all about that, given how awful mine appeared after your little misadventure.”

Cormac right in front of him. His breath left his body.

Even in death, Severus Snape was still wearing black, and his expression was as chilling as ever.

“What’s wrong?” Snape smirked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Cormac blinked before rubbing his eyes. The spirit remained in place.

“Are you afraid you’ve gone mad?” Snape stepped closer to him “Or are you afraid I’m going to beat you over the head with a Champagne bottle again?”

“I vote for the Champagne bottle,” another voice chimed in. “He deserves a good beating after everything he’s put Hermione through.”

Cormac glanced to his left. Another translucent man appeared. Unlike Snape, he was wearing a white robe. His long, luxurious hair was much less greasy than Snape’s, but his expression was just as unfriendly. Had he seen his picture somewhere? Somehow he seemed familiar, but Cormac couldn’t place him.

“You’ve been harassing Hermione for months now,” the other spirit began. “She has pleaded with you to leave her alone, yet you continue to harass her.”

“It ends tonight,” Snape cut in.

“You.” Cormac pointed to Snape. “You’re just an illusion! I just got drunk! Nothing about you is real!”

“You’ve been nursing a double shot over the course of two hours,” the other spirit approached Severus. “That’s hardly drunk.”

“It’s the stress.” Cormac sat up straighter. “I’m just stressed, that’s all.”

“Are you so stressed that you’re seeing ghosts?” Snape grabbed the whiskey shot from his hands. Then, he dumped it on top of him.

Cormac screeched and stared at his now sticky shoes.

“Pity, your shoes were so well-polished.”

“My shoes! My clothes!”

“What’s wrong? Is your magic misfiring?” the other spirit noted.

“It must be,” Snape drawled.

“What do you want?” Cormac demanded.

“We want you to promise never to harass Hermione again,” Snape threw the glass across the room, shattering it.

“I haven’t seen Hermione lately.”

“You were in her store to gloat over how she’d gone mad two days ago.”

“She has gone mad!” Cormac pointed to Severus.

“What makes you think that?”

“For one thing, she’s been seeing you.”

“Aren’t you seeing him too?” The other spirit asked.

“I believe he is,” Snape replied. “Either that, or he loves the sound of his voice so much that he’s taken to monologuing.”

“That could be the case.”

“Listen, there’s no reason to be here,” Cormac argued. "What I did with Hermione was harmless flirting. There’s no need for either of you to get involved.”

“You terrorized her and spiked her Champagne with Amortentia.”

“She,” beads of sweat formed on Cormac’s brow. “I was giving her a push towards me. She needed to lose up, and I was helping her do so. She would've liked it if you hadn't stepped in.”

“You assaulted her.”

“Well,” Cormac snarled. “What would you know about any of this? Nobody ever loved you! You’re just jealous of me.”

“Why would I be jealous of you?”

“Because I have everything.”

Snape raised an eyebrow.

“Look what I have!” Cormac threw up his arms. “I have a mansion, a prestigious career, and women love me. What do you have?”

“Hermione.”

Cormac snorted.

“You need to make an unbreakable vow that you will no longer harass Hermione, either in person or in print. Starting tonight, you will cease all contact with her and not print any libel against her.”

“Why would I make a deal with you? What can you do to me if I break it?”

“Admittedly, he can do nothing.” A voice similar to Severus’ rang out. “But I can do plenty to you.”

Cormac turned to his right. A man in a red suit strolled over to them, his expression impassive.

“I know you,” Cormac began. “You were that customer in the store the other day.”

“Correct.” The man gestured for Severus and Sirius to move to the side. The spirits complied.

“Do you have any idea how nutty Hermione is?” Cormac asked.

"She is perfectly sane."

“She’s gone off her rocker I can prove it.”

“While I would love to hear your nonsensical ramblings, I have more important things to do tonight. So I will get to my point,” the man in the red suit began. “Repent of your actions, make an unbreakable promise never to harass Hermione again, and we will leave you unscathed.”

“Why should I repent?” Cormac asked. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I take it that means you will not abstain from harassing Hermione Jean Granger.”

“I won’t see her anymore.”

“But you’re still going to publish that harmful story about her,” the man continued.

“I just want to expose the truth,” Cormac argued. “She’s crazy, and I’m exposing her.”

“Do you repent of your former actions?”

“There is no need to repent! I’ve done nothing wrong.”

The man set his gaze upon heaven. “Let it be known and acknowledged that this mortal has had numerous chances to repent, and he has refused to do so. He has sinned against heaven and against you. Is he in my hands?”

A flash of lighting illuminated the room. Thunder crackled and roared. The ground shook.

For a few moments, all was silent and dark. Then, the man sprouted wings on his back. His eyes became dark as a black hole as a fiery wheel appeared in the sky behind him.

Snape diverted his eyes, though the other spirit stared at the angel, wide-eyed. Then, Snape yanked him down, pushed his head on the ground and turned away himself.

The angel’s body glowed red until it was the same color as the wheel. Two more pairs of wings sprouted from his body, one near his head and the other near his now cloven feet. Eyes sprouted throughout his body as his head split into four. After the mutation, he had the head of an ox, an eagle, a man, and a lion.

Cormac stared at him transfixed. His throat went dry as his mouth hung open. The last thought he remembered having was “turn away. Turn away from him.” Yet his body would not obey.

The entity let out a roar and flapped all his wings.

Cormac's world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am feeling much better today. Right now, I'm exhibiting no symptoms of COVID, so the worst seems to be behind me. I even get out of quarantine tomorrow (yay!). I may not be able to post much this week because work is going to be hectic, but I had time today and felt well enough to do so.
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	105. Chapter 105

Severus’ yellow glow was a good sign. If something tragic had occurred he would be blue, white, or in an extreme case, bright orange. He wouldn’t be looking as if he’d just deducted a hundred points from Gryffindor either. Whatever had occurred had worked in his favor, and hopefully hers too.

“Do I want to know what you’ve been doing?” She adjusted the purple pillow until it was between her back and the left armrest of the sofa.

“Perhaps,” Severus took his place beside her, his glow brightening.

“At the risk of regretting this, what were you doing?” She drawled.

“Helping Metatron repay his debt to you.”

“He repaid his debt already?”

Severus nodded.

“And I’ll like whatever he did, right?”

“You will love what he did for you.”

“Did he pave the way for you to spend the rest of your life here?” Hermione folded her hands.

“I do not know,” He admitted.

“But I wanted him to help with that.”

“He might still do something, but the program is in the Trinity’s hands, not his, so there was little he could do for us in that regard.” His glow lessened.

“If he didn’t help us be together then what did he do?”

His glow was as bright as a campfire on a starless night. “Let’s just say Cormac will no longer be causing problems for you.”

“He won’t?” Her eyes grew.

“No, he is incapacitated for the near future.”

“How so?”

“It is difficult to explain, but you need to trust me that he will no longer be causing problems for you."

“Do I want to know what you did to him?”

“Technically I did nothing to him.” Severus’ glow flickered. “And to be honest I’m not entirely sure what Metatron did to him. All I know is that for the foreseeable future, he is incapacitated.”

“I see.” Perhaps some things were better learned through _The Daily Prophet_ rather than a lover.

“Regardless he will not trouble you anymore. That much I can promise you.” His glow was a warm yellow.

She raised her eyes to heaven and exhaled, “Thank God.”

“Indeed,” he purred.

She closed her eyes as the tension in her shoulders relaxed. At times she had despaired of Cormac ever leaving her alone. Many a night passed where she stayed awake, wondering how far he was wiling to go. Now that he was incapacitated she could live her life free from that madness.

Another of her problems was correcting itself as well, namely Metatron’s approval of the program. For the last few weeks she had been terrified that the archangel would persuade the Trinity to cease the program, ending any hope of happiness she may have had. Now he seemed to understand how much Severus meant to her, and had already proven he was willing to help her. Who would’ve known that things would work out as well as they did. Life was strange indeed.

“Did anything eventful happen while I was absent?” Severus asked.

“Yes,” She tensed again as she turned her attention to her lover. 

"Do I want to know what it was?” He drawled.

“Harry called.”

His glow became light red

“He wants to speak with you.”

“No,” his voice was low.

“I told him you might not want to speak with him…”

“That is an understatement.”

“But it could bring you both peace.”

“If he wanted to bring me peace he wouldn’t have tried to put you in a mental ward,” his glow intensified. “As it stands right now, he did try to harm you in my name, and I will not forget it.”

“I know, and it was wrong of him to do what he did, and I don’t know if I’ve forgiven him yet,” she began, her words coming out almost as fast as she could think of them. “I feel like I can’t be mad at him forever though. Perhaps I should forgive him, even if our relationship will never be the same.”

“I am in favor of you forgiving him, especially since your friendship with him has increased your happiness, at least at times,” he answered. “But forgiving him does not entail that I speak to him.”

“I know it doesn’t,” she replied. “And I won’t force you to speak with him. Perhaps it is inadvisable.”

“Inadvisable is putting it mildly.”

"Yet it may be good for you two to speak with each other."

"I refuse to speak to Harry." He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why?”

“Because I am still infuriated over what he did to you.”

“I know, and I appreciate you standing up for me." Hermione said. "There may be some benefit to speaking with him though. This could be a time of healing for all of us.”

“I feel fine at the moment.”

“Do you?”

His frown deepened.

“You’ve encouraged me to forgive Harry for the sake of my happiness, and I appreciate that. Yet at some point you and Harry will need to accept the other’s role in my life.”

“I respect his role, but do not wish to play a part in your friendship.”

“How can you not now that he knows about you?”

“It’s simple. Harry is not my friend, ergo I have no reason to be acquainted with him.”

“I know, but,” she glanced at a book on the coffee table. “He knows you’re here, and that we’re together. It wouldn’t feel to keep you two so separate.”

“I suppose I cannot go to Purgatory every time he comes over,” his glow was white.

“I mean you can,” she returned her focus to him. “Yet I would like you to be as involved in as many aspects of my life as you can be, not flee like you’re some type of dirty little secret when my friends visit.”

“Sadly there are many parts of your life I cannot be involved in regardless of whether or not Harry is in the picture.”

“I know, and I’m fine with that.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“Wouldn’t you like someone to drop in on your store every once in awhile?” His glow dimmed. “Wouldn’t you like someone to take you to Ministry balls?”

“I haven’t been to one of those in years,” she huffed. “I hated them.”

“I thought they would force you to go given your social status.”

“Yes, the disgraced member of the Golden Trio is so wanted at the balls.” She rolled her eyes. “Honestly I think many of the lower levels of hell are more pleasant than those.”

“Fine, you don’t want to go to Ministry balls, but would you not like to go on vacations at some point? Perhaps you could enjoy a tropical island, or an African safari,” He turned blue.

“Those sound enticing,” she admitted before shaking her head. “But what good is any of it without you?”

“It’s worth quite a bit, much more than you realize.”

“So what, are you breaking up with me so I can take a vacation?” 

“No, I’m just pointing out Harry isn’t the only aspect of your life I cannot partake in,” he replied.

“I know, but the other people on vacation don’t need to see you, and won’t take comfort in your presence.” She sighed. “But Harry will, which is why I want you involved with that aspect of my life.”

“Indeed.” His glow lessened.

“I know Harry has hurt us, and I’m not sure I’ve forgiven him for what he’s done,” she put a hand on his. “But I think we’ll all find peace if we can have a discussion about all of this.”

“We probably will,” he rubbed her hand with his thumb, sending a jolt of love through them both. “At some point I need to face him.”

“It doesn’t have to be tomorrow. In fact, I don’t think I’m ready for it to be any time in the near future.”

“But we cannot spend your entire life procrastinating on this.”

“I would prefer we not.”

The silence which fell between them was much more tense than the last.

“Whatever happens between Harry and me,” Severus’ voice was soft. “I love you.”

“I know,” She touched his forearm. “And I love you too. If he’s becoming too inappropriate, if it’s too much, I’ll ask him to leave.”

“I can handle Harry.”

“If you’re upset, then I cannot handle Harry, which is why I need you to tell me if you’re becoming irritated.”

“I will remain calm for you then.”

“This isn’t about you remaining calm for me. If you’re upset please tell me so we can work through it, although,” she gave him a half grin. “Your glow usually gives you away.”

“It is unsettling to be so transparent.” He scowled, but his glow was yellow.

“I don’t know, you can be cute when you glow certain colors,” she slid closer to him. “Like pink.”

“It is quite embarrassing to be pink.” Despite his wishes, his glow was a shade of the offending color.

“Oh I don’t know,” her eyes were agleam. “If anyone knew you were capable of becoming pink they would be quite scandalized.”

“Which is why I will avoid all my former students at all costs in heaven, save you.”

“But some of them are my friends.”

“Then I will be on a cloud staring at the stars when you meet with them,” he furrowed his eyebrows. “And I will not turn pink around them.”

“No, you’ll never let anyone other than me know the big bad potions master could turn pink.”

“Exactly,” he replied. “You are the only one privileged enough to know I can be pink.”

“I feel quite honored then.” She put a hand over his hair.

“You should.” He brushed his lips against hers before lowering his voice. “You’re also the only one I will ever want to fuse with.”

“I cannot think of anyone I would rather fuse with either,” She tugged at his robe, but her hands went through him.

“Bedroom?” He drawled.

“Yes,” she purred.

With that, she strolled to the bedroom, the spirit floating right behind her, the troubles of the day behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	106. Chapter 106

Theresa knew when the denizens of heaven were avoiding her.

They knew to stay away from her when her glow was as red as it was. Nobody wanted to be the recipient of one of her flare ups. Best not to provoke her by creating an excuse to disappear before she could say anything.

Most of the time, Metatron calmed her when she fell into one of these moods. Considering he was the source of her frustration, this was unlikely to happen. No, there was little anyone could do for her foul mood, so it was best she went off on a cloud to think.

How did she solve a problem like Metatron? Avoiding him for eternity may be an option. With the right planning it could work. All she needed to do was consider the drawbacks. Eternity was a long time, and the space in heaven wasn’t as endless as she would have liked in this situation. People teleported with a thought, so it wouldn’t be hard for Metatron to find her, assuming he cared. Like it or not, at some point she’d run into the bastardo…

All hell would break loose then.

Pushing thoughts of Metatron aside, she dangled her feet from the white puffy cloud. How were the people of Lincoln Park doing? It had been some time since she’d checked in on the parish bearing her name. It might be wise to do so. The Trinity knew few other people wanted to speak to her, and it would be in her best interest to distract herself from a certain archangel whose name she wished she could forget. Spiritually inspiring a mortal or two could be just the thing to lift her spirits.

“Would you like to share a tequila with me?”

Speaking of spirits.

“I fulfilled our bet. I have the tequila, and a glass nobody has drunk from.”

She waved him away, still staring at the ground.

“It’s very high end, the best a mortal could afford.”

She folded her arms and glanced down at the church. What sorts of things were the mortals praying for? How could she help them? 

“Fine, you don’t have to share the tequila with me, but you could at least take it along with the glass.”

“Just leave them on the cloud. I’ll get to them when I’m in the mood,” she muttered.

“When will you be in the mood?”

She shrugged.

“I know you’re upset with me, but it would be inadvisable to stay that way forever.”

“Why?”

“It isn’t acceptable behavior for a spirit.”

“So now you care about acceptable behavior?”

For a few moments, there was quiet. If she was lucky he was back in court…

“I’m just saying, forgiveness is a virtue,” there was his grating voice again. “It’s one the Trinity encourages, especially in heaven.”

“What are you going to do if I don’t forgive you, beg the Trinity to send me to Purgatory?”

“No, but,” he paused. “I’ll keep coming here until you’ll at least look at me.”

“Why do you care about some former mortal?”

“To begin with, I would like to talk to someone when I’m between cases.”

“It seems like you have plenty of people to talk to. You could pester Dismas about his program, or give Michael tips on how to defend heaven. With your infinite wisdom, you could do everyone’s job around here!”

“I know I don’t know everything…”

“No, you’re just an expert in mortals,” she fumed as her glow became a neon red. “You know so much about them! Why wouldn’t you spend your time your time interfering in their lives and just forget about the one you were forced to interact with? You have your statue! Why not enjoy it and forget about me since you aren’t forced to interact with me anymore?”

“I…”

Her frown deepened.

“I messed up when I was speaking with Dismas.”

“You’d better believe you messed up,” she spun around, glared at the archangel, and pointed at his chest. “You wouldn’t leave Severus and Hermione alone because you couldn’t imagine how a spirit and a mortal could be in love!”

“I understand how a spirit and a mortal can be in love just fine.”

“Did the Trinity explain it to you once you got your tequila?”

“No, they didn’t need to explain a thing to me.”

“You talked to spirits who were once mortals?”

“No, I did not. I…” his glow lessened. “I learned it from experience.”

Her eyes grew as her glow became white.

“I learned it from you.” If her hearing wasn’t perfect, she wouldn’t have believed he’d said it.

“If you experienced love, why were you so horrible to everyone?”

“You know better than anyone how zealous I am for the Trinity. Most days it serves me well, until it doesn’t.”

“When does it not serve you well?”

“When I forget how much you mean to me and stick my nose into places it doesn’t belong.”

“What are you trying to say then?” Her glow was a soft yellow.

“You know what I’m trying to say.” His left wing twitched.

“No, I don’t.”

“Must we do this?”

“No,” she replied. “I can take my tequila and glass, and throw you off of this cloud. It might be nice to enjoy some quiet.”

“Fine,” Metatron folded his wings close to his back. “I’m sorry I interfered with Hermione and Severus. Most importantly, I’m sorry I acted like you were nothing. I’m sorry I implied spirits couldn’t love mortals, and made you seem like an obligation. I’m very sorry, and would be most appreciative if you’d forgive me.”

“Anything else?”

“I think that about covers it actually.” He held up the tequila and the glass.

“Angels.” She shook her head and took the tequila from his hands.

“What?” He drawled.

“For messengers of God you aren’t very vocal about your feelings.”

“We don’t feel the need to splatter our emotions everywhere if that’s what your’e implying,” Metatron replied. “We need a sense of decorum after all.”

“Sure you can just be Mr. Stoic.” She approached him. “For the record though, I love you too.”

He gave her a half grin as she took the tequila from him.

“So tell me,” She examined the bottle. “Is this the good stuff?”

“It’s supposed to be anyway. I’ve honestly never had it.”

“You haven’t?”

“No, the mortal who gave it to me thought I would need something drastic to win back your affections, hence the price tag,” he answered. “Given how seriously I’d erred, she was correct in thinking I needed more than something you could find at a cheap liquor store.”

“I hope you paid her back well.”

“Let’s just say I eliminated one serious problem in her life.”

“Do I want to know how?” Theresa raised an eyebrow.

“I showed her stalker one of my more alarming forms.”

“Ooh, it’s been awhile since you’ve done that.” She took the glass from him. “Did you burn down an entire city in the process?”

“No, things didn’t need to go that far, or so the Trinity believed.”

“Do you think it should gone further?” She gestured for him to sit.

“I have decided to keep my nose out of the realm of the mortals.” They reclined on the clouds together. “My latest interference nearly cost me everything. I don’t want to push my luck again.”

“I don’t think the Trinity would have damned you.”

“No, but you would’ve made me wish I had been damned.”

“I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to hurt you.”

“No, but your ignoring me would’ve been close enough to hell.”

“See.” She opened the tequila bottle. “Was it that hard to admit you cared for me?”

“It was the most difficult thing I’d ever managed.” There was a twinkle in his eyes. “I don’t know if I can do it again.”

She chuckled.

“Anyway, this is supposed to be high end tequila. You’ll have to let me know how it tastes,” he continued.

“You should have a sip too. After all, you know more about this than I do.”

“Sadly I know more about the cheap stuff.” He took the bottle and the glass from her. Before she could object, he poured some for her. “I eagerly await your judgment on this though.”

She took the glass and held it up. “Salud.”

“Salud,” he replied, raising an imaginary glass.

After her initial sip, her yellow glow sprang up like a flame. Her glistening eyes were huge. “I love this! It-it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted!”

“Really?” Metatron cocked his head as the liquid went through her onto the cloud.

“Yes, try it!” She held out the glass to him.

He put some in his mouth before swishing it and spitting it out. His glow intensified as well. “That is amazing!”

“I could drink it all day.” She took another sip, only to have the liquid go through her and into the cloud. “In fact, I feel like arguing with you right now so you’ll buy me another bottle.”

“Or we can skip the argument and I ask the Trinity for another chance to go to earth.”

“Fine,” she took another sip.

“We could drink it straight, or I could make you a cocktail,” he offered. “I learned quite a few from a book.”

“You bought a book?”

“More like got badgered into receiving one,” He straightened his wings. “But it was a wise decision to get it all the same.”

“Sí.” She drank more of her tequila.

A comfortable silence fell between them.

“Theresa?”

She hummed.

“I’ve missed you these last few days.”

“I missed you too.”

“I have a little time between cases.” He placed his hand over hers until they fused together. “If you want, we could enjoy the moment so to speak.”

“Only if you brought the spear,” she purred.

“I never see you without it.” He pulled it out from his back.

Theresa glowed as brightly as the sun behind her.

Perhaps very few people understood her relationship with the archangel, but this suited her just fine. They were in love. Since heaven was love, they were exactly where they needed to be.

***

“Cormac?” Ares pounded on the front door. “Cormac?”

Not a sound from the other side.

“Are you asleep?”

Not a sound.

“I know it’s early, but we need to discuss the _Prophet_ story. It’s worse than we thought.”

Nothing.

Ares tapped his left foot and scratched his chin. Under most circumstances he’d walk away, but this was too important to ignore. He pulled out his wand and shouted, “Alohomora!”

The door creaked open, allowing Ares entrance. He called the other wizard’s name three more times, but there was no sound. At first the intruder wondered if he should leave, until he saw a shadow huddled in the center of the room.

“Cormac?”

The figure groaned.

Ares rushed over and looked at the other man. “Cormac!”

He didn’t answer, even as he was being shaken.

“Wh-what happened to you?” Ares noticed the vacant expression in Cormac’s eyes, as well as his wet pants.

“Angel,” Cormac groaned. “Angel.”

“What angel?”

“Angel,” he moaned.

“Cormac, speak to me! What is wrong?”

The Ministry official could not utter a word. Instead, he was staring into space, trapped in his own mind, until his soul made a full repentance, and promised to engage in his sinful lifestyle no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	107. Chapter 107

Nothing was more pleasant than waking up beside Severus.

The spirit floated a few centimeters atop the sheets, surveying their latest research notes. He was fully robed, though she suspected she could change that with a little persuasion.

He hummed, breaking her thoughts. At first, she thought he’d meet her eyes, but he shifted the scroll until he was glancing at the third section. She didn’t know whether to be offended that he didn’t notice her, or amused that he had such concentration.

A few moments of silence passed before Hermione made her move. She touched his hand, sending a jolt of love through them. Severus glanced down at her before turning pink. “Good morning.”

“Morning.” She cooed.

“How long have you been awake?” Severus set the scroll onto the pillow beside him.

“Long enough to admire you reading.”

“What is so admirable about my reading?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Everything.” She squeezed his hand.

His expression remained the same despite his brightening glow.

“You are sensual when you’re being yourself.”

“You are the first person to accuse me of being sensual.”

“Other women aren’t always as perceptive as I am,” she sat up.

“Either that, or others are too intimidated by my charming personality to give me much thought.”

“You are quite charming when you want to be.”

“No I’m not.” He kissed her hand. “I just choose not to treat you better than I have any other woman.”

She chuckled.

“I take it you want breakfast.”

She shook her head. “I want something else.”

“What would that be?”

She removed the spaghetti straps of her peach nightgown from her shoulders.

“My my, aren’t we eager.”

“Well,I never could resist a man reading.”

“And I could never resist a woman with an intellect such as yours.” He tugged at the bottom of his robe, only stopping when he heard a pecking at the window.

“Keep going,” she whispered.

“Yes, but _The Daily Prophet_ is here.” He released his robe.

“There’s never anything worth reading in there, at least nothing as interesting as you.”

“So I am more interesting that _The Daily Prophet_?”

“Infinitely so.”

His glow intensified.

“I say forget the owl and enjoy the moment.” She slid her nightgown down.

The owl’s pecking became more aggressive.

“That thing could destroy the window,” Severus warned.

“I don’t care at the moment.”

“Perhaps you should,” He turned to it “It’s doubtful eudaimonia involves broken windows.”

“Anything can be repaired with the right magic.”

He returned his attention to her.

“If you want to help me achieve eudaimonia, then forget the owl and please resume what we were doing."

“Your wish is my command.” He purred before removing his robe completely.

***

The newspaper shook in Harry’s hands. His face was as pale as the full moon on a cloudless night. Bile raced up his throat as he tossed it onto the paper.

“Dear, what’s wrong?” Luna approached the kitchen table with James in her arms.

“Have you read the paper yet?”

“No, I’ve been too busy with this little pixie.” Luna kissed her son on the forehead.

The baby gave her a lopsided grin.

“You should read the paper then.”

“What happened?”

“Hermione was in trouble, and I had no clue.” His voice was barely louder than a whisper.

“What kind of trouble?” She asked. “It doesn’t have to do with Severus, does it?”

“Not at all. Just,” he gulped. “Just read.”

He handed her the paper. She shifted James until she could support him and hold the paper at the same time. After a few moments, her eyes were just as wide as his. “Oh my.”

“How could I not have known?” Harry buried his face into his hands.

“I didn’t know,” Luna answered. “I didn’t know the harassment was going on either. If I did, I would have told you immediately.”

“I know you would have.” He shook his head. “I just wish I’d known. I would’ve done something.”

“Perhaps you can still do something.”

“What can I do now? Hermione’s been suffering for months, if not years, and I unknowingly let it happen. I mean, I knew Cormac had a crush on her, but I didn’t know he’d take things this far.” Harry groaned. “If I’d known how obsessed he was with her, I would’ve stepped in.”

“Sadly, you can’t change the past. All you can do is focus on the present. Now, you can give Hermione your comfort, and start building a case against Cormac.”

Before Harry could answer, a wispy leopard appeared before him. “Harry Potter! There’s been an incident at 2666 Squire Drive. One person has been injured, though we are unsure how.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Harry muttered.

The wisp disappeared before more information could be given.

“Isn’t 2666 Squire Drive where Cormac lives?” Luna asked.

“It is.”

James reached for his father.

“You may have a chance to get more information on what he’s been up to from him if you go,” Luna suggested.

“I’ll be right over there,” the auror stood “If only to give McLaggen a piece of my mind.”

“If he’s the injured person, then someone already has,” Luna mused aloud.

“All the more reason to find them.” He replied. “I need to get their address to send them a thank you note and give them a huge handshake.”

With that, he rushed to change into his uniform, ready to start his day.

***

“He’s going to kill me.”

All the joy of the fusion had evaporated the moment Hermione laid eyes on the front page. A picture of Cormac’s slimy smile dominated the paper, as if taunting her one last time. The article was stomach churning, not only for reliving her trauma, but also to hear what he had done to other women prior to her. There was a nagging feeling that she was not safe though. Although her name was not mentioned, anyone familiar with Cormac’s obsessions would know who “Ms. Green” was.

“He’s going to kill me,” she trembled. “He’s going to read this, think I encouraged it, and go after me.”

“I told you, he is no threat to you,” Severus promised.

“How certain are you of that?”

“As certain as I am about the existence of angels.”

She gulped.

“He will never hurt you again.” Severus touched her shoulder. “You need to trust me on that.”

“What about the others?”

“What others?”

“Other people will read this article. Once they do, they’ll know it was me he was pursuing.”

“I suppose you could ignore them,” his glow brightened. “Or take control of the narrative.”

“How?” Hermione’s voice was weak.

“Give an expose to Betty while the story is hot. Let everyone know the article is accurate, and raise awareness of this issue so he can’t do this to other women, assuming he ever recovers.”

She blinked.

“You have lived in fear of him for so long. Now is your time to take control of the situation and tell your side.”

“I haven’t had much control as of late,” she admitted.

“Yes, and now you can do so without fear of retaliation.”

“Everyone already knows he’s been harassing me.” She scratched the bed. “I’m only confirming the story.”

“Yes,” he answered.

“If I say something, they can’t twist my words around like I’m playing him.”

“Exactly,” he answered. “Take control and break free of the hold he has on you.”

“I will,” she slid off the bed. “It’s about time I contact Betty and tell my side.”

“There you go,” Severus grinned.

Hermione rushed to the hallway, only to stop. She turned around and blushed. “I need to get dressed first, don’t I?”

“I don’t know. I would quite like the view of you sitting naked at your desk, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, finding your voice, dominating the conversation. You would look amazing doing all of that naked.”

“I would imagine I’d look much better doing it clothed.”

“You may want to do the interview clothed, but I would not mind watch you write in the nude, if only for the view."

“If you had a body, I would throw a pillow at you.” She gave him a playful scowl.

“Then I shall be grateful for my spiritual form.”

She opened one of her drawers and shifted through her poorly folded t-shirts. Severus loved this witch, but it wouldn’t hurt to teach her a few more housekeeping tricks, like how to pull a shirt from the bottom of the pile and not displace the rest.

“Severus?”

“Yes?”

“If I ask her to come here,” she selected a black t-shirt with “Duchess University” written in dark blue. “Will you be there with me?”

“Certainly,” he replied. “Though it’s doubtful you need me.”

“Yes, but I want you there, for comfort.”

“It’s not every day anyone looks to me for comfort.”

“It’s not every day I look to anyone for comfort.”

“Then I shall be there,” he promised before running a hand through her hair.

She relaxed despite not feeling his touch. She could feel his energy, which is all she needed at the moment.

“Go write your letter while I make us scrambled eggs.” He kissed her forehead.

“I will,” she replied.

With that, they set about performing their respective tasks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	108. Chapter 108

“Have I covered everything?”

“You’ve done that, and more.” Betty put her quill down and glanced up from her parchment. “Thank you again for the interview.”

“You are more than welcome.” Hermione folded her hands onto the kitchen table. “If you need anything else, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“I won’t,” Betty furled up the parchment and placed it in her pocket. “I’m just sorry you had to endure any of this. Something should’ve been done sooner.”

“I kept silent for too long, but that’s on me and no one else.”

“I could’ve written this sooner though,” the journalist continued putting her supplies away. “Beatrice alluded to Cormac being overly flirtatious with you a few times, but I didn’t realize he was outright stalking you.”

“In retrospect, I should have told someone, but I was afraid of the repercussions and not being believed.”

“Sadly, it isn’t easy for anyone to come out about this stuff, hence the reason the other women remained anonymous." Betty said. "I’m hoping to change that, though.”

“This article is a great first step.”

“It is far from the last though.” Betty stood.

"Oh?"

“I plan to do an expose on other Ministry officials I suspect have been harassing women and an overall expose on discrimination against women. With any luck, I can expose a culture of harassment which will hopefully lead to reform.”

“I wish you luck.” Hermione stood.

“Thank you. I hope I don’t need it.”

“Me too.”

“In the meantime.” Betty followed Hermione to the fireplace. “If you don’t mind, I would love to do a few more articles on you.”

“You would?”

Betty nodded.

Hermione bit her lower lip. She’d heard this before, and it hadn't ended well.

“You’re a fascinating woman, and more people need to hear your story. In fact,” Betty’s eyes lit up. “I could do an entire book on you!”

Hermione folded her arms over her chest and frowned.

“It would be so great to get your story out there.”

“No offense, but how can I be sure things won’t get distorted by the stroke of a self-writing quill?”

“To begin with, I don’t use self-writing quills.”

Hermione’s expression did not change.

“I have wanted to interview you for some time now actually. Beatrice thinks highly of you. She’s a good judge of character, and from everything I’ve heard you are someone to be admired whose story should be shared.”

“I am flattered, I truly am,” Hermione replied. “But please understand, my encounters with the press up to this point have been less than positive.”

“Rita has been rather cruel to you,” Betty admitted.

“That’s putting it mildly,” Hermione muttered.

“But that’s part of why I am interested in writing this,” Betty replied. “I think it’s time to set the record straight on a few things and undo some of the damage Rita has done not just to you, but to British journalism in general.”

The look in Hermione’s eyes encouraged Betty to keep going.

“Journalistic integrity took a huge hit about a month after _Severus Snape: Saint or Scoundrel_ hit the shelves.”

“How?”

“A doctoral Wizarding history student named Raphael Camael was doing his dissertation on Severus Snape and his role in the war. He was about halfway done with it when the book came out. Unlike Rita, he had access to several potions researchers who had worked with Professor Snape. He was in the process of interviewing them when the book came out. Apparently, they were upset with what Rita said. With their connections, they were able to get him access to Hogwarts so he could interview his fellow professors, something he hadn’t believed was possible. In turn, they gave him access to some of Severus Snape’s memories and his portrait.”

Hermione glanced to her right.

“For the last few months, he’s been publishing papers about Severus Snape, disproving almost every one of Rita’s assertions. Unlike other papers which are only found in academic journals, his professors have been giving them to rival newspapers like _The Quibbler_ and the up and coming _Wizarding Times._ A few of them have been published internationally too.”

Hermione returned her attention to Betty.

“He’s gotten other people interested in Severus Snape, and their articles are corroborating his work. Rita Skeeter looks like an absolute joke now.” Betty took a deep breath. “As does the rest of _The Daily Prophet._ ”

“Do you know where I could find Raphael Camael?” Hermione asked much more eagerly than Betty had expected.

“I don’t have his contact information on me, but I could find it and owl you.”

“If you give me that information I will consider helping you write a book on me.”

“You will?” Betty’s face lit up.

“Yes,” Hermione replied. “I can’t guarantee I will help you, since I want to see more of your work before entrusting my story to you.”

“Understood.”

“Still,” Hermione gave her a small grin. “I am impressed with your niece and what you have done so far. If your exposes on Ministry corruption can bring about change, then telling you my story may be in everyone’s best interest.”

“I promise to give you Raphael’s information as soon as I can.” Betty replied. “You won’t regret anything, I promise.”

“I’m through regretting anything,” Hermione answered. “It only wastes time.”

“True.” Betty extended her hand. “It was great to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Hermione shook it.

“Thank you again, and goodbye,” Betty released Hermione’s hand.

“Goodbye, and thank you,” Hermione watched as the journalist took a handful of flow powder, called out her address, and disappeared within the fireplace.

“People are writing dissertations on me?” Severus asked as he emerged from the shadows of the living room.

“Well, you are the most fascinating man I’ve met, and you did leave the most extraordinary life.” Hermione replied. “Honestly, I’m surprised only a handful of people are studying you.”

“Why would anyone want to spend years studying me?” Severus’ glow was light yellow. “Don’t you think it’s odd to spend that much time analyzing anyone?”

“It does sound odd when considering things from an academic perspective. Then again, who am I to judge?” She touched his hand. “I want to spend an eternity studying you, just not academically.”

“I just hope Raphael does not want to study me for the same reasons you do.”

“I hope so too. I would hate to fight anyone for your affections.”

“There would be no fight.” He brushed his lips against hers. “My heart is yours and only yours.”

“My heart is yours, and only yours as well.” She kissed him.

“Hermione?”

Severus turned light red as Hermione turned around.

“Hermione, are you there?”

She glanced at him, an unspoken request for direction.

“Go ahead and answer it.” He released her. “We can resume what we were doing later.”

“Okay,” she answered in a soft voice.

He touched her once more and whispered in her ear, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” her voice was more confident.

“Hermione?” The flames were becoming dimmer.

“Hello Harry,” she stuck her head in the fireplace. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine with me.” He took a deep breath. “I should be asking you that though.”

“Why?” She cocked her head.

“I read that article on Cormac.” He took a shaky breath. “I am so sorry that happened.”

She bit her lower lip.

“I was so disgusted when I read what he was doing to you. It, it was so awful. I knew he had a crush on you, but I never thought he’d go as far as he did.”

“I should warn you that the worst is yet to be published.”

“What?”

“Betty Braithwaite interviewed me in order to get a fuller account of what happened. What she uncovered this time was only the tip of the iceberg so to speak. The more egregious stuff is going to be published in about a day or so.”

“Oh Merlin,” he breathed. “Do you want to tell me what happened, or should I just read about it?”

“I suppose I should tell you the worst of it.” Hermione swallowed. “Cormac came here one evening with a bottle of Champagne laced with Amortenita.”

“Oh my God.” Harry gasped.

“I told Betty I was able to subdue him and get him out of there, but the truth is, uh…”

“Severus Snape saved you.”

She pursed her lips.

“There’s no sense in denying it. The truth is all over your face. It’s,” Harry bowed his head. “It’s good that he could save you when I was too oblivious to know what was going on.”

“I’m very grateful he was there.”

“I’m so sorry I tried to have you committed. It was so wrong. I should’ve listened to you instead of letting my doubts get the better of me.”

“It still isn’t okay, and I’m still hurt,” she shot a look backward. Severus nodded. “But I think we can work through this.”

“We can?” His lips curled upwards.

“We can.” She took another look at Severus.

The spirit’s glow flickered before he gave her a small nod. “For you, I’ll work through this with him.”

“All three of us will work through this,” she returned her attention to the fireplace.

“We can?” His expression was that of a man who had been exonerated from a lifelong murder sentence.

“Yes, somehow we can.”

“When?” He asked before clearing his throat. “I mean, I don’t want to push, but I am eager to talk to Professor Snape again.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to be anything less than impatient,” Severus drawled.

Hermione glared at him before looking at Harry. “We’ll determine a time later. It will depend on a few projects Severus and I are undertaking.”

“May I ask about them?”

“Sure.”

“Well,” he looked like a child waiting to open birthday presents. “What are they?”

“Let’s just say we’re taking steps to clear his name.”

“That’s amazing, but,” he paused. “How are you going to do so without revealing your connection to him?”

“We have a few sources who are willing to help,” she answered. “So long as I don’t make it sound like my only source is a spirit, things should be fine.”

“Well, good luck,” he replied. “If you need any help, I’ll do what I can.”

“I know you will.”

A baby’s faint cries broke the silence.

“It’s about time for James’ dinner,” he began.

“I suppose you should tend to him then,” she replied.

“If you want, I have some new pictures of him.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice to see them,” she took a deep breath. “But not tonight.”

“No, not tonight.”

“Goodbye Harry,” she began. “It was great to see you.”

“It was great to see you again, and oh! Wait!”

“What?” She stopped midstep.

“I forgot to mention, I would have called earlier, but I was at Cormac’s house.”

Even in the ashes she appeared pale.

“Right now, he’s catatonic in the Janus Thickey Ward, where he can’t hurt you, at least for the time being.”

“How long will he be in his state?”

“We don’t know, but the healers haven’t seen anything like it. They’re thinking it could take years for him to regain his faculties.”

She felt as if someone had removed a fifty kilogram backpack from her, and she could now stand upright.

“Anyway, I need to go. Goodbye to you, and if he’s there, Professor Snape too.”

“Goodbye,” she waved at him through the floo.

When the flames died, she stepped away from the fireplace and looked at Severus. “How are you feeling about all of this?”

“I feel as if we’ve been given a new beginning, and it would do us well not to squander it.” He floated towards her.

“Those are my feelings exactly.”

They embraced each other, hoping the peace of the moment could last them through the upcoming days, if not for the rest of eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	109. Chapter 109

“If you could clear up one misunderstanding about your life, which one would you select to rectify?”

Sirius poked his head up from Aristotle’s _Metaphysics._ “Excuse me?”

“If you could clear up one misunderstanding, which would you select to rectify?” Severus asked as he took his place beside Sirius on the couch.

“Honestly.” Sirius set the book onto a pile of ten others. “Nothing.”

Severus raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve accepted the fact that this is the only realm which matters at this point in time. Either people on earth will understand my story or they won’t. I don’t have any control over what people think of me, and I’m beyond the point of caring.”

“That’s it?” Severus cocked his head. “You spend a good portion of your life in Azkaban falsely accused of a crime, and now there’s no misunderstanding you want to have cleared up?”

“Pretty much.”

Severus stared at him.

“Look,” Sirius’ glow was light yellow. “I was able to prove myself to my harshest and ultimately, probably most correct, critic.”

“Metatron?”

“Yes, he understood my story. He understood my faults, and tore through all of my defenses. With a little charming though, I was able to convince Metatron I wasn’t so bad after all.”

“From what Dismas told me, Metatron's girlfriend refused to speak to him until he reconciled with you. That, and needing help to take down Cormac, were the reasons he saw anything positive in you. Your charms had little to do with his acceptance.”

“I would’ve charmed him eventually.”

“Somehow I doubt it.”

“I charmed you, didn’t I?” Sirius smirked. “You are just as hard, if not harder, to please than him, yet you like me now.”

“The Trinity put me in a hostage situation with you, and I developed Stockholm Syndrome. My sentiments are nothing more than that, I assure you.”

“Sure,” he drawled.

If Severus could’ve huffed, he would’ve. Instead, he settled for raising his chin and turning away from the other spirit.

“Where is this question coming from anyway?” Sirius’ playfulness gave way to a more neutral expression. “Up to this point, you haven’t cared about what anyone on earth thought about me. Why do you care now?”

“Hermione has an appointment scheduled with a graduate student tomorrow to clear up a few misunderstandings surrounding my life.” Severus returned his gaze to the other spirit.

“She’s not going to reveal that you’ve been speaking with her as a spirit, is she?”

“No, but she did find some,” Severus made scare quotes “‘memories’ nobody else has seen.”

“I take it those memories have been smashed.”

“They were misplaced when she moved to Australia in a cruel and unfortunate twist of fate. Still she remembers them vividly.”

“I’m sure that’s just the kind of reliable evidence this student is looking for.”

“Perhaps not, but what is more reliable are the notes I wrote on various potions as a spirit. Thankfully my handwriting changed little after death, so any expert would know I wrote them.”

“He would be interested in your original writing, now wouldn’t he?” Sirius’ glow brightened.

“I don’t know if he’s more fascinated by the memories or the notes, but it honestly matters little. Somehow, Hermione is going to tell him my story. I’ll be watching them in the background, ready to let Hermione know if I feel she’s missing something. With any luck, we’ll debunk all of Rita’s slander and the vicious rumors once and for all.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Truly?”

“Yeah,” Sirius’ glow was a warm yellow. “I know what it’s like to be unfairly accused of things. That shouldn’t happen to you.”

“That’s why I asked you if there’s anything you want to clear up,” Severus answered. “Is there any misunderstanding you want cleared up? If so, Hermione and I could get the story out, if not to the graduate student, to someone else studying the war.”

“In the context of my relationship with you, there’s nothing to clear up,” his glow lessened. “I was a horrible arse to you, and I should be vilified for that. Even as an adult, I treated you abysmally. I laughed at my Purgatory trial because I couldn’t stop being cruel to you. I deserve to have that known.”

“Yes, but in the afterlife, there was more to you than just a bully. After a few months, you became somewhat enjoyable to be around.”

“Oh now you like hanging out with me,” Sirius leaned into him and batted his eyes.

“Yes, I have such terrible Stockholm syndrome that I find myself tolerating you.” Severus shook his head. “The Trinity may not be as loving as I hoped if they’re allowing me to grow to care for you.”

“I love you too.”

“Love?” Severus jerked away and hit the end of the couch.

Sirius held back his laughter. “Relax, it’s only the philios kind of love between friends, but it does apply to my feelings towards you.”

“Love is still a strong word.”

“The connotation isn’t always as strong as people make it out to be. See, there are few words distinguishing the different types of love in the English language. So the different types of love get conflated into one word, which usually implies romance. It’s rather unfortunate since the meaning gets lost.”

“When the hell did you become so perceptive in philosophy?” Severus sat up straighter.

“When it became clear there was nothing else to do.”

“Yes, but when we started you could barely get through Nicomachean Ethics or keep the characters in Plato straight.”

“It took some getting used to reading Greek philosophy, but I did it.”

“Perhaps that is one perception which should be changed.” Severus gave him a small smile. “The perception that you are little more than a shallow dunderhead.”

“I was a shallow dunderhead on earth. That fact will never change. As for who I am now well,” Sirius winked. “I have an eternity to correct those perceptions.”

“You do,” Severus’ glow brightened.

“Go clear your name and don’t worry about me. I’ll get everything sorted out once I leave Purgatory.”

“You are more focused on living out eternity than I thought you’d ever be.”

“It’s all we have at the moment.”

“Yes, but the mortal realm still exists,” Severus noted. “Isn’t there anything you’d like from it?”

“Well,” Sirius’ glow dimmed. “I would like to talk to Harry one more time.”

“I thought you saw him quite often,” Severus twisted his lips. “At least you did before he tried to harm Hermione and they stopped seeing each other at her work.”

“I see him, and I hope he can sense me, but,” Sirius turned a light blue. “It isn’t the same as conversing with him.”

Severus sat up straighter.

“Sometimes I envy you. You can talk to someone you love and can move objects. All I can do is spy on people and hope they sense me. Even if they could sense me though, I cannot interact with them directly.”

“I hadn’t thought of how frustrating that must be before,” Severus admitted. “At first, I envied you because you could go anywhere and see the world whereas I could only see the interior of Hermione’s house. I had never thought about watching the world pass you by and doing nothing about it.”

“I don’t care as much about the world as I do Harry.” Sirius’ glow was a darker shade of blue. “If I could talk to him though, I would praise the Trinity forever."

“What would you tell him, if you could?” Severus’ voice was soft.

“I’d tell him I loved him, and that I was proud of him.”

“Is that it?”

“I could say a thousand things honestly, but everything would boil down to those sentiments.”

“Perhaps with some persuasion, the Trinity would allow you to speak with Harry.”

“When I leave Purgatory, I’m sure they’ll let me see him in heaven.”

“Perhaps if we begged them, or showed them how much you’ve grown, they would allow you to interact.”

“Maybe, but,” Sirius bit his lower lip. “I thought we were meant to help Hermione.”

“I’m not convinced of that anymore.”

“Oh.” Sirius tilted his head.

“I cannot explain it, but I feel as if the Trinity wants me to give Harry peace as well, hence the reason they are allowing me to stay long enough to speak with him through Hermione.”

“Maybe they’re allowing you to spend an eternity with her, regardless of your forms. Harry may not be a factor.”

“I would love that,” Severus’ glow was a light pink. “It is my fondest desire to spend as much of eternity with her as I can.”

“Imagine you saying that when this began,” Sirius chuckled.

“I would have thought myself crazy.”

“I would’ve thought you crazy too.”

The spirits sat in a comfortable silence for what may have been a few moments, or a few hours. When one was living in eternity, it was difficult to tell.

“Don’t worry about clearing my name,” Sirius spoke up. “As long as Harry knows I love him, I will be satisfied.”

“I will make sure he knows how much you love him,” Severus promised.

“If you can do that, then I’ll consider you my best friend forever.”

“Won’t James be jealous if he learned you had a new best friend?”

“He’s in Purgatory knee deep in paperwork. What he doesn’t know won’t kill him," Sirius' smirk returned. "Not that anything can anyway."

“I suppose you can't come back from where he is,” Severus admitted. “That being said, I’m only willing to reconcile with one marauder at a time. Don’t expect me to be best friends with him anytime in the next few centuries.”

“I wouldn’t expect that at all,” Sirius replied. “Still, you should give him a chance when his Purgatory sentence is over. He may have learned something.”

“Only if you serve as a mediator of sorts, especially if he becomes too horrid.”

“Deal.”

The spirits then embraced, allowing their love to flow to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my updates have been so sporadic. COVID hit me much harder than I thought it would, but after seeing the doctor for a routine checkup I'd scheduled months in advance, I have been declared to be in perfect health! Work picked up though, which is another reason things have been so sporadic. Still, I'm working on this story, and hope updates will be more regular soon.
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, thank all of you for sticking with me! It really means a lot to have such amazing readers following this story!


	110. Chapter 110

Much to Severus’ pleasure, Raphael Camael, was no dunderhead. It was a trait which would serve him well in his career of sorting out what had happened during the Second Wizarding War. The fact that he was a foreigner helped. He was coming in with no presumptions of who Severus Snape should be, or traumatic memories regarding his teaching methods. After being judged by so many people with biases and agendas, it was nice to have a mortal with no personal knowledge of him drawing their own conclusions.

Wait, did he just call Raphael a mortal? Had Severus been a spirit so long that humans were now mere mortals? What did this mean for how he viewed Hermione?

“I can’t believe Severus worked on a potion for curing scarlet fever.” Raphael’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“I was a little shocked too when I went through his notes,” Hermione placed another parchment onto her kitchen table. “But it’s very thorough research.”

“Why did you keep this hidden for so long?” Raphael scooted his chair closer to the table.

“When I first got these documents, I wasn’t quite sure what they were,” Hermione organized the parchments between them so they were in a neat stack. “I would have looked them over, but some personal drama got in the way.”

“Would that be your relationship with Ron?”

Hermione paled and swallowed.

Severus’ glow dimmed. Even people in New Zealand had heard of her poor romantic choices. Could she ever escape her past and be seen as the wonderful woman she was in the present?

“I apologize is I spoke out of turn,” Raphael cleared his throat. “In the course of my research I learned about you and Ron. I know about the relationship, probably more than I should.”

“I suppose it would be difficult to study the war without knowing about the Golden Trio,” she admitted.

“He’s a right old arse if you ask me.” He unfurled a parchment. “There was no excuse for him abandoning you.”

“It’s all over now,” she replied. “We won the war. That’s all that matters.”

“I also heard about you and your parents.” Raphael swallowed. “Your methods of restoring their memories was revolutionary.”

“I was just lucky I was able to restore their memories, and they weren’t upset with me.”

“Indeed.” He snuck a look at the parchment. “I cannot blame you for not looking over these notes sooner under those conditions.”

“I know, but I still should’ve given them a peek,” She shifted another parchment towards him. “But once things settled down I decided to look over them. The treatments they contain are revolutionary.”

“Do you plan on brewing all these potions?”

“I hope to over the course of a few years.” She sighed. “But I’m still running my bookstore, which is a job in and of itself. It’s going to be difficult to balance them both.”

“I can only imagine. Lord knows it’s difficult enough being a graduate student, but running a business and researching…” He shook his head.

“Indeed,” she relaxed. “What got you into Severus Snape, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, that’s fine,” he answered. “I initially considered going to a university in Britain for my undergraduate, just to get out and see the world. When I realized how dangerous it was, I decided to attend the College of the Appalachians.”

“I hear that’s a beautiful Wizarding University.”

“It is,” he replied. “Don’t get me wrong, I consider going there to one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Still, I was curious about the war. When I decided to go into Wizarding History, I began studying it in my current events class. At first, I only focused on the rise of Voldemort, but once the war ended and the stories began coming out, I realized Severus Snape was the most fascinating figure.”

“He is very fascinating.” Her lips curled up.

“These notes though,” he shook his head as his face lit up. “I’ve always been interested in potions, but I was a menace near a cauldron. Still, I know enough to know these theories are amazing.”

“I wish I had appreciated his genius at the time,” she admitted. “But now that I’m in a better place, I can appreciate what I have.”

“Yeah.” He continued thumbing through the parchments.

As the evening wore on, Severus couldn’t help but note the irony of his afterlife. As a boy, he had been neglected, made to feel like nothing. Now, a graduate student from New Zealand was doing research on him, and explaining how he had recanted his atrocious pureblood views. Books were being written about him, people were reevaluating his legacy, yet all he cared about was what the witch in front of him believed. So long as she loved him, the other entities in existence could all fade into the background. 

The only tragedy was that Hermione got no credit for bringing him happiness and peace. If he ever got the chance, he would rectify that mistake.

Sadly, it was doubtful he would get that chance in the mortal realm.

***

“St. Pete!”

No answer.

“Hello! St. Pete!”

A few more moments passed.

“Are you there, St. Pete?”

Sirius slumped onto the couch and picked up a book. Saints weren’t house elves who came when he called. He was beginning to accept this fact. That didn’t make it any easier to be patient.

Five pages into his book, his glow went blue as the edge of waiting wore off. Perhaps they knew what he was going to ask, and had already said no.

“I apologize for my tardiness,” St. Pete appeared, leaning on his golden staff. “I had to deal with a couple of lesbians who needed to be redirected deeper into heaven.”

“Did they try to jump the pearly gates to get to Purgatory or save someone from hell?” Sirius set his book down beside him.

“No,” the saint replied. “They were so excited to see each other they started to fuse right in front of the gates. Once they were finished they were very eager to speak with me and thank me for letting them in. Then they asked for the most scenic parts of heaven. I got so caught up in the conversation I almost didn't hear you." 

“Do you deal with that often?”

“More often than you think.” St. Pete’s glow was soft. “It's always amazing to see lovers reunited and see the joys on their faces when I tell them about the wonderful scenery heaven has to offer."

“Maybe you should make a map with all the good hiding places,” Sirius suggested. “That way, you won't have to spend so much time explaining where everything is."

“I considered that once, but the Trinity pointed out that heaven is always expanding. If they only know the more well-known spots they may miss another place just as beautiful."

“I guess it’s better to let people explore heaven on their own then.”

“They have an eternity to do so anyway.” The saint frowned. “I sense I am not here on a social call though.”

“No, I have something to ask,” Sirius replied.

“What?”

“May I.” Sirius’ glow flickered. “May I speak with my godson?”

“I thought we made the rules clear.” The saint pursed his lips together. “You cannot speak to anyone or interact with the world"

“I know, you made it clear. Still, this is hard,” Sirius turned blue. “I want to tell Harry so many things, but I can’t do it.”

“I know that must be frustrating, but mortals and spirits are meant to be separate for a reason.”

“There’s a cosmic order, it must be kept up, Severus gets to break it because he’s special, I’ve heard it all before but,” his glow pulsated. “I really think I could help Harry if I spoke with him though.”

“Many spirits believe they could help people if they would just speak to them, but words need to be spoken in life, not wait until after death.”

“Yes, but this is important, and I think we should make an exception.”

“I understand you feel entitled to certain things…”

“I want to help Severus by speaking to Harry before he can."

St. Pete closed his mouth.

“Harry wants to speak to Severus, but I don’t think he knows how to make peace with him,” Sirius argued. “He needs help sorting out his emotions. I think, no I know, I can help.”

St. Pete loosened his grip on his staff.

“I won’t lie, I want to talk to Harry for my own comfort and to tell him how much I love him. Yet I’m afraid if I don’t speak with Harry he could make certain mistakes when reconciling with Severus. I may be able to prevent him from making an arse of himself and alienating Severus and Hermione.”

“You’re serious about all this, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m extremely serious about helping.”

“For once in your existence, you’re behaving selflessly, or at least more selflessly than usual.”

“I just want to help,” Sirius answered, his glow brightening. “I think I could help Harry sort out his emotions, and could then relay his thoughts back to Severus. If I did that, they’d both be ready for this meeting. It would take some stress off of Hermione too since she could focus more on translating between spirit and mortal, not mediating their disputes.”

“I must admit,” St. Pete stroked his long white beard. “You make some interesting points.”

“I think I could help, I really do, but I have to be able to speak to Harry first. So please,” Sirius folded his hands, “Please let me speak to Harry before this meeting.”

“It isn’t a terrible idea, and it comes from a pure intention.” The saint grinned. “I think I can pass this request before the Trinity.”

“Thank you.” Sirius’ glow intensified.

“They may still say no,” St. Pete raised his finger. “You must be ready for that.”

“I am, and if they say no I have no choice but to accept it, but I will be thankful if they seriously consider it.”

“I know you would, which is why I have no problem asking them.”

“Oh thank you!” Sirius hugged the saint, causing him to drop his staff.

“You’re welcome.” St. Pete returned the embrace as their essences touched.

“What are you two doing?”

They broke apart and glanced at Severus, whose eyebrow was raised as high as it could go.

“Nothing,” Sirius answered in a sing-song voice.

“Sure,” Severus drawled.

“Anyway, I must be going. Great to see both of you, and,” St. Pete picked up his staff. “I will bring your request before the Trinity.”

“Thank you!”

Before Severus could ask for an elaboration, St. Pete disappeared.

“I think that’s the most pleasant visit I’ve had with him,” Sirius began. “He’s even starting to like me.”

"Either that or he's so worn down from dealing with you he's lost his usual edge."

"I suppose I do have a way of wearing people down. After all, you like me."

"For reasons I'll never understand."

Sirius grinned.

“In all seriousness, do I want to know what you asked him to do?” Severus asked in a low voice.

“No,” Sirius’ eyes were agleam. “But you’ll love it.”

“Your definition of love and mine are often dissimilar,” Severus muttered.

Sirius gave him a self-satisfied smirk before opening his book and resuming his reading.A few times, Severus considered asking further questions, but decided against it.

Surely the Trinity wouldn’t allow Sirius to behave too stupidly, would they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!


	111. Chapter 111

It had been more than a month since Hermione had last seen her youngest godchild. Despite her attempts to hide her pain, there were brief moments when her eyes betrayed her desire to see James again. The pictures Luna sent were no substitute for interacting with the child.

They were an even lesser substitute speaking with James’ father.

A few years ago, Severus would have considered attempting to fill the hole the Potters left himself. He would have attempted to persuade her that he was all she needed, and hope their love was enough to get them through life. This strategy would be futile though. There were experiences Harry and her shared which Severus did not wish to understand. They had inside jokes Severus would never find humorous, experiences he had no part in, and knew aspects of each other they would show nobody else. In short, Harry and Hermione were the kind of friends Lily and him had once been, only their friendship had matured, not withered, over the years.

If Severus wasn’t careful, Hermione was in danger of losing that connection. Harry had apologized, but she was still musing over the situation. Perhaps she feared losing Severus if she reconciled with Harry. If that was the case he would need to convince her that he would never leave, nor would he ever put himself in a position where she would need to choose between him and Harry. She shouldn’t have to sacrifice anything to be with Severus, save a little of her time.

“You look pensive this morning.” She yawned.

He hummed and turned to her.

“Care to share what is on your mind?” 

“I do not know if my thoughts are appropriate to share with you so early in the morning.”

“What thoughts?” 

He twisted his lower lip.

“What exactly aren’t you telling me?” She sat up.

“Why haven’t you and Harry reconciled yet?” He asked in a soft voice.

“I’ve already told you, it’s because I’m not ready to forgive him.”

“Is that it?”

“Do I need another reason not to reconcile with him other than I’m not ready?”

“Of course not,” he said. “I just thought you’d miss him given how close you two were.”

“I am too busy working through what happened to miss him too much.”

“Are you too busy to miss James?”

There was a flash of pain at the sound of the infant’s name.

“I fear that if I am preventing you from reconciling with him, I am not being a supportive lover.”

“You aren’t preventing me from reconciling with him.” She said.

“I feel as if I may be though.”

“Why would you feel that way?”

“Because you are Potter argued about me. Things would not be horrid between you if I had not come into your life.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you’ve improved things?”

“I know I have, and you have improved my existence. I just don’t want it to be at the expense of everything else.”

She bit her lower lip.

“Relationships should enhance one’s life, not dominate them at the expense of other things.”

“You are enhancing my life.”

“Yes, and you have more than enhanced my afterlife.” His glow was yellow. “Still, you must admit that it’s been some time since you and Harry have spoken.”

She lowered her head.

“It leads me to wonder, what is stopping you from reconciling with him?”

A tense moment fell between them. Severus glanced down at Hermione, wishing he could raise her chin and see the whirlwind of emotions playing in her eyes. Perhaps he would have some idea of how to proceed if he could just read her. As it was, he was the spy who could decipher Voldemort’s every move, yet was hopeless in helping his female lover. There was an irony in there somewhere.

“Do you promise not to be upset with me?” Her voice was almost too soft to hear.

“I promise.”

She met his eyes. “I’m afraid of dealing with you.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“When Harry and I reconcile fully, he will want to speak with you.” She began. “I don’t know what he will say, or what kinds of questions he will have for us.”

“Do you think he will despise you because of me?” His glow lessened.

“I don’t think so, but I know he’ll want to speak with you. The only way he could do that is through me.” She swallowed.

“Do you feel up to being our go-between?”

“Honestly?”

“No, lie to me.”

“I’m being serious here,” she said.

“Fine, what is your fear.”

“I’m terrified of messing things up.”

“How could you mess anything up.” He floated closer to her.

“If he asks about our relationship, I may feel the need to defend myself. I could wind up arguing with him without giving you a chance to speak. Conversely, he may think I’m making up what you say.”

“If he thinks that is the case then he wasn’t as sincere as not thinking you were crazy as we thought.”

“I know, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t think I was crazy. It doesn’t change the fact though that I sometimes struggle to stay out of my own way. I am terrified of messing up.”

“You will not mess up.”

“I know you have confidence in me, but there’s a lot at stake here,” she began. “For one, there’s your eternal salvation. If this reconciliation goes awry, they may believe the program isn’t working. What if I put the program in jeopardy because I say the wrong things?”

“First of all, you could never put the program in jeopardy.”

Her eyes betrayed her doubt.

“My salvation is mine, and mine alone. You are in no way responsible for it.”

“But…”

He silenced her with a kiss on the forehead. “I am not your responsibility.”

She closed her mouth.

“Second of all, you have been dealing with Potter for years, and you have done a decent job of handling me these last few months. Given how well you know us, I would not be too concerned about your ability to mediate between us.”

“So you have faith in me?”

“I believe you will exceed my wildest expectations.”

Her lips quirked up.

“I suspect Harry hasn’t contacted you because he wants to give you time to process everything,” Severus answered. “I would imagine he is just as torn up about all this as you are, and just as eager for a reconciliation.”

“Yes,” she said. “At least, that’s what he indicated in the letter he gave me after Cormac was found insane.”

“Then I would suggest writing him soon.”

“How soon?”

“As soon as you feel ready,” he said.

“How will I know when I’m ready?”

“You are the only person who can determine that..”

“I really miss James.” She relaxed. “The sooner I see him, the better.”

“I’m sure he misses his godmother.”

“I don’t want James around when we talk,” she continued. “Still, if we see him beforehand and ask Luna to leave before Harry talks to you, that could work.”

“I’m sure she would be more than willing to accommodate you.”

“That being said,” there was a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “I’m not ready to write him just yet.”

“Oh?”

“There are a couple of things I need to do first.”

“Like what?” His glow brightened.

“Like kiss you.” She brushed her lips against his essence.

“Is that as far as you want to take it?” He purred.

“No,” she took him into his arms, allowing their essences to fuse once more.

***

Sirius had given up hope of hearing a positive response to his request. There was no point in dwelling on his disappointment for too long though. There were other, more productive things, he could be doing.

He sat on the sofa, doing his best to absorb the lessons of _De Anima._ So far, the souls described in the book were nothing like he’d encountered in the afterlife. For rational beings who only contemplated philosophy, there was a lot of non rational fusing in the afterlife. Perhaps that was for the best though. As much as Sirius was beginning to appreciate philosophy, he didn’t know if he wanted to do this for the next thousand years, much less all of eternity. Aristotle may have found contemplation fun, but Sirius needed more out of his afterlife. A few adventures would be nice. Perhaps he could teach some angels a few pranks, just to liven the place up. There would be no more tree hangings, but a whoopee cushion made of clouds could provide a little fun.

“They said yes.”

Sirius startled and poked his head up from the book.

“The Trinity accepted your request, and will allow you to appear to Harry in a dream, under the condition that you make some attempt to help in his reconciliation with Severus,” St. Peter leaned against his golden cane and smiled. "If it's clear that you are making no effort to help him reconcile with Severus, you will be transported to heaven and he will forget seeing you."

“That’s good news,” Sirius set the book down.

“You don’t look as enthused as I thought you would be.”

“No, I’m enthused,” Sirius’ glow intensified. “I just wonder what took them so long to reach their verdict.”

“They wanted a few things to fall into place before making a final decision.”

“Shouldn’t they already know what’s going to happen?”

“The Trinity deals in probabilities. They know what’s the most likely to happen and how each action could interact with that. They wanted to see what was most likely and what was needed.”

“But how does being all-knowing mean they only deal in probabilities?”

“What do you mean?”

“If the Trinity knows everything, they should know it beyond the shadow of a doubt. That implies more than a probability though.”

“I see you’re becoming more philosophical,” St. Pete smirked.

“It’s not like there’s anything else to do.” Sirius shrugged.

“True, but it is difficult to think about you contemplating Platonic forms or how being omniscient vs free will plays out.”

“I’m just bored. The second I find something more interesting to do, I’ll do that.”

“You do seem like the kind of person who wouldn’t enjoy simply reading eternity anyway.” St. Pete stroked his beard.

“No,” Sirius said. “But it beats sitting in a room watching my life play over and over again.”

“I would imagine.”

The gleam in St. Pete’s eyes was unnerving. He had something in mind, but for the afterlife of him, Sirius had no clue what it could be. Did he want to know?

“Anyway, I will give you a day’s notice when you are to come down and appear to Harry in a dream,” St. Pete said.

“Why can’t you tell me now? Or…” Sirius’ glow flickered. “Probabilities have to play out.”

“And Metatron said you were incapable of learning.” The gleam in St. Pete’s eyes brightened .

“On earth he would’ve been right, but in the afterlife I’m better at remembering what was said to me five minutes ago.”

“Yes, you are.”

In an instant, St. Pete disappeared, leaving Sirius to contemplate the one thing he’d neglected to fully consider when he'd made this request.

What do I say to Harry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> This story was done as a challenge to redeem a character I absolutely loathed. In this case, it's Sirius Black. We'll see how things shape up here soon. 
> 
> In the meantime, thank you for checking this out! I'm very appreciative of any and all support I receive!


End file.
